EXPLOITATION
ACHTUNG!
THE DESERT TIGERS (1977) -
Lame Italian WWII war flick which, for about 45 minutes, veers off
into the Naziploitation genre that those spaghetti-benders were so
fond of during the mid-to-late 70's (hence, it's inclusion here). The
plot concerns a platoon of American and British soldiers, led by
Major Lexman (Richard Harrison), who are sent to the Middle East to
blow up a Nazi fuel depot. They complete their task, but are captured
and sent to a P.O.W. camp in the middle of the African desert, run by
nasty SS Captain von Stolzen (Gordon Mitchell), who is so mean he
orders a man to be whipped even though he is dead. There's also the
Ilsa-like Dr.
Lessing (Lea Lander), who performs illegal experiments and torture
on the male and female prisoners, including castration, flogging and
other acts of degradation. When Lexman is made to view all this human
suffering by von Stolzen, he and his platoon, along with fellow
American prisoner Max Tyler (Mike Monty), devise a way to escape the
camp. After a couple of setbacks, they escape into the African desert
and bring Dr. Lessing along as a prisoner. Captain von Stolzen sends
his troops out to find them, but Lexman and his men prove to be much
tougher than the Captain expected. Lexman and his men lay waste to
several Nazi desert outposts, steal some vehicles and head back to
the prison camp, but Dr. Lessing breaks free and kills everyone
except Lexman (she runs out of bullets). In what has to be the worst
ending in recent memory, Lexman throws a shovel at Dr. Lessing's feet
and says, "Dig!" Cut to the closing credits. Directed
without an ounce of flair or originality by Luigi Batzella (THE
DEVIL'S WEDDING NIGHT - 1973) using his "Ivan
Kathansky" pseudonym, this film is nothing more than a mixture
of badly-staged war action (with plenty of stock footage from other
films) and Nazi war camp atrocities. You will witness a man having
his penis lopped-off with a machete, women beaten and stripped naked
(with one woman forced to walk on her hands and knees while being
whipped with a riding crop), Max being forced to drink another man's
urine (he throws it in von Stolzen's face and is shot in the head)
and, of course, a Nazi orgy featuring naked female prisoners being
forced to have sex. The script (also by Batzella) tries to justify
all this depravity and degradation by making Captain von Stolzen a
homosexual (he can be seen kissing a transvestite at the orgy) and
Dr. Lessing a S&M loving lesbian (who likes to be whipped by her
female assistant). Thankfully, at the 45 minute mark, the film
reverts back to a straight war film, but it is so damn boring and
uneventful, you'll be staring at the clock just begging for it to
end. While there is plenty of full frontal female and male nudity on
display during the first 45 minutes, none of it is the least bit
titilating, which makes me wonder what kind of people enjoy this type
of "entertainment". This is just disturbing. Also starring
Isarco Ravaioli, Agnese Kalpagos, John Brown, Zaira Zoccheddu and
Mauro Mannatrizio. The print I viewed was a DVD-R rip of a
letterboxed VHS Dutch-subtitled print on the Sunrise Video Tapes
label under the original title of KAPUT
LAGER: GLI ULTIMI GIORNI DELLE SS ("Dead Camp: The Last
Days Of The SS"). Not Rated.
THE
ADULT VERSION OF JEKYLL AND HIDE (1971)
- This
sadistic early-70s relic tells the story of Dr. Christopher
Leader (Jack Buddliner) who, while browsing through an antique store
with his fiancee Cynthia (Jennifer Brooks), comes across the diary of
Dr. Jekyll. He returns to the store after hours and demands to buy
the book. When the shopkeeper refuses to sell it, the doctor
strangles him. He brings the book home and begins reading it.
Flashbacks show Dr. Jekyll (Buddliner again) drinking his formula and
turning into
his alter ego. Mr. Hyde picks up a prostitute, whips her bloody, ties
her to a bed, rapes her and, in a finishing touch, shoves a red-hot
poker up her vagina! Dr. Leader tries to duplicate the formula, but
has much different results than his predecessor. Instead of turning
into a Mr. Hyde, Dr. Leader transforms into a horny Miss Hyde (Jane
Tsentas). Initially shocked at the results, Dr. Leader learns to make
the best of the situation (since now the horny doctor can have the
best of both sexual worlds). Dr. Leader reads more of the diary and
in flashbacks we see Mr. Hyde brutally bludgeon and rape another
prostitute. Dr. Leader decides that Dr. Jekylls problems with
his murderous double will not happen to him. That is not to be the
case. The police find the dead shopkeeper and clues lead them to Dr.
Leader. To avoid the cops, Dr. Leader hides in the body of Miss Hyde.
Dr. Leaders alter ego seduces his nurse (Rene Bond), whom he
has boned many times before as a man. Since the police are staking
out his residence, Dr. Leader can only leave his home as Miss Hyde.
She goes to a bar, picks up a sailor and castrates him with a
straight-razor, holding his dismembered dick in her hand while she
watches him bleed to death. Miss Hyde then tries to seduce Detective
Russo (Harry Schwartz), but she fails in her attempt at killing him.
Poor Cynthia is next. Promising to tell Cynthia the whereabouts of
her missing fiancee, Cynthia agrees to meet Miss Hyde at her
apartment. Miss Hyde strangles Cynthia, forcing her to pass out. Miss
Hyde is about to rape her when Detective Russo intervenes. Miss Hyde
gets tossed out a window and dies, as we view the twisted body of Dr.
Leader lying on the pavement below. This poverty row flick (released
by David F. Friedman) is heavy on the sleaze and nudity (full male
and female nudity with simulated sex) but it is so badly acted and
photographed (by screenwriter Robert Birch) that it is almost not
worth your time. Almost. The sex scenes are dubbed with so many
"oohs" and "aahs" that they become
unintentionally hilarious instead of titillating. The phony English
accents in the flashback sequences are also funny. Mr. Hyde sounds
like Blackbeard the Pirate. The violence is brutal, but never
believable. Director Lee Raymonds (using the pseudonyn "L.
Ray Monde") pedestrian approach to filmmaking destroys any
tension that may be had from the violent sequences. Producer Byron
Mabe ("B. Ron Eliot" here) is better known as the director
of SHE
FREAK
(1967) and star of THE
DOBERMAN GANG
(1972). I was too young to see this "Adults Only" feature
when it was released to theaters and after viewing it today I would
have to say that THE
ADULT VERSION OF JEKYLL AND HIDE
should be only viewed as a curio from an era of filmmaking that we
shall never see the likes of again. I didnt care for it but you
may. A Something
Weird Video Release.
Not Rated.
AMAZONIA:
THE CATHERINE MILES STORY (1985) -
This film came late in the Italian jungle genre and, taking into
consideration on who directed it, I wasn't expecting much. It turns
out I was correct because, even if you were expecting to be
entertained for all the wrong reasons, this film is a dog. A little
tiny dog with dried shit caked on its ass. This film also claims that
it was based on a true story but, unless you think Tarzan is a real
person, I highly doubt it. All this is is a gender reversal of SACRIFICE!
(1972), without any of the redeeming qualities.
The
film opens with Catherine Miles Armstrong (Elvire Audray; SCORPION
WITH TWO TAILS - 1982) telling her story to a British
journalist. The film then flashes back to a South American country,
where Catherine is on trial for two murders. To make things even more
confusing, the film has a flashback within a flashback, as Catherine
defends her life and tells the court the circumstances that brought
her here.
On her 18th birthday, Catherine and her parents take a trip down the
Amazon River on her rich Daddy's (Rik Battaglia; CONQUEROR
OF THE ORIENT - 1960) yacht. Following them are her mother's
(Grace Williams) sister (Alma Vernon) and husband (Andrew Louis
Coppola), who are both on Daddy's payroll. They take a short break
and pull over to the bank of the river, where Mommy is shot in the
eye with a curare-tipped dart (she is also shot in the breast with an
arrow) and Daddy is shot in the neck, both of them dead with their heads
cut off. Catherine is shot in the arm with a dart, but she survives,
passing out from the deadly poison. When she wakes up, she finds she
has been taken prisoner by a tribe of headhunters, tribe member
Umukai (Will Gonzales) holding Mommy's decapitated head by her hair.
What happens next is old hat when it comes to Italian jungle/cannibal films.
After watching real-life animal slaughter footage, where a leopard
rips apart a baby doe, we watch as Catherine learns the customs and
rituals of the native tribe. Umukai takes a shine to her, cutting the
head off a rival tribe member who tries to kidnap her. Catherine's
Aunt and Uncle form a search party to look for her. Catherine is led
naked through the natives' village, where tribe members offer the
Chief animals in order to own Catherine as their slave. Umukai makes
the best offer and we watch as he rapes Catherine (she likes it and
they become lovers!). One day, Catherine escapes the village, running
through the jungle topless (she watches in horror as a leopard kills
and eats a monkey), but she has no idea where she is going and the
tribe recaptures her. She is punished by the Chief, who inserts a
wooden dildo into her, holding the bloody dildo in the air for
everyone to see.
All of this is punctuated by Catherine's narration, as she explains
her plight to the court and the prosecution tries to get the jury to
look at her as a murderess (but who did she kill?). Her jungle
adventure is also interrupted by footage of the search party. Since
we already know the answer to the question: Will she escape from the
tribe the tribe? and we already are almost certain of whether she
will be found not guilty (The London footage in the beginning of the
film almost answers that question), all this film has to offer is
stock jungle footage, scenes of topless native women and "seen
this done much better" footage of Catherine's trials and
trevails. It tries to be different in the finale when it is revealed
that Catherine's Aunt and Uncle killed her parents (to inherit their
fortune) and hired the tribe to kidnap her (Umukai also understands,
and reveals to her that talks, English!). The closing scenes show
Catherine surprising her Aunt and Uncle in bed in a hotel room, where
she paralyzes them with curare-dipped darts and then cuts their heads
off with a hatchet. Now you know why she was on trial for murder. It
turns out she was found not guilty by reason of insanity and spent 8
years in a mental asylum. We then see Catherine sitting on a bench in
a London park and crying over Umukai, who committed suicide when she
left the tribe!!!!
Directed by Italian hack "Roy Garrett", who is actually is
Mario Gariazzo, the man who gave us the abysmal E.T.
Clone BROTHER FROM SPACE
(1984), the poor EXORCIST clone THE
EERIE MIDNIGHT HORROR SHOW (1974) and, in what I think is
his best film (and believe me when I say it doesn't mean much), THE
EYES BEHIND THE STARS (1977). This film is bad, from the
derivative screenplay (by Franco Prosperi, the director of the much
sleazier THE LAST
HOUSE ON THE BEACH - 1978), the atrocious acting, cut-rate
makeup effects to the lethargic pacing, it's puzzling why it was made
at all.
Believe it or not, this actually got a theatrical release in the
U.S. (by Empire Pictures)in an edited, R-Rated version titled WHITE
SLAVE. This edit was also released on fullscreen VHS by
Force Video (A sublabel of Wizard
Video). Full Moon
released a port of this tape on fullscreen DVD as part of their "Full
Moon's Grindhouse Collection" (Charles Band ran Empire
Pictures, owned Wizard Video, as well as being head honcho of Full
Moon). This review is based on the Media Blasters/Shriek Show
widescreen and uncut DVD (the print title is SCHIAVE
BIANCHE ["White Slave"]), which I purchased in an
OOP box set titled JUNGLE
GIRLS TRIPLE FEATURE. The set also includes two Jess Franco
films, DIAMONDS OF KILIMANDJARO
(1983) and GOLDEN TEMPLE AMAZONS
(1985), films I won't be watching since I am not a Franco fan. The
print on the DVD is colorful, but not perfect and the disc contains
an easter egg (remember them?) that contains the opening English
credits of the film. No Blu-Ray at the time of this review. Do
yourself a favor and forget you ever heard of this film (I wish I
could). Believe it or not, this film is also known as CANNIBAL
HOLOCAUST 2. Also starring Dick Campbell, Dick Marshall (two
Dicks are better than one!), Mark Cannon, Sara Fleszer, James Boyle
and Jessica Bridges. Not Rated.
ANDY
WARHOL'S BAD (1977) - Bad taste
black comedy about Hazel Aiken (Carroll Baker), who runs a murder-for-hire/electrolysis
shop in her home. Hazel prefers to use women as her hitmen, but is
forced to hire L.T. (Perry King) when no woman will take a job
involving killing an autistic boy. L.T. is forced to live with Hazel
when the job is delayed and he interacts and fucks around with the
other inhabitants of the Aiken household: Hazel's daughter,
mentally-slow Mary (Susan Tyrrell), and her illegitimate black baby;
Hazel's mother (Mary Boylan), who never stops smoking or hacking; and
Hazel's husband (Gordon Oas-Heim), who is oblivious to everything
that's going on and who's main job seems to be putting flyers for
Hazel's business on parked cars. We then meet some of the hitwomen
and the murders they commit. One woman crushes an "illegal
alien's" legs under an auto hydrolic lift, cuts off his finger
(for her personal collection) and then takes a Polaroid of the body
as proof for the client (who wanted retribution because the illegal
alien pushed her husband into an oncoming subway train, severing his arm).
A sister hit team, Glenda (Geraldine Smith) and Marsha (Maria
Smith), is hired by an angry gassy woman to kill an ex-cop's
(Lawrence Tierney) dog, because he made fun of her shorts when they
were in a bar! Glenda and Marsha then take Mary to the movies,
where Marsha (who's a pyromaniac) sets fire to the theater, killing
fourteen of the patrons (She laughs about it when watching a news
report on TV the next day). The sisters steal a car (which Marsha
also sets fire to while Glenda is still driving it!) and leave Mary
on the street, where she is raped by a black thug. The next night,
Glenda and Marsha beat-up the ex-cop and stab his dog. After a
particularly nasty episode involving a baby and a highrise window,
L.T. gets the phonecall that the mom is ready to have her autistic
son killed, but Mary overhears the conversation and tries to warn the
boy's father, but he brushes her off (turns out that the guy she
talked to wasn't the father but a visiting plumber!). L.T. enters the
boy's bedroom, takes a look at the boy (and throws him across the
room) and finds himself unable to kill him (He picks up the boy, goes
to the parent's bedroom and says to the mother, "You do
it!"). Things fall apart for Hazel when her disappointed clients
start giving her a hard time (the ex-cop's dog lived, the autistic
boy's mother is pissed and a crooked cop pays a visit) resulting in
Hazel being drowned in her own kitchen sink. A most fitting end for a
woman so vain about appearances. While this film is basically
nothing but a series of outrageous set pieces, it's not without it's
twisted charms. Not one person in this flick acts normal or has any
morals at all, whether it's Hazel trying to stiff the blind newstand
guy by telling him the one dollar bill she handed him was actually a
five dollar bill, L.T.'s constant lies (I doubt anything he says to
anyone in this film is the truth) or the crooked black cop, Detective
Hughes (Charles McGregor), who blackmails Hazel into giving up some
names of her clients so he can pad his arrest record. Most of the
actors in this speak with thick New York City accents (filmed on
location) and some of the dialogue they speak is hilarious. Glenda
says in the theater: "I only do blacks. Let's take one home.
Daddy said he'd chop my head off if he saw me with a nigger!"
You know this film is special when Susan Tyrrell (NIGHT
WARNING - 1981) is the most laid-back person in the cast.
She plays the role of Mary as a woman-child, who just happens to have
a child (she drops it on it's head on several occasions), but Hazel
takes her welfare checks and uses them for herself. You actually feel
sorry for her as the film progresses. Carroll Baker is downright
nasty as Hazel. She has no sympathy for anyone (even her daughter)
and is such a money-hungry bitch, she even has a lock on the phone so
no one else uses her "messaging units". The film's standout
(and gross-out) scene comes when a distraught mother tosses her
crying baby out a highrise window and we watch it fall until it
splatters against the sidewalk, splashing blood all over a passing
woman. A mother then tells her young son as they are staring at the
dead baby, "That's what I'm going to do to you if you don't shut
up!" Cruel, shocking and hilarious. Much like ANDY
WARHOL'S FRANKENSTEIN and DRACULA,
Mr. Warhol had very little to do with this (he gets a Production
credit, but I doubt he ever set foot on the set). This is director
Joe Johnson's only directorial credit (he died at the age of 47 in
1996, in the explosion aboard TWA Flight 800), but he worked on
various Warhol films as Cinematographer, Associate Producer and
Editor. Also starring Kitty Bruce, Brigid Polk, Cyrinda Foxe, Tere
Tereba and Stefania Casini (ANDY
WARHOL'S
DRACULA - 1974; SUSPIRIA
- 1977; THE BLOODSTAINED SHADOW
- 1978) as members of Hazel's hitwomen squad. An Embassy
Home Entertainment Release. Originally Rated X, but later
cut to achieve an R Rating. Judging from the baby-tossing
scene, not much seems to have been cut.
THE
ARENA (1973) - When the Italian
"peplum" films (or "Sword & Sandal" as they
were also called) began to fall out of favor after fifteen years of
popularity, Executive Producer Roger Corman decided to update the
genre to fit into the swinging 70's, adding generous female nudity,
gory violence and, above all, role reversals, where the female
characters were the ones empowered and the male characters were
either window dressing or ineffectual villains. This Italy-lensed New
World Pictures production is one of the better examples of that
genre, thanks to the talent both in front and behind the cameras. The
film opens with an army of Centurians raiding various villages,
killing the men and taking the women to be sold into slavery. The
women, which includes Bodicia (Margaret Markov; THE
HOT BOX - 1972); Mamawi (Pam Grier; BLACK
MAMA, WHITE MAMA - 1973; also starring Markov); Deidre
(Lucretia Love; BATTLE OF
THE AMAZONS - 1973) and Livia (Marie Louise), are brought
to the town of Brundisium, where they are bought at a slave auction
(for forty pieces of gold) by the obviously gay Priscium (Sid
Lawrence), who brings the girls to a gladiator training camp, where
they will be used as slaves and whores. Their brutal trainer,
Cornelia (Rosalba Neri; LADY
FRANKENSTEIN - 1971; here using the name "Sara
Bay"), abuses the women worse than the men do; putting them in
huge bird cages as trophies for the gladiators and their masters to
ogle and Bodicia is gang-raped when she slaps the face of master
Timarchus (Daniel Vargas). Bodicia is assigned to be the lover of
champion gladiator Marcus (Vic Karis) and they actually fall in love,
as does Mamawi and her assigned gladiator, Quintus (Jho Jhenkins),
who happens to be a member of her own tribe. When Bodicia and Mamawi
are forced to watch their lovers being slaughtered in the arena by
hulking gladiator Septimus (Peter Cester), they get into a fight with
the other female slaves when one of them offhandedly remarks that
Quintus was "only a black". After watching the women fight,
Timarchus gets the bright idea of training the women to become female
gladiators and pit them against each other in arena matches. It turns
out to be a giant hit with the spectators when Bodicia defeats a
drunk Deidre in the arena without killing her, but the spectators
eventually grow tired of the shenanigans and demand blood, forcing
Mimawi to kill Lucinda (Mary Count), Septimus' lover and mother of
his child, in the arena. The next arena match is to be between
Bodicia and Mimawi, but Bodicia talks a changed Septimus into helping
the women escape. When Septimus decides to kill Timarchus on his own
and fails (losing his life in the process). Bodicia and Mimawi are
forced to fight to the death in the arena, but they have a plan that
ends with Timarchus in the arena begging for his life. This leads to
a revolt, where the women are aided by the gladiators, much to the
fickle spectators' glee, and escape in the catacombs beneath the
city. Who will survive? This compact little exploitationer,
directed by Steve Carver (BIG BAD MAMA
- 1974; CAPONE - 1975; BULLETPROOF
- 1987) and written by John William Corrington & Joyce Hooper
Corrington (BATTLE
FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES - 1973), isn't going to win any
awards for originality, but it is an enjoyably bloody romp
nonetheless. Besides showing off the ample assets of the beautiful
female cast (Margaret Markov met producer Mark Damon on the set of
this film and they married shortly after) and plenty of stabbings and
impalements, THE ARENA is also
notable for its behind-the-camera personnel, including Joe Dante (PIRANHA
- 1977) as Editor and Aristide Massaccesi (a.k.a. "Joe
D'Amato") as Director of Photography (some sources also list
Masseccesi as an uncredited co-director). This movie played for years
on the drive-in circuit on various double and triple bills (sometimes
under the title NAKED WARRIORS)
and it's easy to see why. It packs enough nudity, sex and violence
in its scant 83 minutes to please even the most jaded genre fan.
Russian director Timur Bekmambetov (WANTED
- 2008) remade this film in 2001 as (what else?) THE
ARENA (a.k.a. GLADIATRIX). Also starring Paul Muller,
Dick Palmer, Anthony Vernon, Jann Fox and Anna Melita. Originally
released on VHS by MGM/UA
Home Video (as NAKED WARRIORS, which, at 78 minutes, was
shorn of over five minutes of nudity and violence!) and then on VHS
& DVD by New Concorde Home Entertainment in its unedited form. Rated
R.
THE
AROUSERS (1971)
- Gym teacher Eddie Collins (Tab Hunter of GROTESQUE
- 1987) has a thing for the ladies. Unfortunately Eddie can't perform
sexually (His soldier won't salute) due to his constant watching of
his mother undress while he hid in her closet as a child. His only recourse
is to kill the women he tries to sleep with and stash them in a
pigeon hutch on his roof. Eddie's not a bad guy. He gives his male
students pointers on how to treat the ladies ("Be patient. Give
them room, but not too much.") and walks around like he doesn't
have a care in the world. He's good looking and the women love him.
He hires a prostitute (Roberta Collins of CAGED
HEAT - 1974) to dress as his dead mother, the only way he is
able to achieve sexual gratification. When the roommate (Cherie
Latimer) of the first killed girl reports her missing, the police
come to her apartment, find grass in the bathroom and arrest her!
(This is the 70's after all.) Eddie gets picked up at the beach by a
beautiful girl and they take a shower together. Again, unable to
perform sexually, Eddie stabs the girl repeatedly (and may have
performed necrophelia with her corpse) while calling her a
"slut" and cleans up her body in a tub. When Eddie can no
longer use his prostitute to play his mother (She tries to kiss him
without dressing up as his mother and he spits on her and calls her a
"whore".), he begins to unravel. When neighbors of Eddie's
apartment complex begin to complain of a bad smell coming from the
ceiling, the landlady (Isabel Jewell) tells the neighbors not to
worry (she secretly chained-up the pigeon hutch to kill the birds and
thinks the smell is the birds decomposing). Eddie goes on a muderous
rampage, killing the roomate of his first victim and his wanna-be
girlfriend Barbara (Nadyne Turney). The last time we see Eddie, he is
sitting in the pigeon hutch, staring blankly. This is the first film
of director Curtis Hanson, who would go on to much acclaim for his
multi-award winning L.A. CONFIDENTIAL
(1997), a favorite of mine from the moment I first watched it (it
still has the best gunfight ever committed to film, John Woo
notwithstanding). While Hanson is only cutting his teeth here,
he does get a sympathetic performance out of Tab Hunter, who sheds
his good-guy image that he had for many years before and opened his
career up to play more diverse roles, but unfortunately, mainly in
low-budget garbage. Originally shot in 1971 under the title SWEET
KILL, this film had a short, unsuccessful limited release
under that title and then lingered on the shelf until 1973, when
executive producer Roger Corman had Hanson shoot two days of nudity
inserts to spice-up the film and retitled it THE
AROUSERS. It didn't help the film's boxoffice much. Angus
Scrimm (PHANTASM - 1979) has a
small role here using the name "Rory Guy". This is a good
snapshot of the early 70's that should please the sleaze fans out
there looking for plenty of nudity, sex and violence. Also known as A
KISS FROM EDDIE. An Embassy
Home Entertainment VHS Release. Also available on DVD from Shout!
Factory under the title SWEET KILL,
but it is actually THE AROUSERS edit and looks to be sourced
from a VHS master. Rated R.
THE
BAD BUNCH (1976) - Greydon
Clark, not content on writing and directing this morality play (also
released to theaters as THE BROTHERS,
NIGGER
LOVER
and TOM), gives himself the lead
role of Jim, a white Vietnam vet who travels to Watts to deliver a
letter to the father of his black friend who was killed in the war.
Clark (who bears a resemblance to actor Paul LeMat) meets his dead
friend's brother Tom (Tom Johnigarn), a honky hater who proceeds to
beat up Clark with the help of his gang called "The
Brothers." The melee is broken up by two racist cops (Aldo Ray
and Jock Mahoney). When Clark refuses to press charges (he says it
was a friendly misunderstanding) the two cops later handcuff Tom and
beat him senseless. Tom, mistakenly thinking that Clark ratted him
out to the cops, sets out to teach him a lesson. They get into a
fistfight at a pool party where everyone goes skinnydipping. The cops
haul Tom's ass to jail. When he is released, Tom and his gang kill
Ray and Mahoney and gun down Clark at his wedding reception. The film
closes with a quote by Martin Luther King asking for peace among the
races. Jumpy editing, poor production values and inane dialogue are
the main distractions of this exploitation film. Clark is quite good
in the lead role. Maybe he should have stuck with the acting
profession and forsaken the behind the scenes work. He may have had
an accomplished career instead of being known as a hack director and
screenwriter churning out such lines as "I ain't nobody's
nigger!" and "Tom is the name you Uncle Toms gave me. My
name is Makimba!" On the plus side, there is plenty of female
full frontal nudity as well as some good acting from Tom Johnigarn
when he is not muttering some of the racist dialogue. The late Aldo
Ray appeared in many badfilms later in his career, including MONGREL
(1983), BOG
(1978/1983), EVILS
OF THE NIGHT
(1984) and SHOCK
'EM DEAD
(1990). Producer/co-scripter Alvin L. Fast and executive producer
Mardi Rustam also produced and co-wrote Tobe Hooper's EATEN
ALIVE
(1976). A United
Home Video Release. Available on DVD from VCI
Entertainment as part of a double-feature, with Clark's HI-RIDERS
(1978) Rated
R.
THE
BAMBOO HOUSE OF DOLLS (1973) -
This is a brutal Hong Kong exploitation film that takes place at a
sadistic women's concentration camp run by the Japanese during World
War II. The film opens with a squad of Japanese soldiers invading a
Red Cross mobile hospital unit looking for a downed American pilot.
After callously shooting some Chinese locals and the American pilot,
the soldiers grab the nurses, including Jennifer (Birte Tove, a
Danish actress who starred in several 70's Hong Kong films), Mary
(Roska Rozen) and Elizabeth (Niki Wane), and send them to the
notorious 13 Womens Camp, where they are tortured, raped (by both the
male and female guards) and treated like human waste. After being put
through a litany of abuses, usually at the behest of head lesbian
guard Mako (Terry Liu), the nurses join forces with Hung Yulan (Li
Hai-shu), a fellow prisoner who is an undercover operative in the
Chinese opposition forces and has clues to where a fortune in stolen
gold is hidden that could help the opposition defeat the Japanese.
One of the male guards at the camp is actually an undercover operative
and he helps the women escape, but their freedom is short-lived when
it is revealed that one of the women prisoners is a traitor (her
identity is not revealed yet), they are all recaptured and the
undercover guard is shot and killed. When Mako and her male superiors
find out about the hidden gold, they torture Hung Yulan with electric
shocks to get her to give up the location. Mako and her superiors are
not able to extract the information from her, so they decide to let
Hung Yulan and her new friends escape and follow them to the hidden
gold (Mary is killed in the escape, but her dying words are, "I'm
not the traitor!"). As the group gets closer to the gold, the
traitor leaves a marked trail for Mako and a squad of Japanese
soldiers to follow. When the traitor kills blind female prisoner
Huang Hsai (Lo Hsai-ying) for discovering her identity, she is
finally outed and a trap is laid for Mako and the other Japs by the
opposition forces. In true Hong Kong fashion, not even the good girls
(and guys) survive in the extremely bloody finale. The first
thing you'll notice about this Shaw Brothers production, directed by
Kuei Chi Hung (THE KILLER SNAKES
- 1974; THE IRON
DRAGON STRIKES BACK - 1979; THE
BOXER'S OMEN - 1983), is how sexually graphic it is for a
1973 Hong Kong film. Hardly a minute goes by without a shot of naked
female breasts and there are also several instances of full-frontal
nudity, as well as leering close-ups of panty crotch shots. It's
obvious that this film was made as a cash-in to the sudden popularity
of the drive-in WIP films like THE BIG
DOLL HOUSE (1971) and THE BIG
BIRD CAGE (1972), but BAMBOO HOUSE OF DOLLS takes the
genre a step further, adding an air of historical reference (the
Japanese mistreatment and illegal experimentation of prisoners during
the war) and an extremely nasty tone not seen in films of this type
at the time. Not only is rape prevalent, violence also runs rampant,
as women are shot, stabbed, bludgeoned, electrocuted and, in one
instance, Mako forces the prisoners to take turns whipping one of
their own until she is dead. This being a Hong Kong production, all
the Japanese are portrayed as heartless, raping bastards and bitches
that laugh at the sight of human suffering. There's plenty of good
action set-pieces on view, especially during the final third,
including a pretty decent car jump gag, lots of bloody sword and
gunplay and a smattering of martial arts action. Mix that with plenty
of girl-on-girl action, Mako's delirious death by rolling off the
side of a mountain in a metal barrel (it really must be seen to be
appreciated), hordes of snakes (a Hong Kong staple) and a typical
downbeat finale and what you end up with may not be the feel-good
movie of the year but, boy, it's an entertaining one. Also starring
action star Lo Lieh (BLACK
MAGIC - 1975) as the rebel guard who assists the women in
their final escape (and is the only person left alive by the time the
film concludes) and Wang Hsia (OILY
MANIAC - 1975) as the merciless male commander of the camp.
His death is memorable. This did receive a U.S. theatrical release in
the mid-70's in a heavily edited R-rated cut. As far as I can deduct,
this never has a legitimate VHS release in the States. Available on
DVD in a nice widescreen unedited print from Celestial
Pictures. Not Rated.
THE
BEASTS (1980) - Five teens go
camping in the woods, including brother Wah (Eddie Chan) and sister
Ling (Patricia Chung), when they run into an inbred mountain clan in
this Hong Kong rape/revenge thriller. After about a half hour of
"character development", the mountain clan gang-rape Ling
and kill Wah, by pushing him into a wild boar pit full of bamboo
spikes. The police are called in, but the mountain clan's elder
blames the campers for their own misfortunes ("They come here
and destroy the environment!"). The police have two witnesses: Ling,
who is now nothing but a basketcase (She's so far gone, she accuses
her father of being one of her rapists when he visits her in the
hospital), and a local villager (The police put a bag over his head,
with two eyeholes cut-out so he can make an ID of the rapists, who
are in the same room with him!). The mountain clan (who are sometimes
referred to as "disco boys") are able to identify the local
villager by his shoes (!) and pay him a visit once they are set loose
on bail. They bury him up to his neck in pig shit and make him
balance a sharp stick in his mouth, while alcohol is poured down his
throat. Ling and Wah's father (Chen Sing) decides to take the law
into his own hands since the police are so ineffective. Being a
carpenter by trade, he uses tools of his trade in unusual ways to
exact his revenge. The mountain clan go to a bar, where they kidnap a
prostitute and bring her back to the woods, but they fight each other
about who is going to have first dibs with her and she escapes.
Ling's father kills the first clan member, Fu (Ko Chun-Man), by
luring him into a tent (he simply hangs a couple of pair of women's
panties next to it), snaring his leg in a bear trap and then hacking
him to death with a specially-made machete. The second clan member,
Ko (Kwong Tso-Fai), is dropped head-first into a wooden box full of
protruding nails, ripping his head to shreds as he tries to remove
it. When he tries to get the last three clan members in one fell
swoop, the father fails and has to escape (by jumping off a
waterfalls) after being seriously wounded. The clan members think he
is dead, but we know better, don't we? As the remaining clan members
gloat in their perceived victory, the father returns to finish his
revenge and we finally learn just what exactly is being kept in those
covered cages. They like raw meat and growl like a dog. Shit! They're
just dogs! Half the fun of watching this disturbing little
thriller, directed by Dennis Yu (THE IMP
- 1981; EVIL CAT -
1987), is trying to spot how many unlicensed pop and rock tunes you
can hear on the soundtrack. I'm sure I missed a few, but I heard one
from The Police ("Don't Stand So Close To Me"), Genesis
("Stay With Me") and a terrible Hong Kong remake of
Supertramp's "Dreamer". Also, be aware that the version of
the film I viewed was a composite print and contains hardcore footage
during the rape scene (including vaginal penetration by fingers and a
shot
of an erect penis), but seems to be missing some frames of gory
violence. This is a film very much in the vein of LAST
HOUSE ON THE LEFT (1972) and I
SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE (1978) but, unfortunately, the
badly-translated burned-in English subtitles look to have been
translated by someone who uses English as a third language, leaving a
lot to be desired and actually destroying some of the tension in the
latter half of the film. As with SPIT, one of the rapist clan,
Mo (Kent Cheng of RUN AND KILL
[1993]), is mentally retarded. He still comes off as the most
sympathetic character here, as he's continually abused by the rest of
the clan, refuses to take part in Ling's rape and has a pet mokkey
named Kiki, who is his only real friend. His constant cries of
"Not my business!" to Ling's father is the only thing that
rings true in a film that's full of unbelievable situations. I was
also bitterly disappointed to find out that it was only dogs being
kept in those covered cages, especially with the buildup they were
giving it. I was expecting maybe an even more feral, cannibalistic
clan member, but finding out that they were only hungry German
Shepherds was the film's biggest letdown. The best scene comes when
Ling's father is being chased by the hungry dogs and he gets them off
his scent by feeding them pieces of Fu's body, who is buried nearby.
The finale also shows that there are more mountain clans to replace
the dead ones, as a trio of new degenerates watch and salivate over a
new bunch of campers they see arriving in the forest. As with most
Hong Kong genre films of the 70's & 80's, snakes are in abundant
supply. They are chopped-up, thrown around, generally abused and used
creatively in one death scene. I was never a big fan of rape/revenge
films, but this one (also known as FLESH AND BLOODY TERROR) is
just offbeat enough to merit at least one viewing. Also starring Wong
Chin, Paul Chung, Wong Siu-Ling and Kwok Man-Po as the
dentally-challenged clan member named Snake. Never legally available
on U.S. home video (I'm sure music rights play a role in that), but
you can find this for purchase at many grey market sites. Not Rated.
THE
BEAUTIES AND THE BEAST (1973) -
What a hoot! Out of all the bad Bigfoot movies I have seen
in my life, this inept, howl-a-minute fiasco has my vote for the
most enjoyable of them all. The film opens up with a badly
manufactured Bigfoot abducting a trio of topless babes from the
forest and taking them to his tastefully decorated cave. Bigfoot then
disappears from view until the last five minutes of the film, as the
story veers off from one tangent to another. College student (and
European mammary queen) Uschi Digard (SUPERVIXENS
- 1973) and her roommate travel to a cabin deep in the woods to
research a term paper (!). They run into four hippies and pretty soon
our two college students are experimenting in free love and
skinnydipping in a lake. Later on a duo of criminals with hunting
rifles kidnap the group and demand to know the whereabouts of a cache
of gold coins. The crooks locate the coins at the cabin of a bearded
old hermit (but not before trying to rape the girls and roughing up
the men). Bigfoot arrives in the nick of time, defeating the crooks
and walking off into the sunset with the old hermit. The End. Huh?
This sexploitation film has plenty of unanswered questions such as,
"What happened to the girls in the cave?", but it is so
offbeat it is sure to keep you occupied. Gratuitous nudity and sex,
70's fashions (including hip-high go go boots), campy dialogue and a
dream sequence involving two naked girls (wearing only gunbelts) in a
Wild West showdown are some of the weirdness on view in this short 62
minute film. You may hate yourself for enjoying it, but there is no
denying it's charm. Director Ray Nadeau (associate producer of FANGS
[1974], producer of THE
MIDNIGHT GRADUATE
[1971] and post-production supervisor of MESSIAH
OF EVIL [1973]) must have escaped from the funny farm just
before making this. One of my favorite discoveries of the past many
years. Available at many video and department stores for under ten
bucks. Grab it! Also known as THE
BEAST AND THE VIXENS. An Applause Productions, Inc. Video
Release. Rated
R.
BIG
BAD MAMA (1974) - Another classic
70's drive-in flick, courtesy of producer Roger Corman and his New
World Pictures. 1932 rural Texas: Wilma McClatchie (Angie Dickinson)
is tired of living the poor life with her two daughters, sexually
promiscuous Billy Jean (Susan Sennett; THE
CANDY SNATCHERS - 1973) and dumb-as-a-fencepost Polly
(Robbie Lee; SWITCHBLADE SISTERS
- 1975). When their Uncle Barney (Noble Willingham) is shot dead by
G-Man Bonney (Dick Miller), Wilma and the girls take over his illegal
whiskey business, but learn after a short while that this is not a
business that women should be involved with, so they head out to
California for a "better life". The rest of the film
details their exploits while they are on their way to California.
Billy Jean and Polly decide to earn extra money by stripping at a
smoker, which upsets Wilma to no end. She enters the smoker with
pistols drawn and robs the place, which makes Wilma and the girls
Public Enemy #1 with Bonney, who is always one step behind them. When
their car breaks down, Wilma and the girls steal a car and money
belonging to a crooked preacher and then head for the next town,
where Wilma tries to cash a bad check at a bank. Enter bank robber
Fred Diller (Tom Skerritt), who decides to pull a stickup at the bank
at the same time. Diller's partner is shot and killed, so Wilma and
the girls pick up the slack and help Diller rob the bank. Wilma and
Diller soon become lovers, which upsets Billy Jean because she had
her eyes on him. While
at the horse races, Wilma meets con man William J. Baxter (William
Shatner) and he becomes the newest member of Wilma's gang. Baxter
becomes Wilma's newest lover, which now opens the door for Diller and
Billy Jean to get it on (Billy Jean even shares him with Polly and
Wilma doesn't seem to mind!). Polly becomes pregnant (she carries a
rag doll with her throughout most of the film as a symbol of her
child-like demeanor) and is wounded when the quintet rob an oil well.
The screwed-up family dynamic of the group is put to the test when
Wilma demands that Diller marry Polly and he tells Wilma that her
really loves her. The gang then crash a party attended by rich,
influential snobs. After robbing then, the gang kidnaps snotty
debutante Jane Kingston (Joan Prather) and hold her for a one million
dollar ransom. Baxter proves how thin his skin is when he leaves the
gang in fear, only to be captured by Bonney. He squeals like a pig
and gives up the time and location of the ransom drop, which leads to
a final big shoot-out between Wilma's gang and Bonney's police force.
Diller is killed in an act of self-sacrifice, but Wilma is also
killed in the getaway, leaving Billy Jean and a pregnant Polly to
survive on their own. This exploitation staple is what drive-in
movies were all about: Plenty of nudity, a smattering of violence,
car chases and lots of gunfights. Director Steve Carver (THE
ARENA - 1973; CAPONE -
1975; LONE WOLF MCQUADE
- 1983) knows exactly what audiences craved, sparing no excuse to get
the women (including Angie Dickinson) naked as much as possible. It's
apparent that Angie Dickinson is not using a body double here (like
she did in the vastly inferior sequel BIG
BAD MAMA II [1987]), although I could have done without the
sight of a naked William Shatner (who hams it up shamelessly here).
The violence is never too bloody, most of it being bloody bullet
squibs or gun violence. The screenplay, by genre vet William Norton (I
DISMEMBER MAMA - 1972; DAY
OF THE ANIMALS - 1976) and Frances Doel, is mostly concerned
with the twisted morality of Wilma, who has no trouble using her body
(or her daughters' bodies) to get her way. Case in point: Even though
Diller got her retarded daughter Polly pregnant, Wilma is again
sleeping with him at the end of the film. Though Wilma apparently
dies for her various sins at the end of the film, Roger Corman (who
was known to milk a good concept until it spits out dust) couldn't
resist reviving her in the ill-advised sequel thirteen years later.
Look closely and you'll spot a very young Sally Kirkland (topless, of
course) in the beginning and Paul Bartel (also this film's Second
Unit Director) as a party guest at the debutante ball. The music
soundtrack, which is banjo-heavy bluegrass, contains the nimble
pickings of Greatful Dead frontman Jerry Garcia. This is also the
first film credit for actor Bill Paxton, who was a Set Dresser here.
When I think of good 70's exploitation, BIG
BAD MAMA immediately comes to mind. Corman, who directed BLOODY
MAMA in 1970, followed this up with CRAZY
MAMA in 1975 (starring Cloris Leachman), which completed his
70's "Mama Trilogy". After this, Angie Dickinson would star
in the successful TV series POLICE
WOMAN (1974 - 1978) and then turn in a terrific performance
in Brian De Palma's DRESSED TO KILL
(1980). Unfortunately, most of her nude scenes in DRESSED were
performed by a body double, but her death in an elevator is a
shocking piece of 80's slasher cinema. Also starring Tom Signorelli,
Royal Dano and William O'Connell. Originally released on VHS by
Warner Home Video and then on DVD by New Horizons Home Video. Rated
R.
THE
BIG BIRD CAGE (1972) - No
discussion of 70's exploitation filmmaking can last long without Jack
Hill's name popping-up and for good reason. Hill not only
jump-started the popular WIP genre with THE
BIG DOLL HOUSE (1971) and this film, he also gave us COFFY
(1973) and FOXY BROWN
(1974), two of the best blaxploitation films ever made, and also the
JD classic THE SWITCHBLADE SISTERS
(1975). And let's not forget his 1964 classic of the macabre, SPIDER
BABY, which would take nearly a quarter of a century to
reach the cult status it so rightfully deserved. He directed one more
film (SORCERESS in 1982,
using the pseudonym "Brian Stuart") and then basically
retired from genre filmmaking. Why he didn't direct more films is a
story that could fill a book, but at least most of his films are
available in some format on home video for us to enjoy over and over
again. The Philippines-lensed THE BIG BIRD CAGE opens with
singer Blossom (Pam Grier) and her guitarist boyfriend Django (Sid
Haig; BLACK MAMA, WHITE MAMA
- 1973; also with Grier) robbing the nightclub they are performing at
(!) and kidnapping American actress Terry (Anitra Ford; INVASION
OF THE BEE GIRLS - 1973) as their getaway hostage, not
knowing that she is the mistress of the country's Prime Minister.
When Django finally realizes who they have kidnapped (it turns out
Terry has slept with quite a few government officials, which prompts
Django to say, "They'd pay me to get rid of you! You ain't
nothing but plain purple poison!"), he jumps
off a bridge to avoid capture (Blossom escapes in a separate vehicle)
and the police arrest Terry as an "accomplice". Since Terry
is an embarrassment to the government, she is sent to a remote
government work camp located deep in the jungle, where Warden Zappa
(Andy Centenera, who kicks a puppy just for the hell of it!) warns
Terry and the other new prisoners that there will be "no
fornication, with anyone, of any kind, ever!" The Warden also
shows them that escape is impossible by giving them all a taste of
his bloodthirsty guard dogs. Meanwhile, Django make the long trek on
foot back to his jungle village, where perturbed girlfriend Blossom
is pissed at him for kidnapping Terry and threatens to cut-off his
balls with a machete (In a hilarious scene, he fights her off with a
plucked chicken, where they fall into a mud puddle and then make
love!). Django and Blossom are the leaders of a group of
"revolutionaries", although none of them are sure what they
are revolting against. Group member Moreno (Subas Herrero) complains
about the lack of female members, so he wonders out loud where they
can find a couple of hundred women. Hmmm... Back at the work camp,
Terry is introduced to the other prisoners, including lesbian Bull
Jones (Teda Bracci; THE
CENTERFOLD GIRLS - 1974) and tall, lanky Karen (Karen
McKevic, in her only film role, which is a crying shame), as well as
watching Warden Zappa's mechanical contraption, a tall bamboo and
wooden gear structure that separates the sugar from the sugar cane,
dubbed "The Big Bird Cage", as it claims the life of
another female prisoner when she gets her hand caught in the gears
and falls to her death. It also seems the only person getting any sex
in this prison without bars is the Warden, who, with the help of gay
guard Rocco (Vic Diaz; SUPERBEAST
- 1972; in a hilarious performance), grabs random prisoners and rapes
them. His latest victim is Lin (Rizza Fabian), whom the Warden
sexually abuses and then blackmails to become a prison snitch, using
Lin's young daughter as insurance she will spill her guts when the
time comes. When Blossom gets sent to the work camp after she and her
group perform a pretty embarrassing stab at being revolutionaries (a
funny scene involving a dud grenade), it leads to a series of events
that culminates in boyfriend Django and the other male
revolutionaries raiding the work camp and freeing the grateful female
prisoners and all the bad guys getting their just desserts. This
being a 70's exploitation film, though, nearly everyone ends up dead
by the film's end. Director/screenwriter Hill mixes equal parts
comedy with gritty violence (including Terry being strung-up by her
hair after an unsuccessful escape attempt), which makes THE BIG
BIRD CAGE one of the best WIP flicks to come out of the
"anything goes" 70's. Every exploitation element is touched
upon, including plentiful nudity by nearly every female cast member;
bloody violence; catfights; torture; gay stereotypes (Sid Haig
pretending to be a homosexual to get close to Vic Diaz is one of the
funniest, if not one of the most offensive slap to gay people, scenes
in 70's genre filmmaking); and gun battles. There's not a boring
moment in this film and I wish that Karen McKevic made more movies
after this because she not only had beauty; she also had a real
screen presence (What happened to her?). Vic Diaz is a scream as gay
guard Rocco (it's one of his best early-70's roles) and some of his
dialogue is simply priceless (as is his final comeuppance at the
hands of the horny female prisoners). THE
BIG BIRD CAGE is exploitation at its best and set the gold
standard for genre films to come. Cirio H. Santiago was an uncredited
Producer on the New World Pictures theatrical release for (also
uncredited) Executive Producer Roger Corman. Also starring Candice
Roman, Marissa Delgado and Wendy Green. Originally released on VHS by
Warner Home Video, followed by a VHS & DVD release by New
Concorde Home Video. Both are long OOP and command big bucks on the
collectors market. Also available on THE
WOMEN IN CAGES COLLECTION, a collection of three films on 2
DVDs, also including THE BIG DOLL HOUSE
(1971) and WOMEN IN CAGES
(1971), released by Shout! Factory.
Rated R.
THE
BIG BUST-OUT (1972) - This obscure
"women in peril" flick relies heavy on the sleaze factor,
as well as plentiful female flesh, but it really is not that
interesting. A group of women are both physically and sexually abused
at a prison in some unnamed Middle East country, so when they
are loaned-out to clean up a convent, they knock out all the guards,
make the nuns strip, escape disguised as Sisters of God and take a
real nun, Sister Maria (Monica Taylor), with them. Their freedom is
short-lived, though, when they are betrayed and sold to white slave
trader El Kadir (Gordon Mitchell). As they are about to be loaded
onto a ship, the ship's captain, Jeff (Tony Kendall), saves them,
steals a truck and drives them to safety. Their truck breaks down, so
Jeff leads them on a long walk through the desert, where they happen
upon an oasis, swim nude in a lake and then are attacked and raped by
some Arab nomads. After having their way with the women (after
knocking-out Jeff) and killing one of the women, the nomads leave.
Nadia (Vonetta McGee) ends up missing, so Jeff and the women go
looking for her. Meanwhile,
El Kadir has sent out a hunting party to retrieve his
"property". Jeff and the girls come across a remote village
inhabited by black burka-wearing women, so they send Sister Maria in
to look for Nadia. She finds Nadia nude, tied-up and being whipped by
a mute retarded Arab man, but before she can save Nadia, Sister Maria
almost gets stoned to death by the burka-wearing women. Jeff and the
girls save the day and, after they kill some Arab marauders, they
steal some horses and ride away. They run into some
"policemen" and kill them when they try to rape the women
and Jeff takes them to a castle in the mountains, only to find El
Kadir and his men waiting for them. Jeff is thrown into the dungeon
and the girls (including Sister Maria) are forced to participate as
playthings in one of El Kadir's drunken orgies. Jeff is set free by
an unlikely ally (who is after El Kadir's hidden loot) and he goes
about trying to free the women. Unfortunately, during the ongoing gun
battle, all but two women (and Jeff) make it out alive. Sister Maria
sacrifices her own life to save Jeff and the two women, who ride off
to safety in the film's conclusion. This badly-dubbed
Italian-German co-production continuously finds new ways to degrade
women (rape is the most frequent method), but the film is cold and
impersonal, like watching a porn film without any "money
shots". Director Ernst R. von Theumer (JUNGLE
WARRIORS - 1984; RED HEAT
- 1985; HELL HUNTERS
- 1986), here using the pseudonym "Richard Jackson", and
scripter Sergio Garrone (who would later direct the Nazi sleazefest SS
EXPERIMENT LOVE CAMP - 1976) don't really offer much to the
viewer besides frequent female nudity and sex (some of which was
edited out to achieve an R rating) and mostly bloodless violence. I
do give the film some points for the location shooting (the mountain
castle is impressive), but there's not much characterization, as all
the women (besides Sister Maria) are interchangable and lack distinct
personalities. Top-billed Vonetta McGee is wasted in a thankless role
(I believe she has the fewest lines of all the women in the film) and
was probably given the top spot to lure blaxploitation fans to this
since McGee starred in three blaxploitation films in 1972: HAMMER,
BLACULA and MELINDA.
Fans of those films must have felt cheated for being falsely-lured
into seeing this. It's funny that a film about a bunch of female
prison escapees would have absolutely no interesting female
characters. The most interesting role goes to genre vet Tony Kendall (RETURN
OF THE BLIND
DEAD
- 1973; WHEN THE
SCREAMING STOPS - 1973; YETI
- 1977), as he manages to save the women nearly every time they get
into trouble. So much for female empowerment. THE BIG BUST-OUT
is a relic from the past that can be best viewed as a precursor to
the naziploitation films that Italy started churning out during the
mid-70's in that it portrays ways to abuse women with a minimum of
plot. If that turns you on, you'll probably like this. I didn't. Also
starring Linda Fox, Karen Carter, Christin Thorn, Mara Krupp,
Margaret (Rose) Keil, Rebecca Mead, Girgio Dolphin, Herb Andress and
William Berger. New World Pictures handled the 1973 theatrical
playdates in the United States. An Embassy
Home Entertainment Release. Rated R.
THE
BIG DOLL HOUSE (1971) - This
film, along with THE BIG BIRD CAGE
(1972; both directed by Jack Hill), has the distinction of
kick-starting the 70's WIP (women in prison) craze. Tough-as-nails
Marnie Collier (Judy Brown) is sent to a "Banana Republic"
prison (actually lensed in the Philippines) for 99 years on a false
murder conviction. After being thoroughly searched in every orifice,
she is thrown in a dingy cell with Alcott (Roberta Collins), Harrad
(Brooke Mills), Bodine (Pat Woodell) and lesbian Grear (Pam Grier),
who takes an instant shine to Collier. The prison's female warden,
Miss Dietrich (Christiane Schmidtmer), is a Bible-quoting she-bitch
who's not above murder to keep her prisoners in line. Bodine plans on
escaping after she gets a smuggled-in letter from her revolutionary
boyfriend telling her that he needs her badly, but someone snitches
to Miss Dietrich about the letter and she has Bodine tortured, first
by suspending her in a small bamboo cage in the blazing sun and then
bringing her to a dungeon, where she is waterboarded and whipped by
brutal head guard Lucian (Kathryn Loder) while some unknown person
watches in the shadows. Bodine is brought back to her cell bloody and
bruised, now even more determined to escape and
join her boyfriend. Two black marketeers, Harry (Sid Haig) and his
new partner Fred (Jerry Franks), make weekly trips to the prison and
supply the women prisoners with a wide range of goods, including
drugs, cigarettes and smuggled information, but it all comes with a
price, mainly sex. When Miss Dietrich catches Alcott having sex with
the inexperienced Fred, she becomes the next torture victim in the
dungeon. Alcott is shocked with electricity by Lucian (she attaches
electrodes to Alcott's nipples and vagina) while the same unknown
person watches in the shadows. The girls put their differences aside
and plan an escape, using a cat and the unwitting duo of Harry and
Fred in their attempt. It almost comes undone when junkie Harrad
stabs Grear in the neck in a fit of jealous rage, killing her.
Collier is then tortured with a cobra by Lucian in the dungeon, but
Alcott, Bodine and Ferrina (Gina Stuart) rescue her, overpower Lucian
and discover the identity of the person hiding in the shadows (it's
Miss Dietrich, who gets her sexual jollies by watching prisoners
tortured and killed!). The girls then break out of prison, but not
everyone will escape with their lives. During the fatalistic, yet
strangely satisfying, conclusion, all the women are either killed or
recaptured, but not before Miss Dietrich receives her just
rewards. This thoroughly sadistic, yet highly watchable,
exploitationer delivers the goods, thanks to the cast of beautiful
female genre vets and the expert direction of Jack Hill, who
also gave us such low-budget classics like SPIDER
BABY (1964), COFFY
(1973), FOXY BROWN (1974)
and SWITCHBLADE SISTERS
(1975). Hill only directed a handful of films in his career, yet he
always seemed to know what audiences wanted: Namely, copious amounts
of nudity and plenty of violence. THE
BIG DOLL HOUSE doesn't disappoint, as every female in the
cast has at least one nude scene (including a boner-inducing fight
between Roberta Collins and Pam Grier in a mud pit) and loads of
mind-boggling violence, usually by the hands of Lucian in her torture
dungeon. This was one of Roger Corman's earliest hits for his New
World Pictures production outfit (both Corman and Cirio H. Santiago
are uncredited producers) and it's easy to see why. Besides Jack
Hill's direction, the cast gives their all here, stripping-off their
clothes, getting into catfights and, finally, working together to
escape their hellhole. It's no wonder this film spawned countless
other WIP flicks. It's well-made, violent (some of the torture
devices are downright bizarre), exciting and, surprisingly, contains
some real human drama. One of the earliest WIP movies to take
advantage of the R-rating and still one of the best. Pam Grier sings
the opening tune, "Long Time Woman". John Ashley and Eddie
Romero were the Executive Producers. Also starring Jack Davis and
Letty Mirasol. Originally available on VHS from Embassy
Home Entertainment and later on VHS and DVD from Corman's New
Horizons Home Video. Since the Walt Disney Company now owns Corman's
New World Pictures library of films, they have slowly been releasing
Corman's exploitation flicks, including this one, on DVD through
their Buena Vista Home Entertainment division. Sometimes this world
is a funny place. Also available on THE
WOMEN IN CAGES COLLECTION, a collection of three films on 2
DVDs, also including THE BIG BIRD
CAGE
(1972) and WOMEN IN CAGES
(1971), released by Shout! Factory.
Rated R.
BLACK
COBRA (1976) - The films of Joe
D'Amato (real name: Aristide Massaccesi) are an acquired taste. When
he is on-target (EMANUELLE
AND THE LAST CANNIBALS - 1977; BEYOND
THE DARKNESS - 1979), his films are nudity-filled,
gore-soaked sleaze classics. When he is off his game (ANTHROPOPHAGUS
- 1980), his films are boring beyond belief. Unfortunately, this film
falls into the latter category, as it runs far too long to justify
its paper-thin plot.
Eva (Laura Gemser; MURDER
OBSESSION - 1981) is an exotic dancer in Hong Kong. She
meets businessman Jules Carmichael (frequent Gemser co-star Gabriele
Tinti; EMANUELLE IN PRISON
- 1983) on a plane and they become fast friends. Jules tells his
brother, Judas (Jack Palance; WITHOUT
WARNING - 1979), that he has got to see Eva's nightclub act,
so they both go, where they see Eva dancing topless with a giant
snake wrapped around her body (it's not really much of an act or a
performance). Judas is instantly smitten, not because Eva is
beautiful (which she is), but because he is a snake lover. He has a
house full of snakes, most of them poisonous and deadly. We soon
discover that Eva is bisexual, as we watch her feel-up an oriental
dancer (Jenny Liang; BLOODY
PARROT - 1981) under a table after she finishes her show
and, later that night, she masturbates in bed dreaming of them making
love. Judas, who considers himself a reptile expert, phones Eva and
invites her to lunch, but he doesn't tell her why. Eva is curious, so
she meets him, but she doesn't know what is in store for her. Judas
takes Eva to his house and he introduces her to his
"friends": a viper (a fer-de-lance) and other deadly
snakes, especially his python and black cobra. Eva is scared, not of
the snakes, but of Judas. He tries to calm her down by saying, "I
like the scent of you!", but she leaves anyway (wouldn't you?).
Eva's oriental manager smacks her around, telling her he is jealous
of her girlfriends, so she strips naked and makes love to him
(setting women's rights back 50 years). Jules talks Eva into going
back to see his brother, where Judas gives her a very expensive
diamond necklace (he can afford it) and she gladly accepts (setting
women's rights back 100 years). Jules is a little jealous of his
brother's relationship with Eva (maybe more than he is showing). At a
party at Judas' house (where we see bottles
of J&B Scotch, an Italian movie staple), Eva meets Candy
(Sigrid Zanger) and they play sex games with Candy's boyfriend Robert
and then with each other, while Jules secretly watches them. Jules
then introduces Eva to Gerri (Michele Starck; SALON
KITTY - 1976) and then immediately leaves (What is he up
to?). While Gerri is putting on a skimpy bikini, Eva walks in and
they make love (Does she ever get tired?). Gerri and Eva then get
naked massages (with hand vibrators) and they get turned-on by
watching each other getting turned-on. At dinner, we learn that Gerri
studies Chinese medicine and that Judas bought Eva a new Mercedes
(setting women's rights back 150 years). Gerri is broke and can't
afford her studies, so Eva gives her money, saying "I love you,
Gerri." (It's not her money, it's Judas', setting back women's
rights 200 years!). Jules and Candy make love and he puts one of
Judas' poisonous snakes on her naked body. Candy screams and Jules
laughs like a madman (If none of this seems to make sense, join the
club!!!). Eva takes Gerri to a lesbian nightclub, where they watch
two Korean girls strip while they dance to some inappropriate music
(it's obvious that they are dancing to music other than what is
playing on the soundtrack).
We are an hour into the film and I was hoping some kind of plot
would kick-in, but this is what you get: When Eva gets to Judas'
house, she finds Candy passed out on the floor and a doctor is taking
her to the hospital. Judas and Jules have to take a long business
trip, so Judas asks Eva to take care of his snakes. She agrees and,
once Judas and Jules are gone, Eva brings Gerri to the house (after
they take a long walking tour through the streets of Hong Kong, where
we watch a street vendor cut up a live snake and fry the pieces in a
wok, which Eva and Gerri happily eat!). They then make love (I hate
to say it, but this is getting tiring!) and take a shower together,
where we learn that Jules didn't go with Judas, as he is spying on
Eva and Gerri as they soap-up their bodies. Eva and Gerri then
take care of the snakes, feeding them live mice (we watch one snake
squeeze the life out of a poor mouse. Why do Italians feel they have
to put real-life animal deaths in their films?). Jules grabs the most
poisonous snake in the house (and Judas' favorite), a green mamba,
and releases it into Eva's bedroom, where she and Gerri are sleeping.
It bites Gerri and she dies (Eva just watches her die, not lifting a
finger to help her, but she grabs the snake and puts it in its
cage!). It turns out Jules is a sadist and doesn't like the fact that
his dead father turned over the business to Judas. Yep, that's the
entire plot!
Indifferently acted, especially by Palance, who doesn't even try to
give his character any emotion. It's apparent he's only in this film
for the paycheck (This was made during his B-Movie period). Palance
starred in many better Italian productions, including THE
COP IN BLUE JEANS (1976) and RULERS
OF THE CITY (1976). Laura Gemser is basically Laura Gemser,
doffing her clothes at the drop of a hat and screwing the person
closest to her. There is no blood or gore in this movie and, man,
could it have used it. Even the snakes lack the proper danger we
expect the slithery creatures to hold. Joe D'Amato was not only the
director and screenwriter, he was also the cinematographer and
besides some beautiful Hong Kong vistas, there's not much eye candy
besides Gemser. Even the "surprise" ending, where Eva gets
even with Jules for killing Gerri by having two oriental men hold him
down while she releases a snake that crawls up his ass, telling him
that it will eat its way out of his body (!), rings hollow. It's all
a case of too little, too late. Where is the sleaze? Where is the
violence? Where is the mind-numbing weirdness? Even Eva dying in the
finale (She plays with the green mamba in front of Judas and it bites
her!) fails to register with the audience. A serious loser from Joe D'Amato.
Filmed as EVA NERA
("Black Eva") and released theatrically in the United
States (slightly edited) by Aurora Film Corporation, followed by a
VHS release from Video
Gems, both under the review title. An uncut fullscreen DVD
was released in 2003 by Brentwood Home Video as BLACK
COBRA WOMAN. The Blu-Ray from Code
Red (which is what this review is based on), titled EMMANUELLE
AND THE DEADLY BLACK COBRA (the title on the print used is
"Black Cobra"), is uncut and in anamorphic widescreen. The
print looks excellent and the colors are bright and vibrant but, no
matter how good it looks, this film just doesn't cut it as
entertainment. If it's nudity and nudity only that you want (lots of full-frontal
female nakedness), this film will float your boat. If it's a
coherent plot you want, look somewhere else. Also featuring Guido
Mariotti. Originally Rated R in theaters, this Blu-Ray is Not Rated.
BLACK
OAK CONSPIRACY (1977) -
Movie stuntman Jingo Johnson (Jesse Vint, who also co-wrote and
co-produced) is summoned to his hometown of Black Oak when his
elderly mother is committed to a nursing home after she suddenly
falls into a coma. Almost immediately after he sets foot back in
Black Oak, he notices the town is quite different than when he left
it, and not in a good way.
Jingo cannot understand why his mother would sell the family farm
and when he goes to check out the old homestead, he finds that it has
been bulldozed over by his old nemesis Harrison Hancock (Robert F.
Lyons; THE TODD KILLINGS
- 1971), who is in charge of a new mining operation on the land.
Harrison is also dating Jingo's old girlfriend, Lucy (Karen Carlson; THE
OCTAGON - 1980), and has the town sheriff, Otis Grimes
(Albert Salmi; EMPIRE
OF THE ANTS - 1977), in his back pocket. Some of the
townspeople, including Lucy's brother Homer (Seymour Cassel; DEATH
GAME - 1977) and old Doc Rondes (Will Hare), are glad Jingo
is back in town because something sinister is going on. Jingo wonders
why his mother and many of the town's other elderly citizens are
patients of the nursing home, but when he discovers that all of the
elderly patients turned over their homes and land to the nursing
home, which is owned by Harrison's father, Bryan Hancock (Douglas V.
Fowley; HOMEBODIES
- 1973), the pieces of the puzzle start falling into place. When
Jingo also discovers that his mother's current condition may be
medically induced by some mysterious pills given to her every night
by the home's nurse (Mary Wilcox; LOVE
ME DEADLY - 1972), who is having an affair with Sheriff
Grimes, the conspiracy becomes personal and, as we all know, you
don't mess with a man's mama, especially when that man is a movie
stuntman. Jingo's mother dies and circumstances snowball into bloody
violence, as Jingo finds out, with Lucy and Homer's help, that some
of the town's most trusted citizens (including Doc Rondes) are deeply
involved in a plot to cheat elderly people out of their homes by
purposely making them sick and infirmed. When it is revealed that
Sheriff Grimes is the brains behind this conspiracy (and he tries to
kill everyone who knows it), Jingo must use every trick in his stunt
book to bring the Sheriff down. This is one in a long line of
Southern hicksploitation flicks that were so popular in the 70's,
thanks, in part, to the popularity of MACON
COUNTY LINE (1974; also starring Jesse Vint and his brother
Alan) and the Burt Reynolds action films WHITE
LIGHTNING (1973) and it's sequel GATOR
(1974). All of these films involve some kind of deep dark secret or
conspiracy going on in town and a returning resident or complete
stranger who m
ust
expose it. Jesse Vint (MERCHANTS
OF WAR - 1988) may not be the best-looking or most
charismatic action hero, but he is quite athletic here, getting into
many fistfights and car chases as his and Hugh Smith's screenplay
will allow. Under Bob Kelljan's (COUNT
YORGA, VAMPIRE - 1970; SCREAM
BLACULA SCREAM - 1973; RAPE SQUAD,
a.k.a. ACT OF VENGEANCE
- 1974) capable direction, the action scenes are well-staged and pop
with excitement. The stunts, including a scene where Jingo uses his
stunt skills to drive a car on two wheels down the highway, are
well-performed and photographed. The exploitation elements, including
nude scenes by Karen Carlson, Mary Wilcox (LOVE
ME DEADLY - 1973) and Janus Blythe (THE
HILLS HAVE EYES - 1977), are plentiful and there is a
wonderful supporting cast of character actors, including James
Gammon, Vic Perrin (the voice of Control on the original THE
OUTER LIMITS TV series) and Peggy Stewart. Most of the blood
is saved for the final 15 minutes, where Albert Salmi blows off
Douglas Fowley's head with a shotgun (in a surprisingly graphic
effects shot that begs the viewer to rewind and watch it again in
slow motion) and then shoots Robert F. Lyons in the back. The finale
, where Vint and Salmi duke it out in a quarry, contains a truly
memorable long shot where Salmi's police car flies over a cliff while
Salmi has the drop on Vint. This sequence, because of the exact
timing, could only be shot in one take and it is pulled-off
flawlessly. This type of shot would easily be done today by using
CGI, but it would certainly lack the immediacy and realism on display
here. Bob Kelljan, who also directed episodes of TV's POLICE
STORY (1973 - 1978), STARSKY
& HUTCH
(1975 - 1979), CHARLIE'S ANGELS
(1976 - 1981) and many other 70's TV series, tragically lost his life
to cancer at the age of 52 in 1982. One can't help but wonder what
other cinematic gems he would have made if his life wasn't cut short.
If you're a fan of 70's exploitation/action films, BLACK
OAK CONSPIRACY should foot the bill nicely. Also starring
Jeremy Foster, JoAnne Strauss and Darby Hinton. Originally available
on VHS from Charter Entertainment
and available on DVD from Shout!
Factory in a widescreen presentation (It's not one of their
better presentations, though, as it looks somewhat good, but little
money was spent on processing this DVD for sale. It seems their Roger
Corman halcyon days are coming to an end.). Rated R.
BLOOD
GAMES (1989) - "Babe And
The Ballgirls" are a traveling all-girl softball team and today
they are playing birthday boy Roy Collins (Gregory Scott Cummins; HACK-O-LANTERN
- 1987) and his all-male team of backwoods hicks from the sticks.
When Babe (Laura Albert; THE UNNAMABLE
- 1988) and her squad of short-shorts-wearing chicks begin to show up
the men (Hillbilly grandstand member Vern [George
"Buck" Flower, here using the pseudonym "Ernest
Wall"] shouts to Roy, "Don't lets those knockers hypnotize
you, boy!"), Roy and his good old boys begin playing dirty,
intentionally tripping the girls as they round the bases and Roy
planting his elbow into Stoney's (Julie Hall) face as she passes
second base. This pisses-off Babe's manager (and father) Midnight
(Ross Hagen; WONDER WOMEN
- 1973), so he riles-up the girls to "kick some ass", which
includes intentionally beaning Roy in the nuts with a softball and
eventually beating the men by a score of 17 to 2. Roy's father, Mino
(Luke Shay), is disappointed in his son ("I lost a thousand
bucks betting on this game!") and vows to get even with the
girls and Midnight (who he owes the thousand bucks to) for making his
birthday boy and the town look like losers. When Vern sneaks into the
girls' locker room to watch them shower (gratuitous full-frontal nudity
alert!), he is caught and humiliated by the girls. Vern tells
Midnight that Mino sent him over to pay the bet, but when he hands
Midnight a hundred bucks instead of a thousand, Midnight heads out by
himself to the local bar to collect the rest of the money he's owed.
Midnight traps Mino (who was once a mercenary) in the bar's bathroom
and forces him to pay up, but a fight breaks out (Midnight dunks
Mino's head into a shit-filled toilet and then bounds and gags him)
and Midnight gets his money and makes a hasty retreat back to the
team bus, only to discover that teammates Mickey (Lisa Zambrano) and
Connie (Sabrina Hills) went to the bar looking for him. Both girls
are now being raped by at knifepoint by Roy and his best friend Holt
(Don Dowe) and when Midnight tries to intervene, Roy stabs him in the
stomach before the rest of the girls rescue him and bring him back to
the bus, where he eventually dies. As the bus tries to get away, Roy
and Holt shoot at it with their rifles, killing the female driver
(she is shot right between the eyes) and forcing the careening bus to
pin Roy between two trash dumpsters, crushing him to death (a fitting
death for white trash). When Mino sees his dead son, he wants revenge
and offers $1,000 for every "bitch" that the hillbilly
locals kill. The bus continues down the backwoods roads and stop at a
gas station to get some help. It turns out to be a trap, but the
girls manage to escape after killing a couple of hicks. Terminal
screw-ups Vern and Holt (Holt: "You drink beer like you
piss!" Vern: "You piss like you drink beer!")
chase the bus with their pickup truck, but Holt ends up taking a dive
off a bridge and Vern wrecks the pickup truck (both are unhurt,
though). A roadblock forces the girls to drive the bus on a dirt road
that turns out to be a dead end. The girls are forced to abandon the
bus and try to make it through the forest on foot, where
warfare-trained Mino has a few surprises waiting for Babe And The
Ballgirls. But you shouldn't mess around with girls that can handle
baseball bats and throw like the pros. The finale finds Babe and a
gutshot Mino battling it out at the top of an empty grain silo. Three
strikes and you're out, but since only five girls are left alive
after the ordeal is over, it looks like they're gonna have to change
their sport to basketball! BLOOD GAMES is demented
hicksploitation fun and once you realize it was directed by a woman,
Tanya Rosenberg (who has never done anything else), it makes it all
the more demented. The screenplay, by Craig Clyde, James L. Hennessy
and George P. Saunders, contains all the hicksploitation staples:
toothless drunken hillbillies who don't have an original thought in
their empty little heads; plenty of good-looking women who walk
around with little or nothing on; lots of gory deaths (Stoney is shot
in the back with a crossbow and pinned to a tree; another girl gets a
crossbow bolt to her chest; one hillbilly has his head cracked open
with a baseball bat; various bloody bullet squibs), many of them
filmed in ultra-slow-motion; and uncomfortable scenes of rape. Hey,
I'm not saying that this is a good film, but it contains enough
graphic nudity and violence to keep this viewer happily entertained
for 87 minutes. Now I wish that someone would tell me what happened
to Tanya Rosenberg (Is it possible that it is a pseudonym?) and why
George "Buck" Flower (who gets hung by his neck in the
woods by the girls) chose to use the name "Ernest Wall"
instead of his usual pseudonym "C.D. LaFleur"? Also
starring Shelley Abblett, Randi Randolph, Rhyve Sawyer, Paula Manga
and Doc Willis. Originally available on VHS and Laserdisc from
RCA/Columbia Pictures Home Video and not available on DVD. Rated R.
BLOOD
MANIA (1970) - Although this is
basically nothing but a soap opera with a sleazy feel (the ads made
it look like a horror film), it is still an important part of 70's
exploitation because it was one of only four films Peter Carpenter
appeared in. Carpenter (who also wrote the story the screenplay was
based on and co-produced) was a handsome good actor who supposedly
died, but no one can come up with a date or year he actually died.
Some say it was a heart attack, some say it was influenza, but one
thing is certain: no one has conclusively stated that Peter Carpenter
is dead at all. Here's my speculation: Since Carpenter was a star and
Producer on both this and POINT
OF TERROR [1971; they became famous as a double feature] and
a Producer's job is partly securing financing for films, I think he
may have borrowed money from people of a "certain" type
[a.k.a. shylocks] and when Carpenter knew that he wasn't able to pay
them back on time, along with their
ridiculous vig [a weekly/monthly amount of interest on the loan that
was unusually high, usually within the 50% to 80% range!], he is
either swimming with the fishes or changed his name and is living in
another country [He's still young enough to be alive]). No matter
what happened, there no denying Peter Carpenter had talent and would
have probably become a major star (he could actually sing and had no
problem with nudity). The story is as old as films themselves: Dr.
Craig Cooper (Carpenter) is a doctor who works in a clinic and makes
house calls to a rich patient named Ridgely Waterman (Eric Allison),
who has a bad heart condition, is cruel to his daughter, painter
Victoria (Maria De Aragon: THE CREMATORS
- 1972), and owns the clinic Craig works at. Craig is also being
blackmailed by Larry Miller (Arell Blanton), who wants $50,000 from
Craig in two weeks or he will go to the police with photos of Craig
performing illegal abortions when he was younger so he could pay for
medical school. Craig reveals all his secrets to his live-in
girlfriend Cheryl (Reagan Wilson) and she wonders how in the world he
will get $50,000 in two weeks, so she comes up with a plan of her own
(behind her boyfriend's back). Craig really is a nice guy who cares
about his patients and won't even cheat on his girlfriend, even
though every time he goes to Ridgely's mansion, Victoria (who always
has a strange recurring nightmare; we see it in the opening of the
film, but it is made to look like Ridgely's nightmare) always comes
on to him and he always turns her down (After one instance of turning
her down, she strips topless at the pool in front of the pool boy and
starts coming on to him. He ends up being scared to death and leaves
the pool with his bathing suit half-on, screaming "My mother
told me about women like you!" It's really funny.). He also
chastizes Victoria about not having a full-time nurse on duty and
makes her hire Nurse Turner (Leslie Simms) to take care of her father
(Ridgely accuses Victoria of poisoning his food, which is believable
considering what a manipulative bitch she is). Craig has a moment of
weakness and decides to take Victoria up on her offer and starts
having an affair with her, in hopes he can borrow the $50,000 he so
desperately needs. Victoria also has a bad amyl nitrate
("poppers") habit and Craig tells her that it could do
irreparable harm to her heart and she should stop using it. She tells
Craig that she doesn't have the $50,000 to give him right now (she
thinks he is having IRS problems), but she knows how she can get it
for him. Meanwhile, Craig's girlfriend Cheryl invites Larry Miller
over to the apartment (without Craig knowing about it) and she offers
to have sex with Larry if he will call off the blackmail. Instead,
Miller slaps her around and rapes her, saying after he is done,
"No deposits. You're good, but you're not that good!" and
walks out the door. Victoria sneaks into her sleeping father's
bedroom and opens a couple of vials of amyl nitrate under his nose.
He dies of a heart attack a short time later (he pops up into the
sitting position in his bed as a muscle reflex and the look on his
face is the film's scariest moment). Victoria tells Craig what she
has done and uses sex to hold the $50,000 over his head (Craig, who
really is a nice guy, says to her, "You're a bitch!").
Victoria now believes that she is a rich woman, but the family lawyer
(Alex Rocco: STANLEY
- 1972; in what amounts to an extended cameo) says the reading of the
will cannot take place until at least two weeks because the auditors
have to get the exact amount of Ridgely's fortune together and she
also has to wait for her younger sister Gail (Vicki Peters) to arrive
with her guardian Kate Lewis (Jacqueline Dalya). When the will is
read, Nurse Miller is given $1,500 ("I'm rich!"), but the
rest of his fortune goes to Gail. Ridgely says in the will that
Victoria is allowed to stay in the mansion and receive a small yearly
stipend and Craig's clinic is to receive $10,000 a year. Victoria has
a nervous breakdown and Craig hires Nurse Miller to look after her.
Craig and Gail become romantically involved (by this time in the
film, Cheryl is never seen again, in one of the screenplay's biggest
holes), as we see them go to a Renaissance Fair and frolic on the
beach. Craig wants to have Victoria admitted to a psychiatric
hospital because he is afraid she is going to turn violent. It comes
a little too late, as Gail offers Victoria half the fortune, but
Victoria bashes a nude Gail (who was taking a bath) over the head
repeatedly (we see quick bloody edits of Gail's head) and then drags
her dead nude body in a rug into another room. Craig calls Gail on
the phone, but a truly loony Victoria answers the phone and tells
Craig she is unavailable. Craig rushes to the mansion as quickly as
he can and finds Victoria painting with blood. Craig discovers Gail's
dead body in the bathtub of another room. He begins to cry and
carries Gail's body to his car, telling Victoria she knows what he
has to do: report her to the police and have her committed. But in a
strange turn of events in the finale, Larry Miller comes into
Victoria's studio carrying the nude body of Gail and when Craig looks
at Victoria's painting, it is a remarkable resemblance of him
carrying a bloody skeleton. That can only mean one thing: Craig is
fucked for the rest of his life. He can never go to the police
because it is he that will look guilty. In this film, nice guys
finish last. Like I said, most of the film is pure soap
opera, followed by plentiful nudity, a few jump scares and a
smattering of blood. But it is Carpenter's performance that keeps the
film interesting as a man who is just trying to do the right thing,
but everyone is working against him. Also interesting are the people
behind the camera. Director Robert Vincent O'Neill (billed here
simply as "Robert O'Neil") also made THE
PSYCHO LOVER (1970); WONDER
WOMEN (1973; also starring Maria De Aragon); ANGEL
(1983) and many more. O'Neill also wrote the screenplays to THE
MIGHTY GORGA (1969); the cult classic VICE
SQUAD (1972); DEADLY FORCE
(1983) and WHAT WAITS BELOW
(1985). He also Produced WANDA
THE SADISTIC HYPNOTIST (1969) and was an Associate Producer
on BONNIE'S KIDS (1972). Production
Manager Gary Kent is a
well-known
jack-of-all-trades in genre films since the early-60's, but is best
known as an actor in such films as SCHOOLGIRLS
IN CHAINS (1973) and THE
FOREST (1981). One of the Cinematographers was Gary
Graver and Co-Screenwriter Tony Crechales (who co wrote this
film with first-and-only-timer Toby Sacher) also wrote the
screenplays for such films as the aforementioned POINT
OF TERROR (1971); HOUSE
OF TERROR (1972); THE
KILLING KIND (1973); PSYCHO
SISTERS (1974); IMPULSE
(1974), THE GREAT
SKYCOPTER RESCUE (1980) and THE
ATTIC (1980). So, as you can see, this film has quite the
pedigree in front of, as well as behind, the camera. Even though the
story has many holes (The disappearance of Cheryl from the film after
being raped; Why did Kate leave without telling anyone goodye? Why
doesn't Craig just kill Larry Miller and Victoria and blame their
deaths on each other? Cheryl's corpse would have surely implicated
Victoria in her death and she and Larry could have "killed"
each other because Larry was the last one to hold Cheryl's corpse.)
The biggest mystery still is "What ever happened to Peter
Carpenter?" This man had many talents and would have probably
been a major genre film star. Originally released on fullscreen
VHS by Academy
Home Entertainment, then on a lot of DVD compilations (especially
the ones that dealt with Crown International Films, the theatrical
distributor of this film) and much later on an anamorphic widescreen double
feature DVD (with the edited PG Rated version of LAND
OF THE MINOTAUR - 1976) by Code Red. Also featuring Reid
"Chip" Smith as the buttcrack-showing Pool Boy. Both Vicki
Peters and Reagan Wilson would later become Playboy Playmates and
neither one of them have a problem showing the "full monty"
in this film. An extra bonus interview on this DVD by Vicki Peters
(which was filmed in 2011) still shows her as a beautiful woman and
she had nice things to say about everyone except Maria De Aragon, who
Ms. Peters said was "distant" towards her. She was best
friends with Chip Smith until his untimely death in 2001 at the young
age of 52. Just like everyone else that worked with Carpenter, she
had nothing nice things to say about him (she was the youngest and
most inexperienced actress in the cast and Carpenter always was there
to make her as comfortable as possible), but seems unwilling to talk
about any future dealings with him. I'm usually not a conspiracy
theorist, but there just are too many unanswered questions when it
comes to the life of Peter Carpenter. If you're still out there Peter
and are reading this, contact me by email. I swear it will stay
private and I will delete it immediately (and I have government
encryption erasing software). A Code
Red DVD Release. Rated R. UPDATE:
It's March of 2021 as I am writing this and I have just discovered
that Peter Carpenter didn't die in the '70s as many people thought.
He actually quit acting in 1971 when his career as an actor didn't
pan out like he thought it would and went into hiding in Los Angeles,
California, opening up a dance studio under his real name (Nathaniel
Joseph Carpenter), where he taught dance and then became a painter,
dying on April 2, 1996 of A.I.D.S. at the age of 56 (not of natural
causes as it is erroneously reported on IMDb). It was easy to hide
from the public in the '70s, '80s & early-'90s, since the
Internet wasn't around and long before everyone had a camera at their
disposal, so Carpenter lived his life, dated many beautiful women and
ran a business where no one noticed him. Still, it's a sad ending for
someone who I admired. He had all the elements to become a good genre
actor, but he made his decision and stood by it. Another long mystery resolved!
BLOODY
FRIDAY (1973) - A group of
diverse (and horny) people gather together for an encounter group on
an isolated island in "an exercise in liberated living" (in
other words, free love). The only problem is, there is a killer
amongst them and the first victim is a young woman, who gets
speargunned in the stomach and buried in a shallow grave while she is
walking alone in the woods. Dr. Phillip Stevens (Wayne Dvorak), who
heads the encounter group, has the people introduce themselves to
each other by "milling", a technique where he turns out the
lights and they grope each other. While the lights are out, someone
bites one of the women on her breast and draws blood, sending her to
the infirmiry. Allison (Claudia Jennings) has come to the island to
escape her abusive boyfriend, Bud (Ed Blessington), but her follows
her to the island and begins to get abusive with her in front of
everyone else. Morris (Albert Popwell) steps in to break it up and he
tells Allison that he would like nothing better than to give Bud a
knuckle sandwich, but she stops Morris before he can. Bud, in
retaliation, gets picked-up by another woman and has sex with her,
which visibly upsets Allison. Mousey stutterer George (Greg
Mullavey), who only came to the island "to get laid", sees
Allison's strife and gives her a shoulder to cry on. As more personal
drama unfolds on the island, Allison incredibly makes
up with Bud and they go exploring through the island's many
beachside caves and are attacked by bats (!). After George and Bud
get into a fight (where the mild-mannered George proves to be good
with his fists), Phyllis (Jean Marie Ingels) is murdered by the
unseen killer with a garden hoe. While Allison and Bud are making out
(What is wrong with this girl?), the killer cuts-up all the girls'
clothes and writes "Cunts Bitches Sluts" on the bathroom
mirror in lipstick. A few more people are murdered or seriously hurt
by the killer before we find out that George is actually an
undercover cop who has been after the killer for quite some time.
Allison comes face-to-face with the killer in the caves, but George
saves her in the nick of time and everyone left alive lives happily
ever after. Or at least I think they do. This sexploitation
thriller contains many stars of the B-movie genre, but the problem is
that nothing much happens here. For a film that's supposed to be
about free love, there's precious little nudity, at least not as much
as there should have been (although the late Claudia Jennings does
have a topless shower scene). Directors/producers Ferd and Beverly
Sebastian, who also gave us the much-sleazier GATOR
BAIT
(1974), the awful Rock & Roll horror flick ROCKTOBER
BLOOD (1984) and many others, don't seem to have their
hearts in this and the screenplay (by Ann Cawthorne) is full of
scenes that make no sense and people doing stupid things. Why Allison
keeps going back to Bud is the most maddening aspect of this film.
