


HARRY NOVAK PROFILE
Being
in my early 40's now, the name Harry Novak and Boxoffice
International Pictures brings back some fond, if distant memories.
Being a horny teenager in the late 60's and early 70's, going to one
of Novak's films meant getting what you wanted: Plenty of tit and ass
action, sometimes mixed with gunplay and
violence. I have always considered Novak as some distant uncle that
the family never talked about, mainly because the types of films he
released were considered risque for their day. Many of Novak's films
(with titles such as COUNTRY
HOOKER,
THE
TOY BOX
and MASSAGE
PARLOR WIFE)
have been unavailable to the viewing public for over twenty years.
That is, until now. Mike Vraney of Something
Weird Video
has released Novak's adult sexploitation films on video, and many are
transferred directly from Novak's own personal prints. But before I
get ahead of myself, let me supply a little background information on
Mr. Novak. Harry H. Novak was born in the late 1920's (exact date
unknown) Chicago. When in his teens, Novak got a job with RKO
Pictures distributing movie posters and pressbooks to theaters. After
serving a stint in the Army during World War II, he took a job in Los
Angeles with RKO booking and selling films as well as designing ads
(this would explain why his Boxoffice ads were so effective) with
branch manager Seymour Borde (who would later form his own
distribution company). When RKO folded in 1957, Novak went to work
booking exploitation films for Seymour Borde's JEM distribution
company. After an argument with Borde (in which Novak was fired),
Novak formed his own production and distribution company in 1964,
calling it Boxoffice International Pictures, naming it after the
respected industry magazine Boxoffice. His first release for the
newly-formed company was DR.
BREEDLOVE, OR HOW I STOPPED WORRYING
(later changed to KISS
ME QUICK
to avoid a lawsuit with Stanley
Kubrick's
DR.
STRANGELOVE)
and it was such a hit that it immediately put Boxoffice on the map.
This daring for its' time feature was an unusually well-made quickie
(directed by former Borde employee Peter Perry using the comical
pseudonym "Seymour Tuchas" and photographed by a then
unknown Laszlo Kovacs) got plenty of free publicity thanks to a
Playboy pictorial displaying plenty of female flesh. With his first
film release, Harry Novak's Boxoffice International Pictures became a
major independent distributor. The rest is history. To keep up with
the public's lusty demand, Novak began production on new sex films (THE
AGONY OF LOVE
- 1965) as well as purchasing back-dated nudies (THE
RUINED BRUIN
- 1961, QUEEN'S
WILD -
1963) and new pick-ups (MONDO
KEYHOLE
- 1966, FLESH
AND LACE
- 1966). The audiences ate these pictures up, making Novak a rich
man. What made Novak's films so profitable when other producers of
nudie films were losing money (with the exception of David F.
Friedman)? Novak surrounded himself with talented people. Novak was
(and is) a great showman and publicist, but even he knew that there
would have to be talented people behind and in front of the camera if
a low budget film was to be successful. Directors such as William
Rotsler (MANTIS
IN LACE -
1968,
SUBURBAN
PAGANS
- 1969, THE GODSON - 1971), John
Hayes (THE
HANG-UP
- 1969, SWEET
TRASH -
1970), Don Davis (THE
MUTHERS
- 1968, THE
GOLDEN BOX -
1970), Carl Monson (PLEASE
DON'T EAT MY MOTHER
- 1973 [aka SEX POT SWINGERS],
THE
TAKERS -
1971), Lou Campa (COOL
IT, BABY -
1967, MINI-SKIRT
LOVE
- 1967) and Bethel Buckalew (SOUTHERN
COMFORTS
- 1971, SASSY
SUE
- 1972) not only honed their craft working for Novak, they actually
turned in some well-made, entertaining pieces of low-priced
exploitation. Sexploitation actresses such as Pat Barrington, Susan
Stewart, Rene Bond, Sharon Kelly, Marsha Jordan, Erika Gavin and
Uschi Digart were Boxoffice staples. They were not only pleasant to
look at (both clothed and naked), they also could act. Novak knew the
public's fondness for filmic flesh, but he also knew the stigma bad
acting could bring to a film. Therefore, more times than not, he
populated his films with little-known (at least to main-stream
audiences), but talented, actors and actresses. Novak's films also
tackled some touchy subjects which were considered taboo for their
time. TOYS
ARE NOT FOR CHILDREN
(1971) was an incestuous tale about a young girl and her father. JUST
THE TWO OF US
(1973) was a sordid story of lesbianism. MANTIS
IN LACE
(1968)
was about a LSD-taking girl who slaughters the men she sleeps with
(an even gorier version of MANTIS,
titled LILA,
was also released to theaters). MONDO
KEYHOLE
dealt with the lovely theme of rape. The success of these low
budgeters paved the way for major studios to make their own versions
with similar themes. (I may be reaching a little bit, but the
boxoffice hit BASIC
INSTINCT
bears
more than a passing resemblance to MANTIS.)
