ACHTUNG! THE DESERT TIGERS (1977) - Lame Italian WWII war flick which, for about 45 minutes, veers off into the Naziploitation genre that those spaghetti-benders were so fond of during the mid-to-late 70's (hence, it's inclusion here). The plot concerns a platoon of American and British soldiers, led by Major Lexman (Richard Harrison), who are sent to the Middle East to blow up a Nazi fuel depot. They complete their task, but are captured and sent to a P.O.W. camp in the middle of the African desert, run by nasty SS Captain von Stolzen (Gordon Mitchell), who is so mean he orders a man to be whipped even though he is dead. There's also the Ilsa-like Dr. Lessing (Lea Lander), who performs illegal experiments and torture on the male and female prisoners, including castration, flogging and other acts of degradation. When Lexman is made to view all this human suffering by von Stolzen, he and his platoon, along with fellow American prisoner Max Tyler (Mike Monty), devise a way to escape the camp. After a couple of setbacks, they escape into the African desert and bring Dr. Lessing along as a prisoner. Captain von Stolzen sends his troops out to find them, but Lexman and his men prove to be much tougher than the Captain expected. Lexman and his men lay waste to several Nazi desert outposts, steal some vehicles and head back to the prison camp, but Dr. Lessing breaks free and kills everyone except Lexman (she runs out of bullets). In what has to be the worst ending in recent memory, Lexman throws a shovel at Dr. Lessing's feet and says, "Dig!" Cut to the closing credits.  Directed without an ounce of flair or originality by Luigi Batzella (THE DEVIL'S WEDDING NIGHT - 1973) using his "Ivan Kathansky" pseudonym, this film is nothing more than a mixture of badly-staged war action (with plenty of stock footage from other films) and Nazi war camp atrocities. You will witness a man having his penis lopped-off with a machete, women beaten and stripped naked (with one woman forced to walk on her hands and knees while being whipped with a riding crop), Max being forced to drink another man's urine (he throws it in von Stolzen's face and is shot in the head) and, of course, a Nazi orgy featuring naked female prisoners being forced to have sex. The script (also by Batzella) tries to justify all this depravity and degradation by making Captain von Stolzen a homosexual (he can be seen kissing a transvestite at the orgy) and Dr. Lessing a S&M loving lesbian (who likes to be whipped by her female assistant). Thankfully, at the 45 minute mark, the film reverts back to a straight war film, but it is so damn boring and uneventful, you'll be staring at the clock just begging for it to end. While there is plenty of full frontal female and male nudity on display during the first 45 minutes, none of it is the least bit titilating, which makes me wonder what kind of people enjoy this type of "entertainment". This is just disturbing. Also starring Isarco Ravaioli, Agnese Kalpagos, John Brown, Zaira Zoccheddu and Mauro Mannatrizio. The print I viewed was a DVD-R rip of a letterboxed VHS Dutch-subtitled print on the Sunrise Video Tapes label under the original title of "Kaput Lager: Gli Ultimi Giorni Delle SS." Not Rated.

THE ADULT VERSION OF JEKYLL AND HIDE (1972) - This sadistic early-70’s relic tells the story of Dr. Christopher Leader (Jack Buddliner) who, while browsing through an antique store with his fiancee Cynthia (Jennifer Brooks), comes across the diary of Dr. Jekyll. He returns to the store after hours and demands to buy the book. When the shopkeeper refuses to sell it, the doctor strangles him. He brings the book home and begins reading it. Flashbacks show Dr. Jekyll (Buddliner again) drinking his formula and turning into his alter ego. Mr. Hyde picks up a prostitute, whips her bloody, ties her to a bed, rapes her and, in a finishing touch, shoves a red-hot poker up her vagina! Dr. Leader tries to duplicate the formula, but has much different results than his predecessor. Instead of turning into a Mr. Hyde, Dr. Leader transforms into a horny Miss Hyde (Jane Tsentas). Initially shocked at the results, Dr. Leader learns to make the best of the situation (since now the horny doctor can have the best of both sexual worlds). Dr. Leader reads more of the diary and in flashbacks we see Mr. Hyde brutally bludgeon and rape another prostitute. Dr. Leader decides that Dr. Jekyll’s problems with his murderous double will not happen to him. That is not to be the case. The police find the dead shopkeeper and clues lead them to Dr. Leader. To avoid the cops, Dr. Leader hides in the body of Miss Hyde. Dr. Leader’s alter ego seduces his nurse (Rene Bond), whom he has boned many times before as a man. Since the police are staking out his residence, Dr. Leader can only leave his home as Miss Hyde. She goes to a bar, picks up a sailor and castrates him with a straight-razor, holding his dismembered dick in her hand while she watches him bleed to death. Miss Hyde then tries to seduce Detective Russo (Harry Schwartz), but she fails in her attempt at killing him. Poor Cynthia is next. Promising to tell Cynthia the whereabouts of her missing fiancee, Cynthia agrees to meet Miss Hyde at her apartment. Miss Hyde strangles Cynthia, forcing her to pass out. Miss Hyde is about to rape her when Detective Russo intervenes. Miss Hyde gets tossed out a window and dies, as we view the twisted body of Dr. Leader lying on the pavement below. This poverty row flick (released by David F. Fried-man) is heavy on the sleaze and nudity (full male and female nudity with simulated sex) but it is so badly acted and photographed (by screenwriter Robert Birch) that it is almost not worth your time. Almost. The sex scenes are dubbed with so many "oohs" and "aahs" that they become unintentionally hilarious instead of titillating. The phony English accents in the flashback sequences are also funny. Mr. Hyde sounds like Blackbeard the Pirate. The violence is brutal, but never believable. Director Lee Raymond’s (using the pseudonyn "L. Ray Monde") pedestrian approach to filmmaking destroys any tension that may be had from the violent sequences. Producer Byron Mabe ("B. Ron Eliot" here) is better known as the director of SHE FREAK (1967) and star of THE DOBERMAN GANG (1972). I was too young to see this "Adults Only" feature when it was released to theaters and after viewing it today I would have to say that THE ADULT VERSION OF JEKYLL AND HIDE should be only viewed as a curio from an era of filmmaking that we shall never see the likes of again. I didn’t care for it but you may. A Something Weird Video Release. Not Rated.

ANDY WARHOL'S BAD (1977) - Bad taste black comedy about Hazel Aiken (Carroll Baker), who runs a murder-for-hire/electrolysis shop in her home. Hazel prefers to use women as her hitmen, but is forced to hire L.T. (Perry King) when no woman will take a job involving killing an autistic boy. L.T. is forced to live with Hazel when the job is delayed and he interacts and fucks around with the other inhabitants of the Aiken household: Hazel's daughter, mentally-slow Mary (Susan Tyrrell), and her illegitimate black baby; Hazel's mother (Mary Boylan), who never stops smoking or hacking; and Hazel's husband (Gordon Oas-Heim), who is oblivious to everything that's going on and who's main job seems to be putting flyers for Hazel's business on parked cars. We then meet some of the hitwomen and the murders they commit. One woman crushes an "illegal alien's" legs under an auto hydrolic lift, cuts off his finger (for her personal collection) and then takes a Polaroid of the body as proof for the client (who wanted retribution because the illegal alien pushed her husband into an oncoming subway train, severing his arm). A sister hit team, Glenda (Geraldine Smith) and Marsha (Maria Smith), is hired by an angry gassy woman to kill an ex-cop's (Lawrence Tierney) dog, because he made fun of her shorts when they were in a bar!  Glenda and Marsha then take Mary to the movies, where Marsha (who's a pyromaniac) sets fire to the theater, killing fourteen of the patrons (She laughs about it when watching a news report on TV the next day). The sisters steal a car (which Marsha also sets fire to while Glenda is still driving it!) and leave Mary on the street, where she is raped by a black thug. The next night, Glenda and Marsha beat-up the ex-cop and stab his dog. After a particularly nasty episode involving a baby and a highrise window, L.T. gets the phonecall that the mom is ready to have her autistic son killed, but Mary overhears the conversation and tries to warn the boy's father, but he brushes her off (turns out that the guy she talked to wasn't the father but a visiting plumber!). L.T. enters the boy's bedroom, takes a look at the boy (and throws him across the room) and finds himself unable to kill him (He picks up the boy, goes to the parent's bedroom and says to the mother, "You do it!"). Things fall apart for Hazel when her disappointed clients start giving her a hard time (the ex-cop's dog lived, the autistic boy's mother is pissed and a crooked cop pays a visit) resulting in Hazel being drowned in her own kitchen sink. A most fitting end for a woman so vain about appearances.  While this film is basically nothing but a series of outrageous set pieces, it's not without it's twisted charms. Not one person in this flick acts normal or has any morals at all, whether it's Hazel trying to stiff the blind newstand guy by telling him the one dollar bill she handed him was actually a five dollar bill, L.T.'s constant lies (I doubt anything he says to anyone in this film is the truth) or the crooked black cop, Detective Hughes (Charles McGregor), who blackmails Hazel into giving up some names of her clients so he can pad his arrest record. Most of the actors in this speak with thick New York City accents (filmed on location) and some of the dialogue they speak is hilarious. Glenda says in the theater: "I only do blacks. Let's take one home. Daddy said he'd chop my head off if he saw me with a nigger!" You know this film is special when Susan Tyrrell (NIGHT WARNING - 1981) is the most laid back person in the cast. She plays the role of Mary as a woman-child, who just happens to have a child (she drops it on it's head on several occasions), but Hazel takes her welfare checks and uses them for herself. You actually feel sorry for her as the film progresses. Carroll Baker is downright nasty as Hazel. She has no sympathy for anyone (even her daughter) and is such a money-hungry bitch, she even has a lock on the phone so no one else uses her "messaging units". The film's standout (and gross-out) scene comes when a distraught mother tosses her crying baby out a highrise window and we watch it fall until it splatters against the sidewalk, splashing blood all over a passing woman. A mother then tells her young son as they are staring at the dead baby, "That's what I'm going to do to you if you don't shut up!" Cruel, shocking and hilarious. Much like ANDY WARHOL'S FRANKENSTEIN and DRACULA, Mr. Warhol had very little to do with this (he gets a Production credit, but I doubt he ever set foot on the set). This is director Joe Johnson's only directorial credit (he died at the age of 47 in 1996, in the explosion aboard TWA Flight 800), but he worked on various Warhol films as Cinematographer, Associate Producer and Editor. Also starring Kitty Bruce, Brigid Polk, Cyrinda Foxe, Tere Tereba and Stefania Casini as members of Hazel's hitwomen squad. An Embassy Home Entertainment Release. Originally Rated X, but later cut to achieve an R Rating. Judging from the baby-tossing scene, not much seems to have been cut.

