AMUCK (1971) - Greta Franklin (the beautiful Barbara Bouchet) arrives at the remote island estate (it's only accessible by boat) of best-selling mystery novelist Richard Stuart (Farley Granger) to work as his secretary. Richard's previous secretary, Sally (Patrizia Viotti), has mysteriously disappeared and we soon find out that Greta and Sally were best friends. Greta has taken the position as Richard's new secretary to investigate her friend's disappearance thanks, in part, to a mysteriously-worded letter that Sally sent her a few days before she vanished. Greta may soon regret her decision, as she is spied on by hulking retarded fisherman Rocco (Petar Martinovitch), who is described as having "the body of a giant and the brain of a child". Greta is drugged one night and has a steamy, slow-motion lesbian encounter with Richard's lonely wife, Elena (Rosalba Neri), who says to Greta, "I so desperately need a friend!" Greta wakes up one night and finds Richard and Elenora throwing a sex party. Elenora convinces Greta to join in the party (after again drugging her drink) and Elenora shows a porn film that's a take-off of Little Red Riding Hood, where Greta recognizes one of the stars of the film as none other than Sally (Greta, who is confused about Elenora, asks Richard about his wife and he replies, "That lady's a mystery I'd rather not solve."). The next day, Richard pitches a story idea to Greta that sounds too much like her undercover mission to be a coincidence. Greta begins snooping around the mansion and finds some of Sally's personal items half burned-up in the basement furnace. This triggers a flashback that shows Greta and Sally weren't just friends, they were also lovers. After almost getting caught by the Stuart's sinister butler (Umberto Raho) in the basement, Greta gets locked-in, but she manages to escape though a locked grate. The broken grate is noticed by Richard and soon Greta is held prisoner at the estate, the phone lines dead and the boat missing from the dock. Greta then listens to a tape that Richard dictated to her that suspiciously sounds like an admission to killing Sally, although Richard dictates it like it's a new story idea. Is Richard actually responsible for Sally's death or is someone setting him up? If that is the case, what is to become of Greta? You'll have to watch the film to find out.  This early 70's Italian mystery (I don't want to call it a giallo, since it doesn't follow standard giallo conventions, such as an unseen gloved killer and brutal murders every few minutes, something this film lacks), directed/scripted by Silvio Amadio (THE MINOTAUR - 1961; SMILE BEFORE DEATH - 1972), is pretty slow going for most of it's running time, but that's not a bad thing in this film's case. Since we are never sure a crime has been committed, we, along with Greta, are forced to pick up clues along the way. That makes paying attention mighty important for the viewer and it's not until we get two-thirds through the film, when Greta goes duck hunting with Richard, Elenora and Sandro (Dino Mele), that we know that something really is amiss. I don't want to spoil it for first-time viewers other than to say it involves an inoperable shotgun and a tense dip in a pit of quicksand. Farley Granger (THE SLASHER - 1972; THE PROWLER - 1982) is fine as the writer who may or may not be playing a game of cat-and-mouse with Greta, but the film definately belongs to the two female leads, Barbara Bouchet (CRY OF A PROSTITUTE - 1974) and Rosalba Neri (GIRL IN ROOM 2A - 1973). Not only do they get to act here (the sight of both women with shotguns in their hands excited me somehow), but they both strip naked on several occasions, so what's not to like? While there's not much in the blood and violence departments (besides the on-screen filleting of a live eel), the plentiful nudity and the unwinding mystery are sure to keep your eyes and brain occupied. Give it a try. Also starring Nino Segurini as the police inspector. A Eurovista Digital Entertainment DVD Release. The legality of this fullscreen DVD is questionable, as it is full of emulsion scratches, print damage, the final reel has a horizontal line running through it (making me believe this was taken from a VHS master) and is missing most of the opening credits. The DVD also contains short videotaped interviews with both Bouchet and Neri (who describes Farley Granger as "professional but distant"), conducted in 2002. They both look surprisingly bonable. Also known as MANIAC MANSION and HOT BED OF SEX (!) Not Rated, although this print does have an MPAA R-Rating classification tacked-on after the film ends.

ANGRY JOE BASS (1976) - Indian fisherman Joe Bass (Henry Bal) makes life difficult for crooked banker George Hanson (Mike Miller), who is foreclosing the loans on all the local fishermen and illegally buying their boats in hopes of taking advantage of new DNR regulations, in this regional Minnesota-lensed riff on BILLY JACK (1971). The whole film is told in flashback, as Hanson's daughter, Karen (Molly Mershon), is in the hospital suffering from a nervous breakdown after her father has been murdered. She tells the story of how it happened (but can't remember how it ended), which makes up the bulk of the film. Karen meets Joe at a boat auction and strikes up a friendship and, later, a love affair with Joe, which severely pisses off her father ("I told you to stay away from that Indian!"). Karen tries her damnedest to have her father and Joe get along, but it falls on deaf ears from both sides (Her mother says to her, "What man would want you when that Indian is done with you?"). Joe goes through a series of bloody beatings and arrests by the crooked sheriff (who does whatever Mr. Hanson orders him to do), but Karen always stays by Joe's side, which just makes her daddy madder. When a bunch of Hanson's goons shoot up Joe's house and injure his father, he says enough's enough. Joe goes after the men who shot up his house and the men end up seriously hurt (one of the guys accidentally cuts off his own leg with a chainsaw!). Under Mr. Hanson's orders, the sheriff sets out to kill Joe. The sheriff sets up a chain of events where he kills two birds with one stone, since he found out his wife is being unfaithful. Both Mr. Hanson and the sheriff's wife end up shot dead in separate incidents as Karen's doctors try to figure out exactly what happened. Karen's flashbacks eventually reveal what actually transpired. Sorry to say that Karen ends up being the total loser here, as her memory reveals that Joe is innocent, but he does not survive to bask in the glory. Joe should have learned not to fuck with the police.  This little-seen revenge flick suffers from one real drawback: Henry Bal, who plays Joe Bass, is so fucking ugly (he has a face only a disfigured bulldog could love) and stiff as an actor, it's really hard to root for him. His rants against the DNR (Department of Natural Resources) is never fully explained (the DNR regulates hunting and fishing to manage the state's natural resources), which also hurts the film for people who have no idea what the DNR is (my wife thought is stood for "Do Not Resusitate"!). The flashback scenario is very fragmented and disconcerting. Just when the film gets interesting (Joe's house being shot up), the films stops dead in it's tracks, switches gears and then tells the story of Sheriff Bill Hemmings (Rudy Hornish), whose wife is having an affair with George Hanson, and how Joe caught him trying to rape a young girl in the woods. The latter half of the film plays like a low-rent version of RASHOMON, as two doctors try to figure out just how Mr. Hanson and the sheriff's wife died. The truth lies in a neon-colored recurring nightmare that Karen is having since the murders. The answer is not that surprising. The action and fighting scenes are awkwardly-staged and the whole film looks like it was edited with a butterkinfe. There is some blood and gore on view, but it, too, is badly filmed and much too quick. Add to that a cheesy theme song titled "The Ballad Of Joe Bass " and what you get is BILLY JACK without the resonance. One-time director/producer/co-scripter Thomas G. Reeves should have also learned that Billy Jack survived in the end. Well, at least we never got an ANGRIER JOE BASS. This had potential, but it was bungled in the execution. On-screen title: JOE BASS (I guess he didn't get angry until much later on). Also starring Lois Aurino, Elaine Kussack, James Dimitri and Derek Parsons. A Paragon Video Productions Home Video Release. Not Rated.

THE ART OF DYING (1991) - Uncommonly good detective thriller with horror overtones from the production team of Joseph Merhi and Richard Pepin, the proprietors of usually less-than-stellar action dramas such as EPITAPH, DEATH BY DIALOGUE, L.A. CRACKDOWN and FRESH KILL (although they have been getting better as they progress). An overstressed cop (Wings Hauser, who also directed) is on the trail of a demented gay filmmaker (Gary Werntz) who is copying scenes of violence from famous films for insertion in his ultimate snuff film, titled appropriately THE ART OF DYING. He fails to tell one actor, who is doing a re-enactment of the Russian roulette scene in THE DEER HUNTER, that the gun he is pointing at his head is not filled with blanks. Two more actors are cut to pieces for real during a re-enactment of the chainsaw scene from DePalma's SCARFACE. An actress is stabbed repeatedly with a real knife in a scene stolen from PSYCHO. Meanwhile, Hauser has personal and professional problems that would put a normal person in a loony bin. He tosses an irate housewife out of a third story window for stabbing his female partner. His only lead to the psycho filmmaker, a gay pimp (a terrific performance by Mitch Lara), is struck and killed by a car during a footchase. Hauser's superiors suspend him from the force for using excessive violence one too many times. In retaliation for killing the pimp (his lover), Wertz kidnaps Hauser's mysterious and sexy girlfriend (Kathleen Kinmont) and plans on using her for the climax of his film: a fiery re-enactment of the conclusion of JOAN OF ARC (break out the marshmallows!). This film has many good things going for it: Snappy dialog, great action scenes, over the top acting (including Michael J. Pollard as a non-action cop), bloody effects, nice sex scenes, unusual editing (especially during the PSYCHO shower scene) and capable direction. Hauser squeezes the most out of a low budget and made an exciting thriller that is sure to please his fans. It's about time he got the chance to go behind the cameras after starring in numerous psychodramas throughout the years. Gaping plot holes aside, THE ART OF DYING should satisfy even the most jaded thriller fans. A PM Home Video Release. Unrated.