He's a jerk of the highest order, yet he's made one of the heroes of
the film, which is this flick's biggest fault. Another fault with
this film is that there are just too many characters here to keep
track of or care about. Besides the ones already mentioned, there's
the impotent Andrew (Victor Izay), virgin Lola (Joan Prather), cowboy
Blue (Jason Ledger), trampy Shannon (Cheri Howell), sexpot Cathy
(Mercy Rooney) and a half dozen others. The are given a few moments
of screen time and then they are either dispatched or forgotten. The
film also seems to be severely edited. There are many freeze frames
or jump cuts when the violence is about to be shown. This could be
because Ferd Sebastian had a heart attack during the 80's (this film
was released on VHS by Ferd & Beverly's "Sebastian
International Enterprises" label), became a born-again Christian
and is now a minister! He may have edited it because the violence
doesn't conform with his religious beliefs. What's truly
head-scratching is that Bud disappears during the final minutes of
the film, never to be seen again. When George confronts the killer at
the end, there's a freeze frame on the killer's face, followed by a
shot of George and Allison walking hand-in-hand down the beach
discussing what they'll be doing on their first date. It's apparent
that a good chunk of the film is missing, as we never find out the
fates of the killer or Bud. It's a cheat on the viewer. Besides some
fleeting nudity, this film (at least in this version) is not worth
your time. Originally released to theaters as THE
SINGLE GIRLS by Dimension Films, who released a lot of great
exploitation and horror films during the 70's, including THE
DOBERMAN GANG (1972), THE
TWILIGHT PEOPLE (1972), DOLEMITE
(1975), DR. BLACK MR. HYDE
(1976), THE REDEEMER
(1976), RUBY (1977) and SCREAMS
OF A WINTER NIGHT (1979). This early 70's example of a
slasher film should not be confused with the 1972 German crime
thriller also known as BLOODY FRIDAY.
A Sebastian International Enterprises VHS Release. Rated R.
BOBBIE
JO AND THE OUTLAW (1975) - Lyle
Wheeler (Marjoe Gortner) is a con artist and quick-draw champion who
likens himself to a modern-day Billy The Kid. He steals an orange
Ford Mustang, runs a patrol car off the road and meets carhop Bobbie
Jo Baker (Lynda Carter). It's love at first sight. Bobbie Jo dreams
of becoming a famous country singer (she sings Lyle one of her
original songs on their first date), but she's going to have to put
that dream on hold because she and Lyle are about to have an
adventure. Lyle teaches Bobbie Jo how to shoot a pistol ("It's
just like praying!") and shows her how to cheat at pinball by
palming a magnet (He hustles one guy for $40 at a pool hall and has
to fight the guy off with his car's radio antennae in the parking
lot). Bobbie Jo's best friend, Essie (Belinda Balaski), joins Lyle
and Bobbie Jo on their travels and soon they are tripping out on
magic mushrooms while wading naked in a pond with an elderly Indian,
where Lyle has a premonition of his death. When a cop tries to pull
Lyle over for driving the stolen car, it leads to a chase where the
cop car crashes and explodes (the cop is OK, though). They go to
borrow some money from Bobbie Jo's stripper sister, Pearl (Merrie
Lynn Ross), and her coke-sniffing boyfriend, Slick Callahan (Jesse
Vint), but Slick gets Lyle involved in a robbery where he is forced
to shoot and kill a security guard. With roadblocks at every exit out
of town, they all disguise themselves as Christians heading to a
revival meeting and they escape, but all is not peaceful
within the clan. Pearl keeps riding Slick about taking orders from
Lyle and Essie wants everyone to turn themselves in after watching
Sheriff Hicks (Gene Drew) on TV threaten to "hunt them down like
dogs" if they don't give up. Essie secretly calls the Sheriff
and makes a deal with him, which backfares terribly, leading to a
shootout in a trailer park that leaves Essie and several policemen
dead. Essie dies in Lyles arms of a shotgun blast to the stomach and
Lyle delivers a sermon over her makeshift grave (which came natural
to Gortner, since he was a fire-and-brimstone teenage preacher before
he became an actor). The remaining foursome decide to rob a bank, but
first they rob a gun store for weapons, which leads to a shootout
where Bobbie Jo kills her first man and she seems to enjoy it.
There's no turning back now. After many gun battles, a bank robbery,
a Wild West showdown and several close calls, Lyle, Slick and Pearl
meet their maker while Bobbie Jo is captured, her fate uncertain. One
thing is clear: She can kiss her country music career goodbye.
This mid-70's exploitationer, directed by Mark L. Lester (TRUCK
STOP WOMEN - 1974; CLASS OF 1984
- 1981; and many others) and
written by Vernon Zimmerman (UNHOLY
ROLLERS - 1972; FADE TO BLACK
- 1980), is the only film that you will ever see the soon-to-be WONDER
WOMAN Lynda Carter's naked breasts. Although co-stars Merrie
Lynn Ross and Belinda Balaski spend much of their screen time
topless, Ms. Carter was very frugal in showing off her tits. So
frugal, in fact, that Lester is forced to repeat one scene of a
topless Carter making love to Gortner a second time later in the
film. Marjoe Gortner has a natural screen presence and his starring
turn here is a good one. His portrayal of Lyle as a good-natured
criminal who gets caught-up in violence seems natural and unforced.
Scripter Zimmerman puts in constant swipes at religion in this film,
highly unusual for an exploitationer. The film is full of religious
diatribes, some obvious (Gortner's comparing firing a gun to praying
and his sermon at Essie's graveside) and some not-so-obvious (the
$100 bill that Gortner leaves under one of his victim's hands so he
can "have a good funeral"). Bobbie Jo and Pearl's mother,
Hattie (Peggy Stewart), is also a devout religious woman, yet her
daughters turn out to be a strippers and women who can stand to be
around her. Hattie's true colors show through loud-and-clear when
it's revealed that she made a deal with Sheriff Hicks to turn both of
her daughters in for $50! Another taste of Zimmerman's distaste of
religion comes when Sheriff Hicks and his men shoot-up a motel room
only to discover that they have killed three innocent people inside.
Sheriff Hicks looks at the bullet-ridden, bloody bodies, turns to his
deputy and says, "With the Lord's will, they is sinners!" A
telling, remarkable scene. The violence doesn't kick-in until the
second half of the film and it's mostly just bloody bullet squibs,
although some of it is nasty. I'm a big fan of director Lester's
films and BOBBIE JO
AND THE OUTLAW is the definition of what a drive-in film
should be: Plenty of skin, plenty of violence and plenty of action.
Also featuring cameos from Gerrit Graham, Virgil Frye, James Gammon
and John Durren as Deputy Gance, who gets his throat cut in a
barbershop. A Vestron
Video Release. Not yet available on DVD. Rated R.
BONNIE'S
KIDS (1972) - Classic 70's
exploitation. Waitress Ellie (Tiffany Bolling; THE
CANDY SNATCHERS - 1973) and younger sister Myra (Robin
Mattson; WOLF LAKE -
1978) murder their stepfather Charley (Leo Gordon) after years of
sexual abuse and dump his body in the cellar. They then dump
Charley's pickup truck in the parking lot of a big city (to make it
look as if he went
on an extended trip) and then visit their rich Uncle Ben (Scott
Brady; WICKED WICKED -
1973, also starring Bolling), who welcomes them into his home, which
happens to be a huge country estate. Unfortunately, Uncle Ben's
business is the illegal kind (he runs a high-priced call girl racket
that fronts as a modeling agency) and he and his
"associates", Eddy (Alex Rocco; STANLEY
- 1972) and Digger (Timothy Brown; SWEET SUGAR
- 1973), are planning a big score. While Myra becomes
"friends" (i.e. lesbian lovers) with Ben's wife Diana
(Lenore Stevens), Ellie learns to become a call girl in one of Ben's
prostitution rackets. Eddy and Digger, on Ben's orders, hire an
innocent dupe, private detective Larry (Steve Sandor; STRYKER
- 1983), to pick up a package in Desert Springs. Ben sends Ellie to
the same location to retrieve the package from Larry and, while the
plan is still unclear, you can bet it's as crooked as a hillbilly's
teeth. What Ben, Eddy and Digger don't count on, though, is that
Larry and Ellie hook-up and sleep together. They pick up the package
together and when Myra phones Ellie and tells her that the police
have discovered Charley's body and they are wanted for questioning,
Ellie opens the package (against Larry's wishes) and finds a
briefcase containing $400,000. Seeing this as a chance for her and
Myra to finally disappear for good, Ellie steals the money and tells
Myra to meet her in El Paso. This sets off a series of violent
encounters that finds Larry and Ellie trying to escape the clutches
of Ben, Eddy and Digger. The finale shows that both Ellie and Myra
are not the innocents they want everyone to believe they are. Maybe
all those bad rumors about their dead mother are true after all. It
doesn't end pleasantly for either Ellie or Myra, as one will end up
dead and the other will end up all alone. Don't expect a feel-good
ending, because you get quite the opposite. This excellent and
complicated sexploitationer, directed and scripted by exploitation
master Arthur Marks (CLASS OF '74
- 1972; DETROIT 9000 -
1973; BUCKTOWN - 1974; FRIDAY
FOSTER - 1975; J.D.'S REVENGE
- 1976), contains everything fans of this genre demand. Besides the
ample naked assets of Tiffany Bolling, Robin Mattson and Lenore
Stevens, there's
plenty
of bloody violence, softcore sex and a great cast of genre veterans.
There are a few scenes that really stand out, such as when Myra tells
Diana that she's leaving for El Paso to be with her sister. Diana,
who has been having a lesbian affair with Myra, doesn't want her to
leave, but Myra unleashes this uncalled-for bit of dialogue in
Diana's face: "Face it, you're a dyke, a lesbian, a no-good
queer!" This line makes Diana blow her own brains out with a
revolver and when Myra sees her lifeless body on the floor, all she
has to say is, "What a creep!". Myra proves to be the most
unlikable character in the film, as she is the lynchpin for every bad
thing that happens here. She uses everyone (including her sister) to
get her way and knows exactly what she is doing, using her teenage
body to get people to do things they wouldn't normally do. If she
didn't come-on to Charley's friends at a poker game in the beginning
of the film, it wouldn't have led to the events that forced Ellie to
shoot Charley. It's no wonder that Myra's only true friend is her pet
rat (insert symbolism here). It's not until fairly late into the film
that we discover that Myra picked up her character traits from her
older sister, when Ellie finally shows her true colors with Larry.
The film is full of quotable dialogue, but my favorite line comes
when one of Charley's poker buddies spits out this nugget to describe
Charley's demeanor: "You've always got the three M's: You're
mean, miserable and de-mented!" The final line of dialogue
(which I will not repeat here) is a classic example of cinematic
heartlessness. BONNIE'S KIDS
is a great piece of 70's filmmaking; a time when nudity, violence and
a real, honest-to-goodness story were necessary to entertain
audiences. I miss those days. Be sure to look for a young Sharon
Gless in a blink-and-you'll-miss-it role as a greasy spoon waitress.
Also starring Luanne Roberts, Hedgeman Lewis and Max Showalter as
Frank, a traveling gun salesman who plays an important role in the
latter part of the film. Originally available on VHS from Monterey
Home Video. Dark Sky Films
has this on its 2008 release schedule for a DVD release, but take
that with a grain of salt. Rated R.
THE
BRIDES WORE BLOOD (1972) -
While
making love, a couple find a secret panel behind the bed which
contains the boy's Uncle Carlos DeLorca's (Paul Everett) journal. The
journal explains Carlos' endeavors to end the DeLorca Curse, where
all male members become vampires. He contacts Madame Von Kirst, a
psychic, to try to find a way to end the curse. She tells him that he
must choose four girls and offer them as hosts to his vampire nephew,
Juan (Chuck Faulkner). One of them will become Juan's bride and have
his child. The child will then be exorcized by Madame Von Kirst,
ending the curse. Carlos has his mute servant Perro (Bob Letizia)
give invitations to four beautiful girls,
offering them a tour of Casa DeLorca. The girls come to the house,
where Carlos takes them on a tour. He then invites them to dinner the
next evening to meet Juan. After dinner, the girls are tricked into
spending the night. One of them is offered up in a "conjuration
ritual" by Carlos, which consists of doping her up (graphic
needle-in-the-arm close-up) and tying her down to an altar. The
girl's boyfriend interrupts the ritual, knocking out Perro and Carlos
and unknowingly unleashing a demon to cause havoc in Casa DeLorca.
The demon possesses Perro, who slashes the throat of one of the
remaining girls and then turns another one into a vampire. The third
girl, Yvonne (Dolores Heiser), is chosen to bear the child and is
raped by Juan. Meanwhile, the loose demon kills the first girl and
her boyfriend (a machete in the head) before being dispatched by
Carlos. Yvonne is exorcized by Madame Von Kirst to rid the evil from
her baby. Months pass as Yvonne is kept prisoner in the DeLorca house
until the baby is born. She tricks Perro into taking her for a walk
and throws him down the stairs and tries to escape the house. She
runs into the room where the vampire girl is staying, forcing Carlos
to stake the girl with a broom handle. Seeing this, Juan chases
Yvonne only to have her expose him to sunlight and dissolve. After
Madame Von Kirst determines that the baby Yvonne is carrying is
normal and the curse has been lifted, Carlos goes upstairs to tell
Yvonne the good news. When he opens the door he finds that Yvonne has
broken a mirror and has plunged a giant shard of it into her stomach.
The End. This impossibly cheap horror film was filmed in
Jacksonville, Florida by late director Robert R. Favorite (RIVERBOAT
MAMA; INDIAN RAID, INDIAN MADE
- both 1969). Filled with cheap 70's gore effects, garish 70's
fashions, muttonchops and amateur acting, this film is a testament
that anyone with a camera could make a film in the 70's and get it a
release. It's hard to keep up with the story as the entire film is
told in flashback and sometimes as a flashback within a flashback.
This film does not have much going for it as it contains minimal
nudity, a no-no for a film of this type. The ending also makes no
sense as the boy in the beginning states that he is the son of Juan,
who has died in the film and Yvonne kills herself and her baby in the
end. Just when did Juan father this child? I could have thought of a
better ending. THE
BRIDES WORE BLOOD is of interest only as a relic of a bygone
age. Also known as BLOOD BRIDE. Also starring Rita Ballard,
Jan Sherman and Dolores Starling. Originally released on VHS by Regal
Video. A Retromedia Entertainment
DVD Release. Not Rated. The DVD is hosted by the very unfunny
horror host, Son Of Ghoul.
BROTHERHOOD
OF DEATH (1976) -
Lower-tier blaxploitation effort about race relations, the KKK and
death in a small Southern town (actually filmed in Montgomery County,
Maryland). When Raymond (Roy Jefferson), his brother Junior (Haskell
Anderson) and friend Ned (Le Tari) run afoul of local redneck Leroy
(Ron David), they join the Army to get away from him and his KKK
buddies. After serving their stint while learning jungle warfare and
making a hefty profit selling smack to hooked white soldiers, they
return home and to the trouble they thought they left behind. When a
local black girl is raped by Leroy and two of his white friends,
Raymond gets even by beating the crap out of Leroy. The black trio
try to enact change in the town legally and non-violently by getting
the local preacher to get all the black townspeople to register to
vote, but when the townspeople show up at city hall to register, the
crooked district attorney, who also heads the local KKK chapter as
their "Grand Cyclops" (he wears a pink KKK robe and hood!),
closes city hall down. The KKK then burn down the church, murder a
local black boy who was about to attend college and kill the sheriff,
the only white man in town who was fair with the blacks. The new
sheriff (who
shot the old one in the head after calling him a "nigger
lover") begins to terrorize the black population to find out
where the troublesome trio are located, but they have already
kidnapped Leroy and the district attorney and are holding them in a
shack in the woods. The trio don their Army fatigues and use their
jungle warfare training to get even with the KKK (they even trick the
KKK into killing Leroy and the D.A. by taping their mouths shut and
putting black hoods on their heads!). Using guns, booby traps,
poisonous snakes and landmines (even pulling a Cleavon Little in BLAZING
SADDLES [1974], where Raymond disguises himself as a KKK
member to thin the ranks), the vengeful trio kill all the KKK members
and make the town a safe place for all the black folks to vote and
elect their own D.A. and sheriff. Don't you just love happy
endings? This cheaply-made blaxploitation flick has lots of
stock footage (when the church is burned down, it's just stock
footage of a house fire), bad acting and it takes forever to get
moving. This film is nothing but a series of racial diatribes, as the
white actors are required to say "nigger" at least one time
in every line of dialogue. Director Bill Berry paints every white
person (except for the sheriff) as a bigot and every black person as
a good guy, which makes this whole affair hard to swallow (even
during the Vietnam sequences, the only white soldier shown is a
heroin addict/dealer). Add to that nothing but talk, talk, talk and
too little action (the final sequence lasts less than five minutes)
and what you end up with is an action film that is anything but.
There is only one instance of nudity (the rape scene), several bloody
bullet squibs and one throat slashing in the film's entire 77 minute
running time. All that's left is plenty of racist dialogue (on both
sides of the coin), lame politics (it seemed dated, even for 1976)
and lots of amateur acting. I will give the film a few points for
superimposing it's end credits on a real KKK recruitment billboard,
though. It's the film's most imaginative moment. Too bad you have to
wallow through a lot of crap to get there. It should come as no
surprise that there is no on-screen screenplay credit (Who would want
to take credit for this crap?), although I suspect Bill Berry is the
culprit. Berry only has one other directorial credit, the 1987 comedy OFF
THE MARK (a.k.a. CRAZY LEGS),
but he does have extensive film credits, such as First Assistant
Director on horror films like WITCHBOARD
2: THE DEVIL'S DOORWAY (1993) and CRY_WOLF
(2005). A lot of the "actors" in BROTHERHOOD
OF
DEATH
were members of the Washington Redskins football team, including Roy
Jefferson, Mike Thomas, Mike Bass, Frank Grant, Larry Jones and
Dennis Johnson. Ron David as Leroy is the film's best actor. He's
actually convincing as the raping racist, which I find troubling.
Also starring Rick Ellis, Brian Donohue and Bryan Clark as the
evenhanded sheriff. Older readers may remember Mr. Clark as the
spokesperson for Folger's Coffee in countless 80's TV commercials.
Available on DVD from Anchor
Bay Entertainment as part of a double feature, with Fred
Williamson's ONE DOWN, TWO
TO GO (1982). Also available on Blu-Ray
from Code Red. Rated R.
BRUTE
CORPS (1971) - Sometimes it
amazes me that films I never heard of before slipped through my
fingers when I was a teenager because I usually went to movie
theaters 3 or 4 times a week (not like today, where you have a
choice of about 10 films to see during any particular week and 95% of
them don't appeal to me at all). I write this review just a few days
after Alex Rocco's untimely death and I'm glad to report that this is
one sleazy gem and Rocco supplies a good percentage of the sleaze
here. Even more amazing is that Jerry Jameson directed it; he's
better known as one of the Kings
of the Made-For-TV-Movie, still directing them up to this day,
and infrequently venturing out for some innoculouus theatrical films,
like THE BAT PEOPLE (1974); AIRPORT
'77 (1977) and RAISE
THE TITANIC (1980), his last theatrical film being LAST
FLIGHT OUT (2003), a "faith based" family film
financed by the Billy Graham Ministries. Jameson directed one more
sleaze epic, THE DIRT GANG
(1972; starring many of the same people in this film, but no Rocco),
before he changed course and 85% of his work was then on TV. Right
away this film starts out on the wrong foot (a good thing) when a
bunch of mercenaries, Ross (Paul Carr; THE
SEVERED ARM - 1973); Wicks (Alex Rocco; STANLEY
- 1972); Quinn (Roy Jenson; THE CAR
- 1977); MacFarland (Michael Pataki; GRAVE
OF THE VAMPIRE - 1972); Hill (Felton Perry; WALKING
TALL - 1973; who takes a leak out of the back of the truck
while it is moving); Ballard (Parker West; LEMORA:
A CHILD'S TALE OF THE SUPERNATURAL - 1974) and their boss,
The Colonel (Charles Macauley; BLACULA
- 1972); are traveling down a road in Mexico, when they stop at a
closed gas station to steal some gas for their Jeep and truck. Quinn
uses the outhouse to take a shit, when four thugs on motorcycles stop
at the station and tell Quinn to get out because the biker leader has
to take a piss (Jeez, the ground isn't good enough?).
When Quinn refuses, they shake the outhouse off its foundation and
Quinn leaves, saying "Fuck you" to all four of them (one of
them makes a joke that Quinn's penis looked like a "Baby Tootsie
Roll"), pulling out a shotgun and blasting them all to death (he
shoots two in the back after they try to get away). We now know that
none of these mercenaries have much in the way of humanity, except
for Ross, who seems weary of the whole mercenary thing. A few minutes
before, these mercenaries didn't pick up a female hitchhiker named
Terry (Jennifer Billingsley; HOLLYWOOD MAN
- 1976), but Wicks leers at her as they pass her by. She manages to
get a ride with another hitchhiker named Kevin (Joseph Kaufmann; PRIVATE
DUTY NURSES - 1971), as a pink pickup truck picks them both
up. They become quick friends and decide to travel together. Both
Terry and Kevin and the mercenaries end up in the same small Mexican
town, run by corrupt Sheriff Alvarez (Joseph Bernard; THE
BABY - 1974), who offers to make the Colonel and his men's
stay there pleasurable. The Colonel is not interested in his offer
and he plans on setting up camp a couple of miles from town in an
abandoned quarry while he waits for more mercenaries to show up for
an operation they are going to perform in Central America. Meanwhile,
the mercenaries at the bar are getting drunk and having a good time,
so Wicks offers the barmaid's father money so he can have sex with
his daughter. The father turns him down and Wicks shoots him in the
hand. When the father complains to Sheriff Alvarez, Wicks puts a live
hand grenade in the father's hand and the Sheriff has to toss it away
before it explodes. The Sheriff tells the father, "It was his
idea of a joke." We then see Terry and Kevin frolicking naked in
a shallow pool of water at the quarry. Terry says she should have
become a hooker because she likes to "ball". Kevin tells
her that he is in Mexico dodging the draft because he is a
concientious objector and the thought of him killing anyone makes him
sick. He'll have to change that stance sooner than he thinks. They
run into Wicks at the quarry and he invites them both to have lunch
with the group. When the Colonel sees them, he tells Wicks to get rid
of them after they eat. They all pass a joint around and talk about
death, when Wicks pulls out a stick of dynamite, lights the fuse and
tosses it to Hill, who tosses it to another member, etc., while
Jennifer looks on horrified (Wick says, "This is what it is all
about!"). As the fuse gets dangerously small, Ross makes Wicks
pull the fuse out of the dynamite (Ross is really sick of this
psychotic behavior by his comrades). The mercenaries then show Terry
how to fight, but Kevin gets increasingly mad (and not just because
he is a pacifist), especially when he sees Wicks putting his hands on
her breasts. The Colonel tells Wicks to get rid of Terry and Kevin
and let them go on their way, but Wicks says "Colonel. I want to
have her!" The Colonel decides that the four mercenaries that
want to fuck her should fight each other in one-on-one bouts, the
winner getting possession of Terry. Ross volunteers as one of the men
because he wants to save Terry, not fuck her. During the fighting,
Kevin escapes, so Quinn and Ross head into separate directions to
catch him, with the Colonel telling them not to bring Kevin back
alive. Ross has Kevin in his sights, but lets him go back into town.
Quinn accuses Ross of letting him go, saying "He ain't got
it" (because Ross refuses to kill for killing's sake). The
fighting then starts to see who gets to fuck Terry and Ross beats
Hill by almost killing him as he hangs from a tree (Hill taps out)
and Wicks beats MacFarland unconscious with a tree branch and he wins
his bout. Wicks cheats and beats Ross, which make him the winner to
screw Terry and he rapes Terry after tying her to the bed. He then
cuts the ropes that binds her and says she is free to go, only to
have all the other mercenaries (sans Ross) gang-rape her. Kevin makes
it to town, but Sheriff Alvarez is very unreceptive (he won't even
help Kevin after he shames the Sheriff in front of the rest of the
town). Kevin heads back to the quarry by himself, where he sees Terry
being treated like an animal, a rope tied around her neck like a
leash. Kevin gets some much-needed help from Ross, as Kevin kills
Wicks for making Terry say she is an animal. When the Colonel sees
Ross escaping with Terry and Kevin, the rest of the mercenaries head
out on foot (Ross has disabled the vehicles) and soon it is Rambo
time (a good ten years before Rambo even drew first blood). Hill and
Ballard are killed by Ross' grenade booby trap. Ross seriously
injures Quinn with a hand grenade and finishes him off with Quinn's
own shotgun. In a real downer of a finale. MacFarland kills Kevin
(even though Kevin has a gun but refuses to use it), the Sheriff
shoots Ross in the back and Terry shoots and kills The Colonel. The
only good thing to happen in the finale is that the population of the
small town get to see what a coward the Sheriff really is. This
short, 84-minute film only exists to show how people can mistreat
other people without having a conscience. Kevin is a coward who runs
away from war, only to die at the hands of people worse than the
Vietcong. Terry is one giant cocktease, who has no choice at the end
but to kill and it is not in retribution for killing Kevin or Ross.
She does it strictly for her own personal reasons (She proves she is
an animal at the end). The only person in the entire film with a
conscience is Ross, who does his damnedest to save Kevin and Terry,
not knowing what kind of people these two really are; A coward and a
whore. The film is nothing but wall-to-wall violence and sexual
abuse, but it has a cast of great character actors (most who are no
longer with us) that rarely get together in any type of film. The
film has the look and feel of a TV movie, which is not surprising
since Jerry Jameson has been working in that medium since the
early-60's. Screenwriters Michael Kars and Abe Polsky (who also co-wrote
the screenplay to the biker film THE
REBEL ROUSERS - 1970) were also the Producers of BRUTE
CORPS but didn't have much of a film career after this film.
This was Kars' last film credit and Polsky would go on to write the
screenplay to the cult film THE BABY
(1974) and then disappear from films. This film never had a VHS or
home video release before the beautiful widescreen DVD from Code Red.
If you want to watch a scuzzy, slimey film that could have only come
from the 70's, then get this DVD ASAP before it goes OOP. Also
starring Paul Micale, Edith Diaz and Ramiro Jaloma. A Code
Red DVD Release. Rated R.
BURKE
& HARE (2010) - For those
of you who thought director John Landis had lost his mojo since
directing INNOCENT BLOOD
(1992), may I suggest that you go out and buy, rent or stream this
stylish comedy/horror/semi-historical film that stars some of today's
top British actors, as well as some unexpected cameos. It's the
1820's in Edinburgh, Scotland and two warring doctors, Dr. Robert
Knox (Tom Wilkinson; THE
EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE - 2005, who is simply fantastic here)
and Dr. Monro (Tim Curry; RITUAL
- 2002), who has a thing for the anatomy of human feet (!), are
looking for fame and fortune in a city that can best be described as
a shithole's asshole. Enter conmen William Burke (Simon Pegg; SHAUN
OF THE DEAD - 2003) and William Hare (Andy Serkis; THE
COTTAGE - 2008), who get caught trying to sell cheese mold
as a miraculous cure for anything that ails you. They must come up
with another moneymaking scheme, otherwise Burke, Hare and Hare's
wife, Lucky (Jessica Hyndes [a.k.a. "Jessica Stevensen"; MAGICIANS
- 2007], in a commanding performance), will be kicked out of their
apartment. When an old man who was subletting one of their apartment
rooms dies, Burke and Hare get the bright idea of selling his body to
Dr. Knox, who is working
on a new way to study the internal workings of the human body:
photography (Knox is credited in this film for coming up with the
word). When the old dead man won't fit into a barrel, they have to
break his back to make him fit inside (a funny visual later in the
film). They take the body to Dr. Knox, who offers them 5 Pounds for
every fresh body they bring him. Meanwhile, Burke meets the beautiful
Ginny Hawkins (Isla Fisher: SCOOBY-DOO
- 2002), whose dream it is to put on an all-female version of
Shakespeare's Hamlet at the local theater. Hoping to score some sex
with Ginny (who is one of the greatest cockteases in film history),
Burke agrees to finance her venture, which means they are going to
have to actually kill people to supply Dr. Knox with more bodies.
Their first attempt at murder is a complete failure. They try pushing
a drunk (Paul Whitehouse) down a long flight of stairs, but he simply
gets up and goes on his merry way. They begin a murder spree (one of
their victims is Old Joseph, played by none other than Christopher
Lee) and begin to make a lot of money. Lucky wants her husband to
quit the killings when they have enough money to start the very first
"funeral parlor", but Ginny's venture is costing Burke a
fortune and proves their undoing. They are dogged by Captain Tam
McLintoch (Ronnie Corbett, a popular British TV comedian) and his two
privates (one who keeps fainting at the sight of dead bodies). When
Captain McLintoch is able to see the photographs and match them to
the drawings of all the missing people, Burke, Hare, Lucky and an
innocent Ginny are locked up. Even back then the government would
like to have something like this covered-up, so they make Burke and
Hare and offer: If one of them confesses to the crimes, he will hang
and the rest will go free (They also make an offer to Captain
McLintoch that he can't possibly refuse). Burke confesses to the
crimes (In reality, Hare sold him out) and Ginny finally has sex with
him on the night before he is to be executed. When he is asked if he
has any last words before the hangman's rope squeezes all the life
out of his body, all Burke has to say is, "I did it for
love". The government burns all the photographs, Ginny goes on
to a successful career as an actress and Hare and Lucky open the
first funeral parlor. I'm afraid that what I have just written
cannot describe how funny this entire film is. There were many times
I found myself laughing out loud, like when their first body in a
barrel gets away from them, when they try to make a freed slave
(Chris Obi) one of their victims (it takes Lucky to bring him down)
or when Tim Curry looks at a human foot like a horny man would look
at a vagina. The screenplay by Piers Ashworth and Nick Moorcroft is
full of historical facts mixed with outright lies, but you won't
care. You'll love the film for the funny visuals, dialogue and looks
on Simon Pegg's face (who is always a joy to watch, especially when
he says things like "I had confidence in a fart once, and I shat
all over myself.", as is Andy Serkis, who was robbed of an
Academy Award nomination as Caesar in RISE
OF THE PLANET OF THE APES [2011] simply because his
performance was done by motion capture, the same thing he did as
"Gollum" in THE
LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy [2001 - 2003]). It's nice to see
John Landis get back to form and I hope he keeps making interesting
horror comedies like BURKE &
HARE and not crap like BLUES
BROTHERS 2000 (1998). Who would have thought that a serious
and true subject like the lives of body snatchers Burke and Hare
could be turned into one of the best comedies of 2010 (not to mention
giving a shout-out to Charles Darwin)? Also starring Bill Bailey (who
talks directly to the audience), Robert Fyfe, David Hayman, Amanda
Claire, Hugh Bonneville and John Woodvine, with cameos by Jenny
Agutter, Ray Harryhausen and Costa-Gavras. An MPI
Home Video DVD Release. Rated R.
CAGED
FURY (1983) - In a plot reminiscent
of TELEFON (1977), this film
opens with a prominent female politician receiving a mysterious phone
call ("The apples are dying!") and then a package just
before she is to give a press conference. She then goes into a
trance, straps on a vest bomb underneath her dress and heads down to
the conference, where she detonates the bomb, killing everyone. We
then follow Canadian girl Denise (Bernadette Williams) as she is
taken prisoner and driven to some remote camp in the Asian jungle.
The warden of the camp, Van Duc (Joe Mari Avellana), tells Denise
that escape is impossible, but if she does what she is told, she will
eventually be released. The camp is full of young female prisoners
and it becomes apparent after a short while that the women are being
"conditioned" (i.e. brainwashed) to become "human
bombs" to be used in situations where it would be next to
impossible to use regular hitmen or assassins. All it takes is a
simple phone call saying
a particular phrase ("The apples are dying!") and the
women don vest bombs and carry out their missions. While Denise tries
to find a way to escape, Van Duc discovers that one of the women
prisoners, Linda (Jennifer Lane), is actually an undercover CIA
operative, so he has electrodes attached to her breasts and tortures
her with electricity. Denise begins a romance with friendly guard
Pram Van Tin (Efren Reyes Jr.) and he agrees to help her escape once
he witnesses the after-effects of her brainwashing electric shock
treatments. When Pram tries to smuggle Denise out of the camp in the
back of a truck and Van Duc is waiting for them at the front gate, it
proves that one of the women prisoners is an informer. But which one
is it? All evidence points to Honey (Taffy O'Connell), an American
who sleeps with most of the guards and spends too much time in Van
Duc's office, but that would be too easy. Denise and Pram still
manage to escape, but Van Duc's men are only one step behind them.
After they make love in a jungle cabin, Pram is shot dead by his
fellow guards and Denise is brought back to the camp, where she is
tortured. All the girls are then loaded onto a train and told that
they are going home, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. The
train stops in the middle of a field and the guards gang-rape all the
women and shoot those in the back that try to escape. The remaining
women discover the identity of the informer, kill her and then take
over the train, where they escape to the safety of a waiting
helicopter. Are the women actually saved or will a simple phone call
turn them into explosive assassins? I'm afraid only time will
tell. A lot of people believe that this is Filipino director
Cirio H. Santiago's best film and I can't really fault them for
thinking that. While not as action-packed as most of Santiago's 80's
films, it is better plotted than most (script by frequent Santiago
bit player Bobby Greenwood) and probably contains more nudity than
half a dozen of his other films put together. Santiago also tosses-in
much more human drama than usual, especially the romance between
Denise and Pram that ends tragically. There is also a mystery element
as we try to determine who's the informer and it's not as easy as you
think. Santiago films the mass rape on the train as a series of slow-motion
shots, edited in such a way as to show the fear and helplessness in
all the women's faces while the guards leer and laugh and shoot women
in the back like they were shooting skeet. It's a very effective
sequence, as is Pram's gunfight with his fellow guards, which takes
place next to a pen of loudly-chirping baby chicks. This was also one
of the few Santiago films that wasn't financed by Roger Corman.
Future director Jim Wynorski (CHOPPING
MALL - 1986; SORCERESS
- 1994) was Casting Director here, which could explain why most of
the female prisoners are, how do I say, top-heavy? Although the plot
never takes advantage of the brainwashing scenario, CAGED
FURY
still has plenty to recommend. It's not very violent, but it's sleazy
as hell. Other Santiago WIP films include WOMEN
OF HELL'S ISLAND (1978) and CAGED
HEAT II:
STRIPPED OF FREEDOM (1993). Also starring Catherine March,
Margaret Magick, Gina Alajar, Elizabeth Oropesa, Leo Martinez, Ken
Metcalfe and Mike Monty. A World Premiere Home Video Release. Not
available on DVD. Not Rated.
CAGED
HEAT II: STRIPPED OF FREEDOM (1993) -
First off, this in-name-only sequel (originally shot under the title PRISONERS)
has nothing to do with director/screenwriter Jonathan Demme's
classic WIP flick CAGED HEAT
(1974). The only thing they have in common is that they were both
made for Roger Corman's production companies; the first one for
Corman's New World Pictures (where it obtained a theatrical release)
and the second one for Corman's New Concorde/New Horizons Home Video
(where it went DTV). Luckily, CAGED HEAT II was directed by
late Filipino genre staple Cirio H. Santiago, an old hand at these
WIP films; being a credited (and uncredited) producer of such prison
drive-in classics like THE BIG DOLL HOUSE
(1971), WOMEN IN CAGES
(1971), THE HOT BOX (1972) and THE
BIG BIRD CAGE (1972) before directing some WIP films
himself, including WOMEN OF HELL'S ISLAND
(1978) and CAGED FURY (1983). While CAGED
HEAT II comes late in the cycle, it's not without its charms if
you can get beyond the cheapness of the production (This film is part
of Santiago's
early-90's output, where boss Corman, who Santiago almost worked
exclusively with during the 70s, 80s & 90s, cut budgets on all
his productions across the board). The film opens with King Lim
(Ramon D'Salva; LIVE BY THE FIST
- 1993) being shot several times by protestors who do not like his
policies of kowtowing to the American military that occupies his
country. Lim's daughter, Marga (Chanel Akiko Hirai), is particularly
distressed that her father has the nerve to flout his American
mistress, Amanda (Jewel Shepard; RAW
FORCE - 1982), out in public. When it turns out that the
shooting was staged so Lim and Marga could leave the country and live
in New York, a monkey wrench is thrown into the gears when Marga is
arrested and sentenced to spend the rest of her life on The Rock, an
inescapable maximum security prison located on an Alcatraz-like
island. Lim refuses to leave the country without his daughter (and
threatens to expose the American military's illegal dealings in his
country), so Amanda agrees to go undercover as a prisoner on the
island to break Marga out. Unfortunately, Amanda accidentally gets
American tourist Lucy (Susan Harvey) arrested at the airport (she has
a suitcase full of illegal porn films!), so she, too, is sent to The
Rock with Amanda. The Rock's horny Warden Chen (Vic Diaz; EQUALIZER
2000 - 1986) takes an instant dislike to Amanda (after
making her strip and trying to fondle her breasts, but he really has
his his eye on Marga as his next sexual conquest (He says, "I
never had a princess before!"). Amanda has it hard, trying to
protect Lucy from butch prisoner Paula (Pamella D'Pella) and
reasoning with Marga to escape with her from the prison (Marga would
rather be executed than be shamed by her father's treasonous
actions). After finally setting Marga straight about her father,
Amanda and Marga escape the prison and run into the jungle with the
help of two undercover guards. Their escape is short-lived when one
of the guards (Totoy Torres, here billed as "Joe Towers" in
the opening credits [but using his real name in the closing credits!]
and also the Assistant Director) turns out to be a traitor and Warden
Chen captures them on the beach. Warden Chen rapes Marga on the beach
and hangs Amanda by her hair before eventually throwing them both
back in their cells. The remainder of the film finds Amanda and Lucy
trying to break Marga out of prison before she is executed for crimes
against her country. Along the way, all three will suffer more
degradation, including rape (both lesbian and straight), forced drug
addiction and constant catfights with Paula and her gang of lesbos.
Will all three live to see freedom? When King Lim dies of a sudden
heart attack, everything changes and most of it is not good, both for
Marga and Lucy. Amanda has to decide if she is going to obey her new
orders from her CIA boss, Carl Daimyo (Ed Crick; NAKED
VENGEANCE - 1985) and escape from prison alone. Don't count
on it. This is a fairly by-the-numbers WIP flick which contains
all the usual standbys. Director Cirio H. Santaigo and screenwriter
Paul Ziller (who directed such genre films as PLEDGE
NIGHT [1988] and SNAKEHEAD
TERROR [2003]) fill this film with plenty of female nudity,
shower scenes, catfights, a whipping scene and lots of rape. This is
probably the biggest film role Vic Diaz had in the 90's and he looks
like he is having one helluva time here, whether it is stripping and
raping women in his office that contains one of the biggest bird
cages I have ever seen (filled with hundreds of birds), shooting
traitors and faithful guards with equal abandon or drugging women to
get them "in the mood". The action scenes don't really come
until the final third, but the gunfights and explosions are
well-handled because Santiago was an old hand at this kind of stuff.
Nothing spectacular, but entertaining nonetheless. Also starring Bon
Vibar, Philip Gordon, Ronald Asinas, Manny Samson and Henry
Strzalkowski as an undercover CIA agent disguised as an ice cream
vendor. Originally available on VHS by New Horizons Home Video and
not available on DVD. Rated R.
CALIGULA
2: THE UNTOLD STORY (1982) -
Leave it to director/co-screenwriter Joe D'Amato (a.k.a. "David
Hills") and co-screenwriter George Eastman (a.k.a. "Richard
Franks") to try to out-sleaze the all-star porn film CALIGULA
(1979). They actually succeed because they aim for the gutter,
throwing-in graphic, gory violence with hardcore sex and nudity,
making this one of D'Amato's better sleaze epics. I call it an epic
because it runs 125 minutes, yet it is never boring, unlike Bob
Guccione & Tinto Brass' Penthouse version.
After a brief history of Caligula (which translates to "Little Boots")
from an unseen narrator, we get right to the film. Caligula (David
Brandon, as "David Cain Haughton"; STAGE
FRIGHT - 1987) is dreaming that he is running along a beach
and then is the target of an archer. As the archer pulls back the
string of the bow, we then see that Domitius (Michele Soavi, director
of THE SECT - 1991) is
trying to strangle Caligula in his sleep. The guards stop him and
Caligula orders them to cut out Domitius' tongue, which they do (in
loving close-up). Caligula's personal slave Ulmar (Sasha D'Arc; THE
SHERIFF AND THE SATELLITE KID - 1979) is in charge of
protecting Caligula's life and he feels responsible for letting
Domitius get past him. Caligula forgives him and then tells his
second-in-command, Messala (Luciano Bartoli, as "Oliver
Finch"; THE FIFTH CORD
- 1971) about his dream, where the beach runs red with his enemy's
blood. We then watch as Caligula rapes virgin Livia (Fabiola Toledo; A
BLADE IN THE DARK - 1983) in front of her betrothed, Ezio
(Alessandro "Alex" Freyberger; WILD
BEASTS - 1983), the son of a Consul member. Livia tries to
stab Caligula, but Messala stops her, killing her in the process.
Caligula orders Messala to kill Ezio, which he does. At Ezio's
funeral, his father, Tulio Gallio (John Alin), asks Messala who
killed his son. Messala tells him "religious fanatics"
(Christians) were responsible and then we see Tulio's guards killing
a group of Christians. Some Consul members, led by Markus (Alfonso
Gigante), are secretly holding a meeting in a bathhouse, where they
discuss Ezio and Livia's deaths and don't believe they were killed by
Christians. Marcellus Agrippa (Gabriele Tinti; EMANUELLE
IN PRISON - 1983) tells the group that he will "find a
way" to kill Caligula without putting suspicion on the Consul.
This involves getting Miriam (Laura Gemser; EMANUELLE
AND THE LAST CANNIBALS - 1977), a Christian and Livia's best
friend, to get close to Caligula, become his lover and then kill him
when he drops his guard (so to speak).
Caligula wants a new amphitheater built in his honor and when he
learns how much it is going to cost, he finds a way to finance it by
holding a huge banquet, where only the richest of Romans will be
invited, Caligula bilking them of all their wealth. When members of
the Consul complain, Caligula fakes he is having an epileptic fit,
where Markus verbally prays to the god Jupiter to take his life in
place of Caligula. Instantly, Caligula is better and he orders his
guards to hold Markus while he runs him through with a sword
(Caligula says, "He did offer his life, didn't he?").
Caligula should not play games with the Gods, because it will
eventually bite him in the ass.
We then see that Domitius is still alive and Caligula takes pleasure
in taunting him, even having a palace slut give him a handjob. Yes,
Caligula is human scum, who gets off on other people's misery. We
then witness one of Caligula's men picking out the women who will
attend the banquet. He picks only the beautiful women to pleasure the
men (He sticks his finger in one woman's vagina and then smells it!)
and Miriam is one of those women (an old hag begs to come to the
banquet, saying she is "experienced" in such matters, so
the man accepts her, saying she will be used to pleasure the dogs and
horses! And he means it!). The virgin Miriam pops her cherry with a
dildo so Caligula will think she is experienced. We then see all the
chosen women swimming naked in a pool, while one of Caligula's men
swims underwater, shoving dildoes into the surprised women's vaginas!
(D'Amato, who was also the cinematographer, shows the women bleeding
between their legs, turning the water around them red). The women are
then shown (by a gay man!) how to please a man (This is also the
first time the pornographic footage kicks in, showing one woman
performing oral sex on a man, while the other women masturbate around
her). We are then at the banquet, where Caligula holds court over his
wealthy Romans. There is an orgy (including a dwarf in the sex play
and the old hag giving a man a handjob!), jugglers with torches,
gladiators battling each other with their bare hands (crushing one
gladiator's head in with spiked brass knuckles) and other acts of
debauchery, while Marcellus Agrippa looks on with disgust. One
wealthy Roman gets his hands on Miriam, so Ulmar punches him out
(he's secretly in love with her) and brings her to Caligula. They
watch the orgy (Including scenes of homosexuality and lesbianism. It
wouldn't be a Roman orgy without them!) and we then see the old hag
giving a horse a handjob (Now I understand when they say "hung
like a horse"!). The orgy continues through the night (We even
see the dwarf getting a blowjob. Let's just say the horse doesn't
have anything to worry about!).
Caligula falls hard for Miriam, but Miriam also falls hard for
Caligula, putting a chink in the armor of Marcellus Agrippa's plans.
Will Miriam kill
the man she now loves and forgive him for raping and killing Livia?
Will a jealous Ulmar get over his love for Miriam? Will Caligula
change his dastardly ways? If you answered "no" to these
three questions, you would be right. Let's say that the beach will
run red with blood, but whose blood will it be? And will the archer
hit his mark?
While there are explicit scenes of pornographic sex here (including
shots of ejaculation), don't expect Laura Gemser to participate in
them, because you will be disappointed. Gemser's sex scenes never
rise above softcore, just like in her more than a dozen
Emanuelle films, many of them directed by Joe D'Amato. Speaking
of D'Amato. I consider this film, as well as his horror-themed PORNO
HOLOCAUST (1981), to be the precursors to his more than 150
porn films he made during the '80s, right up to his death in 1999.
This film also contains graphic scenes of violence, including the
aforementioned tongue cutting and Gabriele Tinti's death, where
Caligula has his men shove an iron spear up his ass until it exits
out of his left nipple! Also helping is the set decoration. The film
doesn't look like a typical porn film, as the sets are opulent and
the locations authentic-looking (The beach scenes were filmed in
Anzio, Italy and the rest of the film was shot at a studio in Rome).
If it's a sleaze-filled film you want, bursting with hardcore sex and
gratuitous, gory violence, look no further than this film, because
your prayers (to the gods Jupiter and Eros) have been answered. The
screenplay hits all the right notes, making this a sleazehound's
dream come true.
Originally released in a severely edited version on VHS by Trans
World Entertainment (TWE), which was missing over 20 minutes of
sex and violence. The DVD-R offered on Amazon, by Mutant Sorority
Pictures, is the uncut, uncensored version. The sections missing from
the English dubbed versions are in Italian with non-removable English
subtitles. The print looks good when enlarged to fit a HDTV screen,
but some of the subtitles are cut off at the bottom of the screen
(the non-removable subtitles are placed below the image). Still, you
won't find a better disc of this film in the U.S. (no legit DVD or
Blu-Ray at the time of this review). I was ready to trash this film
because, unlike most critics, I was a fan of the original CALIGULA,
but this film's sleaze factor won me over, as only Joe D'Amato could
deliver. Also featuring Larry Dolgin (TOP
LINE - 1988), Charles Borromel (MONSTER
HUNTER - 1981), Bruno Alias (SPASMO
- 1974), Ulla Luna and porn actor Mark Shannon. Not Rated for
all the obvious reasons.
THE
CANDY TANGERINE MAN (1975) -
John Daniels (BARE KNUCKLES
- 1977; FLESH EATING MOTHERS
- 1989) plays The Baron, the baddest pimp on the Sunset Strip (He
says to a white hooker, "Choose me and you'll have the world by
the asshole!"). Two vice cops, portrayed by Richard Kennedy (as
"Edward Roehm") and George
'Buck' Flower (as "C.D. LaFleuer"), try to entrapt the
Baron using a male officer in drag, but the Baron grabs the officer's
nuts and drives away. Baron plays a game of nine ball against
competing pimp Dusty (who talks in rhyme) for ownership of new girl
Heather (Feng Lan Linn). When Dusty scratches on the last ball (he
calls the cue ball "a honky piece of shit"), Baron takes
Heather to a bus stop, buys her a ticket home and tells her to
"Find some Indian or Spic and have lots of babies". Baron
may be a pimp, but he's a pimp with a conscience. He keeps his
pimping a secret from his wife Clarice (Marilyn Joi, using the
name "Tracy King") in the suburban neighborhood they live
in with their two young kids. To them, he is known as "Ron
Lewis", a loving husband and father whom they all think is an
IBM salesman! Baron starts running into serious problems when Mob
kingpin Vince Di Nunzio sends his goons to Baron's whorehouse, where
one goon cuts off the right breast of one of his whores. All Baron's
whore's go into hiding or go to work for Dusty, temporarily putting
him out of business. Baron goes on the warpath and goes after all the
people who are harming his business. He goes to Dusty's place and
shoves the hand of the goon who cut his whore's tit off into a
garbage disposal. Before he is able to get to Dusty, the two vice
cops show up, but Baron gets away (Flower says, "Black bastard's
got a horseshoe up his ass!"). Baron sets a plan in motion which
involves $250,000 in stolen bonds, which will finally end his
problems with Dusty, Di Nunzio and the vice cops. Baron gets all his
enemies to congregate at a restaurant, where he bursts in, gun
blazing, killing everyone (an effective slo-mo scene). He leads the
two vice cops on a car chase which ends up with the cops going over a
cliff. Baron takes his money and becomes "Ron Lewis" for
the rest of his life. This ultra-low-budget exploitation flick,
directed by Matt Cimber (THE BLACK SIX
- 1974; LADY COCOA - 1975)
and "Featuring the Actual Hookers and Blades of the Sunset
Strip", is a gritty little blaxploitation item with a surprising
human side. We are not even aware of Baron's alter ego until a third
of the way through the film and it does come as a surprise to the
viewer. Baron tries hard to keep his two identities separate and
there's a comical scene where his next doot neighbor sees him on the
city street fully decked-out in pimp clothing and driving a $30,000
pimpmobile (complete with hidden machine guns next to the
headlights), yet she doesn't even recognize him (she actually gets
turned-on, while her fat female passenger says, "They all look
alike to me. Let's go, I'm hungry!"). The fact that Baron is the
only character who is portrayed as a semi-decent human being and
everyone else is a violent bigot, spewing vitriolic, racist dialogue
and killing everyone in sight. The scene near the finale, where the
two vice cops are teetering over a cliff in their car (Flower
screams, "I swallowed my gum!") and try to make a deal with
Baron for their lives is one of the most comical and satisfying
pieces of cinema I have seen in quite a while. I actually enjoyed
this film and it's always nice to see the late George 'Buck' Flower
get a meaty role (he's both comical and brutal, as witnessed by his
rape of Heather). Matt Cimber (real name: Matteo Ottaviano, who was
once married to Jayne Mansfield for a short time) used Buck in most
of his 70's and 80's films and THE
CANDY TANGERINE MAN is one of their best. Dig it! Also
starring Tom Hankerson, Mikel Angel (a great exploitation writer/director/actor
who nearly steals the show as the goon who slices off the whore's
breast, has his hand removed in the garbage disposal and spends the
rest of the film with an interchangeable hook on his stump!), Eli
Haines, Marva Farmer, Barbara Bourbon and George Pelster. Originally
released on VHS by Unicorn
Video. Soon out on DVD from Subversive
Cinema. Rated R.
CHEERLEADERS'
WILD WEEKEND
(1979) -
A schoolbus containing cheerleading squads from three diverse high
schools (innocent, urban and ritzy), on their way to a competition,
is hijacked by a gang of criminals looking for a big ransom payday.
The criminals, led by Wayne Mathews (Jason Williams of FLESH
GORDON [1974] and DANGER
ZONE [1986]), are all former football stars who were injured
on the field. They drive the bus to an isolated house in the
mountains, where the cheerleaders discover that their female
chaperone, Frankie (Courtney Sands), is in on the kidnapping. George
Henderson (Anthony Lewis), the violence-prone black member of the
gang, tells the girls that they are now prisoners of the
"National American Army Of Freedom", a ficticious
revolutionary group (used to ruse the police). The NAAF demand two
million dollars for the safe return of the girls and a Governor's
assistant announces at a press conference, attended by the girls'
worried parents, that the Governor will not pay the ransom, but they
have set up a program where the parents can apply for low-interest
loans to pay their share of the ransom, providing they pass a credit
check! As you can imagine, this plan doesn't go over too well. Wayne
keeps the police at bay by phoning in his demands and instructions
for the ransom drop-off through popular
DJ Joyful Jerome's (Lee Curtis) radio program. As the day
progresses, George, Frankie, Billy (Robert Houston) and the
slow-witted Big John Hunsacker (John Albert) decide to hold a
"Beauty Contest", where they make some of the cheerleaders
strip and prance around. Not surprisingly (since this is a 70's
cheerleader flick), the girls begin to like it until Big John tries
to rape Lisa (Ann Wharton). Frankie saves Lisa, but she then puts the
moves on her in the bathroom when Frankie cleans her up. The cops
demand proof that the girls are OK, so Wayne picks Debbie (the lovely
Kristine DeBell) to call into the radio station. Wouldn't you know
it? Wayne and Debbie hit it off. One of the girls, Afton (Janet
"Janus" Blythe), unsuccessfully tries to escape (she holds
George off with a chainsaw for a few moments). All of the girls put
their differences aside and formulate a plan of escape. While Wayne
and brother Billy are out collecting the ransom money, the girls use
their bodies and cheerleading experience to get even with their
captors. Using fire, cheerleading moves and a rope made from their
panties (!), the girls overpower Frankie, Big John (who shoots
himself in the foot) and George, throw them in the bus and drive off
to the waiting police. The girls, led by Debbie, let Wayne and Billy
get away with the ransom because thet are basically nice guys, after
all. I think I have a tear in my eye. This late 70's
sexploitation/crime drama, directed by Jeff Werner (DIE
LAUGHING - 1980), contains plenty of eye-popping nudity from
a cast of genre vets. While the plot may be standard "Girls In
Peril" stuff, the execution is pretty funny in spots (especially
the press conference) and there is palpable tension in some of the
later scenes. Although most of the violence is implied rather than
shown, there's more than enough action and female flesh on view to
keep even the most jaded viewer occupied. The ransom drop-off is
pretty amusing, especially when one of the cops (who says, "Oh,
bat shit!" a lot) describes a ransom plot he saw on a TV show a
couple of months before and his partner then realizes that they have
fallen for the same ruse. Wayne and Billy's final escape from the
cops after getting the ransom is filmed like a football game,
complete with passing, blocking, tackling and a Sousa marching tune
on the soundtrack. If you don't mind a lack of violence (no one is
killed), lots of naked women (and, really, who doesn't like that?)
and a playful sense of humor, this lighthearted film (also known as THE
GREAT AMERICAN GIRL ROBBERY and BUS 17 IS MISSING) is a
good bet. Bill Osco (THE BEING
- 1982), who was the Executive Producer here, also worked with star
Jason Williams (who also co-scripted and Associate Produced) on FLESH GORDON.
Producer Chuck Russell would later go on to direct A
NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET
3: DREAM WARRIORS
(1987), THE BLOB (1988) and some
Hollywood blockbusters. Co-stars Janus Blythe and Robert Houston
previously appeared together in THE
HILLS HAVE EYES (1977) and later appear together again in
it's asinine 1984 sequel.
The beautiful Kristine DeBell (MEATBALLS
- 1979; THE BIG BRAWL - 1980)
has a smile that could melt a glacier, but she doesn't have one nude
scene. Her film career was ruined when it was disclosed she appeared
in a porn film (Bud Townsend's X-rated ALICE
IN WONDERLAND - 1976). Too bad. The girl had talent. Also
starring Marilyn Joi (billed here as "Tracy King"), Lenka
Novak, Leslie King, Lachelle Price, Janie Squire, Alton Fields, Billy
McVay and Andrew J. Kuehn (director of the horror compilation TERROR
IN THE AISLES - 1984). A Vestron
Video Release. Also available on DVD
from Scorpion Releasing. Rated R.
CLASS
OF 1984 (1981) - Prophetic look at
a school system gone to the dogs (or, in this case, a gang of punks).
Brand new teacher Andrew Norris (Perry King) is assigned to the high
school from Hell, where drugs, violence and sex run rampant, thanks
to a gang of drug-pushing punks led by Peter Stegman (Timothy Van
Patten). The naive Andrew is instantly befriended by biology teacher
Terry Corrigan (Roddy McDowall), who carries a gun in his briefcase
and tells Andrew that if he wants to survive, he better learn to look
the other way (When Andrew spots the gun in Terry's briefcase, he
asks, "What's the gun for?" to which Terry replies,
"Where have you been teaching lately?"). Of course, being
the idealistic new teacher that he is, Andrew doesn't heed Terry's
warning and immediately pisses-off Stegman and his gang by throwing
them out of his first class; a band recital (where it is revealed
that Stegman is an accomplished classical pianist!). At first, the
gang's retribution is small stuff, like spray painting graffiti on
Andrew's car and squirting stage blood in his face, but it soon
develops into more serious (and deadly) retribution when Andrew
starts messing with their drug business. When one of his band
students freaks out after taking some of Stegman's drugs, climbs a
flagpole and falls off, killing himself, Andrew tries to get the dead
student's best friend Arthur (a baby-faced Michael J. Fox) to rat-out
Stegman, but he refuses because he knows that Stegman will have him
killed. After firebombing his car, setting up Andrew to make it look
like he beat the crap out of Stegman (Stegman brutally pummels
himself in front of Andrew) and killing all the animals in Terry's
biology lab (there are skinned rabbits on spits and a dead cat
hanging by a noose on view), Andrew finally gets wise and begins
dishing out punishment to Stegman that can't be traced back to him
(like trashing Stegman's car). Things get much worse when Stegman has
Arthur stabbed in the stomach, Terry goes crazy and holds Stegman and
his gang hostage with a gun in his class (Terry eventually dies later
that night when he tries to run over Stegman with his car and it
flips over and explodes) and Stegman and his punks kidnap and
gang-rape Andrew's pregnant wife Diane (Merrie Lynn Ross), giving
Andrew a Polaroid of the rape just as he is about to conduct the big
band concert in the school's gymnasium. Using Diane as bait, Stegman
tries to kill Andrew, but as the old saying goes, you can only push a
man so far before he tosses humanity into the wind. In the best
revenge film tradition, Andrew begins killing members of Stegman's
gang one-by-one, by table saw, immolation, lead pipe and crushed
under a car, until only Stegman is left. In the immortal words of
Stegman: "Life is pain. Pain is everything." This
gritty and violent exploitation flick, an 80's version of THE
BLACKBOARD JUNGLE (1955), is a terrific mixture of a school
system gone very wrong (this may be the very first film to show metal
detectors on school grounds) and the only rational way to fix it:
by
taking the law into your own hands (ah, good-old American
vigilantism!). Director/co-scripter Mark L. Lester (TRUCK
STOP WOMEN - 1974; BOBBIE JO
AND THE OUTLAW - 1975; COMMANDO
- 1985) knows how to push all the right emotional buttons, as we
witness Andrew turn from idealistic young teacher into a
take-no-prisoners vigilante. Even though all logic is thrown out the
window early on (the school's principal [David Gardner] is one of the
most ineffectual and maddening people I have ever had the displeasure
of viewing and the police, led by Canadian vet Al Waxman [SPASMS
- 1982], are beyond worthless), CLASS
OF 1984 is a slam-bang revenge thriller with much to
recommend. Both Perry King (SEARCH
AND DESTROY - 1979) and Roddy McDowall (THE
LEGEND OF HELL HOUSE - 1973) are terrific, as is Timothy Van
Patten (ZONE TROOPERS
- 1985; now an Emmy-winning TV director and writer) as the punk born
with a silver spoon in his mouth (his back-story is fascinating, as
well as frightening). The violence on view is brutal, especially
Andrew's revenge spree in the finale. The reason why this film works
so well, though, is because it refuses to pull back or cop-out (even
though Stegman has a chance to have his like saved by Andrew, he
pulls out a knife and tries to slice Andrew when he offers a helping
hand) and the school is one of the dirtiest, graffiti-laden learning
centers in film history (making it a character unto itself). A true
80's exploitation classic. Director Lester remade the film in 1990 as CLASS
OF 1999, another excellent exploitationer with a sci-fi
twist (the teachers are cyborgs that punish the bad students), which,
in turn, spawned an inferior sequel, CLASS
OF 1999 II: THE SUBSTITUTE (1994), directed by Spiro
Razatos. Michael J. Fox, who was twenty years old when he appeared in
this (his role here is not huge, but is integral to the plot), looks
about thirteen, tops. Also starring Stefan Arngrim (FEAR
NO EVIL - 1980), Neil Clifford, Keith Knight (MY
BLOODY VALENTINE - 1981) and Lisa Langlois (THE
NEST - 1987) as members of Van Patten's gang. Alice Cooper
sings the opening tune ("I Am The Future") and punk rock
band Teenage Head appear as themselves. Filmed under the title GUERRILLA
HIGH. Originally released on VHS by Vestron
Video and available on widescreen DVD from Anchor
Bay Entertainment. Also available on an extras-packed Blu-Ray
from Scream Factory. Rated
R.
CRACK
HOUSE (1989) - This is a
late-80's Cannon Films Production, so you know what to expect:
Violence, a tiny bit of social relevance (for the time, anyway) and a
ton of racial stereotypes. Here, nearly every black and Latino
character is a drug pusher, drug user or gangbanger (or a combination
of all three), which may not sit too well with the NAACP or George
Lopez, but it makes for a totally goofy exploitation flick. Parts of
the film take place at a high school that makes the one in CLASS
OF 1984 (1981) look like a Disney vacation, where bars are
on the windows, drugs are openly sold and violence is a daily
occurrence (the film opens with a bloody knifing in the boys room
between a dissatisfied black customer and a Latino drug dealer). The
film focuses on what seems are the only two do-gooders in town: Rick
Morales (Greg Gomez Thomsen) and his girlfriend Melissa (Cheryl Kay),
both high schoolers trying to live a clean life in a society that
otherwise lives dirty. Rick has avoided gangs and drugs to become a
Grade A student, working at a burger joint at night to help support
his family, while Melissa hopes one day to
become a famous fashion designer while also taking care of her
eternally-soused, gin soaked mother (Angel Thompkins; THE
FARMER - 1977), who doesn't care for Rick (she's not only a
drunk, she's a racist). When Rick goes to borrow his older brother's
car (he's the leader of the local Latino gang) so he and Melissa can
celebrate her birthday, a local rival black gang shows up and kills
Rick's brother in a hail of gunfire. This causes Rick to once again
start wearing gang colors (he's an ex-gangbanger) and as new leader
of his brother's gang, he leads them on a raid of the black gang's
headquarters. After a massive shootout, the police, led by Lt.
Johnson (Richard Roundtree; KILLPOINT
- 1984), show up and Rick is arrested and jailed for attempted
murder. When Melissa comes to visit him in prison, Rick tells her to
forget about him because he is now a lost cause. Melissa is nearly
gang-raped by the drug-addled Chico (Albert Michel Jr.) and the rest
of the Latino gang (talk about loyalty!), but she is saved by B.T.
(Clyde R. Jones), a black drug dealer who hooks her on crack and
cocaine (Rape or drug addiction? Hmmm...that's a hard choice!). She
becomes B.T.'s (which stands for "Big Time") crack whore
and her grades at school rapidly decline; so much so that teacher Mr.
Dockett (Anthony Geary; PENITENTIARY
III - 1987) takes a personal interest in her. Since this is
a Cannon Film, we know that his interest in her is not pure in the
least. When B.T. is robbed of all his crack by Chico, he pimps out
Melissa to Mr. Dockett (who turns out to be a major drug pusher) in
exchange for some crack. The city's biggest black drug supplier, Mr.
Steadman (Jim Brown; BLACK GUNN
- 1972), takes Melissa away from B.T. and makes her his bitch, giving
her daily beatings with a belt while keeping her hooked on crack
(Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston can probably really relate to this
film!). When Rick finds out about Melissa's predicament, he cuts a
deal with Lt. Johnson to help bring down Steadman if he's allowed out
of prison. Rick goes on a one man crusade to stop the drug trade and
rescue Melissa from her crack whore existence. Can he do it?
There's not much in the way of common sense on display here, but
director Michael Fischa (DEATH
SPA - 1988; DELTA HEAT
- 1992) and screenwriter Blake Schaefer pack the film with so many
offensive racial stereotypes, bloody shootouts and hilarious stabs at
social significance, not to mention some intentional funny dialogue
(When Lt. Johnson looks at Mr. Dockett's dead body, which has just
been torn apart with a shotgun blast, he turns to his partner and
says, "We're going to have to start paying these teachers more
money!") and overblown drug references, it's hard not to enjoy
this film, even if most of the time it's for the wrong reasons. This
is one of those rare films where the mighty Jim Brown plays a bad guy
for a change and he's believable in the role. He's not his usual
anti-hero here, but a full-blown nasty-ass scumbag, which is a rarity
for Brown. Even though Brown is top-billed, he doesn't show up until
the final third of the film (his total screen time is ten minutes,
tops), but he makes a big impression. CRACK
HOUSE manages to cram a lot of sleaze into its 91 minute
running time, including nudity, rape, crack smoking (Melissa's
transformation from healthy teen to skinny crack whore is a hoot),
torture, gunfights and knifings. I can't think of a better
recommendation than that. Also starring Heidi Thomas, Kenny Edwards
and Joey Green. Originally available on VHS from MGM/UA
Home Entertainment and available on widescreen DVD from MGM Home
Video. Rated R.
CRUEL
HORIZON (1989) - Remember the
plight of the Vietnamese Boat People after the fall of Saigon in
1975? Well, here's a film that pretends to care about their hardships
while piling-on one sleazy scene after another. The film opens on
April 28, 1975, the day all hell broke loose in Saigon. American
reporter Nick Vandam (Bruce Baron; FIREBACK
- 1983) hopes to take his Vietnamese girlfriend Mai (Jessie Elmido)
back to the States with him, but they become separated at a
checkpoint and Nick is forced to leave without her, but he promises
to come back and find her. Six years later, Nick is a successful
businessman in Brussels, but he can't get the image of Mai's pained
expression of being left behind out of his mind. Nick's secretary
(Ingrid De Vos) keeps trying to get him in bed, but all he can see is
Mai's face, so he keeps turning her down (even when she suddenly
appears at his front door and strips completely naked!). A couple of
weeks earlier, Nick received a letter from Mai postmarked from
Thailand, where she professes that she still loves him (Which brings
up the film's biggest unanswered question: Why has Nick waited six
years to search for Mai?). Nick decides to fly to Thailand to look
for Mai with only the letter as his guide. The only clue he
has is that she is headed somewhere in south Thailand and when Nick
arrives in Bangkok, he is appalled to discover how many young
Vietnamese women are abused as sexual playthings by foreign tourists.
Nick hires a guide named Sarapong (Louis Kee) to drive him to south
Thailand and so the adventure begins. Meanwhile, Mai is on an
overcrowded boat on her way to south Thailand, where she must barter
for basic necessities like water and food. Sarapong takes Nick to a
yacht owned by Nick's old war buddy Mike Forrester (Francois
Beukelaers) to help him look for Mai, but Nick soon discovers that
Mike is nothing but a profiteer, a common sea pirate. Nick also finds
out that searching for a lost love in these territories is a
dangerous undertaking, as Mike takes him to refugee camps looking for
Mai (while Mike takes care of some illegal business of his own) and
discovers the rancid, putrid conditions the refugees must survive
daily, including constant pirate attacks. Speaking of pirate attacks;
Mai's boat is boarded by a band of Thai sea thieves (this is after
Mai has to suffer the indignity of shaving some fat Vietnamese
broad's armpits and then is forced into a lesbian encounter with her,
just so she can have some food and water), where they shoot and stab
the men, toss the ugly women overboard to drown, cut off one child's
head (and toss another young kid in the water, where the pirates use
him for target practice!) and kidnap the young women (including Mai)
to rape, abuse and sell into prostitution. Can Nick reform Mike to
care about all the inhumanity going on around him and rescue Mai?
Will he find true love before Mai's soul, as well as her body, is
destroyed beyond all recognition? While the first thirty
minutes of CRUEL HORIZON is relatively bloodless and
violence-free, the remainder of the film will throw the viewer for a
loop with its bloody killings of men, women and children; nudity that
stretches the boundaries of good taste; and a mass rape sequence on a
beach where the pirates rip the clothes off their captives and
sexually assault them, blindly killing those who put up a fight (When
one refugee tries to defend his grandmother, he gets a machete
planted in his neck for his troubles!). Director/producer Guy Lee
Thys (THE PENCIL MURDERS
- 1982), who co-wrote the screenplay with Leon Lemahieu, tosses-in so
many scenes of human suffering and degradation, as well as unusual
sights (including a dwarf brothel owner and what looks like the
actual burning of a real human corpse), it's hard to believe that
this film could actually be taken as a serious statement about the
plight of the Boat People. Believe me, this Belgium/Philippines
co-production is sleazy exploitation for the majority of its running
time, with bloody castrations, face burnings, pissing on people,
trips to whorehouses even hardcore pedophiles would think twice about
visiting, and tons of nudity, but very little of it (besides Nick's
secretary) titillating. This is one of the largest roles of Bruce
Baron's career (he spent the majority of the 80's appearing in
Godfrey Ho/Joseph Lai's cut-and-paste ninja flicks), although he
spends most of his screen time asking people, "Are you
Vietnamese?" (It would make a good drinking game). This film is
an emotional downer, but if you like your sleaze cut thick and tasty,
give it a try. Joonee Gamboa (W
- 1983) appears as Sarit, a bugle-playing first mate on Mike's yacht.
When Mike's boat snatches German tourist Horst (Jan De Bruyne) out of
the water, Sarit plays the German national anthem on his bugle! Also
starring Marilyn Bautista, Spanky Manikan, Ding Navasero, Len Santos
and Robert Tongko as the pirate leader. Never legitimately released
on home video in the U.S.; the print I viewed was sourced from a
Greek-subtitled VHS tape. Not Rated, for so many reasons.
CRUISIN' HIGH (1975) - Always pay close attention when a film opens with quotations, such as these two dubious passages, which are shown on-screen before the film begins:
"Juvenile
gang violence is a corrosive acid eating away at the structure of
our society" - Police Chief Edward M. Davis, Los Angeles
Police Department.
And:
"We
are caught up in an epidemic of violence, murder has no meaning,
killing has become a game, a way of life. The kids aren't afraid any
more, the public is." - Captain Rudy DeLeon, Los Angeles
Police Department.
If
you take these quotations at face value, it's amazing that anyone
survived Los Angeles during the 70's. But, of course, Los Angeles
did, indeed, survive and I bet those two high-ranking police
officials who supplied those quotes wished they toned-down their
rhetoric somewhat. This film (originally known as CAT
MURKIL AND THE SILKS) tells the story of Eddie
"Cat" Murkil (David Kyle, who had a very short-lived acting
career in
the mid-to-late-70's, including a bit part as Judith's boyfriend in
John Carpenter's HALLOWEEN -
1978), a normal looking teen with a blonde shag haircut, who happens
to be a member of a street gang called The Silks. When Cat isn't
spray-painting his name on every overpass or building wall he can
find, he's cruising with his gang, which includes gang leader Punch
(Derrel Maury; MASSACRE
AT CENTRAL HIGH - 1976), Marble (Meegan King; HUMANOIDS
FROM THE DEEP - 1980) and Bumps (Don Carter), looking for
chicks, getting drunk and beating up the members of rival gang Los
Raidos, a Mexican gang who constantly cross into their turf. Even
though they are somewhat young, The Silks act like they own the town,
walking into any store and taking what they want without paying. Cat
is extremely touchy on the subject of his older brother, Joey (Steve
Bond; THE PREY -
1980), a member of The Silks who is now in prison for murder. Punch
belittles Cat every chance he gets and Cat is growing tired of it, so
when Los Raidos ambush their car, Cat shoots and kills Punch and
makes it look like the Mexicans were responsible. Cat takes over
leadership duties of The Silks, but police Detective Harder (Rhodes
Reason), who has had many run-ins with both Cat and Joey, doesn't
believe Cat's version of Punch's death. Cat's first order of business
as leader is to put out hits on the leaders of their Mexican rivals,
so he sends two of his members to stab them in the shower of their
high school gym, which they do, but they are spotted by the football
coach (John Ashton; BEVERLY
HILLS COP - 1984) and Detective Harder brings the Coach to
The Silk's high school to identify the stabbers when one of the
Mexicans dies of their wounds. Cat, who is a very insecure and
ineffectual leader, begins to make some very bad decisions (such as
pissing-off a Black drug gang and terrorizing one of his teachers and
her wheelchair-bound mother at their home), leading The Silks into a
deadly downward spiral. When everyone finally realizes what a chicken
shit Cat is (he even tries to rape Joey's wife, but fails miserably),
Cat loses leadership of The Silks and then resorts to murder to get
even. When he discovers what Cat has done, a recently paroled Joey,
the Los Raidos gang and Detective Harder teach Cat and The Silks a
lesson they will never forget. A deadly lesson. There's really
not much to recommend here, especially David Kyle as Cat, who carries
90% of this film, but he's such a bad actor, the only thing he's is
really capable of carrying is my groceries to my car. His acting
ability is severely wanting, which makes his role as leader of a gang
about as believable as Liberace in a role as a lady's man. Director
John Bushelman (the editor of DINOSAURUS!
[1960] and the director of DAY
OF THE NIGHTMARE [1965]), working with a screenplay by
producer William C. Thomas, offers one of the most unrealistic
portrayals of L.A. gang life in 70's film history. The Silks are one
of the most whitebread street gangs I have ever seen and are about as
threatening as my toothless grandmother holding a butter knife. The
violence is mild for an R-rated film (even when Los Raidos crash a
house party thrown by The Silks, it's bloodless) and, while there is
some female nudity, the majority of bare flesh is of the male
variety, which is good for gays, not good for everyone else. I can't
honestly understand what director Bushelman was aiming for here. It
fails horribly as a gang drama (Although I loved the boxes marked
"TV Set" that Cat and The Silks steal from a warehouse in
the finale. No brand names, just "TV Set"!) and lacks the
basic elements for a good exploitation film. The circular ending
tries to be meaningful (A traitorous Bumps, who killed Cat, sends his
condolences to Cat's mother at his funeral, just as Cat did to
Punch's mother at his funeral, with the same results), but it only
comes off as forced and, at 104 minutes, CRUISIN'
HIGH is stuck in neutral for way too long. Don't bother
unless you are a fan of 70's style fashion and haircuts. That's all
this film has to offer. Also known as L.A.
GANGS RISING and STREET KIDS OF AMERICA. Also
starring Kelly Yaegermann, Joe Renteria, Ruth Manning, Douglas
McGrath, Mike Tucker, Ricardo Militi, Gregory Castillo and Doodles
Weaver. Originally released on VHS by Lightning
Video and not available on DVD. Rated R.
THE
CURIOUS DR. HUMPP (1967) -
This is perhaps the weirdest, wildest and wackiest film I have ever
laid my eyes on. This late 60s obscurity is must viewing for
anyone whose taste is for the odd and abnormal. Mad scientist Dr.
Humpp (Aldo Barbero) kidnaps men and women, doses them
up with aphrodisiacs and drains them of their blood while they are
having sex. The doctor then drinks the blood to keep himself
eternally young. But wait, thats not all! Lets not forget
about the docs robot assistants, who were previous victims of
the doctors botched experiments. They are now mindless deformed
creatures (who resemble a scarred Zippy the Pinhead with a flashing
light in the middle of the forehead!) who kidnap victims for the
doctors sexual experiments. One robot even plays guitar to get
a captive woman in the mood for sex! But wait, theres more! The
curious doc has a living disembodied brain in his laboratory that
talks to him! It is the brain of Dr. Humpps mentor and it yells
orders at Humpp at every opportunity possible. (Lets not get
into the scientific possibitities on how a disembodied brain can
speak. Theres not enough space!) There is also a reporter
(Ricardo Bauleo) who gets involved in the kidnapping cases only to be
snatched by Dr. Humpps robots. He is set free by a young woman
(Gloria Prat) and they must try to stop Dr. Humpp before more
innocent sexual lives are lost. Much more insanity goes on in this
film, but I will leave it up to you, the viewer, to experience.
Needless to say, Dr. Humpp, the brain and the robots all meet a
fitting end.This black and white Argentine-made film, originally
titled La Venganza del Sexo
("Sexual Vengeance"), was quite daring for its time
(and still is today), with full frontal nudity and near-pornographic
sex. The nudity is frequent, even if the women have big hairy bushes
and visible vericose veins! Lesbian, straight and oral sex are also
featured quite often. The gore is kept to a minimum (this is 1967)
but there are shots of homemade brain surgery and decapitated heads
hanging in a closet. The film also contains some hilarious dialogue
as when Dr. Humpp pronounces, "Sex dominates the world......and
now I dominate sex!", after hooking the reporter and a girl to a
sex machine. No other film in recent memory contains as much sheer
lunacy as this one. Not released in the U.S. until 1970, Im
surprised it didnt cause an uproar when screened. The
Americanized version, with soft-X sex scenes added by distributor
Jerald Intrator (who will get a future profile in this zine),
embellishes the plot somewhat from the original film, adding the
hilarious dubbed dialogue that spews out of the actors mouths.
The added footage is easy to spot, as it was filmed with different
stock and populated with American porn stars of the day (including
Kim Pope). Im also surprised that more hasnt been written
about this forgotten gem. This is a cult classic waiting to be
rediscovered. Directed by Emilio Vieyra, who also made the
demented THE DEADLY ORGAN ( "Placer
Sangriento"
- 1967).
Both are available for 20 bucks each from Something
Weird Video.
Buy them today! Not
Rated.
CURSE
OF THE ALPHA STONE (1972) -
After a brief audio history on the ancient art of alchemy, this
obscure early 70's exploitation flick opens up with Professor Abe
Adams (Jim Scotlin) making love to his girlfriend while a piano
concerto plays in the background. After some slow-motion sex,
Professor Adams continues his experiments in creating the
Philosopher's Stone, an object that gives it's creator untold power.
He's very close to finding the secret when some of his students steal
his research papers and copy them. When the Dean gets his hands on
his papers, he comes up with a way to win back his uptight wife (porn
star Sandy Carey), who happens to be Professor Adams' landlady.
Adams creates the Philosopher's Stone (after donning some magical
jewelry and chanting, "Science and mysticism can be
merged!") and he uses pieces of the light-and-smoke-emitting
stone to create a powder, which he mixes with wine and gives to a
Black homosexual guy to drink (he thinks he's going to get high!). He
ends up turning straight, steals a female mannequin and makes love to
it (!) and then goes out and rapes a series of women. He goes to a
psychiatrist, who hypnotises him, where we find out that he has
become possessed by an eternal being called Alpha and is cured of his
homosexuality (does the Christian Right know about this?). This
upsets his fat White boyfriend who says, "What's the matter with
you bitch? There's something queer going on around here and I'm going
to find out what it is!" Meanwhile, Professor Adams cooks up
another batch of powder and it's effects start affecting the
occupants of the apartment house (the maid becomes so horny, smoke
comes shooting out between her legs!). The whole apartment complex
comes down with sex fever and the females visit Dr. Adams to have sex
with him, including his landlady, who turns from dowdy to sexbomb in
no time at all. It all ends rather suddenly as the Black homosexual
breaks into the Professor's apartment, grabs the stone and there a
huge puff of smoke. We then see the landlady walking down the street
dressed in her sexy clothes. THE END (?). The outrageous storyline to
this little-seen flick is almost enough to make this worthwhile
viewing. Almost. There are too many loose threads when the film ends,
as the Dean's plan is never explained and the students stealing the
Professor's notes leads nowhere. Those two plot points are the reason
why I felt cheated when it ended. So much could have been done with
them. There's plentiful nudity (including a nice turn by porn star
Sandy Carey as the frigid landlady) and all the women look good
undressed (no silicon here, folks). The real problem is that the
acting is abhorrent, the pacing slow and one-time director Stewart
Malleon treats rape as a recreational activity rather than a crime
(as did most porn features of this period). As a matter of fact, this
film looks like a porn movie without the graphic sex. There's also
very little violence, just some bleeding from the eye and a death by
rape in the finale. Sometimes films are obscure for a reason. Also
starring Lowell Smith, Olivia Enke and Caroline Ronchetti. Jeffrey C.
Hogue plucked this out of the vaults in 1985 and released it through
his Majestic International Pictures. Something
Weird Video had this as a VHS release in their catalogue at one
time. The print I viewed was off a DVD-R (in surprisingly good shape)
from 5 Minutes To Live. Not
Rated.
DARKTOWN
STRUTTERS (1974) - This
outlandish comedy blaxploitation film exists in some alternate
universe (it's very loosely based on the Cinderella fairy tale).
Syreena (Trina Parks) and her band of colorfully-dressed female
bikers ride around in tricked-out three-wheeled choppers and get into
a bunch of adventures. They're hassled by Marines (Syreena and her
girls throw lemon meringue pies in their faces and kick them in the
nuts while the USMC song plays in the background), the police (who
drive around in a patrol car with the biggest flashing red light on
the car's roof that you will ever see) routinely stop and frisk them
for no reason at all (Dick Miller and Milt Kogan are members of the
force) and Syreena is challenged to a race by scooter-riding Mellow
(Roger E. Mosley) and his all-male gang of harmless retards. When
Mellow loses the race, Syreena takes him back to his place for some
hanky-panky (She says to Mellow, "If you ever try to rape me
again, I'm gonna break everything that hangs, dangles or swings!"
To which he replies, "You're the kinda woman to make a man
wanna start a fight and lose!"). Syreena goes home to visit her
brother Flash (Gene Simms, who is always kung-fuing his way through
doors and windows, eventually the whole front of his house falls
down!), where she learns that their momma Cinderella is missing. She
went to work one
day and never returned. It seems like a lot of important black
people have gone missing lately. Could these disappearances have
anything to do with Colonel Sanders-lookalike Commander Louisville
Cross (Norman Bartold), "diehard barbecue millionaire" and
founder of the Cross Foundation, who says in a speech to black
reporters, "I intend to see that those who gave it to me, get it
back!" ? Syreena goes undercover as a cop to investigate her
mother's disappearance and learns that several prominent black males
are also missing. Syreena learns (from someone dressed like Aunt
Jemima!) that her mother was running an abortion clinic before she
went missing. Syreena is then captured by the KKK and brought to
Commander Cross' mansion, where she is forced to watch a minstrel
show (Where she has to listen to cringe-worthy jokes as: "What's
the first half of a word that comes out of every black baby's mouth?
Mother...!") and Cross shows her his cloning operation. Cross is
attempting to clone all the black leaders he has kidnapped and use
the clones to further his political career. Syreena finds her Mom in
Cross' dungeon, learns the whole truth and escapes (forgetting to set
her mother free!). With the rallying call "The Klan is coming!
The Klan is coming!", Syreena gathers all her friends to defeat
Cross' dastardly plan. You got to love a film that opens up
with the following on-screen statement: " Any similarity
between this true life adventure and the story Cinderella...is
BULLSHIT! "
Filled with too many visual and audio gags to catch in one viewing,
you'll have to watch this at least three times to take it all in. For
a film that is rated PG, this film contains many jokes that would be
found offensive today (if Al Sharpton ever finds out this was
directed and written by white men, he would surely lead a boycott to
remove this film from circulation), from a tasteless hanging gag in a
jailhouse; the cops' "Nigger Alarm" that sounds off every
time a black person is near; a white police inspector (Charles Woolf)
who goes undercover in blackface, dressed as a woman, only to be shot
by his own men, who mistaken him for a black intruder (!); and the
KKK show up riding motorcycles with huge wooden crosses attached to
their seats. That's not to say that the white people in this film get
off any easier. The all-white police force are nothing but a bunch of
buffoons (Dick Miller even handcuffs a black person's dog!) and one
member, Tubbins (Charles Knapp), is so fat, he gets stuck in every
doorway he walks through. The script, by George Armitage (who
directed HIT MAN - 1972; VIGILANTE
FORCE - 1976 and MIAMI BLUES
- 1990, among others), is all over the place, but it's such an
equal-opportunity offender, there's no way anyone could take offense
with this. Directed by TV and film veteran William Witney (MASTER
OF THE WORLD - 1961; I
ESCAPED FROM DEVIL'S ISLAND
- 1973) as some very colorful fractured fairy tale (the costumes, as
well as most of the sets, use every bright color known to man). It
really makes no sense, but it's funny as hell and visually appealing.