THE AROUSERS (1971) - Gym teacher Eddie Collins (Tab Hunter of GROTESQUE) has a thing for the ladies. Unfortunately Eddie can't perform sexually (His soldier won't salute) due to his constant watching of his mother undress while he hid in her closet as a child. His only recourse is to kill the women he tries to sleep with and stash them in a pidgeon hutch on his roof. Eddie's not a bad guy. He gives his male students pointers on how to treat the ladies ("Be patient. Give them room, but not too much.") and walks around like he doesn't have a care in the world. He's good looking and the women love him. He hires a prostitute (Roberta Collins of CAGED HEAT) to dress as his dead mother, the only way he is able to achieve sexual gratification. When the roommate (Cherie Latimer) of the first killed girl reports her missing, the police come to her apartment, find grass in the bathroom and arrest her! (This is the 70's after all.) Eddie gets picked up at the beach by a beautiful girl and they take a shower together. Again, unable to perform sexually, Eddie stabs the girl repeatedly (and may have had necrophelia with her) while calling her a "slut" and cleans up her body in a tub. When Eddie can no longer use his prostitute to play his mother (She tries to kiss him without dressing up as his mother and he spits on her and calls her a "whore".), he begins to unravel. When neighbors of Eddie's apartment complex begin to complain of a bad smell coming from the ceiling, the landlady (Isabel Jewell) tells the neighbors not to worry (she secretly chained-up the pidgeon hutch to kill the birds and thinks the smell is the birds decomposing). Eddie goes on a muderous rampage, killing the roomate of his first victim and his wanna-be girlfriend Barbara (Nadyne Turney). The last time we see Eddie, he is sitting in the pidgeon hutch, staring blankly. This is the first film of director Curtis Hanson, who would go on to much acclaim for his multi-award winning L.A. CONFIDENTIAL (1997), a favorite of mine from the moment I first watched it (it still has the best gunfight ever committed to film, John Woo notwithstanding).  While Hanson is only cutting his teeth here, he does get a sympathetic performance out of Tab Hunter, who sheds his good-guy image that he had for many years before and opened his career up to play more diverse roles, but unfortunately, mainly in low-budget garbage. Originally shot in 1971 under the title SWEET KILL, this film lingered on the shelf until 1973 when executive producer Roger Corman had Hanson shoot two days of nudity inserts to spice-up the film. Angus Scrimm (PHANTASM - 1979) has a small role here using the name "Rory Guy". This is a good snapshot of the early 70's that should please the sleaze fans out there looking for plenty of nudity, sex and violence. Also known as A KISS FROM EDDIE. An Embassy Home Entertainment Release. Rated R.

THE BAD BUNCH (1976) - Greydon Clark, not content on writing and directing this morality play (released to theaters as NIGGER LOVER and TOM), gives himself the lead role of Jim, a white Vietnam vet who travels to Watts to deliver a letter to the father of his black friend who was killed in the war. Clark (who bears a resemblance to actor Paul LeMat) meets his dead friend's brother Tom (Tom Johnigarn), a honky hater who proceeds to beat up Clark with the help of his gang called "The Brothers." The melee is broken up by two racist cops (Aldo Ray and Jock Mahoney). When Clark refuses to press charges (he says it was a friendly misunderstanding) the two cops later handcuff Tom and beat him senseless. Tom, mistakenly thinking thinking that Clark ratted him out to the cops, sets out to teach him a lesson. They get into a fistfight at a pool party where everyone goes skinnydipping. The cops haul Tom's ass to jail. When he is released, Tom and his gang kill Ray and Mahoney and gun down Clark at his wedding reception. The film closes with a quote by Martin Luther King asking for peace among the races. Jumpy editing, poor production values and inane dialogue are the main distractions of this exploitation film. Clark is quite good in the lead role. Maybe he should have stuck with the acting profession and forsaken the behind the scenes work. He may have had an accomplished career instead of being known as a hack director and screenwriter churning out such lines as "I ain't nobody's nigger!" and "Tom is the name you Uncle Toms gave me. My name is Makimba!" On the plus side, there is plenty of female full frontal nudity as well as some good acting from Tom Johnigarn when he is not muttering some of the racist dialogue. The late Aldo Ray appeared in many badfilms later in his career , including MONGREL (1983),  BOG (1978/1983), EVILS OF THE NIGHT (1984) and SHOCK 'EM DEAD (1990). Producer/co-screenwriter Alvin L. Fast and executive producer Mardi Rustam also produced and co-wrote Tobe Hooper's EATEN ALIVE. A United Home Video Release. Rated R.

THE BEASTS (1980) - Five teens go camping in the woods, including brother Wah (Eddie Chan) and sister Ling (Patricia Chung), when they run into an inbred mountain clan in this Hong Kong rape/revenge thriller. After about a half hour of "character development", the mountain clan gang-rape Ling and kill Wah, by pushing him into a wild boar pit full of bamboo spikes. The police are called in, but the mountain clan's elder blames the campers for their own misfortunes ("They come here and destroy the environment!"). The police have two witnesses: Ling, who is now nothing but a basketcase (She's so far gone, she accuses her father of being one of her rapists when he visits her in the hospital), and a local villager (The police put a bag over his head, with two eyeholes cut-out so he can make an ID of the rapists, who are in the same room with him!). The mountain clan (who are sometimes referred to as "disco boys") are able to identify the local villager by his shoes (!) and pay him a visit once they are set loose on bail. They bury him up to his neck in pig shit and make him balance a sharp stick in his mouth, while alcohol is poured down his throat. Ling and Wah's father (Chen Sing) decides to take the law into his own hands since the police are so ineffective. Being a carpenter by trade, he uses tools of his trade in unusual ways to exact his revenge. The mountain clan go to a bar, where they kidnap a prostitute and bring her back to the woods, but they fight each other about who is going to have first dibs with her and she escapes. Ling's father kills the first clan member, Fu (Ko Chun-Man), by luring him into a tent (he simply hangs a couple of pair of women's panties next to it), snaring his leg in a bear trap and then hacking him to death with a specially-made machete. The second clan member, Ko (Kwong Tso-Fai), is dropped head-first into a wooden box full of protruding nails, ripping his head to shreds as he tries to remove it. When he tries to get the last three clan members in one fell swoop, the father fails and has to escape (by jumping off a waterfalls) after being seriously wounded. The clan members think he is dead, but we know better, don't we? As the remaining clan members gloat in their perceived victory, the father returns to finish his revenge and we finally learn just what exactly is being kept in those covered cages. They like raw meat and growl like a dog. Shit! They're just dogs!  Half the fun of watching this disturbing little thriller, directed by Dennis Yu (THE IMP - 1981; EVIL CAT - 1987), is trying to spot how many unlicensed pop and rock tunes you can hear on the soundtrack. I'm sure I missed a few, but I heard one from The Police ("Don't Stand So Close To Me"), Genesis ("Stay With Me") and a terrible Hong Kong remake of Supertramp's "Dreamer". Also, be aware that the version of the film I viewed was a composite print and contains hardcore footage during the rape scene (including vaginal penetration by fingers and a shot of an erect penis), but seems to be missing some frames of gory violence. This is a film very much in the vein of LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT (1972) and I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE (1978) but, unfortunately, the badly-translated burned-in English subtitles look to have been translated by someone who uses English as a third language, leaving a lot to be desired and actually destroying some of the tension in the latter half of the film. As with SPIT, one of the rapist clan, Mo (Kent Cheng of RUN AND KILL [1993]), is mentally retarded. He still comes off as the most sympathetic character here, as he's continually abused by the rest of the clan, refuses to take part in Ling's rape and has a pet mokkey named Kiki, who is his only real friend. His constant cries of "Not my business!" to Ling's father is the only thing that rings true in a film that's full of unbelievable situations. I was also bitterly disappointed to find out that it was only dogs being kept in those covered cages, especially with the buildup they were giving it. I was expecting maybe an even more feral, cannibalistic clan member, but finding out that they were only hungry German Shepherds was the film's biggest letdown. The best scene comes when Ling's father is being chased by the hungry dogs and he gets them off his scent by feeding them pieces of Fu's body, who is buried nearby. The finale also shows that there are more mountain clans to replace the dead ones, as a trio of new degenerates watch and salivate over a new bunch of campers they see arriving in the forest. As with most Hong Kong genre films of the 70's & 80's, snakes are in abundant supply. They are chopped-up, thrown around, generally abused and used creatively in one death scene. I was never a big fan of rape/revenge films, but this one (also known as FLESH AND BLOODY TERROR) is just offbeat enough to merit at least one viewing. Also starring Wong Chin, Paul Chung, Wong Siu-Ling and Kwok Man-Po as the dentally-challenged clan member named Snake. Never legally available on U.S. home video (I'm sure music rights play a role in that), but you can find this for purchase at many grey market sites. Not Rated.

THE BEAUTIES AND THE BEAST (1973) - What a hoot! Out of all the bad Bigfoot movies I have seen in my life, this inept, howl-a-minute fiasco has my vote for the most enjoyable of them all. The film opens up with a badly manufactured Bigfoot abducting a trio of topless babes from the forest and taking them to his tastefully decorated cave. Bigfoot then disappears from view until the last five minutes of the film, as the story veers off from one tangent to another. College student (and European mammary queen) Uschi Digard (SUPERVIXENS - 1973) and her roommate travel to a cabin deep in the woods to research a term paper (!). They run into four hippies and pretty soon our two college students are experimenting in free love and skinnydipping in a lake. Later on a duo of criminals with hunting rifles kidnap the group and demand to know the whereabouts of a cache of gold coins. The crooks locate the coins at the cabin of a bearded old hermit (but not before trying to rape the girls and roughing up the men). Bigfoot arrives in the nick of time, defeating the crooks and walking off into the sunset with the old hermit. The End. Huh? This sexploitation film has plenty of unanswered questions such as, "What happened to the girls in the cave?", but it is so offbeat it is sure to keep you occupied. Gratuitous nudity and sex, 70's fashions (including hip-high go go boots), campy dialogue and a dream sequence involving two naked girls (wearing only gunbelts) in a Wild West showdown are some of the weirdness on view in this short 62 minute film. You may hate yourself for enjoying it, but there is no denying it's charm. Director Ray Nadeau (associate producer of FANGS [1974], producer of THE MIDNIGHT GRADUATE [1971] and post-production supervisor of MESSIAH OF EVIL [1973]) must have escaped from the funny farm just before making this. One of my favorite discoveries of the past many years. Available at many video and department stores for under ten bucks. Grab it! Also known as THE BEAST AND THE VIXENS. An Applause Productions, Inc. Video Release. Rated R.