BODY CHEMISTRY 2: VOICE OF A STRANGER (1991) - This film, along with IN THE HEAT OF PASSION, showed a definite upswing in the overall quality from what we expected from Roger Corman's Concorde Films until the erotic thriller genre died out and they turned back to remaking old horror films. Forget the title. It has nothing to do with the original BODY CHEMISTRY (1990 - which was a rip-off of FATAL ATTRACTION). What we have here is an engrossing story about an ex-cop (Gregory Harrison) who moves back to his hometown to try and resolve his personal problems. It seems he's into rough sex and is not able to make love without physically hurting his partner. This problem stems from his childhood when his abusive father would brutalize him and sexually abuse his mother. He reunites with his former high school sweetheart (Robin Riker) and when he starts getting thoughts of hurting her, he decides professional help is needed. He calls up a radio psychiatrist (Lisa Pescia), who wants to help him in person. Soon Pescia is sexually abusing Harrison, handcuffing him at inopportune times and generally making his and Riker's (who works at the station as Pescia's engineer) relationship unbearable. The station owner (the late Morton Downey Jr., who is surprisingly good) knows that Pescia has a murderous past and blackmails her into signing a syndication contract. It seems that her new program has significantly raised the station's rating points and he would much rather make money off her than to turn her over to the police. That's all the plot I'm going to give away except to say that the final scene will break your heart. The stars of the film all do an excellent job (Harrison, Gonzo of TV's TRAPPER JOHN, does a nice brooding job in an unusual role), but the real star is director Adam Simon, who also did the wild and weird BRAIN DEAD (1990) and the wacky JURASSIC PARK rip-off CARNOSAUR (1993) for Corman. He pulls you into the story and makes you really care about Harrison and Riker. You want their relationship to work out. Simon also fills the screen with unusual situations including an early scene of Russian Roulette played with one bullet and five Chinese cookie fortunes stuffed into the chambers of a gun. Harrison puts the gun in his mouth and pulls the trigger. When the gun fails to discharge he pulls the fortune out of the chamber. It reads, "Where there is hope there is life." Good stuff. Director John Landis and Clint Howard (ICE CREAM MAN) have cameos. Rent this now to see a directorial genius at work. Too bad Mr. Simon is now directing documentaries such as THE TYPEWRITER, THE RIFLE & THE MOVIE CAMERA (1996 - about deranged director Sam Fuller) and THE AMERICAN NIGHTMARE (2000 - a horror film doc.). An MGM/UA Home Video Release. Rated R. Followed by BODY CHEMISTRY 3: POINT OF SEDUCTION, directed by Jim Wynorski.

THE CASE OF THE BLOODY IRIS (1971) - A woman gets on the crowded elevator of her highrise apartment complex and before it reaches the top floor, she is viciously stabbed to death by someone wearing flesh-colored latex gloves and brandishing a scalpel. When the doors open on the top floor, three people discover the body lying in a pool of blood, but one of them, black model Mizar Harrington (Carla Brait), leaves before the police arrives, saying she is late for her job (she wrestles men at a casino for money!). Meanwhile, beautiful model Jennifer Lansbury (Edwige Fenech) is being stalked by Adam (Ben Carra), the leader of a sex cult that Jennifer once belonged to, but has since left (Adam believes her to be his wife, since her conducted a ritual "marriage" to her in the cult). Adam nearly drugs her while she is walking to her car one night (he wants to free her from the temptation of other men), but she manages to get away with a well-placed elbow to his gut. The mysterious gloved killer then murders Mizar in her own apartment, delivering a karate blow to her throat, tying her up and drowning her in the bathtub. Stamp-collecting Police Commissioner Enci (Giampiero Albertini) is assigned to the case and begins questioning suspects, first beginning at the casino where Mizar worked (the Commissioner at first believes the killer could be a disgruntled male customer who lost to her in a wrestling match). Rich advertising executive Andrea Barto (George Hilton), who was going to use Mizar in his latest ad campaign, uses his influence to get Jennifer and her friend, Marilyn (Paola Quattrini), Mizar's apartment to live in. Barto not only wants to use Jennifer in his ad campaign, he also begins a romantic relationship with her. Barto, who gets queasy at the sight of blood (to put it mildly), isn't quite truthful with Jennifer (he tells her that he's never met Mizar or been in the apartment before, which are both lies) and Adam threatens him with a knife as he leaves the apartment complex, telling him to stay away from Jennifer. That night, the killer (who wears a black stocking mask and a large-brimmed hat) comes into Jennifer's bedroom, but her screams scares the killer away. The next morning, Adam shows up at the apartment and rapes Jennifer, telling her, "From the day of our celestial marriage, you belong to me!" Jennifer can't catch a break, because later that night, the killer is waiting for her in her apartment. The killer attacks her, but she breaks free and runs to the apartment next door, occupied by Shiela (Annabella Incontrera) and her elderly violin-playing father (he plays the damn thing all day and night!). When Sheila takes Jennifer back to her own apartment, they find an iris (a flower) covered in blood on the floor and Adam in her bedroom closet, dead with a knife sticking in his stomach. Luckily, Commissioner Enci doesn't believe that Jennifer is the killer. He instead uses her to bait and trap the real killer and tells her not to trust any of her neighbors. But are the neighbors (including a little old woman who loves to read a magazine called "Horror Tales", who has a hideously-burned son she keeps hidden in a secret room behind her closet) the only people Jennifer shouldn't trust? This early 70's giallo, directed by Giuliano Carnimeo (EXTERMINATORS OF THE YEAR 3000 - 1983; RAT MAN - 1988), using his frequent pseudonym "Anthony Ascott", contains some good set-pieces (including an eerie sequence set in an auto graveyard at night), frequent nudity and some bloody violence. My favorite scene is when Marilyn is stabbed by the killer on a busy street in the middle of the day and she staggers (unnoticed by all the pedestrians) over to a waiting Barto. When he notices all the blood on her hands, he freaks out and runs away, making him look like the guilty party. As with most giallo films, the list of potential suspects and red herrings are many and this film has some memorable ones, each with their own unique quirks. There's also some humor to be found here, most of it coming from Commissioner Enci's second-in-command, Frankie (Franco Agostini).While staking-out Barto's apartment, he spots Barto and Jennifer making love through his binoculars. He radios the Commissioner and says, "Those two are really going at it! Don't be surprised if instead of a corpse, we have a birth on our hands!" Edwige Fenech (YOUR VICE IS A LOCKED ROOM... - 1972) makes a great first impression here, appearing with painted-on clothes (yowza!) during a photo shoot and George Hilton (THE KILLER MUST KILL AGAIN - 1975) is also good as a man with too many secrets for his own good. As with all good giallo films, the opening minutes hold a clue to unmasking the killer. Required viewing for giallo and mystery films. THE CASE OF THE BLOODY IRIS is also known as EROTIC BLUE and WHAT ARE THOSE STRANGE DROPS OF BLOOD DOING ON JENNIFER'S BODY? (phew!). Also starring Oreste Lionelli, Marie Tedeschi, Carla Mancini, Gianni Pulone and George Rigaud. Originally available on DVD from Anchor Bay Entertainment as part of their four-film GIALLO COLLECTION box set and now available as a stand-alone DVD from Blue Underground. Not Rated.

CRIMES OF THE BLACK CAT (1972) - Blind Peter Oliver (Anthony Steffan of THE NIGHT EVELYN CAME OUT OF THE GRAVE [1971]) is sitting at a bar when he overhears what he thinks is a man and woman planning a murder. Unfortunately, some hippie chick decides to play the jukebox and he doesn't hear the complete conversation. When the music is over, the couple is gone and all we see is a woman in a white hooded robe exiting the bar. We also catch a glimpse of a strange piece of jewelry (the "Eye of Horus") that she wears around her neck. While Peter is at the bar, he receives a letter from his fiancee Paola (Isabelle Marchall). Peter's butler, Burton (Unberto Raho), reads the letter to him, telling Peter that Paola is leaving him (Sending a "Dear John" letter to a blind man. How despicable!). The mysterious woman in white goes to a fashion institute carrying a basket (looking like some sinister Little Red Riding Hood) and enters a room with a big "F" and "3" on the door. We then find out that the institute is owned by Victor Morgan (Giacomo Rossi-Stuart of WAR BETWEEN THE PLANETS [1965]), whom the female employees swoon over, but the real businessperson is Francoise Ballais (Sylvia Koscina), who runs the institute's day-to-day operations. Victor and Francoise are also married, but there's trouble in paradise as Francoise thinks that Victor is fooling around with Paola, Peter's ex. Paola, who is a model at the institute, goes into room F3 to change. She finds a yellow shawl with a note attached to it on the table. She reads the note, burns it, puts on the yellow shawl and notices the basket on the floor. She opens the basket, screams and then drops dead, her yellow shawl ripped and scratches on her neck. By the time the police are called in, the basket has disappeared. The police inspector, Jansen (Renato De Carmine), believes Paola was murdered, so institute employee Margot (Shirley Corrigan) brings Inspector Jansen to Peter's house to break the news to him. Peter mentions the Dear John letter to Jansen (but he doesn't ask to see it!), but he is still determined to find out who killed Paola. He, Margot and Burton (who is always listening in the shadows) follow their first clue to Paola's cousin, Harry (Romano Malaspina), a photographer and pornographer. Harry is stabbed in the neck and killed before Peter arrives to question him and, just before Peter and Margo arrive and discover his corpse, we see Victor rummaging through Harry's photographs. Jansen is understandably miffed and warns Peter to back off, but more people will receive yellow shawls as gifts and then drop dead suddenly. Can Peter use his supersensitive hearing and sense of smell to solve these murders? Who is making the woman in white carry out these murders and what are his/her motivations for doing so? I've given you the clues, so now you must solve it.  Judging by the mention of yellow shawls (the film's original title is SETTE SCIALLI DI SETA GIALLA, which translates to "Seven Shawls Of Yellow Silk"), you can probably guess that this is an Italian giallo film (the killer even drives a yellow VW Beetle!), and a good one at that. Director/co-scripter Sergio Pastore builds the mystery slowly, introducing characters as suspects and red herrings while giving us small pieces of Peter's personal life. In the beginning, we hear a waiter call him "Maestro", so we get the sense that he's some kind of musician. It's not until much later in the film that we find out what type of musician he really is: He's a film composer! A blind film composer (think about that for a minute). It's not the first time that a blind man was a central character in a giallo. Karl Malden was a blind man in Dario Argento's CAT O' NINE TAILS (1971) and, just like that film, there's a murder in a subway station and it takes a blind man to see the truth. The killing method is quite unique, as the yellow shawls are coated with the deadly poison curare and a cat pheremone and when a cat is unleashed from the basket, it scratches the person through the shawl, releasing the poison into their system and killing them instantly. There are also other methods of death, including hanging, stabbing, a cat beheaded under the wheels of a subway car and a real nasty slashing in the shower (that comes out of nowhere and is extremely graphic for it's time). There's also nudity (including a lesbian scene), drug use, circus clown flashbacks (fucking scary stuff!) and plenty of wild 70's fashions. CRIMES OF THE BLACK CAT is a compelling murder mystery that will have you guessing up to the very end, where the killer takes Peter to a glassworks and leaves him there to fend for himself, broken glass littering the floor and dangerous machinery operating around him. It's a great, suspenseful sequence that's punctuated by a death in a vat of lye and a final murder that's as gory as it is shocking. It's viciousness will leave you slack-jawed. Also starring Jeannette Len, Annabella Incontrera, Liliana Paulo and Lorenzo Piani. A Dagored DVD Release. It's a widescreen print in it's original Italian language with (tiny) English subtitles. Not Rated.