There's some great motorcycle stunts (look for the sign for
"Awful Knawful: The Fatal Motorcyclist"), a hang-gliding
gag involving one KKK member's sheet and a Keystone Cops car crash
where the car just falls to pieces. Not to mention some great musical
numbers, including a rendition of "What You See Is What You
Get" by The Dramatics as prisoners in Cross' dungeon. Cloning
was a hot topic at the time this film was made. Produced by Gene
Corman for his brother Roger's New World Pictures. Also starring
Shirley Washington, Bettye Sweet, Stan Shaw, Frankie Crocker, Sam
Laws, DeWayne Jessie and Edna Richardson. Re-released to theaters in
1976 (to cash-in on the CAR WASH
craze) under the title GET
DOWN AND BOOGIE (also its edited TV title until Turner
Classic Movies aired it uncut under its original title in December
2009). Originally released on VHS by Charter
Entertainment. Available on a two-film DVD from Eastwest
Entertainment along with BLACK
FIST (1975). Rated PG. "Pancakes!"
A
DAY OF JUDGMENT (1981) - God
sends the Grim Reaper to a small southern town to exact revenge on
the people who have broken The Ten Commandments in producer Earl
Owensby's regionally filmed religious allegory set in the 1930's. The
town priest resigns his post because his sermons only draw three old
ladies to the church. (They show up at various times in the story to
introduce the characters.) Every
one of these people deserve their fate: The town drunk who blames
everyone but himself when his wife leaves him and he loses his job;
The obese banker who enjoys foreclosing on loans; The shopkeeper's
wife who is having an affair with one of the clerks; The son who
commits his parents to the county home so he can sell their gas
station and home and move out of town; The bitchy old widow who
poisons a child's goat because it got in her prized flower bed. The
widow is pulled underground by bodyless arms in her flower bed as the
pit goes ablaze. The son goes crazy after seeing the Reaper and is
committed to the State Asylum. The banker is locked in an icehouse
(Talk about freezing your assets!) and is dispatched by the glowing red-eyed
scythe carrier. The shopkeeper's wife and clerk kill her husband and
are burned to death when lightning strikes the house. The drunk is
beheaded by Grimmie after he shoots his wife and ex-boss. At the end
the Reaper gathers all his victims together and shows them what is in
store for them: A burning eternity in Hell. Then they all wake up in
their beds and realize it was just a dream. They all change their
ways and that Sunday the new priest plays to a full house. His
sermon: "Ye are what ye shall reap." Although unrated this
film contains no nudity and very little blood except for a brief shot
of a decapitation. Decently acted, especially for an Owensby
production. Maybe that is because Owensby decided to stay behind the
cameras this time. He is pretty awful as an actor, as can be seen in
his films DEATH
DRIVER
(1977), WOLFMAN
(1979) and DOGS
OF HELL
(a.k.a. ROTTWEILER - 1982).
Believe it or not, his films were very popular at drive-ins and
theaters along the Bible Belt. Taste has no bounds. The only way us
Yankees can see his films is the video route, thank God. I would have
hated to shell out seven bucks at a bijou to see his stuff. Directed
by C.D.H. Reynolds (who directed both OFFERINGS
- 1989 and LETHAL JUSTICE
- 1991 as Christopher Reynolds) and starring William T. Hicks, Harris
Bloodworth, Brownlee Davis and Toby Wallace. A Thorn
EMI Video Release. Unrated.
DEADLY
DAPHNE'S REVENGE (1980) - What a
total heap of stinking trash. This lousy rape/revenge exploitation
flick is about four men who pick up hitch-hiker Cindy (Laurie Tait
Partridge) in their RV. They stop at a secluded hunting lodge where
Charlie, the raving racist
of the group, rapes her. After the rape she runs into the woods and
the four men continue on their trip. Cindy goes to the D.A. to
bring a case against Charlie, but he convinces her to file charges
against all four men. All four are arrested on rape charges and
released on bail. The three innocent men slowly see their reputations
and businesses go down the crapper thanks to the false charges and
Bruce (the nerd of the bunch) commits suicide after his wife files
for divorce and he loses a huge insurance contract. Steve (who is
Charlie's half-brother) loses his coaching job at his school. The
final man, Bobo, works at Charlie's business and does whatever
Charlie says, even though his wife leaves him and won't let him see
his kids. Charlie hires some Mob muscle to kill Cindy, not knowing
that Cindy has dropped her suit (she feels guilty about Bruce's
suicide and actually likes Steve). Charlie's lawyer tells him that if
anything happens to Cindy, the police will know it was him, so he
tries to stop the hit but is told by the Mob that it's too late to
call it off. Charlie talks Steve into taking Cindy back to the
hunting lodge to hide out until he can find the hit man and call it
off, but an escaped female mental patient from Charlie's past (the
Daphne in the title) manages to throw a monkey wrench into the
proceedings. Piss-poor on every level, this film (also known as BACKLASH
and THE HUNTING SEASON) tries to portray our justice system as
a flawed mess (which it is) and the people who hold the power as
vindictive (which they are), but does it in such a half-assed manner
that all you can do is shake your head in disbelief. The film looks
like it was edited by someone with ADS as it jumps from
scene-to-scene in mid-sentence and various shots fail to match in the
same scene. Charlie is such a raving racist (isn't it interesting
that "racist" and "rapist" only differ by one
letter?), spouting rants about Jews, Blacks, Polish and the Spanish
(he even shoots a helpless dog!), that it's hard to believe he's the
owner of a successful business and the most powerful person in this
film. One-time director Richard Gardner, who also portrays on of the
four men, gives this film a 70's TV movie look. If it weren't for the
nudity on view in the beginning and some foul language, it could very
well pass for one. A bad one. Leave it to Troma to dig up some
obscure piece of crap, retitle it and try to pass it off as something
new and exciting. It's their specialty. Don't fall for it. Troma
lists this as a 1987 production, but by the looks of the hair styles,
clothing and automobiles, it had to have been made at least several
years earlier. Also starring Anthony Holt, John Suttle, Alan Levy and
a rail-thin James Avery in an early role. A Troma
Team Release. Distributed by BCI on DVD as part of TOXIE'S
TRIPLE TERROR VOL. 1 three-film set. Rated R.
THE
DEATHHEAD VIRGIN (1972) -
Underwater treasure hunter Jock Gaynor discovers a sunken ship
loaded with pearls and accidently unleashes the title creature, a
siren with a beautiful body and a skull-like face, in this not
uninteresting Filipino production. It seems the old gal has been
chained beneath the sea since 1850 and when Jock removes an amulet
from around her black-tressed skeleton she returns to life. Jock
wears the amulet, against his native helper's protest. Soon he begins
to lose track of time and pieces of his memory, as well as obtaining
the annoying habit of scalping the female Filipino population as a
token sacrifice to the coyote-ugly bitch. The local legend states
that once the Deathhead Virgin is revived, seven virgins must be
ritually sacrificed to appease her for wrongs done to her in the
previous century. Jock has been appointed to carry out the deed.
Jock's friend and business partner, Larry (Larry Ward), arrives on
the island and after some pleasantries (getting drunk, sharing the
same woman and playing hot-potato with a lit stick of dynamite!),
begins to notice that Jock is not himself. After witnessing (and
stopping) Jock's attempted scalping of a woman, Larry chases him back
to the shipwreck where Jock drowns and Larry captures the siren and
chains her back up. The next day the skeletons of Jock and Larry are
found on their drifting boat. This is only the first hour of the film
and is told in flashback to Jock's wife (Diane McBain) by police
inspector Vic Diaz (VAMPIRE
HOOKERS [a.k.a.
SENSUOUS VAMPIRES]
and countless other Filipino films). Wifey is also on the island for
other reasons, which will not be divulged here. Rent the film to find
out. For once, the Filipino actors do not slaughter the English
language which makes this a cut above most Philippine-made horror
movies. It was also produced by the two leads. Larry Ward co-wrote
the screenplay with Jock Gaynor, both sharing the pseudonym "Ward
Gaynor". This got sparse theatrical bookings in the U.S.
Directed by Norman Foster (MR.
MOTO'S LAST WARNING
- 1939; JOURNEY
INTO FEAR
- 1942). An Academy
Home Entertainment VHS Release. Rated
R.
DEATH
OF A HOOKER (1971)
- Back
in the 70's, a PG rating didn't automatically mean family-friendly
fare (like it does today). Sometimes a PG rating meant that you could
make gritty little adult films like this. This is actually a retitled
version of the seldom-seen WHO
KILLED MARY WHAT'S 'ER NAME?, a likable mystery with a
winning performance by the late Red Buttons. Buttons portrays Mickey,
a wise-cracking diabetic ex-boxer, who for some reason takes an
interest in the murder of a prostitute named Mary Di Napoli. He rents
Mary's run-down NYC motel room and begins an investigation into her
death. People don't take too kindly to his questions. He asks
apartment dweller Malthus (Dick Anthony Williams) if he knows who
killed Mary and he says, "Sin. Just like most people."
Mickey saves aging prostitute Christine (Sylvia Miles) from two goons
who rob her and begins a plutonic relationship with her, which she
wishes was more (He says to her, "You don't want me. I'm a
eunich."), but also helps him track down Alex (a young Sam
Waterston), a photographer who is doing a documentary on prostitutes.
Mickey's daughter Della (Alex Playten) and old friend Val (Conrad
Bain) also help Mickey in tracking down Mary's killer. Things turn
deadly as the film Alex was shooting may have something to do with
Mary's death and people who Mickey knows end up dead in the process,
while Della and Alex begin a romantic relationship. What does bigwig
stock-broker Boulting (David Doyle) have to do with Mary's death? As
Mickey investigate further, we begin to understand why Mickey is so
interested in Mary's death. Director Ernest Pintoff (here credited as
"Ernie Pintoff"), who directed a lot of episodic TV in the
70's and 80's, as well as films such as BLADE
(1972) and JAGUAR LIVES
(1979), gives us a good sense of what is must of been like to live in
New York City's Times Square during the 70's, as the atmosphere is
dirty, grimy and, mostly, unpleasant. Red Button is a marvel here,
playing a tough man with a debilitating disease, who loves his
daughter and is relentless in his pursuits. There are also
appearances by the late Ron Carey and Jake LaMotta as bartenders.
This is a tight little mystery of a bygone era when New York was full
of working girls, the cops didn't care and crime ran rampant. The
only difference today is that it's cleaner. Search this one out. A Video
Gems Release. Video Gems released it under this title as well as
it's original title (maybe to get renters to double-dip). Rated PG.
DEATHROW
GAMESHOW (1987) - In 1983,
director/writer Mark Pirro and his "Pirromount Pictures"
(Love that name!) made A
POLISH VAMPIRE IN BURBANK, shot on 8mm film for a little
less than $2,500, and it ended up making over a million dollars in
VHS and cable TV sales (it played consistently on the USA Network's UP
ALL NIGHT in the late 80's) and held the record for the
cheapest film ever shown on TV (for all I know, it could still hold
that record, as long as we don't take streaming films like SKINLESS
[2013; which was made for $2,000] into consideration). Pirro's next
film was this one, probably inspired by the success if THE
RUNNING MAN (1987), but amping up the comedy and working
with a very low budget (around $200,000). At the time of this review,
this is the only one of Pirro's many films to obtain a wide
theatrical release (by Crown International Pictures), where is did
less-than-stellar business, but it is still an interesting document
on reality shows, made before reality shows were actually a reality,
only this film makes death the reality (And, believe me, we are
actually going in that direction in real life, because many reality
show contestants have killed themselves after their 15 minutes of
fame were up. It happens more
often than you think. The vetting process for reality shows needs to
be done better, so people don't end up killing themselves once they
are off-camera. Only a very few reality "stars" have made a
living in show business after their reality show face-time was
over.). In this film, Death Row inmates and other convicts appear on
a game show called "Live Or Die", moderated by the
perpetually happy (at least on-screen) host Chuck Toedan (Pirro
regular John McCafferty) and his female assistant Shanna Shallow
(Debra Lamb; THE INVISIBLE MANIAC
- 1990), where they are given a chance for a pardon or death,
depending if they can answer questions correctly (the show is skewed
so that the convicts die, because that is what the audience wants).
Chuck starts out the latest episode of the show telling the audience
that they ran out of time yesterday (the one thing that this movie
get right is that a week's worth of shows is shot in a day or two,
which is why you may see the same audience members from a show you
watched yesterday) and Convict 9372 (who has his head in a
guillotine) has yet to have "final judgment" passed on him.
Chuck asks the prisoner how he feels ("I'm feeling a little
nervous, Chuck."), because if he answers the next question
wrong, he will lose his head (we see his family in the audience
rooting for him). His question is, "What is the name of this
famous movie (watch the monitor)?" It's footage of a mummy
missing getting his hands on a bikini-clad girl and the mummy says
"Motherfucking son-of-a-bitch!" over and over. For an
instant reprieve, Convict 9372 has to name the title, but he can't
(in a funny bit, the name of the films happens to be
"Curses Of The Mummy"), but before they cut off his head,
he has a chance to win his family members $10,000. If his severed
head falls in the basket face-up, his family will get the money (One
of his kids says, "C'mon Dad, you can do it!"). If it ends
up face-down, the family gets nothing. A smiling Chuck pulls the cord
on the guillotine and the convict's head is cut off. Some judges come
to look in the basket and Chuck gives the thumbs-up. His family has
won the money and start screaming for joy in the audience (Gorehounds
will be disappointed, because there is absolutely no blood or gore in
this film; we don't even get to see the convict lose his head and
there is no blood on the guillotine. The movie is played strictly for
laughs.). After the opening credits roll (Pirro wrote the New
Wave-like title song), we see a bunch of women, headed by the aptly
named Gloria Sternvirgin (Robyn Blythe), protesting the show outside
the studio, holding signs that say "Fuck Chuck", "Chuck
Sucks", "Only God Can Kill" and my favorite,
"Chuck Should Be Aborted" (talk about your mixed
messages!). Chuck comes outside the studio with some guards, gets
into his sporty convertible and says, "See you tomorrow
ladies!" (There's another funny scene where Chuck stops at a
crosswalk where there is a sign that says "Slow Children"
and we see a bunch of kids walking in slow motion across the
crosswalk. Cheap, but funny.). Chuck gets verbally assaulted by a man
in the car next to him while they are stopped at a red light and
Chuck raises his driver side window, where it says "Blow it out
your ass" and he drives off. Chuck's life outside the studio is
anything but cheerful, Besides the problems with Miss Sternvirgin and
her group, Chuck always has the same crazy loon beg him to let him be
on the show when he shows up at the studio every morning, Chuck finds
a naked woman in his bed and she is willing to have sex with him if
he can get her convict boyfriend on the game show and he is always
verbally and physically attacked by complete strangers and criminals
that want a chance to be in his show so they can win their freedom
(not realizing that the show is rigged against the criminals). Chuck
has also run afoul of hitman Luigi Pappalardo (Beano; HOUSE
OF THE WOLF MAN - 2009), who wants Chuck dead because of
what happened on a past show. Chuck had mob kingpin Don Guido Spumoni
(Mark Lasky), known on the show as Convict 9899, strapped to a chair
with an electrode attached to his penis (or as Chuck calls it, his
"wang-dang-doodle"!) and Chuck tells Don Spumoni that
Shanna is about to come out and perform "The Dance Of A Thousand
Boners" and if he gets and erection or any movement on his
penis, he will be shocked with 50,000 volts of electricity and die.
Shanna comes out and does her sexy dance, exposing her breasts at the
end, but Don Spumoni makes it through the dance without a single
movement from his penis. Turns out Don Spumoni was gay and when Chuck
congratulates him for making it through the dance and touches him on
the shoulder, Don Spumoni gets a boner and is electrocuted (it's a
pretty funny concept). Luigi Pappalardo (who was a good friend of Don
Spumoni) was hired by Spumoni's organization to kill Chuck, so Chuck
is dodging Pappalardo the best he can. Back to the present, Chuck is
back on his show and asks Convict 1768 (who was raped in prison the
night before and has to stand; one of the film's low points) whether
he wants what is in the the envelope that Chuck is holding or what is
behind the curtain Shanna is standing next to. He picks the curtain
and Chuck shows Convict 1768 that the envelope contained a stay of
execution, so what is behind the curtain cannot be good at all. As
the curtain opens, we see a noose with a box beneath it. The convict
is hooded and hanged on-air (we don't get to see it, though). It
seems that the popularity of Chuck's show has spread to other media,
especially TV commercials as, in one such commercial, Convict 2811
tastes two versions of cheese spreads. Turns out that one of them is
a new cheese-flavored rat poison and the convict dies. Chuck is then
on a popular talk show, where he is ripped into by Miss Sternvirgin,
but phone-in audience members all seem to support Chuck, which
pisses-off Miss Sternvirgin and she cuts Chuck a new asshole. Chuck
calls her a "stupid bitch" live on-air (and then asks the
host, "Can I say stupid?"). The last call on the show is
from Pappalardo, who says Chuck is a dead man. After the talk show is
over, Chuck pulls Miss Sternvirgin into his convertible, as he runs
over two masked men carrying guns. When Chuck explains to her what is
happening in his life, it's apparent that there is some romantic heat
between the two. Chuck has a nightmare (complete with opening and
closing credits!) featuring him, a naked Sternvirgin and Don Guido
Spumoni, who threatens to kill Chuck, while Chuck changes appearance
throughout the nightmare (you should see him as a toothless
hillbilly!). It ends with a zoned-out Chuck saying, "I'm afraid
of no one!" (which is repeated after the closing credits and the
film ends), while the announcer of the nightmare tells us "This
is the end of the dream". Pappalardo agrees to meet Chuck and
Miss Sternvirgin at his studio office to call of the hit, as long as
he can bring his mother, Mama Pappalardo (Mark Lasky again, who is
hilarious), with him and Chuck can get her tickets to the taping of
her favorite show, which shoots in the same studio lot as Chuck's
show. While Mamma Pappalardo is given the tickets to the show by
Chuck's secretary Trudy (Darwyn Carson; THE
RAPTURE - 1991) and she points the old lady to the direction
of the studio, Luigi Pappalardo (who calls off the hit) thinks that
Miss Sternvirgin is romantically interested in him and takes her out
for a "romantic" lunch. Things go from bad to worse when
Mamma Pappalardo (who Chuck has never met) needs to go to the
bathroom and gets lost, ending up as a contestant on Chuck's show
(The Stage Manager warns Chuck that they don't have the proper
release papers for her, but Chuck says this isn't the first time it
has happened and not to worry about it.). Her "Live Or Die"
task is to carry two cans of gas through a fiery obstacle course
outside. If she makes it to the end, she will be granted a pardon.
The hunched-over Mamma Pappalardo makes it through the obstacle
course (she has to jump through hoops set on fire!) and sets the gas
cans in a makeshift table with lit candles on it at the end of the
course. The table collapses and the candles ingnite the gasoline,
blowing Mamma Pappalardo to bits. The rest of the film finds Chuck
trying to avoid Luigi when Trudy notifies him that he just blew-up
Mamma Pappalardo. Luigi thinks that Miss Sternvirgin has accepted his
proposal of marriage (you wouldn't marry him if you saw the
way
he eats!). Chuck tries to hide the old lady's death and solve Miss
Sternvirgin's problem, but like everything else in Chuck's life,
things don't go as planned. Luigi watches a tape of his mother being
blown-up and wants Chuck dead more than ever, but Chuck pulls some
strings and Luigi ends up as Convict 8981 on his show, where he has
to spell "I Want To Live" with child's wooden alphabet
blocks in a soundproof and airtight room in less than a minute. He
has to spell it before all the oxygen is pumped out of the chamber
(Luigi actually does it, but Chuck kicks the chamber and knocks the
blocks down!). All the oxygen is now out of the chamber and Luigi is
dead. Chuck thinks he is in the clear, but Luigi was merely knocked
out and wakes up in a room full of the corpses of previous convicts
on the show. Chuck wants to quit doing the show, but his manager
convinces him to do one more. Miss Sternvirgin hears the conversation
through the door and then locks a very angry Luigi in a janitor's
closet. A janitor lets Luigi out of the closet and, during the taping
of the last show, he makes Chuck and Miss Sternvirgin get into the
airproof booth and they are rapidly running out of air, but the crazy
loon that begs Chuck to be on his show every morning shoots and kills
Luigi (I guess he is now qualified to be a contestant on the show!)
and Chuck and Miss Sternvirgin are saved. They become a loving couple
and Chuck does, indeed, quit the game show, as we see during the end
credits that he is now doing TV commercials for all types of
products, using the corpses from his old game show as demonstration
dummies. I guess love is blind, as well as stupid. Considering
the subject matter, I was surprised to find that there is not one
drop of blood spilled during the entire film, but thankfully it is
full of topless nudity to keep you occupied though all the bad and
funny humor (There is a lot more bad humor than good, but the good
ones are inspired, such as Chuck's nightmare). Most of
director/screenwriter/co-executive producer Mark Pirro's films (CURSE
OF THE QUEERWOLF - 1988; NUDIST
COLONY OF THE DEAD - 1991; RECTUMA
- 2003; THE GOD COMPLEX -
2009) have been comedies with horror overtones, but he was never a
proponent of blood or gore until his most recent film (at the time of
this review) RAGE OF INNOCENCE
(2014), which is a bloody revenge thriller. While I think this film
is the weakest of Pirro's films (even though it is the only one to
obtain a major theatrical release), the cast look like they are
having a good time (the acting is good for a film this cheap) and
when the jokes work, they are funny. What I like about Mark Pirro and
Pirromount Productions is that all the films are funded in-house, so
Pirro hires himself out to other filmmakers to make the money needed
for his own films (which is why there are so many years between his
films), acting in such films as MONSTURD
(2003) and RETARDEAD (2006),
as well as writing music for other films. Originally released on
fullscreen VHS by Media
Home Entertainment, it was released on an anamorphic widescreen DVD
by Code Red and the print
looks flawless. The DVD also has a running commentary by Pirro and
star McCafferty, as well as exclusive documentaries about making the
film and marketing films with micro-budgets. There are also the usual
Code Red trailers, some for films that Code Red hasn't released yet
(Dammit, release FAMILY HONOR
[1973] and THE BLACK GESTAPO
[1975] already! NOTE: Code Red has since released both of them
on Blu-Ray.). A worthwhile purchase just for the extras. Also
starring Bill Whitehead, Kent Butler ("Is that a wrap?"),
Paul Farbman, David Martinson, Esther Elise, Jim Bruce, Thomas
Johnson, Zach Harris, Cheryl Crosland and Paul Bruno. A Code Red DVD
Release. Rated R.
DELINQUENT
SCHOOLGIRLS (1974) - Crazy
exploitation film where three loony inmates escape from the state
mental asylum for the criminally insane and invade the Oxford
Corrective Institute for Young Women, where the girls are crazier
than the escapees. The stern principal of the institute, Dr. Baxter
(John Alderman), is making a dozen girls stay at the institute during
the holiday vacation as punishment, as most of them are sex-crazy
nymphets who get into trouble at the drop of a bra. Before the insane
trio hit the institute, they invade the home of impotent farmer Earl
(the late George 'Buck' Flower,
sporting a funny pair of false teeth) and his nympho wife Ellie
(Julie Gant). Carl (Michael Pataki) is the leader of the trio and a
celebrity impersonator/rapist. He and Bruce (Stephen Stucker), a
homosexual deviant, entertain Earl by playing songs on the piano and
getting him drunk, while burly Dick Peters (Bob Minor, in a rare
leading role) rapes the willing Ellie. The nutso trio
then go to the institute, where they raid the kitchen and rape a
couple of female cooks (they end up to be willing, of course). After
imprisoning the two girls in a freezer (with an ingenious timelock
made of ice blocks), the trio explore the school, where they find an
elderly teacher (and his snakes) about to have sex with a hypnotized
student (Dick ends up with the snakes dumped on him by the teacher
before he has a heart attack), two pot-smoking girls at the pool who
get Carl and Dick stoned (and Carl nearly drowns) and Dick is is
attacked by by two girls playing croquet. Carl, as punishment, makes
the two girls slap and punch each other until one is unconscious.
They then go to the gymnasium, where a karate class is taking place.
Carl makes all the girls dance like the Rockettes and Dick gets beat
up again, this time by Greta (porn vet Sharon Kelly), when he tries
to take her panties off. Dick and Carl then get the shit kicked out
of them by the girls, while Bruce is manhandled (and liking it) by
the male karate instructor. The police arrive and cart the trio away
and they are glad to be going back to the safety of the asylum (I
prefer to disregard the tacky end scrawl that states they escaped
from police custody and are now at large). Director Gregory Corarito (WANDA,
THE SADISTIC HYPNOTIST - 1969) fills the screen with so many
shots of naked female flesh (including the legendary slow-motion shot
of Roberta Pedon's breasts breaking free of her skimpy shirt while
doing jumping jacks), you almost forget how ridiculous the entire
film really is. The screenplay (by Corarito, producer Maurice Smith
and executive producer John Lamb) seems to be implying that the three
escapees may not be the worst people in this film. They may be crazy,
but at least they have an excuse. There's the elderly male teacher
(Ralph Campbell) who hypnotizes a student so he can have sex with
her; Dr. Baxter, who pretends to be a prude, but is actually having
an affair with one of the teachers and has daydreams of the girls
naked; some good samaritans in a van, who pick up one of the girls
escaping the trio, only to have them turn out to be rapists; and the
girls themselves, who revel in sex and drugs. In the end, it's the
crazy trio who end up being the worse for wear. They commit no
violence (even though Carl threatens violence, but seems incapable of
committing it) but, instead, take the brunt of the punishment from
the girls. Genre vet Michael Pataki (GRAVE
OF THE VAMPIRE - 1972) overacts shamelessly, as he imitates
Richard Burton, W.C. Fields, Richard Nixon and countless other
celebrities while he mugs wildly for the camera. Stephen Stucker (AIRPLANE
- 1980) does nothing but act gay (as he was in real life, before
passing away from AIDS in 1986) and Bob Minor (who is an excellent
stuntman and character actor, appearing in over 200 films since 1970)
sets Blacks back fifty years as a muscular rapist who doesn't see a
white woman he doesn't want to fuck. The violence in this film is
miniscule (mainly consisting of Dick getting beat up) and there's no
blood at all, just plenty of tits and ass (but no bush). This is
definitely a product of the sleazy 70's, where rape is considered a
joke and there are absolutely no consequences for committing it. A
real curio. A lot of reviewers seem to think that this film is a
mean-spirited misogynist's dream, which make me wonder if they really
watched it at all. Also known as CARNAL
MADNESS and BAD GIRLS.
Also starring Brenda Miller, Jane Steele, Zoe Grant, Kay Lange and
Debbie Raymond. A Vestron
Video Release. Rated R.
DEMENTED
DEATH FARM MASSACRE (1971/1986) -
Leave it to Fred Olen Ray. He's taken an early 70's regional
sexploitation film, titled HONEY BRITCHES
(available from Something Weird),
directed by noted film huckster Donn Davison (SHE
FREAK - 1967), slapped less than three minutes of footage of
a feeble-looking John Carradine (playing the "Judge of
Hell") spouting biblical quotes written
on cue cards (he even blows a line!) throughout the film and has the
nerve to take co-directing and co-producing credit! The story is
this: Four thieves (two men, two women) escape the city after just
pulling a big diamond heist. When their jeep runs out of gas in the
middle of nowhere, they travel by foot through the backwoods until
they come upon the shack of moonshiner Harlan (George Ellis of DEMON
HUNTER - 1965) and his new young wife Reba Sue (Ashley
Brookes). It's not long before a clash of cultures ensues, which have
deadly consequences. It's hard to figure out who is worse here:
Harlan, who spouts scripture, accuses his wife of being a whore (yet
is incapable of making love to her) but has no problem ogling the two
city women or the town's Black whore while drinking himself into a
blind stupor; or Kirk, the thief who watches Reba Sue undress and has
no problem smacking women around and raping them (although Reba Sue
ends up liking it) to satisfy his urges. With their cover blown
(thanks to a radio broadcast), the thieves take Harlan, Reba Sue and
retarded helper Toby hostage and a series of unfortunate events
happen (including the death of one of the female thieves) which
culminates in Harlan getting some bloody revenge, which includes some
pitchfork, bear trap and gun violence. This slice of early 70's
hillbilly cinema (which also includes such films as PIGKEEPER'S
DAUGHTER
- 1972 and COUNTRY CUZZINS
- 1971) is poorly acted but is highly watchable thanks to the
frequent female flesh and some off-the-wall one-liners ("Is that
a real gun?" "Well, it isn't an ice cream cone!"). The
frequent interruptions by Carradine and new library music tracks (not
to mention the new title sequence) inserted by Fred Olen Ray are a
real distraction and add nothing to the film. The fact that nothing
much happens until the last twenty minutes of the film's 83 minute
running time may tax some viewer's patience, but if you view this as
the Southern exploitation rarity that it is, you'll have some fun
with it. Also starring Trudy Moore, Mike Coolik, Jim Peck and Pepper
Thurston (she's one tall drink of water!). Also known as MOONSHINER'S
WOMEN and SHANTYTOWN HONEYMOON. A Troma
Team Release distributed on DVD by BCI as part of TOXIE'S
TRIPLE TERROR VOL. 1. Rated R.
DEPORTED
WOMEN OF THE SS SPECIAL SECTION
(1976) - I really despise the Naziploitation genre (to find out
why, read my review of SS HELL CAMP
- 1977), but I am a fan of director Rino Di Silvestro (WOMEN
IN CELL BLOCK 7 - 1973; WEREWOLF
WOMAN - 1976; THE
EROTIC DREAMS OF CLEOPATRA - 1983), billed here as "Alex
Berger", so I decided to give this film a look. Unfortunately,
this film lacks Di Silvestro's usual sharp edge (he also wrote the
screenplay), making this nothing but
a sleazy excuse to show women being debased, degraded and tortured. I
know there are fans of this genre and I wish one of them would tell
me why they find films like this appealing. I just don't see it.
A group of women are on a Nazi train, packed in a car like sardines,
headed for a concentration camp (they call it a "prison",
but I think we know better). The film is centered on Tania Nobel
(Lina Polito), a young woman, whose only crime was kissing a man who
was not a member of the "Aryan Race" (I think we know what
they mean). The Nazis take Tania's boyfriend outside, place him
against a wall and take his life at the hands of a firing squad, with
Tania put on this train for God knows what. Before they get to the
camp, two of the women try to escape, only to get gunned down, their
dead bodies put back on the train with the women, a reminder that
escape is impossible. These women have no idea what they are in
store for. Some of them will become prostitutes, used to
sexually satisfy Nazi soldiers, some will be tortured or experimented
on, all of them will suffer.
Once at the camp, the evil Helga (Erna Schurer; RIOT
IN A WOMEN'S PRISON - 1974), the female head of the camp,
forces the women to strip (a female guard uses her baton as a dildo),
take a shower (the pre-requisite full-frontal nudity scene), have all
of the hair on their bodies removed, including pubic hair (shown in
loving close-up) and are assigned to blocks. We then meet some of the
women, including Angela (Stefania D'Amario; CITY
OF THE WALKING DEAD - 1980) and Monique (Sara Sperati; SALON
KITTY - 1976), but everyone at the camp seem more interested
in Tania, especially Herr Erner (John Steiner; THE
ARK OF THE SUN GOD - 1983), the cruel commander of the camp
(one of the female prisoners tells Tania to get use to the atrocities
that will be performed on her because "We lost the war.").
We then learn that Tania met Herr Erner five years earlier. While she
was riding her bike down a country road, Herr Erner spots her, gets
off his motorcycle and tried to rape her, but she escaped. She won't
have that luxury here. One of the female guards, Greta (Solvi
Stubing; STRIP NUDE
FOR YOUR KILLER - 1975) forces Angela to give her oral sex,
causing a jealous Helga to get into a catfight with her ("She's
my property!"), ending with her biting Greta's nipples. Tania
can't believe what she is seeing, telling female prisoner Mara
(Felicita Fanny; THE BIG BUST-OUT -
1972) that she must be having a nightmare. Mara tells her to wake up
and accept it, or they can escape. Mara has a plan on how to escape,
but she needs Tania's help.
Tania becomes "friendly" with guard Frederick (Cesare
Barro) and he tries to help her cope with what is happening to her
but, the next morning, Herr Erner forces Tania to make love to
Frederick in front of all the prisoners, humiliating her. When Herr
Erner gets Tania alone, he shames her for giving up her virginity to
a Polish (Jewish) man, telling her that she will be hanged and he
will personally "tighten the noose around your neck." Tania
not only has to put up with Herr Erner and the cruel guards, she also
has to deal with lesbian prisoners who want to make her their latest
conquest. Tania finally gives in and becomes Mara's girlfriend, but
Herr Erner is not done with her, making her, and other female
prisoners, to become prostitutes, laughing at her while forcing
Angela to perform oral sex on him ("Look at me! You have to
look!"). When Tania refuses to watch, he has underling Dobermann
(Guido Leontini; THE VALACHI PAPERS
- 1972) take her to a private cell. Tania begs Dobermann to have sex
with her, knowing full well that Herr Erner is watching and will
become jealous. Instead of getting jealous, Herr Erner makes Tania
perform oral sex on Dobermann. We then discover that Herr Erner is a
homosexual and Dobermann is his boy toy.
Shit, I can't continue! While I know every director can't make a
winner 100% of the time, deciding to write and direct a film like
this, with no morals or redeeming social value, is beyond the pale.
This is nothing but a misogynist's dream come true, as women are
beaten, mistreated, humiliated and put in situations that shouldn't
happen to a dog. There is a scene in the film where Helga hits Angela
over and over on her head with a baton, turning her scalp into a
bloody mess, killing her, all because she refuses to tell her the
name of her female lover. When that happened,
it was time to call this film what it really is: Trash. Putrid,
odorous trash. John Steiner overacts so badly, you'll want to laugh,
but you won't, because of the subject matter. The word "Jew"
is not uttered once in this film, rather calling them
"uncivilized", "barbaric" and even
"Polish", but you know what they are talking about. Most of
these Italian Naziploitation flicks never mention Jews. It's their
way of justifying the subject matter, legitimizing torture and the
abuse of the fairer sex. That is why I find these films
disgusting. While they basically have the same plots as "women
in prison" (WIP) films, the swastikas and sights of Nazi regalia
remind us that this is nothing but exploiting a period in our history
that we should be ashamed of. Using these symbols of hate for
entertainment value makes me wanna puke. I'm not Jewish (actually I'm
German!), but I can understand when I hear an elderly Jewish person
say "never forget." I can only feel contempt for filmmakers
who exploit such a tragic period in our history. I can't help it,
that's just the way I am. Di Silvestro tries to justify this film by
having Tania shove a razor blade up her hooch, so when Erner rapes
her, he is then castrated, bleeding all over the sheets. He calls out
to Dobermann to shoot her, but he shoots Erner instead. Tania ends up
dead, too. Intelligent people will see this film for what it actually
is, a poor exercise in bad taste. I will now get off my soapbox.
Originally
filmed as LE
DEPORTATE DELLA SEZIONE SPECIALE SS (a literal translation
of the review title), this never obtained a theatrical release in the
United States, just like the majority of Italian Naziploitation
films. This was released on fullscreen VHS by Video City
Production and received several DVD releases, by BCI Eclipse (long
OOP), Intervision (hard to find at a cheap price) and the way I
viewed it, from Full Moon,
as part of their Full
Moon's Grindhouse Collection. The print is windowboxed and looks
perfectly acceptable when enlarged to fit an HDTV screen. If you
are reading this and are a fan of the genre, please drop me an email
and tell me why you like these films. I promise to keep it
professional and will not shame you in print. I really want to know!
Also starring Paola D'Egidio (MANDINGA
- 1976), Ofelia Meyer (CONTRABAND
- 1980), Giorgio Cerioni (CROSS
CURRENT - 1971), Maria Renata Franco and Rik Battaglia (AMAZONIA:
THE CATHERINE MILES STORY - 1985) as Dr. Schubert, the
camp's psychotic physician. Not Rated, due to close-ups and
lingering shots of female genitalia.
THE
DEVIL'S MEN (1976) - I remember
watching this film on VHS in the mid-80's and being unimpressed,
finding this Greece-lensed, English-language exploitationer somewhat
boring and tame, lacking the nudity and gore that would make it a
good exploitation film, but this (and all other home video versions
released in the U.S.) were the PG-Rated theatrical version, missing
over five minutes of footage. The fine folks at Scorpion
Releasing located a beautiful Unrated anamorphic widescreen
version of this film and released it for the first time on U.S. home
video on a double
feature DVD (with Norman J. Warren's TERROR
- 1978) and I'm glad to report that those extra five minutes make for
a much better viewing experience. The film opens in a small town in
Greece, with a group of cult members, all dressed in different
colored hooded robes (that would make the KKK envious), walking up a
mountain to a secret sacrificial altar, where a stone statue of a
Minotaur rises from under the ground, shooting fire out of its
nostrils. Baron Corofax (Peter Cushing, in one of his rare pure evil
roles), who is the leader of the cult and wears the only red robe,
puts his hood over his head and watches as a young girl (the
single-monickered Christina) plunges a dagger into
the hearts of a tourist couple the cult has kidnapped (a scene
missing from the PG edit). Father Roche (Donald Pleasence, who seems
to be having a good time in Greece) calls Police Sgt. Vendris
(Fernando Bislani) to report the tourists missing, telling Vendris
that this isn't the first time that this has happened, but he blows
the good Father off (we saw at the sacrifice that Vendris was there,
wearing a blue hooded robe, a suitable color for a policeman!). After
Father Roche pulls a small gold idol of a Minotaur out of his desk
drawer, he then writes a letter to his good friend Milo Kaye
(director Costas Carayiannis, acting under the pseudonym "Costas
Skouras"), a private detective in New York City, asking him to
come to Greece and solve the cases of the missing tourists. We then
see Milo reading the letter, while his girlfriend (Jane Lyle) steps
out of the shower and tries to talk Milo out of traveling to Greece
(this entire sequence plays with the girlfriend in both full-frontal
and topless nudity, which is missing from the PG edit). Back in
Greece, Father Roche gets a visit from good friend Beth (the
single-monickered Gelsomina), an archaeologist who has brought along
fellow archaeologists Ian (Nikol Verlel Verlekis) and Tom (Bob
Behling) with her. They are here on an archaeological dig, after
finding a small gold idol of a Minotaur's head in the ruins nearby
(Father Roche takes one look at it and knows that it means trouble).
Ian and Tom head out on their own to scout the area where they are
going to dig and discover a stone slab on the ground depicting a
medieval double-bladed war axe (the same symbol we saw at the
entrance of the sacrificial altar in the beginning of the film). They
lift the stone slab, finding a secret underground chamber, which they
explore, discovering the dead corpses of the two missing tourists
(the female corpse is topless and that shot is missing from the PG
edit). They then look up to see the stone statue of the Minotaur
spewing flames from its nose, while a disembodied voice says,
"Those who enter the unopened chamber of the Minotaur must
die!" and both Ian and Tom end up missing. Beth meets the suave
and obviously rich Baron Corofax as she is walking out of a shop (the
shopkeeper's daughter is the young girl who stabbed the two tourists
in the sacriface) and she accepts a ride from him to take a look at
some ancient artifacts in his mansion, but she becomes creeped-out by
the Baron's behavior after a short time there and leaves on foot,
only to be captured by some cult members dressed in black-hooded
robes. That makes five missing tourists in a matter of a few weeks,
so Father Roche phones Milo in desperation (which he should have done
in the first place), pleading with him to come to Greece, which Milo
does. Father Roche also gets a visit from Beth's older sister Laurie
(Luan Peters), who is also searching for her missing sister. The trio
begin their investigation, where a few of the people they talk to
either end up murdered (one woman they talk to is discovered with a
noose around her neck) or retract what they earlier said out of fear.
It becomes obvious to the trio that Baron Corofax is behind it all
(he doesn't even try to hide his involvement, since his wealth and
influence literally lets him get away with murder). After a few close
calls, where cult members try to kidnap Laurie a couple of times and
the Baron's chauffeur Max (George Velvis) tries to run over Father
Roche and Milo (The Father say to Milo, "Did you have to push me
so hard?"), both the Father and Milo discover Beth, Ian &
Tom's hidden van, where they get behind the wheel and arrive just
moments after we witness the shopkeeper's daughter sacrifice Beth and
Ian (we see the blades enter their hearts, more scenes missing from
the PG edit), but they manage to catch and beat the snot out of a
fleeing Sgt. Vendris, who is still wearing his blue robe. At the same
time this is happening, several black-robed cult members finally
kidnap Laurie from her hotel room and take her to Baron Corofax, who
hypnotizes her into believing that this whole nightmare will end if
she sacrifices Father Roche (Laurie has a nightmare where she is
graphically stabbing the Father, which is also missing from the PG
edit). Laurie's will and mind prove a little too strong, though, for
the hypnotism to work, so the Baron has to come up with an alternate
plan. When Father Roche and Milo go to the Baron's mansion to make
him release Laurie in exchange for Sgt. Vendris, the Baron pulls out
a shotgun, fires a warning shot and makes our two heroes release
Vendris and leave without Laurie. Because Laurie's will is so strong,
the Baron decides that she and Tom will be next to die on the
Minotaur's altar. Milo shows up and fires a few bullets into some
cult members, but they have no effect, so they capture Milo and
decide to perform a triple sacrifice. Father Roche enters the
sacrificial chamber holding a ruby-encrusted crucifix, speaks in
Latin and throws holy water on the statue of the Minotaur, causing it
to explode in a million pieces and stopping the Baron himself from
plunging a dagger into Laurie's heart. The Baron, as well as the rest
of the adult cult members then bloodily explode, too (a major
sequence missing from the PG version, finally giving us closure about
what really happened to the Baron and his cult, since the PG version
suggests the cult members die when the chamber collapses), leaving
Laura, Tom, Milo and Father Roche to survive the whole ordeal. The
only cult members to survive are the children (including the
shopkeeper's daughter), as Father Roche tells Milo he may need his
help again in the future when these children turn into adults (Me? I
would have hacked all these children to pieces to make sure history
doesn't repeat itself, but since Father Roche is a man of the cloth,
he has no other choice but to let them leave and walk down the
mountain). We watch the children cult members walk down the mountain
while a cheezy rock tune called "The Devil's Men" is heard
(sung by Paul Williams, yes that Paul Williams, but it sounds
nothing like him and it doesn't play over the end credits of the PG
version) while the final credits roll. The song keeps playing for two
minutes
after the screen turns black! While nothing earth-shaking,
this film, released theatrically and on VHS in the U.S. under the
title LAND OF THE MINOTAUR,
is still a watchable exploitation item. Donald Pleasence seems to be
having a good time here (I'm sure he loved shooting the film in
Greece) and there's a running joke throughout the film where Father
Roche complains about Milo's driving, first complaining that he
drives too fast and then complaining that he is driving too slow. It
was also great seeing Peter Cushing playing a totally evil role for a
change. Even when he tries to be charming with Beth, his personality
just oozes the personification of evil, a role that came few and far
between for Cushing (although he was also pure evil in STAR
WARS, made a year after this film). The missing five minutes
of footage here seem to be major sequences of nudity (the opening
between Milo and his totally nude girldfiend is almost two minutes
long) and fleeting shots of gore (especially knives entering boodies)
until the completely surprising exploding bodies finale, which shows
blood and bits of human parts flying everywhere (Also, the title
"The Devil's Men" comes shooting out the Minotaur's fiery
nostrils in the opening credits and not a badly-inserted title card
as we see in the PG version). If you have only seen this film in its
PG-Rated version and didn't like it, I would recommend you watch
Scorpion Releasing's DVD. You will probably enjoy the film a lot more
than you previously did. Director Costas Carayiannes (real name:
Kostas Karagiannes) is not much of an actor, but this film doesn't
force him to be one. All he has to do is act tough in certain scenes
and have a few, brief funny conversations with Donald Pleasence. He
made a lot of films in Greece (he passed away in 1993, after
directing an amazing 151 films from 1960 to 1991), but precious few
of them made it to the States. One exception was DEATH
KISS (1976) which he directed using the name "Dacosta
Carayan" and was released to U.S. theaters as THE
RAPE KILLER and had a VHS release under its less
exploitative title from Prism
Entertainment. This is one of screenwriter Arthur Rowe's rare
forays into films. He was better known for writing episodes of TV
series (including the episodes "The Energy Eater" and
"Legacy Of Terror" of KOLCHAK:
THE NIGHT STALKER [1974 - 1975]) and producing 137 episodes
of the long-running series FANTASY
ISLAND (1977 - 1984; also writing 13 episodes). Music
producer extraordinnaire Brian Eno (an original member of the band
Roxy Music) composed the film's music score, which he has done with
dozens of films, including Dario Argento's (TERROR
AT THE) OPERA (1987). THE
DEVIL'S MEN had many VHS and DVD releases of the PG-Rated cut
(usually under the Crown International Pictures theatrical LAND
OF THE MINOTAUR title); on budget VHS releases from both United
American Video Corp. and Interglobal
Home Video and then on DVD from Mill Creek (as part of their
multiple Crown International "Drive-In
Cult Classics" DVD compilations), Deimos Entertainment
(with Warren's TERROR, as part
of the now-defunct "Crypt Of Terror" line) and then on a double
feature DVD from Code Red
(with the soap opera-ish thriller BLOOD
MANIA - 1970). But if you want to see this film the way it
was originally made, your only choice is the double feature DVD from
Scorpion Releasing. It is now listed OOP, but you can still find it
fairly cheaply on eBay and Amazon. Not Rated.
THE
DIRTIEST GAME IN THE WORLD
(1970) - In this counterculture sexploitation film with a
political agenda, party bigwig R.J. (Coleman Francis) sends
strait-laced political candidate Titus Moore (Titus Moody) out to get
the "hippie vote". R.J. believes that in order to win the
election (he's running for State Representative, although documentary
footage of the 1968 Democratic Presidential convention is shown in
the opening minutes) Titus must infiltrate "these pot users and
LSD smokers and suck them over on our side". Complicating matters
is Titus' drunken shrew of a wife, Felicia (Sheryl Powell), who puts
him down every chance she gets ("You're not man enough to do
anything!"). Titus tells Felicia that when this election is
over, their marriage is over, too (This is after she strips naked and
drunkenly makes love to Titus, who also strips naked to reveal the
hairiest ass I have ever seen!). Titus and assistant Frank (Frank
Millen) go to the "Citizens Committee To Legalize Marijuana"
to start his undercover campaign. A pot-smoking hippie named Bruce
(Bruce Beard) puts them in touch with hippie chick Jean (Jean Stone,
who we first see dancing naked to an organ-heavy tune), who pulls a
joint out of her snatch and offers it to Titus and Frank. Frank
declines, but Titus takes a deep hit and the next scene shows Titus
and Jean naked (Frank is gone), while Titus eats jam and peanut
butter out of her pussy. Jean then straps on a dildo and fucks Titus
in the ass, while a poster of W.C. Fields looks on approvingly! When
Titus reports back to R.J., it's apparent that he is taking kindly to
the hippie lifestyle. Titus makes it clear again to Felicia that he
is leaving her, so she tries to shoot him with a pistol, but misses.
Titus rapes her while choking her with his belt. Frank, who has
feelings for Felicia, tries to get R.J. to call off the hippie
infiltration, but he refuses. Titus (who now smokes pot every chance
he gets) enjoys his new life with Jean and they screw every chance
they get. Frank puts the moves on Felicia (we see her a few moments
before, masturbating in the kitchen, using the corner of a counter
and the refrigerator door as sex toys!) and Titus catches them having
sex in the bedroom, but he doesn't care! A perturbed Felicia
confronts Jean but, instead of fighting, they become lesbian lovers
(They make love in the middle of an oil field as the pumps chug up
and down!). Jean, being a hippie, dumps Felicia after she is done
with her, so Felicia follows her to an orgy, where she spots her
husband fucking a multitude of women. Later on, Felicia (dressed in
bondage gear and carrying a whip) joins in on the orgy and goes
crazy, stabbing Bruce with a dagger. The orgy-goers (including Titus)
hold her down while Jean rapes her with a strap-on (the same strap-on
she used to fuck Titus in the ass). Felicia runs to the bathroom,
mutilates herself with a razor and then commits suicide by sticking a
pistol up her vagina and pulling the trigger! After witnessing
Felicia's suicide, Frank grabs the gun and begins shooting-up the
orgy,
killing Titus and them himself. The final scene shows R.J.
introducing his latest candidate to run for State Representative:
Jean! This is the first feature film from director James Bryan,
who also gave us ESCAPE TO PASSION
(1970), I LOVE YOU I
LOVE YOU NOT (1974), BOOGIE
VISION (1977), LADY
STREET FIGHTER (1978), DON'T
GO IN THE WOODS (1981; his best-known film), THE
EXECUTIONER PART II (1983) and HELL
RIDERS (1984). As you can see, Bryan can't be accused of
churning out quality entertainment, but THE DIRTIEST GAME IN THE WORLD,
for all it's inherent flaws, including atrocious acting (Titus Moody
is horrible, as is nearly everyone else), chainsaw editing, camera
noises and bad sound, is still a hypnotic experience. Though not a
hardcore flick, it still goes way beyond the boundaries of an R
rating (it would get an NC-17 if rated today) and the final few
minutes are truly unexpectedly shocking and must be seen to be
appreciated. Anyone who says they saw this coming is a big fucking
liar! The self-mutilation/suicide sequence is very hard to watch and
is as bloody as anything H.G. Lewis was doing at the time. I have to
wonder how audiences handled this sequence in theaters, going in
expecting a nudity-filled sexploitationer and then viewing a woman
slicing into her sexual organs with a razor blade (I'm sure Walt
Davis' SEX PSYCHO
[1971] had the same effect). This barely feature length (a little
over 64 minutes) little-seen film was briefly released
on VHS during the mid-90's, when Titus Moody (who died in 2001)
and James Bryan joined together and released a few of Moody's rare
60's & 70's movies, which also included OUTLAW
MOTORCYCLES (1966) and THE LAST AMERICAN HOBO (1967).
During his time away from "legitimate" films during the
70's & 80's, Bryan directed hardcore porn features using the
pseudonym "Morris Deal" (HIGH
SCHOOL FANTASIES - 1974; TEENAGE
THROAT - 1974). The only recognizable actor (besides Moody)
is Coleman Francis as R.J., who starred in Russ Meyer's MOTOR
PSYCHO (1965), Ray Dennis Steckler's BODY
FEVER (1969) and directed the notorious badfilms THE
BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS (1961), THE
SKYDIVERS (1963) and RED
ZONE CUBA (1966). If you ever get lucky and find a copy of THE
DIRTIEST GAME IN TOWN, grab it and thank your lucky stars. A
Strange Video VHS Release. Also available on a triple
feature DVD from Code Red,
with ESCAPE TO PASSION and I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU NOT
(all in their original aspect ratio) as part of a "James Bryan
Film Festival" (essential to fans of this kind of film). Rated
X.
DRUM
(1976) - After the phenomenal and unexpected success of MANDINGO
(1975), producer Dino De Laurentiis fast-tracked a sequel with only
boxer-turned-lousy-actor Ken Norton returning, but in a different
role (since he died in MANDINGO).
Not so strangely, non-actor Norton is the worst thing about DRUM,
a violent, sexy and racially-charged exploitation film about slavery
with a top-notch genre cast. It's about fifteen years after the first
film and Hammon Maxwell (Warren Oates; RACE
WITH THE DEVIL - 1975; Perry King played the same character
in the first film), the patriarch of Falconhurst Plantation, must put
up with a multitude of problems both with his family and his stable
of slaves. After a short history of slavery in North America, where
we learn Marianna (Isla Vega; BRING
ME THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA - 1974, also starring Warren
Oates), a successful New Orleans madame who had a black baby and
named him Drum (Norton), who was raised by black slave Rachel (Paula
Kelly), we are then transported to an opulent party thrown at
Marianna's bordello. Drum, who is serving food and drinks, catches
the eye of effiminate slave trader Bernard DeMarigny (John Colicos; BATTLESTAR
GALACTICA - 1978-1979), the party's host, who leeringly
mentions to his younger gay partner that Drum would make a good stud
(yeah, right!). Bernard plans to have a display of
pugilistics in the back of the bordello, but when one of the boxers
doesn't show up, he forces Marianna to offer Drum as an opponent (For
those too young to remember, Ken Norton was briefly a boxing champion
in real life). Drum's opponent is Blaise (Yaphet Kotto; TRUCK
TURNER - 1974) and the bout quickly turns into a no-holds-barred
wrestling match, complete with biting (Mike Tyson would be proud),
kicking and elbowing, and eventually Drum wins. Bernard wants to
cut-off Blaise's balls for losing, but Drum convinces Bernard to give
Blaise to Marianna (Even through all the bloody punching and biting,
Drum and Blaise become fast friends). To show his appreciation,
Bernard lets Drum pick out one of his slave girls as his woman, so he
picks Calinda (Brenda Sykes; GANJA
& HESS - 1973), but when Bernard sneaks into their
bedroom for a three-way (Bernard is more interested in Drum's sweet
asshole than Calinda's pussy), Drum slugs him in the face with
Bernard vowing painful revenge. Bernard shows up at the bordello with
some men with the intent of cutting Drum's balls off, but when Rachel
is shot and killed for interfering and Drum nearly kills Bernard
(Drum is under the impression that Rachel was his mother), Marianne
sends Drum to Hammond Maxwell and Falconhurst Plantation, where the
main slaves' job is not picking cotton, but "studding
niggers". Marianna also throws-in Blaise and white whore Augusta
Chauvet (Fiona Lewis; THE FURY -
1978) as part of the deal, but Hammond doesn't want Calinda because
it will interfere with Drum's stud duties. Hammond buys slave Regine
(Pam Grier; COFFY - 1973) to take
care of the needs of Augusta, who hopes to weasel her way into
Hammond's life and become the next Mrs. Maxwell. Augusta becomes the
terror of Falconhurst Plantation, complaining about everything and
physically and emotionally abusing the slaves, especially Regine, who
Hammond wants to use as his black "bed wench". Hammond
wants Augusta to tame his out-of-control daughter, Sophie (Cheryl
"Rainbeaux" Smith; LASERBLAST
- 1978). The vulgar, but somewhat likable, Hammond takes Drum under
his wing, teaching him how to ride a horse and putting him in a
supervisory position over the other slaves. The horny Sophie
unbuttons the pants of all the male slaves and plays with their
"snakes", so Drum makes it his personal responsibility to
keep Sophie away from Blaise, because if Hammond finds them together,
it would be instant castration. The snotty Sophie makes a false
allegation to her father about Blaise ("He put his thing in my
hand!"), but Hammond catches her raising her skirt in front of a
chained Blaise and sends her off to finishing school. When Hammond
throws a party to announce his marriage to Augusta and the whole town
shows up, including Marianna, Bernard and cruel slave trader Zeke
Montgomery (Royal Dano; GHOULIES II
- 1987), Drum discovers that Blaise has been castrated (by Augusta's
orders), so he sets Blaise free and starts a slave revolt, which
leads to a night of death and destruction. As Falconhurst Plantation
burns to the ground, Hammond, Marianna and Drum are the only
survivors, but Hammond can't let Drum stay and makes him run for his
life into an uncertain future. DRUM
was originally directed by Burt Kennedy (HANNIE
CAULDER - 1971; WOLF
LAKE - 1978) before Dino DeLaurentiis fired him (the only
time Kennedy has ever been fired from a film) and replaced him with
Steve Carver (BIG BAD MAMA - 1974; CAPONE
- 1975). Supposedly, about 70% of the footage on-screen is Kennedy's
and it's my guess that everytime we see a naked female breast that it
is Carver's footage. The screenplay, by Norman Wexler (JOE
- 1970; RAW DEAL - 1986), is
full of exploitable elements, including rape, prostitution, slavery,
castration and whippings, but it could have been a lot more sleazier
than it turned out. While there is plenty of nudity and violence,
none of it presses the boundaries of a Hard R like MANDINGO
did. Even Bernard's castration by Drum's hand is implied rather than
shown. There is also a lot to like here, too, from Warren Oates
playful performance as a slave breeder (his dialogue about
popping-out little "suckers" is hilarious), to a cast of
seasoned pros, but DRUM is
missing something that would make it a classic of its genre: more
sleaze and less soap opera. Oh, and less Ken Norton. Also starring
Lillian Hayman, Alain Patrick, Clay Tanner and Lila Finn. Originally
released on VHS by Vestron
Video. Also available on fullscreen British DVD from Castle Home Video. Released
on DVD & Blu-Ray from Scorpion
Entertainment through Kino
Lorber Home Video. Rated R.
ECSTASY
INC. (1980)
- Professor Rasputin (Gabriel River) and Dr. Christina
(Christina Anderss) run a popular sex clinic in Paris. When they are
not curing couples of their sexual problems, the Professor cruises
the streets in his sports car and picks up female hitchhikers.
He brings them home so he and Christina can rape and kill them. The
newspapers label them the "Hitchhiker Killers" and the
police are clueless. Everything goes fine until Christina falls in
love with a patient; an artist who is having an affair with the
married (and insatiable) Countess Marina (Marina Delestra), a
frequent visitor to the clinic who has worn out seven husbands with
her sexual appetites. Christina begs the Professor to stop the
killings, but he enjoys it too much. In the end, the Countess
Marina's husband (Chris Regan) shoots the Countess because she caught
him stealing her jewels and Christina runs a sword through the
Professor to stop his killings and so she can be with her artist
love. This unrated soft core Stockholm-made production boasts plenty
of nudity and simulated sex but is highly repetitious. A scene of a
couple in the clinic is always followed by a scene of the Professor
cruising for hitchhikers. No reason is given for the Professor's love
of strangling his victims. The violence is implied rather than shown.
The only good thing I have to say about this dubbed film is at least
the women don't have hairy armpits. It may be fashionable in Europe,
but this American boy finds it a complete turn-off. Director Andrew
Whyte (real name: Andrei Feher) also made other sex films in Sweden,
including SWEDISH LOVE STORY (1977), CRAZY SWEDISH HOLIDAYS
IN PARIS (1980), WORLD SEX FESTIVAL
(a.k.a. THE PORNO RACE - 1985) and DREAMS
OF LOVE (1985). ECSTASY INC. (a.k.a. SWEDISH SEX CLINIC)
is a soft core sex film better left behind. A Private
Screenings Video Release. Not Rated.
THE
ELECTRIC CHAIR (1975) - Who
killed the Reverend Samuel Moss (Barry Bell) and girlfriend
Marilyn Howard (Katherine Cortez)? When a necking couple find their
bodies lying in a field shot to death with Marilyn's throat also cut
and tongue ripped out, the film flashes back to the beginning of the
mess. Marilyn lives in a filthy house with Jess (Kenneth G. Sigmon),
her fat slob of a husband who sits on the couch all day drinking beer
and watching TV. The Reverend Moss has Clair (Nita Patterson), his
shrew of a wife who refuses to make love to him, saying it's filthy
and disgusting. When the Reverend and Marilyn meet at church, they
fall in love and start an affair. Cut to the present again, as the
police interrogate the suspects: Clair ("That filthy bitch"
is all she has to say about Marilyn); Mose Cooper, a religious
fanatic ("Sins should not go unpunished"); Jess ("The
Reverend was a fine man") and; Billy (William F. Hipp), Clair's
crazy brother. With no leads, District Attorney Grover (Don Cummins)
is squeezed by the Governor to get a conviction and get it quick.
Since Mose Cooper has the weakest alibi, he is tried for the crimes.
His religious outbursts in court easily convict him for the crimes
and he is sentenced to death by electric chair. Mose is strapped down
and prepped on the Old Sparky (lovingly detailed) and just as the
switch is about to be thrown, the phone rings. It's the Governor and
he has given Mose a reprieve, It seems Mose was having an affair with
a divorced woman and he was with her at the time of the killings. She
had come forward to save Mose, feeling he would rather die than tell
the truth, fearing being called a hypocrite with his religious
convictions and all. Next up on trial: Clair and Crazy Billy. D.A.
Grover makes the case that Clair overheard her husband talking to
Marilyn over the phone setting up a clandestine meeting. She then
talked Billy into coming with her to help in killing them. Billy
answers all the D.A.'s questions on the stand like a retard until
Grover asks him, "Did your mother have any children that
lived?" Defense Attorney Klein (Martin McDonald) completely
discredits all of the prosecution's witnesses and it looks as if
Clair and Billy will get off. That is, until Billy freaks out in the
courtroom, grabs a gun, shouts out to Clair,"I'm not going to
fry for your jealousy" and kills four people, including his
attorney, before he is shot and killed. Clair is convicted for the
crimes and is sentenced to the electric chair, where we see her fry
after telling everyone watching to "Go to Hell!" This weird
and wonderful
little-seen
film comes from the fertile imagination of J.G. "Pat"
Patterson, who directed, produced, wrote and starred (as Mose
Cooper). Patterson was also directed the cultish THE
BODY SHOP
(1973; a.k.a. DOCTOR GORE),
produced AXE (1974) and was
involved in countless other cheapies until his death from cancer in
1975. Since THE ELECTRIC CHAIR
(also known as HIGH VOLTAGE)
carries a copyright date of 1975 (but was actually made in 1972), it
seems Mr. Patterson probably never saw it released to the general
public. Unlike his other ultra-low-budget romps, this one has a
pretty involving story, offering the viewer a surprise or two along
the way. It still has a lot of Patterson's trademarks: Flubbed lines
(Patterson has a problem saying the word "Judas" and
various characters are often heard correcting themselves in
Patterson's notorious "one-take" style), static camerawork
and non-professional actors. It all seems to work here, giving the
film a distinct regional style (filmed in North and South Carolina)
that probably could not be duplicated with a decent budget and pro
actors. Worth Keeter (WOLFMAN
- 1979; DOGS OF HELL -
1982) shared special make-up effects credit along with Patterson.
The electric chair effects are nothing more than lighting a sparkler
on the person's head! All-in-all, this is an enjoyable way to spend
86 minutes if you are in the right frame of mind. Something
Weird Video offers this film as a hidden extra on their AXE
DVD. Grab it for a night's-worth of surreal entertainment. Now
available on Blu-Ray
from Code Red in a
"Director's Cut", where it is said to be much more complete
than the Something Weird version. Rated R.
EMANUELLE
IN PRISON (1983) - This is
not your usual women in prison (WIP) flick, thanks to director Bruno
Mattei (HELL OF THE
LIVING DEAD - 1980; RATS:
NIGHT OF TERROR - 1983; here using the pseudonym "Gilbert
Roussel") and frequent collaborator, screenwriter Claudio
Fragasso (director of MONSTER
DOG - 1985 and TROLL 2
- 1990; here using the pseudonym "Olivier Lefait"). This is
actually a semi-sequel to Mattei & Fragasso's CAGED
WOMEN (a.k.a. EMANUELLE
REPORTS FROM A WOMEN'S PRISON; VIOLENCE
IN A WOMEN'S PRISON - 1982) and features many of the same
actors, personnel and locations as this film. It is so far "out
there", it's mesmerizing, causing audiences to gasp at some of
the scenes.
The film begins with a performance art piece, where female inmates
Laura (Maria Romano; THE
FINAL EXECUTIONER - 1983), Irene (Antonella Giacomini) and
Emanuelle (Laura Gemser; TRAP
THEM AND KILL THEM; a.k.a. EMANUELLE
AND THE LAST CANNIBALS - 1977) discuss their innermost
thoughts about life in prison. Coleen (Lorraine De Selle; HOUSE
ON THE EDGE OF THE PARK - 1979), the warden of the
correctional facility, sanctioned this piece of performance art to
teach new inmates what it means to be a prisoner, but butch lesbian
(what else?) inmate Albina (Ursula Flores) thinks this is all a
little too much and throws a tomato at Emanuelle, hitting her in the
face (if Albina threw some spaghetti, Emanuelle would have had a meal!).
Cruel prison guard Molly (Françoise Perrot) favors
Albina and punishes inmates for siding against her. Molly and
another guard (Franca Stoppi; BEYOND
THE DARKNESS - 1979) make Emanuelle stick her head in a sink
full of water and hold it there until she passes out. They don't
actually hold her head in the water, but make Emanuelle do it to
herself, just to prove the power guards have over the inmates. After
her ordeal, Emanuelle gets in a fight with Albina (who punches
Emanuelle in the face), where Emanuelle discovers Albina is wearing a
wig (she is going bald!). Emanuelle laughs in Albina's face and then
Molly has the two face-off, Albina with a knife and Emanuelle with
her bare hands, which ends up with Albina with a knife sticking out
of her leg.
We then find out Emanuelle is a reporter. She was doing a story on
drug trafficking when crooked District Attorney Vincent Robinson
(Jacques Stany; FOUR
FLIES ON GREY VELVET - 1971) had her arrested on a trumped-up
charge of drug possession and had her thrown into this prison for
five years. Emanuelle vows vengeance and won't rest until the D.A.
gets what's coming to him. We then watch as four Death Row criminals,
Crazy Boy Henderson (Gabriele Tinti; THE
EERIE MIDNIGHT HORROR SHOW - 1974), Victor
"Geronimo" Brian (Raul Cabrera; APACHE
WOMAN - 1976), Helmut "Blade" von Bauer
(Pierangelo Pozzato; THE VIOLENT BREED
- 1984) and Brett O'Hara (Robert Mura; What, no nickname?) are being
escorted to prison by Sergeant Harrison (Carlo De Mejo; THE
OTHER HELL - 1980). Criminals dressed as policemen run their
van off the road and kill two real policemen in the process. The four
criminals try to escape, but Sergeant Harrison gets the upper hand,
telling Crazy Boy, "You'll have no peace until you smell the
stink of you own flesh roasting on the electric Chair!" and then
personally drives them to prison, the same prison Emanuelle is in
(There's no prison like a coed prison!).
These four criminals are multiple rapists and murderers, who are
temporarily housed in this prison until their death sentences can be
carried out. They are being put in a wing of the prison where they
keep the most dangerous criminals but, as they are having their
handcuffs removed, Crazy Boy and Blade take the Warden and a female
guard hostage and threaten to kill them unless Harrison turns over
his shotgun. To prove they mean business, Blade, who has a razor
blade hidden in his mouth, graphically slits the female guard's neck,
killing her. Harrison hands his shotgun over to Crazy Boy, who blasts
Harrison in the shoulder. The four murderous rapists take Harrison,
the Warden and the female prisoners hostage, demanding a getaway car,
lots of money and a helicopter from D.A. Robinson, who is handling
the negotiations. If he doesn't meet their demands in three hours,
Harrison, the Warden and the female inmates will be killed.
Three hours is a long time, so the rapists have some "fun"
with the women. Blade makes the Warden strip in front of him and
Geronimo looks for some morphine in the prison infirmary, where
Albina is recuperating from her knife wound. Geronimo and Albina make
a connection and screw on a bed in the infirmary, while Brett is
being felt-up by some horny female inmates, many of them haven't felt
a man in years. Crazy Boy tortures Harrison by sticking his fingers
in his shoulder wound and when Emanuelle protests (she is nursing
Harrison), Crazy Boy rapes her. Blade enters Laura and Irene's cell,
dances with them and slits the throat of Irene's blow-up doll. Irene
complains, so Blade slices her face. Blade loses his razor
blade and Laura finds it. She will need it laterto get revenge on
blade for cutting Irene's face (they are lovers).
Albina sees some SWAT team members enter the infirmary window and
runs to Crazy Boy to make a deal. She warns them about what is
approaching and when the SWAT team kills some female prisoners (they
don't care who they kill, even though they are recording their attack
on video!) Crazy Boy and his mates kill them, turning the video
camera on themselves, telling the D.A. that he will pay for his
deception. They make Emanuelle and Albina play a game of Russian
roulette (What about Albina's deal?), while Laura strips naked and
tempts Blade to come to her cell. They make love, but when Helmut
goes to screw her, he discovers that Laura shoved his razord blade up
her snatch (!) and he loses his penis! A dickless Blade strangles
Laura with his bare hands and tries to stumble back to his mates, but
the horny female prisoners grab him through the bars, where he dies.
Meanwhile, Albina blows her brains out in the game of Russian
roulette, pieces of her brain landing in Crazy Boy's mouth. Crazy Boy
and Geronimo leave the prison (What happened to Brett???), taking
Harrison, the Warden and Emanuelle as hostages. Emanuelle catches
sight of D.A. Robinson and it triggers a flashback that shows us how
the D.A. illegally sent Emanuelle to prison. When the D.A. spots
Emanuelle, he grabs a cop's rifle and shoots Geronimo and the Warden,
killing them (Why didn't he shoot Emanuelle???). Crazy Boy kills the
D.A. with the shotgun, grabs the money and getaway car, still taking
Harrison and Emanuelle hostage. The car stalls a short distance from
the prison (there
was only enough gas in the car to travel a very short distance) and
the cop driving the getaway car shoots Crazy Boy in the stomach (Why
didn't he shoot him in the head???), who return fire with the
shotgun, blowing away the cop and the driver side door! Harrison
subdues a mortally wounded Crazy Boy and he promises Emanuelle that
he will get her out of prison because he knows she is innocent. THE END.
This crazy and illogical film turns the W.I.P genre on its head.
While there are the prerequisite naked shower scenes and lesbian
action in the beginning of the film, it quickly switches from the
typical genre cliches, turning into a hostage drama and then a
revenge flick. The film makes no sense at all, especially Albina
making a deal with Crazy Boy and then she puts a bullet in her own
brainpan, or the D.A not shooting Emanuelle when he had the chance,
but it's not about making sense. It's about stuffing as much rape,
debouchery and blood as can possibly fit into a 90-minute film. This
contains all the crazy shit we counted on from the late Bruno Mattei,
mainly full-frontal nudity, sleaze and gore. You get that and so much
more, including ineptly-filmed car chases, explosions and bloody
bullet squibs. But, Claudio Fragasso claimed (in the book "Spaghetti
Nightmares") that he actually directed the majority of the
film while Mattei was directing another film (THE
SEVEN MAGNIFICENT GLADIATORS - 1983, still not available on
disc in the U.S.), which was backed-up by Laura Gemser in many
interviews (Mattei and Fragasso, who were good friends, frequently
switched roles in their careers). Laura Gemser, who appeared as Emanuelle
in 13 films, has precious little to do here except taking off
her clothes and getting into a couple of flesh-baring fights. I'm
fine with that and you should be, too.
Released theatrically in the United States by Strawberry
Productions, a subsidiary of Motion Picture Marketing (MPM), in a
heavily-edited R-Rated cut titled WOMENS
PRISON MASSACRE. It was later released on VHS by Vestron
Video under that title, using the same R-rated cut. It was then
released under that title on DVD early in the New Millennium, uncut
and in anamorphic widescreen, by Shock-O-Rama Cinema (long OOP) and
on Blu-Ray from Scream Factory.
My review is based on the uncut, widescreen British DVD, from Vipco,
under the review title. Shot under the title BLADE
VIOLENT - I VIOLENTE ("Blade Violent - The
Violent"), this film is also known as EMANUELLE
ESCAPES FROM HELL and A BUNCH OF BASTARDS. This may
not be the best W.I.P. film (my favorite is Mattei's THE
JAIL:THE WOMEN'S HELL - 2006), but it is weird and crazy
enough to merit repeat viewings. Most exploitation films should at
least try to reach such a lofty goal. Also starring Michael Laurant,
Flo Astair, Omero Capanna and Giuseppe Marrocco. Legendary voice
actor Ted Rusoff supplied the dubbed voice of Crazy Boy. Not Rated.
FAST
MONEY (1981) - Regional
slice-of-life drug exploitationer, filmed in and around Austin,
Texas, about drug smuggling across the Texas/Mexico border. J.D.
(Sonny Carl Davis; WACKO
- 1982) and Jessie (Marshall Ford) have a lucrative business
delivering bales of marijuana and bricks of cocaine in their small
plane. They also deal the drugs in the rural Texas town they live in
and are also not above using the drugs themselves from time to time
(never a good thing). They start spreading the super-strong pot
around to their sub-dealers, including the extra-careful (some would
say paranoid) Jimmy (Jimmy Seay), the laid-back Ernie (D. Dryden
Arnsberger) and good-old-boy Buddy (Lou Perryman, a.k.a. "Lou
Perry"; THE TEXAS
CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2 - 1986), and soon they gain attention of
some "Yankee" people up north, who show interest in
distributing J.D.'s & Jessie's product on the East Coast. Jessie
wants to retire from the drug running/selling business after this
season ends, thanks to advice from retired smuggler Luther (John
Martin), who tells Jessie to stop snorting cocaine, quit pushing his
luck and "just do it" (He sounds like a Nike
commercial). Their luck starts to turn bad when J.D. and Buddy make a
big delivery to two East Coast yankees in a hotel room, but the
northern clients make them drop the price drastically before they
will buy it (they slice open five sacks of pot and will only buy two
sacks unless they drop the price, leaving J.D. to explain to Jessie
why three sacks of pot are cut open, so J.D. has no choice but to
drop the price $1,000 a pound!). J.D.'s girlfriend, Nancy (Linda
Wetherby), wants him to get a real job and quit the drug business.
When she catches him dealing, she throws a bowl of mashed potatoes at
him (J.D. tells a bartender, "I left the house when she started
throwing canned goods!"). Jessie's cocaine use gets out of hand
and he starts making terrible business decisions. He plans on making
a drug run across the border that is twice the size of his previous
trips. It involves two plane trips, which results in J.D. getting
arrested by the D.E.A. at one makeshift airstrip and Bobby being
followed carrying a truckload of dope by D.E.A. agent Burton (Tim
Miller). Buddy loses Burton's tail and Jessie gets away thanks to
expert pilot Dusty (Sammy Allred), but J.D. is booked and eventually
makes bail. Burton, who is undercover, buys fifty pounds of marijuana
from Ernie and then sets up a sting to nab Jessie and J.D. with their
hands in the cookie jar. When Buddy has a truckload of pot stolen
from him (and his friend murdered in the process) and J.D. is nearly
nabbed in the drug sting, Jessie and J.D. decide to move to Mexico,
but will they able to make it to their plane before Burton arrests
them? Of course they do and they live happily ever after. I think I'm
gonna be ill. There's not much point to this film, directed and
written by Douglas Holloway (Whose only other screen credit was as
Associate Producer on director Eagle Pennell's debut film, THE
WHOLE SHOOTIN' MATCH [1978], which stars many of the same
actors that appear here. Pennell, who was this film's Director of
Photography, would go on to much acclaim directing the terrific
independent drama LAST
NIGHT AT THE ALAMO [1983], starring Lou Perryman [who was
murdered on April 1, 2009] and Sonny Carl Davis, both stars of this
film), except to show a series of vignettes of Jessie, J.D. and their
friends enjoying abusing cocaine, marijuana and booze and going about
their daily business of dealing drugs. The film goes out of its way
glorifying these people and their way of life, as they count their
money, snort their lines of coke and go to discos to celebrate.
Nowhere in this film do we see the damage their drugs do to society
(Hey, I'm no prude. I've smoked my good share of pot and nearly
destroyed my life on cocaine in the mid-80's, but I turned my life
around. How many people didn't?). We're supposed to have feelings for
these people, but it is a very hard sell, especially to anyone who
has lost a loved one to drugs or has to deal with a junkie friend or
family member. This film is not badly acted (Lou Perry really stands
out), but the storyline, where the police are portrayed as a bunch of
buffoons and the drug dealers as heroes (a product of the
70's/early-80's counterculture, but this is no SUPERFLY
(1972) blaxploitation flick or Cheech & Chong comedy), just
doesn't ring true, at least in my eyes. If a film like this were made
today, it would be akin to portraying crack dealers as fine
upstanding citizens. It just doesn't wash. This film would make a
good double bill with 1977's IN
HOT PURSUIT (a.k.a. POLK
COUNTY POT PLANE), another big "fuck you law
enforcement" flick that glorifies drug dealers. Music by Asleep
At The Wheel. Also starring Doris Hargrave, Eric Henshaw and Rick
Peeples. Originally available on VHS from U.S.A.
Home Video as part of their "Sybil Danning's Adventure
Video" sub-label. Not available on DVD. Rated R.
FLAVIA
THE HERETIC (1974) - I have
never been a fan of the Italian "nunsploitation" genre, as
I find the antics of sex-crazed nuns unappealing to me (no matter how
beautiful they are), but this film, which is one of the first films
to give birth to the genre, is more like "Joan Of Arc" than
a straight-up exploitation film, and, even though it has its share of
exploitative moments, it plays more like a historical drama than it
does a nunsploitation film. It could be because it was
directed/produced/co-written by Gianfranco Mingozzi, who was better
known for his many documentaries than for any other type of genre.
Maybe that's why this film seems more like a chronicle of one
person's life, told through her eyes, as she witnesses the worst that
religion and politics (that go hand-in-hand in this film) than a
sex-laden portrayal of a convent, which most nunsploitation flicks
portray. Don't get me wrong; there is plenty of nudity and violence
in this film, but the nudity is not there to titillate audiences and
the violence is shown to relay to us just how bad it was in 1400's
Europe, especially for women. FLAVIA
THE HERETIC (shown in U.S. theaters in a severely edited
form as FLAVIA
PRIESTESS OF VIOLENCE, which is a totally misleading title,
but that was the way advertising ran back then to put asses in the
seats) opens in 1400 A.D., with the title female (Florinda Bolkan; LAST
HOUSE ON THE BEACH - 1978) looking upon a field of dead
enemy Muslims after a major battle. When she tries to give aid to a
wounded Muslim soldier, her father (Diego Michelotti), a general who
fought for the other side, decapitates the Muslim soldier and parades
around with his head on a pike for all his soldiers to see. To teach
Flavia a lesson for showing such insolence, he sends her to a convent
in Portugal, where she has her hair sheared off like a sheep would
(All the convent women's hair is used as hair for the statues of
Christ as he is crucified on the cross, which the nuns manufacture.
Women's hair on a holy man's statue. Does anyone see the irony in
this?) and made to lie on a cold stone floor face-down for long
periods of time, with her arms out to the side so that she looks like
a crucifix. Flavia remains a rebel, for every time she looks at a
religious fresco of a saint on one of the convent's wall, she see the
image of a Muslim soldier coming to life to lead a battle. The
convent gets a visit from the members of the Tarantula Cult, who act
crazy (one of the head nuns says they act that way because they were
bitten by tarantulas!), sexually writhing and dancing around the
convent's religious statues and artifacts, a practice Flavia finds
both strange and fascinating (consider them the 1400's version of the
Charles Manson Family). Most of the nuns are repulsed watching these
female cult members rubbing their naughty bits with their hands and
religious objects, while a few other nuns are converted and join in
the sexual shenanigans, baring their breasts and begging for the
tarantulas to bite them, too. Flavia watches Sister Livia (Raika
Juri), who is her friend, get into some lesbian activity with one of
the cult members, but this turns out to be a trap by convent's Mother
Superior (Jill Pratt; WATCH
ME WHEN I KILL - 1977), who lets these loons enter the
convent once a year to weed out the bad apprentice nuns, and then
tortures the ones who don't follow the Scripture, by stringing them
up with rope, making them sit in the hollowed-out carcass of an cow
or by tying their hands behind their backs and twisting the rope
tighter by using a wooden crucifix, while Mother Superior says,
"You must pay for your sins!". Of course, Flavia is
horrified to see such tactics used. Flavia's only friend outside the
convent is Jewish peasant Abraham (Claudio Cassenelli; THE
GREAT ALLIGATOR - 1979), who has discussions with Flavia
about the first woman on Earth, which wasn't Eve, but
"Lillith", who Abraham says was "made from the refuge
of the Devil." Flavia questions why women have to be subservient
to men and asks Abraham what would happen if a woman took the lead in
a male-dominated society. Abraham really doesn't have an answer but
it gets him thinking. While Flavia is walking back to the convent,
she watches as some nuns castrate a horse (nothing is left to the
imagination) and is appalled at what she just witnessed (There is so
much symbolism in this film, the Blu-Ray should come with a booklet
explaining them all!). When the Bishop and his guards pay a visit to
the convent, Sister Livia is handed over to him, where he will have
his Inquisition-like religious zealot guards torture her to death.
Flavia then witnesses a French Duke (Spiros Focas) rape a defenseless
peasant girl in a pig sty (Like I said, we need a symbolism guide)
and when the Duke catches Flavia watching him doing the dirty deed
(in more ways than one!), he threatens to rape her, too, telling her
who would the Church believe, an influential French Duke or a nun?
(In that era, the Duke would win every time). Flavia storms back to
the convent and defiantly pulls the loincloth off the statue of Jesus
and asks him, "Why... why? Why is God male? The Father the Son
and the Holy Ghost - all male. Even the twelve apostles. All twelve
of them - males." We are about to witness Flavia become the
first true Feminist, but with a violent twist. Flavia watches at the
top of the torture chamber (it has a large windowless hole in the top
of the roof) as the Bishop and his guards torture Sister Livia by
pouring boiling hot oil on her breasts and torso while she screams
for mercy. When Flavia's father catches her watching the torture
session, he tells his "cursed" daughter to return to the
convent, but Flavia replies he is the cursed one because he and all
the other men treat women worse than dogs. She tells her father that
what they see happening below them would never happen to the French
Duke for raping an innocent woman, so Daddy slaps Flavia hard across
her face. They both watch as one of the torturers grabs one of Sister
Livia's nipples with iron tongs and then slices it off with a dagger
(The film's most graphic and wincing scene). This proves to be the
proverbial straw that breaks Flavia's back. She is about to strike a
blow for all womankind and it's going to be bloody. She asks Abraham
to go far away with her because she has escaped the convent, like
"Lilith escaped Adam." They end up at a beach on the ocean,
where they barely escape the Bishop's search party (Abraham was under
house arrest for committing heresy). They are eventually caught,
though (just as virgin Flavia was going to give herself to Abraham),
and Flavia is stripped, tied to a post and whipped repeatedly while
her father watches (she spits in his direction as a sign of
defiance). Abraham is thrown in a dungeon and not even tortured (he
is a man after all). Flavia is brought back to the convent, where she
has visions of picking up a sword, joining the Muslim army and
fighting their oppressors. The once-cruel Mother Superior actually
admires Flavia now, as she shares her feelings with her. She also
thinks that it is a male-dominated world and the time has come for
women to stand their ground. Flavia gets an even more heightened
sense of empowerment from Mother Superior's words. She makes Flavia
feel that the female of the species is the stronger of the sexes and
when a Muslim army arrives by ship to attack the Church's army,
Flavia joins "The Other World" and fights side-by-side with
the handsome Ahmed (Anthony Corlan; VAMPIRE
CIRCUS - 1972), the man in her visions, to destroy the
Church and all it stands for, especially after she sees her father
impale Mother Superior with a spear. Flavia's father is captured and
as soon as Flavia and Ahmed lock eyes, they know they were meant for
each other and he takes Flavia's virginity. After a lengthy battle in
the village (where we see a friar impaled on a pike through his ass
and out his neck), Flavia, Ahmed and the Muslim army head to the
convent, where the nuns cower behind the bolted door. The army
batters it down and Flavia heads into the convent on horseback,
throwing a mace that sticks in the face of the fresco of their patron
saint. Flavia points out the cruel nuns to the army and they kidnap
them. Flavia now has the role of Bishop, as she holds a funeral for
Mother Superior, while making her captive father watch. Flavia has
the innocent girl earlier in the film try to rape the French Duke,
but when it is apparent that the Duke is enjoying himself, he is bent
over a barrel, butt-fucked by some guards and then castrated, like
Flavia saw the horse castrated earlier in
the film (The Duke is now a Duchess!). Flavia has another vision,
where the fresco of the saint comes alive and pulls the mace off his
face. Mother Superior rises from the dead as the blood of the saint
flows onto a naked Ahmed's back. Jesus is no longer crucified on the
cross. In his place are totally naked females, as are all the nuns,
and the door of the convent opens with a blinding light behind it
(There is too much symbolism in this scene to even describe in a
review). Flavia wakes up with her hands covered in candle wax
(showing she has had that vision for a loooong time) and discovers
all the nuns are dead (some are hanged, some have their throats slit
and others are impaled with spears). Flavia dons a suit of armor and
joins the fight, where she discovers the Church has sent
reinforcements to the village and Flavia's father is free. Flavia
chases her father on horseback and watches as Ahmed's army pushes her
father off the hole in the roof of the torture chamber, killing him.