THE BIG BUST-OUT (1972) - This obscure "women in peril" flick relies heavy on the sleaze factor, as well as plentiful female flesh, but it really is not that interesting. A group of women are both physically and sexually abused at a prison  in some unnamed Middle East country, so when they are loaned-out to clean up a convent, they knock out all the guards, make the nuns strip, escape disguised as Sisters of God and take a real nun, Sister Maria (Monica Taylor), with them. Their freedom is short-lived, though, when they are betrayed and sold to white slave trader El Kadir (Gordon Mitchell). As they are about to be loaded onto a ship, the ship's captain, Jeff (Tony Kendall), saves them, steals a truck and drives them to safety. Their truck breaks down, so Jeff leads them on a long walk through the desert, where they happen upon an oasis, swim nude in a lake and then are attacked and raped by some Arab nomads. After having their way with the women (after knocking-out Jeff) and killing one of the women, the nomads leave. Nadia (Vonetta McGee) ends up missing, so Jeff and the women go looking for her. Meanwhile, El Kadir has sent out a hunting party to retrieve his "property". Jeff and the girls come across a remote village inhabited by black burka-wearing women, so they send Sister Maria in to look for Nadia. She finds Nadia nude, tied-up and being whipped by a mute retarded Arab man, but before she can save Nadia, Sister Maria almost gets stoned to death by the burka-wearing women. Jeff and the girls save the day and, after they kill some Arab marauders, they steal some horses and ride away. They run into some "policemen" and kill them when they try to rape the women and Jeff takes them to a castle in the mountains, only to find El Kadir and his men waiting for them. Jeff is thrown into the dungeon and the girls (including Sister Maria) are forced to participate as playthings in one of El Kadir's drunken orgies. Jeff is set free by an unlikely ally (who is after El Kadir's hidden loot) and he goes about trying to free the women. Unfortunately, during the ongoing gun battle, all but two women (and Jeff) make it out alive. Sister Maria sacrifices her own life to save Jeff and the two women, who ride off to safety in the film's conclusion.  This badly-dubbed Italian-German co-production continuously finds new ways to degrade women (rape is the most frequent method), but the film is cold and impersonal, like watching a porn film without any "money shots". Director Ernst R. von Theumer (JUNGLE WARRIORS - 1984; RED HEAT - 1985; HELL HUNTERS - 1986), here using the pseudonym "Richard Jackson", and scripter Sergio Garrone (who would later direct the Nazi sleazefest SS EXPERIMENT LOVE CAMP - 1976) don't really offer much to the viewer besides frequent female nudity and sex (some of which was edited out to achieve an R rating) and mostly bloodless violence. I do give the film some points for the location shooting (the mountain castle is impressive), but there's not much characterization, as all the women (besides Sister Maria) are interchangable and lack distinct personalities. Top-billed Vonetta McGee is wasted in a thankless role (I believe she has the fewest lines of all the women in the film) and was probably given the top spot to lure blaxploitation fans to this since McGee starred in three blaxploitation films in 1972: HAMMER, BLACULA and MELINDA. Fans of those films must have felt cheated for being falsely-lured into seeing this. It's funny that a film about a bunch of female prison escapees would have absolutely no interesting female characters. The most interesting role goes to genre vet Tony Kendall (RETURN OF THE BLIND DEAD - 1973; WHEN THE SCREAMING STOPS - 1974; YETI - 1977), as he manages to save the women nearly every time they get into trouble. So much for female empowerment. THE BIG BUST-OUT is a relic from the past that can be best viewed as a precursor to the naziploitation films that Italy started churning out during the mid-70's in that it portrays ways to abuse women with a minimum of plot. If that turns you on, you'll probably like this. I didn't. Also starring Linda Fox, Karen Carter, Christin Thorn, Mara Krupp, Margaret (Rose) Keil, Rebecca Mead, Girgio Dolphin, Herb Andress and William Berger. New World Pictures handled the 1973 theatrical playdates in the United States. An Embassy Home Entertainment Release. Rated R.

BLOODY FRIDAY (1973) - A group of diverse (and horny) people gather together for an encounter group on an isolated island in "an exercise in liberated living" (in other words, free love). The only problem is, there is a killer amongst them and the first victim is a young woman, who gets speargunned in the stomach and buried in a shallow grave while she is walking alone in the woods. Dr. Phillip Stevens (Wayne Dvorak), who heads the encounter group, has the people introduce themselves to each other by "milling", a technique where he turns out the lights and they grope each other. While the lights are out, someone bites one of the women on her breast and draws blood, sending her to the infirmiry. Allison (Claudia Jennings) has come to the island to escape her abusive boyfriend, Bud (Ed Blessington), but her follows her to the island and begins to get abusive with her in front of everyone else. Morris (Albert Popwell) steps in tp break it up and he tells Allison that he would like nothing better than to give Bud a knuckle sandwich, but she stops Morris before he can. Bud, in retaliation, gets picked-up by another woman and has sex with her, which visibly upsets Allison. Mousey stutterer George (Greg Mullavey), who only came to the island "to get laid", sees Allison's strife and gives her a shoulder to cry on. As more personal drama unfolds on the island, Allison incredibly makes up with Bud and they go exploring through the island's many beachside caves and are attacked by bats (!). After George and Bud get into a fight (where the mild-mannered George proves to be good with his fists), Phyllis (Jean Marie Ingels) is murdered by the unseen killer with a garden hoe. While Allison and Bud are making out (What is wrong with this girl?), the killer cuts-up all the girls' clothes and writes "Cunts Bitches Sluts" on the bathroom mirror in lipstick. A few more people are murdered or seriously hurt by the killer before we find out that George is actually an undercover cop who has been after the killer for quite some time. Allison comes face-to-face with the killer in the caves, but George saves her in the nick of time and everyone left alive lives happily ever after. Or at least I think they do.  This sexploitation thriller contains many stars of the B-movie genre, but the problem is that nothing much happens here. For a film that's supposed to be about free love, there's precious little nudity, at least not as much as there should have been (although the late Claudia Jennings does have a topless shower scene). Directors/producers Ferd and Beverly Sebastian, who also gave us the much-sleazier GATOR BAIT (1974), the awful Rock & Roll horror flick ROCKTOBER BLOOD (1984) and many others, don't seem to have their hearts in this and the screenplay (by Ann Cawthorne) is full of scenes that make no sense and people doing stupid things. Why Allison keeps going back to Bud is the most maddening aspect of this film. He's a jerk of the highest order, yet he's made one of the heroes of the film, which is this flick's biggest fault. Another fault with this film is that there are just too many characters here to keep track of or care about. Besides the ones already mentioned, there's the impotent Andrew (Victor Izay), virgin Lola (Joan Prather), cowboy Blue (Jason Ledger), trampy Shannon (Cheri Howell), sexpot Cathy (Mercy Rooney) and a half dozen others. The are given a few moments of screen time and then they are either dispatched or forgotten. The film also seems to be severely edited. There are many freeze frames or jump cuts when the violence is about to be shown. This could be because Ferd Sebastian had a heart attack during the 80's (this film was released on VHS by Ferd & Beverly's "Sebastian International Enterprises" label), became a born-again Christian and is now a minister! He may have edited it because the violence doesn't conform with his religious beliefs. What's truly head-scratching is that Bud disappears during the final minutes of the film, never to be seen again. When George confronts the killer at the end, there's a freeze frame on the killer's face, followed by a shot of George and Allison walking hand-in-hand down the beach discussing what they'll be doing on their first date. It's apparent that a good chunk of the film is missing, as we never find out the fates of the killer or Bud. It's a cheat on the viewer. Besides some fleeting nudity, this film (at least in this version) is not worth your time. Originally released to theaters as THE SINGLE GIRLS by Dimension Films, who released a lot of great exploitation and horror films during the 70's, including THE DOBERMAN GANG (1972), THE TWILIGHT PEOPLE (1973), DOLEMITE (1975), DR. BLACK MR. HYDE (1976), THE REDEEMER (1976), RUBY (1977) and SCREAMS OF A WINTER NIGHT (1979). This early 70's example of a slasher film should not be confused with the 1972 German crime thriller also known as BLOODY FRIDAY. A Sebastian International Enterprises VHS Release. Rated R.