CRY OF A PROSTITUTE (1974) - Wow, what a film! When a father, mother and their son are killed in a nasty automobile accident as they cross the Italian border (the father is decapitated by the blade of a bulldozer), the police discover that the little boy has been dead for at least two days. His small body has been gutted and his internal organs replaced with canisters of heroin! The police are reasonably upset that the body of a young child was being used as a drug mule, but more upset are the Dons of the local Mafia. They hold a meeting to discuss the matter and come to the conclusion that Don Ricuzzo Cantimo (Fausto Tozzi), nicknamed "The Americano" because he was deported from Brooklyn, is to blame for this despicable incident. The Mafia assigns Don Casscemi (Vittorio Sanipoli) to deal with Don Ricuzzo (in other words, dispose of him). After leaving the meeting, Don Casscemi is kidnapped by some of Don Ricuzzo's men, but his captors are surprised and shot dead (with a bullet each between the eyes) by whistling hitman Tony Aniante (Henry Silva), Don Casscemi's number one assassin. Don Casscemi then tells Tony to kill anyone involved with the dead boy incident, including Don Ricuzzo. From the moment Tony arrives in Don Ricuzzo's village, the bloodshed and treachery begins. When he stops a robbery of some of Don Turi's (Mario Landi) heroin, Tony begins to play the two local Dons against each other. He lets them believe that he is working as an enforcer for both of them, but Tony has a deep (and as of yet, unknown) personal vendetta to resolve. Tony doesn't even mind using Don Ricuzzo's American whore wife, Margie (Barbara Bouchet, who Tony first spots bathing with some freshly-squeezed milk) to achieve his goals. As the attacks against the two Dons escalate, including a failed attempt to kidnap Don Turi's retarded grandson Zino (Alfredo Pea), we learn the real reason why Tony is holding such a huge chip on his shoulder. The finale finds Tony being found out (he really is quite the bastard) and, even though he is beaten to a pulp and left for dead, he works out one final deal to kill Don Ricuzzo. Be prepared for a twist at the end. It's a keeper.  This is a terrific example of the Italian crime thriller genre that came into prominence during the 70's and no one was better in them than Henry Silva (ALMOST HUMAN - 1974). With his steely eyes (that could melt glass) and no-nonsense attitude, Silva makes the perfect anti-hero. As the take-no-prisoners Tony, who announces himself to his enemies by whistling a haunting tune just before putting a bullet in the middle of their forheads, Silva is one mean motherfucker. Not only does he kill two guys with bullets in their brainpans in one sequence that takes place in a quarry, he then runs over their bodies with a steamroller and flattens them like a pancake! The strangest scene (and probably where they came up with the film's misleading title) is where Margie corners Tony in the kitchen late one night and threatens to scream rape unless Tony makes love to her. He calls her a "whore" (she was one in America before Don Ricuzzo married her) and she replies, "Three bucks a pop and two bucks for a handjob...in a car!". What happens next is completely insane. Margie says to Tony, "We're all whores in this world. The only difference is that you don't sell your body. You sell your soul!" She spits on him and Tony then anally rapes her while she screams in pleasure and pain! Later on, he whips her with his belt (even using the buckle at one point!) and rapes her again on some hay in a barn, leaving her a bloody, bruised mess. You gotta love those Italians. There's also an excellent shootout/massacre at Don Turi's villa where people are shotgunned in the head and gut and Don Turi's wife, Santa (Dada Gallotti of GIRL IN ROOM 2A - 1973) cleaves a man's head in two with a bandsaw! As you can tell, this is an extremely violent film that doesn't pull it's punches. Director Andrea Bianchi (BURIAL GROUND - 1981; ANGEL OF DEATH - 1987) fills the screen with gruesome sights, from the opening views of the father's decapitation and little boy's autopsy, multiple bloody shootouts, dismemberments, rapes and stabbings. The film is almost Shakespearian in it's tragedy, especially when retarded Zino is handed a gun and told to get revenge since he is the last surviving male member of Don Turi's family. This film is also full of quotable dialogue (none of it unintentionally funny), scripted by Piero Piegnoli. Here's my favorite: Don Ricuzzo: "Do you think there's a God, Tony Aniante?" Tony: "Sometimes."  If you're a fan of 70's Italian crime thrillers, this one should be on your must-see list. The version I viewed was compiled from various sources (in widescreen) by a fan and is much longer than the VHS tape released by Prism Entertainment in the 80's or the recent crappy DVD put out by Televista, which are both fullscreen. Some scenes are in Italian with English subtitles. Also starring Piero Maria Rossi, Patrizia Gori and Mauro Righi. Released theatrically in the 70's by Joseph Brenner Associates in a heavily-edited R-rated print. This version is Not Rated.

DAHMER (2002) - In this uncertain world we live in, filled with school shootings and unnecessary wars. it's sometimes wise to search for answers as to why people enjoy killing other people. Serial killers always facinated me, especially the reasons why they kill. Most of them had abusive parents, were sexually assaulted as children and are very intelligent. And it takes a long time to catch them. In my search for answers, this film, which takes many liberties with Jeffrey Dahmer's story, was not the place to look for them. The film opens with Dahmer (Jeremy Renner of 28 WEEKS LATER [2007]) picking up an Asian boy at a shoe store after buying him an expensive pair of sneakers in return for posing for a couple of Polaroids back at Dahmer's house. Once at the house, Dahmer drugs the kid's drink and, once the kid passes out, takes many photos, kisses the kid and then drills a small hole in his head, giving him a homemade lobotomy. The police show their ignorance when the kid escapes and Dahmer convinces them that the kid is drunk, so the cops escort the kid back to the house (this part is based on fact). Flashbacks reveal that Dahmer's father, Lionel (Bruce Davison), was overbearing and had trust issues with Jeffrey (the scene between the two arguing over a locked box in Jeffrey's closet is a study in tension, as we don't know what's in the box until he opens it [it's a human head!]). In another flashback, we spot Jeffrey going to a gay bar and drugging a series of men's drinks over the course of a few months, having sex with their motionless bodies until one day a bartender catches him spiking a drink and has the bouncers beat him up and throw him out permanently. Back in the present, Dahmer picks up a young black man at a sporting goods store and brings him home. As they are talking about sex with women, it triggers a flashback which shows us why he detests straight sex, which dates back to high school. His first gay experience was when, as a student, he gets a high school wrestler high, brings him back to his parent's house where they get into an impromptu wrestling match and it turns him on. It also turns out to be his first kill. Back in the present, the young black kid, though drugged, manages to escape but returns when he misses the last bus home. This makes him Dahmer's last victim, as it would also be Dahmer's last day of freedom. The film ends as it began: Jeffrey alone and not certain about his future.  For a serial killer flick, DAHMER is almost bloodless and the violence is kept to a minimum. That's not to say it's not an uncomfortable film to watch. The threat of violence is in almost every frame as we begin to realize that Jeffrey may like committing violence, but when the tables are turned on him, he folds like a bad hand of cards. For the most part, the violence is implied, although some scenes, such as when Jeffrey dismembers his first victim on his parents' kitchen floor, are still hard to watch. We know what he's doing (thanks to some eerie sound effects), we just can't see it. On the negative side, let's just say it's not going to change the mind of anyone who thinks that homosexuality is immoral. Director/writer David Jacobson portrays the gay lifestyle rather grittily, subjecting the scenes to red filters as if he was equating gay sex with violence and bloodshed. This is basically the story about Dahmer's last day of freedom, with flashbacks filling in some turning points in his life. The way the story is told, you are never aware or shown any of his other numerous victims and, except for a crawl in the beginning (which says he was convicted of 15 counts of murder), this film takes for granted that you know Dahmer's history. This is the most un-serial killer film about a serial killer that you are likely to see. If you're lookig for something along the lines of HENRY, you will be bitterly disappointed. I liked it, even if it didn't give me the answers I was looking for. Also starring Artel Kayaru, Matt Newton and Dion Basco. A First Look Home Entertainment Release. Rated R.