When Flavia discovers Abraham is still alive, she goes running to
him, but a jealous Ahmed cuts off Abraham's head with a scimitar.
Flavia discovers "The Other World" is no different than
when she was living as a nun at the convent. She watches Ahmed and
what is left of his army sail back to his homeland and Flavia is
taken prisoner by the Church for treason. Her punishment is a
particularly cruel and painful one: She has the skin just above both
her ankles cut all around and is flayed alive by pulling her skin off
her body from the ankles-up. She screams while an on-screen scrawl
states that the idea behind this film came from the true story known
as "The Martyrdom Of The 800 At Otranto" (Google it if you
want to learn more). While scenes in this film are
exploitative, this really isn't an exploitation film. It is more of a
historical document on the way women across the world were treated as
less than human for centuries (Hell, women didn't get the right to
vote in the United States until the 1920's!). Like I said in the
beginning of this film, director Gianfranco Mingozzi made precious
few fictional films, rather making documentaries right up until he
passed away in 2009. That is why this film could play as a biography
of a real person (it isn't though) because everything we see is
through Flavia's eyes. But Italians being Italians, they certainly
knew how to bastardize what was obviously a serious film and made
many "nunsploitation" films (like Bruno Mattei's THE
OTHER HELL [1980] and too many more to begin listing) that
play the sex and violence angle purely for entertainment. I actually
hate the genre (just like I despise "Naziploitation"
films), which is why you see precious few of them reviewed on this
web site. Released years ago in uncut widescreen form on DVD
by Synapse Films (I'm not sure whether this ever had an official VHS
release in the States), the Blu-Ray,
from Scorpion Releasing,
was taken from a brand new master print of the uncut version and it
is flawless. If you want to see one of the first films to inspire the
nunsploitation genre, but not wallow in exploitation and actually
treat the subject matter seriously, then by all mean, FLAVIA
THE HERETIC comes highly recommended. But if all you want to
see is nuns having sex with each other, with priests and other men
and then get slaughtered for entertainment value, look somewhere
else. This is not that kind of film. Also starring Maria Casares,
Franca Grey, Laura DeMarchi, Ciro Ippolito (future director of ALIENS
2: ON EARTH - 1980), Carla Mancini and Giuseppe Pertile as
the Bishop. A Scorpion Releasing Blu-Ray Release. Not Rated.
FLY
ME (1973) - Classic 70's
sexploitation from Filipino director/producer Cirio H. Santiago (T.N.T.
JACKSON - 1975; THE MUTHERS
- 1976) about the romantic and dramatic exploits of three airline
stewardesses: Toby (Pat Anderson), Andrea (Lenore Kasdorf) and newbie
Sherry (Lyllah Torena). This is Sherry's first day on the job and she
nearly misses her flight, but she manages to hail a cab in her bikini
and changes her clothes in the back seat, causing the cabbie (played
by genre vet Dick Miller) to nearly crash the taxi (he also refuses
to charge her for the ride once they get to the airport!). On their
flight to Hong Kong, Toby hooks-up with a good-looking doctor named
Dave (Richard Young) and then finds out that her highly protective
mother (Naomi Stevens), who is out to protect Toby's virginity, is
also a passenger. When they land in Hong Kong, Andrea discovers that
her boyfriend Donald (Ken Metcalfe) has disappeared. The apartment
they shared three weeks earlier is now occupied by another couple and
when she goes to see him at his place of business, his secretary
tells Andrea that she hasn't heard from him in weeks, but that's not
unusual for him. Andrea is followed and then attacked by a Chinese
man dressed in black, but she beats him up with some awkward kung-fu
moves. Dave and Toby try to have a good time in Hong Kong while
trying to avoid Toby's meddlesome and disapproving mother (a job
easier said than done), Sherry is kidnapped by Hong Kong drug dealers
and Andrea makes a new friend in importer Rick Shaw (Leo Martinez).
When Sherry doesn't show up for her flight to Tokyo the next morning,
Toby and Andrea incredibly leave without her. Once in Tokyo (and
after making love to Rick Shaw), Andrea goes to a Japanese garden to
meet Donald, only to be attacked by two martial artists, which she
beats up with the help of a blind man with a dart-firing cane! We
then learn why Sherry was kidnapped. It seems she is a drug mule
along with boyfriend Bill (Cole Mallard), but this time she only
delivered half of her shipment and her bosses want the other half.
Meanwhile, Dave and Toby are still trying to get some alone time, but
Mama doesn't want her daughter popping her cherry with Dave (Yeah,
Toby really is a virgin!). All the stories come together when Rick
Shaw (Get it? Rickshaw?) confesses to Andrea that he's a British
agent trying to bring down Donald, who is actually the head of a drug
and white slavery cartel that Sherry was working for. Andrea agrees
to work with Rick Shaw to bring down Donald and rescue Sherry. Toby's
interfering mother accidentally gets herself and Toby mixed-up in a
white slavery auction, where Dave rescues Toby and her mother and
Andrea and Rick Shaw bring down Donald and save Sherry.
Although too much stuff goes on in such a short running time (72
minutes), director Cirio H. Santiago makes the most of Miller Drake's (INVASION
EARTH: THE ALIENS ARE HERE - 1988) jumbled screenplay,
tossing in plentiful topless female nudity, a dollop of martial arts
(kung fu sequences directed by David Chow), a couple of bloody
shootouts, some comedy and, of course, plenty of softcore sex scenes.
This is just a breezy, quick-moving little exploitationer that
delivers what it promises: naked women, action and a multi-tiered
story that ties-up nicely in the finale. They just don't make 'em
like this anymore and after directing COVER
GIRL MODELS (1974), Santiago went on to make more action-oriented
flicks that favored gunfights and violence over the sexploitation
elements. Joe Dante gets an early screen credit here as Dialogue
Director, as does Jonathan Demme, who is credited with the confusing
credit "Film Direction" (actually Second Unit Director).
Vic Diaz puts in a cameo as crooked police inspector Enriquez. Also
starring Richard Roarke, Pat Munzon, Jack Davison, Carmen Barredo,
Roger Lee, Buzz Albert, Daniel Faure and Ken Warren. Released
theatrically by Roger Corman's New World Pictures and never given a
legitimate home video release in the U.S. (the version I viewed came
from a British VHS tape). Not available on DVD, although Shout!
Factory did announce this as a future DVD title until they found
out that the film elements they were given were in bad shape. Who
knows, maybe they will release it with a warning about the print's
condition. I know I would still buy it. Rated R.
FRANKENSTEIN
ISLAND (1981) - Holy crap
on a corncob pipe, this is one terrible film! So terrible, in fact,
that it could probably cure cancer. Four people and a dog crash land
on a remote island after their hot air balloon is destroyed by a
hurricane (it all happens off-screen). After a cursory search of the
island, they run into a tribe of bikini clad amazons who take them
back to their camp , where they wash them (!), feed them and put on a
show where they gyrate like strippers looking for a dollar bill. The
next day the girls take the men on a
little hike when one of the girls is abducted by one of the pirates
that has lived on the island for years. The pirates take the men to
the "Valley of the Sun" where they meet Jayson (Cameron
Mitchell), a captain of a wrecked ship who has been held prisoner on
the island for 17 years. By now he is quite mad, babbling on about
"red corpuscles" and Edgar Alan Poe while one of the
pirates sedates him by sticking a large hypo needle in the top of his
head. The men are then taken to a mansion where they meet Sheila
Frankenstein (Katherine Victor) and she tells the men she wants them
to impregnate the amazons so the island can have some new blood. She
then takes them to her husband's laboratory, where they see brains
under glass, a force of mindless robots (who wear cheap sunglasses
and wool ski caps), learn that the island was once visited by aliens
and meet Sheila's bedridden husband, Dr. Van Helsing (George
Mitchell). There's also genetically produced giant vegetables, robot
boxing, kung fu fighting, somebody with a plastic devil's pitchfork
who performs a supernatural ritual and, every once in a while, the
superimposed image of Dr. Frankenstein (John Carradine) pops-up on
screen to shout, "The power! The power!" What does this all
mean? I haven't got a fucking clue. All I know is that it's howlingly
bad. Did I forget to mention that Frankenstein's Monster appears at
the end for no other reason than to give this film a reason to end?
The final battle in the laboratory looks like it was choreographed by
Stevie Wonder. Being directed by 50's and 60's cheapsploitation
expert Jerry Warren (MAN BEAST
- 1955; THE WILD WORLD
OF BATWOMAN - 1966), it comes as no surprise that this film
has the look and feel of an early 60's production as there is no
blood, nudity or foul language, just a music soundtrack that consists
of library cues, tons of cheap cardboard sets and dime store props
(check out those Don Post skulls!). Warren also populates the film
with 50's and 60's B-actors. Besides the already-mentioned Mitchell,
Carradine and Victor, we also have Robert Clarke (HIDEOUS
SUN DEMON - 1959), Steve Brodie (DONOVAN'S
BRAIN - 1953) and Andrew Duggan (IT'S
ALIVE
- 1973). The screenplay (by Jaques Lacouter) makes absolutely no
sense and seems to throw in all the old-time horror and sci-fi
conventions (mad scientists, aliens, illicit experimants, ray guns,
voodoo rituals, monster on the loose, etc.) in hopes of keeping you
entertained. It's as if Jerry Warren wanted to make one more film
(this was his last, he died in 1988) to remind us of the good old
days of cheap exploitation films. Unfortunately, FRANKENSTEIN
ISLAND contains all of the bad elements and none of the
good. This is too boring to even have novelty value. What a waste.
There's an extra on the DVD where Katherine Victor reminisces about
the making of the film. It runs about three minutes. I guess there
wasn't a lot to reminisce about. Also starring Robert Christopher,
Tain Bodkin, Patrick O'Neil and Melvin the wonder dog. A Retromedia
Entertainment DVD Release. Rated PG.
GATOR
BAIT II: CAJUN JUSTICE (1988) -
The original GATOR BAIT
(1974) was an exploitation classic, thanks to the beautiful Claudia
Jennings' gutsy performance as a woman out for revenge against a
bunch of backwoods scumbags. Since Ms. Jennings unfortunately died in
an auto accident in 1979 (it was a big loss for the exploitation
community and filmmaking in general), returning directors/producers/screenwriters
Ferd & Beverly Sebastian (THE HITCH-HIKERS
- 1972; BLOODY FRIDAY - 1973; FLASH
AND THE FIRECAT - 1976; ROCKTOBER
BLOOD - 1984) hoped that lightning would strike twice by
making this belated sequel, but the results are less than
satisfactory. The film opens with Angelique (Jan MacKenzie), a big
city woman who moves to Cajun country to marry her sweetheart Big T.
(Tray Loren). The wedding is crashed by Leroy (Paul Muzzcat) and four
of his backwoods hick friends (They all make normal hillbillies look
like proper gentlemen, especially when one of them complains,
"We'll scare up some new city pussy. The pussy around here
smells like catfish!"). Leroy and his
friends paw at the women, eat the wedding cake and make general
nuisances of themselves until Big T. and his groomsmen show Leroy and
his posse a little Cajun hospitality (in other words, they beat the
snot out of them). Angelique and Big T. escape in their powerboat for
their "honeymoon", but Cajun tradition dictates that his
friends try to stop them from having sex that night (a tradition that
was also practiced in NIGHTMARE
HONEYMOON - 1973), so they chase the happy couple down the
river, but Big T.'s boat is too fast and his friends are too drunk.
There's also bad blood between Big T. and Leroy, because ten years
earlier, Leroy raped and killed Big T.'s sister, so Big T. shot him
and left him to die in the swamp, but "the swamp didn't want
him" and Leroy survived. Big T. teaches city girl Angelique how
to handle snakes (he has a bunch of rattlesnakes as pets), how to use
a shotgun, how to call an alligator and how to defend herself in
hand-to-hand combat, all skills she will have to use shortly to save
her life. One day, while Big T. is away attending to his traps in the
bayou, Leroy and his scuzzball friends pay Angelique a visit, first
ogling her from afar as she takes a bath on the deck of their
riverside home (it's really more of a shack) and then humiliate her
for way too long (it's really disappointing how many exploitation
elements are ignored here, as rather than making her take her clothes
off, they sexually abuse her while she is clad in a towel and then
Leroy makes her put on a pair of panties and a bodice!). When Leroy
finally decides it's time to rape her, Big T. shows up and Leroy
shoots him in the back and ties his not-yet-dead body to a tree stump
in the swamp (it's payback for what happened ten years earlier).
Leroy and his dentally-challenged gang kidnap Angelique and bring her
back to their hideout, chain her up and take turns raping her
(offscreen). Angelique escapes, thanks to Luke (Brad Kepnick), a
member of Leroy's gang who thinks that all this is wrong. Angelique
uses every trick Big T. taught her to exact revenge on these bayou
hicks. Don't worry, Big T. shows up in the nick of time to blow Leroy
away before he can stab Angelique in her "city pussy".
GATOR BAIT II: CAJUN JUSTICE is just one missed opportunity
after another. It's as if Ferd & Beverly Sebastian tried to make
a revenge actioner without any of the basic ingredients that fans of
the genre have come to expect. The nudity is kept to a minimum, most
of the violence (including the rapes) is kept offscreen and Leroy
couldn't be any less scary as the main villain. The Sebastians played
their cards way too close to their vests, like they didn't want the
MPAA breathing down their necks with imposed cuts (although Luke's
throat-slitting by Leroy does look to be edited). A clear 40% of the
film is of people steering their boats through the Louisiana bayou
and while that may be beautiful travelogue footage, it goes on for
far too long. Jan MacKenzie and Tray Loren have some nice, easy-going
charisma with each other (much of their dialogue seems improvised and
real), but Paul Muzzcat and his gang couldn't be more stereotypical,
including Geke (Reyn Hubbard), who's a long-haired, trucker
hat-wearing, stuttering retard. This is nothing but a pale imitation
of the original GATOR BAIT and
Jan MacKenzie (who has a nice body) lacks Claudia Jennings' natural
intensity. It's hard to imagine that a city girl like Angelique could
suddenly turn superwoman and beat five guys, who were raised on the
bayou, at their own game. GATOR BAIT II is all build-up and no
pay-off. It's like getting bitten by a snake with no fangs. Also
starring Jerry Armstrong, Ben Sebastian, Rocky Dugas and Keith Gros.
Originally released on VHS and Laserdisc by Paramount Home Video. Not
available on DVD. Rated R.
GIRLS
ARE FOR LOVING (1973) -
Third and final entry in the "Ginger" series of
sexploitation/action films (following GINGER
[1971] and THE ABDUCTORS
[1972]). When three bad guys parachute into the mountains and invade
a ski chalet, they force a couple to strip, tie the naked girl to a
tree (where she is raped and then shot dead with a rifle), kidnap the
guy and blow-up the chalet with dynamite. Super-secret agent/singing
star Ginger McAllister (Cheri Caffaro; SAVAGE
SISTERS - 1974) is hired to go undercover and seduce bigshot
swinger James L. Whitney III (Scott Ellsworth), who the U.S.
government thinks is next on the kidnappers' list. The head of the
kidnappers, Ronnie St. Clair (Jocelyn Peters), "questions"
the first kidnapped man by tying his ankles to a cement block in the
middle of a swimming pool and shooting a pistol at him until he gives
up Whitney's name (he has important information on Asian trade routes
that Ronnie needs for some reason or another) and then puts a bullet
in the middle of his forehead for his trouble. Ginger, who is working
on this case with FBI agent Clay Bowers
(Timothy Brown; SWEET SUGAR - 1972; BONNIE'S
KIDS - 1972), begins to seduce Whitney when he visits an
exclusive ski resort, but when one of Clay's fellow agents is
blown-up while tobogganing (!) down a ski slope, it's apparent that
Ronnie (who is also a guest at the lodge) is beginning to thin out
the good guys before she kidnaps her target. Ginger is able to get in
bed with Whitney rather easily (she sings a couple of songs and does
a fluorescent striptease at the lodge's cocktail lounge [while Ms.
Caffaro has a smoking hot body, her musical talents are far less than
stellar]) and, while they are making love, two of Ronnie's kidnappers
break into their room. Ginger and Whitney are able to overpower them
(in a highly awkward fight sequence), but Ronnie kidnaps an Asian
ambassador that accompanied Whitney on his trip. With Ginger's cover
blown, Whitney spills the beans on the importance of the Asian trade
route info he has in his possession, which leads Ginger, Clay and
Whitney to the island of St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands, where
Ronnie has her base of operations. Whitney is easily kidnapped by
Ronnie's men (Ginger is really not such a great bodyguard), so Ginger
and Clay try to rescue him, but time and time again Ronnie gets the
upper hand, both physically and politically. In the finale, Ginger
gets her revenge by tying up Ronnie and having Whitney rape her, a
final going away present to remind Ronnie what she'll be missing for
the next twenty years she'll be spending behind bars! As an
action film, GIRLS ARE FOR LOVING
is so bad, it's laughable. The fight scenes look like they were made
up on the spot, as they are terribly choreographed and executed. As
bad a singer as Ms. Caffaro is, it pales in comparison to her awful
martial arts moves. Thankfully, director/screenwriter Don Schain ,
who also directed the first two Ginger films, as well as A
PLACE CALLED TODAY (1972) and TOO
HOT TO HANDLE (1976), all starring Caffaro, had the good
sense to have Cheri Caffaro topless or totally naked during most of
her fight scenes. As a matter of fact, both Caffaro and Jocelyn
Peters (in her only feature film appearance) spend most of their
screen time either topless, naked or wearing the smallest amount of
clothing possible, which makes this film a treat for the eyes but not
the ears (You know a film is in trouble when the best acting comes
from 70's exploitation staple Timothy Brown!). Another plus in favor
of this film is the respect Ronnie shows for Ginger, giving the film
a rare pro-feminist viewpoint, unseen in most films of this type
except for blaxploitation films of the 70's with strong female
characters. Still, GIRLS
ARE FOR LOVING fails as an action film. Ginger tries to be a
female James Bond, but it's hard to copy someone when your budget is
less than one of Bond's shaken, not stirred, martinis. This is for
nudity fanatics only and while that not necessarily a bad thing, this
film could have been so much more with a little more attention paid
to the action sequences. Also starring Fred Vincent, Robert C.
Jefferson and Rod Loomis. Available on VHS & DVD from Monterey
Home Video. When this was released to theaters in 1973, it went
out without a rating ("Recommended For Mature Audiences"),
which is basically the same as a self-imposed X-Rating without having
a mandatory MPAA-issued X-Rating slapped on the advertising
materials. It would still have a hard time getting an R-Rating today
without some trimming, especially during a rape scene near the
finale. Not Rated.
GIRLS
ON THE ROAD (1972) - Two young
girls, Karen (Dianna Hull) and Debbie (Kathleen Cody), hit the
wide-open road in search of kicks, ignoring the fact that a serial
killer is murdering young women along the beach of California's Big
Sur. They rent a car, drive recklessly (a cop gives Karen a ticket
for throwing her bra out the window) and fuck with the heads of a
series of hitch-hikers (including two gay guys), nearly hitting one
guy on the side of the road. These girls are nothing but two spoiled
brats who only care about themselves. Also on the road hitch-hiking
is recently-released manic depressive Army soldier Will (Michael
Ontkean), who we see in the beginning of the film beating up two guys
playing pool in a bar for no reason at all, after having a flashback
(which he has frequently) with his Army psychiatrist (who releases
Will after telling him that the Army has done all they can). Will may
also be the serial killer on the loose. Karen and Debbie pick up Will
and he brings them to the Institute For Human Potential, a hippie
encounter group run by Will's old
friend John (Ralph Waite). John tells Will to ditch the Army uniform
("It's a false identity.") if he wants to stay at the
Institute. Karen and Debbie catch the eye of The Maker (John
McMurtry), a creepy Institute teacher and old Army buddy of Will's.
The trio then go to Debbie's parents' beach house, where a bunch of
hippies are squatting. One of them knocks out Will and they take off.
When Will comes to, he grabs his gun and goes after them. When
nighttime comes and Will doesn't return, Debbie and Karen go back to
the Institute looking for him. John returns with them to the beach
house, where they find a groggy Will waiting by the door. John
invites the girls to come back to the Institute in the morning and
walks back to the Institute. Karen goes by herself to the Institute
the next morning (She says, "I feel loved!" after the
encounter group lifts her up in the air in unison), while Will and
Debbie spend some alone time on the beach. That night, one of the
Institute's women, Frances (Pamela Serpe), is murdered. Karen takes
off her top and makes a play for Will, but he rebuffs her. Will
returns to the Institute, where The Maker accuses him of killing
Frances. We then find out who the killer really is, but stupid girls
Karen and Debbie shoot Will with his own gun. The killer (who has a
hatchet) meets the girls outside the beach house, we hear a shot and
then see a freeze-frame of the killer's face. The End. This
early 70's exploitation film, directed by Thomas J. Schmidt (his only
directorial effort; he died at age 35 in 1975), is a severely-dated
road movie full of long-haired hippies in bell bottom pants, hippies
in communes and hippies being hassled by the fuzz. There were so many
hippies, I nearly broke out the bug spray. Much of the film's
philosophies (free love, going braless, homosexuality) seem archaic
and simple-minded today as do the scenes of body painting and group
encounters (not to mention the "far-out" dialogue).
Scripters Michel Levesque (who also directed WEREWOLVES
ON WHEELS [1971] and the WIP flick SWEET
SUGAR [1972]), Larry Bischof and Gloria Goldsmith have
crafted a story that spends way too much time on the commune life and
not enough time on the murder mystery. Once we get the reveal on who
the real killer is, it's way too late to care. Karen and Debbie care
nothing about anyone's feelings and cocktease every man they run
across, never putting out for anyone. I was hoping these two girls
would get abused in some way to teach them a lesson but, except for
the oblique ending, they do very much what they please and get away
with it. For a film about free love, there's precious little nudity
and there's even less blood. It also doesn't help that the sound is
out of synch for almost half the running time (a mastering problem on
the Unicorn VHS tape). This film is only of interest if you want to
see an early film appearance by Michael Ontkean (who would do TV's THE
ROOKIES next) and watch Papa Walton himself, Ralph Waite,
sporting dashikis, spouting inane hippie psychobabble and trying to
get it on with Karen. It's not a pretty sight. Also starring Michael
Kopsche, Elizabeth Saxon, Paul Sorensen, Cliff Emmich and a
blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameo from Uschi Digard. The clever opening
credits are shown as a series of bumper stickers, hand-painted signs
and graffiti on a wall. Also known as HOT
SUMMER WEEK. Released to theaters by Joe Solomon's Fanfare
Corporation (THE LOSERS -
1970). A Unicorn Video
VHS Release. Also available as part of Anchor Bay's GOLDEN
AGE OF LEATHER Vol.
2 VHS box set and a DVD
in its original OAR from Scorpion
Releasing. Rated PG.
GOD'S
BLOODY ACRE (1975) - Three
hillbilly brothers live on a piece of land deep in the forest. When
the National Forest Service decides to build a camping site on their
squatted land, the hillbillies, led by big brother Monroe (Thomas
Wood), fight back. After throwing stones at a worker clearing trees
with a bulldozer, an accident occurs when the worker is cut in half
with his own bulldozer blade. Figuring that it is too late to turn
back, the hillbillies declare war on anyone who sets foot on their
land, including a burnt-out government contractor (Wayne Crawford using
the pseudonym "Scott Lawrence"), an obnoxious couple in an
RV, and a young woman with sexual problems (Jennifer Gregory). The
hillbillies boobytrap the forest, setting up deadly snares and other
devices to kill their human prey. When one of the brothers rapes the
married woman in the RV, she grabs a shotgun and kills Monroe. The
two remaining brothers slit her throat and hang her husband. After
witnessing what the brothers have done, Crawford and Gregory are
pursued through the forest. Deciding that he has had enough, Crawford
turns the tables, making the hunters the hunted. He plants a wooden
stake into one brother's chest and bites the other one in the neck,
severing his jugular. Mistaking Crawford as one of the hillbillies,
Gregory stabs him in the stomach with a sharpened stick as he runs
back to her. Some nice way to thank him for saving her life! Director
Harry Kerwin shot this film in Florida, where he also made MY
THIRD WIFE GEORGE
(1968), IT'S A REVOLUTION MOTHER
(1968), SWEET
BIRD OF AQUARIUS
(1970), TOMCATS (1976), BARRACUDA
(1977) and others. Actor Thomas Wood is actually William Kerwin,
Harry's brother, and has appeared in many films by the notorious H.G.
Lewis, including BLOOD
FEAST
(1963), TWO
THOUSAND MANIACS
(1964) and A
TASTE OF BLOOD
(1967) as well as PLAYGIRL
KILLER
(1965 - a.k.a. DECOY
FOR TERROR),
THE
NAKED ZOO
(1969) and most of his brother's films. He died in 1989. Wayne
Crawford has made a career in appearing in Grade Z actioners,
including the weird SOMETIMES
AUNT MARTHA DOES DREADFUL THINGS (1971), JAKE
SPEED
(1986), QUIET
THUNDER
(1987), WHITE
GHOST
(1988), THE EVIL BELOW
(1989), REBEL
STORM
(1990) and SNAKE ISLAND
(2002). As an example of regional filmmaking, GOD'S
BLOODY ACRE
is pretty good. It contains enough blood and nudity to hold your
attention and is not badly acted. You could do a lot worse. A Trans
World Entertainment VHS Release. Also released on DVD
by Code Red. Rated
R.
THE
GREAT HOLLYWOOD RAPE-SLAUGHTER
(1971/1974) - Film school graduate Steve Ford (Michael Plamondon,
who also co-scripted) heads for Hollywood with his "perfect"
script with hopes of hitting the big time. He puts an ad for work in
Variety and gets a response from Mr. Burns (John Dennis of GARDEN
OF THE DEAD - 1972), a producer of porn (posters with titles
like WIFE SWAPPERS and THE
OBSCENE COUCH adorn his office walls). After showing Steve
some of the shitty porn films he is forced to make, Mr. Burns offers
Steve a chance to make "classy shit", or porn films with a
sense of style and tells Steve that if this arrangement works out, he
will finance Steve's script. Steve watches as hack director Richards
(John Streck) makes a classless porn film (One girl eats M&Ms
while being fucked!), so Steve tells Mr. Burns he'll make a porn film
for him as long as he has script approval and can hire his own
cameraman. Mr. Burns agrees, so Steve hires friend Charlie (Jay
Neale) to handle the camera and they both go to sleazy casting agent
Hammer (J. Streak) to hire four girls that can handle
"dialogue" and two guys that can "act". When
Steve's wife Holly (Betty Jean Smith) finds out what kind of film
Steve is making, she's none too pleased and somewhat jealous. When
Steve and Charlie begin making their porno film, they find they have
to deal
with tempermental actresses, time overages and hard luck stories
from the cast and crew (usually involving money). Steve slowly begins
to lose his mind when Holly leaves him and when he catches one of the
film's producers raping sixteen year-old porn star wannabe Giselle
(Sandra Golden) in a motel room. Steve goes to Mr. Burn's office and
tells him he quits (He says to Burns, "You're a porno maker.
You'll never get any higher in this business than a woman's
crotch!"). Burns flips out and hits Steve over the head with a
booze bottle, then he and his gun-toting associate kick the shit out
of Steve. In the films "What The Fuck?" finale, some beefy
musclebound guy in a BILLY JACK
hat pulls up on a motorcycle to a motel room where an orgy is going
on, bursts through the door and kills everyone with a shotgun and a six-shooter.
He then straps the dead body of a girl to the back of his motorcycle
(after chastising her for getting an abortion!) and rides away. The
final shots reveals that this is nothing but a scene from a movie
that Steve is shooting, as we see the cameraman (an early appearance
by PM Entertainment co-founder Richard Pepin) giving him the OK sign,
the shot is in the can. Steve finally has hit the big time (even
though the guy playing "Steve" in this scene is not Michael
Plamondon!). This obscure softcore exploitation flick purportedly
shows what it was like to make an adult film. As someone that worked
behind the scenes of several porn films during the late 70's, I can
say with certainty that this film has a modicum of truth to it, but
most of it is strictly fantasy. This film portrays pornography films
as a Producer's medium and that may be true, but I never met a
producer quite as giving and co-operative to an untested director
like Mr. Burns is here. He never talks money (at least specific
dollar amounts). Director/producer/co-scripter Charles Edward (He
later changed his name to "Charles Brosseau-Fisher" and
made a little-seen film called FROZEN HOT in 1999, which has
yet to find a distributor) shot this film under the title HARDCORE BLUES
in 1971, but got so pissed that people said he looked like Billy Jack
during the release of THE
TRIAL OF BILLY JACK in 1974, that he shot the non-sensical
ending with himself playing "Billy Jacki" as a slap in the
face to the late Tom Laughlin, seems to imply that porn films are a
necessary means to an end. Steve, just like nearly every film school
grad, has written the perfect script, but can't get anyone to read it
because he also insists on directing it, too. So, Steve bites the
bullet and agrees to direct a hardcore porn film and, even though he
loses his wife and gets beaten up, he still manages to make his dream
movie in the end (I'm surprised Tom Laughlin didn't sue, because
Charles Edwards at the end looks the spitting image of BILLY
JACK and one female character even calls him Billy!). The
sentiment is a little naive, but it gets it's point across thanks to
the final shot. The short (61 minute) ultra-low-budget film is full
of both male and female full frontal nudity, but nothing that
approaches hardcore and contains one head-scratching scene where
Steve and Charlie are filming a guy in a fake moustache (actually
star Michael Plamondon), fucking a woman while wearing a top hat that
has "SUPER BALL"
(the film's alternate title) written on it. As he holds a woman's
legs apart with her vagina close to his face, all we hear on the
soundtrack is a woman whispering, "Super Ball! Super Ball!"
over and over. I'm still trying to figure that one out. The violence
in this film is tame (the slaughter scene at the end never shows
anyone directly getting shot, except when Bill shoots an injured man
in the head after he props his body on a woman to simulate sex) and
the music is by The Rings, who sing of the "Lowdown Hardcore
Blues". Only of interest to those that like obscure softcore
flicks with a little (very little) violence thrown in. The acting is
not that bad, though. Also starring Clay Hollister, Ron Darby, Gwen
Tanney, Karen Sonjohn, Nancy Woods and Sue Marlino (and, no, singer
Linda Ronstadt is nowhere to be found here, no matter what the ad
mats say). An Alpha Blue Archives
Video Release. Reportedly, there is a reel missing from Alpha Blue's
print, but I doubt that reel would change my opinion about this film. Not
Rated.
THE
GREAT TEXAS DYNAMITE CHASE
(1975) - Candy Morgan (Claudia Jennings) breaks out of prison and
the first thing she does is hold up the Alpine Bank by walking in
holding a lit stick of dynamite. Just-fired bank teller Ellie-Jo
Turner (Jocelyn Jones) gives Candy all the bank's money and becomes
excited by the experience. After Candy hands over all the stolen loot
to her father to save the family farm, she hightails it out of town,
where she picks up a hitch-hiking Ellie-Jo. They hit it off
immediately and Ellie-Jo convinces Candy to hold up another bank
using dynamite. Their first attempt is disasterous, as the sticks of
dynamite they use turn out to be duds, which leads to a car chase
with the police. After blowing up a police car with their last good
stick of dynamite, the girls get away and look for a place to buy
dynamite that actually works. They find it by going to construction
foreman Jake (Chris Pennock),
who gives them a crate of TNT and a shotgun after Candy screws him
(and tells him the truth). Their next bank job goes off without a
hitch (it's pretty ingenious, actually), even though they get pulled
over for speeding on the outskirts of town (what Candy and Ellie-Jo
do to the cop is quite funny). After reading in the papers that they
are also wanted on trumped-up charges of killing a bank teller, they
decide to get even by robbing the next bank they run across (It's the
New World Bank, a tip of the hat to New World Pictures, who
distributed this.). Finding that the bank is closed (because they
crossed into a different time zone), they go to a grocery store where
Ellie-Jo is caught shoplifting, forcing the girls to take Slim
(Johnny Crawford) hostage in order to make their escape. Slim quickly
becomes a part of the gang (and love interest for Ellie-Jo), first as
a "hostage" in the bank holdups and later as an active
participant. Things take a serious turn when Slim is shot and killed
by two policemen when he and Ellie-Jo are having a picnic, forcing
Candy to kill the two cops. Candy and Ellie-Jo pull off one last bank
job, but it turns out to be a police setup. Candy is shot and wounded
during the getaway. The last we see the duo, they are on horseback,
crossing the border into Mexico. This is classic 70's
exploitation all the way, thanks to the constant nudity of Jocelyn
Jones (TOURIST TRAP
- 1979) and the late Claudia Jennings (TRUCK
STOP WOMEN - 1974; SISTERS
OF DEATH - 1977) and the comical action scenes. Director
Michael Pressman (DOCTOR
DETROIT
- 1983; TEENAGE
MUTANT NINJA TURTLES II - 1991) clearly knows how to please
the audience, as he doles out nudity, comedy and action in equal
amounts. As always, Claudia Jennings (who died much too young in a
tragic car accident in 1979) proves to be a good actress, both in and
out of clothes. Her chemistry with co-star Jones (they look enough
alike to be sisters) is near-perfect and both make a believable team
of bank robbers and heartbreakers. Jones' on-screen romance with
Johnny Crawford (a former Mousketeer, 50's & 60's TV star [THE
RIFLEMAN]
and Top 40 musician [1962's "Cindy's Birthday"]) is also
spot-on, which only makes it all the more disturbing for the audience
when he is killed. The radical shift from comedy to tragedy late in
the film throws the viewer for a loop and, while the screenplay (by
David Kirkpatrick) may seem broad at times (the fancy hotel scene
panders to every schoolboy's fantasy of a threesome in a bathtub), it
is very entertaining. While the ending is a little abrupt for my
liking (on-screen text tells us both of their fates), what transpires
before it is pure 70's drive-in entertainment at it's finest. Films
like this are what turned me into a fan of exploitation when I was
growing up in the 70's. Also known as DYNAMITE
WOMEN. Also starring Tara Strohmeier, Bart Braverman, Stefan
Gierasch and Eric Boles. Originally available on VHS
from Warner Home Video in one of their huge clamshell cases.
Available on DVD from Roger Corman's New Concorde Home Video and also
an a triple feature 2-DVD
set from Shout! Factory,
which also includes GEORGIA PEACHES
(1980) and SMOKEY BITES
THE DUST (1981). Rated R.
GUESS
WHAT HAPPENED TO COUNT DRACULA?
(1969) - What a ridiculously weird and cheap film. Vampire Count
Adrian (Des Roberts, who also composed the film's music score) runs
an underground nightclub in his castle called Dracula's Dungeon (the
nightclub is only accessible by asking the "Sacred Owl" for
entrance, where a hidden bookcase door opens to allow entry). Count
Adrian has his eye on new customer Angelica (Claudia Barron), but her
boyfriend Guy (John Landon) never leaves her side. Angelica senses
something is wrong ("It's like I'm being drawn to a
coffin!"), so Guy reluctantly takes her home ("You're
acting like a child. You ruined the whole evening!"). Count
Adrian follows Angelica and Guy back to her pad and, after checking
for boogey men under her bed, Guy leaves and almost immediately Count
Adrian materializes in her home. Angelica faints and the Count puts
the bite on her. Angelica goes to Dr. Harris (Roger Branche), who
tells her that's she's anemic and jokingly says to have her boyfriend
quit biting her on the neck during sex play. He playfully remarks
that the puncture marks
on her neck look like a vampire attack and, from that moment on,
Angelica becomes obsessed with vampires. Count Adrian (who we find
out is the son of Count Dracula) is having somewhat of an internal
struggle in his castle with his manservant Igor (Danny Lester) and
they have a battle of psychic wills (insert cheap opticals here),
where Igor loses and ends up caged like an animal. Angelica's friends
invade her home for an impromptu party and Count Adrian shows up.
Angelica complains that she has a severe migraine, so Adrian
hypnotizes her with a medallion he wears around his neck and her
migraine goes away. Angelica and Adrian hit it off (he mentions
"necrophilia", but she's never heard of the word before)
and she invites him over the next night for a juicy steak dinner for
two. Later that night, Angelica has a bad nightmare involving rats
and running down an endless corridor, right after she looks up
"necrophilia" in the dictionary and goes, "Ewwww!"
The Count returns that night and bites her neck once again, but not
before telling her that she will be her bride and live forever. Guy
becomes worried when he notices Angelica's pale skin, her aversion to
sunlight, her appetite for raw meat and her fear of the crucifix he
wears around his neck. Can Guy and Dr. Harris save Angelica in time
before she becomes Count Adrian's eternal vampire bride? Does she
even want to be saved? A surprise reveal in the finale proves Guy is
not the good guy he was pretending to be. This ultra-low-budget
horror comedy, directed, produced and written by Laurence Merrick (BLACK
ANGELS - 1970 [also starring Des Roberts]; MANSON
- 1973), has the production values and acting talent of a porn film
of the time period. It should come as no surprise then to learn that
this is a PG-rated edit (which would explain some of the jump cuts
here) of a far more sexually explicit film titled DOES DRACULA
REALLY SUCK?, which also contained more violence and,
unfortunately, seems to be a lost film. It was also edited into a gay
feature called DRACULA AND THE BOYS (which also seems to be
lost). The PG edit still contains enough weirdness to keep the viewer
entertained, including Des Roberts' portrayal of Count Adrian (who
looks like Abraham Lincoln, if Lincoln were a vampire!), who slips in
and out of his Bela Lugosi accent so often, it can't be accidental; a
voodoo ceremony where someone eats a (obviously rubber) lizard
("I have eaten the lizard! I am the lizard! Macumba!"); a
gorilla in a cage; a real pet tiger; a cackling old hag tarot card
reader; and a head-scratchingly funny scene where Dr. Harris and his
nurse throw double-entendres at each other ("Do you wanna do it
on my desk?"), only to reveal that they are about to play a game
of chess (I'm sure that scene played a lot differently in the
sexually explicit version!). I must say that I enjoyed this little
slice of cheese more than I should have, but it is just funny,
strange and short enough (78 minutes) to hold interest. The opening
and closing credits are written in an old book with flipping pages.
Also starring Frank Donato, Yvonne Gaudry, Damu King, Jim Settler,
Angela Carnon, Nancy Simpson, John King, Gene Stowell and Jeff Cady.
Available on VHS by Something
Weird Video (in a pretty battered print) and also available on
DVD from SWV as part of a double feature with DRACULA,
THE DIRTY OLD MAN (1969). Rated PG (originally GP).
GUYANA:
CRIME OF THE CENTURY (1979) -
Less than a year after the horrendous November 18, 1978 Jonestown
Massacre in Guyana, Mexican director Rene Cardona Jr. (NIGHT
OF A THOUSAND CATS - 1972; THE
BERMUDA TRIANGLE - 1978; BEAKS:
THE MOVIE - 1987) churned-out this grisly quickie, a
fictionalized account of the events than contains enough core truths
to make it an uncomfortable viewing experience. But don't write-off
this film just yet, because it has a bunch of slightly less-than
A-list actors giving their all in what should be a turgid,
sensationalized b-flick, but is highly watchable nonetheless. Stuart
Whitman (DEMONOID
- 1981) is excellent as the sweaty, seersucker and sunglasses-wearing
Reverend James Johnson, who moves his flock of trusting human sheep
of all races and colors from San Francisco, California to a tract of
land he owns in Guyana after telling them that the United States is a
den of sinful inequity, full of fornication, drugs and violence that
would surely turn their children into the devil's disciples (In
truth, Jim Jones was being investigated by the IRS and he needed to
move to a country where his "church' could not be touched by the
U.S.). He moves his large congregation, which includes families with
children, to a 27,000 acre tract
of undeveloped land dubbed "Johnsontown", where everyone
toils long hours on agricultural farms (they don't know that Johnson
is spiking their food with "stimulants") while Johnson
spews his psycho-religious diatribes over a loudspeaker ("All
those who oppose Johnson's Temple oppose me! And those that oppose me
oppose God! They shall die in shame and sin and feel the mighty flow
of God's wrath! And that Judgment Day, I will make them pay!").
While most of his flock believe everything that comes out of his
mouth, there are a few people who grow tired of working long hours
with little food (he has three young children brutally tortured for
stealing food) and when they try to escape, they are whipped in front
of everyone else as a warning. As the Reverend's behavior grows more
bizarre (thanks to his addiction to painkillers) and his punishments
grow more severe (he forces one teen boy to have sex with a man when
he is caught having sex with a teen girl), the U.S. government sends
a convoy of politicians and reporters, including Congressman Lee
O'Brien (Gene Barry; WAR OF
THE WORLDS - 1953), to make sure that the people of
Johnsontown are being treated properly and not being held by force.
This leads to a massacre of the reporters when Johnson doesn't
believe Congressman O'Brien and his entourage have fallen for the
ruse (Johnson dresses his flock in new clothes and makes sure plenty
of healthy food is on view, a stark contrast of what is really going
on there). When news of the massacre reaches the outside world,
Johnson sees no other recourse than to have his entire congregation
drink cyanide-laced Kool-Aid (those that refuse are forced to drink
or shot), which leads to one of the largest mass suicides in modern
history and one of the most horrific examples of religious zealotry
ever witnessed by human eyes. Titled GUYANA:
CULT OF THE DAMNED when released to theaters in the U.S. by
Universal Studios and edited down to a 90 minute R-rated edition from
its original 114 minute cut (to tighten the narrative and remove some
of the more seedier aspects of the film), the version released by VCI
Entertainment on DVD is a longer edit (107 minutes), but is still
missing some of the more extreme bits of violence (While this version
restores some of the footage of the three young children being
tortured [by snakes, drowning and spikes], it omits most of the
blood). Director/producer Rene Cardona Jr., who co-wrote the
screenplay with Carlos Valdemar (Cardona Jr.'s CYCLONE
- 1978), manages to touch on most of the widely known facts about Jim
Jones and Jonestown, but takes many liberties with the true story
(especially when it comes to what the reporters uncover on their
visit to Johnsontown and Johnson's punishment of the unfaithful).
While Stuart Whitman is appropriately sleazy as Johnson (it is one of
his best roles in the latter part of his career) and the film manages
to entertain on a b-level, if you really want to view an effective
retelling of the Jonestown massacre and the events that led up to it,
try watching the two-part 1980 miniseries THE
GUYANA TRAGEDY: THE STORY OF JIM JONES with Powers Boothe as
Jones. That film will leave a huge knot in your stomach, whereas this
film is nothing but cheap exploitation fare that was quickly
churned-out to cash-in on the then-recent events, while it was still
fresh on everyone's mind. Also starring John Ireland, Joseph Cotten,
Bradford Dillman, Yvonne DeCarlo, Jennifer Ashley, Nadiuska, Tony
Young, Robert DoQui and Hugo Stiglitz. Quite a cast for such a cheap
film. The widescreen print used for the VCI
Entertainment DVD is overly dark, especially in the night
scenes, making some of the action (especially Ms. DeCarlo's death)
hard to see. Not Rated.
THE
GUY FROM HARLEM (1976) - Here's
a blaxploitation flick that makes any film starring Rudy Ray Moore
look like high-end entertainment. Former Harlem detective Al Connors
(Loye Hawkins) is now a Miami-based private dick. He is visited by
old CIA buddy David McLeod (Vaughn Harris) and partner Paul Benson
(Michael Murrell), who want Al to babysit Mrs. Ashanti (Patricia
Fulton), the wife of an important African diplomat visiting Miami on
business. Al and Mrs. Ashanti register as husband and wife at a ritzy
hotel and Mrs. Ashanti complains that she has an achy back, so Al
calls for a masseuse. A female masseuse shows up a short time later,
but it's obvious to Al (and us) that the masseuse is working for the
bad guys, who want to kidnap Mrs. Ashanti for ransom.. Fortunately,
she doesn't get the chance to drug Mrs. Ashanti, thanks to Al keeping
a close eye on her. When the masseuse reluctantly leaves, Al orders
room service ("Send up two New York strip steaks.") and
puts the moves on Mrs. Ashanti (She says, "Just because I'm
bored doesn't mean I'm hot to trot!"). After knocking out a
transvestite pretending to deliver the room service (Mrs. Ashanti
asks Al how he knew the room service girl was a guy, he responds,
"I know what a New York strip steak smells like and he didn't
bring any!") and getting into a tussle with two goons who burst through
the front door (a hilariously-bad martial arts fight), Al learns
that white man Big Daddy (Scott Lawrence) wants to kidnap Mrs.
Ashanti. They move out of the hotel and into the apartment of Al's
part-time white girlfriend, JoAnn (Angela Schon), where Al kicks
JoAnn out of the apartment and then seduces Mrs. Ashanti. The next
morning, Al turns Mrs. Ashanti over to the CIA and returns to his
office, where he is visited by Harry DeBauld (Steve Gallon, a.k.a.
"Wildman Steve") and his son Larry (Laster Wilson), who
want Al to to rescue their kidnapped daughter/sister Wanda (Cathy
Davis). Al agrees to deliver the ransom, which includes $500,000 in
cocaine and $250,000 in cash, when he learns that the person
responsible for Wanda's kidnapping is none other than Big Daddy. Al
eventually rescues Wanda, but, surprisingly, she doesn't want to go
home. Where does he bring her? That's right, to JoAnn's apartment!
After kicking JoAnn out of her own apartment once again, Al makes
sweet love to Wanda, delivers her to her daddy and then has a final
confrontation with Big Daddy and his henchman Jim (Richie Vallon),
where he answers Big Daddy's question: "Is it true that niggers
are like dogs, they fight in packs? I want a piece of your ass, if
you're not a dog!" Al kills Big Daddy in a no-holds-barred fight
(at least I think it's no-holds-barred, it's just hard to tell),
thereby saving the world from another white trash piece of kidnapping
scum. Now, if he would just do something about all those lousy
Cubans! Impossibly shoddy in nearly every department, from
threadbare sets, chainsaw editing, fights that look to have been
choreographed by a blind man and, most of all, acting from a troupe
of low-talent thespians that not only constantly flub their lines,
they also step on everyone else's (you can practically see footprints
on the actors' tongues), THE GUY FROM HARLEM is one of those
rare films where all the bad stuff comes together and produces a film
that's totally watchable in a train wreck sort of way. The production
values never rise above that of a 70's porn feature (it may actually
be a step down) and neither does the acting , but some of the
dialogue and situations are priceless. My favorite scene comes when
Matt, one of the white kidnappers, tells Wanda that her Afro feels
like pubic hair and then unzips his fly and sticks his dick in her
face (we see everything from Matt's back, so we actually see nothing)
and Wanda's reply of, "Man, get your ass outta my face!"
had me rolling on the floor with laughter (Wanda, my dear, that's not
his ass in your face!). Director Rene Martinez Jr., who also made the
equally risible ROAD OF DEATH
(1973) and THE SIX
THOUSAND DOLLAR NIGGER (1978 - a.k.a. SUPER
SOUL BROTHER and THE
SIX THOUSAND DOLLAR SUPER BROTHER, starring Wildman Steve in
the title role) hasn't got a clue on how to frame a shot or be
bothered with second takes (my guess is that there's not a wasted
frame in the whole film) and sister Gardenia Martinez's screenplay
contains way too much overblown dialogue, but THE GUY FROM HARLEM
is a goofy Grade Z effort that's good for many unintentional laughs.
Also starring Wanda Starr as Al's secretary, whose line delivery is
simply beyond words (she at least half a beat behind everyone else).
Originally available on VHS from Xenon
Entertainment and available on DVD from Mill Creek Entertainment
in many of their DVD compilations (including MARTIAL
ARTS 50 MOVIE PACK and DRIVE-IN
CLASSICS 50 MOVIE PACK) or on a stand-alone budget DVD (as THE
GOOD GUY FROM HARLEM) from EastWest Entertainment. Also
available on a widescreen Double
Feature DVD, with FORCE
FOUR (1974), from Code Red.
Rated R.
THE
HAND OF PLEASURE (1971) - Hopelessly
inept sex/espionage comedy. American agents are found "sucked
to death" in the Soho quarter of London which Scotland Yard
attributes as the work of a nefarious gang known as The Hand Of
Pleasure, led by Dr. Dreadful who dresses as the Phantom
of the Opera. American tourist Joe takes in a strip show and is
slipped some important papers by a captured American agent. He brings
the papers to Scotland Yard where he agrees to become a pawn in a
plan to locate and defeat Dr. Dreadful and his all-girl gang. Joe
meets a female American college student, who is in London writing her
thesis on sexual
positions! They fall in love. They are both captured by Dr. Dreadful
and submitted to various means of sexual torture. Can Scotland Yard
save them in time? This dated semi-porn feature wastes about half of
its' scant 65 minute running time on travelogue footage of London.
The rest of the film is filled with the worst acting and simulated
sex that you can imagine. Even though both male and female full
frontal nudity is on display, the sex scenes leave a lot to be
desired. Fellatio is performed on flaccid dicks. Would your dick be
as limp if you were getting oral sex? I think not. Another
distraction is the actress (?) portraying the college student. She
has such a tremendous overbite that you could hide a Buick Roadmaster
in her mouth. There are other signs of trouble: Voiceover narration
(probably to hide the fact that no one could handle a speaking part)
and no title or end credits. There is some camp value (the 70's
fashions and hair styles) but by no means is this good viewing.
Starring Marie Arnold and directed by Zoltan G. Spencer (ALL
THE WAY DOWN (1968); TERROR
AT ORGY CASTLE (1971), who has also directed under the name
Spence Crilly (SISTERS IN LEATHER
- 1969). Both Luna Video and Something
Weird Video offer copies of this lousy film. Buy it at your own
risk. Also available from Something Weird on a triple-feature
DVD, with EVIL
COME EVIL GO and TERROR AT ORGY CASTLE. Unrated.
HI-RIDERS
(1978) - Director Greydon Clark may not be one of the
better-known and most respected names of 70's & 80's exploitation
cinema, but he churned-out many low-budget films in many genres,
including Horror (SATAN'S CHEERLEADERS
- 1977; WITHOUT WARNING
- 1979); Action (ANGELS' BRIGADE
- 1979; FINAL JUSTICE -
1984); Science Fiction (THE
RETURN - 1980; DARK
FUTURE - 1994); Comedy (WACKO
- 1981; JOYSTICKS - 1983) and
this film, which is two parts street racing drama/one part revenge
thriller. Mark (Darby Hinton; FIRECRACKER
- 1981) and his girlfriend Lynn (Diane Peterson) arrive in L.A. from
San Diego in their souped-up Firebird and challenge Billy (Roger
Hampton), a champion street racer for the Hi-Riders, to a street
race. After letting Billy win the first race for $50, Lynn challenges
Billy (who she calls "Fatty" in a taunting tone) to another
race for $550 and Mark wins easily. Seeing that he was played for a
sucker, Billy takes off without paying and gets away (thanks to a
motorcycle cop who breaks up the chase), but the next day, Mark and
Lynn spot Billy driving down the highway
and the chase is on. Billy leads them to a deserted Western ghost
town that is Hi-Riders headquarters and after a short fistfight,
Hi-Riders leader T.J. (Wm J. Beaudine) intervenes and decides that
the only way to settle the matter is to have Billy and Mark race each
other again. Mark again easily wins the race (after Billy tries to
cheat) and T.J. welcomes Mark and Lynn into the Hi-Riders, although
Billy and a select few of the members aren't too keen on the idea
(Billy challenges T.J. to a game of "Chicken" and when
Billy loses, they bury the hatchet and an orgy takes place, where one
love-struck drunken gang member chops-off the roof of his car when
Lynn mentions that she loves convertibles!). Mark, Lynn and the
Hi-Riders then head to a "Drag City", a term used where the
Hi-Riders head to some random town and challenge the locals to drag
races for money and pink slips. They stop in some jerkwater backwoods
town and hit the bar run by Red (Neville Brand; THE
MAD BOMBER - 1972). T.J. catches the eye of barmaid Angie
(Karen Fredrik) and the town patriarch, Mr. Lewis (Stephen McNally; BLACK
GUNN - 1972), enters the bar with two goons and threatens
Red with bodily harm and to shut down the bar if he serves his
never-do-well son, street racer Jason (Stephen Helgoth), any more
booze. As soon as old man Lewis exits the bar, his son enters and
challenges Billy to a race for $100. Billy wins the race and everyone
heads back to Red's bar to celebrate, but the Sheriff (Mel Ferrer; CITY
OF THE WALKING DEAD - 1980) and boozer Deputy Mike (Ralph
Meeker; MY BOYS ARE GOOD BOYS
- 1978) warn Jason and the Hi-Riders not to race again or they will
be thrown in jail. The idiotic Jason challenges Billy to another race
(for pink slips), but the race turns deadly when both cars crash and
Jason, Billy and a local underage female are burned alive in the
explosion. This sets the stage for bloody retribution when Mr. Lewis
will not be satisfied until every member of the Hi-Riders are dead.
It turns out Mr. Lewis is a retired big shot from back East and he
offers $50,000 for the extermination of the Hi-Riders. Takers come
out of the woodwork and gun-down most of the Hi-Riders at a gas
station, but a mortally wounded Toad (Brad Reardon) is able to warn
T.J., Mark, Lynn and Angie before he dies. Our fearless foursome must
find a way to stop Mr. Lewis before they end up dead, too. The
first two-thirds of HI-RIDERS
is an amiable tale about drag racing and the family atmosphere
surrounding the Hi-Riders (Hell, even Billy turns out to be a
likeable jerk). The film takes a dark turn after the fatal crash and
director/screenwriter Greydon Clark ladles on the blood and violence
as the bad guys (who all drive beat-up pickup trucks) try to kill
T.J. and the remaining trio. You can tell Clark blew most of the
film's paltry budget on the final thirty minutes, as trucks and
people fly through the air (in super-slow-motion), fall off bridges
or end up in fiery crashes. Clark also fills the film with plenty of
female nudity, sex and car chases, making this a perfect night of
exploitation for the viewer, the kind of film that could have only
been made in the 70's. So sit back, relax, put your brain in neutral
and just go along for the ride. Also starring Carl Labove, Dee
Cooper, Gary Littlejohn, Lily Rabin, Daulton Smith, Al Gomez and Liza
Greer. David Essex's "Rock On" can be heard on the
soundtrack. Originally released on VHS by Force
Video and available on widescreen DVD
from VCI Entertainment
as part of a double feature with Clark's THE
BAD BUNCH (1974). Rated R.
HOLLYWOOD
MAN (1976) - This little-seen
film opens with star William Smith (also a co-producer and
co-scripter) traveling down the open road with his motorcycle gang
while an on-screen passage declares: It has been said: "You
always
find out what something is worth when you pay for it." It
turns out that it was nothing but footage that actor Rafe Stoker
(Smith) was showing to a movie producer. Rafe needs $375, 000 to
finish the film, but the producer passes. He does give Rafe the phone
number of Angelo Russo (Angelo Farese), but warns Rafe, "I'd
advise you not to call him." Since a lot of Rafe's friends and
fellow actors are depending on this movie being finished, Rafe makes
a deal with Mr. Russo (who, not surprisingly, is a Mafia don), but
Russo's right-hand man Tony (Carmine Caridi) makes Rafe sign papers
that will turn over everything Rafe owns (including his Hollywood
mansion) if he doesn't finish the film in four weeks. Turns out that
Rafe has the deck stacked against him as Tony hires Harvey
(co-scripter Ray Girardin) to disrupt the filming of the movie. Tony
wants the movie finished, he just wants it to take longer than four
weeks. Never trust the Mob. At first, director/star Rafe works his
crew long hours, but the film is on schedule. But
then, Harvey and his mentally-challenged brutish sidekick Rhodes
(co-producer Jude Farese) start messing with the set. Harvey comes to
the shooting location (filmed in Fort Lauderdale, Florida), shoots
holes in the generator and threatens Rafe with a gun, but Rafe slugs
him and Harvey and his gang of bikers spoil some shots by riding
their motorcycles into camera range. The bikers then steal equipment
and rape a female crew member. Rafe falls five days behind schedule
and runs out of money. He hits-up Mr. Russo for another $50,000 to
finish the film and promises Mr. Russo that the film will be
profitable. Harvey tries to kidnap Rafe's girlfriend Julie (Mary
Woronov), but Rafe beats the crap out of Harvey and Rhodes, saving
her. The crooked sheriff (Tom Simcox) arrests Rafe, but Rafe
sweet-talks him into letting him finish the film. The delusional
Harvey goes totally bonkers (Earlier, he tells everyone who would
listen that he appeared in SPARTACUS
with Kirk Douglas, but jealousy led to him being fired from the film)
and decides to kill Rafe, totally ignoring Tony's wishes. Tony shows
up with more papers for Rafe to sign, which Rafe does after having
his life threatened. Harvey kills Rafe's stunt double, Barney (Don
Stroud), and pins down the crew with sniper fire. Rafe turns the
camera on Harvey and films himself killing Rhodes and the sheriff
killing Harvey. Rafe finishes the film, but the shocking conclusion
once again proves that you should never, ever trust the Mob. This
look at the making of a low-budget film, directed by action expert
Jack Starrett (THE LOSERS
- 1970; THE DION BROTHERS
- 1973), is probably the closest you'll probably ever get to see what
it's like to make a genre fim without actually being there. This
Quentin Tarantino favorite is obviously a labor of love for all those
involved and I'm willing to bet that a lot of dialogue was improvised
on the spot. My favorite line comes when Harvey's girlfriend, Buttons
(Jennifer Billingsley), is in a bar and says, " Hey, bartender!
How do you get this jukebox to work?" Without missing a beat,
the bartender (Billy Rose) says, "Try sticking a quarter in it,
you dumb cunt!" A cast of low-budget pros, including Don Stroud
(as a stuntman who is always talking about times when he was high),
John Alderman (as a biker named Jesus), Michael Delano, Wade Preston,
Stafford Morgan, director Byron Mabe (THE
ADULT VERSION OF JEKYLL
& HIDE
- 1971, and also an Associate Producer here) and everyone previously
mentioned give their all to a film that probably cost as much as the
craft service budget of a big studio movie. There's not much meat to
the plot, but the story does take an unexpected, violent turn when
Harvey goes off the deep end and murders all his cohorts (including
his girlfriend) with a high-powered rifle (He doesn't kill Rhodes,
though, as they seem to have some strange symbiotic relationship).
The unexpected finale is also an eye-opener. I won't spoil it for
you, except to say it's not a happy ending. It's not a happy ending
by a long shot. Be forewarned that if you go into this expecting the
late director Jack Starrett's patented exciting action setpieces,
like the ones found in his SLAUGHTER
(1972), CLEOPATRA JONES
(1973), RACE WITH THE DEVIL
(1975) or his many other films, you will be severely disappointed
because this is a personal drama about one man's travails to get his
vision completed at any cost. And, boy, does it cost! If you a a fan
of Big Bill Smith (like myself), this film is a must-see. Also known
as STOKER. Available on VHS from Monterey
Home Video and available on DVD from Mill Creek as one of their
50 film compilations entitled SUSPENSE
CLASSICS (in a terribly-encoded print). Not Rated.
THE
HOT BOX (1972) - In the (fictional)
Republic of San Rosario, three young boys are frolicking naked in a
lake when one of them gets extremely ill and is rushed to the local
hospice. After some substandard care and homemade herbal remedies,
the young boy dies and his father, Flavio (Carmen Argenziano; FIGHTING
MAD - 1978), is not a happy man. Meanwhile, at a real
hospital just down the road, a full medical staff saves the young son
of the country's Minister of Defense, the same operation Flavio's son
needed to stay alive. Yes, the Republic of San Rosario has two
classes: the rich and influential who can get what is needed to save
lives and the poor, hard-working citizens, who can't afford
to save their family's lives. Something tells me a change is gonna
come. Flavio becomes a revolutionary and begins killing soldiers and
military officials with a loyal band of friends. Four American women,
Bunny (Andrea Kagan), Lynn (Margaret Markov; THE
ARENA - 1973), Ellie (Rickey Richardson) and Sue (Laurie
Rose: THE WOMAN HUNT - 1972) are
picnicing on the beach with their four Filipino boyfriends when they
are captured by land raiders and led off into the jungle (their
boyfriends are tied to their boat and set adrift). Flavio pays the
land raiders for the four women (just before one of them tries to
rape Lynn) and we then find out that these four women are actually
volunteer nurses sent to San Rosario to work in the cushy hospitals.
Flavio will have none of that and makes the women tend to the poor
villagers and injured freedom fighters. At first the women are
reticent to help, but once they see the deplorable, dirty conditions
the villagers live in, they quickly change their minds (but not
before stealing a truck and unsuccessfully making a run for it) and
begin making a difference by opening a dispensary and teaching the
villagers basic medical procedures. Flavio and his men steal the
medical supplies the girls need and Lynn agrees to go on a raid to
make sure they steal the right supplies. After seeing the deplorable
condition of the hospital they are robbing (they have no medical
supplies to steal!), Lynn opens her eyes and becomes a believer in
Flavio's plight, falling in love with his second-in-command Ronaldo
(Zaldy Zshornack) and going with him on a much more dangerous raid at
an Army base, where there are plenty of medical supplies and weapons
(the ensuing firefight is well-done and bloody as hell). Flavio and
Ellie become lovers (Ellie is black and equates her racial troubles
back in the States with Flavio's plight), but Ronaldo believes that
Flavio is running the revolution in the wrong way, which leads to
internal strife. Ronaldo leaves the camp and agrees to take the four
women to freedom, but they are captured by Major Dubay (Charles
Dierkop; a regular on the 70's TV series POLICE
WOMAN [1974 - 1978]), a despicable military man/rapist who
pretended to be a photojournalist named "Garcia" earlier in
the film to get the skinny on Flavio's operation. While Major Dubay
is raping Sue in his office, the other girls are put in a cage (the
"hot box" of the film's title) and forced to strip in front
of all the soldiers. The girls escape with Ronaldo's help and head
back to Flavio's camp to warn him of Major Dubay's upcoming assault.
Will the girls make it in time and will Flavio's vision come
true? For those expecting a Women In Prison (WIP) flick, they
are in for a huge surprise. Director/co-screenwriter Joe Viola (ANGELS
HARD AS THEY COME - 1971) and producer/co-writer Jonathan
Demme (CAGED HEAT - 1974; CRAZY
MAMA - 1975) have fashioned a tale full of nudity (Including
the women, men and children. Try getting away with that today!),
violence and just the right amount of 70's politics and, wouldn't you
know it, it works better than it has any right to, thanks to decent
acting by a cast of pros, some good action sequences full of bloody
bullet squibs, crossbow bolt impalements, knifings, explosions and
plenty of stunts. What I particularly liked about this film is that
even though Flavio is meant to be the hero of this film, he's one of
the most unlikeable heroes you're ever likely to meet. He slaps the
women around, treats his men like shit and threatens to court martial
Ronaldo when the final battle is over. This Philippines-lensed
feature has everything you could ask for in a 70's drive-in
exploitation film: Plenty of pretty naked ladies; bloody violence;
and a story that is not hard to follow, but it's not simple or
dumbed-down. I recommend THE HOT BOX
(also known as THE HELL CATS)
to all fans of 70's exploitation. Just don't fall for the false
advertising that makes it look like it is an early-70's WIP flick
(the girls spend less than two minutes of screen time in the hot
box). Also starring Jose Romolo, Rocco Montalban, Gina Lafortenza,
Ruben Ramos, Roy Alvarez and Ramon D'Salva. Originally available on
VHS by Embassy Home Entertainment
and available on DVD from Shock-O-Rama
Cinema as part of their WOMEN
IN PRISON TRIPLE FEATURE (with WOMEN
IN CELL BLOCK 7 - 1973 and ESCAPE
FROM HELL - 1980). Rated R.
THE
HOUSE OF INSANE WOMEN (1971) -
After the enormous success of THE EXORCIST
(1973), genre distributors scrambled to find any films they could to
cash-in on that film's popularity. This Spanish film, made two years
before William Friedkin's film was even released, was retitled EXORCISM'S
DAUGHTER and set loose on an unsuspecting public. Truth be
told, after watching this film, I was kind of flummoxed as to what
category to put this film in. It's not a horror film and it's not a
thriller. And it really has nothing to
do with demonic possession, even though there is a scene of supposed
demonic possession in the film. It has a few exploitable elements, so
the best place to put it was here. But don't think this is any way an
exploitation film. It is actually a serious indictment on how Spain
dealt with people who had mental problems at the turn of the
Twentieth Century. The film opens up at a female mental institution,
where conditions are, simply put, horrendous. We see women dressed in
filthy clothes, their hair matted and dirty, their skin covered with
grime and fecal matter and the living conditions are horrible (some
of the more seriously disturbed patients are kept in cages with no
beds). Believe it or not, the nurses are actually nuns, who haven't
the slightest idea how to take care of the mentally handicapped so,
when they act up, they are strapped into wicker baskets and dunked
into a well filled with cold water. A new doctor, Rafael Alba
(Espartaco Santoni; VIOLENT
BLOOD BATH - 1973), is hired to oversee the asylum and he has
new ideas on how to approve the conditions. First, he announces that
"This is the end of the era of straitjackets" and says that
treating people like actual human beings is much better that treating
them as animals. But before any of this can be achieved, he must have
to deal with the asylum's cruel male guard, Puzo (Francisco Rabal; CITY
OF THE WALKING DEAD - 1980), who has to get drunk every
morning just to come to work (there's a scene in the beginning of the
film where Puzo is drinking in an attic and he watches a cat catch a
rat and eat it, a suitable analogy for Puzo's life). Puzo is a
literal sadist, a tortured soul who is worse off than the patients he
oversees, who gets off abusing the female patients (both physically
and sexually) while the women look at him as they would a rabid dog
(one obese female patient pours the contents of her bedpan on the
floor when he passes her). He also sells the prettier inmates nightly
to stranger for sex, basically acting like their pimp (only he gets
to keep all the cash), and he finds particular joy in tormenting the
patients by slapping them around or hosing them down while calling
them "idiots" and "loons". The first time Dr.
Alba confronts Puzo, Puzo tells him, "This hellhole is a
cemetery and these idiots are all dead". Dr. Alba begins shaking
things up in the asylum, disrupting the status quo, including Puzo's
brutal treatment of the patients. Dr. Alba is a man of science, who
begins treating the inmates as human beings and not disposable
property, first by giving them proper haircuts, cleaning them up and
letting them go outside every day to escape the filth and stink that
is inside (which he also begins cleaning up). He wins the inmates
faith, but his methods anger the asylum's Board of Trustees, who
don't like what Dr. Alba is doing because it is costing them money
which would otherwise fill their pockets (the more crazy people they
have, the more money the country gives to them). They don't want any
of these people "cured" because it will hit them in their
pocketbooks. Puzo now actually has to treat the inmates with respect,
as Dr. Alba orders him to stay sober while he is on the job,
something which doesn't go over too well with him. Dr. Alba becomes
very interested with a patient called Tania (Analía
Gadé; THE
MURDER MANSION - 1972; she was married to Espartaco Santoni
when this film was made), who has lost her memory and can't remember
anything about her life. He thinks he can cure her with a new
scientific method called "hypnosis". He gives a
demonstration of hypnosis to the Board of Trustees, who are not happy
that this method may be able to cure patients. They would
rather put their trust in religion and leave it to God to cure them
(at least thay is what they say, but Dr. Alba knows what their real
motivation is: money) and when one of the Trustee members questions
Dr. Alba on why they never see him in church on Sundays, he retorts,
"I study science, sir, not sorcery!", putting all the
members in their place (One female board member [played by Maria
Asquerino] tries several times to get Dr. Alba to move out of the
asylum and live with her in her mansion so she can have sex with him,
but every time she asks, he turns down her advances, which will one
day come back to bite him in the ass). Dr. Alba knows he has to tread
lightly, because his only friend on the Board (José
Vivó; PANIC BEATS
- 1983; the one who hired him) explains to him that change doesn't go
over well with his fellow Board members, but his interest in curing
Tania is so strong, he ends up spending more time with her than any
other patient. During one of their hypnosis sessions, Dr. Alba breaks
the wall in Tania's memory and learns why Tania was admitted to the
asylum at such a young age. When Tania was a child, she witnessed her
mother acting strange, twitching on the floor. A bunch of nuns gather
around her in a circle and say in unison, "We have come to take
your mother. She has had devils inside her body for six years. Only a
miracle can save her. Make her drink the holy water!" Young
Tania (portrayed by Inma de Santis) watches as her mother dies on the
floor, thinking for all these years that her mother was demonically
possessed and that she, one day, wiil be, too, to the point of
blocking her whole life from her memory. When Dr. Alba tells Tania
that her mother wasn't demonically possessed, but probably suffered
from epilepsy, which gave her seizures that the nuns mistakenly
believed was demonic possession, Tania breaks free of her mind's
chains and is cured. Just as Dr. Alba is about to release her from
the asylum for good (they have also become lovers, too), he gets word
that he has been fired and must leave the premises immediately, never
to come back (It turns out the female Board member was tired of him
turning down her advances and got the majority of the rest of the
Board to fire him). This means that Tania must stay in the asylum,
even though she has been cured. Things go back to "normal"
at the asylum, where a drunk Puzo can now go back to his brutal ways,
while Tania sits on the floor of a solitary confinement cell, trying
to keep sane by hearing the last words Dr. Alba said to her:
"Hold on. I will return." Does he? We never find out. All
we see is Tania sitting on the cold stone floor, her arms around her
knees while "THE END" appears on-screen. Sometimes life
isn't fair. As an exploitation film, this
fails
miserably, but it was never meant to be one. Like I said earlier in
the review, this is actually a drama, an indictment about how
religion always trumped rational or scientific thought, even it it
meant people with mental problems suffered worse than an abused dog.
It also shows how religion made people rich back in the days when
science was just coming to the forefront, scoffing at the thought
that man could do something that God couldn't: Actually help the
mentally handicapped. Director/writer Rafael Morena Alba (who only
directed a handful of films, including the crime thriller TRIANGLE
[1972] and the 1984 biographical Spanish mini-series THE
COURT MARTIAL OF MARIANA PINEDA,
before passing away in 2000) succeeds in spades when it come to
displaying that aspect and that is all he was trying to do. If people
felt cheated when they went to see it in theaters, they should have
blamed the distribution companies for their outrageous ad campaigns.
But if you watch the film for what is was actually trying to convey,
you should be satisfied. Nothing more and nothing less. The whole
"exorcism" angle only takes up about three minutes of
screen time and it's not actually an exorcism at all, but the way
religion treated valid medical conditions by putting faith in God
rather than giving them medication. It still amazes me today that
some religions still believe in this practice, saying "God will
cure my children, not medical attention." and nearly every time
they die, but they still put their faith in religion, making lame
excuses like "God must have had a plan for them in Heaven."
That is all this film is trying to put forth to audiences. Spain was
no different during the turn of the Twentieth Century than it was in
the Dark Ages when it came to medicine and religion (and some could
take it as a then [1971] modern-day parable about the Franco Regime).
While there is some full-frontal nudity and lesbian activity
(surprising for a Spanish film made during this period when sex and
nudity on screen was a no-no, but this was probably the International
Version; the version shown in Spain probably had the women clothed),
it is not titillating in the least. If you are in the mood for
something different, by all means watch this. If you think that you
will be watching a horror or "Women In Prison" film, you
will be bitterly disappointed. Look for Spanish staple Helga
Liné (HORROR
RISES FROM THE TOMB - 1972) as one of the patients. Also
starring Yelena Samarina, Asunción Balaguer, Maria Vico, Pilar
Bardem, Eulalia Del Pino, Ama Ma Espejo, Rosa Fontana, Mary Levia,
Marta Monterrey, Susan Taff, Betsabe Ruiz and Victor Israel. I
believe the only VHS release this ever recieved was from Something
Weird Video (as part of "Frank Henenlotter's Sexy Shockers
from the Vaults"), but Code Red
offers a beat-up, but watchable, anamorphic widescreen print (1.78:1)
as part of a double
feature DVD, with the Mexican horror film NIGHT
OF A THOUSAND CATS (1972). Rated R.
THE
ICE HOUSE (1969) - Rick Martin
(Robert Story) owns an ice house and really loves the ladies. He
takes part in women swapping parties on a regular basis. When a
British woman (the mono-monikered Sabrina, who replaced star Jayne
Mansfield after she was decapitated in a car wreck) smashes Rick over
the head with a booze bottle after he beats up her three boyfriends,
it damages his brain causing him
to halucinate. He wakes up strangling his twin cop brother Fred
(played by his real-life twin David Story), calling him "Tramp,
dirty little tramp!" When Rick spots the Brit at a club dancing
nude doing the latest craze called "The Scrub", he follows
her home, rapes her in the shower (She likes it. It is the 60's after
all) and then strangles her after having one of his halucinations. He
stores her in his ice house after driving around with her in his car
for a night. He goes to a doctor to describe his problems and the doc
tries to convince him to go to a psychiatric clinic. "I ain't
going to no nut house!" is his reply. The Brit's next door
neighbor Kandy Kane (Kelly Ross) reports her missing to police
detective Lt. Scott (Scott Brady, who has very little to do here
besides looking concerned) and gives him a description of Rick. When
the frozen Brit's corpse accidentally slides down the ice chute and
Jan Wilson (Nancy Dow) spots her body he tries to tell her that it
was a pratical joke by one of the employees. She comes on to him and
(yep) he strangles her and adds another body to the ice house. When
Kandy Kane spots him at the nude dance club, she calls Lt. Scott who
tells her to try to keep him there until the police arrive. He again
halucinates, tries to strangle her but is unsuccessful thanks to the
club's owner (Jim Davis, who also has very little to do besides
looking concerned) and some bouncers. He escapes on a motorcycle and
a chase with the police and a motorcycle gang ensues (a hilarious
sped-up fiasco). When Kandy gives a description to a surprised Fred
("He looks just like you!"), he knows his brother is the
killer. He goes to the ice house where Fred finds the frozen corpses
and Rick, who accidentally kills Fred and takes his brother's place.
"Fred" resigns from the police force and takes over the ice
house, free to continue his murderous ways. This relic from the 60's
is highly watchable, due to the constant nude scenes (it was rated a
self-imposed X on release) and laughable dialogue. In the beginning
of the film, when Fred gets caught at a swinger's party that has gone
terribly wrong and the police arrive, he asks the owner of the house
if there is a back door. When she says "No", he says
"So where do you want one?" Director Stuart McGowan
later directed a couple of Tim Conway comedies: THE
BILLION DOLLAR HOBO (1977) and THEY
WENT THAT-A-WAY & THAT-A-WAY (1979, his last film). He
died in 1999. Robert and David Story never made another film. Porn
veteran and aquitted murderer John Holmes (watch Val Kilmer play him
in WONDERLAND [2003]) makes
a cameo appearance as a nude dancer in the club. The print that Something
Weird Video uses for the VHS version is extremely scratchy and
jumpy, but that only adds to the enjoyment value of this film.
Something like this does not need to be in pristine condition to
merit a good review. Enjoy it for its' kitschy charms and
over-the-top acting. I sure did. Also known as LOVE
IN COLD BLOOD and THE PASSION PIT. Not Rated,
but would be considered a very hard R or even an NC-17
if rated today, thanks to the copious nudity and simulated sex acts.
INVASION
OF THE BEE GIRLS (1973) - There's
good trash and there's bad trash. INVASION
OF THE BEE GIRLS
is Grade A trash all the way. They don't make 'em like this any more.
It's got an inventive screenplay (courtesy of future director
Nicholas Meyer [TIME
AFTER TIME
- 1979]), plenty of nudity and a great sense of humor. A government
agent (Big Bill Smith) is sent to a small town to investigate the
death of a prominent scientist who was working on a top secret
research project. Within a short period of time, over a dozen male
townies and scientists at the nearby Brandt Institute are dead from
the same cause. It seems they all have died of massive heart attacks
after balling their brains out! Bill's investigation leads him to
discover that this little town is a hotbed of sexual activity.
Swinging, wife swapping, homosexuality
and other assorted sexual goings-on are as commonplace as taking out
the garbage. Somehow, this is all tied to the experiments taking
place at the Brandt Institute and Bill means to find the connection.
Together with his newfound scientist girlfriend Julie (Victoria
Vetri, whom he saves from an attempted gang rape), Bill find his
connection in Dr. Susan Harris (Anitra Ford). Dr. Harris is
irradiating female town members with bee genes, turning them into
black-eyed sexual dynamos with a penchant for sweets and a desire to
fuck their mates to death. Dr. Harris kidnaps Julie, hoping to turn
her into the newest bee girl. Bill rushes in to save the day,
destroying Dr. Harris' bee machine and putting an end to the sexual
menace. The town is now safe to enjoy kinky sex without the deadly
repercussions. Extremely erotic (due much to genre vet Gary
Graver's
excellent photography), this film should be on every exploitation
fan's must-see list. It contains just the right amount of nudity (all
the women, including a cameo appearance by porno queen Rene Bond,
look great disrobed), humor and, most of all, a good storyline to
keep the film moving at a brisk pace. The screenplay pokes fun at a
lot of issues, including: small town morals, sexual repression, mob
mentality and government intervention. While there's not much blood
on view (it's not really called for here) there is a disturbing shot
of a man being run over by a car and a fist fight. The real meat of
the story deals with the sexual morals of the time (the early 70's)
and how it affects a small town population. Cliff Osmond (the
sadistic guard who gets his fingers lopped off in SWEET
SUGAR
- 1972 and later went on to direct the strange religious film THE
PENITENT
- 1986) appears here as a befuddled police chief. Anitra Ford has
appeared in many exploitation films, including THE
BIG BIRD CAGE
(1972) and STACEY
(1973). Victoria Vetri is best known for her performance as the
scantily clad cavewoman in WHEN
DINOSAURS RULED THE EARTH
(1970). William Smith (GRAVE
OF THE VAMPIRE
- 1972) needs no introduction. Director Denis Sanders also made the
documentary films ELVIS-THAT'S
THE WAY IT IS
(1970) and THE
AMERICAN WEST OF JOHN FORD
(1973). BEE
GIRLS
was also re-released under the misleading title GRAVEYARD
TRAMPS.
Under any title, it's a winner of the first degree. See it! An Embassy
Home Entertainment VHS Release. Also available on VHS & DVD
from MGM Video under their Midnight
Movies banner. Rated
R.
ISLAND
FURY (1983/1989) - This is one
of those piecemeal films that Executive Producer Mardi Rustam (EVIL
TOWN - 1974/1985) foisted onto home video, hoping no one
would notice that there are a few puzzle pieces missing. Guess what?
It didn't work. In 1989, Rustam hired director Henri Charr to finish
his unreleased 1983 exploitationer PLEASE
DON'T EAT THE BABIES and he filmed a wraparound segment
where adults Sugar (Monet Elizabeth) and Bobbylee (Tanya Louise) are
being chased by a couple of guys through the busy streets of Los
Angeles and finally being captured. The two thugs, Willie (Mike
Jacobs) and Repo (Michael Wayne; THE
DANGER ZONE - 1986), bring the girls to an abandoned garage,
where they are greeted by Sid (Joe Lombardo), who takes a keen
interest in the coin necklace around Bobbylee's neck. After slapping
Bobbylee around a few times for refusing to tell him where she got
the coin, Sugar chimes in and begins telling a story about taking a
trip to a strange island when they were ten years old (Cue the 1983
footage!). The pre-teen Sugar (Sheri Oliff) and
Bobbylee (Robin Haden) are on a boating vacation with their older
sisters and boyfriends, when they stop at an island for a little
scuba diving. They meet a boy named Jimmer (Stanley Wells), who is
wearing the same coin necklace as the adult Bobbylee. He tells the
group about a hidden treasure whose location is only known about by
his strict religious grandfather Jebediah (Hank Worden) and weirdo
Granny (Mitzi Stollery). Meanwhile, back in the present day, Sid
makes Sugar and Bobbylee retrace their steps back on the island, with
Willie and Repo tagging along as muscle. Back in 1983, our intrepid
group are invited to Jebediah's mountain cabin, where Granny serves
them drugged herbal tea, knocking out the two older sisters and one
of the boyfriends. Only Todd (Ed McClarty), Sugar and Bobbylee are
left to their own devices when a series of tremors rock the island.
The drugged older sisters and boyfriend wake up in a locked shed and
discover a secret room under the floor, only to find themselves
murdered and cut-up into slabs of meat. Yes, that's right, Jebediah
and his clan are cannibals, eating the flesh of any wayward tourists
who stumble on their island. While Todd tries to deal with Jebediah
armed only with a speargun, Jebediah sends his hulking retarded son
Junior (Jonathan Gravish) to grab the two young girls. As you can
probably guess, nothing turns out the way it's planned, as Sugar and
Bobbylee find the lifeless bodies of their sisters hanging in a meat
locker, Bobbylee is captured and used at bait to flush-out Todd and
Sugar and Jimmer turns against his grandpappy to save the young
girls. Past collides with present when the adult Sugar and Bobbylee
run into the adult Jimmer (Ross Hamilton) and he ends up saving one
of their lives once again, while killing Sid, Willie and Repo. Ah,
the circle of life! What a terrible, horrible film. It's hard
to get excited about a film when the acting is horrendous (the two
girls who portray the young Sugar and Bobbylee are so aggravating,
you'll soon be begging for them to be hung on Jebediah's meat hooks)
and the action is so poorly paced and photographed. Director Henri
Charr (UNDER LOCK AND KEY
- 1995; CELLBLOCK
SISTERS: BANISHED BEHIND BARS - 1995) and screenwriter John
B. Pfeifer try valiantly to salvage a sinking ship, by tossing in
dismembered body parts, a smattering of nudity, some gore and a
confusing earthquake sequence (What the hell was that for?), but this
film has so many plot leaks, it would take a squadron of Hans
Christian Andersons to plug them. Particularly depressing is seeing
excellent character actor Hank Worden (a frequent John Wayne co-star
probably best remembered as Mose Harper in John Ford's THE
SEARCHERS [1956], who finally gets his rocking chair on the
porch in the film's unforgettable finale) starring in crap like this,
but I guess we all have to do whatever we can to put food on our
plates. Verkina Flower, the daughter of late character actor George
"Buck" Flower, was one of the Assistant Directors here.
Also starring Kirstin Baker and Joe Lucas. ISLAND
FURY was originally available on VHS by A.I.P.
Home Video and is now available on DVD from Dark
Sky Films as part of a double feature with BARRACUDA
(1977). Unrated.
ISLAND
OF DEATH (1975) - Lovers
Christopher (Bob Belling) and Celia (Jane Ryall) come to the Greek
island of Mykonos, not to vacation, but to rid it of all
"perversions". Chris and Celia are raging sociopaths and
they begin to kill the island's inhabitants that they consider
perverts while photographing their dastardly deeds. They crucify a
painter for making eyes at Celia, nailing his
hands to the ground and forcing him to drink a bucket of paint. They
slaughter a homosexual couple, gutting one with a sword and blowing
the other one's brains out after making him suck on the barrel of the
gun. The biggest perverts on the island turn out to be Chris and
Celia as we:
Watch them call Chris' mother so she can hear them making love in a phone booth!