BOBBIE JO AND THE OUTLAW (1975) - Lyle Wheeler (Marjoe Gortner) is a con artist and quick-draw champion who likens himself to a modern-day Billy The Kid. He steals an orange Ford Mustang, runs a patrol car off the road and meets carhop Bobbie Jo Baker (Lynda Carter). It's love at first sight. Bobbie Jo dreams of becoming a famous country singer (she sings Lyle one of her original songs on their first date), but she's going to have to put that dream on hold because she and Lyle are about to have an adventure. Lyle teaches Bobbie Jo how to shoot a pistol ("It's just like praying!") and shows her how to cheat at pinball by palming a magnet (He hustles one guy for $40 at a pool hall and has to fight the guy off with his car's radio antennae in the parking lot). Bobbie Jo's best friend, Essie (Belinda Balaski), joins Lyle and Bobbie Jo on their travels and soon they are tripping out on magic mushrooms while wading naked in a pond with an elderly Indian, where Lyle has a premonition of his death. When a cop tries to pull Lyle over for driving the stolen car, it leads to a chase where the cop car crashes and explodes (the cop is OK, though). They go to borrow some money from Bobbie Jo's stripper sister, Pearl (Merrie Lynn Ross), and her coke-sniffing boyfriend, Slick Callahan (Jesse Vint), but Slick gets Lyle involved in a robbery where he is forced to shoot and kill a security guard. With roadblocks at every exit out of town, they all disguise themselves as Christians heading to a revival meeting and they escape, but all is not peaceful within the clan. Pearl keeps riding Slick about taking orders from Lyle and Essie wants everyone to turn themselves in after watching Sheriff Hicks (Gene Drew) on TV threaten to "hunt them down like dogs" if they don't give up. Essie secretly calls the Sheriff and makes a deal with him, which backfares terribly, leading to a shootout in a trailer park that leaves Essie and several policemen dead. Essie dies in Lyles arms of a shotgun blast to the stomach and Lyle delivers a sermon over her makeshift grave (which came natural to Gortner, since he was a fire-and-brimstone teenage preacher before he became an actor). The remaining foursome decide to rob a bank, but first they rob a gun store for weapons, which leads to a shootout where Bobbie Jo kills her first man and she seems to enjoy it. There's no turning back now. After many gun battles, a bank robbery, a Wild West showdown and several close calls, Lyle, Slick and Pearl meet their maker while Bobbie Jo is captured, her fate uncertain. One thing is clear: She can kiss her country music career goodbye.  This mid-70's exploitationer, directed by Mark L. Lester (TRUCK STOP WOMEN - 1974; CLASS OF 1984 - 1982; and many others) and written by Vernon Zimmerman (UNHOLY ROLLERS - 1972; FADE TO BLACK - 1980), is the only film that you will ever see the soon-to-be WONDER WOMAN Lynda Carter's naked breasts. Although co-stars Merrie Lynn Ross and Belinda Balaski spend much of their screen time topless, Ms. Carter was very frugal in showing off her tits. So frugal, in fact, that Lester is forced to repeat one scene of a topless Carter making love to Gortner a second time later in the film. Marjoe Gortner has a natural screen presence and his starring turn here is a good one. His portrayal of Lyle as a good-natured criminal who gets caught-up in violence seems natural and unforced. Scripter Zimmerman puts in constant swipes at religion in this film, highly unusual for an exploitationer. The film is full of religious diatribes, some obvious (Gortner's comparing firing a gun to praying and his sermon at Essie's graveside) and some not-so-obvious (the $100 bill that Gortner leaves under one of his victim's hands so he can "have a good funeral"). Bobbie Jo and Pearl's mother, Hattie (Peggy Stewart), is also a devout religious woman, yet her daughters turn out to be a strippers and women who can stand to be around her. Hattie's true colors show through loud-and-clear when it's revealed that she made a deal with Sheriff Hicks to turn both of her daughters in for $50! Another taste of Zimmerman's distaste of religion comes when Sheriff Hicks and his men shoot-up a motel room only to discover that they have killed three innocent people inside. Sheriff Hicks looks at the bullet-ridden, bloody bodies, turns to his deputy and says, "With the Lord's will, they is sinners!" A telling, remarkable scene. The violence doesn't kick-in until the second half of the film and it's mostly just bloody bullet squibs, although some of it is nasty. I'm a big fan of director Lester's films and this one is the definition of what a drive-in film should be: Plenty of skin, plenty of violence and plenty of action. Also featuring cameos from Gerrit Graham, Virgil Frye, James Gammon and John Durren as deputy Gance, who gets his throat cut in a barbershop. A Vestron Video Release. Not yet available on DVD. Rated R.

THE BRIDES WORE BLOOD (1972) - While making love, a couple find a secret panel behind the bed which contains the boy's Uncle Carlos DeLorca's (Paul Everett) journal. The journal explains Carlos' endeavors to end the DeLorca Curse, where all male members become vampires. He contacts Madame Von Kirst, a psychic, to try to find a way to end the curse. She tells him that he must choose four girls and offer them as hosts to his vampire nephew, Juan (Chuck Faulkner). One of them will become Juan's bride and have his child. The child will then be exorcized by Madame Von Kirst, ending the curse. Carlos has his mute servant Perro (Bob Letizia) give invitations to four beautiful girls, offering them a tour of Casa DeLorca. The girls come to the house, where Carlos takes them on a tour. He then invites them to dinner the next evening to meet Juan. After dinner, the girls are tricked into spending the night. One of them is offered up in a "conjuration ritual" by Carlos, which consists of doping her up (graphic needle-in-the-arm close-up) and tying her down to an altar. The girl's boyfriend interrupts the ritual, knocking out Perro and Carlos and unknowingly unleashing a demon to cause havoc in Casa DeLorca. The demon possesses Perro, who slashes the throat of one of the remaining girls and then turns another one into a vampire. The third girl, Yvonne (Dolores Heiser), is chosen to bear the child and is raped by Juan. Meanwhile, the loose demon kills the first girl and her boyfriend (a machete in the head) before being dispatched by Carlos. Yvonne is exorcized by Madame Von Kirst to rid the evil from her baby. Months pass as Yvonne is kept prisoner in the DeLorca house until the baby is born. She tricks Perro into taking her for a walk and throws him down the stairs and tries to escape the house. She runs into the room where the vampire girl is staying, forcing Carlos to stake the girl with a broom handle. Seeing this, Juan chases Yvonne only to have her expose him to sunlight and dissolve. After Madame Von Kirst determines that the baby Yvonne is carrying is normal and the curse has been lifted, Carlos goes upstairs to tell Yvonne the good news. When he opens the door he finds that Yvonne has broken a mirror and has plunged a giant shard of it into her stomach. The End. This impossibly cheap horror film was filmed in Jacksonville, Florida by late director Robert R. Favorite (RIVERBOAT MAMA; INDIAN RAID, INDIAN MADE - both 1969). Filled with cheap 70's gore effects, garish 70's fashions, muttonchops and amateur acting, this film is a testament that anyone with a camera could make a film in the 70's and get it a release. It's hard to keep up with the story as the entire film is told in flashback and sometimes as a flashback within a flashback. This film does not have much going for it as it contains minimal nudity, a no-no for a film of this type. The ending also makes no sense as the boy in the beginning states that he is the son of Juan, who has died in the film and Yvonne kills herself and her baby in the end. Just when did Juan father this child? I could have thought of a better ending.  THE BRIDES WORE BLOOD is of interest only as a relic of a bygone age. Also known as BLOOD BRIDE. Also starring Rita Ballard, Jan Sherman and Dolores Starling. A Retromedia Entertainment DVD Release. Not Rated. The DVD is hosted by the very unfunny horror host, Son Of Ghoul.

BROTHERHOOD OF DEATH (1976) - Lower-tier blaxploitation effort about race relations, the KKK and death in a small Southern town (actually filmed in Montgomery County, Maryland). When Raymond (Roy Jefferson), his brother Junior (Haskell Anderson) and friend Ned (Le Tari) run afoul of local redneck Leroy (Ron David), they join the Army to get away from him and his KKK buddies. After serving their stint while learning jungle warfare and making a hefty profit selling smack to hooked white soldiers, they return home and to the trouble they thought they left behind. When a local black girl is raped by Leroy and two of his white friends, Raymond gets even by beating the crap out of Leroy. The black trio try to enact change in the town legally and non-violently by getting the local preacher to get all the black townspeople to register to vote, but when the townspeople show up at city hall to register, the crooked district attorney, who also heads the local KKK chapter as their "Grand Cyclops" (he wears a pink KKK robe and hood!), closes city hall down. The KKK then burn down the church, murder a local black boy who was about to attend college and kill the sheriff, the only white man in town who was fair with the blacks. The new sheriff (who shot the old one in the head after calling him a "nigger lover") begins to terrorize the black population to find out where the troublesome trio are located, but they have already kidnapped Leroy and the district attorney and are holding them in a shack in the woods. The trio don their Army fatigues and use their jungle warfare training to get even with the KKK (they even trick the KKK into killing Leroy and the D.A. by taping their mouths shut and putting black hoods on their heads!). Using guns, booby traps, poisonous snakes and landmines (even pulling a Cleavon Little in BLAZING SADDLES, where Raymond disguises himself as a KKK member to thin the ranks), the vengeful trio kill all the KKK members and make the town a safe place for all the black folks to vote and elect their own D.A. and sheriff. Don't you just love happy endings?  This cheaply-made blaxploitation flick has lots of stock footage (when the church is burned down, it's just stock footage of a house fire), bad acting and it takes forever to get moving. This film is nothing but a series of racial diatribes, as the white actors are required to say "nigger" at least one time in every line of dialogue. Director Bill Berry paints every white person (except for the sheriff) as a bigot and every black person as a good guy, which makes this whole affair hard to swallow (even during the Vietnam sequences, the only white soldier shown is a heroin addict/dealer). Add to that nothing but talk, talk, talk and too little action (the final sequence lasts less than five minutes) and what you end up with is an action film that is anything but. There is only one instance of nudity (the rape scene), several bloody bullet squibs and one throat slashing in the film's entire 77 minute running time. All that's left is plenty of racist dialogue (on both sides of the coin), lame politics (it seemed dated, even for 1976) and lots of amateur acting. I will give the film a few points for superimposing it's end credits on a real KKK recruitment billboard, though. It's the film's most imaginative moment. Too bad you have to wallow through a lot of crap to get there. It should come as no surprise that there is no on-screen screenplay credit (Who would want to take credit for this crap?), although I suspect Bill Berry is the culprit. Berry only has one other directorial credit, the 1987 comedy OFF THE MARK (a.k.a. CRAZY LEGS), but he does have extensive film credits, such as First Assistant Director on horror films like WITCHBOARD 2: THE DEVIL'S DOORWAY (1993) and CRY_WOLF (2005). A lot of the "actors" in BROTHERHOOD OF DEATH were members of the Washington Redskins football team, including Roy Jefferson, Mike Thomas, Mike Bass, Frank Grant, Larry Jones and Dennis Johnson. Ron David as Leroy is the film's best actor. He's actually convincing as the raping racist, which I find troubling. Also starring Rick Ellis, Brian Donohue and Bryan Clark as the evenhanded sheriff. Older readers may remember Mr. Clark as the spokesperson for Folger's Coffee in countless 80's TV commercials. Available on DVD from Anchor Bay Entertainment as part of a double feature, with Fred Williamson's ONE DOWN, TWO TO GO (1982). Rated R.