DAUGHTER OF DEATH (1982) - Teenage Julie (Isabelle Mejias) loves her father (Anthony Franciosa). I mean she really loves her father! Julie hates her mother because she wants to send her away to boarding school, which  will mean that Julie will be far away from Dad. Mom also gets rid of Julie's pet snake with the help of the grocery deliveryman (Paul Hubbard), much to Julie's displeasure Julie hates her mother so much in fact, that while Mom is being raped and killed by the horny deliveryman, she does nothing to stop him even though she is carrying a rifle (Dad taught her to be a crack shot). Now she can have Daddy all to herself. Wrong! Daddy moves his girlfriend (Sybill Danning) and her young son into the house. To say that Julie is displeased is an understatement. She spies on Danning and Daddy making love and imagines herself in Danning's place (a disturbing visual). She tries to kill Danning's son by playing a lethal game of hide and seek (she locks him in an abandoned refrigerator) but is foiled when Danning finds him. Then Daddy drops a bombshell: He tells Julie that he has just married Danning! Julie goes off the deep end and decides her newfound family must depart. She blackmails the deliveryman, telling him if he doesn't kill her stepmom she will go to the police and tell them what she saw. (She says to him, "You can rape her as many times as you want before you kill her.") Will she get away with it? This German production, released to theaters as JULIE DARLING, has very little nudity considering its subject matter. Danning (PANTHER SQUAD, CAT IN THE CAGE) bares her best assets in only one scene! But there is enough sleaze in the storyline (including a broken bottle to the crotch) to keep your mind from wandering. Mejias (who can also be seen in the abysmal comedy STATE PARK) plays her role well despite the fact that she is probably a few years older than her screen character. Director Paul Nicholas also made THE NAKED CAGE, a better than average women-in-prison flick. Franciosa also starred in Dario Argento's UNSANE (aka TENEBRE). DAUGHTER OF DEATH is a minor screen gem. A T-Z Video Release. Rated R.

THE DEAD ARE ALIVE (1972) - This odd mixture of German krimli and Italian giallo genres keeps your interest even though it gets off to a rather confusing start. This is a murder mystery with supernatural overtones, as alcoholic archaeologist Jason Porter (Alex Cord) is at a dig site and discovers the tomb of an ancient Etruscan demon god. A young couple making out at the ruins are savagely slaughtered by unknown hands using one of Dr. Porter's probes as a weapon. Hot-tempered orchestra conductor Nikos Samarakis (John Marley) tries to disrupt Dr. Porter's life and steal his ex-girlfriend Myra (Samantha Eggar) for reasons not yet known. Police Inspector Giuranna (Enzo Tarascio) is assigned to the murder case and interviews everyone (he thinks a "sex killer" is on the loose). Not only does the Inspector find some of Dr. Porter's Etruscan artwork missing, he also discovers that two pairs of red shoes were taken from the costume department of the opera Nikos is about to conduct. Is there a connection? The answer becomes clear when Dr. Porter discovers the unconscious body of assistant Igor (Carlo De Mejo) and the mutilated corpse of Igor's girlfriend (wearing a pair of the red shoes) in a barn. The Inspector suspects Dr. Porter (he's drunk most of the time), but Igor clears him when he regains consciousness. Dr. Porter gets a phone call from a female warning him to take Myra and leave if he doesn't want to see both of them killed. Dr. Porter is also being blackmailed by a nasty tour guide (we see the guide set fire to a spider and it's web just for the fun of it) who has circumstantial evidence linking him to the murders. His past (as a patient committed to a hospital in New York fifteen years earlier for his alcoholism after he tried to kill Myra) also comes to the forefront, thanks to Mikos. Porter finally gets some evidence on Nikos, thanks to an unlikely source, which brings Myra back into his arms. Porter finds the slaughtered bodies of another couple after he makes an important discovery in the tomb, which leads him to the identity of the real killer. He now has to race against the clock to save Myra from the clutches of the killer.  Directed and co-written by Armando Crispino (AUTOPSY - 1975) and based on a story by Byron Edgar Wallace, THE DEAD ARE ALIVE (also known as THE ETRUSCAN KILLS AGAIN) is a passable murder mystery, but that's about it. The murder scenes aren't very original or filmed in an exciting way, but the Etruscan ruins do add some atmosphere to the proceedings, even if they are not fully utilized. The usually excellent Alex Cord (INN OF THE DAMNED - 1974) looks bored here and John Marley (DEATHDREAM - 1972) screams his lines rather than acting with them. He's pretty aggravating and off-putting throughout most of the film as, what Dr. Porter calls him, "a sadistic pig". The real problem with this film is that there is too much dead air and the killer is easy to spot (at least to me). When watching this, I got the feeling that I was watching second-rate Dario Argento (just before a murder happens, Verdi opera music is heard), minus the fluid camerawork and flashy visuals. By the time we come to the conclusion, where Dr. Porter finally enters the Etruscan tomb and puts the pieces to the murder mystery together, it's literally too late to give a damn. While there is a smattering of nudity (none by Eggar, in case you were wondering) and blood, it could have used more of both. This is nothing extraordinary, but it's an O.K. mystery if your sights aren't set too high. Also starring Nadja Tiller, Horst Frank, Enzo Cerusico and Daniela Surina. Never available on home video in the U.S. (it did play theatrically in 1972 with a totally bogus ad campaign), the print I viewed from Eurovista Digital Entertainment on DVD, was a beat-up widescreen edition with frequent emulsion scratches, missing frames and an annoying hair fluttering on the bottom left of the frame throughout most of the film. Rated R.

DIARY OF THE DEAD (1976) - For the past couple of years, readers of this site have been telling me how I have got to see this film. After reading a synopsis, I have to tell you, I wasn't impressed. But, I finally bought a copy off eBay and, I must say, I'm glad I did. When we first see Stan (Hector Elizondo), he is disposing the body of what we think is his mother-in-law, Maud (Geraldine Fitzgerald), in the middle of the night. The next morning, Stan, his wife Vera (Salome Jens) and intrusive next door neighbor Walter Johnson (Joe Maher) are at a lawyer's office for the reading of Maud's will. We are then whisked back in time, where events that lead up to this are explained. Stan is temporarily unemployed and he and Vera are forced to live with Maud, who shows nothing but disdain for Stan. Not only does she think that Stan isn't good enough for her daughter (she would much rather have Walter for a son-in-law and Walter tries his damnest to make that happen), she belittles him for not being able to give her grandchildren and keeps taunting him about a huge sum of money she has (but no one has ever seen), but he will never get his hands on. Maud purposely barges in on him in the bathroom ("It's my house and I'll do what I want!") and constantly reminds him how he's got nothing and how worthless he is. The problem is, Stan is a decent human being just going through some hard times and doesn't deserve this kind of treatment. When Maud reveals to Vera that she has $86,000 socked away (she shows her the bank book), even Vera is disgusted with her mother because she could have helped make her and Stan's lives a little easier. When Vera tells Stan about the money and how he was right about Maud all along, Stan hatches a plan to get rid of Maud. When an elderly friend of Maud's comes to the house for an extended visit and dies in front of Stan of natural causes, it's the perfect opportunity for him to put his plan into action. Of course, the best laid plans...  Capably directed by TV vet Arvin Brown (THE CLOSER and dozens of other TV series since the early 80's), DIARY OF THE DEAD is a witty and wicked thriller with twists and turns you don't see coming. The always wonderful Hector Elizondo (THE TAKING OF PELHAM ONE TWO THREE - 1974; LEVIATHAN - 1989) carries the film as an average Joe who takes advantage of a situation not of his doing, only to have it spiral out of control to the point where it would drive a sane person crazy. The biggest roadblock for Stan's plan's success is pesky neighbor Walter (and his even peskier dog), who hits on Vera, shows up at the most inopportune times and seems to have an agenda of his own. Things go from bad to worse when the body Stan has buried refuses to stay in the ground. The capper is the reading of Maud's will, where it states that the bulk of her estate will be held in trust for Vera's naturally-born children, knowing damn-well that there will be no children as long as Vera is married to Stan. If you think that's the end of the film, think again. The police become involved, Stan is questioned at headquarters and there's on hell of a surprise ending. The script (by J.C. Rapoport and Robert L. Fish) is top-notch and the acting uniformly excellent (you'll want to strangle Geraldine Fitzgerald, she's that mean). I'm surprised more isn't written about this excellent thriller (a lot of reference books get the plot all wrong), which is devoid of graphic gore or violence. It doesn't need it. Just watching one man's descent into a hell he doesn't deserve is reward enough. I'm still trying to figure out why it's called DIARY OF THE DEAD, though. That's a real head-scratcher. This film is full of recognizable character actors, including Austin Pendleton, Richard Venture, James Naughton, George Spalding, Lee Wallace, Joyce Ebert and Kate Wilkinson. A Vista Home Video Release. Not available on DVD. Rated PG.