- Watch Chris fuck a goat and then slit it's throat after Celia turns him down for sex!
- Watch them both masturbate while viewing their sick photographs!
More
depravity ensues when a private detective comes to the island
looking for Chris and Celia for killings they committed in London.
They tie a rope around his neck and take off in a plane, dragging him
from behind, finally hanging him in the upper altitude. Chris then
sets his sights on an older woman who wants to have sex with him. He
pisses on her (she likes it!), then beats her senseless after she
playfully bites his dick. He completes the job by cutting her head
off with a bulldozer! When Celia is nearly raped by two hippies,
Chris impales one with a speargun and drowns the other one in a
toilet. They then murder a lesbian junkie by shooting her up with a
hot shot and burning her face off with an ignited aerosol can. Chris
then murders another woman by burying a sickle in her chest after
failing to rape her. The police finally get wise and close in on
them. Chris and Celia escape to an old church and then move further
in-country to avoid them. A shepherd (who has been haunting Celia in
her dreams) gives them food and shelter. The shepherd rapes Celia
while Chris watches and takes photos. The shepherd then knocks out
Chris and rapes him (never turn your back
on a Greek!), throwing him in a lime pit when he is done. Celia then
makes love to the shepherd, ignoring Chris' pleas for help. Only then
do we learn that Christopher and Celia are actually brother and
sister, as we watch Chris slowly burn to death as the lime pit fills
up with rainwater......Believe it or not, this obscure piece of total
depravity was the first directorial effort of Nico Mastorakis (who I
guess now wants to be called "Nick" judging by the new
video-generated opening credits), who would never even come close to
this one in any of his future films, including such titles as THE
NEXT ONE (a.k.a. THE
TIME TRAVELLER - 1981), BLIND
DATE (1984), SKYHIGH
(a.k.a. BLOWN SKY HIGH
- 1985), THE WIND (1986), THE
ZERO BOYS (1986), NIGHTMARE
AT NOON (1987), HIRED TO KILL
(1990), IN THE COLD OF
THE NIGHT (1990) and .COM
FOR MURDER (2001). Filled with copious amounts of nudity and
nasty scenes of gore and fucked-up situations, ISLAND
OF DEATH
can only be described as an exploitation fan's dream-come-true. Mr.
Mastorakis blew his wad on this film as he tosses in so many ways to
kill a person that he seemed to run out of ideas for his future
films. Image Entertainment offers a beautiful uncut full-frame DVD
transfer along with a director's commentary and music videos for
three of the songs in the film. The lyrics to one of the songs goes:
"Get the sword. Kill them all!" Kill them all indeed!
Grab this one if you get the chance. You won't be disappointed. Also
starring Jessica Dublin, Gerard Gonalons, Janice McConnel and Clay
Huff. Also known as A CRAVING FOR LUST, CRUEL DESTINATION,
DEVILS IN MYKONOS, ISLAND OF PERVERSION and PSYCHIC
KILLER 2!
An Image Entertainment
DVD Release. ISLAND
OF DEATH is also streaming on Amazon Prime. Not
Rated and
for all the right reasons.
THE
JAIL: THE WOMEN'S HELL (2006) -
This is Bruno Mattei's second-to-last film and if there was one thing
Bruno Mattei (here using his "Vincent Dawn" pseudonym) had
until the day he died (May 21, 2007), it was the sleaze factor. If
you want to see him use it in one of his best films, this is the film
you need to see. As a matter of fact, it out-sleazes most of the WIP
films of the 70's & 80's and does it so easily, it was like
Mattei could do it with his eyes closed. But his eyes are wide open
here and you should really, really purchase this DVD now that it is
available on legitimate DVD from Intervision Picture Corp. in the
United States, uncut and in anamorphic widescreen. And it looks
fantastic. This made-in-the-Philippines WIP flick also contains some
familiar male faces to those who were into action films from the
Philippines during the 1980's. It has something for everyone.
Full-frontal female nudity with women with extremely dark nipples,
sleazy ultra violence (some which goes way beyond the bounds of good
taste), lesbianism, torture, whorehouses, orgies and more things than
a sleazehound could demand. And we know who we are. The movie opens
with a ship motoring down a river, carrying three female prisoners
who are about to be delivered to one of the worst female prisons in
the history of film. The thing is, none of these three women say they
are innocent. Lisa (Love
Guttierrez) was caught for "dirty trafficking for dirty
people". Carol (Amelie Pontailler) says she "Whacked my
pimp. That bastard son-of-a-bitch had it coming!" Jennifer
(Yvette Yzon; the star of Mattei's final two films ISLAND
OF THE LIVING DEAD and ZOMBIES:
THE BEGINNING [both 2007]) says, "I've done everything
you said and even worse!". When the male guards see the ship
pulling in to the dock, one of them says, "Here comes some more
occupants for the House Of Lost Souls!" (The prison's name). The
other guard says, "They can't imagine what's in store for
them!" They are placed on a bus and make the long trip to the
prison, nothing but a mud-caked hell of dirt and barely-standing
buildings. The whole prison meets The Director (Odette Khan), where
she tells the three newest recruits that they are no longer humans,
they are numbers, and their numbers will be #51, #52 & #53. She
also tells her prison guards to pull out prisoner #27 out of "The
Hole" and when one of the guards tells The Director that she is
dead, The Director still wants her to get twenty lashes, as a warning
to anyone else who tries to escape, so they strip the corpse naked
and whip her 20 times as the corpse's back turns into a bloody pulp.
We then watch our three newest prisoners get naked power hose
washings (while the female guards laugh their asses off) and then
examined by 'The Doctor" (David Brass; WARRIORS
OF THE APOCALYPSE - 1985), who uses his fingers to explore
every one of their orifices. They are then handed prison garb and put
in a cell with a half-dozen other prisoners. "Welcome to the
Grand Hotel. Welcome to Hell!" is their official greeting by the
inmates. Jennifer talks to one of the veterans of the prison, Monica
(Dyane Craystan), who says she's been here for an eternity for
"cutting off my old man's balls." Lisa is threatened by a
lesbian prisoner with a shiv and soon Lisa becomes her bitch. Late
that night, the three new girls are pulled out of their beds by The
Director to meet the cruel and powerful "The Governor" (our
old friend Jim Gaines; JUNGLE RATS
- 1987) the owner of the island's whorehouse, who says "Well,
well, well." and makes all three strip, but nothing happens to
them...yet. We see some female returnees from the whorehouse and they
are beaten, bloody and unable to walk. The Director tells the three
new prisoners in front of everyone else that if they refuse to go to
the whorehouse, they will end up like prisoner #27. The prisoners
start a mini-riot when one of the whorehouse women comes back dead
and Jennifer demands to see a doctor. The Doctor appears and says he
will write up a death certificate tomorrow morning for The Director
(You can be damn sure that the certificate will be a lie). The
prisoners dig her grave in the pouring rain and uncover some more
dead bodies in the process (Ones that were probably never reported).
The next morning, everyone's breakfast consists of nothing but a cup
of liquid which is supposed to be coffee and then work removing rocks
from the muddy earth (those that can't carry their load are beaten
repeatedly). That night, Jennifer and Lisa are made to work in the
whorehouse where Mr. Alvarez (Bobby Benitez) beats Jennifer and Lisa
senseless and tries to rape them. Jennifer knock him out (it begins
to look like she not really saying who she actually is). The Director
interrupts the communal shower (plenty of full-frontal female nudity)
when she sees two lesbians going at it, so she gives them to two
males guards to rape the lesbianism out if them. Jennifer is back at
the whorehouse where The Governor offers her a job at a party. When
she declines, she is forced to pick a piece of paper out of a hat.
She is then chained in a room and has to watch a woman tied naked to
a bed by "The Sadist" (Mike Monty; FIREBACK
- 1983; in his final film. He passed away on August 4, 2006 and is
seen in a wheelchair here.). He and a group of men sit around the bed
while a large snake is put on the naked woman's body. They force the
snake to slither up her vagina, as The Sadist and his men watch her
die. Monica is tied between two poles and given twenty lashes just
for being Jennifer's friend, but The Governor says he needs Monica,
so The Director substitutes prisoner #12 instead (another friend of
Jennifer's). Jennifer and some other prisoners dig the grave for
prisoner #12 and Jennifer says she found a way to escape. Too bad one
of the prisoners, Valery (Xeah Atillano) is a snitch for The
Director, who supplies her with a shot of heroin every day and
reports the escape plans. The Governor has some very special plans
for the three new prisoners, as well as some older ones (Monica has
to spend a night in a cage half-filled with water by the dock, where
the corpse of another female prisoner has her face chewed off by
rats). As the rest of the prisoners kill Valery for being a traitor,
Jennifer accepts The Governor's offer and has sex with him (The
Governor says, "You know, you're a pretty big whore!").
This is part of Jennifer's plan for all the prisoners to escape, but
The Governor is aware of it and has a special plan of his own. This
is where the film turns into an ultra-bloody version of THE
MOST DANGEROUS GAME (1932), as the Governor and his male
buddies arm themselves with shotguns and automatic weapons and let
the women prisoners run through the island for one hour before they
begin to hunt them down. The Governor's only rule: There are no
rules. Some native island guides lead The Governor and his men in
hunting the women down. One woman is killed by a swinging spiked log,
while two others are captured and killed (One is hanging from a tree
quartered with a machete up her vagina with a sign around her neck
saying "Your Fate Will Be Worse".) Jennifer pulls the
machete out of her snatch and says that the hunters have made one
fatal mistake: They have given them a weapon. Jennifer and the other
prisoners find the second captured prisoner hanging from a tree, her
body all cut to hell with another note hanging around her. This one
says "You Have No Hope". Rachel (Cristina Castro) is found
by the men and is shot over and over in her extremities by shotgun
blasts, so she's still alive when the men have stopped firing. She's
then gang-raped and killed (This is the highlight of the
film
for me. Yes, I know, I'm a sick bastard!). Lisa gets caught in a
booby-trap that leaves her hanging upside-down. Before they can
release her, Jennifer, Carol and Monica have to run away because they
are being shot at. Poor Lisa is let down, stripped naked, tied to a
tree, has her tongue cut out and than has both of her breasts cut off
(nothing is left to the imagination and this is the film's most
sadistic scenes, as one of the men sucks the blood from one of her
missing breasts). Carol is bitten by a poisonous snake and says she
has to stay behind. Jennifer gives her the machete and Carol feigns
she is dead. When one of the men checks her body, she runs the
machete up his crotch, but he pulls it out and cuts off Carol's head
before he dies. Jennifer and Monica feel guilty and go back to check
up on Carol, but when they find her headless body, they collect the
man's shotgun and handgun and keep on traveling. Monica stays behind
and tells Jennifer to make it to civilization to tell the government
what is going on. Monica ends up killing The Governor with a few
shotgun blasts, but the Director intervenes and says she will be made
an example of back at the prison. They put a black hood around
Monica's head and a noose around her neck, but before they can hang
her, two big black limousines come through the gates and The Director
is arrested. Jessica was a government plant all along and when she
pulls the hood off of Monica's head, she says, "I told you I
would be back." For once the women win, as they clap while The
Director is led away in handcuffs. When Bruno
Mattei passed away in 2007, so did films like this. He was the
only Italian sleaze director still churning out films during the New
Millennium, giving us copious nudity, graphic gore and dialogue as
only the Italians could write it. Sure, a lot of Mattei's later films
were turds, but at least they were made. Better to watch an Italian
turd than an American-made turd because at least you knew with the
Italians, there was no such thing as bad taste. And bad taste is
severely lacking in most American horror films today. We seem to
cater more to the PG-13 crowd than the people who remember when
horror films had balls. Mattei was the last one to remind us of that.
To say he will be severely missed is a huge understatement. When the
Italian horror industry died, Mattei found funding to make horror
films in the Philippines, still keeping the Italian aesthetic, but
using local actors instead. This way I got the best of both worlds:
Italian-made films, with Filipino and expatriate actors I have
admired since the 80's. Thanks for everything, Bruno Mattei. If there
is such a thing as the afterlife, I hope you are living your dreams.
I really pity those who don't buy DVDs anymore. The widescreen
anamorphic print used by InterVision Picture Corp. is flawless and
looked excellent on my Blu-Ray player. If you are deciding to wait to
see this on Blu-Ray, let me ask you one question: When was the last
time a Bruno Mattei film was released in that format? I think RATS:
NIGHT OF TERROR (1983) and HELL
OF THE LIVING DEAD (1980) were the only films if his
released on Blu- Ray and on a double feature disc at that (at the
time this review was written). Never say never, but this DVD looks
excellent, so why deprive yourself? Not for the weak-hearted because
of tons of nasty violence I haven't even touched on in this review.
It has everything (and more) than a sleazehound like me demands,
although films like this are not for all tastes. I think this is the
best of Bruno Mattei's New Millennium films. I've been waiting for
this one to get a legitimate U.S. release for nine years and I was
not disappointed. Also starring Jenny Agwilla, Joana Lee and Vanessa
Bolabas. An InterVision Picture Corp. DVD Release. Not Rated
and damn proud of it. Even if it were to be cut to be R-Rated, it
would only be a 10-minute film!
THE
JEKYLL AND HYDE PORTFOLIO
(1971) - This little-seen sex/horror film opens with a young
woman named Janet (Cathie Demille) being impaled with a pitchfork
while playing on a swing. An on-screen narrator then gives us a
short visual tour on mass murderers throughout history that suffered
from Jekyll/Hyde syndrome. The film then tells the story of strict
disciplinarian Dr. Dorian Cabala (Sebastian Brooks), a 19th Century
physician who runs the Florence Nightingale Institute, a facility
where young women are trained to become nurses. Since Janet was a
nurse-in-training at the institute, Detective John Kirkland (Donn
Greer, also the film's scripter) questions Dr. Cabala and his
assistant, Dr. Leticia Borges (Mady Maguire). Det. Kirkland informs
them that Janet was murdered by a "psychopathic killer" who
left three star-shaped punctures on her body that form some
premeditated pattern or symbol (Like the letter "V").
Hunchbacked institute groundskeeper Moss (Hump Hardy) watches Dyan
(Sandy Carey) and her boyfriend Garr (Duane Grace) making love in a
barn and, a short time later, they are both killed by someone
carrying a sword. The institute's head nurse, Hettie Green (Casey
Larrain), lost her daughter years earlier due to the malpractice of a
quack doctor and she spends most her time abusing or feeling-up the
staff and students. Sergeant Wolf (Gray Daniels) begins
questioning the staff and comes up with an important clue from the
facially-scarred cook (we don't hear it). When Elizabeth (Nora
Wieternik) goes missing and the three-star symbol is found on her bed
written in blood, two other student nurses go looking for her in the
institute's maze-like basement. Moss kills one of the girls and rapes
the other, but Dr. Cabala and Sgt. Wolf catch him in the act and
capture him. Det. Kinkaid is not satisfied that Moss is the
ritualistic killer ("His mentality isn't that of a sadistic
killer. He's an ignorant, poor mute.") and continues the
investigation. Good thing, too, because the killer turns out to be
June (Rene Bond), a former mental patient, who suffers from a split
personality. She kills a few more people (including slicing-up
another couple making love with a scythe) before Det. Kinkaid shoots
her and she falls on her scythe. The narrator then comes back
on-screen to warn all of us that we, too, are capable of carrying an
evil split personality. He then scrunches-up his face and makes evil
gestures with his hands as his double-exposure evil split personality
skulks away. Beware! This short (77 minutes) feature contains
plenty of softcore sex (both straight and lesbian), bloody early-70's
violence (including a decapitation) and dissections of live frogs,
but the production values never rise above that of an Andy Milligan
film, who filmed most of his productions as period pieces so they
wouldn't seem dated when viewed years later. Director/producer Eric
Jeffrey Haims tries the same thing here, but the porn-style sets, bad
post-synch dubbing and amateur acting doom this film from the start.
Director Haims must have thought so too, because his next four films
were hardcore porn: 101 ACTS
OF LOVE (1971), THE SEX MACHINE
(1971) and THE MISS LAYED GENIE
(1973; see the fourth title at the end of this review). THE
JEKYLL AND HYDE PORTFOLIO contains many porn actors of the
70's, including Rene Bond (SWINGERS
MASSACRE
- 1975), Ric Lutz (PRISON GIRLS
- 1972) and Sandy Carey (A
SCREAM IN THE STREETS - 1973) and they all do softcore scenes
here. The funniest parts of the film are the murders themselves.
Before each murder takes place, we hear circus music (the tune that
organ grinders use to play while their trained monkeys stole money
out of unsuspecting audience members' pockets). What the music has to
do with the murderer's motivations is never made clear (I think that
it being in the public domain played a big part), but it's funny as
hell to hear it while people are sliced-up or losing their heads. The
gore is never convincing and primitive (the decapitation looks like a
bloody mannequin head), but I will give proper credit for not
skimping on the blood. This is a threadbare film, but it does try to
be different. The final shot of the narrator making an evil face
(using no makeup) is so unintentionally funny, it's almost worth the
price of a rental or purchase. Co-star Jane Tsentas, who plays
student nurse Joyce, also appeared in the sex/horror film THE
ADULT VERSION OF JEKYLL AND HIDE in 1971. Also starring John
Terry, Terri Bond and Melissa Ruiz. John Kirkland (a.k.a.
"Leonard Kirtman", director of CARNIVAL
OF BLOOD [1970] and CURSE
OF THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN [1972]) was both Second Unit
Director and Lighting Director here. Other 70's Jekyll films include I,
MONSTER (1971), DR.
JEKYLL & SISTER HYDE (1971), DR.
JEKYLL AND THE WOLFMAN (1971), Andy Milligan's THE
MAN WITH TWO HEADS (1972) and DR.
JEKYLL'S DUNGEON OF DEATH (1979). An InterVision (British
PAL) VHS Release. Available on a double
feature DVD/Blu-Ray from Vinegar
Syndrome with A CLOCK WORK BLUE
(1972; also directed by Haims in softcore [DVD] and hardcore
[Blu-Ray] versions). Also available in a limited
VHS release by Massacre Video,
which should be sold out by the time you read this (I still say this
is nothing but a scam to get high prices for the VHS tapes on eBay,
otherwise why offer such a low limited amount? 90% of their VHS
titles are sold out within a day of going on sale.). Rated X,
but a soft X.
JIVE
TURKEY (1974) - I remember
seeing the trailer for this film on some early DVD releases from Code
Red, but that was in 2006 and still no widescreen release in 2015
(the same with FAMILY HONOR
- 1973), so I decided to watch the fullscreen release on one of those
50-film DVD compilations (in this case Mill Creek's DRIVE
IN MOVIE CLASSICS) and I was surprised how good the
fullscreen print looked (especially when there was another film on
the disc). This film fell into the Public Domain years ago and it is
on a lot of compilations, but those expecting an action-packed
blaxploitation film are going to be disappointed. This is more of a
low-budget "day in the life" portrayal of major numbers
runner (and pimp) Pasha (his real name is Hakim, but only his enemies
call him that) and what he has to deal with on a daily basis,
including threats, traitors, being married and some murder. The film,
which was originally called BABY
NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOES (a term
used by gamblers when they play Craps and hope to hit their number),
did poor business, so the distributors pulled it and retitled it JIVE
TURKEY, where it still did poor business at the boxoffice.
This is purportedly based on a true story that happened in 1956
("Only the names were changed to protect the innocent"),
where Ohio numbers runner Pasha (Paul Harris; THE
SLAMS - 1973; TRUCK TURNER
- 1974) is the #1 numbers runner in the city (he also has a
whorehouse, but doesn't cheat on his wife), whom everyone in the city
loves, because he cares about his city, his customers and the people
in general and his crimes are minor when compared to crime boss Big
Tony (Frank De Kova; CAT
IN THE CAGE - 1978), who distributes heroin, mistreats his
hookers and shoots black people for fun (at the beginning of the
film, while the opening credits run, we see two of Tony's goons
machine-gunning down innocent black citizens, like an old lady
carrying her groceries and a young boy riding his bike, as a warning
to Pasha, while Ernie Banks [THE
BLACK GODFATHER - 1974] sings the title song [he also has a
role in the film as "DuDirty"]). Pasha, along with female
companion Serene (who we later find out is actually a transvestite,
played by Don Edmondson), have a meeting with Tony at his Italian
restaurant, where Tony wants Pasha (he one of the people to call him
"Hakim") to turn over his numbers rackets on the southside
of town. Tony warns Pasha that "Chicago runs things now"
and tells Pasha that the Chicago mob has put a hit out on him. Tony
says he will cut off Pasha a slice of his heroin and prostitution
rackets in return, but Pasha says he wants nothing to do with heroin,
because kids in his neighborhood are dying from it. Pasha says that
he will need 30 days to get his business in order before he can turn
things over to Tony and asks him to cancel the hit. Tony then tells
Pasha that a member of his gang is a traitor and reports everything
directly to Tony, so if he does anything behind Tony's back, he will
know it. Pasha then asks Tony to step outside so they can talk
privately, leaving Serene alone with one of Tony's goons. Serene then
slashes the goon's throat with a sharp ring he/she is wearing (we see
a nice bloody wound), Serene comes outside laughing and she and Tony
take off in their car (Pasha never considered turning his business
over to Tony and this was a small payback for the massacre he
orchestrated earlier in the film). The rest of the film finds Tony
running his numbers racket, visiting his whorehouse (he slugs a white
prostitute by mistake when she hugs him from behind and he apologizes
profusely), seeing his very understanding wife (and having sex, the
only nudity in this film) and putting Serene in charge of finding the
traitor. Pasha also takes an interest in young buck Nathan Jones
(Curtis Price); his little brother Billy (Terry Ransom) already works
for Pasha, his betting slips are inside the bags of potato chips,
joking "That boy sure eats a lot of potato chips!" (Both
Nathan and Pasha laugh) and Pasha has his brother Jimmy (Larry
Greene) show the Nathan the ropes of taking and collecting bets
(There's a funny scene between Nathan and DuDirty about an unpaid
payout owed to Nathan, but Pasha takes care of it in his usual
level-headed way). Pasha's #1 man, Sweetman (Reginald Farmer), knows
all the hiding places where people place their bets, like a broken
washing machine, inside a pool table, etc. and makes daily pickups on
the bets. Meanwhile, The Mayor and City Council (who are all coming
up for re-election) want to do something to get them votes, so they
bring in an "expert" to explain how the numbers racket
works and how to get rid of Pasha (Typical meeting banter: Mayor:
"What kind of name in Pasha?" Councilman:
"A nigger name."). Thankfully, Pasha and the white Police
Chief are tight and he informs Pasha about what is going on at those
meetings, but the Police Chief says he has to make a few minor
arrests of his men so no one becomes suspicious of him. His police
force arrests Jimmy in a poolhall (after Sweetman escapes a police
chase by hiding his car in a U-Haul truck), so Pasha's young black
lawyer, Sam Kingston (Henry Sanders; DEADLY
SUNDAY - 1982), proves his worth and gets Jimmy out of jail
before Tony's men can kill him. Pasha gets caught in the middle of
another hit and one of his men ends up dead and another one gets shot
in the leg, but what hurts Pasha the worst is when Nathan is
kidnapped and then found dead and dumped (in front of Billy, who
yells for Nathan to "Get up!") with an icepick sticking in
his neck, a note addressed to Pasha, which Sweetman brings him. All
it says is, "You're Next". Pasha then sets up a plan where
every bad guy will get their due, but only a select few of his people
know the plan. Serene takes two of Tony's hitmen to a motel room
(with an offer of sex, they not knowing that Serene is a
transvestite), where Serene drugs their booze and then beats them
both to death with the sharp heel of her shoe to their faces (the
film's bloody highlight, as we see the hitmen's bloody faces as blood
splatters on the camera lens until all we see is red). Pasha goes to
Big Tony's house, where se says he wants to make a deal. Tony tells
Pasha that he wants him dead ("You've always been a man of
honor, Hakim. Something I never could stand in a nigger.") and
then makes Pasha play Russian Roulette with the gun Pasha left at
Tony's restaurant earlier in the film. It seems Tony filed down the
firing pin, just to see Pasha sweat, but Tony makes a big mistake
when he tells Pasha the the room they are in is soundproof. Pasha
hits Tony on his head over-and-over with the butt of the gun until we
see quick shots of brain matter flying through the air. Pasha's crew
are having a party at Reverend Axle's (Onezene 'Ben' Geyen) house,
not knowing that it will be their last party together. Pasha and
Jimmy are flying to Mexico tomorrow (Pasha also hands over and
envelope full of money to Serene, saying to "lay low", so
Serene changes into men's clothing, complete with bald head, thick
black-rimmed glasses, a nice three-piece suit and carrying a
briefcase and walks outside, where three of Tony's goons are waiting
for Serene to come out so they can blow her away. They see the bald
guy come out and think nothing of him when he walks up to the driver
and asks for a light for his cigar, but when the male Serene walks
away, we hear her distinct laugh and the camera freezes on the three
goons' faces (I quess we know that they realize their time is up on
this Earth). Serene also discovered who the traitor is and told Pasha
earlier. It is Sweetman and Pasha has his men machine-
gun
him down while he is making a call to Tony (who he doesn't know is
dead) in a phone booth. As Sweetman comes stumbling out of the phone
booth with his bullet-ridden body, his life flashes in front of his
eyes and he dies in the gutter. A fitting death for a traitor. The
film then ends with these final words: THE DEAD END. Although
director/editor Bill Brame (CYCLE SAVAGES
- 1969; FREE GRASS - 1969; MISS
MELODY JONES - 1972. He also edited such films as PRETTY
MAIDS ALL IN A ROW - 1971 and BEYOND
THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE - 1979) tries something different
with the blaxploitation genre, the screenplay, by
first-and-only-timer Fredricka DeCosta, is too laid-back for its own
good. There aren't nearly enough action sequences and it plays more
like a character study, with very brief instances of violence every
30 minutes. It also doesn't help that this film is also full of
anachronisms, including in the first shot, where Tony's goons step
out of a 1973 Cadillac and this is supposed to be 1956. We also see
plenty of 70's cars reflected off the windows of store fronts. Also,
one boy wears a L.A. Dodgers baseball cap and the Dodgers didn't move
from New York to L.A. until 1958. We also see the boom mike make
appearances at the top of the screen during the City Council
meetings, but that is probably because the fullscreen print is open
matte and it would have been masked out when shown in widescreen. On
the plus side, there is decent acting by nearly everyone involved and
having a transvestite character being the boss's sidekick was a
ballsy move for a film set in 1956. I get the feeling that Brame was
trying to surprise the audience by revealing Serene was actually a
transvestite when she changed into men's clothing during the finale,
but it is highly apparent that she was actually a he the first time
we saw Serene (The opening credits say "And Introducing
Serene", while the closing credits gives out the actor's real
name, who has never done anything since). Pasha's life is also shown
as being anything but glamorous because, even though he has all the
amenities money can buy, including a beautiful penthouse where he
lives with his mother Mama Lottie (Frances Williams; TOGETHER
BROTHERS - 1974) and beautiful wife named Romaine (Karmello
Brooks), he really has no time to pay attention to the finer things
because he is always taking care of business. I have to say I was
disappointed in the film because all the action in the film is shown
in the trailer, but if your tastes run more toward character
development than action, this film may hold some interest to you.
Just don't watch the trailer first. Production Designer Art Names
would direct the film FANGS the
same years this film was made. Also starring Pat Edwards, Ronald
Ransom, Cal Wilson, Luke Walker, Morris Wade, Howard Mayo and Don
Thompson. 80% of the people in this film never went on to do anything
else. You can find this film on many DVD compilations or as a
stand-alone budget DVD (by at least three companies), but get more
bang for your buck and go for the compilations. The Mill Creek DRIVE
IN MOVIE CLASSICS is the best of the compilations because it
has the widest selection of films I have seen in a 50-film set and
most of the fullscreen prints look good. NOTE: Code
Red has finally released this film (as BABY
NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOES) and FAMILY
HONOR on OAR Blu-Rays. Rated R.
JUNGLE
VIRGIN FORCE (1982) - Screwy
Indonesian jungle film about a female vine-swinger named Jelita
(Lidya Kandou). She saves a group of female tribe members from a
killer crocodile and to show their appreciation, the female members
want to make her an honorary Queen of the tribe, which doesn't sit
too well with the skinny High Priest and the other male members. They
slaughter most of the females, but Jelita and the real Queen get away
(the Queen is tossed off a cliff, but she gets up and dusts herself
off!). Meanwhile, a group of college students in Jakarta have gotten
their hands on a map that will lead them to treasure in the New
Guinea jungle, located in an area called the Triangle of Death. Also
after the map are a group of criminals who try to steal the map but,
time and time again, are unsuccessful. The college kids take a plane
to the outskirts of the New Guinea jungle, where they meet guide Mr.
Bunyon (who wears a yellow hardhat!). He leads them down river
in a canoe and almost immediately end up falling over a waterfall
(some guide!), forcing them to continue on foot. One of the female
college students is captured by the male tribe, who cut off her head
with a stone axe and parade it around on a pole. The crooks are
following close behind and are also captured by the tribe. When the
tribe attack the college students, Jelita swings (literally) into
action, but the tribe kidnaps female member Maya and seriously wounds
Bunyon with a spear to his back (one college kid stupidly asks,
"Bunyon, are you O.K.?" while Bunyon is lying there
bleeding with a big-ass spear in his back). After watching the tribe
consume the flesh of one male crook, Jelita saves Maya and the rest
of the crooks and everyone joins forces against the tribe and the
spiked boobytraps in the jungle. Bunyon recognizes Jelita as the
daughter he lost in a plane crash in the jungle many years ago and
makes the college students promise to bring her back to civilization,
just before he dies. Jelita and one of the college guys fall in love
as the crooks plot a way to get their hands on the map. The
conclusion finds the surviving female members fighting the males for
control of tribe and the college students fighting the crooks for
control of the map. Only two make it out alive. Can you guess which
ones? Unbelievably stupid, but hilarious in execution, JUNGLE
VIRGIN FORCE is laugh-a-minute mindless fun. The male tribe
members are portrayed as bumbling buffoons yet, when they kill other
people, the film suddenly turns very serious and bloody. I especially
liked the scene where the High Priest of the tribe (who can shoot
magical lightning bolts from his fingertips) rewards the male members
he thinks have killed the Queen by growing horns (big-ass horns!) on
the top of their heads! One tribe member uses his horns later on to
gore one of the crooks in the stomach, just before they cannibalize
him. Another hilarious scene has one of the college guys befriending
a male tribe member and trying to make him civilized. He looks at his
penis and says, "Always keep that thing covered up! Do you want
people to think you're immoral?" As with most latter-day jungle
films, there's scenes of real animal slaughter, a female tribal dance
and plenty of stock jungle footage. Curiously, all the female nudity
is optically fogged out, but not a couple of instances of male
nudity. Jelita, who has a monkey sidekick, also has the lamest
Tarzan-like yell you'll ever hear. The film also offers plenty of
bloodshed, as people are impaled by spears, arrows and flying rocks
(!), one female tribe member dissolves bloodily before your eyes, a
guy is attacked by a horde of snakes and the final battle between the
High Priest and the Queen causes a volcano to erupt! Good stuff. Good
stuff. Directed by Danu Umbara (FIVE
DEADLY ANGELS - 1980). Also starring Harry Capri, Enny
Beatrice, Nenna Rosier, Rita Zahara, Jefry Sani, Torro Margens and
J.M. Dansyik. Available on DVD from those thieving bastards at
VideoAsia/Ventura Distribution in a strangely-cropped widescreen
print as part of their TALES OF VOODOO
series (Volume 1). This would make a good double bill with PRIMITIVES
(1978). Not Rated.
THE
KILLER NUN (1978) - I don't
pretend to know anything about the Nunsploitation genre, except to
say that the idea of nuns being sexually explicit and ultra-violent
is a huge turn-off for me, much in the same way that I find
Naziploitation flicks to be in extreme bad taste. But, there are
people out there who love this genre, so it is my duty to be
open-minded and unbiased, reviewing what many people believe is the
best Nunsploitation film in the bunch, so here goes.
The film opens with this scrawl: "This film is based on
actual events that took place in a Central European country not many
years ago." (A cursory investigation shows it took place in
Belgium and that, indeed, this film is based on a true story, proving
fact is more entertaining than fiction). We then see an unknown nun
confessing her sins to a priest in a confessional, telling the priest
that she will never forgive "him" for what he has done for
her. She hates "him" so much that she despises all men and
wishes they were dead. When the priest hears this, he condemns the
nun, telling her she is no longer a member of the Order and that her
next confession should be to God almighty, because no mere mortal
could ever forgive her sins.
We then see a cheerful Sister Gertrude (Anita Ekberg; FANGS
OF THE LIVING DEAD - 1969) waking up everyone at the old age
hospital she works at (it looks more like an insane asylum). She
assists Dr. Poirret (Massimo Serato; THE
BLOODSTAINED SHADOW - 1978) on his daily rounds, treating
the elderly patients, but when she passes a table containing scalpels
and other sharp medical instruments, an evil look appears on her
face. After almost becoming an Angel of Death with an elderly sick
female patient, Dr. Poirret stops her, pulling a scalpel from her
hands. Something bad recently happened to Sister Gertrude (Dr.
Poirret knows, but we are not clued-in...yet) and, oh, she's a
morphine addict! Sister Mathieu (Paola Morra; BEHIND
CONVENT WALLS - 1978) is worried about her, so she sneaks
into the hospital's record room and takes an x-ray of Sister
Gertrude's head. There is definitely something wrong with Sister
Gertrude, because when the elderly patients are eating breakfast, she
pulls patient Josephine's (Nerina Montagnani; TORMENTOR
- 1972) false teeth out of a glass of water and stomps on them,
breaking Josephine's choppers into a million pieces. We then see a
naked Sister Mathieu telling Sister Gertrude that she burned
the x-rays of her skull, so no one will know what is wrong with her.
What exactly is wrong with her (besides being a drug addict)?
The next time we see Sister Gertrude, she is stepping off a train.
She goes into the train station's bathroom and changes from her habit
and other religious dress into civilian clothes, putting her
religious clothes in a locker. She then goes to a jeweler and sells
some jewelry she stole off a recently deceased patient, using the
money to have dinner at an expensive bistro. She comes on to a man
sitting at the bistro's bar, hiking up her dress to show him some
leg. He follows her outside to an apartment building, where they have
sex. The man finishes rather quickly (What man doesn't?), leaving
Sister Gertrude to fend for herself (If you know what I mean). Once
back at the hospital, we see Sister Gertrude stealing several vials
of morphine from the hospital's infirmary, hiding them in her dresser drawer.
The hospital Director (Daniele Dublino; SHORT
NIGHT OF THE GLASS DOLLS - 1971) confront Sister Gertrude
about her odd behavior as of late and she blames Dr. Poirret, telling
the Director that he is too old to be treating patients and that he
should be replaced. The Director says he will take it under
consideration and will discuss it with the hospital's board of
directors, and leaves. Sister Gertrude then injects herself with some
morphine and begins to trip, seeing Josephine kissing an exposed
brain (!) and a naked dead patient coming to life in the hospital
morgue, the good Sister grabbing his penis! Sister Gertrude is
proving herself to being the worst kind of nun, but the worst is yet
to come. A male patient discovers Sister Gertrude tripping and drags
her to a hospital bed and we see a nun beat him over the head with a
metal lamp, drag his body to an open window and throw him out to the
pavement below, making it look like he committed suicide. Sister
Mathieu tells Gertrude that she saw what she did, but not to worry,
because she will protect her. Dr. Poirret tells Gertrude that he has
been called to appear in front of the board of directors, but not to
worry, as he will not mention her "problem".
A short time later, a new doctor appears at the hospital. His name
is Patrick Roland (a badly dubbed Joe Dallesandro; MADNESS
- 1980) and he is there to replace a recently fired Dr. Poirret. One
look on Sister Gertrude's face tells us that she is instantly
smitten. At a game of "Truth or Dare" with the hospital's
patients, crippled patient Peter (Lou Castel; PARANOIA
- 1969) asks Sister Gertrude why she killed the patient who
supposedly committed suicide and by the look on her face, we can see
that Peter doesn't have long to live. During a thunderstorm, Sister
Gertrude, who is once again tripping (or is she?), sees female
patient Florence (Ileana Fraia; DON'T
LOOK IN THE ATTIC - 1982)) having sex with an elderly
patient in a wheelchair (!) and when Sister Mathieu leaves Gertrude's
side, we see a nun stuffing gauze down the elderly wheelchair
patient's throat, making it look like he died of a heart attack.
Dr. Roland finds the man's body on hospital grounds the next morning
and when Florence sees his body, she has a nervous breakdown.
Dr. Roland is smarter than he looks, knowing something is seriously
wrong with Sister Gertrude. When he sees Gertrude making the elderly
patients do calisthenics, he stops her, asking her if she wants to
see the elderly patients die. The look on Gertrude's face tells him
yes. Sister Gertrude is slowly losing her grasp on reality, partly
due to her drug addiction and partly due to her "problem"
(I am close to guessing what it is. Are you?). Gertrude feigns that
she was attacked by someone in the hospital, causing the Director to
gather all the patients and staff, demanding to know who attacked her
and for them to confess, but no one does. Dr. Roland later confronts
the Director, telling him he sees no reason why Dr. Poirret was
fired, because he looked at all of his records and every one of his
diagnoses was correct. The Director fails to mention that it was
Sister Gertrude who made the complaint and we find out why. Gertrude
has something dirty on the Director and she threatens to expose him
if he doesn't go along with her "suggestions". We
then see a nun take the crippled Peter down to the boiler room,
leaving his crutches at the top of the stairs. Peter pulls himself up
the stairs step-by-step while the hospital staff looks for him,
Sister Gertrude and Sister Mathieu stopping anyone from looking in
the boiler room. As Peter makes it to the top of the stairs and
reaches for his crutches, a nun appears, kicking his head until he
falls down the stairs, dead. When the staff find Peter dead the next
morning, they believe he accidentally fell down the stairs, but the
Mother Superior (Alida Valli; EYE
IN THE LABYRINTH - 1972) calls Gertrude into her office,
telling her that someone reported her for murdering patients. Was it
Dr. Roland, who noticed the multiple needle marks on Gertrude's arms?
How about the Director, who is tired of being blackmailed? Or could
it be Sister Mathieu, who tells everything to Dr. Roland and then has
sex with him on a hospital gurney? It doesn't matter, as the Mother
Superior confines Gertrude to her cell while she slowly goes out of
her mind, partly due to withdrawal and partly due to her medical
"problem". The film ends with Sister Gertrude going crazy
in her cell, as we then discover that it was Sister Mathieu who was
killing the patients, not Gertrude. It turns out it was Sister
Mathieu who was confessing to the priest in the beginning of the
film, only this time it is revealed that she is confessing to an
empty confessional.
This slice of Eurosleaze was directed and co-written by Giulio
Berruti, who only directed two films in his career, but was Assistant Director/Screenwriter/Editor
on the films THE
LONG ARM OF THE GODFATHER (1972) and the unclassifiable BABA
YAGA (1973; look for a review soon). The screenplay, by
Berruti and Alberto Tarallo (Umberto Lenzi's MANHUNT
IN THE CITY - 1975), looks at the seedier side of working in
a religious hospital and the weird thing is that it works here. You
will actually believe that the deadly things that happened there
could really have taken place, giving the opening scrawl some
credence. Anita Ekberg is wonderful as the drug-addicted nun who is
losing her grip on reality. We are made to believe she is the one
committing the murders, but watching the film for a second time shows
us that it is all in our minds, as we never see her killing anyone,
all we see is someone in a nun's habit committing the dirty deeds. It
is this artistry that changed my mind about nunsploitation flicks, at
least where this film is concerned. It is filled with many bizarre
sights, as we see someone sticking the tip of hypodermic needles into
an elderly woman patient's face, pinning her eyelid to her eyeball (a
hard scene to watch without flinching), but she can't scream because
her mouth is taped shut. Add that to the scene of wheelchair sex and
many other unusual sights on view and you have a film that would make
David Lynch proud.
Filmed as SUOR OMICIDI
("Sister Homicide"), this film never had a theatrical
release in the United States and I cannot find any legitimate VHS
releases, making its first appearance on these shores as a DVD and,
eventually, a Blu-Ray from Blue
Undergound, both looking fantastic (my review is based on the
DVD). The discs are very light on extras, just a short 14-minute 2004
interview with director Giulio Berruti (who also wrote the screenplay
to RIOT IN A WOMAN'S PRISON
- 1974), who explains the real life story that made him want to
direct this film. He goes on to tells us that Anita Ekberg was a joy
to work with, but Joe Dallesandro was a pain in the ass, only
allowing him one take before walking off the set. I believe it is Ted
Russo that dubs Dallesandro's voice, without his thick New Yawk
accent (watch him in ANDY
WARHOL'S FRANKENSTEIN or DRACULA
[both 1973] to hear what he really sounds like). The disc also
contains a poster & stills gallery and a trailer (which looks
homemade). While I am not a fan of nunsploitation films, I have to
say I enjoyed this one. Also starring Laura Nucci (THE
LONG HAIR OF DEATH - 1964), Alice Gherardi (THE
SISTER OF URSULA - 1978), Franco Caracciolo (VIOLENCE
IN A WOMEN'S PRISON - 1982), Sofia Lusy (CRIME
BOSS - 1972), Antonietta Patriarca (BEHIND
CONVENT WALLS - 1978) and Brunello Chiodetti (IMAGES
IN A CONVENT - 1979) as the man who has sex with Sister
Gertrude. Not Rated.
THE
KLANSMAN (1974) -
Here's a racially-charged 70's exploitation film with an A-list cast.
When a white woman, Nancy Poteet (Linda Evans), is raped by a black
man in Atoka County, Alabama, the town's sheriff, Track Bascombe (Lee
Marvin), tries to keep the peace between the county's black and white
citizens, with disasterous results. It doesn't help that the town's
mayor, Hardy Riddle (David Huddleston),
is the "Exaulted Cyclops" of the local chapter of the KKK
or that a group of black and white protesters are planning a black
voting rally in town the coming weekend. Members of the KKK grab a
black man off the side of the road and castrate him, followed by a
diet of several bullets, one fired by each member of the KKK that are
present. The dead black man's friend, Garth (O.J. Simpson), the local
black hothead, witnesses the atrocity and vows revenge against
whitey. Garth dresses as a KKK member and lures one KKK member out of
his house and then perforates his body with a shotgun blast. Sheriff
Bascomb's best friend, Breck Stancill (Richard Burton), who owns
thousands of acres in the county (his ancestors were slave owners in
the same county), is sympathetic to the black cause and plans on
letting the protesters stay on his land while they prepare for their
rally. As you can probably guess, this doesn't sit too well with the
KKK and the majority of townspeople, who are racist rednecks
(including the women!). When Nancy is considered persona non grata
with the local white population (Even though she was raped, she's
chased out of church during Sunday Services when the parishioners
scream at her, "You slept with a black man!"), Breck lets
her live with him in his mountain home and they eventually fall in
love. During the funeral for the dead KKK member (which is attended
by nearly the entire white population of the county, not to mention
the media), Garth picks-off some more Klan members with a
high-powered rifle, which leads to all kinds of pandemonium. When
Breck's friend, Loretta Sykes (Lola Falana; LADY
COCOA - 1974), is beaten-up and raped by Track's deputy,
Butt Cutt Cates (Cameron Mitchell), Breck finds out that his friend
Track may not be so neutral after all. The question is, which side is
he favoring? In the fatalistic finale, the Klan raids Breck's
mountain home when he refuses to side with the rednecks at the rally.
Breck is forced to put aside his pacifist ways and take up arms with
Track and Garth as they battle the multitude of white-hooded
interlopers armed with guns and torches. In a surprising turn of
events, only Garth is left standing in the end. Man, I miss the
70's. At least we have films like this to remind us how politically
incorrect that decade really was. This film is about as politically
incorrect as they come, even if the script, by Millard Kaufman and
the late, great Samuel Fuller (who was also slated to direct, but
walked-off the project when the studio demanded changes in his
script, specifically Lee Marvin's character, who was originally a KKK
leader and not a sheriff), is peppered with self-righteous speeches
about racial equality and depictions of the Klan as male-castrating,
women-raping thugs. Make no mistake, though, this film's heart is
firmly
entrenched
in the seedier elements of exploitation, as women are raped and
beaten, people are shot and nearly every white male in the town
utters the word "nigger" at least once in every sentence of
dialogue. What I find hilarious is that THE
KLANSMAN was directed by a Brit, genre vet Terence Young (COLD
SWEAT - 1970; THE
VALACHI PAPERS - 1972) and it stars Oscar-winning British
actor Richard Burton as a gimpy, alcoholic Southern landowner who
only gets animated once the "stupid rednecks" kill his dog.
Granted, Burton portraying an alcoholic was not much of a stretch,
but he basically sleepwalks through his role here and his Southern
accent comes and goes, sometimes in the same sentence. Watching
Burton's "judo" fight with Cameron Mitchell, where he sends
Mitchell clear across the room and through a door with a simple slap
to his face, is a thing of unintentional hilarity, though. Lee Marvin
is just as sleepy (both he and Burton were drunk most of the time
while filming and would often get into fistfights with each other
after the camera stopped rolling), so it's up to the amazing cast of
character actors to carry the day. And what a cast: Cameron Mitchell,
David Huddleston, Hoke Howell, Luciana Paluzzi, Vic Perrin (the voice
of "Control" in the original OUTER
LIMITS TV series), David Ladd, Virgil Frye, Lee De Broux,
Jeannie Bell and, of course, O.J. Simpson, who we see is very
proficient with shotguns and rifles (Too bad he didn't use a knife
here. It may have gotten him convicted.). Be aware that the DVD put
out by Passion Productions is edited for nudity, violence and foul
language but, strangely, leaves the word "nigger" unscathed
throughout. The only violence missing seems to be the rapes and the
castration scenes, which makes me wonder: This couldn't possibly be a
TV edit, so just what purpose does this edit serve? The mind boggles.
Paramount Pictures (who released this theatrically) must have liked
what they saw, because they would release and even more exploitative
slave drama, MANDINGO, the
next year, which also starred a Brit (James Mason). THE
KLANSMAN is available unedited on Swedish DVD and is also
available on British DVD under the title THE BURNING CROSS
(the term "klansman" has a totally different meaning across
the pond). Rated R.
KNIGHTS
OF THE CITY (1985) -
This 80's gang drama/musical is like a retarded version of WEST
SIDE STORY (1961), but instead of the Sharks vs. the Jets,
it's the Knights vs. the Mechanics and there's breakdancing and
rapping involved. Troy (an overage Leon Isaac Kennedy; HOLLYWOOD
VICE SQUAD - 1986), the leader of the Knights (who is also
lead singer in the Knight's band, The Royal Rockers), calls for a
rumble with the Mechanics when they begin stealing cars in the
Knight's territory. During the rumble, the police show up and lock up
the Knights for the night, since Carlos (Jeff Moldovan of MASTERBLASTER -
1986, who is also one of this film's fight coordinators), the leader
of the Mechanics, has the police on his payroll. During their night
in jail, the Knights put on an impromptu musical performance (The Fat
Boys and Kurtis Blow, other jail inmates, also perform!), which is
heard by music executive Mr. Delamo (Michael Ansara), who is sleeping
off a night of boozing and driving
in the next cell. He gives the Knights is business card (and his
Visa card, which they don't return!) and tells Troy to come come to
his office when they get out. The Knights show up at his office the
next day and are met by Delamo's daughter Brooke (the beautiful
Janine Turner of TV's NOTHERN
EXPOSURE [1990-1995]), who takes their demo tape and brushes
them off. Trouble is, once Brooke listens to the tape, she likes what
she hears, but has no way of contacting Troy. With her father's
permission, Brooke holds a citywide street music contest. When Troy
shows up to register, Brooke and Troy fall in love, which upsets
Troy's live-in girlfriend Jasmine (Wendy Barry). She goes to Carlos'
hangout (One member says, "Hey Carlos, Troy's nuts are
here!") and conspires with him to bring Troy and the Knights
down. Carlos has the police hassle the Knights and enters Jasmine in
the music competition (that should teach Troy!). Mr. Delamo doesn't
want Troy dating his daughter, which puts pressure on their romance.
It all comes down to the street music contest, where Troy and The
Royal Rockers compete against the city's best unsigned bands,
including "Jasmine And Her Bad Girls". Troy's band wins,
Carlos shoots and kills Jasmine and there's a big rumble in the
finale where Troy teaches Carlos a lesson. Oh, and Troy dumps Brooke,
too! If the whole film looks and sounds like some extended
neon-soaked music video, it because director Dominic Orlando was
responsible for music videos for the likes of Berlin, Kansas, Diana
Ross, Celine Dion and New Kids On The Block. Besides the film being
severely dated with 80's music, dancing, fashion and dialogue
("Sounds fresh!") and having cameos by The Fat Boys, Kurtis
Blow, K.C. (of The Sunshine Band), Smokey Robinson and Deney Terrio
(of TV's DANCE FEVER),
the main drawbacks are a terrible over-the-top performance by
Nicholas Campbell (CERTAIN
FURY - 1985) as Joey, Troy's second-in-command (I swear he
was trying to purposely ruin the film) and an unrealistic view of
streetlife during the 80's. Every aspect of life depicted in this
film is a fantasy, which would be fine if the screenplay (by star
Leon Isaac Kennedy, who also starred in the PENITENTIARY
trilogy) didn't try to convince us that this is the way life really
was (the film's idea of poignancy is showing a streetperson missing
an arm). The music competition is a joke because the only two bands
we see perform are Troy's and Jasmine's (What kind of contest is
that?), as is the final rumble, where everyone uses breakdancing
moves when they fight each other. Believe it or not, this actually
got a major theatrical release and did quite well. But, unlike fine
wine, this hasn't aged very well. It's like looking in your high
school yearbook and being embarassed of the way you looked and
dressed. What seemed appropriate back then makes you say "What
was I thinking?" now. The only good thing about this film is
Janine Turner. Even with 80's big hair and fashions, she's a stunner
to look at. Also starring Floyd Levine, Stoney Jackson, John
Mengatti, Jeff Kutash (also the film's dance choreographer), Sonny
Anthony, Mark Lemberger and Dino Henderson. A New
World Video VHS Release. Rated R.
KONG
ISLAND (1968) - Bert
(Brad Harris), a mercenary, returns to Nairobi, Africa looking for
Albert Muller (Marc Lawrence), a doctor who shot him in the back and
left him for dead during a payroll robbery a few months before. Bert
joins a group of people on safari, looking to bag some type of rare
ape, the "Sacred Monkey". When Bert's ex-girlfriend, Diana
(Adriana Alben), is kidnapped by some apes, he is convinced Albert
is behind it. Bert is correct, of course, as Albert is shown
operating on the apes, putting radio-control devices in their brains
so they can do his bidding. After much African travelogue footage,
Bert and his trigger-happy group have a chance meeting with the
Sacred Monkey, who turns out to be a topless woman (Esmeralda
Barros), a female Tarzan who can talk and control all the animals in
the jungle. She takes a liking to Bert and he's going to need her
help as Albert's henchman, Turk (Paolo Magalotti, as "Paul
Carter"), and the Albert-controlled apes kill everyone in his
group and chase him through the jungle. Bert and Eve (Bert's nickname
for the topless woman) find Albert's laboratory hideaway where they
have one final confrontation and Bert saves Diana. This is one
of those late night TV staples that use to play every other week
during the 70's and 80's before disappearing into obscurity. And
rightfully so. This is about the most boring film I have seen and if
it weren't for the topless, and in one instance, full frontal, nudity
of Esmeralda Barros, I would have surely turned it off. Bert is also
one of the most unsympathetic heroes I have seen in quite a while. He
is only motivated by money and revenge and doesn't seem to care if
Diana or Eve are hurt in his pursuit of Albert. Don't even get me
started on the dime-store ape costumes. The Bowery Boys had better
looking ape costumes in their movies. Movie tough guy Marc Lawrence,
who had been in films since 1932 and later directed the 1972 horror
film PIGS (he died in 2005 at the age
of 95), is badly dubbed here (his voice is distinctive) and looks
rather bored throughout. Retromedia Entertainment has released this
film in two versions on one DVD: The American Version as KONG
ISLAND and the uncut European Version as KING
OF KONG ISLAND. The American Version is shown fullframe and
is missing much of the nudity found in the European Version. But
beware: The European Version looks like it was culled from a Greek
VHS cassette as it looks a little dupey and has non-removable Greek
subtitles. It is slightly letterboxed, though. Director Roberto
Mauri, who anglicized his name to "Robert Morris" for this
release, is better known as the director of SLAUGHTER
OF THE VAMPIRES
(1962). KONG ISLAND is also
known in some parts of the world as EVE,
THE WILD WOMAN and if you want to be bored for around 90
minutes, I can't think of a better way of doing it. Also starring
"Jim Clay" (Aldo Cecconi), "Dan Doney" (Mario
Donatone), "John Turner" (Gino Turini), Mark Farran and
Miles Mason as Malik, the shopworn Sacred Monkey. A Retromedia
Entertainment DVD Release. Not Rated.
LETHAL
VICTIMS
(1987) -
During the 70's & 80's, there was a small subgenre of
exploitation films that I file under the "rape/revenge"
category. Some films that fit into this subgenre include RAPE
SQUAD (a.k.a. ACT OF VENGEANCE -
1974), I SPIT ON YOUR
GRAVE
(1978), NAKED VENGEANCE
(1985), THE LADIES CLUB
(1987) and this one, probably the least-known of the bunch. The story
opens with
Judy Ballard (Lisa London) being savagedly raped on a beach by two
yuppie punks. Her boyfriend is also seriously injured in the attack
and after being treated more loke a criminal than a victim by an
uncaring Deputy D.A. (Frank Stallone) and an understanding (but
ineffectual) cop (GHOULIES'
Peter Liapis), Judy joins a group of former rape victims called W.A.R.:
WOMEN AGAINST RAPE (the film's original title). At first the
group, run by Helen Shaw (Donna Denton), offers classes in
self-defense and group therapy, where women tell their rape stories
(and flashbacks show how they happened with some of the rapists
portrayed by George "Buck" Flower
and Jerry Van Dyke [who strips down to his underwear!]). But, when
Helen is nearly raped by the Halloween Rapist, a masked serial rapist
credited with over 15 sexual assaults, she decides to change the way
her group operates: Take the law into their own hands. Needless
to say, this does not sit too well with the police or Helen's father
Judge Shaw (Martin Landau), as W.A.R. begins getting serious media
attention, giving law enforcement and the judicial system a black
eye. W.A.R. begins making a difference, capturing rapists, branding
their naked asses with the word "RAPIST" and turning their
bruised and burnt bodies over to the police. The more violent rapists
get a more lethal treatment, though. Can W.A.R. give Judy's rapists
(one being a Senator's son) the punishment they deserve and unmask
the Halloween Rapist? Haphazardly directed by exploitation vet
Raphael Nussbaum (PETS - 1974; SPEAK
OF THE DEVIL - 1991), this film jumps around from
scene-to-scene with no rhyme or reason and looks like it was edited
with a chainsaw. Frank Stallone is so stiff (or just embarassed) that
I expected termites to shoot out of his mouth every time he talked. I
also wondered what Nussbaum was holding over the heads of genre vets
Landau, Henry Darrow, Jack Carter and Terry Moore to appear in lurid
crap like this (One rapist says to a victim, "I'll choke you
with my cock!" Classy, huh?). We also get to see Jerry Van
Dyke's naked ass as he gets branded and Don Swayze also plays a
rapist. I bet that both of their more-famous brothers must have been
proud. The only good moment in this film is the unmasking of the
Halloween Rapist and his punishment. It's a corker. Let's just say
that this film is not a good day for the reputations of the stars'
more-famous brothers. This DVD is part of Eden Entertainment's I
WILL DANCE ON YOUR GRAVE series, which also includes Donald
Farmer's CANNIBAL HOOKERS
(1986) and SAVAGE VENGEANCE
(1989) and Tim Ritter's KILLING
SPREE (1987). Eden Entertainment (which was a sublabel of
Magnum Video Distributors and was not associated with Magnum
Entertainment) apparently had no experience in pressing DVDs, as
their print of LETHAL VICTIMS
is a total mess. The full frame picture quality changes from reel to
reel and the sound quality ranges from a hissly low to moments of
eardrum-bursting loudness. It looks like it was ported over from a
third generation VHS dupe. There are other budget
DVDs out there that also carry the film, but there's a VHS tape
of this film from New Star Home Video, under the title DEATH
BLOW, that is in much better condition. Rated
R.
LETHAL
WOMAN (1988) - In this umpteenth
retelling of THE MOST
DANGEROUS GAME, man-hating Christine (Merete Van Kamp) and
her band of female warriors hunt down military men as trophies on her
private island (we see Christine and her warriors dancing topless
around a fire in the beginning of the film, the head of her latest
victim impaled on a stick and his cooked flesh eaten in an act of
cannibalism). We quickly learn just why Christine hates milirary men
when, in an extended flashback, we see her being raped by her
commanding officer, Colonel Maxim (James Luisi), when she refuses his
advances. She brings charges and he is put on trial for court
martial, but Colonel Maxim is exonerated when Christine's Army
boyfriend, John (Deon Stewardson), lies on the stand after being
threatened by Maxim with a not-so-plum reassignment. Not only was her
military career destroyed, Christine also lost her virginity to Maxim
on that fateful day. She has spent the following years killing all
those that did nothing to help her when she was raped, over twenty
men so far and she has saved Maxim (who raped her again
at gunpoint after the trial, just to show her he could) for her
final victim. Together, with right-hand woman Tory (Gene Simmons
sperm recepticle Shannon Tweed) and her squad of female warriors,
Christine (who now uses the name Diana) has Maxim come to the island
under the pretext of a hunting and sex party, only Maxim doesn't yet
know that he's the one soon to be hunted. Christine makes the mistake
of allowing one more military man on the island to be hunted, Major
Derek Johnson (John Lipton), who briefly met Christine shortly before
she was raped. She is unaware that Derek was pulled out of retirement
to stop her from killing any more men. Christine's hatred of men gets
the best of her (she's quite deranged, actually), so when she and her
all-female court of law convict Maxim of rape, she sets him loose in
her jungle paradise and hunts him down with a compound bow, shooting
arrows into both of his legs, poking his eyes out with her earrings
(!) and then finishing him off with a knife to the stomach. She
should have stopped there, because when Derek arrives on the island
and proves to be a decent human being (as well as a formidable
opponent), Tory falls in love with him and begins to see his side of
things. Christine catches wind of it and imprisons Tory in the
dungeon while she and her warriors hunt Derek in the jungle. Derek
manages to turn the tables and takes on Christine (with an assist
from Tory) in a final fight to the death. Although nothing
exceptional, LETHAL WOMAN (originally known as THE
MOST DANGEROUS WOMAN ALIVE) is a pretty watchable
exploitationer, thanks to tons of female flesh (but, surprisingly,
very little nudity), some good location scenery and decent gore and
action set-pieces. I love the way everyone mocks Derek's stature
(they all say to him, "You're such a little guy!"), yet he
always surprises them all with his quickness and agility. There's a
scene where, once on the island (where Derek, and we, learn that all
the women there, including Tory, were raped at one time), Derek
watches a facially-scarred woman take on five other women (including
Tory) in hand-to-hand combat and defeats them all easily with her
cold-hearted demeanor. When Christine tells Derek to take her on, we
expect a good, prolonged fight, but Derek immediately catches her
off-guard with his good manners and knocks her out with a rolled-up
magazine in less than two seconds. This film follows the plot of THE
MOST DANGEROUS GAME (the novel as well as the original 1932
film) rather closely, as we see Christine's "Trophy Room",
which is full of her male victims' severed heads and a prolonged
hunter vs. hunted-turned-hunter finale. Model Merete Van Kamp reminds
the viewer of a less-busty Sybil Danning and the acting by the rest
of the cast is passable, if a little overwrought in places
(especially from some of Christine's female warriors). Like I said,
it's nothing special, but there's some fun to be had if you're a fan
of films in this genre. I've certainly seen much worse. The
diminutive Deep Roy (who played every Oompa-Loompa in Tim Burton's CHARLIE
AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY - 2005) has a cameo as a female
dwarf (!) during an orgy/feast scene on the island. Also starring
Graeme Clarke, Prudence Solomon, Linda Warren, Phillipa Vernon, Larry
Taylor and Adrienne Pierce. Originally available on VHS from VidAmerica
Inc.. Not yet available on DVD. Rated R.
LITTLE
CIGARS (1973) - In the
beginning of this PG-rated crime comedy, conwoman/callgirl Cleo
(Angel Tompkins; THE BEES
- 1978) extinguishes a cigar on crime boss Travers' (Joe DeSantis)
penis and then robs him of all his jewelry and money, making a quick
getaway out of town before Travers' two goons can find her and bring
her back to him. Sporting a short brunette wig to cover her long
blonde hair, Cleo takes a job as a waitress at a rundown diner, where
she meets dwarf customers Slick Bender (Billy Curtis; HIGH
PLAINS DRIFTER - 1973) and Cadillac (Jerry Maren; SIDE
SHOW - 1981), who, along with three other dwarves, Monty
(Frank Delfino), Hugo (Emory Souza) and Frankie (Felix Silla; Cousin
Itt on THE ADDAMS FAMILY
and Twiki on BUCK ROGERS),
put on a traveling vaudeville and burlesque show (it's really bad)
that is nothing but a scam to occupy the audience while the little
guys steal items from their cars. Cleo takes in the show and is quick
to discover the midgets' scam (It takes one to know one) when she
notices that her gun is missing from her car. Cleo and Slick form an
alliance when Travers' two goons, Faust (Jon Cedar; DAY
OF THE ANIMALS - 1976) and Ganz (Philip Kenneally), show up
at the diner and Cleo fires a slug into Ganz's arm (She cracks enough
short jokes to fill a book and Slick reciprocates by teasing her
about her height, but things get serious
when Cleo calls Slick a "dwarf". He grabs her arm and tells
her that he's a "midget" and when she asks what's the
difference, he simply says, "A broken arm".). Cleo has her
car painted a different color and joins Slick's troupe, helping the
little guys bilk money from their hick audience (by picking their
pockets while selling them magical candy bars guaranteed to increase
their sex drive!). Cleo soon grows tired of the nickel-and-dime
action (She tells Slick, "I guess being small means thinking
small. Hell, you can't even steal big!") and longs for the days
of fancy hotels and expensive clothes, so she leaves Slick to find a
"big man". Slick finds her at a bar and beats the crap out
of the normal-sized guy she is with, which impresses Cleo. After they
both rob the bar (and become lovers), Cleo and Slick decide to go
into big time crime and begin robbing establishments with the help of
the other four miniature sidekicks. Their first job is robbing a
garage (late genre vet Michael Pataki [GRAVE
OF THE VAMPIRE - 1972] plays the garage mechanic), followed
by a movie theater heist (which is showing the Warren Oates-starrer DILLINGER
- 1973) and a laundry robbery (where the vertically challenged
quintet use their lack of height to their advantage), with Cleo
donning various disguises as their getaway driver. Things take a turn
for the worse when Faust and Ganz track down Cleo, forcing Slick and
his gang to kill them to protect her. They can all see the writing on
the wall (Cleo is captured by the police, but is rescued by the
midgets), so they plan one more big heist, a bank robbery, after
which they all plan to go on their separate ways. The robbery is
botched and a cowardly Cleo and a pissed-off Slick leave their four
comrades behind to shoot it out with the police while they head to
San Francisco. The finale shows why you should never betray a little
person, as Cadillac, Monty, Hugo and Frankie pay a surprise visit to
Slick and Cleo in their hotel room and teach them a lesson they will
never forget. This comedy caper, directed by Chris Cristenberry
(a director of 70's American episodic TV; this being his only feature
film) and written by Louis Garfinkle and Frank Ray Perelli (who both
also wrote the screenplay for THE
DOBERMAN GANG - 1972), is a fun and breezy genre film that is
not as cheesy or as exploitative as it sounds. It doesn't pander when
it comes to the midgets, as they are portrayed as living, breathing
human beings and not caricatures. They have the same traits as
"normal" people, both good and bad, only they have to put
up with constants stares, height jokes and pats on the head by nearly
everyone they come across (Some of their verbal comebacks are
priceless, though). Billy Curtis is very good as Slick, the leader of
the midget conmen; a gruff, no-nonsense individual who has a
psychological hold on the other midgets and really loves Cleo (And
who couldn't love the beautiful Angel Tompkins, one of the best
unsung actresses of the 70's?). There are some laugh-out-loud moments
here, including a police line-up of midgets and dwarves (one of them
played by Angelo Rossito; DRACULA
VS. FRANKENSTEIN - 1971) and a late night holdup of a
business where the police refuse to shoot the midgets because they
believe they are children! There are also some serious moments, such
as the deaths of Faust and Ganz and the poignant finale, where love
wins out after all. LITTLE CIGARS
(advertised as THE LITTLE CIGARS MOB
on posters and ad mats, but not on the actual film prints) is a
satisfying slice of 70's exploitation, the kind of entertainment they
(sadly) just don't make anymore. If you want to watch little people
go about their business today, you have to watch a reality series on
The Learning Channel or catch them being exploited at a circus. As
far as I can tell, this film (released theatrically by American
International Pictures) has never had a legitimate home video release
in the United States. My copy was sourced from a recording taken from
pay cable station Showtime. Rated PG.
LOST
SOULS (1980) - Here's a Hong
Kong Shaw Brothers production that opens with an impassioned plea for
the plight of illegal immigrants escaping from oppressive Mainland
China to the free society of (a pre-1997) Hong Kong and then proceeds
to pile-on the sleaze for the next 90 minutes. A group of illegals
try to sneak into Hong Kong by swimming to it's shores (aided and
abetted by inflated condoms attached to their bodies!), hoping to
fall into a 72 hour grace period (where the government will allow
anyone amnesty before the mandated October 24, 1980 deadline) and
then heading to the legendary city of Diamond Hill, where life is
prosperous for everyone, only to encounter degradation after
degradation at the hands of profiteers, smugglers and others out to
exploit them. The swimmers, led by Tung, finally hitch a ride on an
overcrowded boat full of other illegals, but when they make it to
shore under the cover of darkness, the leader of the boat people
won't let Tung, Dai Chung and his sister Chuen follow them. That
decision is a double-edged sword, as all the boat people are captured
by the cops (who were expecting them) and our trio is taken in by an
old man and his two sons. The old man, it turns out, is as crooked as
a hillbilly's teeth. He calls-up Dai Chung and Chuen's uncle, Luk
Shang Heng, and demands $15,000 for the safe return of the trio. When
Uncle Heng shows up with only $10,000,
the old man will only allow two to be set free. Tung tells Dai Chung
and Chuen to go, but when Tung has the opportunity to escape, he
takes it. The old man grabs Dai Chung and Chuen in retribution and
locks them in a shed. Tung returns to rescue his comrades, but a
series of events finds Dai Chung getting his leg ensnared in a steel
trap and taken captive by human smuggler Fatty, while Tung and Chuen
are captured by rival smuggler Mr, Hok and his rape-happy gang (The
sadistic Mr. Hok, who is crippled and walks with a cane, is seen
pouring hot candle wax over some poor naked woman's body and then
turning her over to his gang for some rape antics). This is when the
film turns really nasty and unpleasant, as Chuen is graphically
gang-raped in front of Tung (after covering her body in human waste),
Mr. Hok and his gang attack Fatty's camp and capture the illegals
(setting the ones they don't want on fire by pouring gasoline over
their bodies), and everyone is stripped naked (including young
children) on Mr. Hok's orders and forced to watch a young woman being
burned alive with gasoline for refusing to strip. After too much
degradation, rape and torture to catalogue in a simple review, the
captives become the captors and mete out revenge to those that
wronged them (including a torture lifted directly from CALIGULA
[1979]). I'm afraid it ends up badly for everyone involved, as all
the illegals are captured by the police except Tung, who finally
reaches his destination of Diamond Hill, only to discover that it is
one of the worst slums in Hong Kong. Another immigrant dream shot to
hell. While this film pretends to be a serious indictment
against the abuse of illegal immigrants, it's quite apparent to see
that director Mou Tun-Fei (better known on our shores as "T.F.
Mous" of MEN BEHIND THE SUN
[1988] infamy) was aiming no higher than a graphic exploitationer.
Though the film starts out relatively tame, it progressively gets
worse and worse, as director Tun-Fei doesn't forego any chance to
display every exploitative element imaginable, showing both male and
female full-frontal nudity, unpleasant scenes of rape, too much
degradation to keep track of and plenty of graphic violence. The
misogyny in this film is unrelenting, as women are repeatedly raped,
manhandled and, in one case, treated like cattle when a man with a
huge potbelly haggles with Mr. Hok over the price of individual naked
women in Hok's stable, with the agreed-on price of each woman written
on their asses in red lipstick and the final price tallied-up with a
calculator after the bidding is over. It should come as no surprise
to anyone to learn later on in the film that Mr. Hok is a brutal
homosexual (which would explain why many of his male gang members
wear tight short-shorts or parade around in their underwear for much
of the film); his gang presenting him the naked, hog-tied body of Dai
Chung as a birthday gift (wrapped in a white sheet and red bow!). Mr.
Hok wastes no time greasing-up Dai Chung's asshole with Vaseline and
butt-fucking him, which leads to Dai Chung biting Mr. Hok on the neck
and refusing to let go until they are both dead (Hok by punctured
carotid artery and Dai Chung by an extensive beating by Hok's goons).
Instead of being upset, Hok's gang argue about who is going to be the
next big boss! While this is nowhere near as graphic as Mou Tun-Fei's
previously-mentioned MEN BEHIND THE SUN or it's third sequel, BLACK
SUN: THE NANKING MASSACRE (1995), LOST SOULS still
contains a lot of stuff that demands a strong stomach or, at least,
an understanding of the "anything goes" Hong Kong
exploitation genre. You should know by now whether this film is your
cup of tea or not. Starring Yen Hung, Chi Feng, Chen Ming, Chan Shen,
Liang Chen-Ni, Chiang Yang, Yin Hsiang-Lin and Chow Chien-Ping.
Available on DVD in an uncut Widescreen English-subtitled print from
Celestial Pictures/Image Entertainment. Not Rated.
MAD
FOXES (1981) - This has to be one of
the most fucked-up and politically incorrect films ever made. In
other words, I loved it! It's got murder, rape, an overage motorcycle
gang who wear swastika armbands, dubbing that sounds like it was
recorded by asylum inmates, intestine-fondling and swing dancing! Hal
(Robert O'Neal) and his virgin girlfriend are sitting in his Corvette
Stingray at a red light when they are hassled by a balding dude and
his motorcycle gang. Hal speeds off and, in the chase, one of the
gang members is killed when he crashes into a parked car. Thinking
nothing of it, Hal and his girlfriend go to a disco (where people are
swing dancing!), get drunk and leave. In the parking lot, Hal is
knocked-out and his girlfriend is raped by the gang (the bald guy
sticks a finger in her vagina and rubs the virgin blood on her
nose!). The next day, Hal has his martial arts buddies disrupt the
gang's funeral for their fallen comrade and beat the shit out
of them (in one of the lamest exhibits of martial arts ever filmed).
Hal then has one of his buddies cut off the bald guy's penis and
shove it in his mouth! Later on, the gang goes to the martial arts
school, throw a grenade into the classroom and run in, guns blazing.
After killing all the students, Stileto (Erik Falk), the new gang
leader, tortures the teacher for Hal's address and then shoves a
knife in his heart (He says, "Keep my knife as a souvenier and
as a reward, here's a cigar!"). The gang goes to Hal's home, but
he escapes in his Stingray, the gang following close behind. Hal
finds time to pick up a female hitch-hiker named Lilly and then heads
to his rich parents' home in the country. While Hal is out fucking
Lilly in a field, the bikers invade the home and kill everyone
inside. When Hal finds is mother and father brutally murdered, he
vows revenge. He tracks down the bikers one-by-one and kills them all
(My favorite is when he finds Stileto on the toilet and drops a
grenade between his legs as the camera focuses on Stileto's penis
before the grenade explodes!). Hal drives home, only to find the
castrated bald dude waiting in his apartment holding a bomb. It's an
expolsive conclusion. It's hard to put into mere words how
insane and off-center this Spanish film really is. While it's
basically a yo-yo dance between Hal and the biker gang to see who can
get the best of who, it is full of full frontal nudity (both male and
female, with male nudity getting the most screen time) that at times
borders on hardcore and crammed with violence that almost goes beyond
the call of good taste (I dare any man to watch the castration scene
and not cross your legs!). A lot of reviewers compare this to LAST
HOUSE ON THE LEFT (1972), but they couldn't be more wrong.
Where HOUSE had an atmosphere of terror and dread from nearly
the first frame, MAD FOXES
does the exact opposite. The gang of bikers are almost a joke as they
keep falling off their bikes, walk around naked in public or just act
stupidly (I'm sure a lot of it was lost in the crazy dubbing). Even
when they invade the parents' home and kill the gardener with hedge
shears, shoot the cook, machine gun the father, shoot the
wheelchair-bound mother in the head (her chair rolls backwards and
then tips over!) and then eviscerate the maid and play with her
intestines, it's all played braodly and builds no tension at all.
It's all shown matter-of-factly. It also doesn't help that Robert
O'Neal (real name: Jose Gras), as Hal, has the emotional range of a
piece of granite and makes a really stiff hero (he's really no hero
at all). This film is best viewed as a comedy, although I highly
doubt it was made that way. Something got lost in the translation,
but I think we are all better off for it. The violence and nudity are
extreme and the laughable dubbing will make you shake your head in
disbelief. Seek this one out. Directed by Paul Grau (using the name
"Paul Gray") and produced by exploitation master Erwin C.
Dietrich, who worked with Jess Franco on some of his more extreme
films. Also starring Laura Premica, Siggy Helm, Sally Sullivan, Peter
John Saunders and Hank Sutter. A JEF Films DVD Release. UPDATE: Now
available uncut and in widescreen on DVD
from Full Moon Features. Not
Rated.
MALIBU
HIGH (1978) - Low-rent Crown
International production about high school student Kim (Jill Lansing,
who looks at least ten years too old for this role), who is flunking
out of school, her boyfriend Kevin (Stuart Taylor) has dumped her
(Kim: "I thought we had a thing going." Kevin: "We had
a no-thing!") and she blames her mother (Phyllis Benson) for her
father's suicide. Yes, Kim is traveling that slippery road to
Nowheresville. Kim and her best friend Lucy (Katie Johnson) buy some
pot from local drug dealer/pimp Tony (Al Mannino) and go back to
Lucy's house to get high (using a huge black bong) and drunk, where
Kim tells Lucy that she is going to have "all the things my Dad
couldn't" (cue flashback of Dad's suicide). The next day, Kim
goes to school dressed like a hooker (all the boys whistle at her)
and history teacher Mr. Donaldson (John Grant) chastises her for the
way she is dressed ("There were more eyes on you than there were
on the
blackboard!"). Instead of being mad, she hits on him ("Meet
me at High Point after school."), then punches Kevin's new
girlfriend Annette (Tammy Taylor) in the nose in the school
parking lot ("Bitch!") and makes a deal with Tony to become
his newest whore. Mr. Donaldson meets her at High Point after school
and they screw. Kim then sells her body to a succession of men,
fucking them in the back of Tony's custom van. In no time, Kim is
driving around in a brand new MG wearing the best clothes and bribes
Mr. Donaldson into giving her an A (She threatens to tell his wife
about the birthmark he has on his ass as proof of his indescretion!).
She begins screwing all her other male teachers and blackmails
them, too. Kim dumps Tony when Lance (Garth Howard) offers her more
money and a higher class of clientele (not to mention her first taste
of cocaine). Unfortunately, one of her first tricks tries to get
rough with her (with S&M gear), so she kills him with a
well-placed ice pick to his back. Lance decides to turn Kim into a
hitwoman for the Mob (!). He teaches her how to use a gun (she's
good!) and her first assignment is to kill Tony, which she does
happily. After killing her high school principal (you gotta see it)
and moving in with Lance, Kim is assigned to kill Mob kingpin Harry
Ingersoll (Robert Gordon), who happens to be Annette's father. To say
anymore will ruin the feelgood ending of 1978! This sleazy
little exploitation item, directed by Irv Berwick (THE
MONSTER OF PIEDRAS BLANCAS - 1959; HITCH
HIKE TO HELL - 1977) and produced by Lawrence D. Foldes (NIGHTSTALKER
- 1979; NIGHTFORCE
- 1987), is chock-full of nudity (Tammy Taylor has the smallest
breasts I've ever seen on a grown woman), unbelievable situations and
hysterical dialogue. When Kim's mother wonders where she's getting
all her money, Kim says matter-of-factly, "I'm doing relief
work." (I nearly had to change my pants!). The turn the plot
takes when Kim becomes a hitwoman is so off-the-wall and out of left
field (She says, "I'm serious. DEAD serious!" when she
kills her second victim.), that it takes the film to a whole new
level. This is by no means a good film, as it is badly acted, poorly
filmed and looks like it was edited with a chainsaw, but it is
unusual and unintentionally funny, such as the scene where she gives
the elderly hard-of-hearing high school principal, Mr. Elmhurst (John
Harmon), a heart attack (Mr. Donaldson tells Kim, just before she
goes to the principal's office, "You can screw the teachers, but
you can't screw the school!"). She lures the Mr. Elmhurst to her
home, steals his heart medication and then shoves her breasts into
his face, causing him to stroke out and die (She says to him as he's
lying there dying on the floor, "Don't I derserve an A now,
sir?"). This may be an awful film, bit it is an entertaining
awful film. Also listen for the theme song from THE
PEOPLE'S COURT playing in the background during the climatic
chase. The director's son, Wayne Berwick (MICROWAVE
MASSACRE - 1978), handled the sound recording. Foldes' YOUNG
WARRIORS (1983), originally known as THE
GRADUATES OF MALIBU HIGH, is a semi-sequel to this.
Originally released on VHS by VCI
Home Video in the early 80's. It's available on a double
feature DVD from the now-defunct BCI with the film TRIP
WITH THE TEACHER (1974). Also available as part of a double
feature DVD for the first time in its original aspect ratio from Scorpion
Releasing with HUSTLER
SQUAD (1976) Rated R. They sure don't make 'em like
this anymore!
MAMA'S
DIRTY GIRLS (1974) - You know
from the opening shot, where a topless Becky (Candice Rialson; PETS
- 1974) starts feeling herself up while looking in a mirror, that MAMA'S
DIRTY GIRLS is going to be something special. It turns out
that Becky is nothing but a cocktease, strutting around in a white
bikini, tempting and tormenting stepdaddy George (John Dennis) until
he nearly rapes her, but is stopped when Becky's mother, Mama Love
(Gloria Grahame; THE NESTING -
1980), catches him in the act. Mama Love shames George into writing a
letter confessing his sins and then has Becky drug his drink and lure
him into the bathroom, where Mama Love, Becky and sister Addie
(Sondra Currie; POLICEWOMEN
- 1974) hold him down in a bathtub and slit his wrists with a strait
razor. They make it look like a suicide by placing the confessional
letter he just wrote next to the blood-filled tub. Mama Love and her
girls, which also includes naïve step-sister Cindy (Mary
Stoddard), are in for a rude awakening when they discover that George
was actually flat-broke (When Mama Love
finds out that George was only renting the huge home they were
living in, she tells her girls, "Remember, a man is only a man,
but property is security!" A wise, wise woman.), so they now
have to find another rich man to take advantage of and, eventually,
murder. We then switch over to Sheriff Roy Collins (Christopher
Lofton, here billed as "Christopher Wines"), who we first
see screwing his wife Charity (Annekade de Lorenzo) and the demanding
a divorce (!), as he pulls Mama Love and her girls over for speeding.
He talks them into staying in his dinky little town (Roy and Addie
immediately make eye contact) and has them stay at a health resort
run by widower Harold (Paul Lambert). When Mama Love finds out that
Harold is well off ("Oh, a man of property!"), the
overnight stay turns into an extended one. Mama Love puts the moves
on Harold, while Addie and Roy hook-up, Cindy meets nice guy Paul
(Dennis Smith) and Becky cockteases Willy (Joseph Anthony), the
hulking, halfwit groundskeeper. Complications arise when Mama Love
marries Harold, not realizing that Harold is actually a cold-blooded
killer. Not only did he drown his first wife and make it look like an
accident, we watch as he also kills a hobo with an axe after the hobo
tells Harold that he saw him murder his wife. What happens next is
far too complex to explain in a short review. Needless to say, people
get their comeuppance, a fortune in hidden jewels comes into play and
nearly everyone has sex. This totally entertaining
sexploitation flick, directed with a sure hand by John Hayes (THE
CUT-THROATS -
1969; DREAM
NO EVIL - 1970; GRAVE
OF THE VAMPIRE - 1972; GARDEN
OF THE DEAD - 1972; and who also directed porn features,
such as HOT LUNCH [1978],
under the name "Harold Perkins") and written by Gil Lasky,
who also produced (with then-partner Ed Carlin; THE
NIGHT GOD SCREAMED - 1971; THE MANHANDLERS
- 1973), is a fun, sexy thriller that contains so much nudity and
sex, you'll think you've died and gone to Heaven. Half the fun of
this film, though, is watching Harold and Mama Love trying to kill
each other in a series of staged "accidents", neither of
them aware that the other is actually a cold-blooded murderer. As a
matter of fact, no one here, with the exception of Cindy and Paul,
can be considered remotely sympathetic in any way. Addie and Roy
murder Charity so they can be together and pin the crime on Paul;
Becky does her bikini tease routine on Willy one too many times until
he can't stand it anymore (Hey, even mentally-challenged morons need
some nookie every now and then!); and Mama and Harold continue their
love/hate relationship. One gets the feeling when watching this that
Gloria Grahame is slumming here, much like she did in the
Carlin/Lansky production BLOOD
AND LACE (1970), but she's still a hoot-and-a-half to watch,
doling out nuggets of hilarious wisdom to her daughters ("It's a
hard world for a girl and sometimes to survive, we gotta play dirty,
because, sure as hell, a man will play dirty with us!") and
doing whatever it takes, including putting her daughter's lives in
danger, to get her way. While not overly violent or bloody, MAMA'S
DIRTY GIRLS is a sleazy, wild foray into 70's sexploitation,
the kind of film you wish they still made today. Be aware that the
closing credits misidentify Dennis Smith as "Roy" rather
than "Paul". Originally released on VHS by Trans
World Entertainment, Inc. and not available on DVD. Rated R
for raunchy, randy and raucous.