As I have said before, Novak was a master showman and publicist. He
was able to bypass the MPAA ratings system and still get his films
shown in theaters and advertised in newspapers that would otherwise
not accept films without a rating. For films he knew would get an
X-rating (such as Gary Graver's ERIKA'S
HOT SUMMER
- 1970 or Vidal Raski's THE
SINFUL DWARF -
1974), Novak would put an "Admission Restricted" tag on
the ads, thereby fooling theater owners and newspapers into believing
they were accepting R-rated fare. Novak also bought the domestic
rights to some unusual foreign horror films. They include: Jean
Rollin's CAGED
VIRGINS
(1972), the Italian Victor
Buono-starrer THE
MAD BUTCHER
(1972) and the ultra-weird FRANKENSTEIN'S
CASTLE OF FREAKS
(1973). Though known mainly for soft core sex films with some
violence, Boxoffice did release a handful of U.S.-made horror films.
The infamous I
DRINK YOUR BLOOD
(1971) was one of Novak's early horror pick-ups. RATTLERS
(1975) was about a Texas town overrun with poisonous snakes. 1976
also saw the release of the living dead film THE
CHILD,
perhaps Novak's best horror release. AXE
(1974) and KIDNAPPED
CO-ED
(1975), both directed by Frederick Friedel, followed next. HITCH
HIKE TO HELL
(1977) was Boxoffice International's last domestic release. Due to
some unknown legal problems, Novak was forced to close down Boxoffice
International in 1978. He then formed Valiant International Pictures,
releasing mainly hardcore adult films with such titles as SISSY'S
HOT SUMMER
(1979-starring John Holmes), SWEET
SURRENDER
(1980) and LEATHER
PERSUASION
(1980). The last known film that Novak was directly involved with was MOMENTS
OF LOVE
(1982), which he co-directed with Joe Sherman using the pseudonym
"H. Hershey". Thanks to home video (and especially Mike
Vraney) we can all enjoy Novak's Boxoffice International output. To
find out what films Mike Vraney has to offer, send $5.00 for a
complete catalog to: Something
Weird Video
Catalog Dept. F.U.N. P.O. Box 33664 Seattle,
WA 98133. It's jam-packed with titles you've probably
never heard of, including an extensive Dave Friedman collection.
BOXOFFICE INTERNATIONAL REVIEWS
AXE
(1974) - Teenage
Lisa (Leslie Lee) is a quiet girl who takes care of her disabled,
near-catatonic grandfather at their remote house in the country. When
three psychotic crooks (Jack Canon, Ray Green and director/writer
Frederick R. Friedel) invade their home looking for a place to hide
out, little do they realize that little Lisa is actually a pent-up
virgin psychopath just looking for a reaso
n
to slaughter anyone who crosses her. When Green tries to rape her.
she slashes his neck with a straight razor and stuffs his body in a
trunk. She then has unwitting help from Friedel (the sensitive one of
the trio), who helps her lug the trunk to the attic. When Canon tries
to rape her in front of her grandfather, she grabs an axe (really a
hatchet, but that's splitting hairs) and hacks him to death, stuffing
him up the chimney. She then offers Friedel some tomato soup and
after he finds Canon's ring in the soup, he discovers Lisa's true
nature and runs out of the house only to be shot to death by the
police, who are waiting outside thanks to Lisa's timely call. While
this film logs in at a compact 68 minutes (10 minutes of its running
time is taken up by the slowest opening and closing credits that I
can ever remember), this is a slow moving affair that seems twice as
long. The first 25 minutes are taken up by the escapades of the
psychotic trio, who are seen beating to death a man in a hotel room,
throwing another man out a window and terrorizing a woman at a
supermarket. There's not much to recommend here. There's too much
dizzying hand-held camera work, bad two-note piano music and not
enough blood to qualify it as a must for gore hounds. Director
Friedel would later direct the much-better KIDNAPPED
CO-ED (1975) and then wait another 25 years before he would
direct his next film, the comedy MY NEXT FUNERAL (2000). Lead
actor Jack Canon would later appear in Stephen King's MAXIMUM
OVERDRIVE (1986) and WEEKEND
AT BERNIE'S
(1989). The producer of this film is none other than J.G.