THE EYE BEHIND THE WALL (1977) - If you ever had the feeling that you were being watched, this film will make you very nervous. This takes the word "voyeurism" and gives it a whole new meaning. When we first see Arturo (John Phillip Law; BLOOD DELIRIUM - 1988), he is eyeing-up a woman in a short skirt while traveling on a train. It eventually becomes too much for him to take. He then rapes her and chokes her to death with his bare hands. The next time we see Arturo, he is staying in an apartment owned by couple Ivano (Fernando Rey), a paraplegic, and Olga (Olga Bisera). What Arturo doesn't know is that he is being watched, as Ivano and Olga have the apartment wired with cameras and microphones. They find Arturo an "interesting character" and not only watch him for scientific purposes (Ivano is some kind of famous psychologist), but soon find their observations crossing into sexual territory (Ivano, who is incapable of making love to Olga because of his disability, feels her up while she watches Arturo exercising in the nude). Ivano and Olga's butler, Ottavio (Jose Quaglio), is doing some watching of his own, peeping through the keyhole as Olga takes a bath. He also has a secret shrine to her in his closet and sniffs her hair in the bathtub drain when she is done bathing. Olga catches him doing this and slaps Ottavio in the face ("Pig!"), but says nothing about it to Ivano (probably because she loves the attention). As Ivano and Olga  study Arturo deeper, they discover that he keeps to himself and doesn't leave the apartment often, so when Arturo does finally go out one night, Olga follows him under the guise of "scientific study" (That may be partly true, but she's got the hots for him ever since she spotted his frank and beans!). She follows him to a disco, where Arturo watches some muscular black dude strip a white chick while they are dancing to a cheesy disco tune. Surprisingly, Arturo brings the black dude back to the apartment, where they smoke pot and engage in gay sex, all under the watchful eyes of Ivano and Olga. Olga then become visibly upset and storms out of the room, crying and yelling at Ivano that he knew Arturo was gay all along. Ivano convinces her otherwise and they both decide to take the experiment to a new level by introducing Olga into Arturo's life to see if she can get Arturo to fall in love with her. It works all too well and, after a short time, Ivano is watching Olga making love to Arturo. This brings up painful memories to Ivano and, in flashbacks, we learn that he caught his son making love to Olga. As he was driving his son out of town, they got into a bad car accident, which crippled Ivano and killed his son. The finale reveals hidden family secrets and a strangely ironic (though fitting) demise for two of the players.  This strange, strange film, the only directing and scripting credit for Giuliano Petrelli (who was a bit actor in a few Italian films in the 70's, including MANHUNT [1972]), is full of surprising scenes of both male and female nudity, including full-frontal scenes from John Phillip Law. This film equates sex and voyeurism as weapons, both physical and psychological. When Olga catches Ottavio sniffing her drain hair (ugh!), he retaliates by burning the shrine he had of her in a pile of leaves outside and then rapes local village girl Lucille (Monica Zanchi), knowing full well that Olga is watching him through a window (and she acts hurt, like a little schoolgirl). As Ottavio is raping Lucille, he screams at her, "You keep your honor between your legs!", but you really know he meant that remark for Olga. First and foremost, this is a film about damaged people. No one in this film can romotely be considered normal (even Lucille, who becomes Ottavio's girlfriend!), so the problem with this film is deciding which character to align yourself with. As the film progresses and more information is revealed about each character (especially about Olga and her relationship with Ivano), you will find yourself too confused to pick a single character to sympathize with, but that's not a bad thing. In the end, this is a film about confused human beings that don't have the faintest idea on how to act human, thanks to events in their pasts that drained them of their humanity. The more they try to act normal, the worse it becomes for everyone. The ending to this short (75 minute) film is a shocker and shows how finally regaining your sanity and humanity doesn't mean things necessarily turn out for the best. As in real life, the results can be tragic. A perverse, undiscovered little gem. Also known as THE CRYSTAL MAN and EYES BEHIND THE WALL. Also starring Joseph Jenkins and Roberto Posse. Available on VHS and DVD-R from Luminous Film & Video Wurks in a soft-looking widescreen print (with plenty of emulsion damage) in the original Italian language with English subtitles. Not Rated.

EYES OF THE BEHOLDER (1992) - A psychotic artist named Janice (Lenny Von Dohlen) escapes from a mental hospital and terrorizes the occupants of a secluded mountain home owned by the doctor who performed an experimental operation on him. The operation (which was supposed to cure Janice of his homicidal ways) was a failure and has left one of Janice's hands a twisted mass of flesh, sealing his fate as an artist. He plays a cat and mouse game with Dr. Carlyle (Matt McCoy), cutting off any means of access or communication from his home and then systematically makes life hell for the good doctor, his wife (Joanna Pacula) and their two house guests (George Lazenby and Kylie Travis). After a little torture (including some well-placed bullet hits and walking on broken glass) and a lot of philosophizing, Janice falls through an opening on a rotting bridge and gets sucked underwater during a raging thunderstorm. This run-of-the-mill suspenser is enlivened a bit by some inventive photography and quick, jackhammer MTV-style editing. The camera is always moving (giving the film a nervous quality) and the film is full of short shock-cuts which makes the film seem better than it really is. The main problem is the screenplay. Too much talk, not enough action. As a villian, Lenny Von Dohlen (BLIND VISION - 1991) is rather bland, never building up enough fear in the audience to make his character plausible. Joanna Pacula (THE KISS - 1988) and Matt McCoy (DEEP STAR SIX - 1989) are far too removed from everyday life to attract any sympathy from the viewers. I was rather pleased to see George Lazenby's return to the screen (Am I the only one that considers ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE [1969] a shining jewel in the James Bond series?) and he aquits himself rather nicely, pumping some adrenaline into this slow-moving vehicle. B-movie (and former Russ Meyer) staple Charles Napier has a small part here as a cop. Director/screenwriter Lawrence Simeone also made (and co-starred in) the rarely-seen crime thriller COP OUT (1991). All in all, EYES OF THE BEHOLDER is neither good or bad. It's just common. A Columbia TriStar Home Video Release. Rated R.

FAIR GAME (1988) - Effective little Italian thriller about a vengeful husband who plots the perfect murder of his wife, who left him because of his possessiveness. The husband in question is Gene (Gregg Henry), a rich computer game designer, who drives out to the middle of the desert to buy a deadly black mamba, one of the most poisonous snakes in the world, from snake handler Frank (Bill Moseley). Gene has done his homework and knows that the mamba is deadliest during the one month a year when it mates. The mamba must bite continually during this time to release the overabundance of poison it produces when in heat (Frank puts a rabbit in the mamba's cage to show how aggressive the snake is. It's not pretty.). We also learn at this time that Gene is quite the electronics genius, as he rigged his car so that Frank cannot get out so he can test out the snake's effectiveness on humans. Frank is bitten and dies in less than a minute, which pleases Gene. He then goes to the loft of Eva (Trudy Styler), his estranged artist wife, and secretly tags her with mamba hormone and sets the snake loose. He breaks off the key in the only door, cuts off her phone to the outside (only he can call her) and waits outside in his car, where he can track the snake and his wife electronically. Eva is at first unaware that anything is wrong and goes about her business as usual, taking a bath and practicing yoga, while the mamba stalks her (cue distorted snake POV shots). While Eva is making a video diary, the mamba strikes and misses. She doesn't even notice until she plays back the tape and spots the snake. Now aware of the mamba, Eva also realizes that both her door and phone are out of order. Not able to escape, Eva must fight for survival while Gene calls her on the phone every few minutes to see if she's still alive. Eva proves to be quite the fighter, even as Gene cuts the electricity, forcing her to fight in darkness. Eva gets wise to Gene's deadly game and devises a way to get Gene into the loft, where she turns the tables on him and gives him a taste of the mamba's venom.  This tight little thriller, directed and co-scripted by Mario Orfini (CYBER EDEN - 1992), is basically a two character stage play, as most of the action takes place in Eva's loft or Gene's car. Gene has sixty minutes for the mamba to kill Eva (that how long the hormone is effective) and the rest of the film plays out in real time, making it urgent and suspenseful. Trudy Styler, better known as the activist wife of rocker Sting, walks around most of the time in a tee shirt and panties (there's also brief nudity during the bath scene), until she discovers that the snake is present. Then, she covers-up herself completely from head to toe and builds an impromptu fortress around her to stop the snake. Styler keeps things moving at a brisk pace by talking to herself, working her way out of tough situations by using common sense and keeping a cool head. Gregg Henry (SLITHER - 2006) doesn't have much to do but act slimy (the snake's got nothing on him), look menacing and scowl when things don't go his way, but that's OK because the real suspense here comes with Eva's interaction with the snake and the inventive twist ending. Those looking for blood and gore will be sorely disappointed here, as this film gets it's thrills the old fashioned way: With tense situations and a reliance on mood over violence. Good show. Originally titled MAMBA. Giorgio Moroder wrote the effective music score and was also an Associate Producer. VENOM (1981) is another excellent film dealing with an on-the-loose black mamba. A Vidmark Entertainment Release. Rated R.

FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE (1977) - William Sanderson portrays Jesse Lee Cain, a convict who escapes police custody along with two other felons, a Hispanic and a Chinaman. They steal a car, rob a gas station (repeatedly stabbing the attendant) and head for Canada. En route, they rob a liquor store (shooting the owner) and take a black woman hostage. They make her take them to her home so they can hide out until the heat blows over. The home is occupied by a black deacon and his large family and pretty soon they are all hostages. The extremely prejudiced Cain and his cohorts begin terrorizing the frightened family. First, Cain throws nearly every racial slur at the family, calling them nigger, tarbaby, burrhead, spade, coon, monkey face, Uncle Remus, Aunt Jemima and many others. Then he threatens their lives, pointing his gun at their heads and promising to pull the trigger if they don't do demeaning tasks like licking his boots or dancing a jig. The Chinaman kills a visiting white woman (by throwing her off a cliff after attempting rape) and smashes a visiting small white boy's head in (graphically) with a rock. After an unsuccessful escape attempt, Cain teaches the family a lesson by raping the deacon's daughter and letting his partners have a turn with her. The police surround the house, giving the family a chance to turn the tables on their captors. Instead of turning them over to the police, the deacon and his family chuck their pacifist ways and administer their own brand of justice. Cain and his cohorts get their just desserts, but not before Cain reveals just why he has all that hatred for black people. This film, lensed as FIGHTIN' FAMILY and also known as STAYIN' ALIVE, is so sleazy you'll feel like taking a shower after viewing it. William Sanderson is so believable as the black-hating Cain, portraying his character as a hillbilly with no morals (he keeps his pants up with a piece of rope), that you'll never look at his role of Larry (of Larry, Darryl and Darryl) on NEWHART reruns the same way again. (Come to think of it, there weren't that many black actors on the program. Hmmm...) Producer William Mishkin is better known for his collaborations with the late badfilm director Andy Milligan. Screenwriter Straw Weisman, who also worked frequently with Milligan, directed that weird minor gem about necrophilia, DEAD MATE (1988). FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE is a tense and bloody foray in racial hatred. It is not for all tastes and caters to our baser tastes. If you do decide to rent it, make sure you have plenty of soap and water on hand. You'll need it. Directed by Robert A. Endelson (THE FILTHIEST SHOW IN TOWN - 1975).  A Paragon Home Video and After Hours Entertainment Release. Also available on DVD from Blue Underground. Rated R.