THE CANDY TANGERINE MAN (1975) - John Daniels (BARE KNUCKLES - 1977; FLESH EATING MOTHERS - 1989) plays The Baron, the baddest pimp on the Sunset Strip (He says to a white hooker, "Choose me and you'll have the world by the asshole!"). Two vice cops, portrayed by Richard Kennedy (as "Edward Roehm") and George 'Buck' Flower (as "C.D. LaFleuer"), try to entrapt the Baron using a male officer in drag, but the Baron grabs the officer's nuts and drives away. Baron plays a game of nine ball against competing pimp Dusty (who talks in rhyme) for ownership of new girl Heather (Feng Lan Linn). When Dusty scratches on the last ball (he calls the cue ball "a honky piece of shit"), Baron takes Heather to a bus stop, buys her a ticket home and tells her to "Find some Indian or Spic and have lots of babies". Baron may be a pimp, but he's a pimp with a conscience. He keeps his pimping a secret from his wife Clarice (Marilyn Joi, using the name "Tracy King") in the suburban neighborhood they live in with their two young kids. To them, he is known as "Ron Lewis", a loving husband and father whom they all think is an IBM salesman! Baron starts running into serious problems when Mob kingpin Vince Di Nunzio sends his goons to Baron's whorehouse, where one goon cuts off the right breast of one of his whores. All Baron's whore's go into hiding or go to work for Dusty, temporarily putting him out of business. Baron goes on the warpath and goes after all the people who are harming his business. He goes to Dusty's place and shoves the hand of the goon who cut his whore's tit off into a garbage disposal. Before he is able to get to Dusty, the two vice cops show up, but Baron gets away (Flower says, "Black bastard's got a horseshoe up his ass!"). Baron sets a plan in motion which involves $250,000 in stolen bonds, which will finally end his problems with Dusty, Di Nunzio and the vice cops. Baron gets all his enemies to congregate at a restaurant, where he bursts in, gun blazing, killing everyone (an effective slo-mo scene). He leads the two vice cops on a car chase which ends up with the cops going over a cliff. Baron takes his money and becomes "Ron Lewis" for the rest of his life.  This ultra-low-budget exploitation flick, directed by Matt Cimber (THE BLACK SIX - 1974; LADY COCOA - 1975) and "Featuring the Actual Hookere and Blades of the Sunset Strip", is a gritty little blaxploitation item with a surprising human side. We are not even aware of Baron's alter ego until a third of the way through the film and it does come as a surprise to the viewer. Baron tries hard to keep his two identities separate and there's a comical scene where his next doot neighbor sees him on the city street fully decked-out in pimp clothing and driving a $30,000 pimpmobile (complete with hidden machine guns next to the headlights), yet she doesn't even recognize him (she actually gets turned-on, while her fat female passenger says, "They all look alike to me. Let's go, I'm hungry!"). The fact that Baron is the only character who is portrayed as a semi-decent human being and everyone else is a violent bigot, spewing vitriolic, racist dialogue and killing everyone in sight. The scene near the finale, where the two vice cops are teetering over a cliff in their car (Flower screams, "I swallowed my gum!") and try to make a deal with Baron for their lives is one of the most comical and satisfying pieces of cinema I have seen in quite a while. I actually enjoyed this film and it's always nice to see the late George 'Buck' Flower get a meaty role (he's both comical and brutal, as witnessed by his rape of Heather). Matt Cimber (real name: Matteo Ottaviano, who was once married to Jayne Mansfield for a short time) used Buck in most of his 70's and 80's films and THE CANDY TANGERINE MAN is one of their best. Dig it! Also starring Tom Hankerson, Mikel Angel (a great exploitation writer/director/actor who nearly steals the show as the goon who slices off the whore's breast, has his hand removed in the garbage disposal and spends the rest of the film with an interchangeable hook on his stump!), Eli Haines, Marva Farmer, Barbara Bourbon and George Pelster. Originally released on VHS by Unicorn Video. Soon out on DVD from Subversive Cinema. Rated R.

CHEERLEADERS' WILD WEEKEND (1979) - A schoolbus containing cheerleading squads from three diverse high schools (innocent, urban and ritzy), on their way to a competition, is hijacked by a gang of criminals looking for a big ransom payday. The criminals, led by Wayne Mathews (Jason Williams of FLESH GORDON [1974] and DANGER ZONE [1986]), are all former football stars who were injured on the field. They drive the bus to an isolated house in the mountains, where the cheerleaders discover that their female chaperone, Frankie (Courtney Sands), is in on the kidnapping. George Henderson (Anthony Lewis), the violence-prone black member of the gang, tells the girls that they are now prisoners of the "National American Army Of Freedom", a ficticious revolutionary group (used to ruse the police). The NAAF demand two million dollars for the safe return of the girls and a Governor's assistant announces at a press conference, attended by the girls' worried parents, that the Governor will not pay the ransom, but they have set up a program where the parents can apply for low-interest loans to pay their share of the ransom, providing they pass a credit check! As you can imagine, this plan doesn't go over too well. Wayne keeps the police at bay by phoning in his demands and instructions for the ransom drop-off through popular DJ Joyful Jerome's (Lee Curtis) radio program. As the day progresses, George, Frankie, Billy (Robert Houston) and the slow-witted Big John Hunsacker (John Albert) decide to hold a "Beauty Contest", where they make some of the cheerleaders strip and prance around. Not surprisingly (since this is a 70's cheerleader flick), the girls begin to like it until Big John tries to rape Lisa (Ann Wharton). Frankie saves Lisa, but she then puts the moves on her in the bathroom when Frankie cleans her up. The cops demand proof that the girls are OK, so Wayne picks Debbie (the lovely Kristine DeBell) to call into the radio station. Wouldn't you know it? Wayne and Debbie hit it off. One of the girls, Afton (Janet "Janus" Blythe), unsuccessfully tries to escape (she holds George off with a chainsaw for a few moments). All of the girls put their differences aside and formulate a plan of escape. While Wayne and brother Billy are out collecting the ransom money, the girls use their bodies and cheerleading experience to get even with their captors. Using fire, cheerleading moves and a rope made from their panties (!), the girls overpower Frankie, Big John (who shoots himself in the foot) and George, throw them in the bus and drive off to the waiting police. The girls, led by Debbie, let Wayne and Billy get away with the ransom because thet are basically nice guys, after all. I think I have a tear in my eye.  This late 70's sexploitation/crime drama, directed by Jeff Werner (DIE LAUGHING - 1980), contains plenty of eye-popping nudity from a cast of genre vets. While the plot may be standard "Girls In Peril" stuff, the execution is pretty funny in spots (especially the press conference) and there is palpable tension in some of the later scenes. Although most of the violence is implied rather than shown, there's more than enough action and female flesh on view to keep even the most jaded viewer occupied. The ransom drop-off is pretty amusing, especially when one of the cops (who says, "Oh, bat shit!" a lot) describes a ransom plot he saw on a TV show a couple of months before and his partner then realizes that they have fallen for the same ruse. Wayne and Billy's final escape from the cops after getting the ransom is filmed like a football game, complete with passing, blocking, tackling and a Sousa marching tune on the soundtrack. If you don't mind a lack of violence (no one is killed), lots of naked women (and, really, who doesn't like that?) and a playful sense of humor, this lighthearted film (also known as THE GREAT AMERICAN GIRL ROBBERY and BUS 17 IS MISSING) is a good bet. Bill Osco (THE BEING - 1982), who was the Executive Producer here, also worked with star Jason Williams (who also co-scripted and Associate Produced) on FLESH GORDON. Producer Chuck Russell would later go on to direct A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: DREAM WARRIORS (1987), THE BLOB (1988) and some Hollywood blockbusters. Co-stars Janus Blythe and Robert Houston previously appeared together in THE HILLS HAVE EYES (1977) and later appear together again in it's asinine 1984 sequel. The beautiful Kristine DeBell (MEATBALLS - 1979; THE BIG BRAWL - 1980) has a smile that could melt a glacier, but she doesn't have one nude scene. Her film career was ruined when it was disclosed she appeared in a porn film (Bud Townsend's X-rated ALICE IN WONDERLAND - 1976). Too bad. The girl had talent. Also starring Marilyn Joi (billed here as "Tracy King"), Lenka Novak, Leslie King, Lachelle Price, Janie Squire, Alton Fields, Billy McVay and Andrew J. Kuehn (director of the horror compilation TERROR IN THE AISLES - 1984). A Vestron Video Release. Rated R.

THE CURIOUS DR. HUMPP (1967) - This is perhaps the weirdest, wildest and wackiest film I have ever laid my eyes on. This late 60’s obscurity is must viewing for anyone whose taste is for the odd and abnormal. Mad scientist Dr. Humpp (Aldo Barbero) kidnaps men and women, doses them up with aphrodisiacs and drains them of their blood while they are having sex. The doctor then drinks the blood to keep himself eternally young. But wait, that’s not all! Let’s not forget about the doc’s robot assistants, who were previous victims of the doctor’s botched experiments. They are now mindless deformed creatures (who resemble a scarred Zippy the Pinhead with a flashing light in the middle of the forehead!) who kidnap victims for the doctor’s sexual experiments. One robot even plays guitar to get a captive woman in the mood for sex! But wait, there’s more! The curious doc has a living disembodied brain in his laboratory that talks to him! It is the brain of Dr. Humpp’s mentor and it yells orders at Humpp at every opportunity possible. (Let’s not get into the scientific possibitities on how a disembodied brain can speak. There’s not enough space!) There is also a reporter (Ricardo Bauleo) who gets involved in the kidnapping cases only to be snatched by Dr. Humpp’s robots. He is set free by a young woman (Gloria Prat) and they must try to stop Dr. Humpp before more innocent sexual lives are lost. Much more insanity goes on in this film, but I will leave it up to you, the viewer, to experience. Needless to say, Dr. Humpp, the brain and the robots all meet a fitting end.This black and white Argentine-made film, originally titled La Venganza del Sexo ("Sexual Vengeance"), was quite daring for it’s time (and still is today), with full frontal nudity and near-pornographic sex. The nudity is frequent, even if the women have big hairy bushes and visible vericose veins! Lesbian, straight and oral sex are also featured quite often. The gore is kept to a minimum (this is 1967) but there are shots of homemade brain surgery and decapitated heads hanging in a closet. The film also contains some hilarious dialogue as when Dr. Humpp pronounces, "Sex dominates the world......and now I dominate sex!", after hooking the reporter and a girl to a sex machine. No other film in recent memory contains as much sheer lunacy as this one. Not released in the U.S. until 1970, I’m surprised it didn’t cause an uproar when screened. The Americanized version, with soft-X sex scenes added by distributor Jerald Intrator (who will get a future profile in this zine), embellishes the plot somewhat from the original film, adding the hilarious dubbed dialogue that spews out of the actors’ mouths. The added footage is easy to spot, as it was filmed with different stock and populated with American porn stars of the day (including Kim Pope). I’m also surprised that more hasn’t been written about this forgotten gem. This is a cult classic waiting to be rediscovered. Directed by  Emilio Vieyra, who also made the demented THE DEADLY ORGAN ( "Placer Sangriento" - 1967). Both are available for 20 bucks each from Something Weird Video. Buy them today! Not Rated.