"Pat" Patterson, Jr, director of such lowdown fare such as THE
BODY SHOP (1973; a.k.a. DOCTOR
GORE) and THE
ELECTRIC CHAIR (1975). AXE is also known as THE
CALIFORNIA AXE MASSACRE, LISA, LISA,
and THE VIRGIN SLAUGHTER.
Availabe on VHS and DVD from Something
Weird Video. If you must choose, grab the DVD as it contains
many extra features, including a bonus feature: Patterson's THE
ELECTRIC CHAIR! All DVD's should have this many extras. Rated R.
THE
CHILD (1977) - Lis
(Laurel Barnett) is hired to be a governess for young Rosalie Nordon
(Rosalie Cole). On her way to the Nordon house, Lis' car is purposely
run off the road and she must take a shortcut through the forest by
foot. On her way she meets Mrs. Whitfield (Ruth Ballan), who warns
Lis not to walk the woods at night because animals have been found
mutilated. Once at the Nordon house, Lis meets Mr. Nordon (Frank
Janson), who greets her with, "I hope you're not a nervous
woman." Mr. Nordon is recently
widowed, his wife supposedly killed while being robbed, and wants his
daughter Rosalie to have a woman figure around the house. Mr. Nordon
is also a little strange. His dinner conversation consists of telling
a story about a pack of Boy Scouts who died in the woods after eating
a stew they made from a poisonous flower, while Rosalie giggles
incessantly. Rosalie is even stranger than her dad. She has the power
to raise the dead (she reanimates the corpses from the cemetery
located next to the house) and uses the zombies to destroy the people
that bother her. She starts with Mrs. Whitfield (she has an eye
ripped out) and pretty soon this demented little girl (who blames
everyone for her mother's death) has her living dead friends
attacking her father, eventually going after Lis and Len (Richard
Hanners), Rosalie's normal brother. Lis and Len become trapped in a
shed with the horde of zombies outside waiting to kill them. The
zombies storm the shed, killing Len (but not before he takes a few of
them with him). Lis plants an axe in Rosalie's head, finally ending
the undead rampage. This low budget NIGHT
OF THE LIVING DEAD
clone, also available on tape as KILL
AND GO HIDE
(from Monterey Home Video)
and ZOMBIE
CHILD,
lacks technical polish and acting ability but contains enough
atmosphere and gore to satisfy fans of zombie films. The ending is
particularly meaty, with zombies being impaled, shotgunned and hit in
the head with an axe repeatedly. Director Robert Voskanian infuses
this film with a lot of atmosphere and terror, making it a good bet
for horror fans. This was one of Harry Novak's later releases. Novak
released a handful more before disbanding Boxoffice International.
Best Film released this one with DUNGEON
OF TERROR
on one video tape in the LP mode as a double feature. You could do a
lot worse. Also available on DVD from Something
Weird Video. Rated
R.
DUNGEON
OF TERROR (1972) - Two
girls, on the run from the law, try to find a place to hide. After
one of the girls falls into an open grave and is nearly buried alive
by a pair of drunken gravediggers, the duo stumble upon a chateau.
After some lesbian lovemaking, they search the chateau and run into a
bunch of vampires, who capture the girls and chain them up in a
dungeon along with previous female captives. The two girls are
horrified as they witness the other women being raped and bitten by
the band of horny vampires. The two girls are told by a female
vampire that they are needed to perpetuate the vampire race, since
they are a dying breed. Since the two girls are virgins, they must be
penetrated by the master
vampire before the process can be complete. One of the girls likes
the idea, but the other detests it and secretly fucks a man she meets
in the graveyard. The master turns out to be a compassionate vampire.