FREEWAY (1996) - The term "graphic" describes every facet of this modern retelling of Little Red Riding Hood. The violence, language and sex push this way beyond its R rating (did the MPAA actually review this film?), making it a thoroughly remarkable and funny tale of morals in this country. A juvenile delinquent (the wonderful Reese Witherspoon, who went on to become a major star is such films as LEGALLY BLONDE) takes a trip to her grandmother's house after her prostitute mother and junkie stepfather are busted by the police. Along the way, her car breaks down and she gets a ride from a child psychiatrist (Kiefer Sutherland) who turns out to be a notorious necropheliac serial killer. She manages to break free and shoots him a half dozen times but he clings to life, his face horribly disfigured. She is arrested for attempted murder. Due to her lengthly juvenile record, the police do not believe her story and she is made out to be the monster and he the innocent victim, due in a large part by the efforts of his bitchy wife's (an excellent Brooke Shields) media campaign of half-truths and misinformation. She is tried as an adult and sentenced to life inprisonment. Forced to use violence as a way to survive, she becomes a celebrity in prison and escapes with the help of three female inmates. Meanwhile, the police are getting closer to discovering the real truth. The finale takes place at Grandma's house, where the disfigured serial killer subs for Grandma and lies in waiting for his revenge. Writer/director Matthew Bright offers a sassy script, surreal scenes and off-kilter violence and blends it into a really satisfying brew. Oliver Stone was one of the executive producers. This film was such a hit on home video and cable that director Bright made a sequel FREEWAY 2: CONFESSIONS OF A TRICKBABY (1999). FREEWAY also stars Dan Hedaya, Amanda Plummer, Wolfgang Bodison, Bokeem Woodbine and Sydney Lassick. Made it's premiere on HBO with a video release by Republic Pictures Home Video. Rated R, but deserves an NC-17 although I'm not complaining.

HER VENGEANCE (1988) - Five drunk and violent brothers go to the "Casino Lisboa" and interrupt the stage show (a French can-can review) by acting rowdy and beligerent. When the manager of the club, Chieh Ying (Pauline Wong), asks them to calm down, they grope her, forcing Cheih to slap on of the brothers and call Security, who throw them out. The brothers wait for Chieh to get off work, where they grab her, bring her to a cemetery and gang-rape her (one of the brothers burns her with a disposable lighter when she refuses to move while he screws her!). In her shame, Chieh never reports the rape and returns to her regular routine. One day, she has a burning sensation between her legs, so she goes to a doctor, who tells her that she has a serious case of VD (His exact words are: "You must have had filthy sex partners. Your uterus will soon rot, leading to cancer of the uterus!") and she will soon die. What is a poor girl to do? Well, since this is a crazy, out-of-control Hong Kong thriller, she decides to get even with her five rapists before she kicks-off. After telling her blind sister her whole sordid story, Chieh leaves mainland China and heads to Hong Kong in search of Hsiung (Lam Ching-Ying), her wheelchair-bound Uncle, who was also her blind sister's lover (!). Hsiung, who runs a nightclub/whorehouse called the San Francisco Bar, knows a thing or two about vengeance, but he initially refuses to help Chieh in her plot for revenge since he knows the high price that usually has to be paid (for him it was the loss of his legs). He does give her a job as a waitress at his bar, where we watch how Hsiung deals with unruly customers (he uses his wheelchair as a weapon and is quite handy with it!). As luck would have it, the five rapist brothers are in town, so when Chieh spots one of them outside the bar, she tricks him into driving out to the middle of nowhere for a "snack" (i.e. a blowjob). She manages to tie the guy's hands behind his back and then cuts his ear off with a pair of scissors and finishes him offf by strangling him from behind as he kicks-out the car windshield. One down, four to go. Chieh tricks another brother into thinking he's inheriting some insurance money from his dead brother, but she fails to kill him, even after throwing acid in his face and stabbing him in the back. She is successful in her next attempt, impaling another brother in the stomach with a sharpened pipe while he is filming a porno flick. When the remaining three brothers find out Chieh's identity and kill her blind sister, Hsiung has no choice but to join Chieh in her quest for bloody revenge. The finale is a non-stop barrage of death in depravity that will make the most jaded gorehound sit up and take notice.  This sleazy, nasty rape/revenge thriller leaves very little to the imagination, as it is full of nudity, blood and scenes of brutal violence. As directed by Nam Nai Choi (a.k.a. "Simon Nam"), who also gave us THE SEVENTH CURSE (1986) and the ultra-violent and campy RIKI-OH: THE STORY OF RICKY (1991), the plot of HER VENGEANCE is your basic "rapist out for revenge" scenario, but the execution is anything but basic. It's absolutely delirious. Not only do we get to see various impalements, stabbings, dismemberments, slashings and head bashings (with exotic pointy fruit!), we are also privvy to the unusual sights of Hsiung bathing his two leg stumps (bot legs are cut-off above the knees) and a finale that is one of the most amazing and demented white-knuckle sequences in recent memory. Without giving too much away, it contains wheelchair-fu, a homemade crossbow and a never-say-die attitude displayed by one of the characters that's remarkable in it's savagery and grace. You'll know what I mean when you see it. If this film does have a fault, it's the subplot about Chieh Ying's friendship and possible romance with young man Hsiao Hao (Kelvin Wong). It's a rather pointless affair, since they will never be able to consummate their relationship (She's riddled with an STD after all!), but he eventually becomes a victim of his desires. While trying to stop Chieh from killing one of her rapists, he pays for it with his life. If you ever wondered what a Hong Kong version of I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE (1978) would look like, here it is. What an amazing piece of trash cinema. Search it out. Would make a good double feature with Dennis Yu's THE BEASTS (1980). Also starring Wong Ching, Billy Chow, Shing Fu On, Shum Wai and Chan Ging as the rapist brothers and Elaine Kam as Susan, one of Hsiung's bargirls who befriends Chieh and also pays for it with her life. Originally released on VHS and laserdisc by MediaAsia (in Manadrin with burned-in English subtitles) and available on DVD-R from grey market seller Nightcrew Video. Be advised that an alternate version of this film exists on VCD (on the Deltamac label) that edits out nearly all the nudity and violence and replaces them with extended scenes and alternate footage. Not Rated.

IN THE HEAT OF PASSION (1991) - Sexy and effective thriller with many comic moments. Auto mechanic Charley Bronson(!) (Nick Corri of THE LAWLESS LAND - 1988) lands a job on one of those "reality" crime shows portraying a serial rapist loose in the area. He nearly gets killed in real life while hanging out at a local Spanish bar when the patrons mistakenly identify him as the real rapist. While working at the garage he meets the beautiful, married middle-aged Sally Kirkland (who looks great here) whose car breaks down. Charley becomes smitten with her and soon he is donning various disguises so they can engage in acts of lovemaking behind her rich husband's back. He portrays a cable installer so he can screw her in her bedroom while her husband is downstairs. Sally gives him a blowjob in the ladies room of a chic restaurant while her husband is entertaining clients outside. He watches her masturbate while impersonating a busboy at one of her husband's parties. To fulfill one of Sally's fantasies, he dresses as a rapist and attacks her in her bedroom. In the middle of the game, her husband walks in on them and a struggle ensues. Charley accidentally shoots the husband and kills him. He comes up with a plan to blame the crime on the real serial rapist. Things begin to go wrong as Charley begins to realize that there's more to Sally than meets the eye. He begins to check up one her and does not like what he finds. He has another problem: The real rapist is also after him! The biggest irony of all is that he is asked by the host of the crime show (Jack Carter) to return and portray the real serial rapist to re-enact the crime he actually committed! The film has a satisfying conclusion which will shock and surprise. Director Rodman Flender (THE UNBORN - 1991; IDLE HANDS - 1999), who also wrote and produced, turns in a winner here. He has a keen eye for details and fills the screen with eccentric characters and a good dose of humor. This is no comedy though, as the ending will tell. Sally Kirkland (PARANOIA - 1998) turns in an excellent performance and look great in and out of clothes (although some scenes may use a body double). Hot, erotic and entertaining. Available in R and Unrated versions. Go for the unrated. A Concorde Home Video Release.

ISLAND OF BLOOD (1982) - A truly terrible murder mystery where the viewer must guess the identity of the unseen killer. It was originally titled WHODUNIT? and unless you have no more than a kindergarten education, it will not take you long to unmask the psycho. The storyline revolves around a group of aspiring actors sent to the remote Creep Island to make a film. Before long they are being slaughtered in various ways, with the murderer leaving a rock music cassette playing at the murder site. The lyrics to the song match the killing method, as when one of the actors is pushed into a pool filled with boiling water, the lyrics go, "Boil me, boil me, boil me, face to face." With no way to get off the island (their boat has blown up) and no telephone, the motley group of would be actors try unsuccessfully to stay alive. One is impaled on a spear ("Spear me, spear me..."), the producer is blown up ("Burn me, burn me..."), another is killed with a nail gun ("Nail me, nail me..."), still another takes a battery acid shower ("Burn me, burn me..."), the director, Mr. Flem(!), is run through wth a machete ("Stab me, stab me...") and one actor is cut to pieces with a chainsaw ("Saw me, saw me..."). The two remaining cast members think the other is responsible and try their damnest to avoid each other before the real culprit shows his face. (Hint: "Burn me..." is the only lyric played twice.) The supposedly surprise ending isn't much of a surprise (it has to do with making snuff films). Highly derivative of Agatha Christie's TEN LITTLE INDIANS, the only point of seeing this film is some decent makeup effects. The acid shower and chainsaw attack are particularly meaty, but the acting and hackneyed screenplay as well as some extremely choppy editing are way below par. The only recognizable actor in this mess is Rick Dean, who later became a contract player for Roger Corman's Concorde Films, appearing in HEROES STAND ALONE (1989), BLOODFIST 3: FORCED TO FIGHT (1991), Cirio Santiago's RAIDERS OF THE SUN (1991), CARNOSAUR 3 (1996) and, in his best role to date, as a mysterious bum in Dan Golden's underrated erotic thriller NAKED OBSESSION (1990). Director Bill Naud, who started out directing cheap 60's fare such as THUNDER IN DIXIE (1964), also made the black actioner BLACK JACK (1972) and the boxing comedy RICKY 1 (1988), an asinine ripoff of the Sylvester Stallone ROCKY series. ISLAND OF BLOOD can be summed up with the following lyrics: "Spare me, spare me...". An Applause Prods. Home Video Release. Rated R.