CURSE OF THE ALPHA STONE (1972) - After a brief audio history on the ancient art of alchemy, this obscure early 70's exploitation flick opens up with Professor Abe Adams (Jim Scotlin) making love to his girlfriend while a piano concerto plays in the background. After some slow-motion sex, Professor Adams continues his experiments in creating the Philosopher's Stone, an object that gives it's creator untold power. He's very close to finding the secret when some of his students steal his research papers and copy them. When the Dean gets his hands on his papers, he comes up with a way to win back his uptight wife (porn star Sandy Carey), who happens to be Professor Adams' landlady. Adams creates the Philosopher's Stone (after donning some magical jewelry and chanting, "Science and mysticism can be merged!") and he uses pieces of the light-and-smoke-emitting stone to create a powder, which he mixes with wine and gives to a Black homosexual guy to drink (he thinks he's going to get high!). He ends up turning straight, steals a female mannequin and makes love to it (!) and then goes out and rapes a series of women. He goes to a psychiatrist, who hypnotises him, where we find out that he has become possessed by an eternal being called Alpha and is cured of his homosexuality (does the Christian Right know about this?). This upsets his fat White boyfriend who says, "What's the matter with you bitch? There's something queer going on around here and I'm going to find out what it is!" Meanwhile, Professor Adams cooks up another batch of powder and it's effects start affecting the occupants of the apartment house (the maid becomes so horny, smoke comes shooting out between her legs!). The whole apartment complex comes down with sex fever and the females visit Dr. Adams to have sex with him, including his landlady, who turns from dowdy to sexbomb in no time at all. It all ends rather suddenly as the Black homosexual breaks into the Professor's apartment, grabs the stone and there a huge puff of smoke. We then see the landlady walking down the street dressed in her sexy clothes. THE END (?). The outrageous storyline to this little-seen flick is almost enough to make this worthwhile viewing. Almost. There are too many loose threads when the film ends, as the Dean's plan is never explained and the students stealing the Professor's notes leads nowhere. Those two plot points are the reason why I felt cheated when it ended. So much could have been done with them. There's plentiful nudity (including a nice turn by porn star Sandy Carey as the frigid landlady) and all the women look good undressed (no silicon here, folks). The real problem is that the acting is abhorrent, the pacing slow and one-time director Stewart Malleon treats rape as a recreational activity rather than a crime (as did most porn features of this period). As a matter of fact, this film looks like a porn movie without the graphic sex. There's also very little violence, just some bleeding from the eye and a death by rape in the finale. Sometimes films are obscure for a reason. Also starring Lowell Smith, Olivia Enke and Caroline Ronchetti. Jeffrey C. Hogue plucked this out of the vaults in 1985 and released it through his Majestic International Pictures. Something Weird Video had this as a VHS release in their catalogue at one time. The print I viewed was off a DVD-R (in surprisingly good shape) from 5 Minutes To Live. Not Rated.

DARKTOWN STRUTTERS (1974) - This outlandish comedy blaxploitation film exists in some alternate universe (it's very loosely based on the Cinderella fairy tale). Syreena (Trina Parks) and her band of colorfully-dressed female bikers ride around in tricked-out three-wheeled choppers and get into a bunch of adventures. They're hassled by Marines (Syreena and her girls throw lemon meringue pies in their faces and kick them in the nuts while the USMC song plays in the background), the police (who drive around in a patrol car with the biggest flashing red light on the car's roof that you will ever see) routinely stop and frisk them for no reason at all (Dick Miller and Milt Kogan are members of the force) and Syreena is challenged to a race by scooter-riding Mellow (Roger E. Mosley) and his all-male gang of harmless retards. When Mellow loses the race, Syreena takes him back to his place for some hanky-panky (She says to Mellow, "If you ever try to rape me again, I'm gonna break everything that hangs, dangles or swings!" To which he replies, "You're the kinda woman to make a man wanna start a fight and lose!"). Syreena goes home to visit her brother Flash (Gene Simms, who is always kung-fuing his way through doors and windows, eventually the whole front of his house falls down!), where she learns that their momma Cinderella is missing. She went to work one day and never returned. It seems like a lot of important black people have gone missing lately. Could these disappearances have anything to do with Colonel Sanders-lookalike Commander Louisville Cross (Norman Bartold), "diehard barbecue millionaire" and founder of the Cross Foundation, who says in a speech to black reporters, "I intend to see that those who gave it to me, get it back!" ? Syreena goes undercover as a cop to investigate her mother's disappearance and learns that several prominent black males are also missing. Syreena learns (from someone dressed like Aunt Jemima!) that her mother was running an abortion clinic before she went missing. Syreena is then captured by the KKK and brought to Commander Cross' mansion, where she is forced to watch a minstrel show (Where she has to listen to cringe-worthy jokes as: "What's the first half of a word that comes out of every black baby's mouth? Mother...!") and Cross shows her his cloning operation. Cross is attempting to clone all the black leaders he has kidnapped and use the clones to further his political career. Syreena finds her Mom in Cross' dungeon, learns the whole truth and escapes (forgetting to set her mother free!). With the rallying call "The Klan is coming! The Klan is coming!", Syreena gathers all her friends to defeat Cross' dastardly plan.  You got to love a film that opens up with the following on-screen statement: " Any similarity between this true life adventure and the story Cinderella...is BULLSHIT! "  Filled with too many visual and audio gags to catch in one viewing, you'll have to watch this at least three times to take it all in. For a film that is rated PG, this film contains many jokes that would be found offensive today (if Al Sharpton ever finds out this was directed and written by white men, he would surely lead a boycott to remove this film from circulation), from a tasteless hanging gag in a jailhouse; the cops' "Nigger Alarm" that sounds off every time a black person is near; a white police inspector (Charles Woolf) who goes undercover in blackface, dressed as a woman, only to be shot by his own men, who mistaken him for a black intruder (!); and the KKK show up riding motorcycles with huge wooden crosses attached to their seats. That's not to say that the white people in this film get off any easier. The all-white police force are nothing but a bunch of buffoons (Dick Miller even handcuffs a black person's dog!) and one member, Tubbins (Charles Knapp), is so fat, he gets stuck in every doorway he walks through. The script, by George Armitage (who directed HIT MAN - 1972; VIGILANTE FORCE - 1976 and MIAMI BLUES - 1990, among others), is all over the place, but it's such an equal-opportunity offender, there's no way anyone could take offense with this. Directed by TV and film veteran William Witney (MASTER OF THE WORLD - 1961; I ESCAPED FROM DEVIL'S ISLAND - 1973) as some very colorful fractured fairy tale (the costumes, as well as most of the sets, use every bright color known to man). It really makes no sense, but it's funny as hell and visually appealing. There's some great motorcycle stunts (look for the sign for "Awful Knawful: The Fatal Motorcyclist"), a hang-gliding gag involving one KKK member's sheet and a Keystone Cops car crash where the car just falls to pieces. Not to mention some great musical numbers, including a rendition of "What You See Is What You Get" by The Dramatics as prisoners in Cross' dungeon. Cloning was a hot topic at the time this film was made. Produced by Gene Corman for his brother Roger's New World Pictures. Also starring Shirley Washington, Bettye Sweet, Stan Shaw, Frankie Crocker, Sam Laws, DeWayne Jessie and Edna Richardson. Released to TV under the title GET DOWN AND BOOGIE.  Originally released on VHS by Charter Entertainment. Available on a two-film DVD from Eastwest Entertainment along with BLACK FIST (1975). Rated PG. "Pancakes!"

A DAY OF JUDGMENT (1981) - God sends the Grim Reaper to a small southern town to exact revenge on the people who have broken The Ten Commandments in producer Earl Owensby's regionally filmed religious allegory set in the 1930's. The town priest resigns his post because his sermons only draw three old ladies to the church. (They show up at various times in the story to introduce the characters.) Every one of these people deserve their fate: The town drunk who blames everyone but himself when his wife leaves him and he loses his job; The obese banker who enjoys foreclosing on loans; The shopkeeper's wife who is having an affair with one of the clerks; The son who commits his parents to the county home so he can sell their gas station and home and move out of town; The bitchy old widow who poisons a child's goat because it got in her prized flower bed. The widow is pulled underground by bodyless arms in her flower bed as the pit goes ablaze. The son goes crazy after seeing the Reaper and is committed to the State Asylum. The banker is locked in an icehouse (Talk about freezing your assets!) and is dispatched by the glowing red-eyed scythe carrier. The shopkeeper's wife and clerk kill her husband and are burned to death when lightning strikes the house. The drunk is beheaded by Grimmie after he shoots his wife and ex-boss. At the end the Reaper gathers all his victims together and shows them what is in store for them: A burning eternity in Hell. Then they all wake up in their beds and realize it was just a dream. They all change their ways and that Sunday the new priest plays to a full house. His sermon: "Ye are what ye shall reap." Although unrated this film contains no nudity and very little blood except for a brief shot of a decapitation. Decently acted, especially for an Owensby production. Maybe that is because Owensby decided to stay behind the cameras this time. He is pretty awful as an actor, as can be seen in his films DEATH DRIVER (1977), WOLFMAN (1979) and  DOGS OF HELL (aka ROTTWEILER - 1982). Believe it or not, his films were very popular at drive-ins and theaters along the Bible Belt. Taste has no bounds. The only way us Yankees can see his films is the video route, thank God. I would have hated to shell out seven bucks at a bijou to see his stuff. Directed by C.D.H. Reynolds (OFFERINGS - 1989, as Christopher Reynolds) and starring William T. Hicks, Harris Bloodworth, Brownlee Davis and Toby Wallace. A Thorn EMI Video Release. Unrated.