Since he is tired of watching his minions slaughter innocent victims,
he allows the two girls to kill his assistants and then traps himself
and his female partner in a tomb. The two girls run off into the
night, free to bump pussies once more. This is a severely edited
version of the film that introduced French director Jean Rollin to
American audiences. Originally titled REQUIEM
POUR UN VAMPIRE
("Reqiuem For A Vampire"), it is known in the U.S. under a
myriad of titles, including CAGED
VIRGINS,
CRAZED
VAMPIRE,
SEX VAMPIRES
and VIRGINS
AND VAMPIRES.
There is very little dialogue in this film (a blessing for the
dubbers) and plenty of full frontal female nudity (including hairy
female armpits.Yech!). It also totally lacks any coherence. But what
it lacks in sense it more than makes up for in inventive photography,
weird lighting and female flesh. Rollin made a series of sex vampire
films (this one is his fourth) as well as other films; some good,
many bad. Some of his films are: THE
RAPE OF THE VAMPIRE
(1967 - his first), THE
NUDE VAMPIRE
(1969), PESTICIDE
(1978), FASCINATION
(1979 - one of his best), ZOMBIE
LAKE
(1980 - a living dead snoozefest) and THE
LIVING DEAD GIRL
(1982). DUNGEON
OF TERROR
is worthwhile viewing for fans of stylish camerawork and feminine
flesh. This version runs 62 minutes (other more lengthly versions are
available), not enough time to bore you. A Best Film Video Release. Rated
R.
HITCH
HIKE TO HELL (1977) - Mama's
boy Howard (Robert Gribbin) picks up hitch hiking women in
his
dry cleaning van and tries to talk them out of running away by
telling a story about his sister Judy and how she ran away and how
his mother never recovered. When the girls disregard his story,
Howard gets angry ("I'm gonna do Mama a favor!") and rapes
and strangles the girls, dumping their bodies on deserted stretches
of the road. Howard's homelife is equally depressing: He lives with
his over-protective Mother (Dorothy Bennett) and spends his spare
time building model cars (it must be the glue!). It's not that Howard
kills every girl he picks up. If he can get them to say that they
love their mother, he lets them go. Police Captain Shaw (Russell
Johnson) hopes this is "not some nut job like the Zodiak Killer,
the Las Vegas Strangler or that psycho from Houston" as his
investigation into the strangulations leads nowhere. Captain Shaw
finally gets a break when Howard strangles a girl with a wire coat
hanger from his van. He has his lieutenant (Randy Echols) pick up a
hitch hiker, Pam (Beth Reis), and he tells her that there's a
"mental case" loose in the town. After calling Pam's
parents and finding out they don't care ("They won't even send
bus fare. It seems we're dealing with delinquent parents as well as
delinquent children."), Captain Shaw knows that only the police
can save these girls now. After releasing Pam, Howard picks her up
and strangles her, accidentally leaving his glasses at the murder
scene. The glasses, along with the wire coat hanger, lead Captain
Shaw closer to Howard. Meanwhile, Howard branches out and pick up a
homosexual man who is hitch hiking through town. After determining
that he also hates his mother, Howard kills him, wrapping a wire coat
hanger around his neck. Howard's boss, Mr. Baldwin (John Harmon),
warns him if his performance
delivering and picking up dry cleaning doesn't improve, he will be
fired. Howard's world starts falling apart as his job (and his only
means of picking up hitch hikers) is in jeopardy and the police begin
closing in. Howard picks up an 11 year old runaway girl, then rapes
and kills her (thankfully offscreen). This proves to be Howard's
undoing as the police find a dry cleaning receipt clutched in her
dead hand. The police pick up Howard at the dry cleaners without
incident. We next see Howard clad in a straightjacket muttering to
himself, "I'm so cold, Mama". This tight little
exercise in sleaze was directed by Irv Berwick, who was also
responsible for the then-gory MONSTER
OF PIEDRAS BLANCAS (1959) and the terrible teen comedy MALIBU
HIGH (1978). HITCH HIKE
TO HELL was also one of the last theatrical features from
Harry Novak's Boxoffice International Pictures. Though by no means a
bloody film, the sleaze factor is high as Robert Gribbin's
performance as Howard is a hoot. Playing Howard as slightly retarded,
he does evoke some sympathy, that is until he kills the little girl.