THE KILLER MUST KILL AGAIN (1973) - Giorgio Mainardi (George Hilton) and his rich bitch wife, Norma (Teresa Velasquez), are having marriage problems. Norma has cut his bank account off, so Giorgio storms out of the house. He stops at a phone booth to call his mistress when he spots a killer (the skull-faced Michel Antoine) disposing a dead female body in a river (we earlier see the killer load the dead woman's body into a VW Beetle and he cops a feel after positioning her in the passenger seat!). Giorgio blackmails the killer into murdering his wife and making it look like a kidnapping (he takes the killer's monogrammed lighter and will only give it back to him once the deed is done) and Giorgio plans on getting a big ransom payday from Norma's wealthy father. Being a psychopath, the killer (we never learn his name, but his lighter has the initials "D.A." on it, certainly a tip-of-the-hat to giallo master Dario Argento) strangles Norma and puts her corpse in the trunk of his car, while Giorgio is at a party building an alibi. Complications ensue when a young couple, Luca (Alessio Orano) and Laura (Cristina Galbo), steal the killer's car and take it for a joyride, unaware that there's a dead body in the trunk. The killer steals one of Norma's neighbor's cars and goes hunting for the couple and his car. Meanwhile, when Giorgio gets home, he finds the police waiting for him. The police inspector (Eduardo Fajardo) is suspicious of the whole crime, which makes Giorgio nervous. The biggest question is why the kidnapper would steal a neighbor's car when neighbors saw the kidnapper's car parked in front of Giorgio's house (It's also a question that Giorgio can't answer since he's unaware of the complications the killer is going through). Luca and Laura have a few close calls (including being stopped by a cop who comes very close to looking in the trunk) while the killer stays one step behind them cleaning up their messes (He pays off a gas station attendant when the couple skips out on paying for a fill-up). Giorgio sweats it out back at his house, while the police inspector begins piecing the puzzle together. When Luca and Laura spend a night at a deserted seaside villa, Luca takes the car to get some food and the killer enters the villa and rapes Laura. When Luca returns (with a new female friend), Laura breaks free and stabs the killer to death. After the police inspector questions Luca and Laura, he lays a trap which he hopes will bring Giorgio's true colors to the forefront. Giorgio falls for it and ends up being charged with much more than his role in his wife's murder. He should have gotten rid of that damned lighter.  This Italian/French co-production, directed and co-scripted by Luigi Cozzi (STAR CRASH - 1978; ALIEN CONTAMINATION - 1980; THE BLACK CAT - 1989) and produced by Umberto Lenzi (ALMOST HUMAN - 1974), is a decent thriller, even though there isn't anyone here who can remotely be considered likable. We all know from the beginning that Giorgio and the killer are bad men, but Luca and Laura fail to build much sympathy, especially when we find out that Luca stole the car just to get into Laura's pants and that Laura (who may be a virgin) uses that knowledge to cocktease Luca into doing her bidding. Toss in robbing a gas station attendant and Luca hitting on a blonde (Femi Benussi) he picks up on the side of the road when he's running an errand for the blueball-inducing Laura, and these two kids look no better than Giorgio or the killer. When the killer rapes Laura, it's intercut with scenes of Luca screwing the blonde in the back seat of the killer's car. It's a powerful and ironic scene, but it would have been much more powerful if the kids were at least likable. As it stands, THE KILLER MUST KILL AGAIN is a sleazy, but not very bloody or violent thriller (there's only one very bloody murder and a face slashing that happens near the end of the film) that holds your attention thanks to some tense situations. Although categorized as a giallo by many reviewers, this film doesn't contain the elements usually found in most giallo films (i.e. mysterious gloved killer; POV shots; lots of bloody killings), though director Cozzi bathes a lot of scenes in yellow. Try to count how many yellow objects you observe in this to see what I mean. If it were a drinking game, everyone would be drunk after the first twenty minutes. The skeletal Michel Antoine makes an imposing, scary killer, but I just wish there were some people here we could actually care about. Filmed as IL RAGNO ("The Spider) and also known as THE DARK IS DEATH'S FRIEND and THE KILLER MUST STRIKE AGAIN. Made in 1973, but not released until 1975. Also starring Dario Griachi, Luigi Antonio Guerra and Carla Mancini. Available on DVD from Mondo Macabro. Not Rated.

THE KILLER RESERVED NINE SEATS (1974) - Ten people arrive at a deserted theater, owned by Patrick Davenant's (Chris Avram; A BAY OF BLOOD - 1971) family, for Patrick's birthday party and someone is knocking them off one-by-one. All the people gathered here have secrets they would kill to keep. Kim (Janet Agren), who is married to rich businessman Russell (Howard Ross), is having an affair with playboy Duncan Foster (Gaetano Russo). Duncan, in turn, is dating Patrick's sister, Lynn (Paola Senatore). Patrick's wife, Rebecca (Eva Czemerys), is having a lesbian affair with Doris (Lucretia Love; THE EERIE MIDNIGHT HORROR SHOW - 1974). Vivian (Rosanna Schiaffino) is having an affair with Russell. Albert (Andrea Scotti) owes Patrick a huge sum of money which he has no intentions of paying back. And a mystery man in a nehru jacket (Eduardo Filipone) shows up at various times to talk in riddles. Someone tries to drop a heavy wooden beam on Patrick, but misses, which causes a lot of finger-pointing amongst the partygoers. Things turn worse when Kim is stabbed in the back and killed while performing Shakespeare on stage. The group decide to call the police and then leave, but find the phone line dead and all the doors and windows locked, with no avenue of escape. After pointing fingers at each other once again, the group then realizes that no one there knows who the mystery man is, so they all search for him. Patrick relates a story to Vivian about how a similar incident happened at this theater 100 years earlier (to the day) and everyone inside was murdered. Is it possible that his family is cursed? Doris is the next one killed when the masked killer crushes her sternum with a heavy sliding wooden door. The killer next tries to dispose of Vivian (with a cigarette to her face), but Russell intervenes and they later find him hanging from a rope by his neck. Patrick finds an old family parchment and the drawings on it seem to fortell the order and modes of the deaths. Rebecca is next to die when the killer strips her naked, stabs her repeatedly in the vagina with a switchblade and hammers spikes into her hands, crucifying her. As more people end up dead, we discover who the killer(s) really is (are), but a surprise finale shows the killer(s) may indeed have a family curse of their head(s), and that curse takes an incestuous turn in the crypt in the canvernous dungeon of the theater.  Strikingly similar in tone to Peter Walker's THE FLESH AND BLOOD SHOW (1972) and Michele Soavi's STAGE FRIGHT (1986), this Italian giallo, directed and co-scripted by Giuseppe Bennati, is less bloody than either of those films, but packed with nudity, infidelity (it's hard to keep up with who's screwing who) and a pretty decent mystery. Although some of the dialogue is risable (One of the guests says, "It looks like Dracula's summer home!" when they first step into the theater), the plot is actually very well done and involving. Although talky at times, this film depends on those talky sections to supply the viewer with clues, so listen carefully. While most of the murders are bloodless, there are scenes that are hard to watch, mainly for what's implied rather than what is shown. Rebecca's vaginal penetration by switchblade is never shown, but the killer is shown stripping Rebecca and cutting off her panties with the knife just before he does the deed, leaving little doubt about what he's doing, as we watch him thrust the knife and the camera pans to Rebecca's anguished, pain-filled face. It's the film's standout sequence. Director Bennati (this was his last film; he passed away in 2006) gives us all the giallo staples: A masked and gloved killer, plenty of deaths, an inescapable location and a slowly-unravelling mystery, all served up in a highly-watchable package. Also starring Antonio Guerra. THE KILLER RESERVED NINE SEATS was never legally available in the U.S. on home video. The print I viewed came from a Greek-subtitled VHS tape. Not Rated.