DEADLY DAPHNE'S REVENGE (1980) - What a total heap of stinking trash. This lousy rape/revenge exploitation flick is about four men who pick up hitch-hiker Cindy (Laurie Tait Partridge) in their RV. They stop at a secluded hunting lodge where Charlie, the raving racist of the group, rapes her. After the rape she runs into the woods and the four men continue on their trip.  Cindy goes to the D.A. to bring a case against Charlie, but he convinces her to file charges against all four men. All four are arrested on rape charges and released on bail. The three innocent men slowly see their reputations and businesses go down the crapper thanks to the false charges and Bruce (the nerd of the bunch) commits suicide after his wife files for divorce and he loses a huge insurance contract. Steve (who is Charlie's half-brother) loses his coaching job at his school. The final man, Bobo, works at Charlie's business and does whatever Charlie says, even though his wife leaves him and won't let him see his kids. Charlie hires some Mob muscle to kill Cindy, not knowing that Cindy has dropped her suit (she feels guilty about Bruce's suicide and actually likes Steve). Charlie's lawyer tells him that if anything happens to Cindy, the police will know it was him, so he tries to stop the hit but is told by the Mob that it's too late to call it off. Charlie talks Steve into taking Cindy back to the hunting lodge to hide out until he can find the hit man and call it off, but an escaped female mental patient from Charlie's past (the Daphne in the title) manages to throw a monkey wrench into the proceedings. Piss-poor on every level, this film (also known as BACKLASH and THE HUNTING SEASON) tries to portray our justice system as a flawed mess (which it is) and the people who hold the power as vindictive (which they are), but does it in such a half-assed manner that all you can do is shake your head in disbelief. The film looks like it was edited by someone with ADS as it jumps from scene-to-scene in mid-sentence and various shots fail to match in the same scene. Charlie is such a raving racist (isn't it interesting that "racist" and "rapist" only differ by one letter?), spouting rants about Jews, Blacks, Polish and the Spanish (he even shoots a helpless dog!), that it's hard to believe he's the owner of a successful business and the most powerful person in this film. One-time director Richard Gardner, who also portrays on of the four men, gives this film a 70's TV movie look. If it weren't for the nudity on view in the beginning and some foul language, it could very well pass for one. A bad one. Leave it to Troma to dig up some obscure piece of crap, retitle it and try to pass it off as something new and exciting. It's their specialty. Don't fall for it. Troma lists this as a 1987 production, but by the looks of the hair styles, clothing and automobiles, it had to have been made at least several years earlier. Also starring Anthony Holt, John Suttle, Alan Levy and a rail-thin James Avery in an early role. A Troma Team Release. Distributed by BCI on DVD as part of TOXIE'S TRIPLE TERROR VOL. 1 three-film set. Rated R.

THE DEATHHEAD VIRGIN (1972) - Underwater treasure hunter Jock Gaynor  discovers a sunken ship loaded with pearls and accidently unleashes the title creature, a siren with a beautiful body and a skull-like face, in this not uninteresting Filipino production. It seems the old gal has been chained beneath the sea since 1850 and when Jock removes an amulet from around her black-tressed skeleton she returns to life. Jock wears the amulet, against his native helper's protest. Soon he begins to lose track of time and pieces of his memory, as well as obtaining the annoying habit of scalping the female Filipino population as a token sacrifice to the coyote-ugly bitch. The local legend states that once the Deathhead Virgin is revived, seven virgins must be ritually sacrificed to appease her for wrongs done to her in the previous century. Jock has been appointed to carry out the deed. Jock's friend and business partner, Larry (Larry Ward), arrives on the island and after some pleasantries (getting drunk, sharing the same woman and playing hot-potato with a lit stick of dynamite!), begins to notice that Jock is not himself. After witnessing (and stopping) Jock's attempted scalping of a woman, Larry chases him back to the shipwreck where Jock drowns and Larry captures the siren and chains her back up. The next day the skeletons of Jock and Larry are found on their drifting boat.This is only the first hour of the film and is told in flashback to Jock's wife (Diane McBain) by police inspector Vic Diaz (VAMPIRE HOOKERS [aka SENSUOUS VAMPIRES] and countless other Filipino films). Wifey is also on the island for other reasons, which will not be divulged here. Rent the film to find out. For once, the Filipino actors do not slaughter the English language which makes this a cut above most Philippine-made horror movies. It was also produced by the two leads. Jock's brother, Ward, wrote the screenplay. Not released theatrically in the U.S. Directed by Norman Foster (MR. MOTO'S LAST WARNING - 1939; JOURNEY INTO FEAR - 1942). Video label unavailable. Rated R.

DEATH OF A HOOKER (1971) - Back in the 70's, a PG rating didn't automatically mean family-friendly fare (like it does today). Sometimes a PG rating meant that you could make gritty little adult films like this. This is actually a retitled version of the seldom-seen WHO KILLED MARY WHAT'S 'ER NAME?, a likable mystery with a winning performance by the late Red Buttons. Buttons portrays Mickey, a wise-cracking diabetic ex-boxer, who for some reason takes an interest in the murder of a prostitute named Mary Di Napoli. He rents Mary's run-down NYC motel room and begins an investigation into her death. People don't take too kindly to his questions. He asks apartment dweller Malthus (Dick Anthony Williams) if he knows who killed Mary and he says, "Sin. Just like most people." Mickey saves aging prostitute Christine (Sylvia Miles) from two goons who rob her and begins a plutonic relationship with her, which she wishes was more (He says to her, "You don't want me. I'm a eunich."), but also helps him track down Alex (a young Sam Waterston), a photographer who is doing a documentary on prostitutes. Mickey's daughter Della (Alex Playten) and old friend Val (Conrad Bain) also help Mickey in tracking down Mary's killer. Things turn deadly as the film Alex was shooting may have something to do with Mary's death and people who Mickey knows end up dead in the process, while Della and Alex begin a romantic relationship. What does bigwig stock-broker Boulting (David Doyle) have to do with Mary's death? As Mickey investigate further, we begin to understand why Mickey is so interested in Mary's death. Director Ernest Pintoff (here credited as "Ernie Pintoff"), who directed a lot of episodic TV in the 70's and 80's, as well as films such as BLADE (1972) and JAGUAR LIVES (1979), gives us a good sense of what is must of been like to live in New York City's Times Square during the 70's, as the atmosphere is dirty, grimy and, mostly, unpleasant. Red Button is a marvel here, playing a tough man with a debilitating disease, who loves his daughter and is relentless in his pursuits. There are also appearances by the late Ron Carey and Jake LaMotta as bartenders. This is a tight little mystery of a bygone era when New York was full of working girls, the cops didn't care and crime ran rampant. The only difference today is that it's cleaner. Search this one out. A Video Gems Release. Video Gems released it under this title as well as it's original title (maybe to get renters to double-dip). Rated PG.

DELINQUENT SCHOOLGIRLS (1974) - Crazy exploitation film where three loony inmates escape from the state mental asylum for the criminally insane and invade the Oxford Corrective Institute for Young Women, where the girls are crazier than the escapees. The stern principal of the institute, Dr. Baxter (John Alderman), is making a dozen girls stay at the institute during the holiday vacation as punishment, as most of them are sex-crazy nymphets who get into trouble at the drop of a bra. Before the insane trio hit the institute, they invade the home of impotent farmer Earl (the late George 'Buck' Flower, sporting a funny pair of false teeth) and his nympho wife Ellie (Julie Gant). Carl (Michael Pataki) is the leader of the trio and a celebrity impersonator/rapist. He and Bruce (Stephen Stucker), a homosexual deviant, entertain Earl by playing songs on the piano and getting him drunk, while burly Dick Peters (Bob Minor, in a rare leading role) rapes the willing Ellie. The nutso trio then go to the institute, where they raid the kitchen and rape a couple of female cooks (they end up to be willing, of course). After imprisoning the two girls in a freezer (with an ingenious timelock made of ice blocks), the trio explore the school, where they find an elderly teacher (and his snakes) about to have sex with a hypnotized student (Dick ends up with the snakes dumped on him by the teacher before he has a heart attack), two pot-smoking girls at the pool who get Carl and Dick stoned (and Carl nearly drowns) and Dick is is attacked by by two girls playing croquet. Carl, as punishment, makes the two girls slap and punch each other until one is unconscious. They then go to the gymnasium, where a karate class is taking place. Carl makes all the girls dance like the Rockettes and Dick gets beat up again, this time by Greta (porn vet Sharon Kelly), when he tries to take her panties off. Dick and Carl then get the shit kicked out of them by the girls, while Bruce is manhandled (and liking it) by the male karate instructor. The police arrive and cart the trio away and they are glad to be going back to the safety of the asylum (I prefer to disregard the tacky end scrawl that states they escaped from police custody and are now at large). Director Gregory Corarito (WANDA, THE SADISTIC HYPNOTIST - 1969) fills the screen with so many shots of naked female flesh (including the legendary slow-motion shot of Roberta Pedon's breasts breaking free of her skimpy shirt while doing jumping jacks), you almost forget how ridiculous the entire film really is. The screenplay (by Corarito, producer Maurice Smith and executive producer John Lamb) seems to be implying that the three escapees may not be the worst people in this film. They may be crazy, but at least they have an excuse. There's the elderly male teacher (Ralph Campbell) who hypnotizes a student so he can have sex with her; Dr. Baxter, who pretends to be a prude, but is actually having an affair with one of the teachers and has daydreams of the girls naked; some good samaritans in a van, who pick up one of the girls escaping the trio, only to have them turn out to be rapists; and the girls themselves, who revel in sex and drugs. In the end, it's the crazy trio who end up being the worse for wear. They commit no violence (even though Carl threatens violence, but seems incapable of committing it) but, instead, take the brunt of the punishment from the girls. Genre vet Michael Pataki (GRAVE OF THE VAMPIRE - 1972) overacts shamelessly, as he imitates Richard Burton, W.C. Fields, Richard Nixon and countless other celebrities while he mugs wildly for the camera. Stephen Stucker (AIRPLANE - 1980) does nothing but act gay (as he was in real life, before passing away from AIDS in 1986) and Bob Minor (who is an excellent stuntman and character actor, appearing in over 200 films since 1970) sets Blacks back fifty years as a muscular rapist who doesn't see a white woman he doesn't want to fuck. The violence in this film is miniscule (mainly consisting of Dick getting beat up) and there's no blood at all, just plenty of tits and ass (but no bush). This is definitely a product of the sleazy 70's, where rape is considered a joke and there are absolutely no consequences for committing it. A real curio. A lot of reviewers seem to think that this film is a mean-spirited misogynist's dream, which make me wonder if they really watched it at all. Also known as CARNAL MADNESS and BAD GIRLS. Also starring Brenda Miller, Jane Steele, Zoe Grant, Kay Lange and Debbie Raymond. A Vestron Video Release. Rated R.