THE
MANHANDLERS (1973) - 70's
exploitation flick that mixes gangsters with sex. After her Uncle Leo
(George Skaff) is gunned-down and killed by gangster Carlo (Henry
Brandon; THE LAND UNKNOWN
- 1957), naïve Katie (Cara Burgess) inherits Leo's massage
parlor/prostitution business along with a briefcase containing a
bunch of incriminating 8-track tapes which Carlo is eager to get his
hands on. After visiting the massage parlor, Katie is horrified at
the sex acts going on in the back rooms and fires everyone on the
spot. Katie hires two female friends, Liz (Judy Brown; THE
BIG DOLL HOUSE - 1971) and Mo (Rosalind Miles; THE
BLACK SIX - 1974), to help her reopen the business as a
legitimate massage parlor, with no intentions of prostitution. Carlo,
who believes Leo had a secret partner, becomes agitated that Katie's
massage parlor is no longer under his control, so he sends associate
Frank (Vince Cannon; TRACKDOWN
- 1976) to check it out and get Katie to sign over the business. It
becomes apparent to the viewer that Katie and Frank will soon become
lovers, as they instantly don't hit it off when they first meet. Carlo,
meanwhile, starts killing anyone previously associated with Leo,
including his lawyer Ratchit (G.J. Mitchell) and former massage
parlor madam Violet (Arleen Sinclair) as he searches for the
audiotapes. Carlo gives Frank one week to bring Katie in line or else
he will deal with it in his usual violent manner. Unfortunately for
Frank, Katie's massage parlor becomes a smashing success and turns a
good profit, so Katie makes Liz and Mo equal partners. Frank and
Katie become romantically involved, which puts Frank in quite the
pickle, because Godfather Vito (Dan Seymour) orders Carlo to make
Katie's business part of his stable immediately, so Carlo sends
violent goon Harry (Wayne Storm) to bust up the joint (he also gives
Liz a painful bear hug!). When Katie finally listens to the
audiotapes and discovers that Frank is a mobster, she breaks off the
romance. Carlo goes off to kill Katie while Harry holds Frank
prisoner. Frank breaks free and tries to save Katie, but the police
grab him for questioning (When Frank gives a statement, he says,
"You, Detective Buckley, are an ignorant clown that doesn't know
his ass from his earlobe!" Detective Buckley replies, "You
can't say 'ass' in court!"). Frank drops a dime on Carlo to Vito
(it seems Carlo broke the Mafia's code of "omerta")
and ends up saving Katie's life when Vito's goons stop Carlo from
strangling her in an amusement park. The final shot will tempt you to
kick-in your TV screen because it is so devoid of logic. This
sexploitation item, directed by Lee Madden (THE
NIGHT GOD SCREAMED - 1971; NIGHT
CREATURE - 1978; GHOST FEVER
- 1986) and written by Gil Lasky (who also produced with then-partner
Ed Carlin, both responsible for producing the previously-mentioned GOD,
as well as BLOOD AND LACE
[1970] and MAMA'S DIRTY GIRLS
[1974]), is chock-full of both male and female nudity and some bloody
violence, but the film is technically sloppy. The very first scene in
the film, during the face-off between Leo and Carlo, Leo mistakenly
calls Carlo "Leo" in a line of dialogue. It's a glaring
error that could have easily been fixed with a bit of looping. There
are also camera and microphone shadows in several scenes. The film
also spends too much of it's 87 minute running time detailing the
individual personal lives of the three female characters and not
enough time on the crime aspects. While these scenes give the ladies
an excuse to disrobe (always a good thing!), the plotlines are
boring, from Liz's relationship with disinterested painter Gavin (Tom
McDonald), Mo's affair with shy, skinny black customer Elliot (Peter
Fitzsimmons) and Katie's romance with Frank. There are a few
redeeming scenes, especially Carlo's cold-blooded reactions to all
those he perceives as his enemies, but more often than not, this film
just plods along to it's completely unrealistic conclusion, where
Godfather Vito sides with Katie and decides to turn all his
whorehouses into legitimate massage parlors! C'mon now! Does he have
Alzheimer's? If you like nudity, THE
MANHANDLERS may be of some interest, but there are much
better 70's sexploitationers out there, such as INVASION
OF THE BEE GIRLS (1973), which this film shared a
double-bill with throughout much of the 70's. Also starring Herb
Voland, Wade Crosby, William Smillie (in a funny bit as a fat, old
horny gent who wants more than a massage) and William Molloy as the
clueless Detective Buckley. Originally released on VHS by Trans
World Entertainment and not yet available on DVD. Rated R.
MASSAGE
PARLOR MURDERS! (1973/1974) -
There's not much more background information on this obscure
exploitation film that hasn't been written by genre expert Chris
Poggiali in the booklet included in Vinegar Syndrome's Blu-Ray/DVD
combo pack (If you haven't visited Chris' excellent Temple Of Schlock
blogzine, click HERE,
but be prepeared to spend hours and hours reading it, because Chris
has more knowledge about obscure films than anyone, including me,
could ever hope to achieve), but I have been dying to see this film
because it is the only flick that I haven't seen that features
Brother Theodore (but more on that later on). The film open with an
apprehensive man (played by co-director Chester Fox) paying a massage
parlor chick money for an actual massage and then slipping her a
couple of twenties to take off her top and shorts. He can't go
through with having sex with her because he feels guilty about
cheating on his wife, so he leaves. The credits then roll (You know
you are in for something special when the first credits to appear on
screen are "A Cinamid 'Flim' Production"!) and we then see
New York City Detective Jimmy Rivera (George Spencer) just after
having sex with a pretty massage girl and getting dressed, then
meeting his partner, Detective Danny O'Mara (John Moser), downstairs
in their unmarked police car. Jimmy then goes home to his religious,
strait-laced wife, who complains when Jimmy puts his gun on the
kitchen table (Being a good wife, though, the first thing she does is
hand him a can of Budweiser!). A short time later, that same massage
girl is murdered by an unseen john wearing latex gloves. He smashes
her face into a mirror and strangles her. Jimmy and Danny investigate
the murder and discover that the victim is Jimmy's weekly hooker
date. Danny goes to meet the dead hooker's roommate Gwen (Sandra
Peabody, a.k.a. "Sandra Cassel" of LAST
HOUSE ON THE LEFT - 1972), who tells Danny that all she does
is give massages with no sex and it is love at first sight (Check out
the wallpaper in Gwen's apartment!). Gwen tells Danny that her
roommate had a weekly session with a man she called "Mr.
Creepy" (a surprising early appearance by the great character
actor George Dzundza, who starred in the first season of TV's LAW
& ORDER [1990 - 1991] and was also Assistant Director of
this film) and that after coming home after meeting him, her roommate
was full of bruises. After getting his real name from the dead
roommate's datebook, Jimmy and Danny stake him out and chase him when
they spot him following a woman walking on the street. Jimmy kicks
the shit out of him, but just as they are about to arrest him, they
get a call on the radio that another massage girl (from a different
parlor) has been killed, this time asphyxiated and having acid poured
on her breasts and stomach by the same psycho. All the men who
handled the psycho's money before he supposedly had sex with the
girls can only describe him as a well-dressed man with no
distinguishing features. Jimmy and Danny visit a crazy astrologist
who they think could be the murderer (played by wacky [and personal
favorite] Brother Theodore [DEVIL'S
EXPRESS - 1975; GUMS
- 1976], who says such nonsense things as, "It is more important
to go to Heaven than to go to the Moon!", "When I listen to
rock and roll, my ears bleed!" and "It is my sincere wish
that immediately after my death, my head be severed from my body and
replaced by a bouquet of broccoli!"), but they cross him off
their suspect list when he tells them he was being treated in the
hospital for ulcers at the time of the murders. More massage girls
are murdered (one is strangled with a towel) from different parlors,
while Danny and Gwen continue their romance, first going to a nude
indoor pool orgy (with surprising full-frontal male nudity), having a
picnic in the park and walking through Times Square (where we can see
posters and theater marquees for such films as SEVEN
GOLDEN MEN [1965], BLOOD
OF DRACULA'S CASTLE [1969], THE
YOUNG SEDUCERS [1971], PRIME CUT
[1972], the big-budget musical flop LOST
HORIZON [1973], HIGH
PLAINS DRIFTER [1973] and many others). While Jimmy and his
wife are at church listening to a priest preach about the Seven
Deadly Sins, it hits Jimmy that all the massage parlors that the
girls have been murdered in have the name of one of those sins (I
wonder if the writers of SE7EN
[1995] saw this film?) and the word "Lust" is next on the
list. They go to a massage parlor with that word in their title, only
for Danny and Jimmy to discover that Gwen has been brutally murdered,
her throat cut and her body hanging upside down. They then go to the
next massage parlor on the list, where the religious fanatic killer
is about to murder the same hooker we saw in the beginning of the
film with the apprehensive man, but she manages to throw a bowl of
rubbing alcohol on him and sets him on fire. As Jimmy and Danny bust
down the door, all they see is the killer being burned alive (Jimmy
pumps a couple of bullets into him just for the hell of it), his
flaming hand sticking up in the air as he screams his last
breath. While not a good film by any stretch of the
imagination, MASSAGE
PARLOR MURDERS! (later retitled MASSAGE
PARLOR HOOKERS; it plays for many years under that title on
double and triple bills up till the mid-80's), it is a great time
capsule for old fogeys like me who remember when Times Square was
littered with porn (and normal) theaters, adult book stores and
hookers as far as they eye could see. This area was destroyed in the
mid-80s when the Walt Disney Corporation "regentrified"
Times Square as a family-friendly zone. Not much remains of its
original gritty glory, so watching this film brought back many fond
nostalgic memories. While co-director Chester Fox hasn't done
anything of note as far as genre films go (this is his only film),
other co-director Alex Stevens is a well-known stuntman, stunt
coordinator and bit actor, working on such films as WHO
KILLED MARY WHATS'ERNAME? (1971), THE
DION BROTHERS (1974),
INVASION
U.S.A. (1985) and THE HIDDEN
(1987), although this film was his only directorial effort. Stevens
was responsible for directing the film's lengthy car chase (where
Danny, clad only in a towel, steals a cab and chases a suspect,
strikes several cars and then smashes the cab, only to discover that
the man he is chasing is not their man [but he had two kilos of
herion in his car, so Danny is off the hook!]), the pool orgy and
Danny and Gwen's walk through Times Square. As per Chris Poggiali's
liner notes, it is obvious that some of these scenes were filmed
sometime in early 1974, even if the film was submitted to the MPAA
for an R-Rating in September 1973. The pool scene alone would
absolutely negate the film's R-Rating (especially if they included
the outtakes that are part of the combo pack's supplements, most
notably the scene of a man with a semi-hard erection!), but they
didn't bother resubmitting the film and it went out with an R-rating
without any complaints from the audiences. The print that Vinegar
Syndrome uses for the transfer is in generally good condition, with
only a few grainy scenes, but is is not enough to distract you like
the terrible print they used for their release of THE
SUCKERS (1972). There is not much blood or gore on view (the
first kill and Gwen's death are the bloodiest, showing that nice
bright red blood that was used during the 70's), but the film doesn't
need it. It has a general air of sleaziness that could only have come
from those sexploitation films of the 70's and that's enough for me.
It also completes my quest to see every film the late Brother
Theodore appeared in (fans of David Letterman's Late Show remember
his guest appearances as offbeat and hilarious and I was lucky enough
to see his one man Off-Broadway show when I was younger), unless
there is some unknown hidden gem that I have never heard of. Who
knows, it may be out there somewhere waiting to be discovered in
someone's attic or basement. Also starring Anne Gaybis, Marlene
Kallevig and Chris Jordan. A Vinegar
Syndrome Blu-Ray/DVD Release, who offer the film in two
versions: The original 80-minute version and the edited 74-minute
version, which cuts out the first six minutes of co-director Chester
Fox with the massage parlor girl/hooker. The 74-minute version is the
one that played for years and years in theaters, so it's nice to see
the original version was also included. Nice job Vinegar Syndrome! Rated
R.
MASTER'S
REVENGE (1970) - Say, would you
like to be bored for 70+ minutes, watching endless scenes of people
walking or driving down the street? Then have I got the film for you!
Bored spoiled brat Kathy (Sharon Mahon, daughter of sexploitation
pioneer Barry Mahon, who was Director of Photography here) has an
argument with karate champ boyfriend Jim Aldridge (Ridgley Abele) and
runs off with eyepatch-wearing Champ (Ross Kananga) and his
motorcycle gang. Kathy drops acid while her father (director Brad F.
Grinter) hires private investigator Roger Kimbrough ("My friends
call me Kim.") to find her. Dad tells Kim the heartbreaking
story about how his other daughter Penny turned into a prostitute and
how he doesn't want to see Kathy follow the same path. While Kim
scours bars and adult arcades (Where we see a sign that reads:
"Live Burlesk On Stage - Sonya Lane - Wild Nude Movies")
looking for Penny, since she was close to Kathy and may have a clue as
to where she is, Kathy watches as biker chick Dixie (Patty Scanlon)
kills another woman in a fight (When another biker asks Champ what
they should do with the body, he replies, "Hell, I don't know.
Find some quicksand, throw her in!"). Kim finds a drunk Penny in
a bar (She says, "Here's to booze. The evil of all roots!")
and she takes him to a motel room, where Kim pays her $100 to tell
him the sad story of how she became a hooker (Flashbacks show us how,
on her 18th birthday, she took a ride with a biker and was gang-raped
in a mountain cabin by a guy named Playboy and his pals, busting her
cherry.). In the film's unintentional comedic highlight, Kim decides
to go undercover and infiltrate the biker gang (he's at least 20
years too old) after getting a tip from Jim, who use to be a biker
before he changed his ways and started living the proper life as a
karate champion. Kim borrows a motorcycle, puts on a ridiculous
hippie wig and rides up to the gang. He tries to say something hip
and immediately gets caught by the gang. Champ ties him to a tree
while his gang pokes him with sharpened sticks while riding by him on
their motorcycles. Jim rides in and saves Kim from a certain death
and they then try to save Kathy from being gang-raped (Kim threatens
the gang with a coral snake!). The finale finds Jim challenging old
nemesis Champ to a one-on-one fight, the winner getting Kathy. Jim
wins, but gang member Sarge (Chris Martell) knifes him in the gut in
retribution, killing him. The gang leave as Kathy cradles the dead
body of Jim in her arms. My God, this was a tough one to make
it through. Director Brad F. Grinter, who also gave us the supremely
bad FLESH FEAST
(1969) and the badly-supreme BLOOD
FREAK
(1972), also co-produced and co-scripted (with Charles G. Ward) this
mess and employs a headache-inducing editing technique, where he
quick-cuts back and forth between shots. It's quite disorienting and
unnecessary. This Florida-lensed obscurity, originally titled DEVIL
RIDER, has very little entertainment value (it has only one
instance of nudity and the fight scenes look to have been
choreographed by someone with no experience in where to place a
camera when a punch is thrown, as we can see the actors miss their
target by feet, not inches), unless all you are interested in are
late 60's fashions, haidos and a lousy rock band called "Heros
Of Cranberry Farm" (a band so low-rent, the couldn't afford the
"e" in "Heroes"), who play a tune in the middle
of a field at the beginning of the film. Even though there are
microphones on the stage, all they do is play an instrumantal tune
(which doesn't match what they're playing on-screen). Just more
filler in a film full of filler. During Penny's flashback gang-rape,
the camera pays more attention to two little gold-colored cherubs
hanging on the wall than it does to the rape itself. I supposed it
could be viewed as ironic symbolism, but I doubt that Grinter ever
aimed that high in any of his films. This film's message seems to be
that if you're raped, you'll spend the rest of your life as a cheap
hooker. Or, as Penny says, "I'm a hooker. W-H-O-R-E!". The
film's ad campaign promised, "Cool Chicks and Burning
Rubber!", but all we really get is skanky broads and a definite
smell of crap. Also starring Wayne Hagan, John Donnell, Wes Dunbar
and Ernie Falco. An Academy
Entertainment Home Video Release. Rated R.
THE
MUTHERS (1976) - The Muthers are
two female pirates, Kelly (Jeanne Bell; TNT
JACKSON - 1975) and Angie (Rosanna Katon; THE
SWINGING CHEERLEADERS - 1974), who lead their all-male crew
robbing and plundering pleasure cruises and yachts of their goodies
on the high seas ("Muthers" is also the name of their
pirate vessel, a three outboard motor-powered speedboat equipped with
stationary machine guns and mortars). When Kelly's sister, Sandra,
runs away from home, Kelly and Angie set out to the island of Santo
Domingo in search of her. After getting into a bar fight, Kelly and
Angie are informed by a government official that Kelly's sister was
kidnapped by white slaver Montiero (Tony Carrion), who kidnaps
unescorted women, holds them prisoner on his coffee plantation and
uses them as slave labor (among other things). Kelly and Angie agree
to go to Montiero's plantation as undercover prisoners in return for
the government looking the other way regarding their pirate
activities. Once on the prison plantation, Kelly and Angie meet
prison trustee Marcie (Trina Parks; DARKTOWN
STRUTTERS - 1974), who clues them into the rules of the
plantation. Marcie also informs Kelly that Sandra escaped from the
plantation two days earlier and has not been caught...yet. The girl
that Sandra escaped with is caught and everyone watches as Montiero
has her strung-up by her hair with her hands tied behind her back.
Montiero's mistress, Serena (Jayne Kennedy; FIGHTING
MAD - 1978), who use to be a prisoner on the plantation,
slowly becomes friends with Kelly and secretly begins helping Kelly
and Angie escape, especially after they unsucessfully try to escape
on their own and end up in a hot box (not to mention getting Kelly's
adoptive father killed when he tries to help them escape). As if
things weren't tough enough for them, Kelly and Angie's old nemesis,
the dreaded pirate Turko (John Montgomery), is on the warpath and is
killing all their friends and associates on the outside as he tries
to find out their location. When Sandra is recaptured and killed,
Kelly makes it her mission to make sure Montiero pays for it with his
life. Kelly, Angie, Marcie and Serena escape from the plantation
(Marcie is bitten on the breast by a cobra during the escape and
Serena sucks out the poison), but it all turns out to be a set-up by
Serena and Montiero. The girls still manage to escape and hook-up
with their pirate crew, where they get into a gun battle with
Montiero and his guards. When Turko and his crew suddenly appear,
it's a free-for-all that many will not survive. This strange
mixture of WIP (women in prison) and pirate themes comes courtesy of
Filipino director/producer Cirio H. Santiago and, quite frankly, it
doesn't make for a good mix. For a film that spends much of it's time
at an all-female coffee plantation/prison, there is precious little
nudity (just an all-too-quick prerequisite shower scene when the
girls arrive at the plantation). What we do get is plenty of scenes
where our two heroines get into lots of hinky martial arts fights and
it's rather obvious that stunt doubles were utilized most of the
time. There's also far more dialogue than usual for a Santiago film
(script by Cyril St. James, from a story by Santiago, who uses the
pseudonym "Leonard Hermes") and precious little action.
While it is a pleasure to watch four beautiful actresses play off of
each other, Santiago never fully takes advantage of putting them in
truly exploitative situations, like long naked showers, catfights
and, most importantly, long naked showers. While the final gun battle
is violent (Jayne Kennedy's death on a suspension bridge is
memorable), it takes forever to get there (the film's running time of
82 minutes seems twice as long). I get the feeling that Santiago was
slumming here, as he really doesn't seem to have his heart in this
film. This film just rambles along and is full of so many missed
opportunities (like long naked showers), I just wanted to cry. I
expected more from Mr. Santiago. With this exceptional cast of
beautiful actresses, he should have made a gem of an exploitationer.
Instead, THE MUTHERS is a
yawner that only perks up when Jeanne Bell's nipples are visible
through her tight shirt. It ain't often enough, folks. Santiago made
the PG-rated EBONY,
IVORY AND JADE
(another film full of missed opportunities, also starring Rosanne
Katon) the same year. Also starring Sam Sharruff, Ken Metcalfe, Bill
Baldridge, Rock Monti, Robert Miller and Dick Piper. Originally
released in one of those great big boxes by Continental
Video. There are some DVDs of this film floating around, but
their legitimacy is highly questionable. Rated R.
NIGHT
OF THE BLOODY TRANSPLANT (1968)
- Dated
entry, originally titled THE TRANSPLANT,
about a doctor trying to get permission from his peers to perform
the first human heart transplant. A wealthy old woman with a
bad heart offers the doctor one million dollars if he will give her a
good heart. He has one problem: His superiors have nixed the idea of
human heart transplants and forbid him to do one, fearing it would
make people think that doctors are butchers. (I told you it was
dated.) When the doctor's n'er-do-well brother accidently injures a
girl outside a bar, he brings her to the doctor's office, where he
tries to save her by massaging her heart (where real open heart
surgery footage is shown). She dies. So why waste a perfectly good
young heart? The doctor performs the transplant on the wealthy old
woman. It is a success. But who can he tell? Meanwhile the police
find the body of the heartless girl. Much more goes on here, but why
spoil the fun? This production, filmed in Flint, Michigan, is pretty
awful with its' bad photography and even worse acting. But, in
a strange way, it's highly watchable. Check out the 60's hairstyles,
clothing and music as well as the semi-nudity and cheap gore. There
is also a stripper (real tame), body painting and performance art.
The screenplay is scattershot, as it tries to tell ten different
stories at the same time. It doesn't work but you can't blame them
for trying. For all my drug-crazed sensibilities I actually liked
this dog. Most reference books list this film as being made in the
1980's. They must be kidding. Starring Dick Grimm, Cal Seely
and Elizabeth Rawlings. Directed by David W. Hanson (JUDY
- 1969). A United
Home Video Release. Rated
R.
PETS
(1974) - Bonnie (Candice Rialson, here billed as
"Candy") escapes from her abusive brother (Mike Cartel) and
meets conwoman Pat (Teri Guzman), who carries a German Luger in her
purse. They meet married man Dan Daubrey (Brett Parker), who takes
them for a ride in his convertible and tries to put the moves on
Bonnie (who doesn't seem to mind). Pat pulls out her gun, makes Dan
pull over, has Bonnie tie him up and then
tortures him with a safety pin until he gives up his house key and
information on where he hides his money. Pat has Bonnie hold him
hostage in the woods while she drives to Dan's house (where she
flashes the gardener, finds the money and steals jewelry belonging to
Dan's wife). Bonnie does an impromptu striptease in front of Dan and
then reveals that Pat's gun is nothing but a water pistol (After
revealing the gun is fake, Dan says to her, "You know what you
are? A cheap little hunk of flesh! A piece of meat that's on sale for
a few lousy bucks!"). When Dan's small dog Bebe bites Pat (dogs
don't seem to like her), she throws it over a cliff, killing it. When
she returns back to Bonnie and Dan, she threatens Dan with a (real)
knife and takes off without Bonnie after she finds out that she
revealed to Dan that the gun was fake (She says to Bonnie,
"You're not a kitten. You're just a little pussy!"). After
calling him her "lapdog", Bonnie makes love to Dan and then
leaves him in the woods, still tied-up. Bonnie then hitches a ride
with three guys in a dune buggy and then meets lesbian artist
Geraldine (Joan Blackman), who takes Bonnie to her home, lets her
take a bubble bath and hires Bonnie as her model. They become fast
friends and lovers until Geraldine becomes over-protective and
jealous, especially when rich art collector Vincent (Ed Bishop)
becomes interested in puchasing Geraldine's nude portrait of Bonnie.
When Geraldine shoots and kills a "burglar" named Ron (Matt
Green) in a jealous rage, (he was just looking for something to eat
and becomes Bonnie's secret lover), Bonnie runs away and ends up at
Vincent's house where she learns that he is more than a collector of
art. He buys Bonnie expensive clothes and jewelry, feeds her special
ice cream made with "goat's milk" and keeps her caged like
an animal! Vincent is a collector of the female species, including
all species of animals as well as women and keeps them captive in his
"zoo" in his basement as "pets". He invites
Geraldine over to his house, where he slowly begins to gain control
over her, eventually leading them to his basement. Bonnie gets the
last laugh as she traps Vincent and Geraldine together in a cage and
releases all the other pets. She drives off in Vincent's car and
picks up the first male hitch-hiker she spots. The End. This
exploitation gem contains so many references and visuals of animals,
the film's title takes on a whole different meaning. Everyone is
calling somebody some type of animal or another, whether it be "lapdog
",
"kitten", "pussy" and an art connoisseur (Berry
Kroeger) calls Vincent "a strange fish". There are some
revealing bits of dialogue, such as when Geraldine says to Bonnie,
"I like you best in the dark, when I can't see you. Then you are
as I wish you were." Pretty heady stuff for a cheap exploitation
film. That's not to say that this film skimps on the exploitation
elements. The late Candice Rialson (MAMA'S
DIRTY GIRLS - 1974; CHATTERBOX
- 1977) spends the majority of her screen time naked, topless or in
skimpy outfits. She comes off as half-innocent schoolgirl and
half-sexual temptress. Her character is really hard to pigeonhole
until the finale. Director/producer/co-scripter Raphael Nussbaum, who
also made the terrible rape/revenge film LETHAL
VICTIMS (1987) and the weak horror flick SPEAK
OF THE DEVIL
(1991), keeps things moving at a brisk and somewhat unorthodox pace.
The final third is especially disorientating, as Vincent invites
Geraldine over to his house. He says to her, "You women. You
always have great expectations but, still, you never know what to
expect." and then proceeds to try and possess her. His reasoning
for his hatred of women needs to be heard to be believed (Part of it
goes, "All I ask them to be is women instead of frauds!").
The late Ed Bishop (BATTLE
BENEATH THE EARTH - 1968; TV's U.F.O.
- 1971) is quite good as the insane collector, as he whips his pets
into submission (He says as he's whipping Geraldine, "The
lioness has spirit!" and "Show me a man that's satisfied
with one woman and I'll show you a liar!") without any human
conscience. Co-scripted by Richard Reich, based on his play of the
same name. I'm willing to bet that much of the colorful dialogue in
this film is lifted verbatim from his stage version. If you like
films full of nudity and animal symbolism, try tracking PETS
down. Some advertising materials and posters tried to pass this off
as a WIP film. I would hate to be the audience member who thought
they were about to view a film in the vein of CAGED
HEAT (1974). They must have been pissed! The DVD released by Code
Red is one of their worst releases (besides being long OOP). The
print used for the transfer looks like it has been run through a
projector at least 100 times too much, as it is splicey, scratchy and
very soft. Rated R.
PISTOL-PACKIN'
LEROY (1973) - The three
Bassett Brothers; deeply religious, but just plain mean Leroy (John
Goff; JOHNNY FIRECLOUD
- 1975), beer-guzzling and slightly retarded Wilbur (George
"Buck" Flower; DRIVE-IN
MASSACRE - 1977) and wise-ass younger brother Melvin (James
Ward), work out a plan to free their Native American friend, Keema
Greywolf (Cody Bearpaw; GENTLE
SAVAGE - 1973), from prison. The Bassett brothers steal a
police car at gunpoint, Leroy steals a cop's uniform and they follow
another police car carrying Keema for extradition to New Mexico
(Keema killed a cop and badly injured a sheriff in New Mexico on his
wedding day when he drunkenly tried to outrun them in his car, but he
ended up killing a cop and his new bride when he wrecked his car).
They stop the police car and rescue Keema, but not before killing one
cop for bashing-in Wilbur front teeth and taking Deputy Chavez
(Robert Padilla) hostage. When Sheriff Trask (Elliott Lindsey), the
same sheriff Keema injured on his wedding day, finds out that Keema
is on the loose (Keema lets Deputy Chavez
go free and tells him to warn Sheriff Trask that he's coming back to
finish the job), he puts together a posse to stop Keema and the
Barretts from reaching their destination. Keema is living on pure
rage, blaming the sheriff for his bride's death (Even though it's
obvious to everyone but Keema, that Keema himself is ultimately
responsible for her death, as Sheriff Trask [who is not a bad guy]
warned Keema during the wedding reception that he was too drunk to
drive). Keema has flashbacks to happier days when he and his
bride-to-be would frolic in the mountain snow and he can still hear
her calling his name, but it seems the more he reminisces, the more
deluded and violent he gets. The quartet hole-up in a cabin occupied
by horse doctor Charlie Zornes (Dick Winslow) and his deaf and dumb
daughter Twila (Bobbi Shaw) and when a drunk Wilbur tries to rape
Twila, Leroy gives Charlie permission to pull all of Wilbur's broken
teeth without the aide of an anesthetic. The quartet then takes the
Zornes family hostage, forcing Charlie to drive his RV closer to
Cloud County, New Mexico and a showdown with Sheriff Trask. At the
first roadblock, a gunfight breaks out where Melvin and two cops are
killed. The surviving trio hijacks a bus full of frightened
passengers on their way to church. The bus is stopped at the next
roadblock, where Leroy kills another cop and a passenger before he is
shot dead by cops at the entrance to a church (a fitting death),
Wilbur is captured and Keema escapes into the snow-filled mountains
with Sheriff Trask and a small posse quickly closing in. When Keema
hangs one of Trask's men and then himself gets caught in a couple of
bear traps, Sheriff Trask stops being Mr. Nice Guy and puts a bullet
in Keema's head, thereby proving that old adage, "The only good
Indian is a dead Indian". This early 70's crime drama,
originally titled THE
DEVIL AND LEROY BASSETT, is enjoyable merely for the fact
that it gives starring roles to John Goff and George "Buck"
Flower, who were friends in real life and usually had much smaller
roles in the films they appeared in (many of them together).
Director/screenwriter/co-producer Robert E. Pearson (whose only other
film seems to be HAWAIIAN SPLIT
[1971 - a.k.a. THE GOD CHILDREN])
lets Goff and Flower's natural chemistry shine through here, as Goff
spouts Bible passages (but is the most violent brother) and Flower
plays most of his scenes drunk (either sporting the ugliest set of
upper false teeth or no teeth at all). The violence is brutal, but
restrained (this was rated PG when released to theaters), and mainly
consists of people getting shot or being threatened with guns (the
shooting of the innocent bus passenger goes way beyond of what would
be accepted as PG today, though). The film loses interest very
quickly when Goff is killed and Flower captured, mainly because Cody
Bearpaw has the on-screen charisma of a cigar store Indian (even Old
Chief Wood'nhead in CREEPSHOW 2
[1987] had more facial expressions than Mr. Bearpaw) and the film
turns into a standard fugitive scenario. It still gets my
recommendation, though, because it is one of the best examples of
seeing both Goff and Flower shine in larger-than-normal roles.
Singer/actor Don Epperson (WILD WHEELS
- 1969), who plays Sergeant Don here, was accidentally killed during
the making of this film and there is a dedication to him after the
closing credits. Also starring Hal Bokar, Lillian McBride, Siegfried
Anton and James Beach. The print on this VHS tape released by High
Desert Films looks to have been sourced from a beat-up 16mm print
that is full of splices, missing frames and emulsion scratches, which
makes it a perfect grindhouse experience in your own living room. Not
available on DVD. Rated PG.
A
PLACE CALLED TODAY (1972) -
Dated political exploitationer that was originally Rated X when
released to theaters. While it seems rather tame today, a few ideas
remain timely. Not many, just a few. This film asks that age-old
question: Are people really equal, no matter what the color of their
skin? As radical Carolyn (Lana Wood; SATAN'S
MISTRESS - 1982) and her fiancé Ron (Richard Smedley)
argue over the question of equality (Carolyn says, "I'll steal
for it, fuck for it, kill for it and die for it!"), a black
radical places a time bomb at the entrance of a bank, but he is
spotted by a white cop and shot dead. The next morning, Carolyn and
Ron are standing in front of the blood-stained sidewalk where the
black radical was shot down and Carolyn screams about it being the
police's fault ("Those pigs! Those lousy, rotten pigs!"),
while Ron wonders why a black man would try to blow-up a bank with a
bomb ("The reason has to be more important than the act.")
and vows to find out why. Ron is a TV news director and local black
lawyer (and closet radical) Randy Johnson (Herbert J. Kerr Jr.) warns
best friend Carolyn, "One day you're going to have to choose
between what makes you happy and what you believe in!" when
she tells him she loves Ron. Carolyn doesn't know that Ron is having
an affair with rich white bitch Cindy Cartwright (Cheri Caffaro; SAVAGE
SISTERS - 1974), the daughter of rich businessman Alexander
Cartwright (Leo Tapp), who is a moneyman and "advisor" to
the town's current mayor, Ben Atkinson (Peter Carew). Randy has
political ambitions and figures that the only way he will get elected
for mayor is if the voters are scared of him, so he has all his
radical buddies (both black and white, including Carolyn) start a
campaign of terror and violence to get the voters to fall in line.
While Ron is oiling-up Cindy's naked body and screwing her brains
out, Randy (with Carolyn standing beside him) holds a press
conference where he announces that he is running for mayor as an
Independent, on the "Equality For Everyone" ticket, This
being the early-70's, it causes quite a stir, especially when Randy
promises to stop the violence plaguing the city, the same violence
where Randy has his radical buddies placing a few bombs around the
city (and killing some innocent white construction workers). If Randy
can make the citizens believe that only he can stop the violence and
killings, it will make him look like the new messiah. Ron grows
suspicious of Randy's candidacy and warns Carolyn not to get too
close to him (little knowing that he is way too late). That choice
Randy warned Carolyn she would have to make? It's gonna come sooner
than later. Pretty soon, it turns out, as the entire city experiences
a race war, with whites fighting blacks over the mention of Randy's
name. Randy has one more huge violent act for the radicals to perform
before he reels it all in, but politics, much like life, is a
vengeful bitch and Randy's political ambitions get in the way of his
personal views (Absolute power corrupts absolutely). It ends badly
for everyone, as the election draws near and it proves impossible to
stop the violence once it reaches the boiling point, where everyone
has hatred in their blood. This is a talky political melodrama
that is interrupted every so often by shots of female nudity and
bursts of violence. Director/screenwriter Don Schain, who also
directed the Ginger trilogy (GINGER
- 1971; THE ABDUCTORS - 1972; GIRLS
ARE FOR LOVING - 1973) and TOO
HOT TO HANDLE (1976), all starring his then-wife Cheri
Caffaro, ladles-on the way-too-earnest political mumbo-jumbo until
you'll be screaming for it to stop (I guess you would have had to
live through that period of time, which I did, to really understand
the politics on display here). Since we now have a black President in
our highest office, most of this film's political motivations are
rendered moot (and I think Mr. Obama would cringe at the thought of
winning the presidency the way Randy tries to win the mayoral race in
this film), but it's always nice to see Lana Wood and Cheri Caffaro
completely naked (Carrafo the actress, on the other hand, is
painfully terrible to watch and listen to). If you view A
PLACE CALLED TODAY (also known as CITY IN FEAR) as a
time capsule of an era long gone by, you may find some entertainment
value, but a film like BILLY JACK
(1971) managed to convey its political beliefs in a much more
entertaining package. Also starring Timothy Brown and Woody Carter.
Originally released on VHS by Monterey
Home Video and not available on DVD. Rated X, but it
would easily garner an R-rating if re-submitted today.
PLAYGIRL
KILLER (1965) - For those
of us old enough to remember, this mid-60's exploitationer played on
TV from the late-60's through the 70's under the generic titles DECOY
FOR TERROR and PORTRAIT OF FEAR and it left an impression
on my delicate little mind, but now that I have more days behind me
than ahead of me and my mind is much more "rational" (yeah,
right!), it's time to give this film another spin to see if it still
holds up. Well, there's good news and bad news. The bad news first:
The scenes that left an impression on my pre-teen
mind now seem quaint and dated. The good news: The film oozes a
sleazy vibe, contains some scenes that are quite atmospheric and has
a winning nutso performance by William Kerwin (BLOOD
FEAST - 1963; he shares story credit here with brother Harry
Kerwin, director of such genre films as GOD'S
BLOODY ACRE - 1975 and BARRACUDA
- 1977). The film follows the exploits of sandals-wearing (with
socks!), goateed artist Bill (Kerwin), who has more issues than
National Geographic. The first time we see Bill, he and a female
cutie in a one-piece bathing suit are in a rowboat in a park and dock
at a rocky part of the lake. While the cutie poses on a boulder, Bill
whips out a piece of paper from his jacket pocket and begins
sketching her, but when she laughs at his commands of "Don't
move! Don't move!", Bill picks up a handy speargun and shoots
her in the chest, killing her. Bill is nearly caught by a policeman
and a witness to the crime, who chase him through a park (filmed in
Montreal, Canada) during the opening credits, but he manages to avoid
them and make it back to his apartment, where he packs his belongings
and hightails it out of town on foot. We the switch to Bob (singer
Neil Sedaka, a good friend of William Kerwin's who also sang a song
["Do The Jellyfish"] in STING
OF DEATH a year later, a film Kerwin also worked on) and his
girlfriend Betty (Linda Christopher) frolicking in a pool at Betty's
rich Daddy's mansion, that is until Betty's cocktease older sister
Arlene (Jean Christopher, who is Linda's real-life sister) shows up
and asks Bob to rub some suntan lotion on her back. Bob happily
obliges, but it pisses-off Betty, who goes storming off with Bob
closely following behind her. Betty has a pool party that night with
all her college friends (a band called J.B. And The Playboys play
their hit song "If You Don't Want To"), where Bob, who is a
(what else?) rock-and-roll star, sings his latest hit
"Waterbug" ("Get with it, don't quit it,
waterbug!") and everyone dances The Monkey around the pool.
Arlene crashes the party, does an impromptu striptease (since it's
1965, all the flesh we see is what's not covered by her black bikini)
and puts the moves on Bob. Later that night, Arlene sneaks into Bob's
bedroom and screws him. The next morning, Daddy drives Betty and Bob
back to college in his limousine (This is the last time we see Bob,
Betty or Daddy, as this entire long sequence seems to be inserted to
show what a slut Arlene is and to give Sedaka a chance to sing). When
Arlene has trouble closing the garage door, she asks a hitch-hiking
Bill (who just happens to be passing by) to help her and it leads to
her flirting with him and offering him $15 a day to help her close-up
the family mansion for the end of Summer. Bill accepts and soon
Arlene is pulling the old "Oh, Bill, will you oil my back?"
routine, but Bill couldn't be less interested. While Bill is cleaning
the house, he notices a huge walk-in freezer in the basement and he
starts getting ideas. Very bad ideas. It turns out Bill is not only
an artist, he's also a misogynist (There's some mother issues
mentioned throughout the film in Bill's dialogue, such as when he
tells Arlene that his mother taught him how scrub floors when he was
a child). After a childhood trauma, Bill is obsessed with an image in
his mind of two women in the water with a third woman firing a bow
and arrow at a shadowy figure. He has been trying to paint that image
since being released from a mental institution, but his female models
can't sit still ("They... always... move!!!") and he goes
into a murderous rage. Now that he's got the walk-in freezer, he
figures he can kill his models and pose them in the freezer. This way
his models will never move. Bill begins by strangling Arlene while
she is taking a midnight stroll in a see-through nightie and posing
her dead body with a cocked bow and arrow in the freezer. He then
gets the bright idea of advertising for potential victims in the
newspaper's Personals section and Pat (Mary Lou Collins) applies for
the job. Bill drugs her drink, strangles her and poses her as the
second woman in the freezer. His next victim is Nikki (Andree
Champagne, who sings a song in French), who he picks up in a jazz
club, drugs her drink, strangles her and poses her as the third woman
in his dreams. He is now able to paint his masterpiece, but a visit
from one of Arlene's bitchy friends and a power outage bite him in
the ass. The bodies in the freezer start to thaw and Arlene's corpse
releases the arrow into Bill's neck, proving he was the shadowy
figure in
the image in his mind. Karma, it's a bitch. Though slow-moving
and uneventful throughout most of its running time, PLAYGIRL
KILLER, directed and written by Erick Santamaria (his only
screen credit), still oozes sleaze (most of the women here are either
sluts or are so naive, all it takes is a few choice words to get them
to take off their clothes), has a killer jazz score and is a good
time capsule of French Canadian Montreal in 1965. William Kerwin is
suitably creepy and wide-eyed as the crazy Bill and while the
bloodletting is kept to a minimum (the speargun murder is the
bloodiest bit in the film), the freezer sequences will stay in your
brain for a long time to come (it's what I remembered most since
watching this on TV as a kid in the late-60's and early-70's).
Kerwin's oft-repeated line of "Don't move!" will have you
in stitches (it would make a good drinking game), as will the thought
of Neil Sedaka portraying a playboy (I always pictured him more
comfortable on Liberace's lap than in the arms of a woman, even if he
once was married to singer/songwriter Carole King). A good slice of
60's sleaze cheese. Also starring Ted Rust, Fred Smith, Serge
Lasalle, Jacqueline Douguet, Denise Andrieux and Eileen Woliner.
Originally released on VHS by New
World Video and on budget DVD from Platinum Disc Corporation. Not
Rated (ignore the R-rating on the DVD, this film was released
before those ratings were implemented), but it would probably receive
a PG-13 if submitted to the MPAA today.
PLAY
MOTEL (1979) - Here's a nearly
unclassifiable sleazefest from Italy's answer to Ed Wood Jr., Mario
Gariazza (a.k.a. "Roy Garrett"; THE
EERIE MIDNIGHT HORROR SHOW - 1974; EYES
BEHIND THE STARS - 1977; BROTHER
FROM SPACE - 1984). He throws softcore sex (Bordering on
hardcore, but more on that later), horror cliches and giallo elements
against the wall to see what sticks. Like undercooked spaghetti, very
little does, but it is so "out there", you won't be able to
take your eyes off the screen.
Welcome to the Play Motel, where all of your sexual fantasies come
to life, but there is one huge caveat: Your fantasy could cost you
your life (or a huge sum of cash). Just like Hotel California: You
can check out any time you like, but you can never leave! A
businessman using the alias "Four Leaf Clover" (Enzo
Fisichella; TEENAGE
PROSTITUTION RACKET - 1975) checks in to the title
establishment looking for a good time. This motel has a bar where
prostitutes can wait for their johns. Four Leaf Clover is feeling
lucky and picks Loredana Salvi (Italian porn actress Marina Hedman,
using her pseudonym "Marina Frajese"; BEAST
IN SPACE - 1978) as his lady for the evening. She takes him
into Room #3, which is covered in red. Red Walls, red carpet and a
red bed. It also has its own costume closet. Four Leaf Clover dresses
up as the Devil and Loredana dresses as a nun. He traces his trident
over her naked body and then they screw. Back in his office, his
secretary hands him an envelope. Inside it are compromising photos of
him with Loredana and a note saying if he doesn't pay 300 million
lire, the photos will be sent to the newspapers and his life will be
ruined. He calls his lawyer, Altieri (Bob Balisteri), but he gets the
answering machine. After telling Altieri the predicament he is in
(and we discover his name is Rinaldo Cortesi), we then see Altieri
naked in bed, with...Rinaldo's wife Luisa (Patrizia Behn; MADNESS
- 1980)! After listening to Rinaldo's message, Luisa says, "That
husband of mine is always in trouble!" Later that day, Altieri
calls Rinaldo back and suggests he goes to the police as soon as
possible, but Rinaldo says no, he would rather pay the money (Then
why in the hell did he call a lawyer???). Altieri then calls Luisa
and tells her what her husband is up to. That night, Luisa tip-toes
into her bedroom where Rinaldo is sleeping, silently opens a drawer
of his night table and steals a key, which opens his desk. She steals
the blackmail photos and takes them to police Inspector De Sanctis
(Anthony Steffen; CRIMES OF
THE BLACK CAT - 1972), who makes copies of the photos and
tells Luisa to put the originals back where she found them (Luisa
also tells the Inspector that she hasn't slept with her husband in
years and that she asked him for a divorce).
We then see the Inspector following Lorendana, who he discovers is a
porn actress. She is shooting a porn film in the Play Motel. Willy
(Mario Cutini; THE BOYS OF
VIOLENT ROME - 1976), a porn photographer, hits on Lorendana,
but she is repulsed by his advances and tells him to get lost.
Lorendana's boss, porn magazine publisher Max Liguori (Marino
Masé; TENEBRE -
1982) sees Lorendana talking to the Inspector and wonders what she is
telling him. When Lorendana is driving home, she doesn't notice
someone in her back seat, who is wearing black gloves. When she does
see him, she says, "What do you want?" and then we see the
Inspector finding her dead body in her car, which is overturned in a
deserted location. We then see Luisa sneaking into the office of the
Play Motel's manager and watching some S & M action in Room #3
through a two-way mirror. She doesn't notice the black-gloved killer
sneaking up behind her. He strangles her with a piece of rope and
carries her dead body through a secret passageway in the motel (all
we see of the killer are his gloves and extreme close-ups of his
eye). As a married couple, stage actor Roberto Vinci (Ray Lovelock; LAST
HOUSE ON THE BEACH - 1978) and his wife Patrizia (Anna Maria
Rizzoli; BLAZING
FLOWERS - 1978), are checking out of the motel (they go
there to spice up their love life!), the motel receptionist (Mario
Novelli; SYNDICATE SADISTS
- 1975) presses a button, alerting the killer that he has a place to
stash Luisa's body. When Roberto and Patrizia are driving home, their
car gets a flat. Roberto opens the trunk to get the spare and
discovers Luisa's dead body. At the morgue, Rinaldo identifies his
wife's body and discovers that her valuable ring is missing. The
Inspector asks Roberto and Patrizia to go undercover for him to try
and get incriminating information on the Play Motel, since both dead
bodies are connected to it (The police would never ask normal
citizens to do what the Inspector asks!). The married couple agrees
and then we see a disguised Roberto (his disguise is a mustache!)
following Max to the Play Motel. Max goes to Room #3, dresses as a
priest and his "date", Valeria Marzotti (Patrizia Webley; THE
HEROIN BUSTERS - 1977), is dressed as a nun and tied to a
bed. Max is fully aware that he is being photographed (by Willy)
through the two-way mirror and puts on quite the show for the camera.
It turns out Max is the blackmailer and he uses photos of people who
refuse to pay him for publication in his porn magazine. Is Max also
the killer?
Patrizia goes undercover (in a wig!) at the Play Motel, playing a
wannabe porn starlet who wants naked photos of herself (You have to
be kidding me!). Willy starts taking full-frontal shots of Patrizia
and gets so turned on, he tries to rape her! Patrizia stops him,
takes a bathroom break (!) and sneaks into Willy's darkroom, where
she finds naked photos of Max and Valeria. She comes back and Willy
continues his porn shoot (!). Yes, Valeria is being blackmailed and
she doesn't know Max is involved. Max delivers Valeria's blackmail
payment to the killer, who hands Max the blackmail photos, which he
delivers to Valeria (Max has a sweet illicit business!). Max and his
accomplice(s) are raking in cash hand over fist, blackmailing wealthy
and famous citizens, like Guido Toselli (Vittorio Ripamonti), a
citizen in high standing (he's good friends with a Cardinal
at the Vatican!), who is actually a pervert who enjoys sticking
champagne bottles up prostitutes' vaginas (and reading porn mags in
his office)!
But just who is the killer? It's not hard to figure out, as
director/screenwriter Mario Gariazzo gives us the most basic of plots
and the mystery element is non-existent. This is nothing but softcore
footage of people screwing interrupted occasionally by the killer
stalking and striking. According to Gariazzo (who passed away in
2002), notorious producer Armando Novelli (SLAUGHTER
HOTEL - 1971; MANHUNT
- 1972) pulled a fast one on him and the crew, inserting hardcore sex
footage into the film after it was finished (Novelli said that this
wasn't true, as Gariazzo was well aware what was to be done). The
actors, especially Ray Lovelock (who passed away late in 2017), were
horrified to learn that lookalikes were portraying them in a porn
film. They threatened legal action, but nothing became of it. It is
also obvious that the English dubbing artists were having a lot of
fun here, giving some characters exaggerated British accents and
spouting such laughable dialogue as, "Talk you little bitch or
I'll turn your face into hamburger!" What in the hell are
British accents doing in a film that is set in Rome?
When the non-porn edition was submitted for release in the United
States, it was slapped with an X Rating. The softcore footage comes
very close to porn, as Gariazzo lets the camera linger on women's
vaginas and, in one scene, you can see the labia! Needless to say,
this film was never released to theaters in the U.S. and never
released on VHS in the States. Raro Video offers the non-porn version
on DVD and Blu-Ray, with the hardcore inserts as an extra on the disc
(plenty of tongue-wagging and finger action). It is in widescreen
with the option of watching it in the original Italian language with
English subtitles or watching it English dubbed. Raro does their
usual fantastic job of presenting the film in its proper OAR and it
looks fantastic, much better than it deserves to. The only extras on
the disc are the aforementioned hardcore inserts and an 18-minute
documentary titled "The Midias Touch" where Lovelock and
Novelli discuss the making of this film (Lovelock says making this
film was the lowest point of his career), how it was released in the
two versions simultaneously (a common practice in Italy at the time)
and the furor it caused. It is informative and entertaining, more
than the film itself. This film is only for serious nudity
addicts or those looking for a cheap laugh. All others are warned to
stay away. The "Play Motel" theme song (by Ubaldo
Continiello) is a real earworm, though. Also starring Antonella
Antinori, Bruno Di Luia, Franco Beltramme, Michele Zurlaro and Cesare
Di Vito. A Raro Video DVD
& Blu-Ray Release. Not Rated.
PRIMITIVES
(1978) - Leave it to those thieving bastards at VideoAsia/Ventura
Distribution. Once again they have pirated a film (in this case a
slightly letterboxed Greek VHS release of the Indonesian jungle
horror tale complete with Greek subtitles!), slapped it on DVD and
claimed it as their own. I could have done a better job of mastering
a DVD on my home system as this print contains rollouts, distortion
and other video noise associated with an overused VHS tape. Here's
the story: Three too-stupid-for-words archaeology students (including
Indonesian action star Berry "Barry" Prima [HELL
RAIDERS - 1985], in his first film role) hire some guides to
take them deep into the jungle where they hope to study a very
primitive tribe. After losing their boat and supplies to the raging
rapids (where one becomes separated
from the others), they must travel by foot, where they witness an
anaconda eating a large lizard (obvious stock footage) and find the
abandoned camp of Dr. Marcus, a scientist who disappeared in the area
a year earlier. Rita (Enny Haryono), the lone female of the group, is
nearly bitten by a cobra (a rubber snake on a string) and they then
are taken captive by a tribe of cannibals after their guide is killed
by a spiked boobytrap. Tied to poles, they are carried back to the
cannibal's camp, where they are tied to a rock and stripped nearly
naked. Robert (Prima) is forced to walk on all fours and act like a
dog while the children and women ride him. Robert is put in a bamboo
cage where the children pee on him and we witness a ritual where we
see the cannibals turn a giant snake into a maggot-ridden edible
paste. When one of the cannibals tries to rape Rita, the tribal
leader gives him a sharp rock castration. Meanwhile, Tommy (Johann
Mardjono), who was dislocated from the group during the boat
accident, treks through the jungle by himself. He sees an alligator
attacking and eating a leopard and eats poisonous fruit, causing him
to get sick and trip out. We also view the cannibals chowing down on
live lizards, slaughtering a live alligator and eating it's steaming
innards. Tommy witnesses a cannibal woman giving birth (she bites off
the umbilical cord and eats the afterbirth!) and follows her back to
camp. After Robert professes his faith in "Our Lord", he
and Rita watch as the cannibals bash in the head of a monkey and eat
it's brains. Tommy finally reunites with Robert and Rita, where they
escape into the jungle, the cannibals not far behind. After battling
some quicksand, the trio must battle the cannibals and one of them
will get a spear in the gut before the other two get away. What's the
point of all this, you may ask? It's the Indonesians way of competing
with the Italian cannibal films, which were becoming extremely
popular at the time. While it's no MAN
FROM DEEP RIVER (1972) or JUNGLE
HOLOCAUST (1976), PRIMITIVES
(also known as PRIMITIF)
offers enough gross-out moments and lapses in logic (A boomerang axe?
It must be seen to be believed!) to satisfy fans of cannibal cinema
and real life animal slaughter (which I find troubling). In other
words, it's insanely gory and utterly shameless. Not to mention
unintentionally hilarious. Tommy's halucinations and Robert's sudden
knowledge of martial arts in the finale are two standouts. Put your
mind in neutral and enjoy the ride. The use of "We Are The
Robots" by Kraftwerk in the opening credits is, I'm sure,
unauthorized. Directed by Sisworo Gautama Putra (THE
WARRIOR
- 1981; SATAN'S SLAVE
- 1982; HUNGRY SNAKE WOMAN
- 1987), who sometimes uses the Anglicized name "Sam
Gardner". PRIMITIVES
also stars Rukman Herman, Yayuk Suseno, Michael Kelly and Novita
Rully. Also known as SAVAGE TERROR.
A VideoAsia/Ventura Distribution Release as part of their TALES
OF VOODOO series (It's on Volume
2). Not Rated. UPDATE:
Now available on DVD
& Blu-Ray from Severin
Films, the purveyors of everything exploitative. They even use a blurb
from this review on the back of the discs' sleeves! This is the
first time CritCon has been mentioned in such a way.
PSYCHED
BY THE 4-D WITCH (1972) -
I have seen some boring, worthless films in my lifetime,
but nothing comes close to this piece of shit parading as a film.
Shot silent in 8mm with voiceover narration (a good clue that nothing
good is about to be seen), this film makes anything made by Ray
Dennis Steckler look like Orson Welles in comparison. A young ( and
terribly ugly) girl performs a supernatural sexual ritual and
conjures up her ancient witch ancestor who initiates her virginal
body to various sexual encounters (including making love to a gay
man!). The whole film (?) is a mixture of LSD trip visuals and home
movie footage trumped-up as filmed in "trans-etheric vision and
telepathic dialogue". I guess if they told the truth and said it
was filmed in "silent Kodak 8mm and dubbed later" it
wouldnt have sold at all. Nothing in this film is in the least
bit watchable and, to add insult to injury, the words
"pussy" and "fuck" are, for some unfathomable
reason, bleeped out every time they are spoken. Weird for an R-rated
flick. Thankfully, director Victor Luminera has never made another
movie (his wind-up camera probably broke). Some films should just
stay lost. The theme songs lyrics go "She came from the
belly of the Devils bitch, beware of the 4-D witch." You
should just beware of this film. It can cause diaharrea, vaginal
cramps and brain cancer. Starring Margo, Esoterica and Tom Yerian.
They are probably working today as cashiers at the local Home Depot.
A Something
Weird Video
Release. Rated
R
for rancid.
THE
REVENGE OF THE TEENAGE VIXENS FROM OUTER SPACE
(1985) - Many of you old enough may remember this regional oddity
(made in Seattle, Washington) being screened endlessly on the USA
Network's NIGHT
FLIGHT/UP ALL NIGHT program during the late 80's and early
90's, minus the minimal nudity and foul language. This sci-fi
comedy/sexploitation film opens with an alien medallion (which looks
like a
metal pretzel) falling in the woods next to a small town. Four
scantily-clad female aliens show up at the home of schoolgirl Karla
(Lisa Schwedop) and her disc jockey brother John (Peter Guss), where
they ask Karla for tips on the opposite sex. Since Karla is still a
virgin, she doesn't have much advice to offer them. The next day, the
four vixens start attending school (at the appropriately-named Bliss
Hall, which is a real Seattle school campus) and begin screwing
around with the male student body. Within a week, the vixens have
done it with nearly all the popular guys and that doesn't sit too
well with the school's female population. Karla and her new boyfriend
Paul (Howard Scott), along with conniving schoolgirl Stephanie (Amy
Crumpacker), who has the hots for Paul's teacher father, Jack Morelli
(Julian Schembri), try to find out just why the vixens are here. When
Jack gets suspended from his job for screwing one of the vixens, he
tells Paul that the vixens are from the same planet as his mother,
who visited here sixteen years earlier, got pregnant with Paul and
then went back to her home planet after having the baby. He also
tells Paul that when they get angry or frustrated, the vixens are
extremely dangerous. Jack also believes that Paul's mother, Mary Jo
(Anne Lilly) has return to Earth and he is right. When Paul finds out
he is half-alien, he also discovers he has special powers (he removes
Karla's blouse by just thinking about it!). The vixens become
frustrated with the sexual performance of the males in town
("They are all virgins!") and begin zapping everyone with
rayguns, turning them into giant vegetables! Paul and Karla go to
Mary Jo and ask for her help in ending the madness, but she refuses.
The Pentagon is called and they send troops to blow up the vixens
(stock war footage and model planes on visible strings). Jack is able
to change Mary Jo's mind and she gives Paul a medallion that channels
his powers. I guess it all ends happily, as we next see Paul in
photos on "Intergalatic" postcards, smiling and posing with
vixens on their home planet. What? The premise for this film is
quite unique, even if the execution leaves a lot to be desired. As
Mary Jo explains to Jack, the reason why their all-female race came
to Earth sixteen years earlier was because they picked up a TV signal
of Elvis Presley's original censored performance on the Ed Sullivan
Show! She says, "You got the top half and we got the bottom
half." The reason behind their return visit to Earth is because
one of their young females got hold of a copy of a "teen
magazine" and got curious! Mary Jo came along as a chaperone
this time, but
tells
Jack that "they'll have to learn from their own mistakes."
Although most of the humor is juvenile, I must admit that I laughed
out loud when the vixens turned a bunch of students into giant
vegetables (the huge carrot with eyes is a comic standout). The
special effects are strictly lower-tier (lots of billowing fog and
foam rubber), but they fit in well with the overall tone of the
production. One-time director Jeff Ferrell, who also co-wrote and
co-produced this with his wife, Michelle Lichter, offers the viewer
zero nudity, which is strange considering the subject matter. The
closest this comes to naked skin is when Paul telekinetically removes
Karla's blouse and we then see Karla covering her breasts with her
hands. There is a lot of funny dialogue, such as when the dastardly
Danny (Sterling Ramberg) is zapped by the vixens and his mother comes
out of the house with him in a jar to show the other concerned
citizens. Danny's father turns to the crowd and says, "There,
that's what's left of my son Danny. Just a giant pickle!" A guy
in the crowd then says, "They did this to my sister?"
Stephanie replies, "Worse. She was stepped-on afterwards!"
We also hear a radio announcer say, "We just received word that
the entire town of Springfield has been turned into a giant summer
squash!" We then see a giant summer squash with eyes! It's no AIRPLANE
(1980), but it's a hell of a lot funnier than AIRPLANE
2 (1982). Worth a purchase, if just for the memories of
watching it on TV over 20 years ago. Also starring Sarah Barnes,
Susanne Bailey, Lisa McGregor and Kim Wickenburg as the Vixens. THE
REVENGE OF THE TEENAGE VIXENS FROM OUTER SPACE was
originally released on VHS from Continental Video in one of those big
boxes and now available on DVD by a new outfit called Sovereign
Distribution, who offer an uncut fullscreen print (it looks like
a VHS port, but it's watchable) with filmmaker commentary, a deleted
scene (a musical number that had to be scrubbed because they couldn't
get the music rights), a mini-commentary by Susanne Daily, filmmaker
bios (where it states that both Jeff Ferrell and Michelle Lichter
were abducted by aliens in 1992 and went missing for ten years!) and
trailers for other Sovereign releases. A nice little package, even if
the cover art looks like it was drawn by a fifth grader. Not Rated,
but it would probably garner an R if submitted to the MPAA, due to
foul language. "Nobody sit on my harmonica!"
RIOT
ON 42ND
ST. (1985) -
While this may be a terrible film, it's historical value is
immeasurable because it shows Times Square just before it was
cleaned-up and Disneyfied. You can almost taste and touch the filth
and desperation. God, I miss those days! Glenn Barnes (John Patrick
Hayden, sporting an 80's porn moustache) returns home to his
family-run 42nd Street grindhouse business after serving time on a
manslaughter rap, where he accidentally killed a drug dealer in the
theater three years earlier. His sudden reappearance doesn't sit sit
too well with several people, including his brother Tom (Lance
Lewman), who is now in a street gang; cop Frank (Jeff Fahey. Yes,
that Jeff Fahey), whose partner Michelle Owens (Kate Collins) was
Glenn's lover (she picks up where they left off before he was sent to
prison); and crooked businessman Leonard Farrell (Michael Speero),
who runs a competing stripper/hooker bar and has a long-standing
rivalry with Glenn. When some of Farrell's stripper/whores want to
defect to Glenn's newly refurbished business (Farrell slaps one of
his girls around and says, "You're gonna fuck, suck, lick and
eat anybody I tell you to!"), Farrell
orders his men to kill everyone that works for Glenn. What they
don't count on is that Glenn and his men, including Rip (Rick
Gianisi), are fighters and they beat-up and shoot Farrell's men (When
one of Farrell's men gets shot in the arm, he pulls out the bullet
with his teeth!). Glenn's grand re-opening is a big success (It's
like a burlesk show, with a rock band, a black female crooner,
strippers and a bad comedian named "Zerocks", who's
"A" material consists of jokes like, "I'm not black.
It's the sun lamp I bought in Woolworths!" and the audience
roars with laughter!) and Farrell puts in an appearance to make some
veiled threats, has someone deliver a human head to Glenn in a box
(!) and later has his men burst into the Glenn's crowded business and
slaughter nearly all the patrons (including Glenn's father) with
machine gun fire (in the film's most effective scene). Glenn and his
men join forces with Tom and his gang (even cop Michelle looks the
other way) and they all look to get some NYC payback. When Farrell
kidnaps Michelle, Glenn must fight his way to her floor-by-floor
while Farrell watches all the action on close circuit TV. Believe it
or not, there actually is a riot on 42nd Street, as Farrell and his
men are graphically dispatched and the good guys take back the
streets. This is the rarest of director/scripter Tim Kincaid's
non-porn films (He still directs gay porn flicks using the name
"Joe Gage"). Best known in the 80's for directing a string
of lousy (yet, somehow, endearing) ultra-low-budget genre films,
including BAD GIRLS DORMITORY
(1984), ROBOT HOLOCAUST
(1986), BREEDERS
(1986), MUTANT HUNT (1987), THE
OCCULTIST (1988) and SHE'S BACK
(1989). Kincaid made this one obviously without permits on location,
which may be why it is so hard to find in the U.S. (The print I
viewed came from a Japanese-subtitled laserdisc). It is atrociously
acted (as are all of Kincaid's films), but there are some surprising
bits of gore (effects courtesy of Ed French, who did the makeup
effects for most of Kincaid's genre films), including a throat
slashing that turns into a beheading (!), a boobytrapped tunnel where
one of Tom's gang is impaled through the head with a spring-loaded
spike, the bloody, squib-filled slaughter in Glenn's grindhouse and
the finale, where people get shot in the head and torso and Farrell
falls off of his building's roof and is bloodily impaled on a fence
below. The film's one true standout is Carl Fury as Farrell's
musclebound right-hand man Remy Wyler, the bullet-biting, almost
indestructable, never-say-die psychopath, who beheads people with a
knife (!), kidnaps children and has a long one-on-one fight with
Glenn in the finale (Yet his feelings still manage to get hurt when
Farrell yells racist remarks at him!). It's apparent that Jeff
Fahey (in a thankless role) appears here as a favor to someone,
probably to relative Mary Fahey, who has a small role here as
"Lulu". While RIOT
ON 42ND ST. can't be classified as quality entertainment by
any stretch of the imagination, it's rare location shooting and
frequent violence will keep your interest. Hell, who am I kidding. I
loved it! Melvin Van Peebles is one of the people thanked in the
closing credits and the cheesy synth tune, "Riot On The
Deuce", that opens and closes the film will be ingrained in your
brain for weeks to come. Also starring Frances Raines, Philip Harris,
Asie Kio, Dan Geffen, Pearl Bank, Ceal Coleman, Amy Brentano (BLOOD
SISTERS - 1987) and Ron Van Clief as himself. Now available
on a double
feature DVD from Code Red,
with Kincaid's BAD GIRLS DORMITORY
(1984). Not Rated.
ROLLING
VENGEANCE (1987) - I'm still
scratching my head over this one. This trucker action film was made
at least ten years too late. It was during the 70's when audiences
were most interested in trucker films, thanks to their fascination
with CB radios and it's culture, especially the shorthand language
that went with it ("10-4, good buddy!"). Thanks to this
obsession (which was thankfully short-lived in the mainstream), there
was a short spurt of trucker exploitation flicks during the
mid-to-late 70's, including TRUCK STOP WOMEN
(1974), WHITE LINE FEVER
(1975), BREAKER, BREAKER
(1977), Sam Peckinpah's CONVOY
(1978) and, of course, SMOKEY
AND THE BANDIT (1977). The genre petered-out during the
early 80's (thanks, in part, to the inferior BANDIT sequels),
which makes me wonder why anyone would green-light a film like this.
The story is generic trucker stuff: A father-and-son trucker team,
Big Joe Russo (Lawrence Dane; RITUALS
- 1977) and Joey Russo (Don Michael Paul; ROBOT
WARS - 1993), suffer a devastating loss when Big Joe's wife
and other pre-teen son are killed when a bunch of drunken jerks in a
pickup truck force their car on the opposite side of the road,
directly into the path of an oncoming 18 wheeler, killing them
instantly. The driver of the pickup truck, Victor Doyle (Todd
Duckworth), is brought to
trial, but the judge finds a lack of evidence for a manslaughter
conviction and fines Victor $300 instead, which pisses-off both Big
& Little Joe. To add insult to injury, Victor's father Tiny Doyle
(Ned Beatty, sporting the most ridiculous-looking hairpiece I have
ever seen), who runs the town's only bar (and a used car lot, just to
show how crookedly evil he really is), fires the Russo's from
delivering the booze to his bar, which puts the hurt on the Russo's
trucking business. Besides Victor, Tiny has a bunch of other half-wit
sons by different mothers with names like Moon Man, Finger and Hair
Lip and just like any good inbred clan they do whatever Papa says.
That includes dropping cinderblocks from an overpass directly into
the path of Big Joe's rig, forcing him to jackknife and crash,
putting him into a coma. Little Joe says enough is enough and, in
true 80's montage fashion, builds a monster truck (it spits flames
out of it's exhaust pipes) and uses it to trash Tiny's used car
business as well as Tiny's tricked-out Cadillac. The police, led by
Lieutenant Sly Sullivan (Michael J. Reynolds), are baffled as to who
and what have caused all this destruction (Little Joe only brings out
his monster truck at night to avoid detection) and since Tiny is not
cooperating, there's very little the cops can do. Tiny orders his
mentally deficient sons to ambush Little Joe's trucker friend Steve
Tyler (Barclay Hope), but Little Joe and his truck of destruction
show up in the nick of time and save Steve's ass, killing two of
Tiny's sons (Little Joe has equipped the monster truck with a giant
drillbit in the front, which he uses to rip the door off the van that
Tiny's sons were in). The rest of Tiny's sons rape and brutalize
Little Joe's girlfriend, Misty (Lisa Howard; REPLIKATOR
- 1994, also with Ned Beatty), so Little Joe chases them down,
flattening them under the truck's obscenely-oversized wheels. When
Big Joe succumbs from his injuries, Little Joe hops in his monster
truck and heads down to Tiny's bar, where Tiny and only surviving son
Victor are arguing about about Victor's yellow streak. Little Joe
flattens the bar, Tiny is shot between the eyes by Lt. Sullivan and
Victor steals the monster truck and chases Misty into a drainage
tunnel with the truck's drillbit (insert phallic symbolism here).
Little Joe saves Misty in the nick of time and, with all the bad guys
dead, Lt. Sullivan covers for Little Joe, letting him get away with
murder. Hooray for vigilantism! Directed without any flair by
Steven H. Stern, who is better known for directing TV movies like THE
GHOST OF FLIGHT 401 (1978) and THE
PARK IS MINE (1985). That could be why this film has the
same flat look and feel of a TV movie. The violence and nudity are
also fairly restrained for a film with an R-rating. We never really
see the bloody aftermath of Little Joe's truck vengeance and Misty's
rape cuts away before the viewer sees anything. Which brings up my
whole point: Why make a trucker revenge film ten years too late and
then forget to add violence or nudity? It just doesn't make any
sense. This has to be the worst film Ned Beatty has done (he's
absolutely awful here) and the acting talent by the rest of the cast
never rises above a TV Movie Of The Week. I can't find one thing to
recommend here. There's more action at a monster truck rally. Avoid
it like a case of herpes. Also starring Michael Dyson, Hugo Dann,
Michael Kirby and Alar Aedma. Originally released on VHS by Charter
Entertainment and still awaiting a DVD release. The widescreen
print I viewed was recorded off of pay cable channel Showtime
Extreme. Rated R.
SACRIFICE!
(1972) - This is the film that kick-started the Italian cannibal
craze and, while it is not as graphic as later films in this genre
(such as CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST
- 1980 or CANNIBAL FEROX
- 1981, just to name a couple), it is still quite disturbing. What
helps this film achieve its goal is the beautiful on-location
cinematography (by Riccardo Pallottini; THE
KILLER MUST KILL AGAIN - 1973). It may be beautiful, but
danger lurks around every corner.
The film opens with professional photographer John Bradley (Ivan
Rassimov; SPASMO - 1974) on
assignment in Thailand and we watch as he takes photos of the
country's colorful beauty and people. The film then displays the
following scrawl: "In the dense jungle along the often ill
defined border between Thailand and Burma, it is still possible to
find primitive tribes which have no contact with the outside world.
This story was filmed on location with one of these tribes and even
though some of the rites and ceremonies shown are perhaps gruesome,
they are portrayed as they are actually carried out. Only the story
is imaginary." We then see John take in a Thai kickboxing
match where his girlfriend is so disgusted by what she sees, she
leaves. After the match, John decides to get a drink at a local bar
(look for prolific Italian producer Luciano Martino [SCREAMERS
- 1979] as an uncredited extra), where some local takes exception to
a white man drinking at his bar and he pulls out a switchblade. John
takes the knife away and accidentally stabs the man in the stomach.
John flees (What chance does a white man have with the local police?)
and takes a trip down a river with his guide (he pays a local to tell
no one where he has gone if they ask). One morning, John wakes up and
discovers that his guide is dead on the bank of the river, his throat
has been cut. He jumps in the river to retrieve the body and is
captured by a tribe of people who have never seen a white man before.
They start banging on a drum to communicate to their village and one
tribesman goes to their leader, Lahuna (Ong Ard), and announces that
they have caught a giant "fishman" (they have no idea what
scuba gear is for). John is brought to the village, where he hangs in
a net connected to a tree branch. John watches as second-in-command
Tuan (Tuan Tevan) cuts out the tongues out of two tribesmen, members
of the "Kuru" cannibal tribe, for eating human flesh (Tuan
says, "Let this be a lesson to all other cannibal tribes!").
John is shocked by what he sees and calls this non-cannibal tribe
"savages' (an alternate title for this film is DEEP
WATER SAVAGES).
Lahuna believes that John may be dangerous, but his beautiful
daughter Maraya (Me Me Lai; JUNGLE
HOLOCAUST - 1976; also starring Ivan Rassimov) pleads to her
father to make him her slave ("He is not a fishman. He is only a
man."). Tuan and some other male tribe members throw the
"fishman" in the river and taunt him by throwing dead fish
at him. Lahuna shows up and declares that John belongs to him. This
pleases Maraya, but bothers male tribe member Karen (Sulallewan
Suxantat). The next scene depicts Karen milking a cobra for its venom
(but it will not be used on John). John is tied-up and only set free
to do menial work around the village (Maraya orders Tuan to strip
John naked and to put him to work in the river (trying to spear fish
for dinner). John doesn't speak their language (At one point he yells
out, "I'm a man, not a fish!), but an old woman named Taima
(Prasitsak Singhara) speaks English, explaining to John that she was
kidnapped by the tribe years before when she was walking in the
jungle. Taima agrees to help John escape.
When a tribesman is accidentally killed by a falling heavy idol,
John watches a ritual where his body is burned and his wife is
screwed by another tribesman, who claims her as his own (I guess
women are left no time to grieve!). Taima believes this is the
perfect time for John to escape, so he does, only to get caught by
Karen, who challenges John to a fight to the death. John wins,
stabbing Karen to death in the stomach with a spear (I guess this is
John's preferred method of killing a man) and when the other tribe
members want to kill John, Karen says with his dying breath, "No,
he has won!" John sees a helicopter approaching and passes out
when running towards it. When John wakes up, he finds that he has not
been rescued. He is still a prisoner with the tribe. He is put on a
spinning device in a hut, where his head is made immobile with a
bamboo cage (this image is used in many of the posters for this
film). As he spins slowly around the tribesmen use blowguns to shoot
darts into John's torso. He is then left out in the blazing sun tied
to a bamboo rack until Lahuna decides John has learned his lesson.
John is now free to roam the village, where he watches Lahuna cut
off the top of a monkey's head and feast on its brains (Is it real?
It looked real to me. This was copied in the fake mondo film FACES
OF DEATH - 1978.). John earns Lahuna's trust when he saves
the life of a young choking boy by cutting his throat open and
performing an emergency tracheotomy. Lahuna is so impressed that he
makes John one of three me who are qualified to become Maraya's
groom. Maraya is blindfolded and restrained naked while each of the
three men take turns sticking their arm in a hole in a hut and
feeling her up. She decides who is to become her groom by who made
her feel the most like a woman! Of course, she picks John, they screw
like rabbits and they fall in love. A few weeks later, Lahuna calls
for John to come to his hut, where he announces that Maraya is
pregnant. A happy John runs to Maraya and says, "It'll be a boy.
My little black savage!" (!!!).
Six months pass and John has taught Maraya English (he now
understands their language). The village is attacked by members of
the Kuru cannibal tribe. John witnesses one of them eating the flesh
of a member of his adoptive tribe and he cuts out the cannibal's
tongue (something he strongly protested when he was captured). Maraya
is having serious medical issues with her pregnancy, so John decides
that the only way to save his wife and child is to escape to
civilization. Once again, he asks for Taima's help to escape, only
when he does, the tribe is not so forgiving this time as we watch
Tuan cut off Taima's hand on orders by Lahuna. They recapture John
and Maraya, but don't punish either of them. Maraya is confined to
her hut due to her medical condition (she goes blind). The entire
Kuru cannibal tribe attack the village, burning down huts and killing
Tuan, forcing John, Maraya, Lahuna and what's left of the tribe to
flee into the jungle. Maraya dies giving birth to a healthy baby boy
(she can't even see him). A helicopter appears overhead, but instead
of running towards it, John runs away from it and tells the tribe to
hide. John's life now is as a tribesman, as he tells everyone that
they must rebuild the village.
While there is precious little cannibalism (just quick shots of a
cannibal eating a human arm and another ripping into a woman's
breast), this film, directed by the prolific Umberto Lenzi (EYEBALL
- 1975; CITY OF THE WALKING DEAD
- 1980),
contains copious nudity and scenes of real-life animal slaughter,
including the monkey death, the gutting of a live alligator and a
mongoose attacking a cobra (this is how the tribe entertains itself).
Many of these scenes were incorporated into Lenzi's much more graphic
cannibal film EATEN ALIVE!
(1980). Compared to many other cannibal film that followed, SACRIFICE!
(also released theatrically as THE
MAN FROM DEEP RIVER by Joseph
Brenner Associates. They also released it under the review
title.) is surprisingly tame, considering the subject matter. Still,
this is an interesting film, best viewed as a blueprint for the
future cannibal films to come.
Originally released on fullscreen VHS by Prism Entertainment (it was
slightly edited) in the mid-'80s, with a widescreen uncut DVD from
Shriek Show that followed in 2004 (both using the title THE MAN
FROM DEEP RIVER). The Blu-Ray, from Raro
Video, is the preferred way to watch this, if only for the
25-minute documentary "Cannibal World", where the late
Umberto Lenzi talks about his career (he believes that ALMOST
HUMAN [1974] is his best film [I agree] and that PARANOIA
[1969] is better than SPASMO
[1974; once again. I agree]). Also in the documentary is an interview
with screenwriter Francesco Barilli (who co-wrote this film with
Massimo D'Avack. They both wrote the screenply to the terrific giallo
film WHO SAW HER DIE?
- 1972), who says he based this film's premise on the Richard Harris
western A MAN CALLED HORSE
(1970) and that he wanted nothing to do with Ovidio G. Assonitis (MADHOUSE
- 1981), who produced this film. But the most interesting aspect of
this documentary is the interview with Me Me Lai, who talks about her
career and offers no apologies about her many roles where she
appeared completely nude (including this film). It's refreshing to
hear a beautiful woman (she still looks great) have no regrets about
her career. As a matter of fact, Ms. Lai seems to enjoy all the
attention she has received and has nothing but good things to say
about Lenzi. Sometimes the extras are more informative than the film
itself, which is the case here. That's not to say that this is a
badly-made or boring film. It's not. Be aware that if you have an
all-region Blu-ray player and you are thinking about purchasing the
Region B disc from British label 88
Films, it is missing 3 minutes of footage, but is strong on
extras. Also starring Pipop Pupinyo (H-BOMB
- 1973), Prapas Chindang, Song Suanhud and Chit & Choi as the two
cannibals that have their tongues removed. Not Rated.
SATANS
CHILDREN (1974) -
This obscure lensed-in-Florida rarity is a true exploitation
mavens dream. Poor Bobby Douglas (Stephen White) runs away from
home after putting up with his abusive father (Eldon Mecham) and
cockteasing stepsister Janis (Joyce Molloy) one too many times. He is
then promptly raped by four men in the back of a car and dumped
unconscious naked in the woods. He is found by a cult of Satan
worshippers and brought back to their compound. Sherry (Kathleen
Archer), the temporary leader of the group (their leader, Simon, is
away on business), falls in love with Bobby who is laid up in bed
nursing a sore ass. Dissention erupts in the group over Bobby
("Hes queer. Satan doesnt want victims") and
Sherry hangs three of the disciples for wanting Bobby ousted from the
compound. The dashing, debonnaire Simon (Robert C. Ray II in an
excellent performance) returns and, finding out what Sherry has done,
buries her up to her neck and pours maple syrup over her head. While
waiting for the ants to come, Simon gives Bobby two choices: He can
stay in bed and watch the ants devour Sherry or he can get out of bed
and quit being a victim. Bobby opts for the latter. He escapes from
the compound and returns home (after electrocuting two compound
guards and drowning two more guards in quicksand). He hits his father
over the head with a bottle, ties up his stepsister (rape is implied)
and throws her in the backseat of his car. He then drives to the
house of the four men who raped him and kills them with a shotgun. He
cuts off the head of the lead rapist, puts it in a plastic bag (he
may have done the same thing to his father since there are two heads
in the bag) and delivers it, along with his stepsister, to Simon. The
final scene shows Bobby and Sherry making passionate love intercut
with scenes of his stepsister being crucified (with metal spikes!) on
a wooden cross. A true happy ending! This mind-blowing flick must be
seen to be disbelieved. The screenwriters (Gary Garrett and Ron
Levitt) are definitely pro-Satan and anti-homosexual. All gay
characters are portrayed as sexual deviates and meet nasty ends. When
a female disciple swears before Simon and Satan that she is not a
lesbian (she is), a river of blood flows from her mouth and she
chokes to death! This demented film, directed and produced by Joe
Wiezycki (has he done anything else?) is so steeped in homosexual
undertones (Bobby is either naked or in his underwear for most of the
film) that one gets the feeling that the filmmakers were trying to
exorcise some demons of their own. Toss in some good music (the
opening and closing theme is a killer) and decent acting (only the
father is wooden) making SATANS
CHILDREN
a thoroughly watchable and unforgiving flick, one of the best that
came out of Florida during the 70s. I now declare this to be
one of CritCons top 20 films of all time! Something
Weird Video
has dug up a near pristine print of this unknown classic. Do yourself
a favor and send $22.00pp off to them and buy this whacked-out tale
of Satan-loving homo-hating hippies. Youll be glad that you
did. Rated
R
for Really Weird. Update: Robert C. Ray II (a.k.a. Simon)
emailed CritCon with his take on this film: "The
fun thing about that film for me has to be that a significant part
of the dialog was badly recorded while filming (the Nagra crystal
sync recorder wasn't too good), so we had to re-record the entire
thing at my apartment just off-campus from the University of South
Florida in Tampa. The sound man and I went into the bathroom
for the better acoustics, and stood in the bathtub and did another
series of takes. My young wife was in the kitchen, hidden behind the
door, laughing hysterically at us. All in all, it came out
quite well, considering all of us worked for spec. We all had
fun making it, which is ultimately what it's all about anyway..."
Mr. Ray II can be seen in the ape adventure/comedy BORN
TO BE WILD (1995 - a.k.a. KATIE)
playing a corrupt Customs Officer whom Peter Boyle pays off.
SAVAGE
INMATES (1976) - Also
known as ISLAND
OF 1000 DELIGHTS,
this German/French co-production is merely an excuse to show as many
simulated sex scenes and naked flesh as is humanly possible in a 90
minute film. The thin story line involves a gambler (Philippe
Garnier) who plots to kill his aunt to inherit her fortune. The
subplot is about a casino owner who runs a slave trade business on
the side. None of that is really important as beautiful women (except
the native one with a moustache!) are shown in various states of
undress as well as in precarious predicaments. See Olivia Pascal
(Jess Franco's BLOODY
MOON
- 1981) tortured with a red hot light bulb to her nipples and pubic
area. Watch as the mustachioed native girl is coerced into
masturbating with a lit candle and then forced to perform oral sex.
Marvel at the sight of a stripper performing the erotic banana dance.
Director Hubert Frank has been churning out softcore porn like this
for years. His other titles available on tape are MELODY
IN LOVE
- 1978; VANESSA - 1977; and (STORY
OF) THE
DOLLS
- 1984. SAVAGE
INMATES
contains lush photography, exotic locales, beautiful bodies, spurts
of violence, double and triple crosses, plenty of pubic hair (both
male and female) and decent dubbing, enough to warrant a
recommendation for fans of this type of exploitation. I enjoyed it a
lot. WARNING: Showtime cable network has been showing SAVAGE
INMATES
under its alternate ISLAND title for over twenty years in a
severely edited form. It is devoid of many of the sex scenes and most
of the violence (the candle scene and banana dance are completely
missing). Avoid it and track down the unrated cassette version. T-Z
Video sells this version for $9.99 and it is recorded in the SP mode!
This is a good buy. Grab it! Also known as SEX
SLAVES and TRIANGLE
OF VENUS. Unrated
for obvious reasons.
SAVAGE
ISLAND (1980/1985) - What do
you do if you are Charles Band and you've gotten your hands on two
European WIP films (HOTEL PARADISE
and ESCAPE FROM HELL,
both directed by Eduardo Mulargia in 1980; Mulargia also co-directed
the extremely strange giallo film TROPIC
OF CANCER [1972]) and you want to royally screw-over the
viewing audience? Why, you use the pseudonym "Robert Amante"
(the same name Band used when he directed THE
ALCHEMIST [1981]) as a producer credit, film ten minutes of
new footage featuring Linda Blair, Leon Askin and Penn Jillette (!),
mix and edit everything together into a 77 minute mess, give
directorial and co-scripting credit to someone named "Nicholas
Beardsley" (yeah, right!) and release it through Empire
Pictures. The film opens with a woman in some island prison buried up
to her shoulders in sand while a snake coils around her neck,
squeezing the life from her. We then switch to the newly-shot
footage, where Daly (Blair) steps out of a limousine, walks into a
highrise building, shoots the security guard (Jillette) at the front
desk right between the eyes when he asks her to sign-in (how rude!)
and then takes the elevator to the office of Mr. Luker (Askin). While
Daly holds Mr. Luker hostage with a machinegun, she relates a story
to him about his dirty jewel business
and how he and his associates use women prisoners as cheap labor to
mine his precious jewels on Emerald Island. Suddenly, we are back to
the old footage, as Daly narrates the story of how a handful of
female prisoners put up with abuse from horny guards and a sadistic
warden at a work camp. A couple of new female prisoners are actually
working in conjunction with Daly (though we hear her voice, Blair
does not appear, even as inserts, in the old footage) to bring down
the camp and, with the help of Laredo (Anthony Steffan), the island's
only good guy, bring all the female prisoners together for a revolt,
but not before plenty of naked showers, lesbian and straight
encounters and some good, old fashioned torture, including rape and
whippings. After the women escape with Laredo's help, they are hunted
down in the jungle by the remaining guards. After surviving an attack
by leeches (well, one doesn't survive) and a pool of quicksand (oops,
another one bites the dust), the remaining women (both of them) take
an injured Laredo to safety and we then return back to Daly in Mr.