Then you hope he gets his just desserts. But, just as in real life,
things don't always happen the way you think they should. Irv's son
Wayne Berwick, who would later go on to direct MICROWAVE
MASSACRE (1983), serves as sound recordist here (and also on
Larry Buchanan's THE LOCH NESS HORROR
- 1981) and also plays harmonica on the title tune. Co-star Russell
Johnson, who everyone knows as the Professor on GILLIGAN'S ISLAND,
has a long history in genre films, appearing in titles such as IT
CAME FROM OUTER SPACE (1953), THIS
ISLAND EARTH (1955), ATTACK
OF THE CRAB MONSTERS (1957), the TV movies ALOHA
MEANS GOODBYE (1974), YOU
LIE SO DEEP, MY LOVE (1975) and many others. He does a nice
turn here as a cop with a heart, whose disgust for uncaring parents
mirrors Howard's disgust for uncaring children. If your taste runs
towards the tawdry, you could do a lot worse than this flick. Also
starring Gail Bowman and Don Lewis as the "Gay Boy". A Something
Weird Video Release on a double-bill DVD along with KIDNAPPED
COED (1975). Rated R.
KIDNAPPED
COED (1975) - Eddie Mattlock
(Jack Canon) kidnaps pretty young coed Sandra Morley
(Leslie
Ann Rivers), the daughter of wealthy industrialist Franklin Morley
(the voice of director Frederick R. Friedel), and hopes to hit the
jackpot by demanding a large ransom for her safe return. Eddie and
Sandra are about to have an event-filled 48 hours. Their first stop
is a seedy hotel where Eddie plans to hold Sandra until the ransom is
paid. Little does he know that the hotel has been taken over by a
pair of psychos, who barge into their room, beat and tie-up Eddie to
a chair and force him to watch one of them rape a tied-up Sandra on
the bed. Eddie frees himself and shoots the two psychos in the balls.
He then takes Sandra to an abandoned barn, somewhere on the backroads
of the Carolinas, where they are interrupted by four old biddies on a
bird watching expedition. We learn why Eddie is kidnapping Sandra: He
needs the money to keep his wheelchair-bound mother (Gladys Lavitan)
in a nursing home. Pretty soon Eddie and Sandra fall in love and must
deal with a shotgun-wielding farmer and a crazy old coot with a
pitchfork. Sandra freaks out when she sees Eddie kill the old coot
and she runs away into the arms of a blind man (Skip Lundby). Eddie
catches up and calms her down. He then call his mother to tell her
that he and Sandra are in love and are going to get married. His
mother's response: "You're no good, just like your father. Damn
you! Damn you!" Eddie and Sandra pick up the ransom and then go
to a bar, where they drink, dance and do impressions to celebrate
their love and good fortune. Their good fortune doesn't last too long
as three punks rush into the bar, rob everyone and steal Eddie's car,
which contains the ransom money. The End. KIDNAPPED
COED was directed, produced and written by Frederick R.
Friedel, the same auteur responsible for AXE
(1974). While not a good film by anyone's standards, it is
competently-made and good for a quick viewing. Clocking in at a scant
76 minutes, it never drags and offers the viewer a quick look at
future L.A. LAW
and DR.
GIGGLES
star Larry Drake in an early role as caretaker to Eddie's mother.
Worth Keeter (WOLFMAN - 1979; DOGS
OF HELL - 1982) was in charge of Makeup and Special Effects.
Also starring Larry Lambeth and Jim Blankinship as the hotel psychos.
Available on DVD with HITCH HIKE TO HELL
from Something Weird Video.
Rated R. Also known as DATE
WITH A KIDNAPPER, HOUSE
OF TERROR, THE KIDNAPPER and THE
KIDNAP LOVER.
THE
MAD BUTCHER (1972) - Otto
(Victor Buono), "Vienna's greatest butcher", is released
from the
lunatic
asylum after spending three years there for hitting a woman over the
head with two pounds of raw liver. Declared cured, Otto returns to
the butcher shop and his shrewish wife (Franca Polcelli), only to be
horrified about how high the price of sausages have become. He
immediately slashes the price and must find a way to come up with a
cheaper cut of meat. After killing his nagging wife (what a bitch!)
and having a difficult time disposing of her body, Otto finally
solves his meat problem. Needless to say, his new sausages are a hit.