DEMENTED DEATH FARM MASSACRE (1971/1986) - Leave it to Fred Olen Ray. He's taken an early 70's regional sexploitation film, titled HONEY BRITCHES (available from Something Weird), directed by noted film huckster Donn Davison (SHE FREAK - 1967), slapped less than three minutes of footage of a feeble-looking John Carradine (playing the "Judge of Hell") spouting biblical quotes written on cue cards (he even blows a line!) throughout the film and has the nerve to take co-directing and co-producing credit! The story is this: Four thieves (two men, two women) escape the city after just pulling a big diamond heist. When their jeep runs out of gas in the middle of nowhere, they travel by foot through the backwoods until they come upon the shack of moonshiner Harlan (George Ellis of DEMON HUNTER - 1965) and his new young wife Reba Sue (Ashley Brookes). It's not long before a clash of cultures ensues, which have deadly consequences. It's hard to figure out who is worse here: Harlan, who spouts scripture, accuses his wife of being a whore (yet is incapable of making love to her) but has no problem ogling the two city women or the town's Black whore while drinking himself into a blind stupor; or Kirk, the thief who watches Reba Sue undress and has no problem smacking women around and raping them (although Reba Sue ends up liking it) to satisfy his urges. With their cover blown (thanks to a radio broadcast), the thieves take Harlan, Reba Sue and retarded helper Toby hostage and a series of unfortunate events happen (including the death of one of the female thieves) which culminates in Harlan getting some bloody revenge, which includes some pitchfork, bear trap and gun violence. This slice of early 70's hillbilly cinema (which also includes such films as PIGKEEPER'S DAUGHTER and COUNTRY CUZZINS) is poorly acted but is highly watchable thanks to the frequent female flesh and some off-the-wall one-liners ("Is that a real gun?" "Well, it isn't an ice cream cone!"). The frequent interruptions by Carradine and new library music tracks (not to mention the new title sequence) inserted by Fred Olen Ray are a real distraction and add nothing to the film. The fact that nothing much happens until the last twenty minutes of the film's 83 minute running time may tax some viewer's patience, but if you view this as the Southern exploitation rarity that it is, you'll have some fun with it. Also starring Trudy Moore, Mike Coolik, Jim Peck and Pepper Thurston (she's one tall drink of water!). Also known as MOONSHINER'S WOMEN and SHANTYTOWN HONEYMOON. A Troma Team Release distributed on DVD by BCI as part of TOXIE'S TRIPLE TERROR VOL. 1. Rated R.

THE DIRTIEST GAME IN THE WORLD (1970) - In this counterculture sexploitation film with a political agenda, party bigwig R.J. (Coleman Francis) sends strait-laced political candidate Titus Moore (Titus Moody) out to get the "hippie vote". R.J. believes that in order to win the election (he's running for State Representative, although documentary footage of the 1968 Democratic Presidential convention is shown in the opening minutes) Titus must infiltrate "these pot users and LSD smokers and suck them over on our side". Complicating matters is Titus' drunken shrew of a wife, Felicia (Sheryl Powell), who puts him down every chance she gets ("You're not man enough to do anything!"). Titus tells Felicia that when this election is over, their marriage is over, too (This is after she strips naked and drunkenly makes love to Titus, who also strips naked to reveal the hairiest ass I have ever seen!). Titus and assistant Frank (Frank Millen) go to the "Citizens Committee To Legalize Marijuana" to start his undercover campaign. A pot-smoking hippie named Bruce (Bruce Beard) puts them in touch with hippie chick Jean (Jean Stone, who we first see dancing naked to an organ-heavy tune), who pulls a joint out of her snatch and offers it to Titus and Frank. Frank declines, but Titus takes a deep hit and the next scene shows Titus and Jean naked (Frank is gone), while Titus eats jam and peanut butter out of her pussy. Jean then straps on a dildo and fucks Titus in the ass, while a poster of W.C. Fields looks on approvingly! When Titus reports back to R.J., it's apparent that he is taking kindly to the hippie lifestyle. Titus makes it clear again to Felicia that he is leaving her, so she tries to shoot him with a pistol, but misses. Titus rapes her while choking her with his belt. Frank, who has feeling for Felicia, tries to get R.J. to call off the hippie infiltration, but he refuses. Titus (who now smokes pot every chance he gets) enjoys his new life with Jean and they screw every chance they get. Frank puts the moves on Felicia (we see her a few moments before, masturbating in the kitchen, using the corner of a counter and the refrigerator door as sex toys!) and Titus catches them having sex in the bedroom, but he doesn't care! A perturbed Felicia confronts Jean but, instead of fighting, they become lesbian lovers (They make love in the middle of an oil field as the pumps chug up and down!). Jean, being a hippie, dumps Felicia after she is done with her, so Felicia follows her to an orgy, where she spots her husband fucking a multitude of women. Later on, Felicia (dressed in bondage gear and carrying a whip) joins in on the orgy and goes crazy, stabbing Bruce with a dagger. The orgy-goers (including Titus) hold her down while Jean rapes her with a strap-on (the same strap-on she used to fuck Titus in the ass). Felicia runs to the bathroom, mutilates herself with a razor and then commits suicide by sticking a pistol up her vagina and pulling the trigger! After witnessing Felicia's suicide, Frank grabs the gun and begins shooting-up the orgy, killing Titus and them himself. The final scene shows R.J. introducing his latest candidate to run for State Representative: Jean!  This is the first feature film from director James Bryan, who also gave us ESCAPE TO PASSION (1970), BOOGIEVISION (1977), LADY STREET FIGHTER (1978), DON'T GO IN THE WOODS (1982; his best-known film), THE EXECUTIONER PART II (1983) and HELL RIDERS (1984). As you can see, Bryan can't be accused of churning out quality entertainment, but THE DIRTIEST GAME IN THE WORLD, for all it's inherent flaws, including atrocious acting (Titus Moody is horrible, as is nearly everyone else), chainsaw editing, camera noises and bad sound, is still a hypnotic experience. Though not a hardcore flick, it still goes way beyond the boundaries of an R rating (it would get an NC-17 if rated today) and the final few minutes are truly unexpectedly shocking and must be seen to be appreciated. Anyone who says they saw this coming is a big fucking liar! The self-mutilation/suicide sequence is very hard to watch and is as bloody as anything H.G. Lewis was doing at the time. I have to wonder how audiences handled this sequence in theaters, going in expecting a nudity-filled sexploitationer and then viewing a woman slicing into her sexual organs with a razor blade (I'm sure walt Davis' SEX PSYCHO [1971] had the same effect). This barely feature length (a little over 64 minutes) little-seen film was briefly released on VHS during the early 90's, when Titus Moody (who died in 2001) and James Bryan joined together and released a few of Moody's rare 60's & 70's, which also included OUTLAW MOTORCYCLES (1966) and THE LAST AMERICAN HOBO (1967). During his time away from "legitimate" films during the 70's & 80's, Bryan directed hardcore porn features using the pseudonym "Morris Deal" (HIGH SCHOOL FANTASIES - 1974; TEENAGE THROAT - 1974). The only recognizable actor (besides Moody) is Coleman Francis as R.J., who starred in Russ Meyer's MOTOR PSYCHO (1965), Ray Dennis Steckler's BODY FEVER (1969) and directed the notorious badfilms THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS (1961), THE SKYDIVERS (1963) and RED ZONE CUBA (1966). If you ever get lucky and find a copy of THE DIRTIEST GAME IN TOWN, grab it and thank your lucky stars. A Strange Video Release. Rated X.

ECSTASY INC. (1980) - Professor Rasputin (Gabriel River) and Dr. Christina (Christina Anderss) run a popular sex clinic in Paris. When they are not curing couples of their sexual problems, the Professor cruises the streets in his sports car and picks up female hitchhikers. He brings them home so he and Christina can rape and kill them. The newspapers label them the "Hitchhiker Killers" and the police are clueless. Everything goes fine until Christina falls in love with a patient; an artist who is having an affair with the married (and insatiable) Countess Marina (Marina Delestra), a frequent visitor to the clinic who has worn out seven husbands with her sexual appetites. Christina begs the Professor to stop the killings, but he enjoys it too much. In the end, the Countess Marina's husband (Chris Regan) shoots the Countess because she caught him stealing her jewels and Christina runs a sword through the Professor to stop his killings and so she can be with her artist love. This unrated soft core Stockholm-made production boasts plenty of nudity and simulated sex but is highly repetitious. A scene of a couple in the clinic is always followed by a scene of the Professor cruising for hitchhikers. No reason is given for the Professor's love of strangling his victims. The violence is implied rather than shown. The only good thing I have to say about this dubbed film is at least the women don't have hairy armpits. It may be fashionable in Europe, but this American boy finds it a complete turn-off. Director Andrew Whyte (real name: Andrei Feher) also made other sex films in Sweden, including SWEDISH LOVE STORY (1977), CRAZY SWEDISH HOLIDAYS IN PARIS (1980), WORLD SEX FESTIVAL (aka THE PORNO RACE - 1985) and DREAMS OF LOVE (1985). ECSTASY INC. (aka SWEDISH SEX CLINIC) is a soft core sex film better left behind. A Private Screenings Video Release. Not Rated.

THE ELECTRIC CHAIR (1975) - Who killed the Reverend Samuel Moss (Barry Bell) and girlfriend Marilyn Howard (Katherine Cortez)? When a necking couple find their bodies lying in a field shot to death with Marilyn's throat also cut and tongue ripped out, the film flashes back to the beginning of the mess. Marilyn lives in a filthy house with Jess (Kenneth G. Sigmon), her fat slob of a husband who sits on the couch all day drinking beer and watching TV. The Reverend Moss has Clair (Nita Patterson), his shrew of a wife who refuses to make love to him, saying it's filthy and disgusting. When the Reverend and Marilyn meet at church, they fall in love and start an affair. Cut to the present again, as the police interrogate the suspects: Clair ("That filthy bitch" is all she has to say about Marilyn); Moses Cooper, a religious fanatic ("Sins should not go unpunished"); Jess ("The Reverend was a fine man") and; Billy