LIZARD IN A WOMAN'S SKIN (1971) - Carol Hammond (Florinda Bolkan; LAST HOUSE ON THE BEACH - 1978) has a recurring nightmare that begins with her running down the aisle of a passenger train trying to open the compartments, but being ignored by the people inside, like she is invisible. The aisle then transforms into the corridor of an apartment complex, full of naked writhing bodies that Carol must run through. At the end of the corridor is a big red bed, and waiting on that bed is a naked Julia Durer (Anita Strindberg; WHO SAW HER DIE? - 1972), a neighbor of Carol's. The nightmare finishes with Julia and Carol engaging in some lesbian sex (Hey, are we sure this is a nightmare? More like a wet dream if you ask me!). Carol's psychiatrist, Dr. Kerr (George Rigaud), tells Carol that what she is dreaming is probably her innermost desires manifesting themselves. Carol is an uptight, "proper" woman, whose dry, boring dinner parties are ruined by Julia's loud, music- filled sex parties in her apartment next door, but we get the feeling that Carol would much rather be over at Julia's place than having a stuffy dinner with her lawyer husband, Frank (Jean Sorel; MURDER IN A BLUE WORLD - 1973), and father, Edmond (Leo Genn). Carol's dreams get more bizarre and violent (such as being chased by a giant swan, watching a woman bleed to death while holding her exposed innards and seeing Julia slashed to death in her bed), so when Julia is actually discovered murdered in her bed, Carol begins to question her sanity. Police Inspector Corvin (Stanley Baker; INNOCENT BYSTANDERS - 1972) and Sgt. Brandon (Alberto De Mendoza; HUMAN COBRAS - 1971) are brought in to investigate Julia's death and they eventually question Carol (who believes she killed Julia with her one-of-a-kind letter opener). Frank (who is having an affair with a yet-unknown woman) becomes worried that someone is trying to set-up Carol by using her dreams as a blueprint for murder, so he goes to Edmond (who owns the high-priced law firm that Frank works for) to gain access to Inspector Corvin's files, especially when he notices Carol's fur coat and letter opener at the crime scene. As we will soon find out, the symbolisms and people in Carol's dreams will be key in unlocking the murder mystery. The audio tapes of her sessions with Dr. Kerr hold the clues to the murders. As more people within Carol's circle end up dead and Carol herself is viciously stabbed by a red-headed man, Inspector Corvin will get involved in a blackmail plot, a hunchback and various other undesirables before unmasking the real killer, who may or may not be suffering from a case of schizophrenia.  This excellent giallo, the first one to be directed and scripted by genre master Lucio Fulci (ZOMBIE - 1979; MURDER ROCK-DANCING DEATH - 1984; A CAT IN THE BRAIN - 1990), contains many striking and unsettling scenes, as well as some very unusual characters. The strangest character of all is Stanley Baker's Inspector Corvin, who has a bad habit of whistling at the most inopportune times, like when questioning suspects or standing over the bodies of murder victims. It's quite disorienting for the audience. Above all, this is a film about secrets. It seems everyone here is harboring at least one (Frank and his mistress; Carol's past; Edmond's suspicions about Frank; etc.), that it's quite possible that anyone here could be the killer. There are also some truly disturbing images on view, including the shocking view of three live dogs splayed open in a lab, their beating hearts exposed while they wimper in pain. It not only takes the viewer by surprise, it also leaves a lasting impression in your mind that won't likely leave for quite some time. While bloody and violent in spots, LIZARD IN A WOMAN'S SKIN (what a great title!) is also one of Lucio Fulci's most cerebral films and will take a lot of fans of his later gore films by surprise. This is a lyrical, haunting film (scored by Ennio Morricone) that offers a lot of brain, as well as eye, candy. Some of the images and camera set-ups are so beautifully done (especially the large shadow of the swan chasing Carol), that they could be paintings and the plot moves at a brisk pace without seeming far-fetched. This is one of the best early 70's giallo films (released theatrically in the U.S. by American International Pictures in edited form inder the title SCHIZOID, which gives away the entire final act!) that is must-viewing for fans of the genre. Also starring Edy Gall, Sylvia Monti, Penny Brown, Mike Kennedy and Ezio Marano. Available on DVD in a beautiful uncut widescreen print from Media Blasters/Shriek Show. Not Rated.

MADHOUSE (1981) - Italian made slasher film lensed in Savannah, Georgia which shares many of the same plot elements as HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME (also released in 1981). Unfortunately it's deadly dull, the boredom broken up by infrequent bits of gore. Julia (Trish Everly) is rapidly approaching her 25th birthday. Her grotesquely deformed twin sister Mary, riddled with a debilitating disease and mentally unstable, escapes from the hospital and starts killing Julia's friends and neighbors with the help of her equally deranged Uncle James (Dennis Robertson) and her pet rotweiller. Mary hates Julia because, since they were both born on the same day, she had to share her presents and the cake with her. Mary, along with Uncle James (who's a priest!), gather all their victims together and give Julia a birthday party she will not soon forget. Though bloody in spots, the film is edited to receive an R rating as is evidenced by the electric drill sequence and the finale (which involves a hatchet). It moves at a snail's pace, taking forever to get going. Dennis Robertson gives a hammy performance as Uncle James, spouting Mother Goose while slashing the cast. Director Ovidio G. Assonitis also made the terrible TENTACLES (1977) and the EXORCIST rip-off BEYOND THE DOOR (1974), both using the name "Oliver Hellman". Here he uses his real name. He must be proud of this one. I was just bored. Also starring Michael Macrae and Morgan Hart. A Virgin Vision Release. Rated R.

MADONNA (1990) - No, this isn't a film about the Material Girl, rather, this is an interesting cheapo thriller, co-written by Ed Adlum (as "Ed Kelleher"), who also co-wrote the abysmal VOODOO DOLLS the same year and directed the cult film INVASION OF THE BLOOD FARMERS in 1972. It opens when a son shoots and kills his father in a diner (after arguing about the son's mistress) and the cook kills the son with a shotgun. The wife of the son pays a private dick to get all the info he can on the woman, but that turns out easier said than done because the P.I. can't find any information on her as she doesn't seem to exist. That woman, who now uses the name Laura (Deborah Mansey), has her sights now set on married ad executive Richard Bloch (Eric Kramer), for reasons that, for now, are still unclear. He at first rebuffs Laura's feminine wiles, but a man can only stand so much. He finally succumbs at a party and the affair is on. Meanwhile, Richard's wife Annie (Pascale Devigne) becomes suspicious of Richard's staying out late with lame excuses (and, somehow, is connected to the father/son murder in the beginning) and the P.I. begins to patch together Laura's past and it's not pretty (DO NOT read the back of the video box if you want to stay surprised as it gives away the film's punchline). Since I'm not about to give away Laura's secret, I'll just say it's not Richard that Laura is after and this is all an intricate plot that is all related to Laura's past and the father/son murder in the beginning of the film. And, yes, the word "Madonna" does play an important part in the plot. Director Alain Zaloum (SUSPICIOUS MINDS - 1997) purposely builds the film slowly. Besides the first murders in the beginning, no blood is spilled until very nearly the end and when it happens, it hits hard because we have begun to care about the characters. For a change, people in this film actually act like real people, as we see Richard turn from loving family man to cold hearted bastard, thanks to Laura's influence. Don't get me wrong. This film is no great shakes, but it is a pleasant diversion from most of the "erotic thrillers" of this time period and the unusual twist to the basic cheating husband syndrome makes this more engrossing than most. This Canadian-made thriller is good for at least one viewing, but is harder than hell to find. If you get a chance to pick this up, do so. Also starring James Horan, Gordon Day and Ray Roth. Also known as MADONNA: A CASE OF BLOOD AMBITION to try to lure idiots to rent it thinking that it had something to do with Madonna's Blonde Ambition Tour. An Atlas Entertainment Corporation Release. Self-Imposed R Rating.

THE MAJORETTES (1986) - This film has a hard time making up its' mind what direction it wants to take. The first two-thirds concerns itself with a slasher dressed in camouflage who is murdering the high school majorettes "One By One" (the film's alternate title). This portion has enough red herrings to feed a large Vietnamese family: There's the retarded janitor who likes to take pictures of the girls in the locker room from his closet peephole; the sadistic nurse who is taking care of the stroke-ridden grandmother of one of the majorettes. She is also the janitor's mother; the crazy drug dealer who got one of the murdered majorettes pregnant; the town priest who babtizes his disciples in a lake (the victims are stabbed then placed in water); and the sheriff (don't read the rest if you want to see the film!). When the retarded janitor accidently photographs the sheriff butchering a majorette in the locker room, this film veers off into many tangents. The nurse, armed with the incriminating photos, blackmails the sheriff to do her bidding. She wants him to kill the majorette related to the grandmother in her care after she turns 18 (two weeks away), so grandma will inherit her $500,000.00. She then plans on giving grandma a lethal injection of insulin so she will inherit it (it's in the will). Things go awry when the majorette in question and a boyfriend are kidnapped by the drug dealer and his gang because the boyfriend ratted to the cops about an arguement the dealer had with the dead pregnant majorette. Are you with me so far? The retarded janitor sees the kidnapping taking place and follows them to an abandoned warehouse. He walks in on the attempted  rape of the majorette and a struggle ensues. The janitor and the majorette are shot dead. The drug dealing gang flee leaving the boyfriend to vow revenge. He grabs an automatic rifle, goes to the gang's hideout and systematically slaughters them. But, you may ask, "What about the sheriff?" He goes to see the nurse, hangs her, leaves his camouflage clothing in her son's darkroom so it will look like he was the killer, takes the incriminating photos and is last seen watching a group of pre-teen majorettes performing their routines. THE END. The premise may sound interesting but it is hampered by a couple of factors. First, the acting is poor, too substandard to carry off the complex storyline. The second factor is the overall cheesiness of the production. This is a barebones production which never rises above a Grade Z level, with its' static camerawork, poor sound quality and lackluster direction. One expects more from screenwriter/producer John Russo and director Bill Hinzman since they were both involved in some capacity with the original NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD. Russ Streiner, also from NOTLD, puts in an appearance here as the water-happy priest. Hinzman later directed REVENGE OF THE LIVING ZOMBIES (aka FLESH EATER), another poor, low-tech film. THE MAJORETTES (based on the novel of the same name by Russo) is a valiant try, but misses its mark by a New York mile. Starring: Kevin Kindlin, Terrie Godfrey, Mark V. Jevicky & Sueanne Seamens/  Dir: Bill Hinzman/  Prod & Sc: John Russo/  A Ross & Hinzman Production/  A Vestron Video Release/A Tempe Video Release/ Available on DVD from Shriek Show.