So much in fact, that Otto must find new victims to keep up with the
demand. Mike (Brad Harris), a Chicago reporter on assignment in
Vienna, is working on a story about the disappearance of several
women, all of who are Otto's new sausage meat. Mike falls in love
with a woman (Karen Field) who happens to live next door to Otto's
butcher shop. Mike grows suspicious of Otto and has the police search
the butcher shop. They find nothing thanks to Otto's vat of sulphuric
acid. Otto kidnaps Mike's girl-friend in retaliation. When her ring
is found in one of the sausages served at the police commissary, Mike
rushes over to the butcher shop and saves his love in the nick of
time, knocking Otto into his sausage-grinding machine. As we witness
the grinder spewing out Otto sausages, a superimposed message wishes
us "Buono Appetito"! This Italian horror/comedy is the work
of director Guido Zurli (here credited as John Zurli), who has also
made films under the names Albert Moore, Frank Sanders and John Zuru. THE
MAD BUTCHER
is short on gore (at least in this edited, letterboxed and slightly
dupey 80 minute version) but high on the laugh scale. Some of the
jokes are subtle, so you must watch and listen very carefully. (Don't
watch the actors' lips, because it is badly dubbed.) The late, great
character actor Victor Buono (THE
STRANGLER
- 1964; THE
EVIL
- 1978) greatly enhances the proceedings here, adding the right
amount of menace and parody to his role. THE
MAD BUTCHER
(aka MEAT
IS MEAT
and STRANGLER
OF VIENNA)
has both yucks and shocks. A Genesis Home Video Release. Also
available uncut on DVD from Something
Weird Video. Rated
R.
RATTLERS
(1975) - Any PG-rated film that opens with two little boys
getting bitten to death by a den of
rattlesnakes in the Mojave Desert can't be all bad. Or can it? The
Mojave Police Department bring in herpetologist Tom Parkinson (Sam
Chew) and photographer Ann Bradley (Elisabeth Chauvet) to help in the
investigation. More deaths occur (an entire family killed by the
snakes during dinner time; a plumber has a snake crawl up his pant
leg; a lady taking a bath gets attacked by snakes crawling out of the
drain) and our intrepid duo still cannot figure out why the snakes
are attacking in such a vicious manner until they visit the local
U.S. Army base and meet the dastardly Colonel Stroud (Dan Priest). It
seems the Colonel has been dumping an experimental nerve gas, called
CT3, in an abandoned mine without authorization. The gas is leaking,
causing the snakes to go on a murderous hunting spree. Fearing a
coverup, Tom and Ann investigate the Colonel and the tight security
at the base. When two Army soldiers (one of them played by Darwin
Joston of ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13
- 1976) are savagely killed by the snakes, a drunk Army doctor (Ron
Gold) bucks the Colonel's orders and helps Tom and Ann. This leads
them to the abandoned mine and the main den of killer rattlesnakes.
After they are attacked by the snakes in their tent and Ann is
bitten, Tom goes after the Colonel. The Colonel kills the alcoholic
doctor and goes to the mine to coverup his crimes. After a brief
shootout, the Colonel blows himself and the mine up with a hand
grenade, trapping the snakes and ending their assault. Or does it?
While this is not especially a bad film, the PG rating severely
hampers any suspense that can be had in a film of this type and it
looks as if director John McCauley (whose only other film as director
was THE DEADLY INTRUDER
- 1984) planned it that way. It plays like a TV movie from that
period and if it wasn't for the surprising nudity during the bathtub
scene, you would swear you were watching one (remember TARANTULAS:
THE DEADLY CARGO - 1976?). What this film needed was more
blood and guts as we are never shown the aftermath of the attacks,
just the repulsed reactions of the cast as the sheets are lifted at
the morgue. Still, this is a 70's PG rating, so they still show more
than the sanitized PG of today. I just wish there were more.
Originally released on VHS by U.S.A.