Luger's office. After killing Luger's bodyguard, Daly shoots Luger
and robs his safe of all his jewels. There, I've just saved you 77
minutes of your life. Use them for something more productive, like
getting painful laser treatments to remove that Yogi Bear tattoo you
had put on your left asscheek during that one drunk night no one ever
talks about. This is a real ordeal to sit through, thanks to
the lousy dubbing and a plot that makes absolutely no sense. This is
nothing but a "best of" collection of scenes from the two
earlier films, which shared many of the same actors (Steffan, Ajita
Wilson and Cristina Lai), whose hairstyles and clothing change from
scene-to-scene. While there is plenty of full-frontal female nudity
on view, the hackneyed rewritten plot and slapdash editing offer
little entertainment value for your hard-earned cash. The ridiculous
dubbing consists of people yelling profanities at the women
prisoners, such as this exchange: Female Guard:
"Get back to work, you filthy cunts! Didn't you hear me?" Female
Prisoner: "We didn't hear you!" There is a
smattering of violence here and there, including Ajita Wilson (a
hermaphrodite in real life) biting the head off a snake, none of it
is very convincing or exciting. Shame on Linda Blair for
participating in deceitful crap like this. While we expect false
advertising and sleight-of-hand from Charles Band (who is still
churning out crap up to this day, such as the excruciatingly-bad THE
GINGERDEAD
MAN
[2005]), we expected better from Ms. Blair back in the 80's, who
still was making good genre films like HELL
NIGHT (1981) and SAVAGE
STREETS (1984). SAVAGE ISLAND
is to be avoided at all costs, especially since HOTEL PARADISE
(a.k.a. ORINOCO: PRISON OF SEX) and ESCAPE FROM HELL
can be viewed in their unedited form on home video. This is just
another example on how Charles Band continually promised more than he
could deliver. Here, he promised us Linda Blair and gave us nothing
but a pastiche of cliches. Shame on him and double-shame on me for
not knowing better by now. Also starring Stello Candelli, Luciano
Rossi, Also Minardi, Luciano Pigozzi and Cintia Lodetti. A Force
Video VHS Release. Available on DVD
as part of Full Moon's
"Grindhouse Collection" (which basically means it has not
been remastered and was probably taken from 1" tape masters). Rated
R.
SAVAGE
SISTERS (1974) - This is one of
Filipino director Eddie Romero's many 70's exploitation flicks, only
this one is the less-seen of the bunch as it never got a legit U.S.
home video release, unlike his BEAST
OF THE YELLOW NIGHT (1970),
TWILIGHT PEOPLE
(1973) and BEYOND
ATLANTIS
(1973). Cheri Caffaro (GINGER -
1971) stars as Jo Turner, an American revolutionary working in the
Philippines with boyfriend Ernesto (Dindo Fernando) to overthrow a
facist regime helped along by the sadistic Capt. Morales (Eddie
Garcia). Jo is captured by Capt. Morales and is sent to prison while
boyfriend Ernesto is doublecrossed and murdered by bandito Malavasi
(a long-haired Sid Haig in a sombrero) and his sidekick One-Eye
(Filippino staple Vic Diaz). With no help for outside help to escape,
Jo and her friend Mai Ling (Rosanna Ortiz) must find their own way to
break out, but they are dogged repeatedly by female interrogator Lynn
Jackson (Gloria Hendry), who nearly rapes Jo with a razor-sharp dildo
attached to a power drill. When Jackson shows her Ernesto's
bullet-ridden corpse, Jo swears vengeance on Malavasi and works with
Mai Ling to find a way out of prison. Malavasi, meanwhile, ambushes a
government convoy and steals one million dollars of General
Balthasar's (Leoplodo Salcedo) illegal kickbacks and tries to find a
way off the island. The General orders Capt. Morales to find Malavasi
and return the money and opportunist W.P. Billingsley (John Ashley)
works out a deal with Jackson to break Jo and Mai Ling out of prison
so they will lead them to the money. The three girls escape, ditch
Billingsley and go searching for Malavasi and the money, but the
bumbling Capt. Morales and his troops are not far behind. All three
factors meet at a dock where Malavasi tries to escape by boat (helped
by a guy in a wheelchair called "Peg Leg"). He fails, but
gets away, Morales gets run over by a jeep and the three women
finally catch up with Malavasi at a beach, where they bury Malavasi
and One-Eye up to their necks and wait for the tide to come in. All
three women (and in some aspects, Billingsley) get what they came for
in the finale. Eddie Romero sprinkles many comedic moments in
this film, which at first plays rather uneasily (considering the
amount of bloody violence), but, as the film
moves along, becomes extremely funny. When Capt. Morales captures Jo
and Mai Ling, he kills all their female comrades by firing squad for
refusing to tell him the whereabouts of Ernesto, but spares Jo and
Mai Ling's lives by saying, "There's more than one way to skin a
pussy!" and then sending them to prison. We then see Morales'
true colors at the prison, where he and prison matron Ortega (Rita
Gomez) play S&M games and she calls Morales a "dog" and
makes him lick her. There's also a funny scene after the prison
breakout where Jo, Jackson and Mai Ling separately seduce Billingsley
all in the same night to find out the location of Malavasi and the
money (he tells all three of them, "It's just the three of us:
You, me and the money!) and they tie him up the next morning and take
off without him. Billingsley then joins forces with Capt. Morales (I
told you he was an opportunist). Billingsley also tries to flimflam
Malavasi (Sig Haig is hilarious throughout the whole film) by getting
him out of the country on a plane that literally falls apart on the
runway. The funniest running gag is Capt. Morales and his constant
need to get everything he does down on film. He has his lieutenant
take photos of him standing next to dead bodies, meeting the general,
getting beat up in a bar fight and even his own death. As he lies
dying on the pavement after the three girls have just run over him
with a jeep, he orders his lieutenant to take photos of him with his
final breath, by saying, "The camera, quickly, while we still
have light!" It's apparent John Ashley (who loved the
Philippines) was also having a great time. He gets to make out with
all three ladies, participate in some gunfights and even talks
directly to the audience in the beginning of the film, where he sets
up the plot of the film while surrounded by beautiful women. Not
surprising, since he also co-produced this with Romero. Quite bloody
in spots (there's a castration scene that's both funny and severe)
and entertaining as all hell. Seek this out. Also starring Angelo
Ventura, Alfonso Carvajal, Subas Herrero and Johnny Long. As I have
said before, SAVAGE SISTERS
has never been legally available in the U.S. on home video. The DVD-R
I viewed was a worn, but watchable, print struct directly from 35mm
elements. Originally released to theaters by American International
Pictures. The artwork for the posters and ads in black neighborhoods
featured Gloria Hendry front and center, while white neighborhoods
got Cheri Caffaro standing in the center. Rated R. UPDATE:
Eddie Romero passed away on March 28, 2013.
SAVAGE
VENGEANCE (1989) - Simply
horrid and shameless SOV rip-off of I
SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE (1978) which, believe it or not, also
stars Camille Keaton (here using the pseudonym "Linda
Lehl"). Keaton once again portrays a woman (this time named
Jennifer) who is raped in the woods by four men (it's quite confusing
as none of the men, nor Keaton, take their pants off). Five years
later, Jennifer is now a 29 year-old woman in law school. It seems
that after she was raped, she got revenge on the four men, killing
them all and found innocent by a jury when brought to trial. When
her law class discovers Jennifer's history, she and girlfriend Sam
(Linda Lyer) go away for a weekend to a cabin in the woods. When Sam
goes for a walk, she gets lost and ends up at the house of Dwayne
(Phil Newman, who looks like a deranged Conway Twitty), who proceeds
to rape her and then passes her to crazy friend Tommy (director
Donald Farmer), who we earlier see stab a girl in a bar. Tommy
knifes Sam in the vagina after she knees him in the nuts, killing
her. With Sam now dead, Dwayne and Tommy lure Jennifer over to
Dwayne's house, where they make her taste "pork belly pie"
(which contains the flesh of Sam) and then chase her through the
woods, where they rape her (again without taking off their pants).
Tommy cuts her across the chest with his knife and they leave her for
dead. Jennifer comes to later on (and her knife wound is gone!) and
flags down a passing car. Jennifer gets her revenge by using a
chainsaw to cut Dwayne's head in two and blows Tommy's balls off with
a sawed-off shotgun. This stupid, juvenile and cheap (not to
mention short at 65 minutes) SOV flick looks like it was thrown
together in two days. The obnoxious and irritating music score drones
so loud that it drowns out most of the badly-recorded dialogue.
The special effects are anything but special (the
chainsaw-to-the-head bit will make you howl at its cheesiness). For a
rape/revenge film, there's surprisingly very little nudity, just
flashes of breasts here and there. The rapes are very sterile, as
everyone leaves their clothes on and just dry-humps, so the sickos
out there expecting something graphic will be bitterly disappointed.
Donald Farmer, who started out by publishing the influential fanzine
The Splatter Times in the early 80's, made a career directing
terrible SOV films with titles like DEMON
QUEEN (1986), SCREAM DREAM
(1989), VAMPIRE COP
(1990), INVASION
OF THE SCREAM QUEENS (1992), AN
EROTIC
VAMPIRE IN PARIS
(2002), DORM OF THE DEAD
(2006), CHAINSAW CHEERLEADERS
(2008) and SHARK EXORCIST
(made in 2012, but not able to get a release until 2015!). As you can
see, he's still churning them out today. This DVD is part of Eden
Entertainment's badly-mastered series titled I
WILL DANCE ON YOUR GRAVE, which also includes Farmer's CANNIBAL
HOOKERS (1986), Raphael Nussbaum's LETHAL
VICTIMS (1987) and Tim Ritter's KILLING
SPREE (1986). While SAVAGE
VENGEANCE may be the best-looking of the bunch, that's not
saying much because it still looks like it was ported from a VHS
dupe. Scream Queen Melissa Moore has a cameo as a singer in a bar
band. Also starring Jack Clout and Bill Sweeney. An Eden
Entertainment DVD Release. Also available on DVD
by boutique label Massacre Video.
Not Rated.
SCALPS
(1987) - Here's something you don't see on my site often (or at
all): A gore Western. No, not a horror film set in a Western setting
(I've reviewed plenty of them), but an honest-to-goodness Western
with plenty of gore. During the Civil War, a squad of psychotic
Southern soldiers murder Indian chief Black Eagle and most of his
tribe (they shoot them in the head, stab them in the backs with
swords and even decapitate them) and then kidnap the Chief's
beautiful daughter, Yarin (Mapy Galan; CITY
OF LOST CHILDREN - 1995). She eventually escapes from the
psychotic gang, which makes the squad's leader, Gordon ("Albert
Farley"; who, using his real name, Alberto Farnese, appeared in NO
WAY OUT - 1973), very unhappy. He hires a halfbreed named
Hondo to track her. Yarin ends up at the ranch owned by Matt (Vassili
Karis; who, as "Vic Karis" starred in THE
ARENA - 1973), who cleans her up, cleans out her infected
eye and puts clothes on her back, yet she still tries
to kill him because he is a white man. We find out Matt's wife was
raped and killed by Indians, yet he still protects Yarin from Gordon
(he shoots and kills Hondo for being nosey) and his men. Matt was
once Gordon's lieutenant, but he quit because he got tired of all the
needless killing. Yarin and Matt begin to depend on each other and
they'll need the comraderie as Gordon and his squad surround Matt's
ranch. Matt and Yarin sneak out of the ranch and escape (Yarin scalps
one of Gordon's men and slits the throat of another when they make
their retreat), with Gordon and his men not far behind. Yarin
catches-up with the remaining survivors of her tribe and Matt must
fight a young buck to prove his worth. Matt does just that and he and
the tribe manage to thin Gordon's squad one man at a time, but Matt
is shot and seriously wounded, which slows their progress. They avoid
detection, which again pisses-off Gordon (he whips one of his own men
in anger). Matt makes a miraculous recovery (thanks to Yarin's Indian
medicine), but gets captured by Gordon and tortured by having two
hooks attached to his chest while Gordon's men tug at them with
ropes. Yarin goes on the warpath, scalping, skewering and blowing-up
Gordon's men, until only Gordon is left. We then learn the real truth
of how Matt's wife died and justice is done, leaving Yarin and Matt
to live a long and happy life. Directed by late Italian
sleasemeister Bruno Mattei (Using the pseudonym "Werner
Knox", which website IMDB misidentifies as Claudio Fragasso [MONSTER
DOG - 1985], who was Assistant Director on this film using
his normal pseudonym "Clyde Anderson" Why would someone be
the director and the assistant director on the same film? It makes no
sense.), SCALPS is bound to
upset anyone who whistles "Dixie" on a regular basis.
Southerners are portrayed as murderous, women-raping perverts who
think nothing of killing innocent Indian women and children and
proudly hang their severed heads on their horses. Since this is
an Italian film, it's an equal-opportunity offender, as most of the
Indians (actually Italians wearing greasepaint) are seen either
holding scalps or scalping every white man they encounter, whether
they are a threat or not. There's not much meat to the plot, which
was written by Mattei and Robert Di Girolamo (with a co-story credit
going to actor Richard Harrison [BLOOD
DEBTS - 1983], who doesn't appear in this film). It's just
basically a long chase film, but the final 30 minutes is a non-stop
gorefest. Gordon performs a nasty scalping on a helpless Indian;
Yarin shoots people through the neck and other body parts with her
bow (she even blows one guy apart with an arrow/dynamite combo);
Gordon shoots his own wife in the head for betraying him and Matt
gets his ultimate payback by scalping Gordon, when he learns that
Gordon, who was Matt's wife's father, killed his own daughter when he
tried to rape her, then blamed her death on the Indians. The hardest
scene to watch is when Matt has two hooks (which look like eagle
claws) pierce his chest and Gordon's guys pull on them in opposite
directions, kind of what happened to Richard Harris in A
MAN CALLED HORSE (1970). The easiest parts to watch in this
film are the plentiful nude scenes of the beautiful Mapy Galan. Bruno
Mattei, better known for his crazy horror and action films like RATS:
NIGHT OF TERROR (1983) and ROBOWAR
(1988), made this film back-to-back with his only other western, WHITE
APACHE (1987). I'm a big fan of Westerns (especially
Spaghetti Westerns) and this film would make a great companion piece
with CUT THROATS NINE
(1972), a Spanish Western with plenty of gory scenes. Mattei's death
in 2007 brought an end to Italian exploitation cinema (Yeah, I know
Dario Argento is still making films, but it's just not the same
thing, if you know what I mean.), as he was the only living director
making cheap Italian gore films on a regular basis (ZOMBIES:
THE BEGINNING - 2007 was his last film). Also starring
Charlie Bravo (NIGHT
OF THE WEREWOLF - 1980), Beny Cardosa (BARBED
WIRE DOLLS - 1976) and Emilio Linder (SLUGS:
THE MOVIE - 1987). An Imperial
Entertainment Home Video Release. Also released on Spanish and
German DVD. Not Rated.
SIMON
- KING OF THE WITCHES (1971) -
Simon Sinestrari (Andrew Prine) is a homeless warlock (he lives in a
storm drain) who gets picked up by the cops on a vagrancy charge.
While in jail, he meets Turk (George Paulsin), who later introduces
him to Hercules
(Gerald York), a rich socialite who gives Simon money to make
talismans. Simon becomes a society darling, performing magic tricks
and reading tarot cards for the elite. Linda (Brenda Scott, Prine's
real-life wife at the time), the District Attorney's daughter, falls
hard for Simon and it seems he and Linda were lovers in a previous
life (at least that's what Simon tells her). When snooty socialite
Colin (Angus Duncan, the evil Dr. John in SWEET
SUGAR [1972]) pays Simon with a bad check for a tarot
reading, Simon makes a wager with Hercules that he can kill Colin
within two days by using "witchcraft only". Simon takes
Turk under his wing as his apprentiss and they both view a glowing
red orb floating in Simon's underground lair, but Simon chases it
away with his "powers". Simon makes a crude wooden cross
and attaches the bad check (along with a live chicken) to it and we
next see the red orb appear outside Colin's house, where a huge
flower pot falls on Colin's head, killing him. With the money he wins
from the wager with Hercules, Simon moves out of the storm drain into
a large basement apartment (When Simon draws a pentagram on the
basement wall, the landlord thinks he is Jewish!). Simon has sex with
Linda after performing a spell over her (they are both naked and
Simon keeps repeating, "Electric, charge! Magnetic,
charge!") and Hercules is visited by the red orb, scaring him
into making Simon remove the (imaginary?) curse. Simon and Turk then
make a visit to a fake suburban witch's coven (run by Andy Warhol
regular Ultra Violet), where Simon makes everyone look like a fool.
The police raid Simon's basement apartment, thanks to Linda's father
(Norman Burton), but all the cops find are some legal herbs and a
metal rod that contains a mysterious force (it could it just has a
strong magnetic force). Simon helps all the drug users get revenge on
narc John Peter (Richard Ford Grayling), stabbing him to death while
performing one of his rituals. It all bites Simon in the ass, though,
as the town's drug supply dries up and the addicts take it out on
Simon. This early 70's exploitationer was given an advertising
campaign to market it as a horror film, but that couldn't be farther
from the truth. This is really a
wicked
little black comedy (Prine even talks directly to the viewer in the
very first scene) where we have to decide whether Simon is the real
thing or a tricky charlatan. The funniest scene come when Turk (who
had Simon perform a love spell for him, after Simon makes him
jerk-off in a cup) complains to Simon that he has an erection that
won't go away. Simon come up with a comical and novel way for Turk to
lose his hardon (it involves a hankerchief tied to his penis and a
knife). This is Andrew Prine's film all the way, as he injects a bit
of scoundrel, con man and rogue into his character. As the film
progresses, Simon's true colors come to light, but we are never sure
if he's a fake or the real magilla. Real or not, one gets the sense
that Simon believes in everything he is doing and Prine conveys a
sense of playful danger in every scene he is in. Director Bruce
Kessler (KILLERS THREE -
1968; DEATH MOON - 1978)
rightfully leaves the viewer to decide if a lot of what is happening
on-screen is real or just in Simon's fertile imagination (An in-joke
has Simon carrying a wooden crate marked "Kessler Chemical"
when he moves into the basement apartment). The screenplay, by Robert
Phippeny, loses it's way in the final third, when it turns into a
narcotics and police corruption drama and the focus is taken off
Simon. Still, it's a pretty entertaining blast from the past and a
rare chance to see Andrew Prine in a starring role. He was pretty
much in demand during the 70's, taking starring roles in THE
CENTERFOLD GIRLS (1974), BARN
OF THE NAKED DEAD (1974), GRIZZLY
(1976) and THE EVIL
(1977) and, even though he still acts today, it's usually in bit
parts or as secondary characters. Associate Producer Thomas J.
Schmidt would next direct GIRLS ON THE ROAD
(1972) for Executive Producer Joe Solomon's Fanfare Corporation (THE
LOSERS - 1970), who also released this film. Also starring
William Martel, Michael C. Ford, Allyson Ames, Helen Jay and Lee J.
Lambert. Originally released on VHS by Electric Video in 1982 and
later released on VHS
by Unicorn Video.
Also available on DVD from Dark Sky Films and on Blu-Ray
from Code Red. Rated R. "Death is only temporary. Think
about that for a while."
THE
SINFUL DWARF (1974)
-
This sick, sadistic Danish production could never be made in
todays politically correct climate. It treats women like dirt,
contains brutal torture scenes and is definitely not for the faint of
heart. In other words, I loved it! Peter and Mary (Tony Eades &
Anne Sparrow), a down on their luck couple, rent a cheap room on the
top floor of a converted nightclub run by the sadistic Lila Lash
(Clara Keller) and her deformed midget son Olaf (Torben, who is a
sight to behold). Lila and Olaf run a prostitution ring in the attic,
where kidnapped girls are kept in check with unhealthy doses of
heroin and nightly beatings. Mary notices a wide variety of faceless
men entering the attic at all hours of the day
and night and becomes suspicious. When she tells Tony what she has
seen, he tells her to mind her own business because he is more
worried about finding a job than losing the only place they can
afford to stay. Lila and Olaf set their sights on adding Mary to
their stable but first must figure out a way to get Tony out of the
picture. Lila sets Tony up with a job in a toy shop run by a fat slob
named Santa Claus, which is actually a front for a heroin smuggling
ring. Santa sends Tony (who is unaware of the illegal activities) to
France, giving Lila and Olaf the chance to kidnap Mary. They leave a
note in the room in which Mary tells Tony that she is leaving him.
Meanwhile, Mary is chained naked in the attic, shot full of heroin
and vaginally penetrated with the handle of Olafs cane. She is
then raped by one of Lilas customers. Tony returns from France
and finds the note. Feeling dejected, he goes back to the toy shop to
work off his worries. While working in the basement, he overhears
Santa and Olaf talking about the heroin and prostitute operations.
Remembering what Mary told him, Tony goes to the police and they bust
Santa Claus and raid Lilas house. Tony finds Mary and three
other naked girls in a hidden room in the attic. When he realizes
what has been done to Mary, he shoots Lila (with a gun given to him
by a cop!), killing her. Olaf jumps out of the attic window to avoid
police capture and dies from his wounds. This sleazy bit of
exploitation is really rough stuff. You can actually feel yourself
getting dirty as you are viewing it. The problem is that this is
well-made sleaze, which makes you all the more uncomfortable. When
Lila, who was once a nightclub performer before being scarred in a
fire, sings cabaret songs (with Olaf accompanying on the piano) for
her elderly drunk female friend, the scenes are intercut with the
captive girls being whipped, raped and going through withdrawal.
These scenes are effective and quite unnerving. The sex scenes are
near-pornographic, showing both male and female full frontal nudity
and simulated sex that nearly looks real (as a matter of fact, this
was actually shot as a hardcore porn film and was edited down to a
soft-X for theatrical play in most countries by Harry Novak and his
Boxoffice International Pictures). The real find in this film is
Torben, who, to the best of my knowledge, has never made another film
(He was actually a host of a Swedish TV kiddie show and made at least
one more porno film besides this one!). His many close-ups reveal
grotesque features which even the best makeup artists could not hope
to duplicate. He has a diabolical laugh that is goosebumb-inducing
and one gets the feeling that he is not acting when he relishes
injecting his captives with drugs, spying on Mary and Peter making
love and playing with his many wind-up toys (a motif throughout the
film). This is one truly frightening guy, regardless of his three
foot frame. In closing, let me say that you will sit spellbound while
viewing this film and hate yourself for watching it after it ends.
How many films can make that statement? If you are daring, this sick
shocker (also known as ABDUCTED
BRIDE)
can be purchased for ten bucks from Something
Weird Video.
Directed by Eduardo Fuller (CYNTHIA'S
SISTER - 1972),
who
uses the name "Vidal Raski" here. Once available as part
of Severin Films' THE
EURO-SLEAZE COLLECTION,
a three-film, three-disc DVD Box Set (long OOP). The
hardcore version and the soft-X version are both now available as
separate DVDs from Severin
Films (Severin released the hardcore version on sub-label
Private Screenings to distance themselves from controversy). UPDATE:
Severin Films now offers both the hardcore and softcore versions on
one Blu-Ray. Not
Rated
and X-Rated.
SINNER'S
BLOOD (1970) - Here's a film
that screams out "Independent Production". 80% of the
personnel both in front of and behind the camera never went on to do
anything else in the film business (or before this film, either),
including the director and those that did continue in the business
had some unusual credits (to say the least). Here's just a taste:
Co-screenwriter (who refused to have his name put on this film) and
Assistant Director Peter R.D. Deyell (Lee Stone gets sole
screenwriting credit on-screen; his only film credit) went on to
become an Associate producer on THE
CLONUS HORROR (1979) and First Assistant Director on the Sho
Kosugi martial arts flick PRAY
FOR DEATH (1985). Co-Producer/Stunt
Coordinator/Second Unit Director Michael Rae (who Produced this film
with actor Walter Robles, who appears in this film) went on to direct
one of Charles Band's best films of the late 80's, LASERBLAST
(1978; his only directorial credit; as a matter of fact, his only
other credit, period). The fact that you can't take your eyes off the
film even though it is a total mess, just makes the film all the more
mysterious. And the "What The Fuck?!?" ending only adds to
the film's mystery. Here's the film in a nutshell (most of the actors
and the characters they play are guesses by me since the film doesn't
give us that information, but I am 90% sure of my choices). When
sisters Penelope (Nanci Sheldon; her only other credit is the porn
film THE POLITICIANS a.k.a. NAKED...ARE
THE CHEATERS - 1970) and Patricia's (Cristy Beal; her only
credit) parents die in a car crash, they are sent off to live with
their uber-bossy Aunt and lecherous Uncle (who acts shy, but he loves
to watch beautiful girls undress). The Aunt and Uncle meet the
sisters at the train station, where the flirtatious Penelope (who
likes to be called Penny, so that is what I will call her from now
on) locks eyes on town hunk Gentry (Stephen Jacques; his only credit)
and we know that a romance will develop in the near future. Once they
get to the Aunt and Uncle's home, the sisters meets their obviously
retarded cousin Aubrey (John Talt, who is truly amazing here; his
only other credit is as Set Technician on FLESH
GORDON - 1974); he only sports a pair of white cutoff shorts
(throughout the ENTIRE film!), who clumsily carries their luggage to
their room. They also meet their normal (well, nearly normal) cousin
Edwina (Julie Connors; COUNT
YORGA, VAMPIRE
- 1970; she quit acting in 1972 after using numerous psyeudonyms and
getting nowhere), who welcomes the sisters with open arms (She really
is a nice person, at least until she tries to force herself on
Patricia for some lesbian action later in the film). When Aubrey
accidentally spills some of the things out of Patricia's suitcases
and locks eyes on her, he no longer looks at her like a cousin
anymore (you'll find out why soon). The Aunt really is a bossy bitch
and treats her husband and Aubrey like trash, which might be the
reason the way they are. We are then introduced to Zack (Parker
Herriott; his only credit) and his estranged father, who happens to
be the Preacher in the town. Zack wants his father to be more
assertive (even with him), but the Preacher is the rather timid type,
which is why he and Zach don't get along. We then watch as Penny's
Uncle watches her undress and he swings the bedroom door to act like
he is surprised to see he taking off her clothes, but Penny acts like
she doesn't mind and tells her Uncle he's more than welcome to stay,
because she is not embarassed at all to let people watch her undress.
The Uncle makes up a lame excuse and leaves the room. But that
doesn't stop Aubrey from watching her undress through a peephole
(just above a painting of a doll; that must be some type of
symbolism, but the film is so obtuse, I failed to make a connection).
When his mother asks Aubrey to go to the store to pick up some soap
for Penny and Patricia, he is playfully harassed by Zack and Gentry
because Aubrey is holding a page from a magazine showing a naked
girl. Gentry and Zack then ride their motorcycles (not hogs, just
regular motorcycles) to visit Penny and Patricia. Penny hops on the
back of Gentry's bike to do some "sightseeing" (in other
words, ball in the woods), while Zack and Patricia stay on the porch
to learn more about each other (another romance in bloom). The next
time we see Penny, she is asking her Uncle to unhook her bra from the
back (she loves to play with his emotions) and then takes a shower
with him in the bathroom; eventually she pulls him in the shower with
her (but we never see what happens; we can only guess). We then watch
members of a local motorcycle gang (again no hogs, just regular
motorcycles), where the overweight leader, Bluto Dangerfield (I have
no idea who portrays him, but he wears a red tee-shirt with the word
"MONSTER" on it) and other members watch two other members
beat the crap out of each other (all because one member threw a rock
at the other!), with the loser knocked unconscious, while the winner
is congratulated by the rest of the gang. In one of the film's most
unbelievable moments (The film becomes extremely weird after this),
Zack and Gentry agree to join the gang and they enter the town to
start harassing everyone. The Shefiff pulls out a rifle, but Bluto
and his gang make fun of him and take the rifle away from him. It is
at this time the Preacher decides to grow a set of balls and
chastizes the whole gang, including his son. Zack is quite proud of
him, but since he is now a member of the gang, he must leave with
them or lose face (now who is being the weenie?). As the Sheriff
leaves in his car, the Preacher is hit from behind with a pipe by the
creep member of the motorcycle gang who won the fight before (his
name is slang for a knife, but the sound is so bad, it is hard to
make out, so I'll call him Jim). The Preacher looks seriously injured
(the film's bloodiest moment), so the female flock tend to his
wounds. After the aforementioned lesbian encounter between Edwina and
Patricia, Aubrey watches it through the peephole and becomes very
angry. When Edwina leaves the room, Aubrey tries to rape Patricia,
but he can't get it up, so he runs out of the house and just keeps
running until he has nothing left in him. Seems Aubrey has settled in
a good hiding area where the motorcycle gang are holding an orgy. He
watches as Penny spikes Gentry's drink with way too much acid and
Gentry takes off on his motorcycle
with Penny on the back. Gentry begins to have a bad trip, so Penny
jumps off the bike and Jim drives his bike into a ravine, the bike
landing on top of him and exploding, killing him. Penny runs back to
the gang and tells them that Gentry is dead, unaware that Aubrey is
still there and knows exactly what happened. Jim (Buddy Arett) finds
Aubrey and stabs him in the stomach while the rest of the gang rides
away and Jim sexually assaults Penny with a knife to her breast (the
same scene the film opens with). Jim tells Penny that he loved Gentry
(as in homosexual love) and that "all women are dirty".
When Zack and Patricia learn of Gentry's death when a seriously
injured Aubrey makes it to his house and they race to the scene to
save Penny, we are treated to one of the most "What the
Fuck?!?" moments in film history, as Jim and a few members of
the motorcycle gang are dressed in hospital scrubs and Penny is their
patient. Jim says he knows how to fix Penny and asks for his knife.
Then the film just ends. It's obvious the first and only time
director Neil Douglas had no idea how to make a film, as it is
nothing but a bunch of vignettes hardly connected at all, which makes
it a hoot and a half to watch. Who needs acid when we have SINNER'S
BLOOD? The first time I watched this film was on the Genesis
Home Video VHS of the film, but the tape broke ten minutes in
and absolutely ruined my VCR (Genesis was not known for turning out
quality product). Luckily, Code Red offers a widescreen
anamorphic DVD (taken from the only surviving 35mm print) which
also contains a fullscreen 3/4" tape master version that
contains an extra scene. The biggest difference in the film is that
the widescreen version only offers a card insert of the film's title
(which makes it look like it was retitled from something else), but
the 3/4" tape master offers the full cast & crew credits,
but doesn't offer any character information that the cast played
(Except for John Talt as "Aubrey"). The extra scene adds
nothing to the film, so watch the widescreen version, even though it
has its share of emulsion scratches. This is one film that will leave
your brain twirling after watching it, so if you are already high on
something, DO NOT watch this film. Nearly everyone in this film
(besides Zack and Patricia) are scumbags, so don't go into this film
thinking that you are going to end up feeling good. All you will be
left feeling is confused, but in a good way. The DVD opens with a
dedication to the late Sage "Moonblood" Stallone, who
absolutely loved the character of of Aubrey. Enough to let William
Olsen and Code Red use his 35mm print for this DVD. Sage Stallone
died of a drug overdose soon after. Most of the footage in this film
was used in the hardcore porn film HARD RIDERS (1973). Also
starring Dennis McKenna, Ron Fisher, Drucilla Hoy (THE
CORPSE GRINDERS - 1971), Justin Wells and Joe Stead. A Code
Red DVD Release. Rated R.
SIX
PACK ANNIE (1975) - Cornpone
Southern hospitality sexploitationer with strong (but dimwitted) lead
women characters. 'Sixpack' Annie Bodine (Lindsay Bloom; COVER
GIRL MODELS - 1975) and best friend Mary Lou (Jana Bellan; THE
MURDER GANG - 1976) work at Aunt Tess' (Danna Hansen)
country diner; that is whenever they're not drinking (Annie keeps a
well-stocked cooler full of cans of Miller beer in her pickup truck)
or screwing (Annie's boyfriend Billy Joe is played by a baby-faced
Bruce Boxleitner, in his feature film debut). When Aunt Tess learns
that she may lose her diner because she can't pay the mortgage, Annie
and Mary Lou must find a way to get hold of $5641.87 within seven
days to save the diner from foreclosure. In between fighting off the
advances of lecherous, bumbling fat Sheriff Waters (Joe Higgins), who
offers Annie the money if she'll marry him (turns out he doesn't have
a pot to piss in and he only wanted to get into her cut-offs) or
trying to stay away from the always-horny Bustis (Larry Mahon), Annie
and Mary Lou travel to Miami to get the money from Annie's rich
sister, Flora (Louisa Moritz; NEW
YEAR'S EVIL - 1980), only to discover that Flora is a gold
digger (in other words, a prostitute), who has less money than Annie.
Annie takes Flora's advice and goes looking for a sugar daddy, with
Mary Lou as her "manager" (They shop for clothes at a
Fredericks Of Hollywood outlet and the inexperienced Mary Lou
interviews prospective sugar daddies by asking them questions like,
"Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Communist
Party?"). After a disastrous first attempt at finding a sugar
daddy (the guy dresses like Napoleon and wants Annie to kiss his
feet!), Annie meets the seemingly rich Mr. O'Meyer (Ray Danton;
director of DEATHMASTER
- 1972; CRYPT OF
THE LIVING DEAD - 1973 and PSYCHIC
KILLER - 1975) at a bar (He tells Annie that the
"O" stands for "Oscar" and she falls for it!),
while Mary Lou takes a job at a cocktail lounge (she is forced to
dress like a sexy rat!). Mr. O'Meyer turns out to be nothing but a
conman who only wants to get into Annie's panties. After getting what
he wants, O'Meyer steals all Annie's money and disappears., forcing
Annie and Mary Lou to return home. Just when everything looks
hopeless, the diner is saved in the nick of time when a
previously-thought worthless bauble Annie picked up on her travels
turns out to be extremely valuable. While nothing but a series
of pretty tame sex scenes, fish-out-of water sequences and ribald HEE-HAW-style
humor (the camera often cuts away to two old-timers sitting in the
diner [played by Doodles Weaver and Ronald Marriott] as they tell
each other double entendre sex jokes), mixed with funny cameo bits
(Stubby Kaye as a traveling salesman who has nearly anything you
could possibly want hidden somewhere on his body; Richard Kennedy as
a drunk Texan in a Miami bar; Pedro Gonzalez Gonzales as a Miami
bartender; Sid Shelton as one of Flora's customers), SIX PACK ANNIE
is still an enjoyable romp, even if some of the puns and visual jokes
are groan-inducing. I found myself laughing out loud on several
occasions against my better judgment, such as when Annie and Mary Lou
unintentionally pick up two gay hitchhikers on their way to Miami or
Flora farting when she gets nervous. Both Lindsay Bloom and Jana
Bellan are fine as the sex-starved, but strong-willed Southern belles
who get into more comical scrapes than the Three Stooges. All the
nude scenes come courtesy of Ms. Bloom (Bruce Boxleitner also appears
bare-assed), though Ms. Bellan shows off her fine assets in some
form-fitting outfits. The standout here is Richard Kennedy (a.k.a.
"Wolfgang Roehm" in the first two ILSA
films) as the rambunctious, rich Texan drunk Jack Whittlestone.
Whenever he's on-screen, you can't help but laugh. Director/producer
John C. Broderick (BAD GEORGIA ROAD-
1976; THE WARRIOR
AND THE SORCERESS - 1984), who directed this using the
pseudonym "Graydon F. David", doesn't offer anything new
here (the jokes are as old as a baggy-pants burlesque routine), but
the film has an infectious, innocent charm (even the nude scenes
don't feel salicious) that makes the whole story (script by Norman
Winski, David Kidd and Wil David) nothing but good, harmless fun. I
enjoyed it quite a bit. Billy Barty puts in an uncredited
appearance as a pie-carrying little person in the film's closing
shot. Also starring Vince Barnett, Steve Randall, Donald Elson, Oscar
Cartier and Montana Smoyer. As far as I could tell, this American
International Pictures theatrical release never had a legitimate U.S.
home video release in any form. A lot of gray market sellers have it
available on DVD-R. Rated R.
SLAVES
OF LOVE (1969) -
Impossibly cheap sexploitation flick, directed by the late Charles
Nizet, maker of the elusive VOODOO
HEARTBEAT (1972) and the insane THE
POSSESSED! (1974). Detectives Joe (Peter Owen) and Troy
(Lloyd Davish) fly their plane out of Tahiti to help a client, when
their plane's instrumentation is jammed and they are forced to crash
land on an uncharted island occupied by machine gun-toting Amazons in
miniskirts. They are taken prisoner and marched through the hot sun
by three of the women and camp out when the sun goes down. At
midnight, one of the girls makes love to Joe next to a roaring fire.
The next day, after another long walk, Joe and Troy are put on a boat
(one of the women says, "We've captured some game.") and
watch the three women strip naked and wade
in the water. More women show up and shed their clothes, too (Where
is this island?). All Joe and Troy can do is watch because "The
ugliest bitch you ever saw" is standing next to them, ready to
use her machine gun if they move. Joe and Troy overpower the
"ugly bitch" and Troy shoots one of the women, killing her
(beats me why he did it). The skipper arrives and gets the drop on
Troy and they are transported by boat to another island where they
are led to the futuristic (for 1969) base of the Chief (Tina Brown).
Troy is tortured and given thirty lashes for killing the woman. Joe
is told by the Chief he must make love to all the women and herself
(Where is this island?) and is given a love potion to help him out.
More women dance around topless while Joe watches in a drugged-out
haze. As Joe is making love to five women, Troy is getting whipped on
his back until it bleeds. When Joe is unable to satisfy all the
women, the Chief orders her girls to kill him and Troy. But, the
women who was whipping Troy has secretly made a deal with him to
escape as long as they take her with them. As they escape, Troy and
the woman are killed and Joe gets away and tells his story to some
friends in a bar. They don't believe him, even though he has a bullet
hole in his arm. This film is just an excuse to show as much
naked female flesh as it possibly can. Nothing more, nothing less.
Director Nizet (who was murdered in Brazil in 2003) just keeps
showing shot after shot of naked, unaugmented women swimming in the
water, lying topless on a boat soaking up the sun or frolicking on
land while awful library music plays in the background (including a
Dixieland version of "Will The Circle Be Unbroken"!). Much
of the film is shot silent and most of it is narrated by Joe, who
tells the entire story in flashback at a bar, so we know he survives.
I have the feeling that Mr. Nizet knew a lot of strippers, because
there are many scenes of women dancing in their g-strings (although
the women are naked, they are filmed in such a way to avoid shots of
pubic hair, typical of 60's sexploitationers), gyrating to jazzy
music. There's not much meat to this film, but I doubt there was
meant to be. SLAVES
OF LOVE
is nothing more than a nudie show with a bare (no pun intended) plot
to hold it together. If you can live with dialogue like, "They
live underground and thrive on sex!", you may find some
enjoyment in this little-seen relic. Just a year later, hardcore porn
would legally arrive in theaters, making softcore features like this
almost obsolete. This may have also been released to theaters under
the title WILDERNESS
LOVE SLAVES, but more infomation is needed before I can
confirm it. The next film Charles Nizet made after this one was THE
RAVAGER (1970), another softcore film with a much harder
edge. Also starring Sally Blair, Mary Horton, Cary St. Clair and Tina
Vienna. This was a very early (1978) VHS release, from Media
Home Entertainment. Not Rated.
SORORITY
BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-O-RAMA
(1987) - This is one of those films that was a staple on USA
Network's UP ALL NIGHT during the late 80's to early 90's
(minus all the nudity and bad language, of course). Three college
nerds spy on the Tri Delta sorority's pledge initiation night,
watching the sorority girls paddle the behinds of pledges Taffy
(Brinke Stevens) and Lisa (Michelle Bauer) and then squirting whipped
cream on them. The three guys get caught watching Taffy and Lisa
taking a shower by pledge mistress Babs (Robin Rochelle) and she
makes them go with the two pledges and break into the local bowling
alley (that's in the middle of a mall). They have to
bring back a bowling trophy as proof of the break-in. If they do,
Taffy and Lisa will become part of the sorority and Babs will not
call the cops on the three guys. They break into the bowling alley,
not aware that Babs and two cohorts are watching their every move on
the security cameras. They also meet Spider (Linnea Quigley), who has
already broken in and is robbing all the cash registers and video
game coin boxes. The group steals a trophy, accidentally drop it and
a wisecracking imp escapes from it and offers everyone one wish
apiece. Jimmy (Hal Havins) wishes for a pile of gold, Keith (John
Stuart Wildman) wishes for Lisa to have sex with him and Taffy wishes
to be prom queen. All three wishes backfire rather quickly as the imp
possesses Bab's two cohorts and then begin killing the cast. Jimmy is
decapitated, his head used as a bowling ball on one of the alleys.
Keith gets his face deep-fried and Taffy has her bones dislocated
from their joints. Spider and Calvin (Andras Jones) join forces and
with some information garnered from the mall's deaf janitor, they try
to put the imp back in the trophy while trying to avoid the possessed
sorority demonesses. They succeed, but one thing really bothers me
after watching this film: Why were two gorgeous women trying to get
into a sorority that only has three members? It's no wonder the boys
call it "Felta Delta". Their parties must be very
intimate. An early directorial credit for David DeCoteau (DREAMANIAC
- 1986; LEECHES -
2003), this low-budget horror comedy (that actually got a theatrical
release) is an OK time-waster if you happen to be in the right frame
of mind (i.e. stoned). There's a running gag where the mall's deaf
janitor (the late George
"Buck" Flower, using his "C.D. LaFleur"
pseudonym) keeps getting locked in a closet. He knows all about the
imp and his interrogation by Spider and Calvin, where he doesn't hear
the questions correctly, is the film's comedic high point. Brinke
Stevens and Michelle Bauer (here billed as "Michelle
McClellen") are naked or half-dressed for most of their screen
time, but Linnea Quigley (unfortunately) stays clothed throughout.
The imp (voiced by Michael Sonye as "Dukey Flyswatter", who
is made to sound like Audrey in the remake of LITTLE
SHOP OF HORRORS - 1986) is the weakest part of the film,
cracking third-rate jokes while most of the cast dies. If you're
looking for blood and gore, this is not the film for you as there is
no blood whatsoever, just the aforementioned rolling head and frier
scalding. Still, it's an enjoyable romp, livened by frequent nudity
and George "Buck" Flower's all-too-brief appearance. I dare
you not to laugh out loud when he says, "God-damn, that fucking
imp!" just before he dies. SORORITY
BABES is also known as THE IMP.
Charles Band was (the uncredited) executive producer. Also starring
Kathi O'Brecht and Carla Baron as Bab's two sorority cohorts. An
Amazing Fantasy Entertainment VHS Release. Now available on Blu-Ray
from Full Moon Video. Rated R.
SOUTH
SEAS MASSACRE (1974/1976) -
Modern day (well, for 1976, that is) Filipino pirate flick with a
heavy dose of sleaze. Pirates take over a luxury cruise ship, robbing
the passengers of all their money and jewels and raping all the
pretty females they come in contact with. Also on-board is Interpol
agent George (Junero Jennings; SUPERCHICK
- 1973) and his prisoner Steve (Troy Donahue; THE
LOVE THRILL MURDERS - 1971; in an embarrassing,
career-destroying role), who are handcuffed to each other. Rather
than fighting the pirates, they jump overboard and wash ashore a
tropical island, where George and Steve are met by a tribe of natives
and taken to their chief, Siram (Vic Vargas; INTRUSION:
CAMBODIA - 1981), who welcomes them to the island (he
doesn't seem too concerned that they are still handcuffed to each
other!). Siram introduces the pair to his beautiful daughters, Sari
and Silima (the chief is way too trusting!) and later on George and
Steve get
into a knock-down, drag-out fight (while still handcuffed to each
other), which forces Siram to demand that George release Steve from
his shackles to restore "harmony" to their peaceful island.
George reluctantly agrees (Where is Steve going to go? They're on an
uncharted island!) and Siram makes both George and Steve honorary
members of the tribe, even going as far as to offering them their
choice of woman to spend the rest of their lives with (Steve replies,
"Only one?"). Steve picks the beautiful Myla (Eva Reyes),
while George sets his sights on Sari. The harmony of the peaceful
island suddenly comes to an end when the pirates land on the island
with plans of making it their home base. Siram and his tribe offer
the same deal to the pirates as they did to George and Steve, but
it's not long before the pirates begin raping the native women
(including Myla and Sari) and gunning-down the native men. Steve and
George put aside their hatred for each other (it's revealed that
Steve killed George's brother in self-defense while working in a
mine, but George refuses to believe that his brother was responsible
for a cave-in that killed several people) and work together to free
the natives once Silima is killed and pirate leader Marco (Eddie
Garcia) demands to marry Sari. Thanks to a cache of weapons left on
the island during World War II, Steve and George lead the natives on
a bloody revenge spree, shooting and slicing their way through the
pirates until they are all dead. But victory comes with a deadly
price. Though pretty slow moving for the first half, the film
picks up considerable steam once the pirates set foot on the island.
Director/producer Pablo Santiago (LITTLE
CHRISTMAS TREE - 1977), working with a screenplay by Tommy
C. David and Filipino genre stalwart Leo Martinez (ENTER
THE NINJA - 1981; CAGED FURY
- 1983), offers copious male and female nudity (some full frontal
from both sexes) and some surprisingly graphic gore, including a
bloody decapitation by machete, various blood-gushing stabbings and
gory bullet hits. The film's biggest weakness is the choppy editing
by future director Segundo Ramos (DEADLY
COMMANDO - 1982; DEATH
RAIDERS - 1984), as scenes begin and end with little rhyme
or reason, especially the sudden appearance of the pirates on the
island (Where did they come from?) or the equally sudden and
confusing appearance of Navy rescuers in the finale (How did they
know to go there?). The film is also a little too rape-happy for its
own good, as every woman is either slapped, punched or kicked while
having their clothes ripped off and raped. It gets tiring after a
while and much of it reeks of overkill (unless you're the type of
sick bastard that gets off on this). Troy Donahue is simply awful as
Steve and he plays his character as an aloof asshole who seems to
side with whomever has the upper hand at the time, even going as far
as to whip George with twenty lashes on Marco's orders. If Donahue
were any stiffer, he would be sprouting branches and giving the rest
of the cast splinters. Still, SOUTH
SEAS MASSACRE should appeal to fans of sleazy entertainment,
thanks to the plentiful nudity and bloody violence. Made in 1974, but
not released until 1976. Also starring Lito Anzures, Vic Varrion,
Ding Salvador, Benny May, Edwin Perry and the TNT Boys stunt team.
Originally available on VHS from Prism
Entertainment and not available on DVD. Not Rated.
SS
EXPERIMENT LOVE CAMP (1976) - The
Italians, of all people, should be ashamed of themselves for turning
out degrading exploitation crap like this. The story concerns a
group of women who are taken to a Nazi concentration camp where they
are sexually and physically abused much to the delight of the
sadistic doctors and guards. If your idea of fun is watching women
forced to have sex with Nazi soldiers, tortured with scalding and
freezing water, given electrical shock and thrown into ovens (while
their bodies twitch), then I can give you the the phone number of a
good psychiatrist. A slew of these films were made in the country
shaped like a boot after the success of ILSA,
SHE-WOLF OF THE SS
(1974), and the fact that they were in league with the Germans during
World War II, makes these films all the more unconscienable. It's
crammed with full frontal nudity, simulated sex, torture galore and
European women with hairy armpits (yech!). Why anyone would bother
viewing this abomination is beyond me. Also known as SS
EXPERIMENT (from Wizard
Video in one of their eye-catching big boxes), SS
EXPERIMENT CAMP and CAPTIVE
WOMEN II
(available under this title from T-Z Video for $9.99). Under any
title this film still panders to the lowest common denomination. Stay
away! Starring Mircha Carven, Paola Corazzi and Giorgio Cerioni.
Directed by Sergio Garrone (HANGING
FOR DJANGO -1969; THE
STRANGER'S GUNDOWN - 1969; THE
HAND THAT FEEDS THE DEAD - 1974; SS
CAMP 5: WOMAN'S
HELL
- 1977). Garrone also wrote the screenplays to THE
BIG BUST-OUT (1972) and HELL
PENITENTIARY (1983) Unrated.
SS
HELL CAMP (1977) - I've been
reviewing a ton of Italian genre films lately and most of them are
quite good, if not totally screwed-up. Now I'm reviewing the dark
side of Italian filmmaking: The Naziploitation genre. I say "dark
side" because Italy should know better than to churn out
countless film that exploited this subject matter. After all, they
sided with the Nazis during World War II and were responsible
for hundreds of thousand deaths, many of those victims being their
own citizens. It's not only in bad taste to make this kind of
film (and we all know that I love bad taste), but it's also a slap in
the face to those who spent years in concentration camps and watched
as family members and friends were being tortured or slaughtered. Can
you imagine the uproar that would develop if Israel made films like
this? You may say, "Hey Fred, lighten up!" but I firmly
believe there are lines that should not be crossed. I know there are
fans of this genre and I'm not knocking you. But I understand the
other side of the fence, where millions of people were killed in the
Holocaust and the neverending pain it caused, even after 70+ years
after it happened. To make films that exploit these emotions is
unforgivable, in my opinion, but I feel it is my duty to review at
least a couple of these films (I reviewed SS
EXPERIMENT CAMP - 1976 [See above] way back in the late '80s
and I haven't watched or reviewed another film in this genre...until now.).
The film opens with German Dr. Ellen Kratsch (Macha Magall; SS
GIRLS - 1977) injecting a hairy ape-man called "The
Beast" ("Sal Boris" a.k.a. Salvatore Baccaro; STARCRASH
- 1979) with a virility serum and subjecting a naked virginal female
"non-collaborator" to the naked Beast's charms. Dr. Kratsch
hopes that the Beast will procreate with these women, getting them
pregnant and spawning a new kind of soldier that is strong and will
do the Nazi's bidding, no questions asked. What Dr. Kratsch doesn't
count on are the Beast's natural instincts, as he fucks the poor
virgin every way to Sunday, grunting and drooling as he forces his
way inside her and he eventually kills her, but it doesn't stop him
from continuing to screw her! Even so, Dr. Kratsch seems satisfied
with her experiment and even gets turned-on.
We then watch as a couple of partisans invade a Nazi outpost
and blow up a train full of German soldiers and a bridge
essential to the Nazis for supplies and ammo. German soldier Capt.
Hardinghauser (Kim Gatti; a Unit Publicist on ALIEN
2 - 1980) is screwing a prostitute when he is interrupted by
a phone call from his general, who tells him about the train and the
bridge. He wants the Captain to round up as many partisans as he can
so the Nazis can teach them a deadly lesson. The Captain and his men
then raid a village, killing men and women with reckless abandon. In
one scene of extreme bad taste, the soldiers take a baby from his
mother's arms, toss it in the air and use it for target practice! The
women and children are crying at such a sight and the Captain grabs
one child for use later on.
The partisans, led by Lupo (Xiros Papas; "Mosaic" in FRANKENSTEIN
'80 - 1972), vow revenge and use local prostitute Irene
(Brigitte Skay; A BAY OF BLOOD
- 1971) as a spy. The Captain tries to get the group of partisan
prisoners he captured to talk and when they won't he uses the child
in a game of Russian roulette, resulting in the death of the child's
father (a nice round bullethole in the middle of his forehead), yet
the partisans still refuse to talk. Dr. Kratsch tells the Captain
that she will be able to get them to talk if he'll let her deal with
them on "her terms". The partisans don't trust Lupo and
think he may be a double agent (One partisan says, "We seem to
be at the mercy of priests and prostitutes!"). Lupo is talking
to a priest, Don Lorenzo (Brad Harris; ZAMBO,
KING OF THE JUNGLE - 1972), when Irene enters the church and
warns Lupo that the Germans are coming. Lupo doesn't want to flee
because he has a sick wife and young son at home, but Irene and
Father Lorenzo tell him that they will take care of his family. The
good Father gives Lupo his rosary and he flees (This film's idea of
sympathy.). The Germans invade the village, where the Captain rapes a
young woman to get her partisan brother to come out of hiding and
surrender, which he does. The remaining partisans feel uneasy, as if
something deadly is about to happen. If they only knew.
We then see Dr. Kratsch with a bunch of naked male partisans, who
are hanging by their arms (nothing is left to the imagination). Dr.
Kratsch whips the men in the crotch with a riding crop and then she
takes off her top and rubs her breasts all over one prisoner's naked
body. She then pulls out a bayonette and cuts off the penis of
another prisoner. It is then revealed that a female partisan is a
traitor and she is dealt with at the end of a machinegun, but are
there other traitors in the group? Do you really care? I sure as hell don't!
This is a piss-poor film that wallows in scenes of torture, where
women are jolted in their private parts with electricity, have their
fingers cut off, have rats chewing their bodies or having the Beast
screw them to death. This film is so desperate to shock that it shows
the Beast ripping off a woman's pubic hair and eating it, while a
female Nazi officer licks her lips, all in loving close-up. This film
also borrows war footage from other films (the film stock changes fro
scene to scene). Be aware that there is just as much male
full-frontal nudity as there is female and director Luigi Batzella (THE
DEVIL'S WEDDING NIGHT - 1973; ACHTUNG!
THE DESERT TIGERS - 1977), here using his "Ivan
Kathansky" pseudonym, has no problem letting the cameras linger
on male genitalia. It is supposed to be shocking, but it comes across
as a desperate excuse to show human suffering. This ain't no SCHLINDLER'S
LIST (1993), folks!. Shot under the title LA
BESTIA IN CALORE ("The Beast In Heat", an
alternate title for the film), this execrable excuse of an
exploitation film, written by Batzella & Lorenzo Artale, is
nothing but pure torture to sit through, as it is horrendously acted
(Salvatore Baccaro should be ashamed of himself), atrociously dubbed
(some of the partisans have Southern and Brooklyn accents!) and the
action is poorly staged (No bullet squibs here. When someone is shot,
they grab their chest and fall down. One guy anticipates an explosion
before it happens and jumps in the air a good second before the
boom!). We are supposed to feel relief when the Beast grabs Dr.
Kratsch and screws her to death, but the only relief you will have is
when this film finally ends. The only thing I felt here was pity.
Mainly pity for the audience for sitting through this filmic piece of shit.
Released on VHS (under the review title) by Video City Production
and as SS EXPERIMENT CAMP 2
by Mogul Communications.
This also had two DVD released in the U.S., one from Exploitation
Digital and one as part of "Full
Moon's Grindhouse Collection". The Full
Moon DVD (my review is based on this DVD) is 4x3 letterboxed and
looks surprisingly good when blown up to fit a HDTV screen, better
than it has any right to look. No Blu-Ray at the time of this review.
I don't know any company stupid or brave enough to release this in
high definition, but Naziploitation fans should be satisfied with
Full Moon's DVD, which cost me $6.99 on Amazon. I wish I could get my
money back. Also starring "John Brawn" (a.k.a. Gino Turini; KONG
ISLAND - 1968), Giuseppe Castellano (ALMOST
HUMAN - 1974), Benito Pacifico (HITCH-HIKE
- 1978) and Alfredo Rizzo (SLAUGHTER
OF THE VAMPIRES - 1962). Not Rated. UPDATE:
Now available on DVD
& Blu-Ray from Severin
Films. I guess I found a company stupid (or brave) enough to
release it in high definition!
STONE
(1973) - A classic of Australian exploitation cinema. The film
opens with the Gravediggers motorcycle gang stopping by an
environmental protest rally, where they heckle the man speaking at
the podium. One of the members, Toad (Hugh Keays-Byrne), who is
tripping on acid, wanders off and witnesses a sniper shoot and kill
the speaker at the podium. The Gravediggers manage to get away in the
ensuing madness, but now someone is killing members of the gang
one-by-one. The first one is decapitated when a wire is strung across
the road as he is passing on his motorcycle. The second one is killed
when his motorcycle explodes as he starts it up. A third one is
killed when he is run off the road and drives off a cliff. At the
funeral for the third member, (where he is buried standing up so he
"doesn't have to take anything from the Evil One [Satan] lying
down"), the remaining members of the Gravediggers vow revenge to
whomever is responsible. The police try to question them at the
cemetery, but the Gravediggers' leader, Undertaker (Sandy Harbutt),
tells them to 'piss off" as they will solve the murders on their
own. Enter policeman Stone (Ken Shorter). He comes riding in on his
motorcycle, all dressed in white leather and enters the Gravedigger's
local hangout. He tells the Gravediggers that he was sent to solve
the murders of their friends and, after saving Undertaker's life from
a sniper's crossbow, the gang votes to let him be a temporary member
until they catch the killer (the voting isn't unanimously in Stone's
favor, though). At first, it's a very uneasy alliance between Stone
and the Gravediggers (their clubhouse is an old WWII bunker
overlooking the ocean), but the gang eventually indoctrinate him into
their circle, piercing his ear (!) and pouring beer all over him.
It's not long before Stone and Undertaker begin admiring each other
as human beings. They may not like each other, but each begins to
understand the other's way of life. As Stone begins his
investigation, he's surprised how well thought of the Gravediggers
are by the surrounding community. When a rival gang, the Black Hawks,
swing into town, the corporation that hired the sniper sees this as a
way to kill all the Gravediggers and blame it on the rival gang.
After a gunfight between the Gravediggers and the bad guys, Stone
catches the sniper and brings him to justice, which pisses-off the
Gravediggers, who dole-out a surprising bit of payback to Stone in
the bloody finale. There is a code to the biker culture and Stone is
about to learn it in a most painful manner. It sets up a sequel
which, unfortunately, never materialized. This Australian
offshoot of 60's American biker films is an entertaining
action/exploitation flick that has much to recommend, even if this is
a low-budget affair. Director/producer/co-scri
pter/star
Sandy Harbutt (who's only other directorial effort was a 1972
Australian TV version of JESUS
CHRIST SUPERSTAR!) infuses this film with a sense of
humanity, as the bikers are living, breathing people and are not
portrayed as one-note shit-kickers. Sure, they get into trouble every
now and then, drop acid and get into fights, but they are basically
good guys just looking out for each other, like some extended
screwed-up family (and who doesn't know what that's like?). Ken
Shorter as Stone is a strange-looking chap and seems an odd choice as
the hero of the film, but the more he is on-screen, the more he grows
on you. This film also has one of the strangest music scores (by
Billy Green) you will ever hear, full of howling voices at one moment
and then a simple acoustic guitar solo the next. Very unusual and
effective. It just wouldn't be a biker film without some of the
staples of the genre and this one doesn't disappoint. There's a
couple of druggy "trip" scenes (one leads to everyone
skinnydipping in the ocean), a bar fight, a motorcycle race between
Stone and the Gravediggers' best rider, plenty of nudity (both male
and female) and lots of colorful gang member names, including Septic,
Dr. Death, Captain Midnight, Hooks, Ferret and my favorite,
Stinkfinger. If you're a fan of biker films, STONE
should be high on your must-see list. Fans of exploitation should see
this as a precursor to the later wave of Australian genre films,
starting with MAD MAX (1979;
co-star Hugh Keays-Byrne would play "Toecutter" in that
film). Real members of the Sydney, Australia chapter of the Hell's
Angels portray members of rival biker gangs. Also starring Roger Ward
("Fifi Macaffee" in MAD MAX), Vincent Gil (
"Nightrider" in the opening of MAD MAX), Rebecca
Gilling, Helen Morse, James H. Bowles, Bindi Williams and Lex
Mitchell. The DVD I viewed has a very entertaining documentary where
nearly all the surviving actors and crew gather together over 20
years later and reminisce about the good times they had making this
film. It's one of the better "behind the scenes" docs that
I have seen in quite a while. A Magna Pacific (PAL Code 0) DVD
release. When originally released to theaters in 1974, STONE
was over two hours long. For it's 1995 Australian theatrical
re-release, director Harbutt recut the film to it's current 98 minute
edit, removing some slow spots and tightening-up the film. It's this
"Director's Cut" that is on the DVD and the excised bits
are, unfortunately, not on the DVD as extras. Also available in the
United States on DVD (NTSC Region 0) from Severin
Films. Not Rated.
STREET
GIRLS (1974) - Sordid tale
about whores, strippers, pimps, drugs and the people who love, abuse
and use them. Angel (Chris Souder) is a small town
girl-turned-stripper who is very confused. She is carrying-on a
lesbian affair with fellow stripper Sally (Carol Chase), but has
trysts with men, including drug dealer Mario (Jay Derringer), which
doesn't sit too well with Sally. Mario turns Angel into a heroin
addict and she becomes a prostitute to feed her habit. Angel's
father, Sven (Art Burke), a naive Midwestern man (who believes you
can catch VD from a toilet seat or get hooked on Smith Bros. cough
drops!) becomes worried when he doesn't hear from his daughter, so he
heads off to the Big City in search of her. He's about to get an
education on the seedier aspects of life. Irv (Paul Pompian, also a
Producer here), the owner of the strip club, is using the club as a
front to turn his strippers into call girls. He simply has Mario get
them hooked on smack and then makes them turn tricks for their next
fix. As you can probably guess, Irv is making a mint as a secret pimp
and Angel is going is going to be the newest addition to his stable.
When Sven enters town, the first person he meets is Albert (Michael
Albert Walker), a schizophrenic babbler who just happens to be
Sally's brother. Albert takes Sven to Irv's club to meet Sally, who
is dancing there that night. Sally takes Sven
to the communal home where she lives and Sven meets a good
cross-section of the counterculture community, including Albert, who
is now dressed as a woman! Sally lies to Sven and tells him that
Angel is on a year-long cruise around the world, but he gets pissed
and storms out of the house when she tells him that she and Angel are
lesbian lovers (Sven disgustingly says, "My daughter would never
get involved in such filth!"). If he only knew the whole truth.
Angel's first professional trick is a grease monkey in a motel room,
who hands her a pair of scuba goggles and tells her to lay in the
bathtub. You guessed it, he wants to piss on her (!) and when Angel
refuses and locks herself in the bathroom, Irv later gives her a
black eye and threatens to turn her out on the street, making her a
five dollar street whore. As Sven gets closer to finding his daughter
(thanks to a tip from a black prostitute), Angel sinks further and
further into a pit of despair and drug addiction. When Sally tries to
save Angel (it's strictly for her own benefit and has nothing to do
with Angel), she pays for it with her life. Sven is assaulted and
beaten to a pulp, but his determination will finally lead him to his
daughter. Even though he knows what Angel has become, his experience
over the last few days turn him into a different man and he hugs his
daughter. It's a hug a father could only give his daughter.
This early 70's exploitationer, directed by Michael Miller (JACKSON
COUNTY JAIL - 1976; OUTSIDE
CHANCE - 1978; SILENT RAGE
- 1982) and scripted by Miller and Barry Levinson (director of such
mainstream hits as DINER [1982]
and RAIN MAN [1988]; he was
also Assistant Cameraman on this film), is an extremely low-budget,
but effective, peek at the underbelly of society's dark side. While
watching this film, I couldn't help but notice how much Paul Schrader
borrowed from it for his film HARDCORE
(1979), starring George C. Scott. While HARDCORE has a much
larger budget and more professional actors, STREET
GIRLS was here first and the common theme shared between the
two films (clueless father must search for his daughter in a
landscape totally alien to him) is no less diminished by STREET's
ultra-low-budget and cast of non-pros. Quite the contrary. This
film's lack of budget and raw acting actually enhance the
proceedings, making the plentiful nudity (mostly by women who are
non-enhanced in the chest region and are plain janes in the looks
department) and gritty location photography (filmed in Eugene,
Oregon) seem natural and urgent. The music soundtrack (featuring
songs by Muddy Waters) also gives the film a distinct 70's feel, as
do the fashions and hairstyles. It's in no way a perfect film (the
ending is a little too quick, like director Miller ran out of money
and condensed all the loose ends into a final two minutes), but it's
a compact 84 minute, fast-moving look into the inner workings of a
lifestyle most of us would rather not think about. Also starring
Linda Reynolds, B.J. Harris, Jimmy Smith, Fred Garrett and Frank May
as Rico, a diminutive white pimp in a huge limousine. New World
Pictures picked this up for theatrical distribution and it was
released on VHS by Charter
Entertainment in the mid-80's. Grey market seller Substance
looks to have ported over a slightly letterboxed 16 mm print for
their no-frills DVD release. It's soft-looking, but watchable. Rated
R.
THE
SUCKERS (1972) - I have to admit
that I wanted to see this film ever since I saw a newspaper ad mat
for it in the early-70's as the bottom half of a double bill, with THE
ADULT VERSION OF JEKYLL AND HIDE (1971), but I was too young
at the time to see X-rated fare. It has been unavailable on U.S.
video in any form until now, but after watching it, I wish I hadn't.
Sometimes the hunt is better than the catch. It also doesn't help
that the 35mm print offered by new boutique DVD label Vinegar
Syndrome is an absolute mess, with emulsion scratches running
throughout the entire film, missing frames that offer aggravating
jump cuts, some annoying hisses and hums on the soundtrack and what
looks like a missing reel. This is basically a softcore porn version
of THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME
(1932), that is short on thrills and heavy on the softcore porn. The
plot is simple: A rich big game hunter named Steve Vandemeer (Steve
Vincent, who uses the pseudomym "Vincent Stevens" here and
also used the pseudomym "Adam Lawrence" in films
like DRIVE-IN MASSACRE
- 1976) invites a female photographer, her business partner husband,
two fashion models and another professional hunter to his out-of-the-way
hunting reserve where they eventually become the prey. I say
eventually because you have to put up with nearly an hour of softcore
sex scenes (complete with flaccid male penises and shots of hairy
ball sacks), both straight and lesbian, while library music plays in
the background. Once we finally get to the actually hunt, there seems
to be an entire reel missing, as Vandemeer announces that they are
going to be his and his two sidekicks' prey and then the film jumps
to everyone already separated and running through the woods. One
model is captured, brought back to the house by one of the sidekicks,
raped and then stabbed repeatedly with a hunting knife (we never see
the deed, only the bloody knife after the stabbing). The female
photographer is raped and shot by Vandemeer (both offscreen) after
her husband is knocked unconcious. The other model is captured by the
second sidekick, but she pleads with him not to hurt her and offers
him a huge amount of money she saw back at the house. Vandemeer hears
the whole thing and shoots the sidekick dead (this time on-screen).
She gets away and is saved by the other professional hunter who is
also the prey. He and she fall for the old rope trap trick when they
find the naked bloody body of the female photographer and Vandemeer
ties them both to trees. Vandemeer threatens to skin the model
alive, but his plans are foiled when the photographer's husband fires
a pistol at Vandemeer and the hunter breaks free from the tree,
because he had a hunting knife hidden behind his back (Why didn't
Vandemeer search him before tying him to a tree?). He and Vandemeer
get into a knife fight and, just as Vandemeer is about to kill him,
the model grabs Vandemeer's rifle and shoots him dead. That's all
folks. Like I said before, the film elements are a total disaster
(nothing like their double
feature DVD of DUNGEON
OF HARROW [1962]/DEATH
BY INVITATION [1971]), but even if Vinegar Syndrome could
have found a better source print, the movie would still be a bore.
That's surprising, since it was directed by Stu Segall (using the
pseudonym "Arthur Byrd"), who directed the
previously-mentioned DRIVE-IN MASSACRE,
as well as real X-Rated porn films such as TEEN-AGE
JAILBAIT (1973) and INSATIABLE
(1980) using the names "Godfrey Daniels", "Ricki
Krelmn" and "P.C. O'Kake", before becoming a
successful TV producer of series such as HUNTER
(1984 - 1988) and SILK
STALKINGS (1991 - 1999). Writer/Producer "Edward
Everett" is actually Howard Lime, who also had a healthy porn
film career as a director/producer/writer. The script to this film is
full of noticeable errors, such as when everyone calls their vehicle
a "Jeep" when you can actually see the "Ford"
insignia on the front grill. Although there is plenty of non-silicone
enhanced nudity and hairy bushes (but no actual visible penetration
or "money shots"), almost none of it is erotic and most of
those scenes go on much too long (The rape, on the other hand, only
lasts for about 30 seconds). I've said this many times before: Just
because a film is considered "rare" or "lost"
doesn't mean it is good. That's THE
SUCKERS in a nutshell. Exploitation great David F. Friedman
was the uncredited Executive Producer. Also starring Sandy Dempsy,
Richard Smedley, Barbara Mills, Norman Fields, Jim Pannin, Laurie
Rose and Lyle Vann. A Vinegar
Syndrome Release, which is part of a double
feature DVD with THE LOVE GARDEN
(1971). Originally released to theaters with an "Adults Only"
rating (it's like an unregistered X-Rating). If it were be submitted
to the MPAA today, it would probably garner an NC-17 Rating.
SUPERCHICK
(1973) - Oddball and rather tame piece of 70's sexploitation
about stewardess Tara B. True (Joyce Jillson; a 70's film & TV
actress who gave up the profession to become a world-famous
syndicated newspaper astrologer, as well as an astrologist to the
stars, before passing away in 2004), a.k.a. "Superchick", a
swinging single woman who changes her appearance in every port of
call (in the opening seconds of the film, she changes in a phone
booth [ala Superman] from a frumpy brunette to a stunning blonde in a
skintight pair of black leather short-shorts) to keep her identity
secret from her three boyfriends: Rich brain surgeon Ernest (Thomas
Reardon) in New York, who will fuck Tara but won't let her kiss him
on the mouth because of his "germ" issues (they shake hands
instead!); playboy Johnny (Tony Young) in Miami, a degenerate gambler
who owes a ton of money to mobster Mr. Garrick (Louis Quinn); and
musician Davy Charles (Timothy Wayne Brown) in Los Angeles, a famous
pop singer who has two top ten singles and a hit TV show. Tara
certainly lives up to her Superchick nickname, because she's not only
hell in the sack, she also has an unquenchable sexual energy that no
one can seem to drain. Tara's secret identities come crashing down
around her when Mr. Garrick discovers who she really is after
accidentally watching her change from frumpy stewardess to sexy passenger
in mid-air to indoctrinate a recently returned Marine into the Mile
High Club (it is her patriotic duty after all!). Mr. Garrick
blackmails Tara to deliver packages for him across the country or he
will not only unmask her secret identity, he will also kill Johnny.
Along on her adventures, Tara meets lesbian porno star Mayday
(sexploitation vet Uschi Digard) and goes to a drug-fueled party with
her and Davy's associate Sims (Junero Jennings), where Tara and Sims
smoke pot in a closet while a pair of cops raid the party (and sample
the weed!). Tara transforms herself into her frumpy alter ego and
talks the older cop (Norman Bartold) into letting her go, leaving
Sims and Mayday to their own devices (they get arrested!). As she is
walking through a park, she is accosted by a flasher (She looks at
his dick and says, "You poor dear!") and then by a
pot-smoking motorcycle gang (one of the bikers is portrayed by an
uncredited Dan Haggerty), who want to gang-bang her, but she beats
them all up with her superior kung-fu skills (offscreen) and steals
one of their bikes. After a few more exploits, Tara is put on the
spot when a "package" she delivers turns out to be guns
being used for a mid-air hijack attempt on a flight she is working
on. Tara defeats the hijackers, which gives her unwanted national TV
exposure and a hospital stay. Ernest, Johnny and Davy rush to her
hospital bed in one of the most unbelievable, knuckle-headed
conclusions I have seen in quite a while. This underwhelming
exploitationer, directed by Ed Forsythe (INFERNO
IN PARADISE - 1974; CHESTY
ANDERSON, USN - 1976) and written by Gary Crutcher (STANLEY
- 1972; who also has a small role here as the younger cop who busts
the party, as well as supplying cringe-worthy dialogue like,
"Last one in bed gets no head!" throughout the film), is
nothing but a series of loosely connected vignettes that showcase
Joyce Jillson's assets (although the end credits state that a body
double was used for some of her nude scenes). While there is plenty
of nudity from nearly every female cast member (Uschi Digard has a
nice full-frontal scene on the set of an S&M porno shoot),
clearly 90% of the screen time belongs to Ms. Jillson and it's no
coincidence that she soon changed careers after appearing in this.
Her acting talents are less than stellar and this film suffers
because of it (try watching her play "stoned" while in the
closet or reaching "orgasm" while listening to classical
music in Ernest's living room). John Carradine puts in an
embarrassing five minute cameo as aging horror star Igor Smith, who
keeps an S&M dungeon in his mansion and has the funniest line in
the entire film (It comes right after Tara asks him, "What would
your mother say?"). Otherwise, SUPERCHICK
is a dated exploitation flick that ends on one of the most
preposterous denouements in recent memory (Believe me, you'll be
shaking your head in disbelief and your fist in anger). Also starring
Jack Wells, Gus Peters, Phil Hoover, Steve Drexel and Dale Ishimoto.
Originally released theatrically by Crown International Pictures (an
inside joke has Tara working for Crown International Airways,
complete with the highly-recognizable Crown logo) and available on
DVD by Rhino Video as a standalone title or from BCI Eclipse as a
double feature with HUSTLER
SQUAD (1976), as part of their now-defunct "Welcome
To The Grindhouse" series. Rated R.
SWEET
SUGAR (1972) - Prostitute Sugar
(Phyllis Davis of TERMINAL ISLAND
- 1973) is set-up on a phony marijuana bust and makes a deal with the
police chief to cut sugar cane in a work camp for two years in lieu
of a trial. She should have stuck with the trial. The work camp turns
out to be much worse than any prison, as the women working there are
abused, beaten and raped and brutal head guard Burgos (Cliff Osmond)
takes an instant dislike to Sugar. The women work long, hard days
next to the male prisoners, the only difference being the men are
shackled and the women are not. The owner of the camp, Dr. John
(Angus Duncan), attempts to get Sugar in bed, but she turns him down,
which pisses him off. It turns out Dr. John is an
"ethnopharmacologist" (someone who studies the drugs used
by primitive people) and he is using the women in the camp as guinea
pigs, injecting them with fertility drugs to test them for frigidity.
He injects Sugar with the fertility drug and she reaches orgasm
almost immediately, overloading the doctor's instrumentation and
causing it to explode! It's apparent that Dr. John is nothing more
than a raving loon, raping and murdering as he sees fit. After a
short period of time, Sugar becomes the the unofficial leader of the
female workers, looking after some of the more vunerable women,
including seventeen year-old Dolores (Pamela Collins), who was
a virgin until Dr. John raped her. Black prisoner Simone (Ella
Edwards) falls in love with Mojo (Timothy Brown), a male prisoner and
voodoo priest, while Sugar makes time with nice young guard Carlos
(Darl Severns). When Dr. John catches Sugar and Carlos making love in
his bed, he has Sugar tied up spread-eagle in the middle of the camp
and Burgos forces Carlos to whip her. When Carlos whips Burgos
instead, Burgos unloads a .45 clip into Carlos, killing him. Burgos
then shoves the hot barrel of the gun down the front of Sugar's
cut-offs (He says to her, "You like it hot?"). When Sugar
tries to escape, Dr. John punishes all the women by throwing them in
a room with dozens of cats injected with a serum to make them feral.
When Sugar, Simone and Mojo find the graves of former camp workers
that Dr. John killed in his experiments, Mojo is burned alive (like a
witch) by Dr. John and Burgos in retribution. Sugar, Simone and all
the women revolt, setting fire to the sugar cane fields, grabbing
some guns and giving the bad guys everything they deserve. Not
everyone makes it out alive, however. This classic WIP flick
treads the fine line between brutality and comedy and, while it
doesn't always succeed, it sure is entertaining. Case in point: When
Sugar attempts to escape from the camp in the middle of the night,
she runs into a mountain lion. Instead of being torn apart and
mauled, Sugar sweet-talks the lion ("Hey good-looking....!")
and the lion falls for it! Most of the comedy in this film comes
from the interaction between bumbling guards Rick (James Houghton,
who became an Emmy Award-winning soap opera writer!) and Max (Albert
Cole, one-half of THE
INCREDIBLE 2-HEADED
TRANSPLANT
- 1970), as Max continually tries to get the inexperienced Rick laid,
with disasterous results. The film also contains elements of the
occult, as Mojo uses voodoo on Sugar to locate the mass graves of
former female workers. While there is a lot of nudity on view (Ms.
Davis looks mighty fine here), the violence is kept to a minimum
until the finale, where Cliff Osmond (who would next appear in INVASION
OF THE BEE GIRLS - 1973) gets his fingers lopped off and
then gets run-through with a machete. The film's highlight is Sugar's
whipping and subsequent torture by Burgos with the barrel of a gun.
Once seen, it's not easily forgotten. Not because it's graphic, mind
you, but because it makes you so uncomfortable watching it. Director
Michel Levesque, who also directed WEREWOLVES
ON WHEELS (1971) and co-scripted GIRLS
ON THE ROAD (1972), gives you your money's worth here,
mixing all the good elements of exploitation into a satisfying,
fulfilling brew. Besides, how can you not love a film with lines
like, "I hope somebody hacks off your hambone!"? James
Whitworth, "Papa Jupiter" in THE
HILLS HAVE EYES (1977), portrays nasty guard Mario. Filmed
in Costa Rica. Beware of the VHS version on the Continental
Video label that's part of a double feature (with ESCAPE
FROM WOMENS PRISON - 1978), as it is shorn of over 10
minutes of it's 85 minute running time to fit on a T-150 tape. Also
known as SHE DEVILS IN CHAINS
(not to be confused with Cirio H. Santiago's 1976
film with the same name), CHAINGANG GIRLS and HELLFIRE
ON ICE. A Cult Video Release. Rated R.
SWINGERS
MASSACRE (1975) - Here's a
weird little sexploitation thriller from the swinging 70's. Charlie
Tishman (Eastman Price) is a successful lawyer who is getting tired
of only making love to his wife Amy (Jan Mitchell), so when a client
suggests he and his wife go to a swingers club, the idea intrigues
him. Problem is, Charlie has to get Amy to agree to go, which will
not be easy. Amy is not too keen on the idea (She says to Charlie,
"You have the seven year itch and we've been married ten
years!"), but Charlie keeps working on her (even going as far as
to prematurely ejaculate when they have sex so she's left
unsatisfied!) until she eventually relents and agrees to go. Once at
the swingers club, Amy at first acts like a cold fish until they meet
Rod (Paul Oberon) and Marge (Mickie Nader), a swinging couple who
invite Charlie and Amy over to their house for one of their frequent
partner-swapping parties (Charlie is impressed because their
invitation is printed instead of hand-written!). Amy is still
reluctant when they show up at the party, but a couple of stiff
vodkas and Amy joins the other women, Marge, Donna (Ann Perry), Diane
(Rene Bond) and Irene (Marsha Jordan) as they change into lingerie
and pick partners. A funny thing happens, as Amy gets
turned-on making it with all the men, including Rod, Jerry (Philip
Luther), Bill (Ron Darby) and Jim (Gary Kent), but Charlie is unable
to "get it up" and make love to any of the women. As Amy
screws all the men, Charlie gets drunk, becomes disillusioned with
the swinging lifestyle and gets into a big fight with Amy on the
drive home (Charlie says, "You need an army! No wonder I can't
keep you satisfied!"). Charlie begins to go slowly insane with
jealousy and when Bill calls him the following week to invite him
over for a poker game and mentions that Amy's "the best fuck we
ever had", Charlie snaps. He stakes out the poker game and
follows Jim home. He knocks out Jim, puts him in his car, runs a hose
from the tailpipe to the car's window and watches as Jim chokes to
death from carbon monoxide poisoning (while Jim pleads, "I
didn't mean it Charlie!"). He next kills Rod in the same manner
(The police at first think both their deaths was a gay suicide
pact!). Charlie then grabs a sniper rifle and kills Bill as he gets
in his car. When Charlie and Amy go to Jerry and Donna's house for
drinks, Amy and Donna have lesbian sex (after a three-way with
Jerry), while Charlie gets drunk and homicidal. Charlie drugs all
their drinks and then strangles Jerry and hangs Donna. As the police
close in and Amy is made aware of her husband's murderous habits,
Charlie goes totally bonkers and tries to kill Amy (He screams,
"I did it all for you!"). Amy fights back and kills Charlie
with a revolver and the film ends just as it began: With an abused
wife killing her husband in self defense. Only this time, Charlie
won't be able to represent her in court and get her off with a slap
on the wrist like he did with the woman in the beginning of the film.
Life is funny, isn't it? Leave it to director/producer Ron
Garcia (billed here as "Ronald V. Garcia") to show a dark
side (and a pitch-black one at that) to the swinging lifestyle.
Garcia, who also directed the weird sci-fi nudie THE
TOY BOX (1970 - also starring Rene Bond) and is an
award-winning cinematographer (TV's CRIME
STORY and TWIN PEAKS),
builds suspense slowly, at first showing us plenty of naked female
flesh before showing us the consequences of wife swapping. Charlie
has really no one to blame but himself, because Amy wanted nothing to
do with swinging but, once she got a taste, there was no turning
back. Charlie, who wanted so desperately to be part of the lifestyle,
only to find himself unable to perform, creates a Frankenstein's
monster in Amy, at least in his own mind. And, just like
Frankenstein's monster, Charlie is unable to control Amy's new-found
desires. The screenplay (by Helene Arthur) is nothing but a "be
careful what you wish for" scenario, spiced-up with male and
female nudity (Swinging was a hot topic at the time and was used as a
plot device in many hardcore and softcore features in the 70's). The
violence is not very graphic (the sniper shooting is the bloodiest),
but Eastman Price, as Charlie, makes a brooding and effective villian
and his mental breakdown is fairly good for such a low-budget flick.
Genre legend Uschi Digard (BEAUTIES AND
THE BEAST - 1973) puts in a cameo appearance as a swinger in
the club (filmed at Filthy McNasty's on Hollywood's Sunset Strip).
Donald M. Jones, the director of such films as SCHOOLGIRLS
IN CHAINS (1973), THE
LOVE BUTCHER (1975) and THE
FOREST (1981), was the cinematographer. Also starring
Harrison Phillips, Richard Stobie, Carmine Marino and Dawna Kaufmann.
Also known as INSIDE AMY and SUPER
SWINGING PLAYMATES (once available from Something
Weird Video under this title on VHS and DVD-R). An Even Steven
Productions VHS Release. Rated R.
THE
SWINGING BARMAIDS (1975) -
Someone is killing off the waitresses at the Swing A Ling cocktail
lounge. A patron (with an obvious fake blonde wig and beard) gets
angry when waitress Boo-Boo (Dyanne "ILSA"
Thorne) calls him "Sonny" ("Don't call me
Sonny!"), so he follows her home after her shift is over, breaks
into her apartment, stabs her repeatedly in the back with a
switchblade ("You dirty, stinkin' whore!") and then takes
photos of her dead body after posing her in various provocative
positions. Boo-Boo's co-workers, Jenny (Laura Hippe), Susie (Katie
Saylor) and Marie (Renie Radich), arrive at Boo-Boo's apartment to
find the killer standing over her body, so they hightail it out of
there and head to the local police department, where they give
detective Harry White (William Smith) a sketch of the killer's face.
When the killer sees his face on the TV news the next morning, he
cuts and dyes his hair and shaves off his beard. Looking like a
completely different person, the killer begins stalking and killing
the three other waitresses while Harry continues his investigation
and gets closer to the truth. The killer, who is now using the name
Tom Brady (Bruce Watson), takes a job at the Swing A Ling as a
dishwasher/bouncer, so he can keep a closer eye on his prey. He
follows Jenny home and peeps on her as she makes love to her
boyfriend Dave (James Travis) and he develops a fatal crush on her.