Home Video. A Something
Weird Video DVD Release. Rated PG. Also on the DVD: The
Boris Karloff Mexican horror opus THE
SNAKE PEOPLE (1968) as an added bonus, along with their usual
assortment of short films and trailers. Other killer snake movies
include: STANLEY
(1972), THE KILLER SNAKES
(1974), COPPERHEAD (1984), RATTLED
(1996) and SILENT PREDATORS (1999).
A
SCREAM IN THE STREETS (1973)
- I remember, as a horny teenager, seeing this film at a
drive-in in the mid-70's. My memories of this film were quite
fond and I was anxious to view it again when I saw that it was
available on DVD. Well, either my memory was playing tricks on me or
I was hornier as a teenager than I thought (who wasn't?). Quite
frankly, this film stinks. It is mainly a hodge-podge of near-X sex scenes
bumpered by some inane and badly-choreographed police action. A
serial killer is knifing women at a local park. It is up to to local
cops, Ed and Bob (John Kirkpatric and Frank Bannon) to track this
psychopath down and arrest him. What they don't know is the killer is
dressing up as a woman and walking away from his crimes undetected.
It's quite obvious to the viewer that she's a he (it's quite
pathetic, actually), but everyone in the film is fooled. The two cops
must also deal with a peeping tom (who spies on two lesbians making
love); a sicko who beats up his masseuse with his belt and a gang of
thugs robbing a store. All of the action scenes (they are few and far
in between) are lazily shot and one car chase scene has to be seen to
be believed. The main selling point to this film are the sex scenes.
As I mentioned before, they are of the near-X quality (a Harry Novak
specialty), showcasing both male and female full frontal nudity with
a pre-disposed penchant for oral sex. I dare you not to laugh at the
peeping tom as he slobbers watching the lesbians go at it. I double
dare you not to laugh as one of the lesbians spots the peeping tom
and make a phone call to the police while the other lesbian continues
performing oral sex on her!! The biggest laugh of all comes from the
cross-dressing serial killer. As he is stabbing the women he screams,
"I hate women! You're rotten! ROTTEN!" If this synopsis
make you want to run out and rent or buy this thing, be forwarned:
It's boring as hell and seems twice as long than it really is.
Director Carl Monson, who died in 1988, was also responsible for BLOOD
LEGACY (1971), PLEASE
DON'T EAT MY MOTHER (1973), DEATH
FEUD (1987) and others. This was not his shining hour. Also
starring 70's mammary queens Sharon Kelly (LOVE
LUST AND VIOLENCE - 1975), Sandy Dempsey (SEX
PSYCHO - 1971), Linda York (VIDEO
VIXENS - 1975) and Sandi Carey (BEAUTIES
AND THE BEAST - 1973). A Something
Weird Video Release. Unrated. Also known as SCREAM
STREET and GIRLS IN THE STREET.
THE
TOY BOX (1970)
- Incomprehensible mess that has mucho nudity but makes very little
sense. A group of sexual exhibitionists gather at a secluded mansion
to put on sex shows for the enigmatic Uncle, who may or
may not be dead. Once they are done with their performances, the
sexual participants are allowed to pick a prize from The Toy
Box as a token of Uncles thanks. Things are not going
good. Peo
ple
are being murdered by their sex partners while Uncle watches. Some
people disappear and the occupants are not allowed to leave the
mansion. In the end, we find out that this is all a plot by an alien
race to kidnap humans and use their brains as a drug to get high!
This hodgepodge of sex and horror is confusing to the extreme. The
story is downright impossible to follow. Toss in a lot of post-sync
dubbing, plentiful simulated sex (including oral sex with hilarious
slurping sounds dubbed in) and annoying gel lighting and
what you get is a potpourri of nonsense. Director/screenwriter Ron
Garcia (SWINGERS
MASSACRE
- 1975) went on to become director of photography of David
Lynchs TWIN
PEAKS.
Originally released by Harry Novaks Boxoffice International
Pictures, THE
TOY BOX
(aka THE
ORGY BOX)
is rough going for even the most patient viewer. If it werent
for the frequent nudity on view, I would have pressed the eject
button long before this film was over. Just because its a
rarity does not make it a good film. Starring Evan Steele, Ann Myers,
Deborah Osborne, Lisa Goodman and Rene Bond. From Something
Weird Video. Not
Rated.