When Jenny rebuffs his
advances, Tom drowns Marie in her pool and poses her topless body on
a deck chair. Tom also seriously injures Zitto (Zitto Karzann), the
Swing A Ling's owner, when he stops by to check up on Marie. To keep
Zitto from identifying him, Tom sneaks into his hospital room and
injects a hypo full of air into Zitto's neck. Unaware that Tom is the
killer, the rest of the club's employees gather together and devise a
plan to trap the psycho. The plan backfires when Tom strangles Susie
a day before the plan is to go into effect. For her safety, Tom
volunteers to bring Jenny to her parent's house, but it turns out to
be anything but safe. Harry finally uncovers the truth and rushes to
Jenny's parent's house. When Harry and the police arrive, Tom grabs a
shotgun, kills a couple of cops (as well as Jenny's father), grabs
Jenny and they take off on his motorcycle. Harry saves the day when
he pumps all the shells that are in his shotgun into Tom's chest
until he looks like a bloody piece of Swiss cheese. This
mid-70's sexploitationer, directed by Gus Trikonis (THE
STUDENT BODY - 1976; MOONSHINE
COUNTY EXPRESS - 1977; THE
EVIL - 1977; JUNGLE HEAT
- 1983), is a little-seen sex thriller that lacks bloody violence
(until the finale), but doesn't skimp on the sex or the sleaze.
Although Tom's motives for the killings are unclear, it seems some
keywords set him off, such as "Sonny", "funny"
(Marie calls him that and his personality changes in a split second)
or "faggot" (which Susie calls the killer when the club's
devise the plan to capture him, unaware that Tom is the
"faggot"). All the women take their tops off, though much
of it is not erotic or titillating at all since Tom manages to rip
their clothes off while he is murdering them. The most imaginative
kill is Marie's, as the camera bobs below the surface of the pool's
water and back up again, mimicking Marie's last gasps for breath.
There's not much to the acting here, but that's not to say anyone is
bad (although Zitto Karzann is a much better bar owner than he is an
actor and I'm willing to bet that's exactly what he was in real
life). Bruce Watson (This is his biggest role, as he was usually just
a bit player in movies and TV) takes top honors as Tom, who can
switch from happiness to madness at the tip of a hat, but the rest of
the cast, including William Smith (HOLLYWOOD
MAN - 1976), who looks bored to death here and sleepwalks
through his role, are nothing but window dressing or second-tier
characters to advance the plot. The screenplay was written by Charles
B. Griffith, who also scripted NOT
OF THIS EARTH (1957), A
BUCKET OF BLOOD (1959), the original LITTLE
SHOP OF HORRORS (1960) and DEATH
RACE 2000 (1975), as well as directing EAT
MY DUST (1976), UP
FROM THE DEPTHS (1979) and the cult comedy DR.
HECKYL AND MR. HYPE (1980). He died of a heart attack in
September 2007. Almost all of the films Griffith was involved with
were for director/producer Roger Corman. THE
SWINGING BARMAIDS was a rare exception. He scripted this one
for producer Ed Carlin, who also co-produced BLOOD
AND LACE (1970), THE
NIGHT GOD SCREAMED (1971), THE
MANHANDLERS (1973) and MAMA'S
DIRTY GIRLS (1974) with partner Gil Lansky and produced most
of director Gus Trikonis' 70's films, as well as BATTLE
BEYOND THE STARS (1980) and SUPERSTITION
(1982) on his own. THE
SWINGING BARMAIDS
(also known as EAGER BEAVERS
and KILLER) is a minor snapshot
of 70's sexploitation. It's nothing special, but it's not a bad way
to spend 88 minutes of your life. Also starring Ray Galvin, John
Alderman, Milt Kogan, Judith Roberts, Dick Yarmy and Andre Tayir as
Bruce, the club's transvestite MC who, for some reason, disappears
for the rest of the film after his/her opening scenes. The print I
viewed was a dub of a Dutch-subtitled VHS tape. As far as I know,
this never got a legal release on home video in the United States. Rated
R.
TENEMENT:
GAME OF SURVIVAL (1985) - For all you
people who have the washed-out version of this film on VHS, you can
now throw them away as Shriek Show has issued a pristine print (under
the title GAME OF SURVIVAL)
on DVD. This is perhaps director Roberta Findlay's most sought-after
film, due to it's frequent use of repellent violence and MPAA-issued
X rating on it's initial release. When the occupants of a dilapidated
tenement building call the cops on a drug-taking gang, led by the
sunglass-wearing Chaco (Enrique Sandino),
who are illegally living in the basement, the gang gets taken away
only to be released on a technicality. They come back to the building
swearing revenge and they keep their promise. They kill a blind man's
seeing-eye dog, rape a black woman with a broomstick and then kill
her after she rams a pair of scissors into one of the gangs eye. The
rest of the tenants band together and try to fight back as the gang
moves floor-by-floor destroying the apartments along the way. The
only hero in the bunch is Sam Washington (Joe Lynn), an electrician
who leads the group of survivors and comes up with some boobytraps of
his own. As the night progresses, both sides take casualties as one
gang member shoots up rat poison (thinking it is heroin), one tenant
(Dan Snow) gets stabbed in the stomach, a john (Felix Rivera) gets
run-through with a pipe, the female gang member (Karen Russell) has a
refrigerator dropped on her, another female tenant has her throat cut
with a straight razor and another gang member is electrocuted. The
whole film is basically just a way to show different ways to kill
someone and the blood flows rather freely and graphically. The only
actor of any notice is Paul Calderon (PULP
FICTION - 1995), who has been on TV's LAW
& ORDER as a guest star playing different roles more
than any other actor in memory. He's good here as Chaco's cackling
right-hand man Hector, who glees in impaling, raping and stabbing
everyone in sight, before getting his comeuppance during the finale.
While technically this film looks very cheap (it was), it still holds
your attention due to the constant graphic violence, blood and nudity
(sometimes all at the same time). It also has a title song that just
will not leave your head long after the film is over. The ending
involving a pregnant woman and Chaco on the roof of the building is
also gripping and satisfying. The DVD also contains an interview with
director Findlay, who has had a long and distinguished career in the
exploitation field. She has some amusing anecdotes to tell about this
film, including one about a drunken assistant cameraman with a bowel
problem, all told in her thick Bronx accent. While she hasn't made a
film since 1989's little-seen BANNED,
she has held up very well and someone should give her some money to
make another film. TENEMENT, also known as SLAUGHTER IN THE
SOUTH BRONX, also stars Olivia Ward (whose husband was Police
Commissioner of New York City at the time), Jorge Baqueiro, Walter
Bryant, Sylvia Medina and Alfonso Manosalvas as the drunken,
sniveling Mr. Gonzales. A Shriek
Show DVD Release. Not Rated. Other films which tread
similar ground: BLACKOUT
(1978) and SIEGE (1982).
THEY'RE
PLAYING WITH FIRE (1984) -
Here's an early 80's sexploitationer combined with some slasher
elements. Sexy college professor Diane Stevens (Sybil Danning; THE
PHANTOM EMPIRE - 1987) hires nerdy, but popular, student Jay
(Eric Brown; VIDEO MURDERS
- 1988) to varnish her yacht, but it soon becomes apparent that Diane
wants more from Jay than just a revarnishing. After parading around
in a teenie bikini and seducing Jay with her naked body, Diane talks
Jay into breaking into the mansion of her husband Michael's (Andrew
Prine; THE
CENTERFOLD GIRLS - 1974) mother, Lillian (K.T. Stevens), and
grandmother Lettie (Margaret Wheeler). Diane and Michael want Jay to
pretend to be a burglar and scare Mom and Grannie, which he does, but
Lillian grabs a rifle
and chases him away. A few minutes later, an unknown person wearing
white sneakers and black leather gloves grabs the rifle and shoots
both Lillian and Lettie in the head. When Jay reports back to Diane
and Michael, they drive to Lillian's house to see if Mom and Grandma
were effectively scared, only to find the house empty, but Michael
finds signs of foul play and accuses Jay of murder. The question soon
becomes: Are Michael and Diane setting-up Jay to take the fall for
murder or is there another killer in their midst? Jay swears he will
uncover the truth, but his jealous ex-girlfriend Cynthia (Beth
Shaffel) has compromising photos of Jay with Diane that could spell
doom for everyone. Jay searches the yacht and finds a pair of bloody
sneakers and some documents about a mental institution in
Switzerland. As Jay investigates further (he still continues boning
Diane), the killer tries to murder him, but is unsuccessful. Cynthia
shows up at the mansion to give the incriminating photos to Michael,
but when she enters the house and discovers a child's playroom
upstairs, someone dressed as Santa Claus (!) bashes her head in with
a baseball bat. When Michael ends up stabbed to death while watching
Jay and Diane making love, it becomes apparent that the killer is
someone close to Jay that has secret ties to the Stevens family. The
attic in the mansion holds the clues to the killer's identity, but
will Jay and Diane survive the night after discovering the
truth? This is a fairly easy-to-solve murder mystery, but
director Howard 'Hikmet' Avedis (THE STEPMOTHER
- 1972; DR. MINX - 1975; SCORCHY
- 1976; THE FIFTH FLOOR -
1978; MORTUARY -
1981), who also wrote and produced this with wife Marlene Schmidt
(who also has a small cameo as a gas station customer), offers enough
eye-opening nudity (Sybil Danning never looked better) and bursts of
graphic violence to hold your attention. Eric Brown (who was
previously seduced by Sylvia Kristal in PRIVATE
LESSONS [1981]) is pretty weak as the much put-upon Jay
(It's hard to believe any girl would want his body, as he's so
skinny, it looks like a small gust of wind would blow him away), but
the rest of the cast, including Danning, Prine, Paul Clemens (THE
BEAST WITHIN - 1981) as Jay's troubled roommate Bird, Gene
Bicknell as the mysterious mansion gardener George, future director
Dominick Brescia (EVIL LAUGH
- 1988) as Jay's fat friend Glenn and Alvy Moore (THE
WITCHMAKER - 1969) as gas station owner Jimbo, more than
acquit themselves. As a whodunit, THEY'RE
PLAYING WITH FIRE fails miserably, but Danning's frequent
nude scenes, coupled with some bloody gore (Lillian getting shot in
the face, deaf Lettie getting shot in the back of the head, Cynthia's
head-bashing) makes for an interesting hybrid of sex and horror
genres. Nothing remarkable, mind you (besides Danning's body, that
is), but it's not boring. This film has a nice gloss to it, thanks to
the late Gary Graver, who was the
Director of Photography. Also starring Greg Kaye and Suzanne Kennedy.
Originally released on VHS by Thorn
EMI Video and available on DVD in a no-frills widescreen edition
from Anchor Bay Entertainment.
Rated R.
TOMCATS
(1976) - Cheap, but somewhat effective, Miami-lensed exploitation
revenge thriller from prolific director Harry E. Kerwin (GOD'S
BLOODY ACRE - 1975; BARRACUDA
- 1977) and producers/screenwriters Wayne Crawford (star of SOMETIMES
AUNT MARTHA DOES DREADFUL THINGS - 1971 and director/star of SNAKE
ISLAND - 2002) and Andrew Lane (director/screenwriter of the
Crawford-starrer JAKE SPEED
- 1986). When four scumbags, led by M.J. (Crawford, using his
frequent pseudonym "Scott Lawrence"), rape and
shotgun-to-death diner waitress Wendy (Alison Schlicter), they don't
know what trouble they have gotten themselves into. It turns out that
Wendy was the daughter of Chief of Police Ben Garrett (Rich Demott),
niece of Detective Tom Garrett (William Kerwin; BLOOD
FEAST - 1963, director Harry Kerwin's brother, who uses the
pseudonym "Thomas Dowling" here) and sister to law student
Cullen Garrett (Chris Mulkey; TWIN
PEAKS - 1990-1991, in one of his earliest acting gigs). A
drunken bum witnesses the rape/murder through the diner's back
window, but he only remembers that the license plates of the gang's
vehicle were from Chicago (actually their van bears Oregon plates),
to which Detective Garrett says "They don't issue license plates
to cities!" and hands the bum a bottle of wine! The rape-happy
foursome then kidnap, rape and kill another girl (Mia Marchand),
again using the shotgun, before they are pulled over by a cop. He
searches their vehicle, finds the shotgun and one of the gang
confesses to the murders on the spot. During the trial, the judge has
to to let the gang go free on a technicality because the arresting
officer read them their Miranda Rights after the confession was made
and the defense can't rely on the drunken bum as their only witness. When
M.J. walks out of the courtroom, he says to Cullen, "Your
sister wasn't half-bad!" and then shoves an ice cream cone in
Cullen's face and punches him in the stomach in the parking lot in
front of Cullen's girlfriend Tracy (Polly King). From that point on,
Cullen puts away his law books and sets out to get revenge for his
sister's death. First up is gang member Johnny (Daniel Schweitzer),
who Cullen traps in a bus station bathroom, shoves his face in a
toilet and tells him to keep looking over his shoulder, because he
won't see his death coming. Johnny tells what happened to M.J., who
laughs it off. While Johnny is with his girlfriend (Melisande
Conaway), who washes Johnny's penis because it is infected (!), his
phone rings and it's Cullen at the other end, who tells Johnny that
his time is up. Johnny calls M.J., who tells him to stay in his house
until he gets there. Johnny doesn't listen and makes a beeline to his
car after receiving another phone call from Cullen, only to be
shotgunned in the stomach by Cullen as he opens the car door. Cullen
then goes after gang member Billy (Jim Curry), whom he stabs in the
hand with a knife and then is about to shoot him, when M.J. and Curly
(Sam Moree) enter Billy's home. M.J. accidentally shoots Billy in the
back, killing him (he doesn't seem too broken up about it), when he
tries to shoot Cullen, but Cullen gets away. Detective Garrett and
his brother find Cullen's knife at Billy's house and cover it up (The
Police Chief says they will do "Something we can live with."
when they don't turn over the knife to the other detectives). They
grab Tracy for her own safety, while Cullen follows M.J. and Curly to
a seedy motel, where they hole-up with a couple of chicks (M.J. finds
his girl too ugly to have sex with!). When M.J. goes outside to get
some ice, he notices Cullen hiding behind a corner of the motel. M.J.
comes up with a quick plan. He goes back to his room., tells Curly to
go outside, locks the door and hops out the back window, hoping to
kill Cullen while he shoots it out with Curly. Cullen kills Curly
with his six-shooter and M.J. misses his opportunity to murder
Cullen, which leads to a shoot-out/chase on the beach (where neither
of their guns seem to run out of bullets!). Detective Garrett and
Tracy spot the shootout and Tracy goes to run towards Cullen, but
M.J. takes a shot at her and she falls down. Cullen shoots M.J. in
the stomach, killing him and then rushes to Tracy's side. Turns out
that Tracy wasn't shot at all, she just fell down! Detective Garrett
and the Police Chief grab Cullen's pistol and everyone lives happily
ever after. This mid-70's slice of sleaze (released
theatrically by Dimension Pictures) contains plenty of nudity and
scenes of rape (but nothing too explicit; just panties being torn off
and the gang, with their pants on, humping for a few frames), but the
violence is rather mild. There is some blood, but we are shown the
gunshots after the fact, except for Johnny's death; he's shot in slow
motion and flies through the air. While nothing spectacular (the
sound is especially bad, as some of the dialogue recorded outside is
muffled by background noise), this film (which has the title GETTING
EVEN during the end credits) still delivers the goods the
only way 70's exploitation films could. Also starring Robert Shields,
Michael Kennedy, Ed Lupinski, Melodee Spevack and Myraih. Originally
released on VHS under the title AVENGED
by Continental Video.
It is now available on DVD
from Code Red as the bottom half of a double feature, with GOD'S
BLOODY ACRE, in a fullscreen print that looks to have been
sourced from a VHS master. It's watchable, but no better than
Continental's big-box video release during the mid-80's. The IMDb
lists the original title of this film as DEADBEAT, but I could
find no ad materials to back up this claim. Rated R.
TOO
HOT TO HANDLE (1976) - Both the
director and the star of the GINGER series (GINGER
- 1971; THE ABDUCTORS - 1972; GIRLS
ARE FOR LOVING - 1973) return in this, a sexploitation
action feature that could very easily be the fourth film in the GINGER
canon if it weren't for the heroine having the name "Samantha
Fox". Cheri Caffaro is Samantha, a top-tier hitwoman who, in the
opening minutes, catches the eye of millionaire industrialist
MacKenzie Portman (John Van Dreelen) at a tennis match. He takes her
home, where they play S&M games in his torture room. Samantha
ties him to the bed in what he thinks will be a gentle whipping
session, but Samantha pulls a plastic bag out of her purse, ties it
around his head and smokes a cigarette while he slowly asphyxiates
and dies. Chief of Detectives Domingo de la Torres (Aharon Impale)
and Detective Sanchez (Filipino film staple Vic Diaz, who was also
Production Coordinator here) investigate Portman's death and spot
Samantha at his funeral. Domingo begins investigating Samantha as his
chief suspect and the more he spies on her (such as when she is
sunbathing nude on her yacht), the more he begins to look at her as
more than a suspect. He seems to be falling in love with her.
Samantha, meanwhile, has accepted her next
job, where she has to assassinate three very bad people before she
will get paid. She dons various disguises (including a black maid!)
to get close to her targets and kills them in various unique ways
(She paralyzes one guy in his hot tub by poisoning the water with an
ancient Chinese potion and watches him drown), while fighting off
enemies who want to see her dead. As Samantha gets closer to
completing her contract, Domingo introduces himself to her at a
cocktail party and they find themselves intellectual rivals and,
eventually, lovers. They both know that the relationship will never
last, but they make the best of the time they share together.
Samantha kills the second person on her contract, a female white
slaver, and Domingo finds himself protecting the very people who may
be Samantha's final hit on the contract. Things go from bad to worse
when Samantha accidentally (?) kills Sanchez, makes her final hit and
leaves Domingo tied-up on her yacht while a timebomb ticks away
nearby. Did Samantha leave Domingo enough time to undo the Chinese
knots on his ropes and escape from the yacht before it explodes? His
fate is left to the viewer's imagination. This 70's
sexploitationer, which pushes it's R-rating into hard territory due
to nudity and sex and contains equal measures of sexploitation
elements and action set-pieces, was directed by Don Schain, whose
short directorial career includes the three GINGER films and
the dated political racial prejudice flick A
PLACE CALLED TODAY (1972). This is the last directorial
credit for Schain (who would eventually work for the Disney Channel,
where he was responsible for producing the hugely popular HIGH
SCHOOL MUSICAL series of films) and the last acting credit
for Cheri Caffaro (SAVAGE SISTERS
- 1974; She also scripted the sexploitationer H.O.T.S.
[1979] and was Associate Producer of Bill Rebane's THE
DEMONS OF LUDLOW [1983] before disappearing into obscurity),
who spends most of her screen time topless or completely nude (Schain
and Caffaro were once married to each other for a short period of
time). It's a good thing, too, because she's a terrible actress and
an even worse martial artist (there's a fight on her yacht with a
Filipino cop that's the epitome of ineptitude, especially when they
both find wooden chaku sticks that just happen to be lying around on
the deck and fight each other in one of the funniest choreographed
fights committed to celluloid [you can actually see Caffaro mouthing
"Left, right, up, down" as they swing their chaku sticks at
each other!]). Actor Aharon Impale is not much better in any
department, either, as his martial arts skills are also highly
suspect as is his command of the English language. He has since gone
on to make a name for himself as a fine character actor in films and
on TV, usually portraying Middle Eastern bad guys, military personnel
or politicians. TOO HOT TO HANDLE
is a mess, but it's an entertaining mess that contains some nice
Philippines location photography, lots of nudity and Vic Diaz (always
an entertaining proposition!). Producer Ralph T. Desiderio (who also
produced all of Schain's other films), was also the producer of the
exceptionally bed regional horror flick TRACK
OF THE MOONBEAST (1972). Screenwriters J. Michael Sherman
and Don Buday would next find their place in badfilm history by
writing the teleplay to KISS
MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK (1978)! Also starring Corrine
Calvet, Jordan Rosengarten, Butz Aquino, Subas Herrero, Grace Lee,
Paquito Salcedo and Joonee (billed here as "June")
Gamboa. Released theatrically by New World Pictures and on VHS by
Warner Home Video. Available on a triple feature DVD (with TNT
JACKSON [1975] and FIRECRACKER
[1981]) as part of the LETHAL
LADIES COLLECTION (Volume One) from Shout!
Factory. Rated R.
TORTURE
DUNGEON (1970) - There is
no gray area when it comes to the late low-budget auteur Andy
Milligan (THE GHASTLY ONES
- 1968; THE BODY BENEATH -
1970; THE
RATS ARE COMING! THE WEREWOLVES ARE HERE! - 1972; BLOOD
- 1974; LEGACY OF HORROR
- 1979; CARNAGE - 1983;
and many others). You either love him or hate him. I happen to love
him (well, most of his films) because, even though his films were
dialogue-heavy (which turns off a lot of people), if you listen to
what the people are actually saying, you will get an idea the
torturous life that Milligan lived (and, believe me, it wasn't
pretty). Even though the title of this period film is somewhat
misleading, it still is one of Milligan's bloodiest films. It begins
with the ruler of some centuries-old kingdom (probably England, but
it never says so) cutting a rose from a bush and then a black-hooded
executioner sneaks up behind him and chops off his head with a
medieval axe. We then see his funeral procession at a beach (where
anachronisms abound, including a
modern-day buoy in the water), where mentally deficient pallbearer
Albert, Duke of Aberthy (Milligan regular Hal Borske), who is next in
line to become King, is seen continuously picking his nose and
looking at his boogers! The unnamed sister of the dead King blames
her half-brother, Norman, Duke Of Norwich (Jerremy Brooks; that's the
way it is spelled in the opening credits) for her brother's death.
She confides in her also unnamed female servant that she was in love
with her brother and is pregnant with his child. She swears that one
day she will get even with Norman, proclaiming, "From now on,
revenge is my lover!" Norman and his sidekick, Ivan the
Hunchback (Richard Mason), conspire with the Council to eventually
get rid of the people next in line for ruler, which is in this order:
Albert, Lady Agatha (Donna Whitfield) and Lady Jane (Patrician
Dillon), all brothers and sisters of the dead King who hate Norman
(Well, Albert is incapable of hating anyone, since it is obvious he
is mentally retarded). Being that Norman was only the King's
half-brother and is not 100% royal blood (his mother was a prostitute
who got knocked up by his half-brother's father), he is considered
not fit to be a ruler, but since it is the Council that actually runs
the kingdom (the King is nothing but a figurehead that does the
Council's bidding), Norman can rule the kingdom by proxy. Peter the
Eye (Neil Flanagan, who was the titled GURU
THE MAD MONK - 1970, another Milligan film), the
eyepatch-wearing head of the Council, reminds Norman that in order
for this plan to work, Albert must get married to a plague-free bride
(the Bubonic Plague has wiped-out nearly half of the kingdom's
population) so he can produce a male heir, which Norman and the
Council will use as a puppet to do their evil biddings. They all vote
that nineteen year-old Heather MacGregor (Susan Cassidy) will be
Albert's bride. The problem is, Heather is in love with peasant
William (Dan Tyra), as we watch them frolicking nude in a stream and
then making love (this film has a lot of female nudity in it, which
runs opposite to Milligan's real-life homosexuality, but there are
also a lot of naked male asses in this film, too). Heather's father,
Mr. MacGregor (Robert Fucillo), who was forced to sell his daughter
to the Council for thirty pieces of gold, and family friend
Margaret, the one-eyed hag (Maggie Rogers), assure Heather that the
arranged marriage will be beneficial to her, as she will never go
hungry again and she will now have the title "Lady Heather".
Heather's father has a bout of guilty conscience and arranges for
his daughter to escape the kingdom, but first Heather must try to get
William to believe she doesn't love him anymore (it doesn't work).
William and Heather decide to escape together, but two hood-wearing
executioners nail William's hands to the side of a barn, impale his
chest with a pitchfork (a Milligan trademark) and disembowel him with
a knife (this happens right after Ivan and the loincloth-wearing
Marvin [George Box], a long-time friend of Heather's, have a
homoerotic wrestling match and Ivan whispers something into his ear).
With William dead, Heather has no choice but to become halfwit
Albert's bride. But before that happens, Lady Agatha and Lady Jane
warn her of Norman's plan, even going as far as to show her Norman's
torture dungeon, where we see various victims missing tongues, eyes,
lips and legs (one of Milligan's most ambitious and effective scenes
in any of his films, but this is the only time that we see the
torture dungeon in the entire film). It seems that Norman has bouts
of unexplained "fits" (it could be epilepsy) and when he
does, he likes to hurt people and take them to his dungeon for some
torture sessions, including Agatha's and Jane's male servants
(There's a scene in the film where Norman has one of his
"fits" when a snake bites Ivan on his hump. Norman cuts the
hump open with a dagger and forces a servant to suck out the
poison!). We then cut to a scene where Rosemary (Patricia Garvey)
catches Ivan in Norman's bed and Norman quite frankly says, "I'll
try anything. I'm not a homosexual. I'm not a heterosexual. I'm not
asexual. I'm trisexual. I'll try anything for pleasure." He then
makes love to Rosemary. Heather marries retard Albert (he doesn't
even know how to kiss the bride when the priest announces "I now
pronounce you man and wife.") and when it come to the honeymoon
night, Albert is more interested in eating chicken than having sex,
so Norman has to show him how to do it step-by-step (we then learn
that Albert was "mysteriously" dropped on his head when he
was six years-old). When the deed is done, Heather leaves the room
when Albert falls asleep, but the two hooded executioners enter the
bedroom and hammer a wooden stake into Albert's heart. Norman
celebrates Albert's death by having a ménage a trois with Ivan
and Rosemary, but first he makes Ivan tell Rosemary his life story
(it's quite funny in its awfulness) and Rosemary has to tell her life
story to Ivan (it's not pretty) so they become friends before they do
it (Norman says, "Just one big happy family!"). Lady Agatha
informs Heather of Albert's death and helps her escape the kingdom.
Norman stabs Agatha in her stomach with his dagger when he discovers
what she has done. Lady Jane hides out with Mr. MacGregor and the
one-eyed Margaret, but when she tries to escape the kingdom on
horseback, one of the hooded executioners kills her and dumps her
body in a stream. Norman decides to kill Heather (I guess using her
baby a a puppet is being dropped), as we then learn that Heather's
lifelong friend Marvin is one of the hooded executioners. He chases
Heather, knocks her out, puts her on a horse and takes her to a barn,
where he plans on killing her with an axe, but his love for her stops
him from doing it. Discovering that Heather is still alive, Ivan
stabs Marvin in the stomach with an iron spike, but Marvin manages to
impale Ivan's hump with a pitchfork before they both die. Heather
then tries to escape on a horse (it is tied to a post, so all she
does is ride around in a circle!), but Norman shows up swinging a
big-ass chain. Before Norman can kill Heather with the chain,
Margaret shows up and throws a spear, which impales Norman through
his torso, but Margaret is trampled by a horse in the process. Before
Margaret dies, we then learn that she was the unnamed sister we saw
in the beginning of the film. The baby she was carrying was actually
Heather and Margaret became disfigured when Norman tried to burn down
the church she was hiding in nearly twenty years earlier (I know, the
timeline in this film makes no sense at all.). Heather is actually
Mr. MacGregor's adopted daughter and Margaret has finally seen her
plan of revenge come to fruition before she dies. Heather is now
ruler of the kingdom and the Council has no chance in Hell of using
her as a puppet. Even though this film has all the trademarks
of a cheap Andy Milligan
film
(it was filmed in Staten Island on 16mm short ends of film stock for
less than $10,000 and blown up to 35mm for theatrical showings by
Milligan's longtime producer, the legendary cheapskate William
Mishkin), including library music, his patented swirling camera
movements and just barely acceptable acting (some of the smaller
parts were people Milligan pulled off the streets of Staten Island
for no pay and their Staten Island accents and horrible line readings
are very apparent). The 1.78:1 widescreen Blu-Ray,
released by William Olsen and his company Code
Red, is so pristine and colorful, we can see all the cheap
makeup effects for the first time at home as clearly as they could
ever have been seen. I don't remember this film being so sharp even
when I saw it in theaters back in the early-70's. The print is a
marvel to look at and makes the film all the more enjoyable to watch.
There is more than enough blood and gore on view to satisfy those
interested in early-70's exploitation films (much more than most of
Milligans other films) and it is nice that Code Red found a print
that is mostly uncut (thanks to licensing it and other Milligan films
from the legimate rights holder, Films Around The World), as most
other previous versions (on fullscreen VHS
from Midnight Video
and Something Weird Video)
were missing some of the more gorier bits, including later
theatrical releases on the bottom half of double bills. The
screenplay, by jack-of-all-trades Milligan (who photographed, edited,
sound recorded and designed the period costumes) and John Borske
(brother of Hal Borske), is quite involved (and has many instances of
sexual identity, some overt, some hidden), but somewhere, nearly
twenty years passed and no one aged, which is a real cheat to the
audience. Still, this is one of Milligan's films that even non-fans
of Milligan can enjoy, thanks to the frequent gore, nudity and the
beautiful print. If you really want to learn about Andy Milligan's
incredibly sad life, I would recommend that you try to find author
Jimmy McDonough's biography of Milligan, titled "THE
GHASTLY ONE: THE SEX-GORE NETHERWORLD OF FILMMAKER ANDY MILLIGAN".
It will make you appreciated the films of Milligan much more than
you do now. Code Red also released Milligan's BLOODTHIRSTY
BUTCHERS (1970) and THE
MAN WITH 2 HEADS (1972) on Blu-Ray, something I thought I
would never see in my lifetime. Look for reviews of them on this site
soon. I applaud Code Red for taking chances like this because most
other companies would not take the care needed to properly restore
these films (Just look at Retromedia
Entertainment's DVD titled THE
ANDY MILLIGAN GRINDHOUSE EXPERIENCE, which crams three of
Milligan's films onto one disc.). William Olsen has gone on record
saying that he rescued these prints used on the Blu-Rays just before
they turned to vinegar (using the Frankenstein technique of taking
the best parts of various reels from different prints to make one
cohesive film), but he must have put a lot of work into them to make
them look this good. Find these if you can. They are worth every
penny if you are an Andy Milligan fan. Also starring Helen Adams and
Matt Baylor. A Code Red Blu-Ray Release. Rated R.
TRIP
WITH THE TEACHER (1974) -
Mid-70's Crown International Pictures exploitation flick, which mixes
cheerleader-like sexploitation with some LAST
HOUSE ON THE LEFT (1972) nastiness. A short bus carrying
teacher Miss Tenny (Brenda Fogarty; CHESTY
ANDERSON, USN - 1976) and a handfull of pretty young teenage
girls, along with driver Marvin (Jack Driscoll), are driving down a
highway in the middle of the California desert on their way to a
weekend field trip. Meanwhile, on the same stretch of road, biker
Pete (Robert Porter; THE JESUS TRIP
- 1971) has a tire blow out on his motorcycle, forcing him and his
malcontent brother Al (the late Zalman King; BLUE
SUNSHINE - 1977), to pull over to the side of the road.
Luckily, good-guy biker Jay (Robert Gribbin; HITCH
HIKE TO HELL - 1977, also featuring Jack Driscoll) passes by
and helps Pete temporarily fix the flat. He offers to ride with the
duo until they get to the next gas station and Pete agrees (over Al's
back-handed comment, "What is he still doing here?"). The
trio of bikers ride until they catch up with the bus, where the girls
flirt through the windows with Jay and Pete, but the moody Al stays
behind the bus and ignores the girls. Everyone pulls into the
next gas station, where schoolgirls Julie (Cathy Worthington) and Pam
(Susan Russell) flirt with Jay, while Pete and a morose Al hang out
by the 7-Up machine and watch the action (Teacher Miss Tenny doesn't
seem too concerned at all, but bus driver Marvin acts like he's the
girls' unofficial guardian, refusing to answer Jay's questions about
where they are coming from or going to and making sure all the girls
are on the bus once it is filled-up with gas). After the bus leaves
the station, Al gets into a confrontation with the gas station
attendant when he accidentally (?) spills gas on Al's gas tank. Al
then kills the attendant (out of eyeshot of Pete and Jay) by lowering
a jacked-up car on him and the trio then take off to catch up with
the bus, which has conveniently broken down on the side of the road,
"smack-dab in the middle of nowhere". Slut Bobbie (Dina
Ousley) and virginal Pam get into a catfight when Pam calls her a
bitch, just as the three bikers arrive on the scene. While Pete tries
to fix the bus, Jay and Julie flirt with each other some more and Al
zeroes-in on Bobbie. When it is discovered that the bus' fuel pump is
shot, Jay, Pete and Al tow the bus with their bikes until they come
to a deserted farmhouse. Now the real "fun" begins. Al
kills Marvin by running him over with his bike (breaking his neck),
so Al decides that no one will get out alive. Al and Pete tie-up Jay
and Al rapes Miss Tenny, while Bobbie, Pam and Tina (Jill Voight)
keep Pete sexually entertained so Julie can untie Jay and let him
escape on his bike. Jay dies when Pete runs his bike over a cliff. Al
kills Tina (by suffocating her face-first in the sand) when she tries
to escape and then Al rapes Bobbie, forcing everyone to watch. Turns
out Jay didn't die after all (he was playing possum) and he returns
to the farmhouse, hangs Pete with a piece of rope and gets into a
fight with Al. It all ends when Miss Tenny impales Al in his back
with a metal spike. Today's lesson: Don't fuck with the teacher!
This is a pretty boring exploitation flick for 75% of its running
time. Director/producer/screenwriter Earl Barton (a former 50's bit
actor and dance choreographer; this is his only directorial effort)
slow burns this film so much, it's like trying to light a
tightly-wrapped joint and getting a good hit. It doesn't help that
Zalman King gives such a lethargic performance; he looks and acts
like he is sleepwalking through much of the film. The only time his
acting comes to life is when he is ripping-off the clothes, raping or
killing the young girls (and teacher Miss Tenny), which may be why
King basically gave up acting to become a
director/producer/screenwriter of arty, well-made erotic films and
cable TV series, including Showtime's THE
RED SHOES DIARIES (1992 - 1996; with a pre-X-FILES
David Duchovny) and TWO MOON JUNCTION
(1988; a personal favorite of mine), among many others. TRIP
WITH THE TEACHER (also known as DEADLY
FIELD TRIP; distributed on VHS by Monarch Home Video under
this title) has the look and feel of a 70's TV movie, with some
nudity and violence not allowed on TV at the time tossed into the
mix, but the problem is there's not enough nudity or violence to make
this film the sleaze classic it wants to be. Zalman King (who passed
away in early 2012) is no David Hess (who passed away late in 2011)
and this film fails to generate the suspense needed for the viewers
to care about the girls' plight. I wouldn't even call this film an
interesting failure. It's just a failure. Speaking of exploitation,
late label BCI Eclipse has exploited this title on DVD in many
incarnations, beginning as a double
feature with MALIBU HIGH (1970)
as part of their "Welcome To The Grindhouse" line and then
as part of their DRIVE-IN
CLASSICS 8,
16
& 32 MOVIE COLLECTION series Also available as part of
the 12-film GOREHOUSE
GREATS COLLECTION from Mill Creek (talk about false
advertising!). Also available on a Double
Feature DVD with JAIL
BAIT BABYSITTER (1977) from Code
Red. Rated R.
TRUCK
STOP WOMEN (1974) - This is
70's exploitation at it's finest. Anna (Lieux Dressler; KINGDOM
OF THE SPIDERS - 1977) runs a truck stop in New Mexico
that's a front for prostitution and stolen truck rackets. Anna has
cameras installed in every room of her motel, where she watches and
listens to truckers screw and talk to her girls, picking up tidbits
of information of expensive loads the truckers are hauling. She then
sends daughter Rose (Claudia Jennings; GATOR
BAIT - 1974) and hooker Tina (Jennifer Burton; INVISIBLE
STRANGLER - 1977) to go out and hijack the trucks,
pretending to be two stranded girls on the highway. Anna runs into
trouble when Mob guy Smith (John Martino) is sent by his East Coast
associates to put her out of business, even though she has backing
from the West Coast Mafia. When Smith tries to hijack a load of
already stolen color TVs from Anna's truck stop, Anna's employees
Curly (Dennis Fimple), Mac (Gene Drew) and Winter (Len Lesser) stop
him and send Smith and his goon Rusty
(Speed Sterns, also the film's Stunt Coordinator) packing. Trouble
ensues when Rose turns traitorous and sides with Smith, even sleeping
with him. When Anna learns that her West Coast mob boss has been
murdered (We see Smith and Rusty gun him and a whore down in a
bathtub in the film's first scene), she asks her West Coast
connection, Seago (Paul Carr, who plays his role as if he's dying of
tuberculosis), for some help. Anna goes to Smith's truck stop and
slugs Rose (knocking her out) and she and Mac bring her back home
(Rusty tries to stop them, but wrecks one of Smith's trucks in the
process). When Winter and another one of Anna's mechanics are
murdered by a mystery killer (we only see the ring on his finger),
Anna makes a deal with Seago to rip-off some securities hidden in a
truck full of cattle in exchange for Seago's help in getting rid of
Smith. It is at this time we learn the identity of the mystery killer
and Anna, Mac and Curly will have to watch their backs. After pulling
off the securities heist and finding a piece of evidence pointing to
the guilty party, Anna and her two men devise a plan to bring down
Smith and rescue Rose (There's nothing like the sight of women firing
machine guns in anger!). The finale in a ghost town has an unexpected
twist that I didn't see coming. Better acted than most 70's
exploitationers, thanks to a cast of veterans (it's even sadder when
you realize that Claudia Jennings, Paul Carr, Dennis Fimple, Len
Lesser, Lieux Dressler and Gene Drew are all dead now), this early
effort from director/producer/co-scripter Mark L. Lester (CLASS
OF 1984 - 1981; COMMANDO
- 1985) covers all the bases, tossing in plenty of nudity, action and
violence into the mix and doing it with a lot of panache. Lieux
Dressler stands out as the tough-as-nails broad who still has a soft
spot for her daughter. It's nice to see a woman in charge for a
change and Dressler does a remarkable job here, fighting, loving and
driving an 18 wheeler just as well as any man. Claudia Jennings (GATOR
BAIT - 1974; THE GREAT
TEXAS DYNAMITE CHASE - 1975; SISTERS
OF DEATH
- 1977), who lost her life at an early age in a tragic car accident,
plays Rose as the ultimate conniving bitch and does a very good job
at it. It's plain to see that she had talent, which makes it sad to
think how far she could have gone if she didn't lose her life.
All-in-all, TRUCK STOP WOMEN
is an exciting, sexy romp with a good story (Remember when films like
this actually had good stories?), better than normal acting and some
good looking women (surprisingly, some older ones, too) in various
states of undress. A true gem of the raunchy 70's. Director Lester
had much success in the 80's and early 90's with films like FIRESTARTER
(1984), CLASS OF 1999
(1990) and SHOWDOWN IN LITTLE TOKYO
(1991). He then went on to direct tight, low-budget DTV films like NIGHT
OF THE RUNNING MAN (1994), THE
EX (1997), MISBEGOTTEN
(1998) and SACRIFICE
(2000). His last directorial effort (as of this writing) was the
horror film PTERODACTYL
(2005) for the Sci-Fi Network. Also starring Dolores Dorn, Eric Nord,
Nicky Blair and a cameo by sexploitation queen Uschi Digard (BEAUTIES
AND THE BEAST - 1973). Originally released on VHS by Vestron
Video and later by Bingo Video. Still awaiting a DVD release,
but soon to be available on Blu-Ray
from Code Red. Rated R.
VIOLATED
(1984) - This sleazy rape/revenge exploitationer opens with Liz
Grant (Elizabeth Kaitan) getting raped at a party thrown at mobster
Jack Diamond's (D. Balin) home. When Liz reports the rape at the
local police station, Detective Kevin McBane (J.C. Quinn) talks (or,
rather, shames) her out of filing a report when he hears Jack
Diamond's name mentioned. It seems Diamond throws at lot of parties
at his house and rape and abuse is a common theme. He gets away with
it, too, since the clients at his parties are rich and influential.
The latest victim-to-be is 18 year-old soap opera actress Lisa Robb
(April Daisy White). She attends one of Diamond's parties and catches
the eye of sadistic mobster Frank Lyon (Alec Massey), the same
scumbag who raped Liz. After some innocent skinnydipping in the pool,
Lisa is later tied to a bed and gang-raped by Diamond and Frank. When
she gets home, Lisa's overbearing Aunt Shirley (Kaye Dowd) berates
her with an "I told you so!" diatribe and her 13 year-old
brother Danny (Jonathan Ward) makes Aunt Shirley call the police when
he sees what shape she's in. Detective McBane shows up at the house
and questions Lisa, but she refuses to co-operate, although a strange
friendship developes between her and McBane. A newspaper reporter
latches on to Lisa's story when Aunt Shirley gives him enough
information to make it a front page story, pissing off
Frank, who warns Diamond to take care of the problem before the
police look too closely into Frank's illegal businesses (including a
huge shipment of marijuana sitting on a ship at sea). Thanks to the
newspaper story, a Grand Jury is convened and everyone at the party
Lisa was at is issued supoenas. Diamond and Frank intimidate the
witnesses to lie and Lisa goes to McBane for help. He
"unofficially" questions Liz (who is now a high-priced call
girl in Diamond's stable) and he and Lisa go snooping around
Diamond's party house, where they find a library of videotapes of
hidden camera porn and rapes. When McBane finds a tape showing Liz's
rape, he has all the proof he needs to nail Diamond and, eventually,
Frank, but no one will ever see the tape because it was obtained
illegally. At the Grand Jury, everyone lies, saying Lisa was doing
drugs and hitting on every man at the party (even showing an
out-of-context videotape of her skinnydipping in the pool), making
her look like a tramp. Diamond and Frank get off scott-free and Lisa
is shamed in public and loses her soap opera gig. She grabs a gun and
goes out seeking justice, not aware that McBane has the same idea. No
one lives happily ever after. It's really difficult to
establish what kind of film one-shot wonder
director/producer/co-scripter Richard Cannistraro was going for here
(he even has a small acting role in this). On one hand, it's a sleazy
rape and nudity-filled exploitationer, where women are naked as much
as possible and there are scenes that are uncomfortably intense.
While the rapes are hard to watch, the scene that really upset me is
when Lisa's 13 year-old brother Danny walks into her bedroom while
she is topless and she doesn't even attempt to cover-up. On the
contrary, they talk graphically about her tits, his masturbation
habits and at one point he hugs her naked torso and says, "If I
wasn't your brother!" Yecch! On the other hand, Cannistraro
tries to show us how the court system can make anyone look guilty
given the right circumstances, especially in cases of rape. Since
this was made before Rape Shield Laws were put into effect, this film
shows that rape was a fairly easy crime to get away with, since the
victim's sexual history could be brought up as evidence of character.
Unfortunately, this film has a hard time meshing all the elements
together as a cohesive whole and VIOLATED
fails to entertain. It plays like one of Lisa's soap operas, with
very little to recommend besides some full-frontal female nudity (the
men keep their pants on, even while raping the women!). John Heard (C.H.U.D.
- 1984) puts in a cameo as an arms dealer who supplies McBane with a rifle
VIRGIN
APOCALYPSE (1988) - Here's a
Joseph Lai-produced piece of sleaze that's not his usual 80's-style
cut-and-paste stuff. Gang leader Chan Chung (Danny Lee) runs a female
slavery ring where he has his gay photographer cohort Ah Kahn (Paul
Lee) stage phony photo shoots in order to kidnap the female models
and turn them into prostitutes for use around the world. Flamer Ah
Kahn hits on a dude in a disco ("You're real sexy, like Charles
Bronson!"), not realizing that the guy is Ho King (Bill Lau), a
private detective that has just returned from England and is
investigation the disappearances of several women. Ho King goes out
on a "date" with Ah Kahn, but when Ho asks too many
questions about the missing women, he is knocked-out by a couple of
thugs and wakes up with his pants pulled down around his ankles, with
Ah Kahn whacking his penis over and over with a chopstick! Ho is
eventually thrown down a sewer and left to die, but he is rescued a
few days later by
a pedestrian who hears his cries for help. We are then taken to the
camp where the kidnapped women are "conditioned" for their
new lives as whores or indentured servants. Those that try to escape
suffer even harder fates: They are either constantly dunked in a
river while trapped in bamboo cages, forced to stand out in the hot
sun until their skin blisters or put in wooden coffin-like boxes
filled with snakes. Tough cookie kidnapee Judi (Eva Bisset) runs her
own exclusive clique in the camp and constantly gets into catfights
with other captive women, especially new girl Tina (Gigi Bovee), but
when Judi's sister dies after being raped (She is taken to the camp
doctor, who is told, "She thinks she's in pain down
below!"), Judi and Tina join forces and lead a revolt,
eventually escaping after much gunfire and death. Judi and Tina go
after Chen Chung, Ah Kahn and other members of the Triad, using their
womanly charms to lure and kill their prey (one poor guy is hung by
his ankles over a bathtub as it fills with water). Ho King is also
after the same people; only he is now (incredibly) working for the
police. Ho and the girls quickly join forces and begin torturing gang
members (another poor guy has firecrackers tied to his penis, which
are then lit when he doesn't answer their questions fast enough!)
until Chan Chung is shot dead. The question then becomes: Who is Chan
Chung's boss? I'm afraid one major character is not going to like the
answer. This is a sweaty, depraved Hong Kong
sexploitation/action flick full of full-frontal female nudity and
scenes of torture and sexual depravity. Single-monikered director
Pasan (also known as "Pasha" and "Leung Poeh")
keeps the story moving at a quick clip, even though the screenplay
(credited to "Ho Ward Ki") makes very little sense.
Characters are introduced and then quickly forgotten and all logic is
thrown out the window to advance the plot (I guess the quickest way
to join the Hong Kong Police Department is to get your pecker twacked
with a chopstick and then get thrown in a sewer!). This film is full
of action and torture sequences, including gunfights, car chases,
martial arts fights and lots of snakes. There's not much meat to this
film, but you gotta love a flick where, in the finale, a bandaged
head-to-toe Ho King pursues another fully bandaged man (the head head
bad guy) through the hospital like two mummies, only for Ho to
discover that the bad guy is actually his brother, who slits his own
throat with a strait razor in front of Ho! What happens to Judi and
Tina? Well, I'm afraid that this film can't waste its time with small
details like that. Do you expect anything less from Joseph Lai? This
is one of those films where, based on the first couple of minutes,
you'll instantly know whether it's your cup of tea or not. It had me
hooked the moment when Ah Kahn stares at Ho's ass in the disco.
You'll know what I mean when you see it for yourself. Also known as ANGER,
ANGELS WITH GOLDEN GUNS
and TERROR IN A WOMAN'S PRISON. Also starring Loretta Leone,
Ryan Chu, Maria Ho, Richard Bau, Thompson Kao, Nuna Naru, Paul Lee
and director Pasan as a Triad boss. The print I viewed is fullscreen, English-dubbed
and free of the usual Dutch or Greek subtitles. Not Rated.
WALKING
THE EDGE (1983) - This
well-paced exploitation flick opens with sadistic hired muscle
Brusstar (Joe Spinell; THE
LAST HORROR FILM - 1982; RAPID
FIRE - 1989) and three goons holding Christine Holloway
(Nancy Kwan; WONDER WOMEN
- 1973; NIGHT CREATURE -
1978) and her son at gunpoint in their home while they wait for her
husband, a drug dealer who has double-crossed Brusstar's boss. When
he comes home, he and his son are shotgunned to death by Brusstar,
but Christine escapes into the darkness. Ex-minor league baseball
phenom Jason Walk (Robert Forster; ALLIGATOR
- 1980; VIGILANTE - 1982),
who now drives a taxicab but is actually a collector for a bookie, is
hired by Christine to drive her around for an hour while she takes
care of some "business". Unfortunately for Jason, that
business happens to be splattering the brains of Brusstar's boss
against the wall. Unaware of what she has done done, Jason then
drives Christine to the garage where Brusstar and the three goons
work, but things go horribly wrong. After Christine shoots one of the
goons in the eye, Brusstar and the other goons shoot back
and, from that point on, Jason and Christine's lives are forever
intertwined. Christine explains to Jason why she in on the revenge
spree, so the lunk-headed Jason agrees to help her. Not only do they
have to avoid the police, they now have to contend with Brusstar, who
is mighty pissed-off that Christine shot and killed his best friend
Jesus (Luis Contreras) with a bullet to the eye (He doesn't give a
rat's ass that his boss is dead, though). Brusstar orders the
remaining two goons, Jimmy (James McIntire) and McKee (Wayne
Woodson), to find the taxi driver, as it is the most logical way to
locate Christine. Jason drives around enforcing and collecting old
gambling debts so he can gather enough money together to send
Christine out of state. After Jason's best friend and nosy landlady
are both killed by Brusstar and Christine disappears, Jason goes on a
revenge spree of his own, killing Jimmy and McKee (he shoves a
butcher knife up McKee's ass!) and saves Brusstar for last, shooting
him a couple of times and then getting some "eye-for-an-eye"
vengeance with the same power drill Brusstar used on Jason's best
friend. Sometimes revenge is not a dish best served cold. First
off, let me state that I'll watch Robert Forster in anything, even if
all he is doing is reading the phone book. He's a classy actor that
automatically improves any film he's in, even if it's just a cameo.
Thankfully, WALKING THE EDGE
is a showcase for Forster's off-the-wall charms and is one of his
better early 80's films, made when Forster was beginning to go
through a bit of a dry spell (He had a lot of exposure in films and
TV during the 70's, starring in such films as MEDIUM
COOL [1969] and the TV series BANYON
[1972 - 73] and NAKIA
[1974]). His career waned throughout most of the 80's and early 90's,
resurging in the mid-90's, thanks to his Academy Award-nominated
performance in Quentin Tarantino's JACKIE
BROWN (1997). Director Norbert Meisel (LOVE
LUST AND VIOLENCE - 1975; NIGHT
CHILDREN - 1989) gives us a relatively sleazy slice-of-life
exploitationer that's helped immensely by the on-location photography
of Hollywood's seedier landmarks and Curt Allen's expletive-filled
script, which contains some humorous, as well as racist,
dialogue (Forster must have liked the screenplay, because Allen
later wrote the script to HOLLYWOOD
HARRY [1985], the only directorial effort by Forster). The
most intense scene is when Brusstar, Jimmy and McKee torture Jason's
best friend Tony (A Martinez; NOT
OF THIS WORLD - 1991) with a power drill to try and get him
to give up Jason. The entire torture session is intercut with scenes
of Jason and Christine making love, which reveals a "pleasure
and pain" scenario that's very hard to watch. The
knife-up-the-ass runs a close second, as McKee pleads for his life in
the dingy bathroom of a punk rock bar, while Jason slowly shoves and
twists the knife further up his ass. Joe Spinell is his regular
sweaty self and has a humorous scene at a batting cage that
eventually turns nasty. As a matter of fact, this film is full of
baseball metaphors, some overt and some buried deep in the dialogue.
Give this film a chance and you just might find yourself enjoying it
more than you thought you would. Also starring Terrence Beasor, Russ
Courtney, Aarika Wells, Jackie Giroux (TRICK
OR TREATS - 1982) and Ivy Bethune as Jason's nosy landlady,
Mrs. Johnson. Originally released on VHS by Vestron
Video and available on widescreen DVD from Anchor
Bay Entertainment. Rated R.
WAR
VICTIMS (1985) - Some may view this
as a standard Indonesian sleaze epic, but they would only be
partially correct. This film actually makes a strong political
statement about patriotism and the willingness to suffer greatly for
your cause. During World War II, an Indonesian girl named Amelia
(Marissa Haque) is sent to an all-female P.O.W. camp, run by brutal
Japanese soldiers, after watching her rebel opposition boyfriend get
riddled with bullets by the Japs. Once at the camp, she and the other
women are subjected to sadistic torture and sexual abuse by the male
guards. Amelia, who is pregnant, loses her baby during one such
torture session, but she refuses to give up hope (She says,
"Freedom must be earned. We must be willing to sacrifice
everything else in our life for it."). When the Allies bomb the
camp from the air (and accidentally kill one of the women), a
visiting Japanese General theorizes that one of the female prisoners
must be a spy (it's Amelia) since the camp is also a secret
ammunition depot (One of the female prisoners steps out of formation,
rips open her blouse and shows the General her hideously deformed
breasts, the product of the camp's torture techniques. The General is
so disgusted by what he sees, he orders her to be shot! His orders
are carried out immediately.). Amelia is raped the next day by the
camp's most brutal guard, Sgt, Tukigawa. When she reports it to the
camp's commander, Nokamura (the only Japanese soldier
here depicted as having anything close to a conscience), he tells
Amelia that without corroboration, there's nothing he can do. When
two of his guards are killed by mistake (one is shot and killed by
his own buddy when his gun discharges accidentally), Nokamura has no
choice but to force the women to stand in the blazing sun with no
water. One of the women goes mad with heatstroke and is shot dead
trying to escape by climbing over the camp's barbwire fence. Amelia
and most of the women come up with a plan for escape and attempt it
one night when Nokamura is away (He's actually at headquarters
pleading for better treatment of his prisoners!). They fail
miserably, as some of the women are shot, one is attacked by a huge
snake, another steps on an explosive boobytrap and some are
electrocuted on the camp's fence. Amelia then becomes Nokamura's
lover, which pisses-off the rest of the female prisoners. Is Amelia
simply pretending until the right time comes along for her to strike
or is her love for Nokamura real? It seems it's a little of both, as
Amelia ends up pregnant with Nokamura's baby, but when the rebels
storm the camp and free the women, Nokamura commits hara-kiri rather
than being captured. Once again, Amelia is left alone and pregnant,
only this time she can raise her child in freedom. WAR
VICTIMS (a.k.a. KAMP
TAWANAN WANITA) will find no favor with Japanese viewers
thanks to their depiction here. All the Nippons, besides Nokamura,
are portrayed as maniacal laughing rapists who view the women in the
camp as disposable playthings to be used, abused and then killed with
hardly an afterthought. The scene where Nokamura leaves the camp to
plead with his superiors for humane treatment of his female
prisoners, only to be rebuffed, shamed and then told that these women
are nothing but cattle and are the spoils of war for the Japanese
soldiers to rape, cements the film's political agenda. Director Jopi
Burnama (FEROCIOUS
FEMALE FREEDOM FIGHTERS - 1982; the amazing THE
INTRUDER - 1986), working with a script written by brother
Piet Burnama, doesn't skimp on the sleazier aspects of P.O.W. life
(there's rape, humiliation, whippings, hangings and brandings), but
there's more to this film than sleaze. Burnama shows what it really
means to suffer for freedom (most Americans could learn something
here), even if the beginning of the film is a little overblown, where
we hear a bombastic narrator say, "War is a thrilling and
glorious thing only to those that have never experienced it in
reality!" and he then goes on even longer giving us examples
why! The film closes with the same narrator saying, "And this is
war! A Hell on Earth! Will the madmen of the world ever learn this
lesson?", followed by a stream of children dressed in white
walking across the landscape while "The Beginning" is
flashed on-screen. A little heavy-handed? Yes, but it does make it's
point rather effectively. The script has a little more meat on it's
bones than most Indonesian genre films, but it doesn't sacrifice
those ingredients we've come to expect from out friends in the Far
East: Namely, outrageous pieces of oddball dialogue ("You're a
horse's ass, Mr. Stallion!"), graphic violence (bodies explode;
a woman has a sword hammered through her torso while she is tied-up)
and nudity. Worth searching out. Also starring Boy Tirayoh, Mangara
Siahaan, Farida Ciptadi, Jeffi Sani, Ivina Anwar, Advent Cristy and
H. Usman Effendi. WAR VICTIMS
was once available on VHS in the U.S. from Video City Productions
with the nudity optically fogged. The print I viewed was sourced from
a Greek-subtitled VHS tape which, in turn, looks to have been sourced
from a Japanese print since all the nudity is optically fogged-out
and a black band covers the bottom fifth of the screen, blocking out
the Japanese subtitles and superimposing the Greek subtitles overtop
them! Not Rated.
THE
WOMAN HUNT (1972) - Filipino
rip-off of THE MOST
DANGEROUS GAME (1932) with plenty of sex and some violence
thrown in for good measure. Four women are kidnapped, blindfolded and
driven to the jungle compound of demented hunter/rapist Spiros (Eddie
Garcia; BEAST OF BLOOD
- 1970) and his lesbian assistant Manda (Pat Woodell; THE
BIG DOLL HOUSE - 1971). On their way to the compound, the
women try to escape by seducing their "escorts", Silas (Sid
Haig; who sports a full head of hair), Tony (John Ashley; also one of
the Producers) and Carp (Ken Metcalfe; who sports a ridiculous fake
nose, a long hippie wig and a headband), but are unsuccessful. The
women are brought
to the compound and given pretty clothes to wear, but they know
their lives are in danger, especially when they find a previous
kidnapee named Sam (Alona Alegre) drugged and sexually assaulted. The
arrival by helicopter of a group of men of varying nationalities
further cements that the ladies are in serious trouble. In case you
haven't guessed by now, the men have paid Spiros exorbitant sums of
money for the pleasure of setting these women free in the jungle to
hunt them down like animals. Tony doesn't agree with what is going
down, so he grabs the girls and some guns and they head for freedom,
while Spiros and the other men go on a practice hunt with Sam as the
prey. One of the girls is shot and killed by the guards during the
escape (Carp shoots and kills Silas for being drunk on his watch) and
another girl breaks her leg during the trek through the jungle, which
forces Tony and the remaining two girls to go on without her (She
does manage to gun down Carp and delay the hunt before Spiros kills
her). When another girl is bitten by a cobra and dies (Tony kind of
sucks at being a "protector", doesn't he?), Tony and the
last girl decide to stay put and make a stand. Setting up spiked
booby traps, Tony and the girl wait for Spiros to show up (everyone
else, except Manda, are either dead or have fled the jungle). It ends
with a seriously wounded Spiros blowing his brains out (after he
mercifully puts a bullet in Manda's brainpan when she steps on a
spiked booby trap), even though he has Tony and the girl in his gun
sights, letting them escape to safety. This average 70's
exploitationer, directed and co-produced by Eddie Romero (BRIDES
OF BLOOD - 1968; THE
BEAST OF THE YELLOW NIGHT - 1970; SAVAGE
SISTERS - 1974; all starring frequent Romero collaborator
John Ashley), suffers from poor pacing, lethargic acting (especially
from Ashley and Pat Woodell, who both starred in Romero's TWILIGHT
PEOPLE the same year) and not enough violence, as well as
some jarring jump cuts that seem to edit out huge chunks of the
story. I really don't understand why this was done (the film runs
slightly over 71 minutes) since there is plenty of nudity and bits of
R-rated violence on view (Sid Haig's death and the shooting in the
head of one hunter, where blood shoots out of the wound like a
gusher), but since this film was released by New World Pictures, it's
not unlikely that Roger Corman ordered the cuts to pick up the
pacing. The only problem is that THE
WOMAN HUNT is too disjointed now to hold the viewer's
complete interest. It just jumps from scene-to-scene with no
connective tissue, like an unfinished film. In my opinion, this is
minor 70's exploitation that is lacking in every department except
for nudity. Even the four kidnapped women, portrayed by Charlene
Jones, Lisa Todd, Laurie Rose and Liza Belmonte, are interchangeable
and lack distinct personalities. They are not given much to do but
disrobe and run around. Not a must-see unless you're a 70's
exploitation completist. Or easily entertained. Also starring Lotis
Key, Alfonso Carvajal, Ruben Rustia, Don Lipman, Tony Gosalvez and
Paquito Salcedo. Originally released on VHS by Charter
Entertainment and not yet available on DVD. Rated R.
UPDATE: Eddie Romero passed away on March 28, 2013.
WOMEN
IN CELL BLOCK 7 (1973) -
After watching director Rino Di Silvestro's WEREWOLF
WOMAN (1976) and enjoying it immensely, I decided to visit
this film. Silvestro's film resume seems to deal with one topic:
Women. Women in trouble. Women caught in situations beyond their
control. Women cursed to live a life they did not want. The first
thing I noticed when watching this film is how Silvestro doesn't give
many of the major characters proper names, only giving them nicknames
or labeling them by the crimes they committed or were convicted of.
Only the main protagonist is given a proper name, a subtle way of
getting the audience to feel for her. And feel you will.
This film is actually a mixture of "poliziotteschi"
(Italian crime) and women in prison (WIP) genres, as we watch two New
York Mafia dons arrive in Rome and Interpol is tracking their every
move. They are after a large shipment of heroin and they are worse
than any crime syndicate, as you will see as the film unfolds. An
Italian Mafia don called Tonino kills the two New York dons, stealing
their drugs and spoiling Interpol's plans. When Tonino is killed in a
car chase, Interpol puts his girlfriend Daniela Vinci (Jenny Tamburi; THE
PSYCHIC - 1977) in the titled prison on a trumped-up charge
of drug possession. They put a female Interpol agent (Anita
Strindberg; ALMOST HUMAN
- 1974), the daughter of Mafia don Musumeci, in the same prison
prison, in hopes that she can get the location of where the shipment
of heroin is from Daniela. The only problem is, Daniela has no idea
where it is because her boyfriend never told her. Interpol doesn't
care, as they think she is lying and they will do anything to get her
to tell them where it is. Anything.
We then watch a car chase, where a rival crime syndicate is chasing
Musumeci (they think he knows where the heroin is hidden) through the
streets of Rome and ending up at a quarry. His car is pushed over a
ravine, causing it to roll over. He gets out of the car and his fate
is not yet revealed (it will be as the film progresses)
We then see that Musumeci is being tortured by his rivals. One thug
says, "Pull his legs apart. I want to practice my dropkick!"
and then we hear Musumeci scream in pain. We will hear more
from Musumeci later. The film then switches to the prerequisite WIP
shower scene (lots of full-frontal nudity and lesbian action).
Mammasantissima (who I will refer to as "Mamma" in the rest
of the review because her nickname is to tough to memorize and type
[Fuck cut-and-paste, who hads time for that?]) says in the shower,
"This soap smells like a whore's asshole!" and Musumeci's
daughter (who I will now refer to as "Inmate #1" for the
same reason as Mamma) replies, "Well, you outta know,
Sweetie!" Mamma retorts, "Listen, baby, go hump a
snake!" (You'll be hearing a lot of that type of dialogue in
this film). Daniela gets a job in the prison's sewing facility and is
issued a new cell, her roomates being the pyromaniac, among others.
We then hear a love ballad titled "Let It Rain" on the
soundtrack while the pyromaniac tries to explain the "beauty of
fire" to Daniela (the pyro is on Interpol's payroll). Mamma puts
the moves on Inmate #1 when she is moved into her cell, but another
inmate throws a shoe at her and says, "Get back in the sack, you
rotten lesbo!" and Inmate #1 is safe...for now. The religious
fanatic goes to the Warden (Massimo Serato; AUTOPSY
- 1973) and asks for a change of cells because inmates are
persecuting her for "praying to the Virgin". The Warden
agrees and puts her in the same cell as Daniela. Inmate #1 asks Mamma
if she has the pull to get Daniela transferred to their cell and she
says she will try, but she owes her. That includes being Mamma's sex
toy. A fire breaks out in Daniela's cell (I wonder who did it?) and
she barely makes it out alive. To add insult to injury, Daniela is
transferred to solitary and tied to her bed (it seems even the prison
matrons are on Interpol's payroll).
We then watch as Musumeci escapes from his captors, stealing a gun
and running for his life. He is cornered in an underground sewer
system, yet he manages to escape and kills some of his rivals. Alas,
his freedom is short-lived, as he steps on a rotten plank on a
catwalk and falls to his death. The Godfather punishes the man he
thinks is responsible for Musumeci's death (He is also on Interpol's
payroll and wanted Musumeci alive) by throwing him in an incinerator
and watching him burn alive. Will Interpol tell Inmate #1 that her
father is dead? What do you think? Inmate #1 gets herself thrown into
solitary by slapping the Chief Matron (Olga Bisera) hard across her
face. This is her last chance to find out where the drugs are hidden.
As she is talking to Daniela through the wall between their cells,
she discovers that just before Tonino's death, he stopped
at his aunt's house to deliver some cakes. It doesn't take a genius
to figure out that they were not cakes at all, but the missing
heroin. Inmate #1 contacts Interpol and they get the drugs. Do they
tell her that her father is dead? Does Daniela get out of the
hellhole of a prison? All will be answered in the finale, where the
women "riot" (If rioting is all the inmates stamping their
feet and yelling "Fuck You!" in unison) and the guilty (and
not-so-guilty) meet fitting demises.
While this film is not as good as Silvestro's later output
(including LOVE ANGELS
[1974]; DEPORTED WOMEN OF THE SS
SPECIAL SECTION [1976] and, especially, the sleazy HANNA
D: THE GIRL FROM VONDEL PARK [1984]), it is still
entertaining nonetheless. There's a scene toward the end of the film
when the prisoners are watching a Gordon Scott Movie (DANGER!
DEATH RAY - 1967) and one female inmate, who has a distinct
mustache and looks like a man, gives Mama a shit-eating grin full of
rotten teeth and Mamma shouts out, "Oh rats! Geez, I feel
surrounded by you guys!" which made me laugh out loud. This is
one of the few times all the inmates were smiling, a movie being
their only non-sexual pleasure in prison. Daniela's fate is
particularly upsetting. She is an innocent woman, her only crime
being that she was the girlfriend of a gangster and Interpol makes
sure that her life is a living hell. When it is revealed that she
unintentionally know where the drugs are hidden, someone poisons her
and when Inmate #1 tells her superiors that they should release her,
the Chief Matron tells Warden that she is dead. She was just and end
to a means to Interpol and she was totally disposable. There are no
happy endings here, especially the nihilistic finale where we learn
is is not right to fuck with the Mafia!
Released theatrically in the U.S. by Terry
Levene's Aquarius Releasing in 1974 (Levene took an Executive
Producer credit, even though he had nothing to do with the production
of this film, just like he did on DOCTOR
BUTCHER M.D. - 1980). Levene made sure that this film played
on double and triple features well into the 1980s. Originally
released on fullscreen VHS by Paragon
Video and then on U.S.A.
Home Video as part of "Sybil Danning's Adventure Video"
line of exploitation films (The review is based on this tape, which
is surprisingly crisp and colorful, as well as being uncut). It got a
widescreen DVD release as part of WOMEN IN
PRISON TRIPLE FEATURE from Shock-O-Rama Cinema (Long OOP),
which also included THE HOT BOX
(1972) and ESCAPE FROM HELL
(1980). Filmed as DIARIO
SEGRETODA UN CARCERE FEMMINILE ("Secret Diary From A
Female Prison") and also known as HELL PRISON and LOVE
IN A WOMENS' PRISON.
Also starring Rosita Torosh (RED
NIGHTS OF THE GESTAPO - 1977), Roger Browne, Valeria
Fabrizi, Franco Fantasia (EATEN
ALIVE! - 1980), Gabriella Giorgelli, Giuseppe 'Pino' Mattei (SO
DARLING, SO DEADLY - 1966), Elisa Mainardi and Maria Pia
Luzi (PLANETS
AGAINST US - 1962). Rated R.
WOMEN
OF HELL'S ISLAND (1978) -
Here's a lesser-known film from the busy Cirio H. Santiago. It's a
pretty standard WIP (Women In Prison) flick about a bunch of innocent
(and not so innocent) women who are kidnapped and brought to a remote
jungle camp where they are stripped, vaginally-inspected and told
they will be used as "sexual playthings for the bad guys".
The camp, it turns out, is a training facility for assassins and as
the butch camp leader explains to her financiers about the assassins,
"They're not robots. Sex is a need, like food." The new
girls are housed in a huge cave where some of the veteran prisoners
give them the skinny on their situation. They are enclosed in an
electrified fence and surrounded by jungle, which is full of swamps
and boobytraps, so escape is next to impossible. Every night, the
camp's sadistic warden (Ken Metcalfe), picks certain women to be used
for "room service". They are cleaned-up, injected with an
aphrodisiac and taken to "The Resort", a building that
contains rooms with nothing but beds, where they make love to the
assassins. If you don't come when the warden calls your number, he
simply shoots you point-blank in the chest and picks another woman.
The aphrodisiac eventually messes-up the women's nervous system,
causing them to go crazy or suicidal (one girl blows her head off
with an assassin's pistol and another jumps
out a window to her death), which is why new women are brought to
the camp regularly. Three women try to escape, but one is shot in the
back, one is blown-up when she steps on a land mine and the last one
is recaptured and thrown in a "Hot Box" (a steel box buried
in the ground) as punishment. Some of the new girls begin to dig an
escape tunnel, but the veteran prisoners tell them that they are
wasting their time. Meanwhile, the fiance of one of the newly-kidnapped
girls, Cindy (Bernadette Williams), puts the heat on the American
Embassy to find his girlfriend. That's when we find out that two of
the recently abducted women are actually undercover agents, but they
have yet to contact their superiors with their location. Some of the
veteran prisoners try to force their way out by taking the warden
hostage, but it all ends rather badly when all but one, Maggie (Kerry
Nichols), are massacred in a hail of automatic gunfire. Maggie is
then strung-up and whipped within an inch of her life. The warden
then rapes Cindy, but she grabs his knife and slices off his wang.
The warden kills Cindy with a couple of bullets to her chest and has
the camp doctor re-attach his penis. The finale finds the remainder
of the women escaping en mass through the tunnel and trying to make
it to a waiting plane, while avoiding enemy fire and a pissed-off
warden. Slow-moving and uninvolving, this exploitationer from
prolific Filipino director Cirio H. Santiago (THE
DEVASTATOR - 1985; SILK
- 1986) is too lethargic for it's own good. The script, by Santiago
regular Ken Metcalfe, is full of missed opportunities and gaping plot
holes (If you dig a tunnel in the jungle, how far do you have to dig
before you make it to safety?) and the film's snail-like pace gives
the viewer plenty of time to reflect on the deficiencies. Another
major problem is that we know precious little about these women, so
it's hard to get emotionally involved in their plight, even when they
are killed. All good WIP films give a little backstory to their
characters, so we can sympathize with them when they are put in
peril. There's none of that here, so when the women are killed
(especially the massacre after the warden is taken captive), it's
just like watching background characters taking a bullet. There's no
resonance. Santiago does throw in a lot of nudity and bits of gore
(impalements on spiked boobytraps, bloody bullet squibs, castration),
but without someone to identify with, it all rings hollow. That's
interesting, because Santiago produced such WIP classics like THE
HOT BOX and THE BIG BIRD CAGE
(both 1972), so he should have known better. (The less said about his THE
MUTHERS [1976] and CAGED HEAT II:
STRIPPED OF FREEDOM [ 1993], the better.). Santiago would
finally do the WIP genre proud when he directed CAGED
FURY (1983), which many people think is his masterpiece. I
wouldn't go that far, but it's much better than this one, which was
filmed under the title HELL HOLE and is also known as ESCAPE
FROM WOMEN'S HELL HOLE. This film has a copyright of 1984, but
it was actually filmed in 1978. Also starring Ingrid Greer, Nanette
Martin, Rosemarie Gil, Joe Mari Avellana, Bill Baldridge, Sherry
Greenwood, Nigel Hogge and Victor Ordonez. A Shine Home Entertainment
VHS Release. The only DVD of this film is from those thieving
bastards at Videoasia, as part of their TALES
OF VOODOO
series (Volume 1), under the title HELL HOLE. The VHS is
actually the preferred version. Not Rated.
WRONG
WAY (1972) - Nancy and Cathy are
picked up by a pair of drug dealers after their car breaks down in
the middle of nowhere. After convincing the girls that they are
geologists (!), the girls jump into their truck, unaware that they
are about to be delivered to a bunch of slimeball bikers who have
just taken delivery of a brick of grass. As soon as Nancy and Cathy
are spotted by the rest of the group, they are gang-raped. Cathy is
forced to perform oral sex on Nancy and then they are terrorized by
one member with a coral snake. A visiting biker gang think that the
other guys are going too far, so they leave. When Cathy doesn't call
in at her scheduled time, her father calls the sheriff and reports
his daughter and Nancy missing. The sheriff investigates and finds
the girls' abandoned car. The girls, meanwhile, are still being raped
by the gang. After all the guys are done, they toss the girls aside
and leave (incredibly, the girls beg them not to leave them alone!),
forcing Nancy and Cathy to find their own way back to civilization.
After walking a short way, the girls run into a Manson-like man (Ron
Darby) and his "family"
(including a baby boy) as they are burying a dead body in the rocky
terrain. The Manson-like man (who wears a Japanese robe and has a
necktie tied around his forehead) takes the girls prisoner and tells
his followers that he plans on killing them, but first they will have
a little fun with them. I guess the filmmakers ran out of money,
because the rest of the film is displayed as a series of quick edits,
as the police dispatcher tells the sheriff that Nancy and Cathy were
rescued from the hippie cult (one cult member takes a shotgun blast
to the balls) and the sheriff is called out to an abandoned cabin,
where he gets into a gunfight with two guys who have a woman prisoner
in their car's trunk. After killing both of the men and being wounded
himself, the sheriff radios for help, telling them "not to stop
for beer" on the way. In the immortal words of the sheriff:
"It's been a day. Not good, but different!" Terrible.
Simply terrible. Atrociously acted, edited and photographed, this
film looks like it was all filmed on the first take, as lines are
constantly flubbed and the motorcycle gang has a hard time staying
vertical on their bikes (One guy falls off his bike and it lands on
him. You can't fake the pain he displays.). This is nothing but scene-after-scene
of the girls being raped, intercut with scenes of the sheriff and
his men searching for them, all while some bad Bob Dylan-soundalike
sings a bad folk tune or bongo music plays on the soundtrack. While
there is both male and female full-frontal nudity on view and the
film flirts very near pornography territory, there is no hardcore
footage on view. Just endless scenes of softcore sex in every
position imaginable, including oral sex, intercut with endless scenes
of the sheriff talking into his radio or police cars driving around
dirt roads looking for the girls. There's also a weird scene in the
beginning of the film where the leader of the gang smokes a joint and
fantasizes about winning loads of money playing craps and poker,
followed by a nude girl in a cowboy hat and a tin foil star on one of
her nipples dancing around provocatively. That pot must be some good
shit! There's also a scene later in the film of two old guys and a
young girl in a cabin talking about trading the girl for some heroin
down in Mexico and then shots of the two guys screwing her. Since
neither scene has anything to do with the rest of the film, it's
apparent that one-time director Ray Williams put them in there to pad
out the running time. WRONG WAY
is a cheap, repellant film that wallows in rape, misongyny and
degredation. Don't waste your time. The only recognizable actors are
porn star Ron Darby (SWINGERS MASSACRE
- 1975) as the Manson-like cult leader, Jack Buddliner (THE
ADULT
VERSION OF JEKYLL & HIDE
- 1971) as one of the cabin rapists and Rene Bond, Lynn Harris and
Becky Sharpe as cult members. The remaining "actors"
include Laurel Canyon and Candy Sweet as Nancy and Cindy, Forrest
Lorne and Ray Wray. I'm willing to bet that they are all pseudonyms.
Available on DVD-R from many grey market sellers. Originally Rated X.
THE
YOUNG PREY (1973) - It's kind of
hard to tell what late director Lawrence Dobkin (who was also an
accomplished actor and TV director) was going for here. It's a real
simple story about a backwoods family called the Erdlys who come into
eight thousand dollars when a piece of their land is sold for a
highway project. Ma Erdly (Mercedes McCambridge), Pa Erdly (Ford
Rainey) and their kids Bruvver (John Lozier), Naomi (Simone Griffeth)
and half-wit J.C. (Buddy Foster) go into town in their horse-drawn
carriage to collect the money. They are then set
upon but some unscrupulous people who want to steal their money.
First up is a preacher (Parley Baer), who tries to guilt Pa into
giving him the money while guzzling down Pa's newly-bought moonshine.
Ma runs him off with her mop. The whole family treat themselves to a
bus trip to a county fair where Naomi is hit on by the motorcycle
cage rider Jake (Peter Green) and Bruvver falls in love with exotic
dancer Carmelita (Beverly Powers), who only goes after him because
she knows that his family has come into money. Jake sleeps with Naomi
and Carmelita has sex with Bruvver (after getting him drunk and
saying that they got married) in her motor home. They both miss the
bus home and Ma and Pa worry about what happened to them. Not to
worry as Carmelita pulls up to the Erdly's house the next morning in
her motor home demanding the money since she says that she is
entitled to it by law. After constant hijinks by J.C.., who lets the
air out of her tires and spits water at her, Carmelita just wants out
of the place. Along comes Jake and Naomi on his hog, drops Naomi off
and Carmelita jumps on the back as Ma chases them both off with her
mop. Bruvver and Naomi run off into the woods hand-in-hand and live
happily ever after. After a pretty funny beginning, especially the
scene where Ma has to tell a lawyer the names of her kids (Bruvver's
real name is Luke). The lawyer then asks if J.C. is short for
something biblical. She says J.C. is short for J.C. Penny, who was
running a sale the day she gave birth to him! Things go steadily
downhill from there. There's an implied scene that Bruvver and Naomi
are having an incestual relationship, but it is handled so tastefully
that you want to scream. There is some nudity (especially from
Griffeth, who was "Annie Smith" in DEATH
RACE 2000 - 1975), but absolutely no violence, blood or
gore. So one has to ask: What's the point of this film? The only
answer I could come up with is that backwoods folks are not so
different than us. They care about their kids and want the best for
them, even if they can't afford the best in life. And, oh yes: Money
corrupts. Aw, shucks. I'm getting all teary-eyed. Originally titled SIXTEEN
(it's also available on video from New
World Video under this title) and also known as LIKE
A CROW ON A JUNE BUG (also the title of the theme song) and CARNIVAL
TRAMP, this film is just an updating of the old Ma and Pa
Kettle films of the 50's with a little nudity thrown in. As a matter
of fact, Dobkin did co-star in a Ma and Pa Kettle film in 1953, MA
AND PA KETTLE ON VACATION. The transfer on the Direct Video
VHS was one of the worst in recent memory. It's so grainy and dark,
that you have to squint to see what's going on half the time. Go for
the New World version instead if you really want to see this. Hey,
it's a relic from the 70's, so there are some of you out there that
will view it on that aspect alone. Rated R, but besides the
small amount of nudity there's nothing objectionable here.
ZAMBO,
KING OF THE JUNGLE (1972) - In my
neverending quest to review every obscure film out there, this one
came in my mailbox unannounced. Since one of my greatest passions is
Italian genre films, I had to watch this one right away. Now I'm
sorry that I did. When Italian "peplum" films lost audience
interest, the country shaped like a boot began churning out films in
many genres, mainly Spaghetti Westerns, spy flicks, superhero films
and jungle films. This Italian Tarzan rip-off is an example of the
jungle film, a late entry made just before cannibal gore films became
popular. I'm surprised the estate of Edgar Rice Burroughs didn't sue
for copyright infringement.
The film opens with a quote from German philosopher Arthur
Schopenhauer: "In this world there is only one being
that is capable of being a liar: Man. Every other being is genuine
and sincere; they reveals themself as clearly as they express how
they feel." But don't think this film has such lofty
ambitions. Far from it. In the early 20th Century, we see George Ryon
(Brad Harris; THE MAD BUTCHER
- 1972) being handcuffed to a nameless prisoner (Mario Diosoni) as
they make a journey by train to a prison in Africa. George is going
to serve 30 years for a murder he didn't commit. Suddenly, the
nameless prisoner jumps
off the train and George has no choice but to go with him (in one of
the lamest escapes ever committed to film). They run into the jungle
and steal a gun from one the guards that is chasing them (The
nameless prisoner wants to kill him, but George says no). It takes
George three tries to shoot off the cuffs and he runs into the
jungle, telling the no-name prisoner not to follow him, but he
insists on going with him. They try to escape the jungle by building
a raft and rowing down river, but all they do is go deeper into
the jungle. Hopelessly lost and three days without food, the prisoner
with no name begins to go a little crazy from hunger. He eats a plant
that turns out to be poisonous and he dies. George gives him a proper
funeral ("I didn't even know your name!"), walks for days
in the jungle and is captured by a tribe of spear-carrying natives
(Delirious, George imagines that the native Chief is the chief
prosecutor at his sham murder trial!). Years pass, and the legend of
Zambo, King of the Jungle is born. There is talk in Africa and abroad
of a white man who fights for the people and is kind to animals.
Guess who that is?
We then see that an expedition, financed by Perkins (Daniele Vargas; EYEBALL
- 1975) and led by Professor Woodworth (Attilio Dottesio; SS
EXPERIMENT LOVE CAMP - 1975) and his beautiful niece Grace
(Gisela Hahn; CONTAMINATION
- 1980), who hope to find an ancient lost city in the jungle that is
said to contain a fortune in diamonds and jewels. George, or rather,
Zambo is aware of the expedition and secretly follows them, but he
finds time to break up an illegal native slavery ring headed up by
the nasty bad guy Mr. Morris (Enrico Chiappafreddo; MANHUNT
- 1972). When Mr. Morris asks his head native guide why he didn't
kill Zambo, he says, "Zambo I not kill because he people's
friend!" Mr. Morris vows to get even with Zambo. To show how
Zambo is the people's friend, we see him break up a fight between two
warring tribes (they are fighting because a member from each of their
tribes are getting married), simply by telling them that should have
a party! (the tribe members circle aroung him, raise their arms in
the air and shout "Yea!"). When the most insipid man in a
monkey suit tries to attack Grace, Zambo intervenes and offers to be
the expedition's guide, as long as they turn over all their guns to
him. They do and it's not long before Grace becomes Zambo's
"Jane". He already has a "Boy", a native child
named Ebon (short for Ebony?), who follows Zambo around. The
expedition is being followed by Mr. Morris, who hopes to get even
with Zambo, as well as stealing the jewels if they find them. Do you
think he is going to succeed?
This is a bloodless exercise in tedium, padded with stock footage of
jungle animals to fill out its overlong 94 minutes. When this
was filmed, director Bitto Albertini (ESCAPE
FROM GALAXY 3 - 1981) was an old hand at churning out all
sorts of Italian genre films, his most popular being films in the "Three
Supermen" franchise, as well as the war actioner WAR
DEVILS (1969), the giallo HUMAN
COBRAS (1971) and BLACK
EMANUELLE (1975), often using the pseudonyms "Ben
Norman", "Al Albert", "Albert J.
Walker" or "Albert Thomas". Brad Harris was a
popular actor in Italian genre films, appearing in many peplum films
during the early-'60s and later in the films KONG
ISLAND (1968), GIRL
IN ROOM 2A (1973), THE
FREAKMAKER (1973) and many others (including his role as
"Captain Tom Rowland" in the Kommissar
X series [1966-1971]). Harris was not the most expressive actor
out there. He's so wooden here, I half expected a native to climb him
for some coconuts! Harris passed away in November of 2017. Nearly
everyone here, excluding Zambo, are given proper British accents,
even some natives! This film could have used a healthy dose of blood
and nudity, but even the native women are covered-up. Since this is
an Italian film, poor little Ebon is killed by Mr. Morris (Italian
filmmakers have no problems showing children getting killed) and
Zambo throws Morris over a cliff (an obvious dummy). There is some
nice jungle scenery (filmed in Tanzania and Uganda), but is is not
enough to make it watchable. The threadbare ape costume did make me
laugh, though. An wait until you see a tribe member break dance! Even
when the expedition finds the lost city, it is far too fake-looking
and clean to leave an impression. Zambo doesn't have a signature
yell, but he sure can beat a native drum! Johnny Weismuller has
nothing to worry about.
First released on DVD in the United States by Full
Moon as part of their "Full
Moon's Grindhouse Collection". The print is windowboxed and
is titled ZAMBO, IL DOMINATOR DELLA FORESTA ("Zambo, the
Dominator of the Forest"). The image can be enlarged to fill up
an HDTV screen without losing much resolution, but that's not saying
much, as it looks to be a video master of the original Italian print.
Not available on anamorphic widescreen DVD or Blu-Ray (at the time of
this review). Thank your lucky stars. I really suffer for my craft.
Also starring Raf Baldassarre (EYEBALL
- 1975). Not Rated, but if it were, it would probably garner a PG.